Between Truths and Lies

by ErisLuna35

Shizuke Midorikawa was just an average boy who lives in an apartment above a flower shop with his grandmother. Blair Crawford was a fairly famous girl who models part time with her brother but dreams to be something else. They had nothing in common… Until a monster attacked their school and they received magical jewelry that allows them to transform into superheroes.

17. 4-1 Slumber

CHAPTER 17: RESTLESS

Notes: This episode happened a couple of weeks after Scorched Origins. So, Shizubug here is crankier and not crushing on Chat Noire, and Blairchat here is laying it thick with the cocky heroine act. Also, there will be lots of callbacks to Scorched Origins. This episode can be read without reading Scorched Origins first as most of the callbacks are nightmare sequences anyway, but it does add context to a couple of things here. Trigger Warnings, some depictions of PTSD. Other notes, dialogues that appear like "[this]" means it's said in Japanese. I'm not gonna bother writing anything in the actual Japanese words if the POV character himself can just translate it for everyone's reading convenience. With that said, enjoy!

0-0-0-0-0

???

Choosing them had been a gamble.

Creation and Destruction. Yin and Yang. Two parts of a whole. Such a combination with great potential… Perhaps it's only fitting these Miraculous tend to be drawn to people as different as night and day:

A headstrong Ladybug with something to prove.

A confident Chat Noire who hasn't quite let go of the past.

They could make up for what their partner lacks and help each other grow… Or their differences will prove to be too great and they'd clash too much to work as a team.

I didn't want to pick them at first, but there were no better candidates than them. They were young - too young. They have so much potential. Given a few years, they could become something great… But they don't have years to find their footing.

Only time will tell if I've made the right choice.

0-0-0-0-0

Ladybug

The clanging sound of a staff hitting metal echoed through the empty warehouse. The light of the full moon and her glowing green eyes were my only guides in finding my opponent. Every swing of her staff, I barely managed to dodge. I swung my yoyo into a defensive shield.

"Is that the best you've got?" Chat Noire mocked, leaning over her staff under her chin with a wicked grin.

I huffed and with my yoyo swinging wildly, I charged at her. Quick to react, Chat Noire dodged by slamming the end of her staff on the ground and quickly extended it. My yoyo wrapped around her staff instead. I tried to pull back to force her down but Chat Noire was ready for it. She jumped off her staff and landed by my side. Chat Noire didn't give me time to react. A swift kick to my stomach had me down on the floor in a flash. With the end of her staff pointed at my head and my yoyo in her 'Cataclysm' hand, this fight was as good as over.

"I yield."

For the fifth time that night, Chat Noire defeated me in our sparring session. My partner put away her staff and offered me a helping hand. I pushed it away and helped myself up.

"Aww, don't be such a sourpuss," Chat Noire said, the smugness in her tone annoyed me more than it should. "You lasted like, fifteen seconds longer than last time."

"That's hardly an improvement."

"It's only been like, three weeks. I don't expect you to be as good as I am in a fight," Chat Noire just couldn't help but brag about her superior fighting skills and rub salt on my wounded pride. She flashed an obnoxiously cocky grin and spun my yoyo on the tip of her claw before offering my weapon back. "Just count on me to do most of the fighting while you do your thing with Lucky Charm and fix everything when we're done."

It's been almost a month since we received our Miraculous and it's become increasingly clear that Chat Noire is the better fighter between the two of us. Much better fighter. It's like she was born ready for this! If it weren't for the fact that I'm the only one who can purify akuma and fix everything, I'd be completely useless next to her.

I snatched my yoyo and took a fighting stance. "Again."

In response, Chat Noire just nonchalantly stretched her arms up and crossed them behind her head. "Nope. That's enough sparring for now. Let's call it a night."

"No! I can still fight another round!"

"Your eye bags beg to differ."

I clenched my fists and I stomped my foot on the ground. With a glare, I said, "This is not the time to slack off! We have to get stronger! Hawkmoth has to go down as soon as possible!"

That woman… Just the thought of her makes my blood boil. I can never forgive her for what she did – for what she's still doing to others.

"Whoa there, Bugsy. Chill," Chat Noire waved her arms up in a placating manner.

"How can I be 'chill' at a time like this?! She's still out there! Any minute now, she can turn anyone into an akuma and we're no closer to finding her!"

"This is what happens when you're up way past your bedtime for several days in a row, Cranky Pants," Chat Noire placed her arms down to rest on her hips and had the nerve to talk to me like I'm some kid having a tantrum. "We'll find her."

"She could be anywhere! She can attack using anyone! You should take this threat more seriously!"

"Believe me, I'm all for taking down the crazy old hag. But I don't think we'll be fighting her again anytime soon," Chat Noire's fake leather ears curled back, the only sign that shows she's as frustrated about our lack of progress as I am. But that didn't make her words any less aggravating. "We've searched every inch of the city, asked everyone we could, and we came up with no leads. Over three weeks and no progress. I think it's time to ease up on our patrol days. We could use the time to relax and focus on our lives."

I growled my disapproval of that plan. "No! We have to be even more vigilant! We can't drop our guard just because we haven't found her yet!"

"And what do you propose we do?" Chat Noire smirked maliciously as she raised a clawed finger for every suggestion, each sounding more mocking than the last. "Patrol the entire city every night? And while we're at it, should we also save every cat stuck in a tree? Help every old lady cross the street? Stop every purse-snatcher even when they're halfway across the city?"

"You knew?" I leveled her with a disapproving glare. "And you didn't help me?!"

