Chapter 22: Nonononono dont cry in front of her
Upper Fire Month, 6th Day, 600 AGG
"—you up?" Amrel growled and tossed her pillow at the bastard who had woken her up.
A pillow? Amrel threw the covers off herself and sat up, taking in her surroundings. "Where the hell are we?"
"Still in Almersia," Cerabrate tossed the pillow back on her bed. "The… angels bailed us out."
"You don't sound very happy about that," Amrel raised an eyebrow. Was this guy seriously getting jealous over some summons? "Where's Cas and Al?"
"Outside doing stuff," the Holy Lord shrugged nonchalantly. "By the way, there was this black-haired lady who wanted to talk to you when you got up."
"Black-haired lady?" Amrel scrunched her face in confusion. "So not the Lady of Wings."
"That's such a stupid name," Cerabrate looked like he wanted to spit on the ground. "But no, not her. Should probably get going. She looked really pissed."
"Why the hell do I have to go?" Amrel begrudgingly got out of bed and noticed that she and her clothes were clean. She'd always thought 『Clean』was a useless spell, but maybe they were on to something there… "You're the one who caused this damn mess."
"Uh, no?" Cerabrate stared at her in disbelief. "It's mostly the Theocracy's fault. We definitely could've snuck in and assassinated the beastmen lords if they didn't wake the whole fucking city up. In and out, would've been a done deal."
"You," Amrel opened the door and deadpanned at the Holy Lord. "Are a complete idiot." She slammed the room's door behind her and headed outside the building. Calling Cerabrate an idiot had long lost its charm.
"So where do I go—ah," she stared up at a four-winged angel in heavy armor, radiant fire flaring out from the orifices in its lion-head helmet. "Guess you're my ride?"
The angel silently raised its arms towards her.
"Gonna assume that's a yes," Amrel muttered as she let the angel pick her up, her fingers clenching the gaps between its armor once it began zooming through the city. "Shit, that's fast!"
It was an amazing sight though, being able to see the city pass by underneath her so quickly. Despite being a spellcaster of the Fourth-Tier, Amrel was unable to cast『Fly』since she had specialized in evocation magic. Either way, she was certain that the angel would outspeed any flight spell except maybe—just maybe—those cast from the legendary Tri-Arts Caster.
The angel came to a stop before a well-guarded and repurposed two-story building. Amrel got off its arms, her legs still trembling from the impromptu flight.
"In here?" she looked at the angel and pointed at the door. The angel nodded its head, opening the door for her. "Wow, thanks—no, why am I thanking a summon?"
Amrel slowly walked down the hallway, the angel closing the door behind her as it floated towards the front and led the way. It was a surprisingly large building, and Amrel could hear the sounds of people bickering and discussing on her way to wherever the angel was taking her.
'The Royal Court works fast, I'll give them that.'
Finally, they stopped before a door that looked like all the others that had preceded it. The lack of decoration throughout the interior did not escape her notice. Anger bubbled up in Amrel's heart. Just how much culture and art had the beastmen destroyed for the sake of their sick farms?
The angel knocked on the door.
"Come in," a muffled voice filtered through the cracks in the doorway. Amrel took a deep breath to calm herself down and pushed the door open.
It was a depressingly empty office: the bookshelves bereft of books, the room nearly completely free from furniture, the walls wiped clean of any artwork or otherwise distinguishing features.
No, in the room, there were only two chairs, a desk, and a mature woman with long black hair sitting behind said desk.
"Amrel Lucia Del Asturias," the black-haired woman gestured towards the chair in front of her. "Please. Have a seat."
"Um, alright," Amrel slowly sat down, keeping her eyes on the woman all the while. "So, uh, you wanted to talk to me?"
"Your cousin has been rather worried about you," the woman tapped the surface of the wooden table with her index finger. "I mean the Prime Minister of course."
"You'll have to forgive me if I don't recognize you," Amrel let out a mental sigh with the realization that it was going to be one of those kinds of meetings. In any case, she was pretty familiar with playing the 'High Noble' role. "I haven't had much of a chance to attend the Royal Court for a good while."
