Hey y'all!

So I got another lovely request, this time from BiderRider12 (Guest). I can tell this is going to be fun to write, because I literally was thinking about this for a full hour before I sat down to write. Also, Big Time Crib, I just realized this, it's not my favorite episode (that honor goes to Big Time Audition) but oh my goodness gracious there's so much panicky Logan in Big Time Crib it's lovely. Anyway, I just wanted to put that out there for anyone who wants to watch Logan be panicky. This chapter is dedicated to BiderRider12 for the request. Enjoy!

This only happened in movies. It didn't happen in real life. Oh, but it was indeed happening in real life, right in front of everyone at the Palm Woods pool. James almost laughed, he would've laughed, because, honestly? Poor kid.

But this was Logan. He couldn't laugh at Logan right now, not when his face was flushed red from embarrassment, and he was frozen, unresponsive to everything, even the laughter and jeering going on around him.

James had seen this happen once, in that one Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie. Greg had jumped off the diving board, landed in the water, but his swimsuit wasn't so lucky. It felt natural to laugh at Greg, Greg was annoying. So, James understood why everyone was laughing at Logan. But that was unacceptable. This was his best friend, not some loser fictional character from a movie.

James realizes that at this point, he wants to completely destroy and obliterate this NCSI kid, who's standing right there, so close to Logan, laughing the loudest. But James can't obliterate this kid yet. He has to get Logan out of the pool.

He stands up from the chair he was reclining on, suntanning. He winces, his skin burnt to a crisp. He was there for too long.

He takes three unused towels off of his and a nearby chair and makes his way over to Logan, who, as expected, is red with embarrassment, but still unmoving. James takes the first towel and wraps it around Logan, careful to keep it dry. He ties it as tight as possible. He wraps the second towel around himself, which aggravates his sunburnt skin even more, but there's probably some aloe vera in the apartment that he can use later. He lifts Logan out of the pool in one swift movement, which probably only adds to the smaller boy's embarrassment. He snatches up Logan's swim trunks and wraps them in the third towel when Logan isn't looking. At the moment, Logan is completely reliant on James's arm for balance.

James sends a quick death glare to everyone still staring. James takes longer glaring at the NCSI kid, until he looks away, the guy's face red. What was with that guy, harassing Logan like this all the time? James is about to continue staring down the crowd, about to lecture the shit out of them, but Logan's shivering against him, cold and uncomfortable. Later, James tells himself.

For now, he holds Logan close to him as they walk back up to Apartment 2J. He rubs Logan's shoulders, trying to offer some source of comfort, but, nothing.

He remembers only two weeks before, how Carlos had told him how Logan had been basically catatonic. He needed to be coaxed out of his bedroom. The only thing that really shook him out of that stupor was lemonade.

It was rather unfortunate that the circumstances in which Logan became unresponsive and despondent were always changing. There was never one perfect solution.

He would've tried the lemonade thing, but there was no way Logan could go back out in public again. Not until he had clothes on, anyway.

Clothes.

When they reach the apartment, James immediately turns to Logan's bedroom. Shirt, pants. There's a small sign taped to Logan's underwear drawer. James wrote it a few months ago:

Remember to follow the don't borrow underwear underwear code, Logan! 😃

He smirks at the sign before returning to his smaller friend, pile of clothes in hand. Logan shivers in the towel again. James can see his lips moving. That's sign number one. Senseless muttering.

"Oh, not today," James decides before he chucks the shirt at Logan. He blinks, and shivers again. The shirt is crumpled in his lap, his fingers twitching between the fabric.

"Come on, Loges," James tries, advancing towards his friend. He hesitates for a moment, but Logan's eyes are wide now, and he's about to freak out, and James can't have him freak out right now. He pulls the shirt over Logan's head and eases the arms through.

His hair is a complete mess, the shirt clings to him tightly, water seeping through it.

James sighs. That's the least of his problems, but it's still a bit of a problem. Could Logan get hypothermia like this? Logan would know.