"It's all over the Ladyblog," Chat Noire lowered her clawed hand back to rest on her hip and rolled her eyes. "Overboard much?"

"We're heroes! It's our duty!"

"Au contraire Ladybug, stopping Hawkmoth is our main duty. We should focus on that, not overextend ourselves helping everyone for every minor thing."

"If we don't do it, who will?!"

"There's still the cops-"

"They're useless! They're not the ones with superpowers! It has to be us! This is what we're chosen for!"

The smug grin on the black cat finally dropped. Chat Noire folded her arms over her chest, her glare as cold as ice. "If you're so eager to work yourself to exhaustion, then you can do it yourself. Leave me out of it."

"Chat Noire, don't be unreasona-"

"No, you're the one being unreasonable!" Chat Noire snarled, showing off her fangs. "Our main priority is to stop akumas and capture Hawkmoth. That's literally it. We don't need to go overboard with all the extra hero duties! They don't need our help with every little thing! We're not here for everyone else's convenience!"

"Don't you dare talk like that about the people we swore to protect!"

"They're not worth the effort! They don't deserve it!"

There was a tense silence as we glared at each other.

"If that's how you feel, then fine," I said. "Leave."

Chat Noire huffed, her annoying smirk returning. "Really, Bugsy? You're gonna fire me?"

"I don't need a partner who doesn't care for the citizens."

"At least I get things done," Chat Noire said with a condescending smirk. "I don't know what the guardian ever saw in you but you're not good enough for the Ladybug Miraculous. Don't come crying to me if an akuma manages to kick your incompetent overworked butt!"

Chat Noire turned away from me, walking out of the warehouse. Her words stung, but I won't let her get the last word.

"You may be the better fighter, but you're hardly a hero," my words made her pause, but she stubbornly refused to turn back. If this is how she's gonna be, then fine. "Maybe this is why you weren't the one given the Ladybug Miraculous. If I were the guardian, I wouldn't trust someone as callous as you with the power to save the day."

For once, the snarky cat didn't have a comeback. She stabbed her staff on the floor – with so much force that the cement cracked – and vaulted herself out of the warehouse.

Alone in the warehouse, I decided to continue training myself. I don't need her. She's not the one who could purify the akuma or fix everything. What I lack is something I could fix with a little hard work. I'll get stronger.

I don't need her.

I can do this on my own.

0-0-0-0-0

Blair

"Stupid bug. What does he know about anything?" I grumbled as I dropped my transformation in my room. "He's not the boss of me!"

"Barely a month in and you two are already breaking up?" Plagg sneered after making his Camembert disappear.

"He started it."

My ever so supportive kwami snorted at me. How precious.

"Look Plagg, I know you can still get the gist of what's going on when I'm transformed. You've seen how Ladybug was like. He's in over his head on this one, and I don't share his fatalistic crowd-pleaser views."

Plagg rolled his eyes. "But he's your partner and you're stuck with him. Deal with it."

My hands wove themselves into my hair to massage my scalp, just barely resisting the urge to pull my hair out. "Who the heck chose him to be my partner anyway?!"

"The guardian, duh."

I narrowed my eyes at my kwami. "Now you wanna talk about him?"

This isn't the first time I asked Plagg about where my Miraculous came from. I always wondered… But the only time Plagg ever mentioned the guardian was on the day I got my Miraculous.

"You are simply the best person for this job and you are trusted to use my powers responsibly. It's got nothing to do with your mother, but you. Of all the people in this city, the guardian saw potential in you- Believed people needed you. That is why you're chosen to wield my Miraculous. Take it or leave it."

Since then, Plagg never mentioned the guardian no matter how many times I asked. Every time, he keeps steering the conversation towards cheese. That is, until today.

"Actually, this guardian is a 'her'. And yes, I'm mentioning her now that the heroic duo she picked isn't working out the way she hoped."

I folded my arms under my chest. "And how exactly did she thought we were supposed to work out?"

"You could've helped Bugaboy be less of a stubborn stick in the mud."

I snorted. "Yeah, not happening."

"And he could've helped you out with your own issues."

This time, I let out the most sarcastic laugh I've ever done in my life. Plagg gave me an unimpressed look, so I stopped and told him flatly, "That's definitely not gonna happen. I don't have issues and even if I did, I don't think Ladybug would be much help there."

"Really?"

"Yes, Plagg. I don't need him," I said through gritted teeth. "I'm better off without him."

"But he's the only one who can fix everything."

I fiddled with the ring on my finger. "It takes more than having the right Miraculous to be a good hero, and Ladybug merely lucked out on that."

"You may be the better fighter, but you're hardly a hero," Ladybug said in that self-righteous tone he likes to use. "Maybe this is why you weren't the one given the Ladybug Miraculous. If I were the guardian, I wouldn't trust someone as callous as you with the power to save the day."

Just the thought of what he said made my blood boil.

"Getting to the point where he can fix everything is just as important, and he's not gonna get there without me."

I looked out the window. The moon has long reached its highest point and can only descend from this point on. I'm sure Ladybug is off training himself to exhaustion somewhere. Also somewhere out there, the guardian could be watching us.

"Maybe I can show the guardian she gave the Ladybug Miraculous to the wrong person."

0-0-0-0-0

Shizuke

My alarm clock blared at exactly 6am. I got up from bed and made my way over to the kitchen. Our kitchen is a small place with all the essentials and not much else. On one side there's a gas stove with an oven, a rice cooker with a steamer, and a cupboard. Another side by the window, there's a sink with a dish rack attached to the side. Setting apart our small kitchen from the rest of the apartment is a countertop with a pull-out dining table, light lamps hung above it. Off to the side next to the counter is a wall to hang cooking pots and pans, and our fridge with electric magnets holding up pictures of me, Grandma, my family and friends.

