I know this sounds really bad, but I cried so hard when I was typing this, I had to get a paper towel to clean off the keyboard because I couldn't keep my fingers on it. I hope you enjoy it!

Summary: It had been four years since Soubi's death. The death that only affected two people and a random number of college art professors. Ritsuka was always irritable about everything and everyone. Yuiko and Yayoi had been leaving him alone lately, since it was the month of Soubi's birthday. Kio didn't talk at all. He never even mouthed something. He stayed locked up in his room, painting hideously bloody pictures and drawings that ended up on the floor within minutes of their start. Shinonome-sensei was a tad bit upset about his death, but she hadn't been worrying about him as much as Ritsuka. Ritsuka had almost been held back last year, but Shinonome-sensei begged that he could move up with his friends. Coincidentally, she was also moving up to teach a different grade, and had Ritsuka, Yuiko, and Yayoi in her class.


Ritsuka woke up to the annoying sound of his alarm clock.

Beep-beep

Beep-beep

He stretched his hand over and knocked it off the table. Sometimes he wondered if it was someone screaming in his ear that he was lazy. Whenever that happened, he would just shake his head and think of something else. Mostly these days, it was about Soubi. Ritsuka's lover had died almost four years ago.

Flashback

It was Soubi's birthday, and, feeling somewhat giddy and partially drunk, he had dragged Kio out to the movies. He felt bad for Kio, and wanted to make it up to the other boy. But he had warned Kio that it would only happen once.

Soubi was being pulled along by a very drunk Kio towards the movie theatre. He was starting to have regrets about this. Kio turned around, twisting Soubi's wrist in the process, and slurred, "I know a short cut, follow me, Sou-chan!" Soubi reluctantly followed as he thought about why Kio chose 'chan' over 'kun' or something else.

Soubi looked around as Kio pulled him into a dark, dank alley. Kio ran ahead of the blonde, who was thankful Kio had let go of his wrist. It was a pale blue and hurt, a lot. Soubi half-walked half-jogged to catch up with Kio. As soon as the two rounded the next corner, Soubi got a gut-feeling that they shouldn't have been back there.

There were two intimidating men laughing, each surrounded by a probably illegal amount of empty saké bottles. Soubi and Kio stopped in their tracks, backing up slowly until they reached the stone-cold wall of the nearest building. The two men, who were dressed in identical outfits, studded skin0tight leather jeans, a studded leather jacket, and buzz cuts, stopped laughing and walked up to the two newcomers. Kio whimpered and flattened himself against the wall. Soubi stood up a little straighter and took a shaky breath. If he hadn't been drunk, he might have thought a bit more logically and practical than what he was doing. He slinked over to the other side of the wall, but to no avail. The taller, more muscular, of the two men walked up to him and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. Kio was paralyzed with fear and stood, whimpering. The man that had grabbed Soubi was now giving him light punches in the face, chest, and crotch that were getting harder, and harder, and harder until even Soubi had to scream out. The man started beating Soubi up in ways that involved chains being wrapped around the oddest places, raping him, and cracking his spine.

Kio couldn't help it and ran. He was running to get help, but passed out shortly from the pictures that wouldn't leave him alone. When he woke up about an hour later, he immediately rushed over to where his friend had been. Funny how being drunk can suddenly disappear like that in the direst of situations. But the site that Kio saw was not funny. The two men had vanished, and in their place they left a battered up Soubi. Kio slowly walked towards his blue eyed friend and sat down, sobbing.

Soubi was chained up to the wall, almost completely covered in chains except for his crotch area and his eyes. A gold chain, about 3 inches in width, had been sliced right in the middle of Soubi's pelvic bone. Bullet holes were right next to his eyed. Soubi's eyes were wide open and filled with fear, something Kio had only seen once in his crush's eyes. A thin, white film coated the eyes. Kio didn't even have to check to know that his friend was dead. He opened his mouth for a scream, but no sound came out except hiccups from his bawling.

