CHAPTER 23: HOW TO BE A HEARTBREAKER
Boys they like the look of danger.
We'll get him falling for a stranger.
A player, singing I lo-lo-love you.
At least I think I do.
-Marina and the Diamonds
Chat Noire
It's amazing how looking at things from a different angle can dramatically change how you see things. Goals would suddenly look more achievable now that you're seeing the weak spots you can exploit.
Take my partner for example. Ladybug is a force to be reckoned with. Protective and cautious, there's not a lot that could pry him away from whoever he decided he should protect. As long as he's around, he won't let Dark Venus fall for any traps if he could help it.
I could exploit that.
"Yoohoo! Venus! Bugsy! Looking for me?~"
Step One of my plan is to make an obvious trap. If he knows me half as well as I know him, he should know I've set up a trap by now. Making no attempt to hide it will give him the impression of confidence on my side. Being the selfless gentlebug that he is, he'll err on the side of caution and scout ahead so Dark Venus wouldn't fall into a trap with him. Too bad for him, he's the one I was targeting all along.
"How do you like Grand Chariot Hotel's new security system? The Iron Shellter, especially designed to keep even super-powered teenagers out-"
"Or trap them in... You wanted to separate us!"
"Well spotted, bug. You cat-ch on fast.~"
"Not fast enough."
"It's alright, Bugsy."
Step Two is to make him believe he's in a tighter spot than he really is. Prey on his doubts by throwing him in the dark - both literally and figuratively. Separated from Dark Venus, not knowing what's happening to her as Blake is out there making a ruckus with her; it's a recipe for anxiety. Smashing the security system's remote will add fuel to the tension. Ladybug should be desperate to get out. I did what I could to crank up the pressure.
"You still got one way out."
Dangle a crumb of hope in front of him and an enemy to overcome. The glowing exit sign, my eyes… They'll be all he sees.
"It'll all be over soon."
As expected, Ladybug bolted towards the EXIT sign, only to run face-first into a wall.
"How do you like my redecorating? I thought that wall was looking a tad empty without a glowing 'EXIT' sign.~"
With my nightvision, I could see his shoulders tensing, fists tightening as he pushed himself off the wall.
"Tell me where the exit is!" Ladybug charged at me with a battle cry.
Dodging him was a simple matter of taking a sidestep away from his path.
"Not so tough in the dark, are you?"
Ladybug doesn't have night vision like I do. Even someone as skilled as him will struggle with a handicap.
"Is it too much to ask a fair fight from you?!"
"Says the guy with years of martial arts training under his belt. I'm just leveling the playing field.~"
Taking full advantage of the dark, I kept Ladybug down with hit-and-run maneuvers. Tripping him, low sweeps, verbal jabs - all attacks are meant to contribute to his growing frustration. I haven't taunted the bug like this since all the way back in October. It leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, but I need to agitate him as much as I can. It's all building up for the next step…
I pressed a button on my wireless earbud and whispered, "Get ready."
"Lucky Charm!"
Step Three: Knock the Lucky Charm out of Ladybug's hands with my baton and make it fly towards Damien's waiting hands.
I instructed Damien to hide out on the roof deck, ready to move when I tell him to. I was careful to herd Ladybug near Damien's hiding place so I can knock the Lucky Charm near Damien, keeping his fumbling in the dark to a minimum. The flash of pink that comes with Ladybug's special move should make it easier for Damien to find him.
Now with the Lucky Charm in Damien's possession, all he has to do now is to run as fast as he can to the exit. Ladybug's sure to hear the door slam behind Damien and can now guess where it is. With a general direction to follow, Ladybug will push even harder to get out of here. No amount of tripping is gonna stop him.
This is where things get tricky. I have to stall Ladybug for the next five minutes. The next five minutes is where this plan could diverge into two options:
Option number one: Wait it out. It's a good thing I got Ladybug alone in the dark dome. If Ladybug detransforms, I could just close my eyes. Without the boost from his Miraculous, I should have no problem holding back Ladybug. I hope Dark Venus' powers didn't get Tikki too. Aaand that Tikki has a way to purify akumas and use the miraculous cure without Ladybug.
Or, option number two: We take the mystery time pressure route where Lucky Charm magically bails us out within the next five minutes. If there's enough time left, we could also stop Dark Venus.
Failing at the above, there's option number three: Wear down Dark Venus by myself, break her item and Cataclysm the butterfly. Yeah, I don't like this. It's brutal with too many openings for us to screw up. I'd rather keep it as a last resort.
It all hinges on Damien figuring out the Lucky Charm in time. I hope he's better at figuring it out than I am.
Half a minute in, Damien called.