Deciding on what to make for breakfast wasn't that difficult since my cooking is as basic as it gets; fry or steam whatever I can find in the fridge with a bowl of rice from the rice cooker. Today, it's eggs and hotdogs with rice. As I finished washing the rice and placing the right amount of water in the rice cooker, grandmother woke up, rolled up the sleeves of her orange yukata and started cutting up the hotdogs.

"[Grandma, you don't need to do this. Just relax and I'll prepare breakfast]" I pressed down the button for the rice to start cooking before gently trying to take the knife out of my grandmother's hands.

Grandmother dodged my reach and clicked her tongue. "[I'll have you know that I don't need my legs to cook.]"

"[But you need your legs to stand and reach the counterto – Ow! Stop that!]"

Grandmother stopped poking me with her cane and continued to cut up the hotdogs. "[That'll teach you for being a smart mouth around your elders.]"

"[I wasn't being a smart mouth. I was just stating facts – Ow!]"

Another poke before she passed me the hotdogs, which are now shaped like little octopus.

"[I've been cooking long before your mother was born. I can finish up before my legs need a break. Just let me help.]"

I studied the precisely-cut little hotdogs and sighed. On top of being a skilled gardener, herbalist and flower arranger, Grandmother is also a skilled chef. Not just in Japanese cuisine, she's good at cooking up a wide variety of foods; from chocolate cupcakes that can satisfy even Fuyu's infamous sweet tooth to enchiladas Kaji would deem authentic.

In the time it took for me to fry the hotdogs, grandmother was already scrambling the eggs. This time, grandmother passed me the bowl and let me fry them. From the corner of my eye, I saw her pull out the tabletop tucked within the counter and set it for two.

Sigh… She shouldn't be moving around so much but for an old lady with a limp, she's still pretty quick. Paired with her insistence to do everything herself, I often find myself having to race her to my chores. Stubborn old lady, I'm supposed to be the one taking care of you, not the other way around!"

"It's alright, grandson. Just 'cause I have a limp doesn't mean I can't do anything anymore."

I stumbled at grandmother's reply but thankfully, I didn't spill the eggs I was transferring to a plate. With the eggs and hotdogs on a plate in one hand and a bowl of rice on the other, breakfast was ready.

"Ittadakimasu!"

It's pretty good. Grandmother sure knows just the right things to add to make even scrambled eggs taste fantastic. But a part of me sometimes longs for Okaa-san's slightly burnt and a little too salty versions of the scrambled eggs and her deformed attempts at making little octopus hotdogs. I shook off my nostalgia and quickly finished my breakfast. I turned to my right side to see my grandmother primly wiping her mouth with a napkin.

"You don't have to push yourself. I told you I can handle it."

Grandma slammed her hands on the table.

"I DON'T LIKE FEELING USELESS! STOP BEING STUBBORN AND LET ME HELP!"

I scooted away from my grandmother and stayed quiet. I know better than to interrupt her when she gets like this. It's best to let her calm down on her own and talk it out.

"Let me do at least this much. It's been years. There's no harm in stretching my legs a bit," as if to demonstrate, she stretched out her sandal clad foot. "This is as good as it gets. I'm used to it."

My eyes couldn't help but look down to my grandmother's left foot. Save for the faded jagged scar wrapped around her ankle, it doesn't look so bad at a glance. It can no longer bend the way it's supposed to, making it difficult for grandmother to walk. It's been seven years… She's lucky the only permanent injury to her was a limp.

When I first came to Helios City, it was during summer break. My parents received a call from the hospital. Grandmother was attacked by a burglar. We flew to Helios as soon as we can. I could still remember the day I first saw her… Laying still on the hospital bed in a patient's gown, greasy white hair splayed on her pillow, her left leg in a cast. There were so many machines attached to her such as the mask that's helping her breathe, the bag of fluids feeding her body through a thin little tube injected into her bony hand, the rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor… Otou-san comforting Okaa-san as she cried for her every day.

One week became one month. Against all odds, she woke up. Because of that, my mother insisted we stay in Helios at least until grandmother fully recovered. It took a year before we could get her out of the hospital and another two years before she could replace the wheelchair with a cane permanently. And every minute of it, grandmother was stubborn to the bone.

As aggravating as she is sometimes, I consider her as an inspiration. In time and through sheer determination, she got used to her limp and can manage just fine without any help for most things. If she can make it from the brink of death, surely a talentless nobody like me can persevere to surpass people's expectations.

"Would you look at the time. You better hurry up. School starts in fifteen minutes."

A glance at the clock made me jump out of my chair and bolt towards my room… Then I run back to gather the dishes and dump them into the dishwasher, took some leftovers and put them into a Tupperware for lunch, before dashing back to get my things for school. I said good bye to my grandmother as I rushed out the door and went on my way to school.

0-0-0-0-0

By 8am, I'm at school. I sat down on my seat on the second row, right next to my best friend Fuyu, and took a long sip from my Styrofoam cup.

Fuyu narrowed her eyes at me. "Are you okay?"

I held out one hand in a gesture to wait for me to finish my drink first. As soon as I drank it down to the very last drop, Fuyu snatched my empty cup and took a sniff. Her face wrinkled in disgust.

"You don't normally drink coffee. You always prefer tea."

"Just because I prefer tea doesn't mean I can't have coffee every once in a while!"