"Quite," the woman had a small smile on her face. Amrel held back a scowl. She really wasn't in the mood for these fucking games right now even if the woman looked like she could be Her Majesty's mother— "I can assure you that you are not missing out on anything pleasant. I would know; I preside over the court."
—Wait, what?
"A-Ah," Amrel immediately rose from her chair and genuflected before her sovereign. Maybe Her Majesty had an extremely delayed growth spurt as a result of being one-eighth dragon? Or could it possibly be the work of her ancestral magic? "Your Majesty! I didn't realize it was you."
"Rise," all traces of mirth vanished from Queen Oriculus's eyes. "I will not dance around the issue here. You have done a horrendous job of keeping Cerabrate in check."
"My sincerest apologies," Amrel swallowed thickly. "He's…" She struggled to find the right words to describe the Holy Lord. "Prone to doing his own thing."
"As most strong people are," Queen Oriculus mumbled just loud enough for Amrel to hear. The spellcaster bit the inside of her cheek; the statement bore the weight of experience and close familiarity. "My apologies. I was being unfair. It would be foolish to expect that man to take the rational course of action."
"Your Majesty does not need to apologize," Amrel felt a bead of sweat roll down the back of her neck. This conversation was not boding well for Crystal Tear. "I would be the first to agree that our attack was ill-prepared—and forgive my presumptiousness—but after seeing what we saw in that city…" Amrel tightly clenched her fists. "Wouldn't freeing the city as soon as possible no matter the cost be the rational thing to do?"
"You saw that too then?" Amrel kept silent and waited for the queen to continue. Her use of 'too' all but confirmed her involvement in Caldevera. Just how close were the Lady of Wings and the queen for the angel to decide to extend so much aid? "Hm, nevermind. Memories like that are best left alone. Anyways, your sentiment is understandable."
'There's a but,' Amrel bitterly thought. 'There's always a but.'
"But I hope you understand that all of you could have died today if the angels had arrived even a few seconds later," Amrel resisted the urge to squirm under the gaze of the queen's teal-green eyes. Were they always so… piercing? She wasn't ever this sharp when she was walking around as a little kid. "Because of your team and another group, the city has suffered a significant amount of collateral damage. There were plans in place—"
"So you were willing to let them just suffer while you took your time making your 'plans?'" Amrel snapped at the queen. She didn't care about etiquette anymore. Not before this… hypocrite who had the gall to preach about preventing collateral damage while her people were being butchered. "I won't—can't—accept that answer."
"If blaming me makes you feel better, then by all means, feel free," the queen suddenly appeared very, very tired. Amrel would be lying if she said she didn't feel a little bad. "The truth of the matter is that if you had waited or told us about your impromptu raid, then much fewer lives would have been lost."
"Now you care about lives being lost?!" Amrel shot up from her seat and slammed both hands against the desk as she glared at the queen. "What about all the lives lost ever since the beastmen started attacking us?! What about them, huh?! What were you doing while the rest of us were risking our damn necks out there?!"
"Their lives are on my head," the queen calmly held her gaze. "And I am certain I will be judged for that someday. But this is not just about me." Queen Oriculus briefly glanced at the lion-helmet angel hovering next to her and muttered to herself. "Yuriko shouldn't have to deal with this mess…"
Amrel wasn't sure if she was meant to hear that.
"Anyways," the queen shook her head. "Regardless of how incompetent I am, it doesn't change the fact that what happened today didn't need to happen. Try keeping that in mind the next time you all go on an impromptu adventure."
"Fu—Fine, Your Majesty," Amrel clenched her teeth.
"You can go ahead and say what you wanted to," Queen Oriculus dryly replied. "I do not particularly mind if you want to vent at me, so long as it's not in public."
"Fuck you."
"Duly noted," the queen tiredly smiled. "Moving on to a more pleasant topic, I wanted to discuss the matter of compensation for Crystal Tear's heroics over the course of this war. I will be the first to admit that I have been… unfair in terms of payment."