"{The Lucky Charm… It's a hard-bound book of fairy tales.}"
0-0-0-0-0
Ladybug
Separating me from Dark Venus, fighting in the dark with her night vision, having an accomplice ready to steal my Lucky Charm… Chat Noire has thoroughly thought this out. I shouldn't expect any less from her - no. I have to stomp down this feeling - Respect? Pride? Amazement? Whatever. It doesn't matter. My heart beats only for Dark Venus!
She made it this far, but she's bound to run out of ideas soon. Her accomplice's escape gave away where the real exit should be. I have less than five minutes to get out of here - I have to fight even harder!
While the dark may help Chat Noire hide her next move, I still have my other senses. I just have to trust them more. My yoyo is tucked away into my holster. It won't get much use in the dark. I have to fall back into relying solely on my Judo skills. Gradually, I was gaining confidence in moving without my sight. A counter attack is forming in my head and I let it play out.
I allowed Chat Noire to get one more hit in to get within my range before I caught her by the wrists. We were stuck in a lock. Chat Noire makes an attempt to sweep me by the leg, but my stance held firm. I did the same to her, shifting my weight forward to push her back. Now I have her pinned to the floor.
It was an easy win!
… Too easy.
That's when I realized she had her palm flat on the floor.
"Cataclysm!"
It all happened quickly.
The floor broke apart underneath us. Chat Noire wrapped her legs around my waist and made full use of the fall's momentum to roll us on the carpet floor until she ended up on top of me with both her hands over my wrists.
Then she crashed her lips over mine.
0-0-0-0-0
Chat Noire
This is all Damien's fault.
When I pinned all my hopes on the Lucky Charm, I was hoping for instructions on how to get Ladybug back. Well, I got what I wanted. Too bad it came in the form of a book that oh-so-subtly ships LadyNoire.
"{It's not exactly you and Ladybug…}" Damien explained while I dodged Ladybug grabbing at me. The bug is starting to adjust to the dark. "{But here in this picture, Snow White's in a red dress with black spots while her prince has cat ears and wore an all-black suit. That has to mean something, don't you think?}"
I scoffed, a non-verbal cue I don't believe him. Can't let Ladybug in on our conversation now, can we?
"{It's not just Snow White. Frog Prince, Sleeping Beauty, the Little Mermaid - not the Hans Christian Andersen version. Natalia always preferred the Disney version. Anyway, there's a pattern with the imagery. All the cursed characters are dressed like Ladybug. All characters that break the curse with a kiss are dressed like you. She loves stories with romance and happily ever afters. It makes sense that True Love's Kiss would be the cure for her love spell!}"
Ugh... Monsieur Ladyblogger would have a field day when he hears about this. Had it been him or Blake to suggest this, I would've thought they were messing with me. LadyNoire shippers, am I right?
But it's Damien who's telling me this. He knows Natalia better than anyone. He's not messing around. He's legit. This could very well be what'll free Ladybug from Dark Venus' spell.
And that's how I ended up here, locking lips with Ladybug.
Considering my career as a model, this wouldn't be the first time I've kissed a boy. I just have to press my lips against another's. No big deal. It's all done for the sole purpose of giving others the illusion of romance. There's nothing magical about it.
But kissing Ladybug, it felt different. He isn't just another guy I work with. I'm not doing this for money or fame. This is so much more personal than a job.
I just wanted my partner back.
Please let it be enough to count as love.
When I pulled back, he still had his eyes closed. I propped him up to a sitting position, sitting by him in anticipation as he slowly opened his eyes.
Warm chocolate brown eyes stared back at me.
"C-C-Cat?" Ladybug's voice cracked at the last syllable, face growing redder by the second.
The sight made me smile in relief and I hugged him on impulse.
"Welcome back, Bugsy!"
0-0-0-0-0
Ladybug
Waking up to Chat Noire hugging the ever loving life out of me is an experience I would've been more than happy to savor had my Miraculous not beeped so urgently.
"Two minutes left," Chat Noire immediately jumped off of me. "We need to go!"
I said nothing as she pulled me up and dragged me onto a wide balcony. I'm feeling a bit disoriented. This place looks vaguely familiar. How did I get here?
The door behind us swung open and Damien bursts in, holding this huge hard-bound book that was red with black spots. A Lucky Charm? That explains why I'm on a time limit, but why does he have it? Damien was tense as he positioned himself so Chat Noire stood between us.
"Is he cured?" he asked, peering over Chat Noire to shoot me a wary look.
"Yup," Chat Noire told him with a thumbs up. "Good job figuring it out."
Screams of pain stole my attention from Damien. Hovering up in the sky was Dark Venus. With every flap of her wings, feathers were falling off. In a mechanical motion, she pulled out an arrow - different from all the other arrows in her quiver - and nocked it onto her bow.
The arrow, unlike all the others, is meant to inflict the pain of a heartbreak.
The target below is a certain red haired model boy, taunting the akuma like I've never imagined him capable of.