"Try five times in a row," Blair commented from her seat in front of me. I frowned at her with suspicion, but she just shrugged it off like she's perfectly innocent. "I can smell it from here. You must be drinking the strong stuff."

Her statement made Fuyu look even more worried.

My frown deepened. "I didn't ask for your opinion."

"Just saying," the model turned back to face the board and leaned back on her seat in a relaxed manner, no longer caring about me.

"Yeah," Kaji is giving me concerned looks from his seat next to the model. "You only drink coffee when you're cranky."

I slammed my hands on my desk. "I'M NOT CRANKY!"

Now the whole class is shooting me questioning looks. I shrank down into my seat and shot glares at my overly concerned friends.

"I'm fine! Really!"

My friends looked like they wanted to argue more but thankfully, Mr. Ross entered the room and started taking attendance. I just have to get through the day then train all night.

I can do this!

0-0-0-0-0

"What are you doing here?!" I yelled at the black cat who claims to be a hero. She smirks down at me as she dodged another thunderbolt from the akuma while carrying me bridal-style.

"Saving your Lady-butt-" she dropped me to the side and used her staff to deflect the incoming hale. "-from getting iced."

I groaned at her pun and pushed myself up, swinging my yoyo around as a shield. "I still don't think you deserve to be here."

"I'm not asking for your approval. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got an Ice Queen to dethrone."

Then Chat Noire proceeds to Cataclysm a billboard and trapped the akuma, leaving me stuck on the sidelines. Again.

Next time, I swear I'll get the akuma before Chat Noire!

0-0-0-0-0

Every Wednesday, I have Judo Club.

Fuyu was the one who introduced me to this during her martial arts phase back in 4th grade. We used to go on classes together, but Fuyu… Well, she 'quit' after a few months because she felt people kept underestimating her no matter how many practice sessions she won. The Taekwondo Club were particularly condescending. Her temper didn't help. She can't even come to watch me practice and tell me her own opinions on how I could improve. Then again, her suggestions would likely get me disqualified in an actual competition... Let's just say she's banned from all martial arts clubs for more than one reason.

But I stayed. While I know I can count on Fuyu to protect me from bullies like Damien, I didn't want to keep depending on her. I wanted to be able to protect myself. After trying out at the school's extensive selection of martial arts clubs, I discovered Judo. I was drawn in by a demonstration where the club mentor, an average sized man, managed to take down a much larger opponent. It gave me hope that even a boy like me could take down a giant like Damien with enough training. It always helped to imagine my opponent was Damien.

Like with a lot of things, I wasn't very good at it at first. But I was determined to get good at this. After five years, I'm proud to say I'm a go-kyu or a yellow belt.

Opponent after opponent, I took them down. Channeling all my frustrations from sparring with Chat Noire, I threw my fifth opponent down hard on the floor. The referee declared me the winner.

"Sanchez, you should've anticipated your opponent's move and your footwork needed to be firmer."

"Yes, sensei," my opponent said, bowing at sensei while deliberately not bowing back at me. He stomped away without another word as soon as sensei was done giving him his critique.

I'm used to this treatment. Wherever I go, there're always a few people who resent me. Whether it's because I'm best friends with the mayor's son, a teacher's pet, or the wielder of the Ladybug Miraculous… I'm used to people thinking I don't deserve to be where I'm standing.

"Excellent work, Midorikawa. But you may wanna put a little less force into your throw. Judo is not about strength but technique."

"Yes, sensei," I said with a bow.

"Keep this up and you may be the first freshman to get a black belt."

I stood up straight at the unexpected praise. "You really think so?"

"I've never trained anyone as dedicated to learning as you. You'd make a fine addition to the school's competitive team."

I've told sensei about my intention to join the school's Judo team since the beginning of Junior High. A black belt may as well be the first step to getting in as sensei only wants the best for his team. Xyril Tech provides scholarships for those who could get into any of their competitive teams. Just like with how I didn't want to depend on Fuyu to protect me, I didn't want to depend on Kaji to keep getting his father to recommend me to the school. I wanted to stay based on my own merits. I want to deserve to be here.

"I-it would be an honor, sensei."

"Just keep it up, Midorikawa," sensei said before going over to another pair to critique.

I held my head high with pride. It's always nice to be acknowledged. Yes, I'll keep improving. I'll get into the school's Judo team. I'll get my athletic scholarship. Most of all, I'll surpass Chat Noire's fighting skill. Someday, I'll show everyone!

I will do this!

0-0-0-0-0

With my desktop logged into the Ladyblog and other sites, I typed in a few more new entries of akumas from this week into my Akuma Chart. Location-wise, I still couldn't discern a pattern. All the akumas that happened are pretty spread out. Dates and times are also random, as there had been akuma attacks that happened as early as the crack of dawn and as late as two in the morning. As for frequency, there's only three this week… Which is a vast improvement compared to the first week's twelve, second week's eight, and third week's five. There's a steady decline!

Maybe Hawkmoth's getting tired keeping up the pressure… or maybe finding people to akumatize is getting harder in general.

Looking around the Ladyblog, I felt my heart swell from the overwhelmingly positive response to my superheroing. Numerous people I don't personally know are thanking me for everything I've helped them with. People praising me for all my efforts…

"Why are you crying?" a concerned Tikki asked from her perch atop a jar of cookies.

I wiped at my eyes, and sure enough, my sleeves felt wet. I can feel my face heat up in embarrassment.

"I'm just not used to this," I gestured at my desktop screen where a long string of positive comments are shown. "I'm a little overwhelmed, that's all. Nothing to worry about."