James shakes his head and throws the underwear and pants at his friend as well, watching his face for any reaction.

"Everyone saw," Logan whispers, though his voice gradually increases in volume. His face is red, James can tell easily, even though his friend has his head in his hands. "Everyone saw, and I—"

James is quick to react, sitting down next to his friend and forcing him to face him. With his hands on Logan's shoulders, he begins. "And you are here now, in this apartment. Okay? It doesn't matter."

Logan jerks away. Full panic mode. James reaches out again, his grip more firm. Logan shakes his head, that stupid panic-smile overwhelming his face. That's sign number two. "Yes, yes, it does matter. Because that guy was there, and he—he and all his friends—and the paparazzi. James, what if the paparazzi—"

"Nope, they didn't."

"Or Jo, or Lucy, or the Jennifers, or Camille."

"Nope."

James could tell Logan wasn't listening anymore. He was really into it now, doing what Logan always did, stressing his humongous genius brain out until he broke himself down. That's sign number three.

"Logan, look at me."

Logan wasn't looking at him. He was about to stand up, but he was shaking (sign number four) and also not wearing pants, though James knew that wasn't even something Logan could register at the moment. He forces his friend back down next to him and wraps a steadying arm around his shoulders as he debates with himself.

He's out of options. He doesn't know what to do. Logan's absolutely freaking out.

James is gripping both of Logan's shoulders again. Logan is currently shaking and muttering things to himself that don't make sense to anyone except himself. They probably don't even make sense to Logan.

James pulls his friend into an embrace that is largely unsuccessful. Logan is still shaking. Slowly, however, the shaking comes to a stop. Sign number five appears quickly. Touch aversion. Sign number six shows up at the same time. Apologizing.

"Logan, stop, okay?" James says, trying to keep his voice soft as he feels Logan start to pull away. Of course, he doesn't let that happen, not yet. He goes through the regular process of reassurance because Logan has guilt problems that are so insanely massive, it's unbelievable. Valid, obviously, but frustrating that Logan couldn't just forgive himself for stuff.

"You're okay, I'm okay, you don't need to apologize for anything."

Logan's face flushes red again, the memory flooding back. "I—at the pool—"

"Yes, I know, we already talked about that, remember? That's not a big deal."

Logan makes one of those weird sounds he makes when he's like this, frustrated, annoyed and confused all at once instead of verbally responding.

He pulls away completely, his fists balled up. James can hear Logan cracking his knuckles, but only his thumbs, tucked inside the fists, because somehow Logan thinks his friends don't know he does this. They know, obviously. James opens up Logan's hands carefully.

"It is a big deal!" Logan protests. "James."

Now, James didn't know Logan had a seventh sign. But it's clear that he does. Sign number seven: being pissy and whiny. Of course, this is understandable, and Logan doesn't know what to do with himself. Coupled with all the other signs, many of which are still actively being displayed, Logan is a mess (namely: two, three, five and six). And James would like to deal with that, and console his friend so he isn't so much of a mess anymore. But James also needs to beat up that NCSI kid. Immediately.

James stands up then. It's later, isn't it? He said he would do this later, so he will.

He ignores it when Logan moves away from his touch and continues steering him towards his bedroom. He throws the clothes at his friend. "Go lie down, alright Loges? I'll be back in a minute. Put those on when you wake up."

And with that, James rushes down the lobby to beat up this idiot that is causing too many problems for everyone.

—

He shouldn't be happy about it, but he is. Partially. He wished he didn't get a black eye, or kicked in the ribs as much as he did, but the fact of the matter was, the other guy walked away from the fight so much worse.

He's wearing a smile on his face that only grows when he sees Logan, fully dressed in warm, comfortable clothes. Logan looks back at his friend, but he's frowning.

"James, what did you do?"

Logan thinks he's the master of deflection. No, he isn't. Because he learned from the best. And guess who the best is? James. "How are you feeling now, Logan?"