"We weren't in this for the money," Amrel bit back a growl as she plopped back down in the chair. "Besides, shouldn't you talk to Cerabrate about money-related stuff?"
"Ah," Queen Oriculus's smile grew brittle. "I'm sure you can understand why I'm not too keen on meeting him."
"… Fair," Amrel grudgingly agreed. Having a one-on-one conversation about money with a man that lusted for a little-girl version of you would be unpleasant for anyone sane. "If I may ask, was this one of the reasons you've hid your," She vaguely gestured at the queen. "I'm assuming, real appearance?"
"Yes," Queen Oriculus bluntly answered. "Despicable of me, I know. But—"
"No," Amrel reluctantly felt a surge of respect for the queen. "You've humiliated yourself for the kingdom's sake. My words were too harsh, but I still don't like the situation."
"Well, that makes two of us then, no?" Queen Oriculus scoffed in self-derision. "Though I had always found it odd how much more inclined the noble houses were willing to work together when I asked them in my… more well known facade."
"Errr, right," maybe people were just naturally more receptive to requests from a child. Perhaps the queen had the right idea after all? "Then is it okay for you to, well, you know?"
"Perhaps not," the queen pursed her lips with downcast eyes. "It must seem rather selfish for me to put my wants above the kingdom's needs."
"It's good for a ruler to be dignified," Amrel clumsily tried to lift the depressing mood. "So staying as you are isn't necessarily all downsides."
"Maybe," Queen Oriculus rested her chin upon interlaced fingers and replied noncommittally. "We've gone off topic. Back to matters of payment—"
"It's fine. Don't worry about it, Your Majesty," Amrel just wanted to leave and go sleep off the whole shitty adventure. "None of us decided to stay and defend the Draconic Kingdom with the expectations of more money."
"All the same, I hope you can understand why I would rather not leave this loose end untied," Queen Oriculus put a Bag of Holding on the table. "Five-hundred platinum. I will eventually have to do something with a bit more pomp and ceremony, but is this acceptable?"
"If you insist, Your Majesty," Amrel cautiously stared at the vast amount of money sitting inside the magical bag. Had the kingdom's finances recovered that quickly? "Is this okay though?"
"We've stopped paying tribute to Baharuth. If you're worried about the state of the Treasury, don't be," Queen Oriculus looked expectantly at her—and was that a hint of anxiety? "If this much isn't enough, then the Treasurer and I will figure something out."
"You don't want to owe anything to Cerabrate," the realization finally hit Amrel. "Why not just get the Lady of Wings to chase him away? The idiot is strong, but this ally you found blows him and us out of the water."
"I…" the queen bit her lips. "Don't want to burden her with something so trivial. Besides, it would be unfair to treat your team like that after all you have done for the kingdom."
'This reaction… what the hell?' Amrel was baffled. In that moment, the queen looked like a woman pining for her lover. 'No, that's ridiculous. Although, it would make sense that she wouldn't want someone intimate with her to know about the whole mess with the pedo-idiot…'
"You should tell her," Amrel decided on confronting the issue. The possibility of offending the savior of the Draconic Kingdom was far too costly for her to ignore as a noble of said kingdom, even if it could lead to Crystal Tear's downfall. "It'll be better to hear it from your own mouth than somebody else's."
"I, I suppose," Queen Oriculus twisted the signet ring on her finger with a conflicted expression on her face. "I just…"
Her voice trailed off as she looked down at the desk.
"I don't want her to hate me," the queen whispered.
"W-Well," Amrel slightly blushed at the sight and coughed into her fist. What the hell? Just who the fuck was the Lady of Wings to incite such a reaction from Queen Oriculus? "If she's helped us this much already, then I don't think that'll be enough to make her hate you."
"… Do you have any other questions?" the queen looked even more downcast than before. Amrel kicked herself in her head—meddling with matters pertaining to love was always a stupid decision. "If not, then our business here is concluded."