There were crackles of purple energy all over her. Hurting her into submission. Controlling her like a puppet.
This is the second time this happened to her. She doesn't deserve to be treated like this!
"We have to stop this!"
0-0-0-0-0
Chat Noire
"But you're running out of time," Damien pointed out.
"Then I'll just have to be quick!" Ladybug grabbed the Lucky Charm from Damien.
What he wants to do next is simple enough to predict. I positioned myself at the end of the balcony, fingers laced together in front of me like a makeshift step.
"Need a boost?"
With a nod, Ladybug went to the opposite end of the balcony and gave himself a running start. He stepped over my hands and I sprung him up like a catapult.
It's all up to Ladybug now.
Dark Venus must've heard us as she turned around and tried to shoot Ladybug. Using the Lucky Charm as a shield, he caught the arrow in its hard-bound surface and continued to ascend.
Right as he ran out of momentum, he threw his Lucky Charm at Dark Venus' wrist, knocking away her arrow before she could fire another arrow at him.
"Oh shit!" Dark Venus hissed in pain, holding her broken wrist.
With her weapon gone, retreat was her only option. But her molting wings weren't as fast as they were before. That's when Ladybug lassoed his yoyo around her to trap her wings, dragging her down with him.
In one swift motion, Ladybug pulled Dark Venus towards him, yanked off her headband and snapped it in two with his bare hand. A corrupted purple butterfly fluttered away. Working fast, Ladybug untangled Dark Venus from his yoyo while keeping an arm wrapped around her, caught the akuma, and swung them down to safety.
Dark Venus' form was engulfed in purple smoke that quickly ebbed away to reveal Natalia - who would've fell over on the curb had Ladybug not caught her. He gently guided her to sit by a mailbox. She's looking a little worse for wear, but I'm sure she'll be fine now that she's no longer under Hawkmoth's control.
Ladybug picked up his discarded Lucky Charm and tossed it into the air.
"Miraculous Ladybug!"
It's all over now.
0-0-0-0-0
With Damien in tow, I slid down the balcony on my pole. Once we were on the ground I went over to Ladybug and offered him my fist.
"Pound it!"
Ladybug jumped away from me, his face turning as red as my hair. Before I could say anything, he started rambling.
"Oh right! Fist bumps! That thing we do after we beat each akuma. Yeah," Ladybug scrambled in place before attempting a fist bump, missing twice before nailing it. His eyes were pointedly avoiding me. "Pound it."
Why is he being so awkward now? No way. He remembers the kiss! Is he upset about it? Why would he? Dread clawed up my chest as I asked…
"That was your first kiss, wasn't it?"
The way his whole body cringed says it all. Great. Mrs. Liung told me most teens my age consider their first kiss to be sacred! Ladybug totally seems like the sort who'd make a big deal about it. While I don't regret doing it to snap him back to normal, it was still important to Ladybug. He didn't even got to have a say in it. Whether it's on the job or between lovers, consent is something that should always be respected when it comes to kissing.
"About that kiss-"
'Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!' went his Miraculous. He has less than a minute left.
"I better go. Bye!"
Ladybug threw his yoyo at a building and was one tug away from swinging off when I told him, "Wait!"
He paused, but didn't turn to look at me. I've made him uncomfortable, didn't I?
"We'll still meet for patrol later, right?"
A hurried nod was all I got before he swung away.
Maybe he needs some time alone to absorb what happened? I hope he shows up to patrol so I can explain things. Smooth things over.
For now, I have to make sure Natalia is okay. Sure, Ladybug purified her akuma and his miraculous cure should've healed whatever injuries she had as Dark Venus, but I have to see for myself she's alright. Even from afar, I could tell Hawkmoth hurt her.
Damien and Blake had the same idea as they were also approaching Natalia. The blonde was in a daze. She leaned on the mailbox for support as she slowly got up from the curb. She seems exhausted. Otherwise, she's perfectly fine. That's a relief. The minute her eyes landed on us, it's like the fog cleared up for her only to be replaced by rain.
Oh crud. She's crying! I looked to Blake for help. He's always been better than me at comforting people. Especially Natalia. He should know what to do… Except he looks back at me like he's helpless.
Natalia ignored us and ran straight towards Damien, crying into his shirt. Damien wrapped his arms around her, soothing her.
"You okay with this?" I asked Blake, tilting my head towards the hugging besties.
While Damien and Natalia once told us with straight faces that they don't like each other that way, that doesn't mean their feelings can't change. Friends to lovers is a route that always made the most sense to me.
Blake gazed at the pair as they made their way into the hotel. Not with jealousy… More like regret. Like he already missed his shot. Again.
"Natalia needs a friend who'd always be there for her," Blake bit his lip in an effort to keep his face neutral. "I'm not that person."
Before I could say anything to debunk him, my Miraculous beeped.
