CHAPTER 6: LADYNOIRE

Blair

It was no surprise that I wasn't able to concentrate at school at all the next day. How can I?

After that stunt I pulled last night, I can only wish that it wouldn't reach Ladybug. It would've been fine if I managed to convince Shizuke to give me a copy of that chart, but nope! Times like these, I wish I didn't have enhanced hearing. Ladybug isn't known for being merciful to people's ears. And that's not even the worst case scenario.

Shizuke is sitting right behind me. He's glaring at me as usual, being awfully chipper for someone who was definitely up past his bed time. His glasses couldn't hide the dark circles around his eyes. But that's not concerning. What I'm really worried about is if he tells Keagan about last night.

"You look out of it," Keagan told me as soon as the bells for dismissal rang. His eyes are narrowed like he's trying to collect clues as to why I'm not at peak beauty.

"I just didn't get enough sleep last night, that's all. I'll be fine after a quick nap…"

"If you say so," Keagan said sounding unconvinced.

As I sleepily gathered my things, he turned right behind us to Shizuke and Fiona.

"Have you heard of the Chat Noire sightings last night?"

Crud. That jolted my half-asleep brain.

"What's that about?" asked Fiona.

"People posted on the Ladyblog about Chat Noire running around the city last night, but there was no sight of Ladybug."

Double crud. Now I'm sure Ladybug would know by the time we have our usual patrols. Let me just kiss my sense of hearing goodbye.

"What could she be running around for?" asked Shizuke in a tone too stiff for the casual question, his eyes so intensely focused on Keagan's his glasses are practically glowing.

… You're not gonna tell your BFF?

Fiona gave Shizuke a long hard stare, also noticing how weird it is that her nerd friend isn't fan boying. Thankfully, she kept quiet about it.

"I have no idea…" Keagan glumly said, too busy staring at his phone to notice how Shizuke is acting more stiff than usual.

"Maybe she's just doing extra patrols but didn't want to bother Ladybug," Shizuke suggested, sounding like he's reading off a script and failing to add his usual passion to his words.

Keagan furrowed his brows at Shizuke and then he sighed, his shoulders slumping down in defeat.

"… Maybe you're right," Keagan hesitantly agreed, either he miraculously didn't notice his friend's bad acting, or just didn't care because what he said had solid logic. "Ugh… And I thought I had a scoop just now! An extra patrol night doesn't sound like it's worth posting an article about."

Shizuke Midorikawa, I could almost kiss you right now. You have no idea how you just helped me save face!

Now all I have to worry about is Ladybug at patrol tomorrow.

0-0-0-0-0

Shizuke

I've been pacing from one side of my room to the other in the past hour, mentally debating with myself on whether or not this is a good idea.

"What are you thinking about?" Tikki asked, floating by my side. Maybe a second opinion would be for the best.

"I was wondering if it's alright to tell Chat Noire who I really am."

"Shizuke, you know it's for your own safety why you can't tell her…"

"I know, but after what happened last night, I just thought it might be safer if she knew."

"Last night could just be a one-time thing. Just tell Chat Noire not to visit civilians like that anymore. I'm sure she'll understand," Tikki insisted.

"It's not just that, Tikki. She knew about my akuma chart. I've only told Kaji and Fuyu about it once, back in the bakery two weeks ago. That's the most likely time she could've learned about it that I can think of."

"Shizuke, please carefully think this through…"

"What are the odds that she would be in the very same bakery as I was that day?"

"Well, you two did just take down an akuma nearby. Maybe she just ate lunch there for convenience. It could just be a coincidence."

"And she knows where I LIVE!"

"… Okay, that is a bit concerning," Tikki reluctantly agreed, but I was already on a roll.

"What if we know each other as civilians? Who could she possibly be? She seems to be around my age… Maybe we go to the same school together!" I gasped at where this line of logic is leading me. "What if we're in the same class?!"

The possibilities flooded into my head. It was so overwhelming. To think, Chat Noire could be so close… Wait, is it just me, or is the air getting thinner around here?

Tikki zipped up and bopped me on the nose to get my attention. She flew off to a more respectable distance, her tiny arms waving gently. "Calm down! Breathe with me! Breathe in…" she floated up. "Breathe out…" she floated down.

I followed her orders and breathed in time with her floating up and down. After calming down, I reanalysed the facts and decided that the odds of her being a classmate is slimmer than none. We've been doing this for almost an entire semester. I'm sure we would've noticed each other's disappearance during akuma attacks at this point. Even if the glamour prevents us from recognizing each other, it would be ridiculous if we don't notice anything if we're that close to each other every day.