"Oh! Um, right, I was wondering what happened to the Theocracy group that attacked at the same time we did," Amrel asked as she tied the bag filled with platinum to her belt.
"The Sunlight Scripture," Queen Oriculus's voice grew chilly once more. "They're relatively fine, save for a few casualties. We won't be requesting their services anymore."
"R-Right," Amrel swallowed thickly. Crystal Tear had lucked out today in more ways than one, it seemed. It was a little surprising to find out that their accidental allies had been the Sunlight Scripture though; attacking a fortified city by themselves didn't seem to be their modus operandi. "I'm guessing they weren't there on your orders?"
"No," the queen's eyes darkened, a hint of anger leaking through. "Nor on that of their superiors. But you may rest assured; the problem won't be one for long. Was that all you wanted to ask?"
"Of course, Your Majesty," an information leak then? But that didn't answer the question of why the Sunlight Scripture saw fit to attack the city on the same day the Royal Court and the Lady of Wings had planned on. "I'll see myself out, by your leave."
"Go in peace," Queen Oriculus turned her attention back to a folio she had pulled out of somewhere. "And try to stay out of trouble. Your cousin would give me an earful if something happened to you."
"As Your Majesty commands," Amrel snorted in amusement as she bowed before the queen. Martin could go shove another two or three sticks up his ass.
The spellcaster left the room, the building, and stood outside looking up at the sky while she tried to process everything that had recently transpired.
"Azure Gale," a snobby-looking black-outfitted man approached her with a sneer. "Finally awake from your little escapade, aren't you?"
"Who the hell are you?" Amrel glared at the man who had interrupted her contemplations. "Oh wait." She took a closer look at his outfit—it seemed pretty familiar now that she thought about it. "Aren't you from the Sunlight Scripture?"
"Hmph," she seriously wanted to punch the guy in his stupid looking face. "So even mercenaries like you know of—"
"Didn't you guys just get chewed out by a foreign head of state?" Amrel smirked. "How're your bosses feeling about that one, huh?"
"How dare you," The man fumed in outrage, his face reddening like a tomato. "How dare you have the gall to insult me! Me, a defender of humanity compared to you, a dirty money-grubbing adventurer?!"
"You guys got a bunch of humans killed though," Amrel pointed out. "Messed up Her Majesty's military operations. Guess you all are just as bad as some 'dirty money-grubbing adventurers,' eh?"
"As if the schemes of a filthy mongrel are worth any consideration—" the man gagged as Amrel jabbed her index finger into his throat.
"Do not," Amrel's voice fell dangerously low. "Insult Her Majesty. Someone like her is worth infinitely more than some cocky little shit like you."
"Impudent!" the man raged, slapping her hand away. "You adventurers… None of you understand the true nature of the world! Even you, someone who has seen the atrocities of the subhumans, are too wrapped up in your self-righteous hypocrisy to understand!"
"Think whatever you want," Amrel bumped into the man's shoulder as she walked past him. "But if I hear you say anything like that again…"
Amrel Lucia Del Asturias, Azure Gale, the arcanist of Crystal Tear turned around and sneered at the member of the Sunlight Scripture.
"Let's just say that I don't need my staff to kill a chump like you."
"You—You dare?!" the man spluttered in indignation. "I am the Captain of the Sunlight Scripture! You will regret making an enemy out of me, I swear on the names of the Six Gods!"
"Go swear on your shit too while you're at it," Amrel murmured under her breath, tuning out the temper tantrum of the man behind her. "Pretty embarrassing if that guy's the best the Theocracy has to offer."
She pushed the annoying guy out of mind, choosing to take a look around the city instead.
It was a mess. Slaughterhouses were being cleaned and repurposed by angels alongside human foremen and construction workers at the same time corpses on the streets were carried elsewhere. Amrel felt a twinge of worry. With this many living beings killed, there was a non-zero chance of undead spawning from residual miasma.