"You better get going," Blake said with a smirk. A mask to hide his sulky mood. "Wouldn't wanna let the cat out of the bag now, would we?"
There he goes again, giving people convenient excuses to leave so he can find somewhere to sulk alone. As much as I want to stay here and argue with him before he could hide away, I really do have to go. But I still got enough time to do one more thing.
"Bien jouei," I offered him my fist.
Blake only stared at it. "But I didn't do much."
"I would've joined Dark Venus' harem if it weren't for you. Thanks to you, we were able to save the girl," I offered him a confident smile. "You're a hero too."
"So cheesy, but whatever," Blake rolled his eyes but bumped my fist anyway.
I bid him adieu and vaulted away.
My transformation dropped once I landed in an empty alleyway. I held out a hand to catch Plagg as he zoomed out of my ring. He was lying belly-side up with one of his nubs across his face in an overly dramatic distressed pose.
"Two Cataclysms in one day? My energy is completely sapped!"
I flung a slice of Camembert in the air, which he caught like a bouncy seal in a circus.
"Energy completely sapped, eh?"
"For your information, Camembert has healing properties so potent, a whiff of it can temporarily revitalize me."
I rolled my eyes at his blatant lie. "Good thing there's plenty more where that came from."
While Plagg was busy feasting, I texted Blake. We chatted for a bit. He accepted my half-baked excuses on where I was. He must be really out of it to not question me further. When I asked him if he wants to continue our twins day out, he bailed. Said he'd be out for a little longer. Alone. He needs his daily alone-time now.
Well, that answers that. He'll be harder to find in the city than at school. I could try to look for him, but honestly, I could use some alone time myself. I'm not in the mood to lie to him, pretending I haven't just gone through a series of stressful events.
Today was quite a day. Natalia got dumped and subsequently akumatized. Fighting a brainwashed Ladybug. Teaming up with Blake and later, Damien. Kissing Ladybug, making things weird between us. Hopefully, we can fix things during patrol tonight.
I can't wait for this day to be over.
0-0-0-0-0
Shizuke
After a second transformation, I snuck back into my apartment. I went downstairs to apologize to my grandmother for missing the morning rush. She waved me off before I could give her any excuses.
"You didn't miss much," she said. "The akuma attack slowed down business. Now that it's over, it should pick up soon. Get your apron and thorn stripper gloves ready. You're on thorn duty."
De-thorning roses is one of the easiest tasks around the flower shop. Just put on those thick padded gloves with the palms designed to act like a thorn stripper, pick a rose or two, and run my gloved hands down to get rid of the unwanted leaves and thorns. Do the same for the next hundred or so roses. Tedious but simple. I could do it in my sleep.
Work at the flower shop was hectic in a calming sort of way. Nothing out of the ordinary going on here. Just a normal - albeit busier than usual - day.
No cupid-based akumas making me turn to the dark side.
No shy classmates showing off their sassier sides to rile me up.
No girls in leather cat suits sitting on top of me.
Smiling at me.
Kissing me…
"Shizuke!"
Grandma grabbed me by the arm to stop me, scowling at my work.
It turns out the half dozen roses I was working on were held upside down. And I ran my thorn stripper gloves down. Instead of shaving off the thorns, I tore off the petals.
My face heated up in embarrassment. Grandma rubbed her temple.
"If you're gonna waste flowers with your daydreaming, then you're better off not helping for today."
"But-"
"No 'buts'! Go to your room! You're grounded!"
My grandmother shooed me off. I surrendered my gloves to her and went up to our apartment. The three part-timers were snickering at my blunder, but a quick barking of orders from grandmother got them back to focusing on work.
"I didn't hire you to laugh at my grandson! Get back to work!"
Thanks, Grandma.
While I feel bad for not helping out, I can't promise I won't make the same mistakes for the rest of the day with how jumbled my mind is.
My feelings and actions were influenced by Dark Venus' arrow for the better part of this morning. Under her control, my memories were foggy. I don't remember caring for anyone other than Dark Venus. It was like a dream - you don't know why you're doing things, you only know you must do it.
Then I woke up. The fog is still there, but it's clear enough for me to remember what I'm supposed to be doing. After casting Miraculous Ladybug, the swarm came over me and returned all my memories in one chaotic swoop. It was horrifying to learn the lengths I'd go through for someone I love. Granted, I was under the effects of Dark Venus' arrow and Hawkmoth did essentially took Dark Venus hostage…
"I'm not normally that bad, am I?"
"No. But you're getting there," Tikki said sternly, just loudly enough for me to hear.
That jolted me from my trance. Right. We need to talk. Quickly, I ran into my room. Tikki flew out of my jacket pocket after I locked the door behind me. She was staring me down with her nubs crossed.
"You shouldn't have taken the hit for Chat Noire."