Tikki flew over to get a better look at the screen. Her little face looked pensive.

"Shizuke, getting praise for all your good deeds is nice and all, but don't get used to getting it as a reward for everything you've done. You don't do any of this for flattery."

At what Tikki said, I could almost imagine Kaji and Fuyu calling her a killjoy. While a part of me wants to agree with them, Tikki is my guide. It would serve me well to listen to her…

One time I shut her out, well, let's just say I spent the day feeling lost and by the end of it, I felt emotionally drained. Not a disaster, but it could've all been avoided if I'd listen to her from the start. She's stern but she always meant well and want what's best for me… Just like Grandma.

"I won't lose sight of what's important, I promise."

0-0-0-0-0

I stretched my sore limbs and breathed in the clean air at what used to be a dusty corner in the library. Books lined up in proper order, free of dust and molds. Wooden tables polished to a shine with matching chairs tucked on all sides. The glass windows cleaned and the curtains changed to a warm maroon with golden patterns. All in all, a job well done.

I wiped the sweat off my brow and began to pack my things when the door creaked open.

"'Sup loser?" said a voice that could've sounded so much like Kaji had my friend spoke with so much spite.

I glared at the silhouette by the door.

"Leo."

The boy stepped out of the shadows to reveal himself. Light brown skin, tall straight posture, reddish brown eyes - like his voice, he also looked a lot like Kaji. It's almost painful to watch. If he claimed to be Kaji's twin, I wouldn't blame anyone for believing him. Thankfully, his head of wavy blond hair is a blatant sign that help tell the cousins apart.

"How's library duty going?" Leo said in that fake affable tone his mother liked to use.

"I'm done," I picked up my bag and made my way towards the door… But then I heard the sound of falling books.

By an empty shelf surrounded by books on the floor, Leo smiled serenely.

"Looks like you missed a spot," he patted me on the shoulder as he passed me by. "Better clean that up before the librarian gets here."

And off went the reason why I'm dedicating at least an hour of my day every day to cleaning the library. I clenched my fist to stop myself from charging at him. That's what got me in trouble to begin with. I took deep breaths and started cleaning up the mess, one book at a time. Just one more week of this and this punishment will finally be over.

0-0-0-0-0

Because of that delay back in the library, it took me ten minutes to notice the Ladyblog has updated and there's another akuma on the loose.

Once again, it's one of those annoying fanboy akumas. One would think by now, they would've learned that their celebrity crush isn't worth getting akumatized over but time and time again, I'll find myself fighting and saving one of those obsessive fans who honestly believe they've got a chance with the celebrity of their choice. Sometimes, I just want to yell at them to take their rejection like a man and move on.

This time, the unlucky celebrity I have to rescue is Blair Crawford. She's an up and coming model from Aphrodite and she happens to be my classmate. She's also my number one suspect for Hawkmoth.

I know, crazy right? What are the odds that I'd end up in the same class as another Miraculous wielder? But the evidence is there: Her absences line up to the akuma attacks. I've seen her in the area of a lot of akuma attacks; I've even personally saved her from a couple of them. She has extensive knowledge on how the Butterfly Miraculous works; she mentioned some tid bits before Chat Noire and I told the public what we knew. Then there's that one slip up on the day we met… And how Hawkmoth once implied she lost someone too…

Sadly, all these pieces of evidence are circumstantial, as Chat Noire once put it. I needed cold hard evidence, she said. That's why I've been gathering as much information as I can about her. From magazines to social media, I looked into every tidbit I can get my hands on… Any one of them might just help me piece together the proof I need.

For now, until I can say with 100% certainty that Blair is Hawkmoth, it is my duty to rescue her like any other civilian.

I heard a high pitched scream of pain and I hastened my way towards the akuma. To my surprise, when I got there, it wasn't Blair who screamed in pain.

Writhing in pain on the curb was the akuma of the day. He was curled in on himself, his hands covering his privates. Blair was standing over him, flipped her hair as she gloated.

"Next time, just take 'no' for an answer. It'll spare you the pain," with her nose pointing up in the air, Blair walked away.

There were quite a few people who stuck around and recorded the scene. I almost pity the akuma. Among the lingering bystanders, I recognized Blair's twin brother Blake standing next to Kaji and Fuyu.

"What just happened?" I asked Kaji.

"He was trying to force Blair into dating him. But Blair kicked him…" Kaji paused, searching for the right words while twiddling with his fingers over his phone.

"Blair kicked him in the nuts," Fuyu supplied with no hesitation, looking pleased with the incident. "It was awesome."

Kaji and I both winced, involuntarily imagining the pain the akuma is going through.

"Not that he didn't deserve it," Blake's eyes hardened as he crossed his arms, having no sympathy for the akuma. "I would've done it myself but Blair beat me to it."

I let out a sigh and released my yoyo. It's time for clean up duty.

At least this time it wasn't Chat Noire who beat me to the akuma.

0-0-0-0-0

During Fridays, Fuyu and I go over to Ashworth Castle's private fencing studio to watch Kaji train.

About a week after Hawkmoth started making akumas, Kaji's father noticed his tendency to chase after akumas. The mayor tried to forbid Kaji but as usual, Kaji didn't listen. Then he tried to get Kaji a bodyguard… but that didn't work. Kaji kept finding ways to slip through them. Two weeks later, he gave up and decided to entrust his safety to the only one who can keep up with Kaji – which is Fuyu. Fuyu preened like a peacock when Kaji's father had to admit this to her face. But he wasn't content with just entrusting his son's safety to Fuyu.