'No, the angels can deal with this,' the spellcaster pinched her nose. 'I mean, they're angels right? Dealing with the undead should be a walk in the gardens.'
She stumbled over a pothole, barely catching herself before she fell.
"Fucking beastmen, fucking up the fucking roads…" she cursed as she brushed her robes off. "Hope I never have to see a damn demihuman again."
"Ams!" someone slapped her on the shoulders from behind. Amrel rolled her eyes before turning around to face her accoster. "How you doing?"
"I was doing fine," Amrel kicked Alvarin in the knee. "Then I saw you."
"Shit!" the ranger yelped in pain, rubbing the bruised kneecap. "First time you see me after we almost died, and you kick me?!"
"Don't jump at me from behind then," the spellcaster scowled before they both broke out into a smile. "Glad to see that you didn't kick the bucket while I was busy napping. Where's Cas?"
"Helping out with the rebuilding," Alvarin gestured his hand towards the west. "I mean, kinda obvious, don't you think?"
"Yeah," Amrel couldn't help but to agree. "Think she'll make us stay here longer to help out? The angels will speed up the process, but this kind of damage…"
"It'll take a while to get all this fixed," Alvarin grimaced. "Like, we probably should help out and all, but we're adventurers y'know? Can't stay in one place for too long, now."
"Mhm," Amrel bit her upper lip. "I'll go talk to her later. With the two major cities recaptured, we might get sent as part of a counter-invasion."
"Ugh. We're not getting paid enough for that."
"Wellll," Amrel patted the newly attained Bag of Holding on her belt. "About that…"
"Oh shit," Alvarin perked up. "How much?"
"Just a trifling amount," the spellcaster turned her nose up in the air. "A mere allowance for a High Noble such as I."
"Just spill it, Ams," Alvarin scoffed in bemusement. "How much? Is it enough for us to finally upgrade our shitty gear?"
"Five-hundred platinum," Amrel raised five fingers up into the air. "Paid by the Royal Court themselves. Not bad, eh?"
"You're shitting me," Alvarin's jaw dropped. "Nuh uh. There's no way. No fucking way."
"You can count it yourself later," Amrel tossed the bag to the gobsmacked ranger. "By the way, what's that pedo-idiot up to?"
"Ah yeah," Alvarin hid the bag under his cloak. "Told us to meet him at the gates once we were all done with whatever we had to do."
"He might be waiting for a while then," Amrel was about to sit down on a large piece of rubble before a trio of angels landed, lifted the debris, and flew away. "Fucking angels."
"Eh, I'll go talk to Cas," the ranger made to walk away. "Uh, have fun in the meantime?"
"I'll try," Amrel rolled her eyes. "Guess I'll go find something useful to do too…"
"How dare she," Nigun gnashed his teeth in impotent frustration. "That bitch. How dare she threaten me."
Once he returned to the Theocracy, he would definitely find a chance to exact his revenge on that cursed Azure Gale and that blasphemous Aindra girl as well. The detestable heretics would rue the day they crossed him: the Captain of the Sunlight Scripture!
"Captain," one of his men found him loitering outside the building where the mongrel queen was residing. "We've been told to leave as soon as possible."
"Hm?" Nigun was mildly surprised. "By who?"
"Queen Oriculus, sir," the priest respectfully lowered his head. "Or one of her courtiers at least."
"Pft," Nigun chuckled. "If we don't, what can they do?"
"Arrest us, sir."
"Tch," Nigun looked up at the angels flitting about in the air with a complicated expression. "In the end, we haven't achieved a single one of the objectives I set out."
To see the Lady of Wings. To confirm with his own eyes and ears why she had decided upon championing the Draconic Kingdom over the Slane Theocracy.
The question ate away at him, day and night. He had to know. What were they lacking? What did the mongrel ruler have that the exalted Cardinals did not?
To that end, he had bribed a servant to one of the nobles that regularly attended court. It had been all too easy for him to get information on the Draconic Kingdom's plans for recapture—yet another issue that spoke of the mongrel's incompetence.