James is the ultimate king of deflection, and it's obvious when Logan answers instead of persisting with his own questions. "I'm—better. If I don't think about it. I'm really—"

James holds up a hand to silence him. Pretending to be bored, even though he's greatly relieved most of the Logan freaking out signs have disappeared, he replies. "Logan, if you say I'm sorry, I might actually have to kill you."

"But—"

He's discreetly rummaging around for an ice pack as he interrupts Logan. The ice packs haven't fully frozen, but he doesn't care. "Do you really think I can't hire a hitman or something? We're in the middle of LA, buddy. It'd be pretty easy if you ask me."

This is, once again, another deflection tactic that works pretty well. James is able to find some Advil for his headache and Neosporin for his cuts as Logan thinks up his response.

"What do you think Mrs. Knight would say if you hired a hitman?"

"Nothing, hitmen are very good at their jobs. She wouldn't even know."

The door opens to reveal Mrs. Knight herself. "Know what?" she asks, arms full of groceries. James rushes over quickly to help her.

"Oh, nothing," James says as he sets the bag of groceries on the counter. Mrs. Knight gasps, most likely because his face is a far outcry from its usual beauty. James shakes his head and directs a pointed look at Logan, oblivious.

"James thinks he could hire a hitman and you somehow wouldn't know," Logan chimes in, turning to face the other two. This is when James turns his back to Logan and hides his face with another bag of groceries.

"I doubt that," she replies cooly.

"Are there more groceries in the car, Mrs. Knight?" James asks, eyes pleading with her to let them have a private conversation outside.

"Just a few," she answers, eyebrows knit in confusion. She finally nods and they head out into the hall.

"What happened to your face, honey?" she asks. She reaches up to inspect the bruise but James turns away.

"I'm okay. Just a little beat up."

Her jaw drops and her eyes narrow. "Beat up?"

"Don't worry about me, Mrs. Knight. The other guy is much worse."

She's glaring now, lips pressed together, probably to keep herself from screaming at him. "James."

He holds his hands up in surrender. "Shouldn't we get the groceries?"

They do.

On the way back up to the apartment, James takes the opportunity to explain. "I didn't really hurt the other guy that badly. He was laughing at Logan. And, Mama Knight, this kid has been literally harassing Logan for months. Remember his last panic attack?"

She nods slowly.

"It was that kid's fault. And this one was too."

"This one? He had another?"

"Well, kinda? I think it started off with just embarrassment, but then there was panic attack, and then an anxiety attack, and then this confusing mix of both and—okay. We were at the pool and something, um, embarrassing, happened to Logan, and this kid is the first one to start laughing, and he's making fun of him. So are his friends, and the whole Palm Woods pool, really."

She nods again, shifting the bag of groceries in her arms.

"And, well, because of this embarrassing thing, Logan couldn't even get out of the pool. He just stood there until I lifted him out. And we came back to the apartment, he was just shaking and muttering to himself. He—I had to put his shirt on for him. He wasn't even functioning."

"He looks fine now," she muses, but then sighs. "I'm so sorry you had to deal with this, sweetheart."

"Yeah," James agrees. "I made him take a nap. He was better after that."

"And then you talked to him about hiring a hitman? For me?"

James rolls his eyes. "No! Not for you, for Logan, It's not—I mean, I know that sounds weird without context, but it's really not—"

Mrs. Knight swings the door open. She sets her bag of groceries on the counter. James does the same.

"Most of the things you boys say to me are weird either way, honey."

He knows that better than anyone. But if all it takes is a nap and the lengthy discussion of a hitman to get Logan back to normal, he'd do it again.

Just, maybe not have Mrs. Knight walk in during the middle of the hitman conversation. Yeah. Solid plan.

So, a few of y'all have been asking for me to write a part two to Big Time Bully. And, well, I sort of did, unintentionally. Hope you enjoyed! Have a lovely day!