Kaji, clad in full fencing gear, just barely sidestepped the thrust of a shining silver foil before he retaliated with his own against his opponent.

"Good recovery," the fencer in the customized red fencing gear said, her voice light and full of pride. "And your agility is in top form."

"Well, thank you," Kaji said. I can imagine him grinning behind his mask. "I had a lot of practice."

Kaji's father wanted him to learn self-defense. Coming from a family of fencers, Kaji had some experience with fencing. In fact, he had a talent for it. He just never took to it the way almost everyone else in his family did. He always treated it like a hobby or a casual exercise to do once a week. Now Kaji's father wants him to take his training more seriously every day. With Kaji's teen rebellion phase at its peak, Kaji didn't attend every day like his father would've wanted. I barely just managed to get him to attend every week instead of skipping it altogether to further spite his father – which is why I'm here, after Fuyu and I dragged him to his family's personal sparring arena.

The red fencer let out a frenzy of thrusts that put Kaji on the defensive. Kaji dodged and parried as many attacks as he can but he was eventually overwhelmed. He fell to the floor, breathing heavily. He threw his mask to the side and frowned at the victor.

"I thought you said you'd go easy on me, Octavia," Kaji huffed.

The winning fencer removed her mask to reveal long brown locks that curl up on the ends. She combed through her hair, pushing them away from her light brown face, a little pinkish from the spar. Her reddish brown eyes peered at my fallen friend with sympathy.

Her name is Octavia Eleanor Aurelio-Ashworth, Kaji's elder sister by three years. She's on her last year in high school and is the captain of the school's fencing team. Beautiful, smart, and athletic, Octavia is the golden child of the family.

"Sorry," she said as she put aside her sword and helped Kaji up. "It's just… With all the dangerous akuma you were able to dodge, I thought dodging my attacks would've been child's play for you."

Kaji pouted at his sister. "No need to get passive-aggressive with me. You know you can just tell me what you really meant to say."

Octavia's demeanor hardened as she folded her arms over her chest. "And if I tell you to stop chasing akumas, would you listen?"

"Point taken," Kaji picked up his mask. "Well, it was nice sparring with you. See you around, sister."

Before he can leave the strip, Octavia called after him and it made him stop. Kaji turned to his sister with a resigned look on his face. Like every other member of Kaji's family, Octavia tried to reason with Kaji to stop filming for the Ladyblog. As always, Kaji never listened. Like a moth to a flame, Kaji kept pursuing akumas for answers they're in no position to give him. Not even Ladybug and Chat Noire's interviews can appease him.

"You can't just tell me to drop it. The city needs this!"

"That's not what I'm telling you to do," Octavia huffed in frustration. "I'm just saying you could still do it from a safer distance. Try being ten meters away from the akuma's range."

"It's just not the same. People need to see what's going on!"

"There are plenty of professionals who can do that for you. Why not use them?"

"This is my advocacy, my responsibility. It has to be me!"

By my side on the bleachers, Fuyu is grumbling. "Here we go again with his atonement complex."

I nodded in agreement, afraid my voice would give away how I really felt about this situation. I gripped my bag on my lap just a little bit tighter.

Kaji is one of my best friends. Of course I care about his safety. But while I would rather he stopped going anywhere near akumas, I can understand where he's coming from. Doing what he can to right some wrongs, fixing what he can cause it's a responsibility he felt he had to pick up… His heart is in the right place. We just wish that place doesn't always end up within an akuma's line of fire.

Kaji made his way over to our row and collapsed on the empty seat next to me. I offered him a bottle of water, which he took with a mumbled 'thank you'.

Back down at the strip, Octavia was frowning at Kaji, which Kaji wilfully ignored. At exactly 5pm, a young man with bleached blond hair came to pick her up for her last extracurricular for the day. Just like Kaji, Octavia was also assigned her own bodyguard – she just never shook him off like Kaji tended to do with his. It helps that he's her boyfriend.

As soon as Octavia had her back turned on us, Kaji made 'I am watching you' gestures at Octavia's bodyguard. Kaji never approved of that young man. He already broke Kaji's trust once. Before the bleached haired man could point this out to Octavia, Kaji took one long swig of his water bottle to pretend he wasn't doing anything.

Once Octavia and her bodyguard left the room, Kaji's mood quickly brightened. "So, now that that's over with, where do you guys wanna hang out?"

"I'm sorry, I can't come tonight. There's something I need to do…"

There's patrol and training and civilians to protect and…

"Again?" there's a sharp edge to Fuyu's voice when she said that one word.

I could only nod and say, "It's important, I-"

"But today is Friday Game Night," Kaji said, his hold on my wrist is like a silent plead. "Can't you put it off? We haven't hung out since…"

"I can't," I averted my gaze from his kicked puppy look. I pulled my wrist out of his hold and tried to leave when Fuyu blocked my way.

Even at barely five feet tall, Fuyu can be as imposing as a giant. "What's so important that you can't put it off for tonight? You'll have the whole weekend to do it."

"I can't put it off!"

"This important thing you're doing, didn't you already do this yesterday? And the day before that?" Fuyu's eyes narrowed. She looks tough but there's something so fragile about her voice when she asked, "When will it end?"

I wish I can tell you. You're the reasons I took my first steps as a hero. The two of you deserve to know more than anyone in this city but…

"I'm sorry. I have to go."

I need to do this.

0-0-0-0-0

Days drag on and Chat Noire continued to outdo me. Whenever an akuma shows up, she either resolves it before I could get there, or she'll swoop in after I wore down the akuma and finish the fight. And that's about the only time I ever see her. She doesn't patrol, nor does she save anyone from a non-akuma related threat… And she had the nerve to gloat about how she's a much better hero than me!