From there, it was easy to assume that the Lady of Wings would take part in the attack based on precedent. Except she didn't.
"You all go on ahead," Nigun finally decided. "To return with nothing after the troubles we've gone through is unacceptable."
"The Cardinals won't be happy, Captain," the priest warned him. "Did we even have orders to be here in the first place?"
"Don't question your betters!" Nigun snapped at his impudent subordinate. "What I chose was in alignment with the will of the gods!"
"You sent good men and women to die for your own personal whim," the priest sounded horrified. "This whole raid… the Cardinals never sanctioned this. It was you."
"You need to learn your place," Nigun gritted his teeth and lifted the man by the collar of his uniform. "The Cardinals would approve of my actions!"
"And yet you haven't told them," the man's voice was filled with anger. "You sought to subvert the Sunlight Scripture for your own gain. You have committed heresy."
"Silence!" Nigun pulled an arm back to pummel the ignorant fool only to be held back at the last second by one of the angels standing guard. "Wha—?"
In mere seconds, he had been knocked to the ground, restrained and held captive under the weight of the holy summons. The priest he had been set on disciplining brushed off his clothes before directing a disdainful glare at Nigun.
"The Cardinals will know of this upon our return, heretic. In the meanwhile, you may stay here and be subjected to the tender mercies of the captors you sought after so badly. Don't expect to keep your current position for long, Captain."
"Impossible!" Nigun futilely squirmed and struggled. "I am a spellcaster of the Fourth-Tier! A man who is mere steps away from the Realm of Heroes! The Cardinals wouldn't dare forsake me!"
The priest didn't bother replying as they walked off to inform the surviving members of the Sunlight Scripture about the recent developments.
"Unacceptable!" Nigun ranted and raved. "Absolutely unacceptable! Unacceptable unacceptable unaccep—"
Darkness claimed the Captain of the Sunlight Scripture.
"Is he still loitering outside?" Draudillon asked the courtier standing before her. "Tell one of his underlings that I want them out by the end of the day lest they wish to be detained."
"Yes, Your Majesty," the courtier bowed. "I'll do so immediately."
"Good, I'll be—" the courtier startled as a purple portal formed in the middle of the room. "Busy."
"O-Of course," the courtier quickly regained his composure. "By your leave, Your Majesty."
Draudillon nodded her head, the door clicking shut behind the man at the same moment a familiar blonde head popped out from the portal.
"Hi!" Yuriko beamed. "Are you free?"
"Free enough," Draudillon couldn't help but smile despite her melancholy. "How was your day?"
"Mmm," Yuriko looked up and quirked her lips in thought. "Same as yesterday! Did everything go well on your end?"
"Well enough. Sorry for asking you to bring me here on such short notice," Draudillon put the folio she was holding away. "I didn't expect Crystal Tear or the Sunlight Scripture to plan a raid the same time we did."
"That's nice of them, right?" Yuriko fully stepped out of the『Gate』. "Don't you usually have to pay them or something? Also, what's Crystal Tear?"
"Just an adventurer team," Draudillon didn't elaborate. She didn't want to. "Anyways, them coming here without prior warning resulted in more civilian casualties than were necessary. The Sunlight Scripture specifically instigated needless conflicts that caused unneeded damage to the surrounding infrastructure and populace."
"Oh," Yuriko frowned. "Maybe we should stop hiring them."
"Maybe," Draudillon sighed. "At least the foolish behavior of the Scripture will make breaking off our deal with the Theocracy less of a diplomatic disaster. Crystal Tear will be a much simpler problem, thankfully."
She sent a quick thought of thanks to Amrel. The matter wasn't completely concluded yet, but having a reasonable person to work with made the whole affair more bearable.
'So you were willing to let them just suffer while you took your time making your plans?' the spellcaster's words echoed in her mind as they had ever since the meeting ended.
"Cool!" some of Yuriko's worry melted away. "I'll head here right after I'm done with Caldevera—"
"Can I ask you something?" the dragon queen suddenly spoke up. Immediately, she felt a wave of anxiety wash over her. Even still, she needed to ask.