"Better?" Tikki asked, still looking over me worriedly with big blue eyes and her antennas bobbing down.

"Yeah, thanks," I said, tiredly sitting down on my bed to continue telling Tikki my thoughts and explain my idea in a calmer way. I'd rather do this with Tikki's approval.

"Tikki, I just want you to know that I understand the dangers of telling people my secret. I always wanted to tell Kaji and Fuyu but-"

"You can't."

"They won't take it well. I know that more than anyone… They'll feel strongly about this and Hawkmoth will surely take advantage of them."

"Fiona's already not taking Keagan's Ladyblogging well as it is. What more if she finds out you're jumping at akumas too?"

That thought made me shudder. Imagine: an akumatized Fuyu. She's guaranteed to be one of the strongest akuma, and what's worse, she'll be directly targeting me.

"That's why I listened to you and hid my double life from them."

Tikki hovered over my face and nuzzled my cheek.

"I know it's hard for you to keep secrets from them. You're honest to a fault."

"Or I'm just bad at lying. One whole night of practicing my lies to Kaji earlier and I still just barely managed it."

Tikki giggled at my attempt at humor. I laughed with her.

"That too. But it's for their own safety and I'm proud of you for keeping it a secret."

I fell back on my bed. The poster I taped on the ceiling stared back at me. I taped it up there in the early days of being Ladybug as a reminder that I didn't just dream up a weird fantasy. It was a poster of Ladybug and Chat Noire, standing side by side as the proud heroes of the city. My pulse raced at just the sight of my partner.

Tikki floated up to block my view.

"But this isn't about them," Tikki said, bringing us back to the original topic.

"Chat Noire is different from them," I said. "It's not just because we're both living double lives. Chat Noire is more even-tempered than Kaji and Fuyu, and she can keep a level head in almost any situation."

"And you think she's the best person to trust?"

"Who better? If anyone's going to take my secret well, it would be her."

"I think it may be too soon."

"We've been a team for a little over four months. I think it's about time. If she still wants my akuma chart, it'll be easier for me to hand it over to her without worrying about giving away my secret identity by accident. This can even help make Ladybug and Chat Noire's connection to our civilian identities even more invisible since meetings like the one I, as Shizuke, just had with Chat Noire would no longer happen. If we need to talk about anything, we'll just talk hero to hero, or civilian to civilian. Hawkmoth would be less likely to draw connections if we keep our hero identities as far away from our civilian identities as possible."

"I suppose you have a point there… Are you sure those are your only reasons for this?" Tikki pried with narrowed blue eyes, her tiny arms on her waist like a mother trying to get her children to admit they ate cookies before dinner.

"… Fine. I also think this is a good chance to get to know her better… And maybe we can hang out instead of only meeting during akuma attacks and patrols…" I can feel my cheeks heating up at the idea. I can just imagine it: the two of us going around the city, watching movies, playing at arcades, eating ice cream…

Tikki shook her head. "Shizuke, if you're going to do this, you better set your priorities in order. It shouldn't be about improving your chances with your crush. It should be about whether it would be safer for you to keep hiding your identities or to tell each other now so you don't accidentally give yourselves away at a more crucial time."

What Tikki said felt like a rush of cold water splashed all over me. My pulse slowed and my face felt less heated than earlier. With all the conviction I can muster, I said, "That won't be a problem Tikki. Chat Noire is too important to me. Her safety matters more to me than a chance to get closer to her. You have my word."

0-0-0-0-0

Chat Noire

It's Wednesday night. One of our patrol days.

I nervously wait for Ladybug to arrive at our usual starting point, at the top of the hundred year old tree at Lucia Park.

I heard the familiar zipping of a yoyo chord a few seconds before I saw a red spotted yoyo wraps itself around a tree branch.

Okay, just as I planned. If Ladybug asks about the Chat Noire sightings two nights ago, I'll tell him I was just stretching my legs with extra patrols. This should be easy.

He started talking as soon as his feet touched the ground. "Hey Chat Noire! I wanted to talk to you about…"

"I'm sorry for badgering a citizen!"

… And that just slipped out. Ugh! He hasn't even asked me yet!

"W-what?"

I run my hand through my wild red hair and looked away from my partner.

I can keep secrets from him, and drag him into my schemes without telling him first… but I just can't lie to his face! Never really could, outside of keeping my secret identity. He just has that effect on me. Kinda like Blake.

"Look, Ladybug. I can explain."

"Explain what?"