"Hey, Ladybug. How's solo patrol going for ya?~" the ever smug cat sneered, leaning on her staff like a cane.

I ignored her and called out my Lucky Charm. Before the object could fall into my hands, Chat Noire batted away the akuma's cosmetic-based projectiles.

"Think the akuma would give you a good concealer after you purify her? You look like you desperately need one."

Resist. Urge. To throw Lucky Charm at Chat Noire's head!"

Chat Noire shot me an annoyed look.

"I said that out loud, didn't I?"

"Whatever, weirdo," Chat Noire ran ahead to stop the akuma.

At this point, I don't care what she thinks anymore.

0-0-0-0-0

Cleaning my room is the one chore my grandmother doesn't try to take from me. I'm not a messy person so keeping my room passably clean doesn't take much time. I lay on my bed as soon as I was done, only to look up and see the one glaring thing I taped up my ceiling.

It was a poster of me and Chat Noire standing side by side as the heroes of the city. Kaji requested us to pose for that to spread word of the city's new protectors. It helped build trust, Chat Noire once said. Knowing us by face would give us a more heroic impression in contrast to a certain villainess lurking in the shadows.

"Are you going to take that down?" Tikki asked.

Why would I want to keep that poster up? We're not partners anymore. And yet, my body felt heavy. I couldn't lift a hand to do something as simple as tearing it down…

"Maybe tomorrow," I grumbled, turning to my side so I don't have to look at that prideful cat smirking down at me from the poster. "I'm too tired right now."

… I never got around to taking down that poster. If Tikki noticed, she made no comment on it.

0-0-0-0-0

Whenever akuma attacks happen near school, class is always dismissed until the akuma is taken care of. Thanks to that, I managed to maintain my perfect attendance on a technicality – they can't mark me late or absent if class is officially dismissed. But because of this, the school board decided to make us attend classes on Saturdays just to keep up. Between the akuma attacks and the occasional students taking advantage of akuma attacks to skip school, it took a month for the class to fully assemble and for Mr. Ross to officially start our long overdue class election.

Mr. Ross stared at me with comprehension, before looking back at the rest of the class like he's begging someone - anyone - to try to stop me. Nobody did. My teacher sighed to himself like he's dismayed.

"Fine. For this year, Shizuke will be our class president."

For five years in a row, I'm the class president. I never had any competition for it, I'm the only one who'd volunteer for it. Nobody else wants the extra duties that come with the position. As for my deputy…

"Now for the deputy officer… Any volunteers?"

Mr. Ross was met with silence. Just like the class president position, no one else wants the extra duties. Not even Kaji and Fuyu would volunteer for me, not that I mind. If they can respect that I wanted to be class president for extra credit, then I can respect them not taking on the extra duties of a deputy for extra credits they don't want. With the Ladyblog occupying his attention, Kaji is even more determined to dodge any extra duties so he can dedicate as much time as he had to it. Fuyu was quick to follow to make sure he doesn't get himself hurt.

A girl with brown hair styled in a bob raised her hand.

"Melanie?"

With her name called, the girl stood up and said in a stoic voice, "If it's alright, I would like to be the deputy officer for this year."

Mr. Ross looked around the classroom. Seeing no objections, Mr. Ross declared Melanie the new deputy officer, much to my relief. Now there's a girl I can work with. Unlike Chat Noire, she takes her duties seriously.

"Okay," Mr. Ross said with a sigh. "Now that that's settled, you can now go on to your next class."

When the bell rang and my classmates filed out. He's been giving me concerned look the whole time. Growing up in Helios with my teacher's fiance's nephew as my best friend, it made Mr. Ross sort of like an uncle to me. It's not unusual for Mr. Ross to show concern over my well being. But usually, when I get assigned as the class president, he's a lot more supportive.

"I won't let you down, sir," I told him before I went to follow the rest of my classmates.

"... Just try not to collapse while doing it."

I couldn't stop myself from frowning at Mr. Ross's comment. That made me turn back to my teacher. On my first day in Xyril Tech, he was the first person to ever stand up for me. Ever since then, I've always looked up to him. His approval means a lot to me, and I always strive to earn it. I know he only said what he said out of concern, but it still stung.

"Sir, I've been doing this for five years in a row. I can handle it."

Mr. Ross raised his hands in surrender. "Not that I doubt you could but… Are you doing okay?"

"I'm doing-" I held back a yawn. "I'm doing great."

"My self-proclaimed nephew told me otherwise. He's worried about you. I can see why," Mr. Ross pointedly said, got up from his desk and approached me. In his gentlest borderline familial voice, he asked, "Is there something wrong?"

When I didn't give him a reply, Mr. Ross continued to try to gently coax me into confiding in him.

"In between your studies, helping out your grandmother, Judo club activities… You seem more tired and stressed lately. And now you're taking up your class president duties again. Everyone's worried that you've bitten off more than you can chew just so you can keep your scholarship. Don't you think you're a little too young to be overworking yourself like this?"

Well Mr. Ross, I doubt my age was a factor for whoever gave me the Ladybug Earrings.

"I'll adapt sir. I just need time."

Just like all my other commitments, I'm going to adapt to my new superhero duties. I'll get better eventually.

"Look Shizuke, I know how it feels to take on so much responsibility and wanting to prove yourself. Trust me, I've been there… If you need help, just know you can talk to me about it."