Kio was interrupted by a beeping sound coming from Soubi's side. Upon further investigation, he found Ritsuka had sent Soubi a birthday text message. Without thinking, Kio replied with the address of the alley he was in. He hoped Ritsuka would find his way here. He wanted to show little Cat-Ears that no love lasts forever, but all he got later on were chains of cuss words Kio had never heard used together before and a painful lump on the head.

End of Flashback

Remembering his pain for Soubi, in another wave of pictures from that night, Ritsuka grabbed a sweatshirt and jeans and ran out the door, forgetting his books on his way out.

Ritsuka ran as fast as he could to Kio's. When he got there, he took out a house key he had stolen from Kio a few weeks back and threw the door open. The house was dark and musty, making it hard for Ritsuka to breathe. He choked on his tears and flew through the hallways and opened doors, closing them with a bang only to repeat the same thing over in another 30 seconds. Ritsuka found Kio in the basement, sitting in the corner, rocking himself back and forth, back and forth. Ritsuka stomped over to Kio and said in a harsh, chilling whisper, "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, and fuck you, because you did this to me! You killed Soubi! You didn't even try to save him!" The sinister words turned into sour threats as Kio sat there thinking, If only I would talk. I can't talk, I can't talk, I can't talk. I tried to save him, you bastard! I TRIED! Unfortunately, Ritsuka would never know this. Instead, he just ran out of the house and straight to school.

Ritsuka got to school 20 minutes after the bell had rung, but he didn't care. All he did was sit through school and stare at the clock, waiting for the day to be over so he could get through the meeting that Shinonome-sensei had requested they had had this morning. The bell finally rang and Ritsuka sluggishly walked to Shinonome-sensei who was standing outside her door, patiently awaiting him.

Ritsuka trudged into the room and sat down, staring up at his sensei expectantly, but not sincerely. Shinonome-sensei sat down in front of Ritsuka and said quietly, "Is there anything I can do to help you today?" Ritsuka shook his head.

"Are you sure?" Shinonome-sensei's voice had a hint of worry to it. More like an overflowing ocean.

Ritsuka shook his head.

"I know it must be hard for you," she started. "since tomorrow is...Is...Is his birthday. Would you at least like me to treat you to a Big Mac?"

Ritsuka shook his head, not even wanting his all-time favorite food right now. He turned his head to the window, an old habit he used to do while he waited for Soubi. Today, though, he thought he saw something outside. With a blink, it was gone.

Shinonome-sensei told Ritsuka to go home and get some rest. She also told him not to worry about homework. As he walked outside, she gave a quick, invisible wave and left, also.

At home, Ritsuka flopped down on his bed. He wasn't hungry, and he definitely did not want any company.

The next day, Ritsuka slept through his alarm clock and didn't even go to school. He just lay in bed, staring at the ceiling and trying to hold back his tears. That continued for the rest of the week.

The following Monday, Ritsuka got out of bed, ran to Kio's to scream at him, and went to school. This continued for a few weeks, like it had been for the past few years.

The fifth Thursday after Soubi's birthday, though, something was about to change. Ritsuka had another meeting with Shinonome-sensei and was looking out the window in a habit he couldn't break. He swore he saw Soubi standing outside today, but thought it to be another mind trick.

When Shinonome-sensei dismissed him, with her good lucks and so forths, Ritsuka still thought he saw Soubi standing outside the gate, his gaze on his feet. Ritsuka felt a tear fall down his face at his memories, and he walked outside. When he was about a meter away from the gate, everyone else had already left, and Ritsuka still thought he saw Soubi. He walked up to his so-called mirage and whispered the one word that made him cry, "Soubi..."

To Ritsuka's surprise, his mirage lifted it's head to reveal...

It wasn't a mirage!

Ritsuka gasped and flew into his fighter's arms, whispering, "Suki da yo," over and over. Tears were falling down his cheeks in record speed. He hugged Soubi tighter than either of them thought possible. Soubi cupped Ritsuka's chin in his hand and held him in a long, passionate kiss.

When Soubi pulled back, he whispered the sentence that Ritsuka had been dying to hear for so long.

"Suki da yo, my love."


Can someone please review? -sniffle- This is still making me cry...