"I didn't mean to. I was trying to get us both out of the way, but…"
"Dark Venus was faster. You should've anticipated that!"
"Next time, I'll be more careful. I promise."
"You can't be that reckless when protecting others! Between you and Chat Noire, you're the less expendable one! We can't afford to lose you!"
I know today's dilemma was my fault, but what Tikki said had implications that made my blood boil.
"Because she can't purify akumas. She can't cast Miraculous Ladybug. She can't do it alone. I've heard it all before. Yet she doesn't let that stop her from saving the day. She's as important as I am! We can't afford to lose her either!"
Tikki's stern countenance melted into solemn understanding.
"Sorry. I know it's a bitter pill to swallow, but it's the truth. You were given the power to reverse all the damage. If it comes down to it, it needs to be you who's left standing at the end."
All the fight in me gave away now that I'm faced with cold hard reason. I slumped against the door, sliding down until I was sitting on the floor with my hands rubbing my face.
"Even Chat Noire acknowledges it," Tikki said as gently as she can.
It's why she'd take a hit for me. Thankfully, Chat Noire is crafty enough to avoid most situations where she has to make the sacrifice. It's not often she does. But there are still times when we're pushed into a corner and one of us had to go down to give the other the break they need… Chat Noire would often make that hard split-second decision before I could stop her.
"It shouldn't be that way," I said.
Tikki perched herself over my shoulder and nuzzled me by the cheek.
"I know. But you have to trust her more to have your back."
"I do trust her, Tikki. That's not the problem," I hugged my knees closer to me and sunk into my arms. "I don't want her getting hurt protecting me every time I stumble. I want to be someone she could count on too."
"She does count on you."
"Yeah, someone has to purify the akumas and fix everything."
"You remember what she said about you back when she was split? She acknowledged how much you've improved over the past months. She believes in you."
My mind took me back on my last encounter with Chat Noire as Shizuke. It's regretful she can only be that open with me when she's under an akuma's power, but that's all the more reason to believe her when she called Ladybug, me, a hero.
"Thanks, Tikki," I uncurled myself so I can properly look at my kwami. "You always know the right thing to say."
Tikki hummed. "It comes with practice."
"Though, I'd still rather not have Chat Noire taking hits for me if I can help it."
"I'm fine with you wanting her safe, but you have to be more careful not to sacrifice yourself in the process. Hawkmoth was so close to winning today!"
I looked to the side. "I know."
"We were lucky Chat Noire found a way to break Dark Venus' spell over you."
My face instantly heated up at the reminder.
"Tikki, Chat Noire brought me back with a kiss…"
I touched my lips, the phantom feeling of her lips over mine sent a wave of wonderful jolts crashing down on me.
"Do you know what this means?!"
I hopped up from my place on the floor, not waiting for Tikki to answer because I know what I'm talking about. It's in all the fairy tales and romantic fantasy movies I've watched growing up.
"TRUE LOVE'S KISS!"
A quick search around my room got me everything I need: an old gift bag, tape, recycled gift wrapping paper, and a pair of scissors. I spread the materials on my desk and started cutting up the wrapping paper. The cookies are ready to go, they only need a proper container. I've got a few hours to make this presentable.
I can do this!
0-0-0-0-0
I can't do this!
Here I am standing atop the giant century-old tree. Holding a homemade bag of cookies. Everything made from scratch. I hope she doesn't notice all the Christmas patterns on the hearts I cut out. Or the way this gift bag is held together by transparent tape. Does she like hazelnuts? I may have put a little too much of it on the cookies. What if she prefers milk chocolate over dark chocolate?! I didn't want them to be too sweet but she might not find it sweet enough!
What was I thinking?! She deserves better than this cheap excuse for a Valentines gift! This is going to be a disaster!
A familiar metallic clicking sound made me fumble to hide my gift behind my back. There was a whoosh in the air before I saw my partner do an aerial cartwheel. She landed in front of me with a dynamic pose and her signature smirk.
"Bonjour, Ladybug!~"
Flashy as ever.
"Uh… Hiiiiii!" I smiled as wide as I can as I waved at her.
Chat Noire's smirk stiffened at my greeting, trying its best to stay on so she looks unaffected. But her folded back ears and agitated belt tail gave her away. In a moment of morbid curiosity, I wished I had a mirror. I must look so creepy to get that reaction out of her.
Chat Noire stepped closer and pulled something out of her pocket to give to me. I squinted under the moonlight to see what it is.
It was a chocolate bar.
Could this be…?
Chat Noire looked away from me. Is it just the moon's lighting making me see things or is she actually blushing? Can I really hope…?
"Here! It's an apology gift."
"Apology? For what?"