And so I went and hurriedly explained what happened. The chart, the fan visit, the less than graceful exit…

"I promise I did NOT break into his house, hack his computer, or steal his stuff! I swear! Cat's honour!" I was panting by the end of my explanation. I looked away from him, scared of what he's going to say about this.

More than a loud scolding, I'm more scared of losing that heroic image he has of me. Ruining our partnership is the worst case scenario.

"It's okay."

I looked back up to him. There was a tentative smile on his face as he awkwardly patted my shoulder. It was enough to calm me down.

"Maybe you could go and apologize to him someday. I'm sure he'll forgive you. Just don't go visiting him like that again anytime soon so you don't accidentally turn him into a target."

I let out a sigh of relief.

"Oh thank God…"

Just when I thought I was out of the woods, he asked, "How DID you know about his record of akuma attacks?"

"Uhh…"

"If he wanted people to know about it, he would've posted it on the Ladyblog. It's a very public site where anyone could've submitted stuff to Keagan," he pressed, trying too hard to sound casual about it. "How did you know about it?"

"… Let's just say I was there when he was explaining his chart to his friends. I can't tell you any more than that."

"Ooh, okay then..."

Times like these remind me of why he's my most trusted partner. He doesn't pry if it makes me uncomfortable. He puts so much trust in me.

That's why I just can't do anything to break that trust, like lie or break into my classmate's house to steal his info. He deserves better than that… Aaand I'll get an even bigger scolding if he finds out. One of the downsides of having enhanced hearing is that I have a loudmouth of a partner who is prone to scolding at the top of his lungs.

"… Uhm… Chat Noire, have you ever considered revealing ourselves to each other?"

… Oh crud.

Well, at least he asked first. But my decision against it still stands.

"No. Ladybug, no."

"But-"

"Let's just start patrol. Later Bugsy!" I said, vaulting out of the tree and onto the nearest building.

But Ladybug didn't drop the topic.

What's gotten into him?!

"I think we should put more thought into this before we decide whether or not this would be a bad idea!" Ladybug negotiated.

"No!" I yelled back, not caring what for he had to say. I have my reasons.

"I've thought this through, and there's so many benefits if we do! I'll enumerate it for you!"

"No!"

"It'll strengthen our bond!"

"No!"

"It'll make contacting each other easier!"

"No!"

"We can spar together without anyone bothering us!"

"No!"

"No more running away from each other when we our time runs out!"

"No!"

"We can share hiding spots!"

"No!"

"Fans won't mob us if we go and get ice cream together as civilians!"

"No!"

Why is he being persistent?! If only I could just shut a door on him or end hang up on him...

"… Don't you trust me?"

If it weren't for my enhanced hearing, I wouldn't have heard him.

I stopped by the top of the department store's building and waited for him to catch up. As soon as I heard him land, I settled a firm gaze at him.

"It's not that I don't trust you, Ladybug… It's just that, I'm afraid of what this will do to our partnership."

For reasons I don't know, he just doesn't like me behind the mask. He's colder around me as Blair, and has never called me by name. Considering the kind of person Ladybug is there's a really good chance that his strange aloofness towards Blair will definitely affect our teamwork, try as he might to not let it show.

"Well, sure, we'll end up cooperating more outside the mask so there's definitely going to be changes, and-" he tried to insist, but I cut him off.

"And then there's the people I live with to think about. They'd be suspicious if I suddenly started hanging out with some guy I've just met."

Blake would surely notice if I start hanging out with a guy out of the blue. He might even get suspicious. He can't know about my double life! And that's not even mentioning the Liungs. If those two ever see me spending a lot of time with a guy who isn't Blake… Let's just say, it'll be like living with two Keagans.

Ladybug faltered. "… Oh, right… I didn't think about that…"

"Besides, I'm not even sure if our civilian selves could meet that much anyway."

As a part time model, I spend most of my free time either catching up on homework or doing photo shoots. The only free time I do have, I spend it to patrol at night, like right now. It's why we came up with a flexible patrol schedule. Outside akuma attacks, our civilian lives come first.

"And then there's the possibility of being akumatized. We don't know for sure if we could get akumatized but just in case we do, then at least we don't know each other as a civilian. We won't be able to rat each other out to Hawkmoth."

Plagg was being annoyingly evasive when I asked him about this. Since he refuses to give me a straight answer, then I'm just gonna assume that it is possible. It's possible that having a Miraculous helps us resist getting akumatized because we have kwamis to give us an outlet to vent out negative emotions. Even a kwami as annoying as Plagg can do that.