My hand went over to my wrist where I'm wearing one of the Ladybug earrings as a cufflink. I shook my head. "I don't think you'd understand…"

Unlike him, I'm a Miraculous wielder. I was chosen to be Ladybug. This isn't just about proving my worth. I'm a superhero now. I can't afford to fail people. This is my responsibility.

"Shizu-"

"But thank you for your concern Mr. Ross," I cut him off. "This is just an adjustment phase. I know I can get over it eventually. You don't have to worry. Goodbye."

… I have to do this.

0-0-0-0-0

At the top of Xyril Tech's clock tower, I watched over the school. The autumn sky was blue, the birds were chirping… Everything was peaceful.

In a blink of an eye, everything burned.

Fire spread until it circled the school grounds. Many lush gardens burnt down leaving nothing but ashes. The Junior High School department's pristine white buildings were covered in soot and flames. A beastly roar echoed around me.

Below the clock tower were Kaji and Fuyu. Kaji was screaming as fire swallowed him. Fuyu was looking on in fear. She ran towards him, trying to help. He reached out for her… but she caught fire too.

I just stood there paralyzed, unable to save anyone.

"The people have suffered enough because of you!"

Her voice rang in my ear.

"Give me the Miraculous, the Ladybug Earrings and the Black Cat Ring, and I promise everything will go back to normal!"

My hands moved against my will, removing the Miraculous I wear as cufflinks…

"SHIZUKE! WAKE UP!"

My heart hammered through my chest. I forced myself up. I have to move… I have to… but my hands are shaking.

"Calm down and breathe with me. Inhale. Exhale," said a commanding voice.

I breathed with the rhythm the voice set until my heartbeat steadied and my vision cleared. My eyes opened and I saw I was no longer at my school. Instead of open skies and burning buildings, I was surrounded by four mint green walls and my grandmother's worried face.

"Grandma…?" I rasped.

The air left my lungs when my grandmother crushed me in a hug. Feeling her here helped me find myself in the present.

"Everything's okay, Shizuke. It was all a bad dream."

Unable to find my voice, I nodded. Yeah. It was all just a dream. Things ended differently. Nobody died that day.

Grandma released me from her embrace, taking all her warmth and comfort with her. She looked at me with sad brown eyes.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

For one moment, it felt like I was a kid again, running to my grandmother for every bad dream. She'd comfort me the best she could and I'd feel safe in her arms until I finally fall asleep. For one moment, I wish I could be a kid again.

"No," I placed my clammy hands on my lap and took a deep breath. I need to look calm. "I'm fine."

Grandmother didn't look like she believed me, but she nodded.

"Alright. Get some rest," before closing the door, she peeked into my room one last time and said, "If you need me, don't hesitate to knock."

As soon as she closed the door, Tikki came out from behind my headboard. She didn't say a word as she snuggled at the crook of my neck. It's not the same as grandmother's hugs, but knowing she's here puts me at ease.

It's just a nightmare. Things didn't happen that way. My friends are safe. I didn't give up.

It's gonna be a long night. Whatever's left of it anyway. Looking over at my alarm clock, I groaned when I saw the time.

2:37am

I'll remember to prepare extra strong black coffee later.

0-0-0-0-0

"{[SHIZU-KUN! IT'S BEEN SO LONG! HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?!]}"

I winced at the volume, but I'm not even tempted to turn it down. I missed hearing this voice.

"[Hello Okaa-san, Otou-san. I'm doing alright, thanks.]"

Sunday mornings are when my parents are free to call me.

The woman on the screen, my mother, frowned. Her brown eyes were looking at me intently. "{[Are you sure, Shizu-kun? Have you been sleeping well? Eating well?]}"

"[… I'm just a little busy lately. That's all. I have to work hard for that scholarship.]"

"{[Are you sure you're not getting bothered by the akuma?]}" the blue haired man, my father, said as he squeezed his way to fit into the screen. As straightforward as ever.

"[I'm fine. Really. They're not that disruptive at my part of the city.]"

From the doubtful looks on their faces, I can tell my parents didn't believe me. They probably see my friends on the news every day.

"{[You can always return home. It shouldn't be too hard to have you transferred to another school here]}" Otou-san suggested. "{[Xyril Tech is a reputable school. There's no shame in leaving it due to akuma attacks. I'm sure several schools will be willing to accept you.]}"

"{[Yeah, I'm sure your grandparents here would love to have you around again. They miss you]}" Okaa-san added. "{[We miss you.]}"

"[I miss you too…]"

It would've been so easy to just say yes… To go back to Japan where I can see my parents every day. Where I don't have to work at grandma's flower shop. Where I don't have to strive so hard to prove I deserve my slot in the school. Where I don't have to fight akumas almost everyday with this selfish arrogant cat girl.

"[But I love it here.]"

As much as I miss Kyoto, Helios is my home too.

"[All my friends are here, and Grandma still needs me.]"

The people that matter most to me – the people who were always there for me – are all here.

"[I can't just leave her alone now that there are akumas attacking the city. I'm needed here now more than ever.]"

And most importantly, being Ladybug is a responsibility I can't just abandon.

"[Ladybug will keep us safe. Please believe in him.]"

"{[O-okay. If you're sure]}" my mother looked crestfallen as I told her my decision to stay. "{[Just… Just be safe, Shizu-kun.]}"

"[I will.]"

As hard as it is to stay, leaving everything I have here is harder. I'll do whatever I can to prove I deserve to stay here. That choosing me to be Ladybug wasn't a mistake.

… That I'm good enough to be worthy.

I'll fight anyone who tries to take it away from me.

0-0-0-0-0