"Apology for kissing you without your consent…?" Chat Noire forced herself to face me with her face going redder. "Look, you were brainwashed and that hotel scion boy suggested a True Love's Kiss could be the cure considering the akuma victim apparently never outgrew her Disney Princess phase and your Lucky Charm…"
She went on to explain how in the world did she think kissing me could've brought me back to my senses. My Lucky Charm hinted at it? And Damien figured it out? I owe my childhood bully of all people for getting the love of my life to kiss me? And it was all just to undo Dark Venus' spell?
"... Bottomline is, I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable."
"No!" at her crestfallen face, I quickly amended. "I mean, no, I'm not uncomfortable because of you. It wasn't so bad. The opposite really! You were a good kisser - not that I have many experiences to compare to! I'm just… I'm just…"
I wish this tree could randomly turn sentient and swallow me whole. This confession thing is turning into a disaster! I felt a clawed hand gently squeeze my shoulder. There's Chat Noire, doing her best to calm me down. But the second I look back at her, she stepped back with her hand raised away from me. The way she looked at me with genuine remorse stung.
"You don't need to pretend you're fine with it if you're not. If there's anything I could do to fix this-"
"No, really! I mean it! You have nothing to apologize for. It was an emergency situation and it needed to be done. I think of it like magical CPR."
I clenched my fist. This is going to be an embarrassing admission but if it could help convince Chat Noire she didn't do anything wrong, then so be it.
"I've just never kissed a girl before. Let alone get kissed by one. So excuse me if I'm being weird right now. You did nothing wrong."
My explanation finally put Chat Noire at ease, with her ears perked up and her tail relaxed.
"Oh. I see. I guess there isn't much we could do about it, is there?"
"Sorry."
"It's nothing to be ashamed of. We're both just teens doing our best. I'm sure it will pass," Chat Noire winked and flashed a reassuring smile that clenched my heart.
Ugh. Just when I thought I couldn't fall harder for this girl… This is precisely why I like her.
I pocketed the chocolate into my yoyo holster so I don't let the hope it gave me blind me into thinking this is confirmation enough of her feelings. She clearly cares, but that's not a confirmation of anything. I need a clearer answer than this. Before I could hesitate, I presented the bag of cookies to Chat Noire.
"Here! For you!" I blurted out like an idiot.
Chat Noire graciously accepted the bag without laughing at me.
"Aww, you shouldn't have!" she said as she gleefully examined the box as if it's the best gift she's had all day. That's a good sign.
Take a deep breath. Let it calm my nerves. Now push forward!
"I like you."
Chat Noire paused from cheerfully inspecting my gift for her, frozen like a statue. Then, just as quickly, she came back to life with a flip of her hair and a smirk plastered on her face.
"Of course you like me. Who doesn't?~"
"I'm serious."
"I am too. I'm a very likeable person.~"
Is she in denial or is she just that dense? Well, she always was a bit insensitive. She has been working on it, but her efforts are more focused on comforting akuma victims rather than handling love confessions. I placed my hands on her shoulders, squeezing lightly and looked her directly in the eye.
"Chat Noire, please listen."
Chat Noire didn't say anything. She only blinked at me. I've come this far. There's no going back now.
"I admire your confidence, the way you keep your cool in any situation, your sharp mind, and your boundless determination- You're an amazing hero, and you inspire me to be the best hero I can be. I'm not sure when it happened, but I can tell you the more I got to know you, the stronger this feeling got. Next thing I knew, I'm in love with you."
Now I understood why Chat Noire does this whenever she's trying to get a point across to me: in this position, I can tell if she understood or not. From the looks of it, she understood. But she wishes she didn't. Chat Noire dropped the smirk as her hand raised to scratch the back of her head.
"Well, Ladybug. You're a great guy. Truly. Any girl would be lucky to have you. I-"
I can't watch this anymore, so I let her go.
"No, it's okay. You don't have to love me back. I just wanted you to know. Thank you for hearing me out."
For a while, there was a silence between us. What else is there to say? I love her, but she doesn't love me back. Have I mentioned how much of a disaster this is turning out to be? Because I feel like I couldn't emphasize it enough.
I've ruined everything, haven't I? All signs pointed to this not ending well, but I chose to hope for the best. As if having grit is all that's necessary for this to work out. I shouldn't have listened when Blake said taking the risk would've been worth it! I shouldn't have deluded myself into thinking I had a chance when Chat Noire's kiss brought me back! For all we know, me being in love with her was enough to make it count as a True Love's Kiss!
I took deep breaths and bit the inside of my cheeks - anything to stop the tears from falling. All I could do now is to not cry in front of her and act like an even bigger loser in front of her.
Then Chat Noire coughed to catch my attention. Her ears were folded back and eyes looked glassy. She bit her lip as she offered to return the bag of cookies I gave her.
"I don't deserve this."
Doesn't she? I shook my head and pushed the cookies back into her hands.
"Yes, you do."