"I trust you Ladybug. It's just that, with the things going on when I'm not Chat Noire, and all the other risks, I don't think now is the right time. We're still learning the ropes, and the cons still outweigh the pros. I'd rather not take my chances for now."

Ladybug slumped down in defeat.

"… Okay. I understand. I'm sorry for being pushy about it."

The rest of the patrol went on with silence. We both had quite a week, and it's only Wednesday.

0-0-0-0-0

"Plagg, did I do the right thing?"

"Kid, you know I don't really care if you reveal who you are to him or not."

Patrol has ended and Plagg and I are back in my room.

"I know. It's just… Why was he suddenly so persistent to reveal ourselves? Ladybug never brought this up before. Didn't his kwami warn him about the dangers of revealing our identities to each other?" I paced from one side of my room to the other with one hand tapping my chin and the other held close to me. "Did something happen? Did I do something? What if…"

Plagg rolled his eyes and unwrapped another slice of camembert. "If it was something important, Ladybug wouldn't have dropped it as quickly as he did."

"But…"

"Ladybug is a big boy. Whatever his reasons, he can handle it."

Maybe he could. But there's still one more thing gnawing at me: My reasons for wanting to keep my identity a secret. It's true that I also want my family and the Liungs to stay safe, and make sure my identity stays hidden from Hawkmoth… But when it comes to Ladybug, the biggest motivator for me to keep my secret is…

"I just don't want him to stop looking at me like a hero. And with his coldness to Blair, I'm afraid he'll stop if he knew. Plagg, am I being selfish?"

Plagg stopped eating his camembert and looked at me like I've grown two heads.

I narrowed my eyes at him.

He bursts out laughing.

I pouted in annoyance.

"I'd be completely lying if I told you you're not, Miss I-need-my-beautiful-face-for-money!"

I narrowed my eyes to further emphasize my annoyance.

"But you're improving."

"Really Plagg?"

"Really. You actually care about that noisy bug. It's a step up from how you started."

I was expecting the black cat to ruin the moment any second after that, but he never did. He just continued to noisily eat his camembert. I smiled at that thought as I drifted off to sleep.

0-0-0-0-0

Shizuke

After patrol, I made my way into my room. I automatically caught Tikki and went over to my cookie jar. Sensing my mood, Tikki flew out of my hands and over to my head, patting it gently.

"It's okay Shizuke…"

That's all she can really say that wouldn't come off as a variation of 'I told you so'. She only barely agreed to the reveal because of all the reasons I've laid out. Her only condition was to ask Chat Noire first, which was something I would've done anyway.

"It's not like I wasn't expecting this."

"To be fair, your strongest argument involves Chat Noire's unexpected visit that night. You can't use that without revealing yourself before she agrees to a reveal."

Right. It all boiled down to that, which was why Tikki agreed to this at all.

"I know that she isn't exactly thrilled with the idea from the start, but I thought if I could just tell her my side of things, maybe she'd see the benefits of a reveal… I didn't even consider how it would look strange if two virtual strangers suddenly started hanging out."

"I'm sure the two of you would've figured something out eventually," Tikki encouraged.

"And then there's her family potentially noticing it. I don't have that problem with both of my parents working overseas and my grandmother being busy with her shop."

"Well, most kids your age have parents that wouldn't mind if their kids get a new friend out of the blue as long as the friend doesn't seem like a bad influence. Don't feel too bad if you didn't consider that."

I petted Tikki's head to show how I appreciate her attempts to cheer me up. While I know that she would rather we keep our identities a secret from each other, it's nice to know that Tikki is still as supportive and as encouraging as ever.

"I wasn't expecting much out of revealing ourselves besides a closer friendship and convenience."

There's this part of me that is head-over-heels for her that did hope that this may help my chances with her… But the more rational part of me nagged that a person as amazing as her is probably way out of my league, even without the mask, and that I should be content with a better friendship.

"All I was really thinking was how much easier things could be if we revealed ourselves to each other. I just can't stand hiding things from people. Having Chat Noire know would've lightened that burden. I didn't think much about how Chat Noire would've felt or the risks I'm asking her to take. All I was thinking of was how convenient it would've been for me… Tikki, am I selfish?"

"Well, you have your moments… While you were being pushy, at least you asked her about it first and respected her decision to not to."

"Thanks for being honest."

And I mean it. At least I still have Tikki and I'll always be grateful for her presence. I'm not sure how I would've handled all of this hero stuff without her.

"The two of you are just not ready yet. Just give it more time Shizuke."

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