'How pathetic,' she mocked herself in her mind. 'To add your petty feelings as yet another burden onto her shoulders—have you no shame, Draudillon?'
"Hm?" Yuriko went behind the desk, standing next to Draudillon with her hands clasped behind her back. "What's up?"
"Am I a bad person?" Draudillon took a deep breath and looked out the window where her people were milling about, angels and soldiers in the process of cleaning up and rebuilding Almersia. "I let my people die and get butchered because I wanted the reconquest to go smoothly. Just how many people could have been saved if I hadn't wasted time insisting on having a thorough plan?"
"I think you're a nice person," Yuriko wrapped her in a soft hug, the angel's six wings enveloping Draudillon alongside her arms. "And even if everyone else thinks you're bad, I'll always think you're good. Wanting to make sure more people survive is definitely a good thing!"
"Then why does it feel so wrong?" Draudillon's mouth felt dry. "Trading lives like this… it's disgusting. I'm not like you. You're good, and I'm just—"
"I'm not a good person," the statement was said with a vehemence that surprised Draudillon. "I've already crossed a lot, no, a ton of lines."
"Many people owe their lives to you," Draudillon laid a soothing hand over the angel's. Why was reassuring others so much easier than reassuring herself? "Humans and beastmen alike. Doing so without even bothering about payment—isn't that unquestionably good?"
"I dunno…" Yuriko buried her face into Draudillon's shoulder from behind. The dragon queen felt a jolt of shame. It felt nice that the angel came to her for comfort even though it was her fault they needed it in the first place. "The stuff I've done, I don't think I can pretend like they never happened. Doing some good stuff doesn't make all the bad stuff go away."
"I, I'm sorry," Draudillon's stomach sank even lower with guilt. "What happened that day was my fault, so don't blame yourself for it."
"No, it's not your fault. Plus, it's more like, I'm worried it'll get easier and easier for me to cross that line, y'know?" Yuriko tightened her embrace. "And then all of a sudden, I'll become the kind of person that can kill thousands of people without even blinking."
"You won't," Draudillon said in a firm voice. "You're not that kind of person."
"How do you know that?" Yuriko challenged with an almost desperate voice. "How do you know I won't just—I dunno—snap someday?"
"I have a good eye for people," Draudillon reached back and comfortingly rubbed the top of Yuriko's head. "So if you can't trust yourself, then trust in my judgment. Besides, even if you did become someone like that, I—"
'Would still love you.'
…
Huh.
What?
Her.
In love?
Ridiculous. Draudillon Oriculus did not deserve love.
She deserved to live a life filled with penance for all the people she had failed, the lives lost because of her.
"I would still believe in you," it took every ounce of willpower she had to keep a smile on her face even as despondency settled into her heart. "No matter what. I promised that I would look after you and make sure you didn't make a mess of things, no?"
Yes, it was better this way. She could never forgive herself if she dragged Yuriko further down with her into hell. It would be a sin beyond atonement, beyond forgiveness, beyond redemption.
Draudillon Oriculus did not deserve a single thing worth having.
"You did," Yuriko mumbled, choked with emotion. "Do you really mean it? You're not just saying it to make me feel better?"
The angel was too bright. Radiant even in her doubtfulness. A complete contrast to someone as worn-out and stained in blood as herself. They deserved someone better than her, someone that wouldn't taint that brightness for the sake of their selfish desires.
"I mean it," Draudillon twisted around, gently putting both her hands on the sides of Yuriko's face as she promised to never ever ever allow her feelings to see the light of day. "Truly, I mean it."
"Thanks," Yuriko wiped her eyes with her wrists, a smile breaking over her face like the sun breaking through rainy clouds. "I, I won't let you down. Promise!"
'Seeing her happy is good enough,' she tried to convince herself. 'I don't need anything more.'
Draudillon Oriculus was a pitiful person.
So.
Very, very, very…
Pitiful.