Blinking the tears away, I stood straighter. Keep my voice as clear as possible. Don't tremble. That look on her face kept me from falling apart. This is hard on her too. Right now, I need to be strong for her.
"Consider them as Giri - or obligatory chocolates. Where I used to live, those are chocolates given to the people you appreciate at work. Well, also, only girls are supposed to give chocolates today, but I'm in Helios so it should be fine and manly and-"
I try to be cool, but I came off as a rambling idiot! I coughed to recompose myself.
"What I'm trying to say is, you'll always be an amazing crime-fighting partner to me. I can always count on you to have my back. That's good enough for me."
Chat Noire stared at me with wide eyes, the bag of cookies crinkled in her claws. She stood frozen in shock, like she didn't believe me. My resolve was fast disappearing. I can't stay here anymore.
"OKAY! IT'S TIME TO START PATROL! I'LL TAKE NORTH SIDE, YOU TAKE SOUTH! LATER!"
I jumped off the tree and swung away into the city. It's only when I was ten blocks away, safe in the shadows between buildings, I allowed myself to drop the strong man act. The last thing I'd want is for her to feel sorry for me.
0-0-0-0-0
Blair
"Blah blah blah… Read this before. Yada yada…"
I rolled my eyes as I shuffled through paper after paper of words I've heard a thousand times but never once felt more than mild irritation for.
"Delusional. Unrealistic. Please. I know I'm gorgeous, but seriously?"
Patrol went by without further incident. Like it's any other day. Like Ladybug confessing his feelings didn't happen. Like I didn't just tore those feelings apart.
"Tsk, tsk… Now that's just cringe," I gathered all the letters and straightened them out.
So here I am, doing my annual routine of breaking hearts without a care. I knew it doesn't get any deeper than the glossy pages of the magazines I pose for, so why feel sorry for them? I've grown numb from receiving words of "love" from hundreds of fans. That's just how life is for me.
Then Ladybug comes along and proves how different he is from everyone else in my life.
I took out a cookie from Ladybug's present - the only decent thing I got from this wretched holiday - and took a bite. These cookies are so good! An interesting blend of flavors with just the right amount of sweetness. There's no way he bought these from some bakery. There's no elaborate decoration, no overload of sugar... Too much care is put into making these perfect little molds of edible happiness.
The bag it came in was clearly homemade. He tried to hide how it's tearing at the edges with tape and strips of red wrapping paper. And the hearts too. They all had stockings and mistletoe patterns. This thing looks like it came from some unholy holiday hybrid of Christmas and Valentines Day. It's still pretty cute though. And handy. Imagine vaulting around patrol with one hand cause the other is busy carrying a box of cookies. As usual, Ladybug was being thoughtful and considerate.
"Who wouldn't fall for a guy like that?"
"Like who?" Plagg piped up from his pile of Camembert.
Sigh. I miss the days when I had this room all to myself so I can angst alone in peace. Privacy is one of the many sacrifices I made to be a superhero. Might as well get comfortable with it.
"Like Ladybug," I turned around from my desk to face my kwami. "Plagg, do you think there's something wrong with me?"
"Kid, if you don't feel that way about your bug, it's not your fault. Though, you might wanna ease up on being too chummy around him for a while. Give him some space."
The bag of cookies felt heavier in my hands. So I left them on my vanity.
"It's not just about Ladybug."
After a moment of hesitation, Plagg asked quietly. "Then, what is it about?"
I took my pile of fan letters, hopped over to my electric paper shredder and began the fan mail purge.
"Whoa. You really feel nothing at all for those fans of yours, huh?"
Plagg looked at me like he's unnerved at my display of callousness. I can only shrug.
"Mrs. Liung have always discouraged replying to any of them. It sparks unwanted hope from them that may be more painful than a flat out rejection. They're only good for an ego boost, she said. But I never felt flattered. In fact, these letters annoy me. I never understood how they could claim to love me when I've never met any of them in person."
"Humans get weird about appearances all the time. They exaggerate their feelings whenever they find someone attractive."
"But at this age, I still haven't found myself attracted to anyone."
I put away the letters so I can face Plagg properly. Gauge his reaction. Whenever I tell people this, their reactions are either disbelief or a line of questioning. Plagg didn't look like he's about to do either, and for that I could breath easy.
"We Kwamis don't get attracted to anyone either, but we're doing just fine. Romance isn't everything. That just means your heart has more room for better things in life. Like cheese!"
I smiled at this solidarity Plagg is establishing. Then again, this is a kwami I'm talking to. Could this even count for anything?
I've always made fun of Blake whenever he does stupid things around a girl he likes. I couldn't relate to Natalia when she gushes about some handsome actor she saw on TV. I rolled my eyes at the models I worked with who couldn't get their act together just because they're surrounded by their fellow beautiful models.
For a while, I'd look down on them thinking I was more mature for not losing my mind over a pretty face. I can tell when a person qualifies as attractive. I'm not blind. I simply assumed it's normal for anyone with a sense of professionalism not to go gaga over it.
However, my lack of attraction to people never bothered me. I thought I was like Dad. He was never attracted to anyone besides Mom. I was so sure that just like him, the right person will come along and I'll fall hard for them on sight and never look at anyone else.
"You're clearly still hung up about this. Does Ladybug have something to do with it?"
In a matter of months, the bug managed to carve a unique niche in my life no one, not even my brother, could fill if anything were to happen to him. He's become more important to me than I could ever anticipate. Irreplaceable.
I'm well aware he's far from perfect, but he does his best. Whatever he lacks, he makes up for in effort. I admire him for being compassionate, determined, reliable and honest. And in turn he believes in me, respects my opinions, and trusts me to have his back. He checks out on everything I could ever want in a partner.
"I think I love him."
Plagg flew over my shoulder and purred. He's rarely ever this affectionate.
"But it's not the same kind of love he feels for you."
"I wish it was."
0-0-0-0-0
Shizuke
The night was mercifully quiet. Other than the occasional muggers lurking around the darkest corners of the city, there wasn't much to do during patrol. It was a struggle maintain a stoic disposition right after giving my cookies to Chat Noire, but I managed. Okay, maybe 'managed' is being generous. The civilians I helped out were a little concerned for me.
What else could I do? I can't fake a smile to save my life. I'd rather die than act like a crybaby over getting dumped. It's hardly the first time it's happened. I've been rejected worse than this before! Chat Noire cared about me, even if only as a friend.
She's not like Tsurugi Ai.
Once I was in my room, I dropped my transformation.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine."
Tikki continued to flutter by in concern, but I brushed her off. My love was unrequited. No amount of moping will change that. I might as well spend what time I have doing something productive.
I turned on my computer and opened my Akuma Chart, as per routine - well, it's a task I should've done much sooner. Today's events have been updated on the map:
Dark Venus
Real Name: Natalia Hale
Duration: Approx. 1 hour
Date: February 14, xxxx, xxxxxxxxx
Akuma Item: Headband
Goal: Made everyone fall in love with her
Location Notes:
Announced her presence at Lucia Park, est. 9am
Defeated and purified near the Grand Chariot Hotel, 10:14am
Marking all of those notes into the chart, it's time I typed down my more concerning observations.
Dark Venus was tortured twice via mental link. A counterproductive move considering how much damage it caused to Dark Venus and impaired her flight, which was her strongest asset. Notably, the second time Hawkmoth hurt her, she was aiming her only offensive arrow at Blake. Was she trying to stop her from hurting Blake?
Blake was there from the start. The odds of Blair hiding nearby is high.
Natalia was the girl who broke Blake's heart.
As the so-called protective twin, it's reasonable to believe Blair might not like her for that. Why else would anyone sabotage their own pawn?
Her motives are becoming clearer as I kept typing. She's definitely Hawkmoth! She's -
Tikki nudged over my hand, grabbing my attention. The kwami sternly shook her head. She didn't have to say it.
I resisted the urge to transform, swing to the Liung's apartment and confront the redhaired model. I've made more than enough mistakes on impulse by letting my feelings get the better of me. From now on, I'll try harder to approach things more logically.
All this evidence is circumstantial at best. But if she does one more suspicious thing, give me one more reason to doubt her innocence… She better prepare for a confrontation.
0-0-0-0-0
Notes:
Okay, this was a wee bit rushed. I got busy this week with getting a new job and it's only going to get busier. Bonus chapter will probably take even longer but at least the episode's main story is pretty much done with! I'll be done with it before the year's end. Hopefully.
Something I feel I need to discuss here. Blair is Demisexual Demiromantic. Which means, she doesn't feel sexual nor romantic attraction towards anybody without a strong emotional connection. Without emotional connection, she's functionally AceAro. Now why isn't she in love with Ladybug despite their established strong emotional bond? Ladybug is missing one thing that would get her to fall for him: complete understanding.
Yup. The secret identities are getting in the way again. While Blair may know him by heart, she doesn't know the hard facts of who he is and how he came to be. She's not seeing the full picture of him. Those missing puzzle pieces prevents her from truly understanding him as a person. As it is, Blair holds Ladybug in high regard and the most personal reason she doesn't want to reveal who she is to him is because she thinks she'll lose his own admiration of her as a hero if he knew who she really is. He's important to her, but she's not quite ready to show him a more vulnerable side to her. And with the secret identities and being superheroes thing, Ladybug also tries to hide his more vulnerable sides as well, even though she's already got a glance of it. Not like he can spill his heart out to her without carefully leaving out some key details that could reveal himself. Those are the two biggest walls that get in the way of their connection.