Reviews…:
What's this? An update?
People…you shall find no review answers here! They're at the bottom of the page, at the request of a reviewer. Ha! Bet I got you good, didn't I?
Dear Fanfiction Administration: Don't take away me account? Arrgh, she's all I gots! Of course, I AM the kind who forges accounts…
Disclaimer: Discussion with Nintendo Head Shigeru Miyamoto Pending.
And now…the brand-spanking new chapter seven! Who is it this time? Yoshi, of course.
Yo-Sushi Taco Bell!
"Okay, Yoshi. Using Crazy Hand's Yo-Translator, we will attempt to figure out why you tried to escape from the mansion at 'O' one hundred hours!" Master Hand said. I did not sweat, or panic, or fidget, but simply licked vanilla pudding off my cheeks with my tongue. Yep. Cool's the way to go when you're up against Master Blah and his associate, Crazy Knuckles.
They were sitting in Master Hand's office. On the door, in fancy gold lettering read: Master Hand: I put the 'OW!' in 'Outrageous!'! Caliban: Listen up, people! Now that the Yo-Translator is on, they can understand Yoshi. That means for this whole chapter, when Yoshi speaks without the bold lettering, the Translator is being used.
"Start talking, Mojo," Crazy Hand snapped.
"First of all, my name is Yo-Sushi, not Mojo. Well, I'd prefer Yoshi, but anyways, I'm not talking until one of you bums gets me a napkin! I mean, look at me? You smell one vanilla bean and suddenly my mouth goes Yoshi on me," he snapped, licking more vanilla off his cheeks, the image of Yoshi happiness.
"Enough of you Yoshi-like nonsense convict! We want answers!" Master Hand roared.
"Yoshi-like? So I'm an adjective now? DISCRIMINATION! I have a lawyer you know!" I began snapping. Just because I like eating and haven't been known to speak human, DOESN'T mean I'm a gibbering idiot! Seriously, Pikachu's a MOUSE for heaven's sake, and you don't see anyone offering him cheese.
"Okay, okay! We're sorry! We don't want our palms chafing anymore than they are," Crazy Hand replied.
"Chafing…?" Yoshi asked.
"Yeah. I rightly don't know how Mario or Mickey Mouse or Zelda pull the whole white gloves thing," Crazy Hand sighed. "Well, anyways Mister Yo-Sushi, we'd like to hear your tale about why you suddenly decided to escape."
"Alright, but it ain't pretty," I began.
Three Hours Earlier…
"My name's Yo-Sushi, better known as Yoshi, blah, blah, you get the idea. Okay, I just put the Yo-Translator on so all you viewers out there can see MY side of the Smashing Story. I know, isn't it great! There I was, minding my own business taking a walk, and suddenly I trip over this video camera like, an hour ago!
So anyways, we'll begin with my training-wait a second…Do I smell…vanilla pudding? You guys don't want to miss this! It might be like that time Dr. Mario got into the record books for the world's biggest bowl of marzipan! I don't know what marzipan is either, but it tastes good…"
I continued running through the hall when I saw the most wonderful sight. Large amounts of refrigerated pudding unguarded! Okay, so it was a nasty spill on the floor, but my instincts took over. However, it turned out that the floor WAS guarded.
"OW! Someone littered the floor with makeshift caltrops! I knew it was too good to be true…" I whined, picking painful…what were they…? Pudding cups? Whatever. All I knew was that they hurt.
The worst part was I couldn't pick them out, because they were well-camouflaged without their shiny red films.
After a while I gave up trying to lick between the caltrops.
"Uh oh…it's already past lunch! I need my sugar…" I muttered. I opened up every cupboard in the kitchen, but someone beat me to all the sugar, even the raw kind.
"I can't believe this! Who's crazy enough to eat ALL the sugar in the house! Ah well. Maybe there's like a bakery somewhere around here…" And so began my travel outside the mansion.
I walked to the farthest point of the courtyard until I reached an ordinary metal wiring fence.
"I can jump this any day!" I tried to use my Flutter Jump, but my pinkie toe accidentally touched the fence and I was instantly electrocuted, worse than a thousand Charge Shots with the Super Scope.
"ALERT. ALERT. ESCAPEE ON THE LOOSE. CAPTURE AND SUBDUE."
"OH CRUD! That must be the alarm!" I ran for my life.
Some other part of the mansion…
"Oh no. That little critter ain't escaping!" Crazy Hand snapped, banging a fist.
"Release the hounds!" Master Hand said.
Back with Yoshi…
"AH! They've released the hounds!" I screamed, as a whole pack of dogs chased after me, each one even larger and more vicious than the last. I was pretty sure their teeth were caked with…what was that? BLOOD?
"OH NO! AAAAAAAHHHHHH! IMMINENT DEATH!" I used my patented Flutter Jump and then Ground-Pounded just as they all gathered on my launching space.
"People, let me remind you animal cruelty is not okay, not even with video game characters. In fact, I should be arrested for what I just did, because hurting animals is bad, no questions asked. Not even if they try to maul you like they tried with me. Yeah, you probably think this completely lame. Stupid kids these days. I know you people play a lot more violent video games that show worse stuff than animal cruelty, but just hear me out! I mean, if we're cruel to animals, what's stopping us from being cruel to each other? It's a vicious circle that begins and ends with-" A brick was thrown.
"OW!"
Now with the Hands.
"What? His stupid animal rights speech was abusing his Yo-Translator rights!" Master Hand said.
"Fine with me. Uh oh. Not fine with me. He done KO'd the hounds! That's animal cruelty!" Crazy Hand snapped.
"Crazy Hand…" Master Hand said.
"What?"
"Just go release the other security measure. And MAKE SURE THIS TIME IT'S THE GOOD ONE!"
Now back with Yoshi
I kept running across the field. I saw the little hole in the fence: perfect for escaping through. A GIGANTIC ball of sticky pink taffy came rolling through. It was so sticky it was picking up grass.
"ACK! An anti-escape orb! And it's made of Wacky Taffy!"
The huge anti-escape orb came rolling forth. There was no way to dodge, Flutter-Jump, or any sort of way to save myself.
"Man! What a lame way to die. Crushed by a huge ball of yummy, delicious, pink Wacky Taffy! Wait…yummy, delicious…Wacky Taffy! Of course!"
I opened my mouth as wide as I could, and took a great big bite, biting RIGHT THROUGH the ball of Wacky Taffy.
"Blech! This taffy's contaminated with grass! HUMAN RIGHTS VIOLATION!"
Back with the Hands. Man, there must be some easier to break between…
"That's it. I am calling the professionals," said Master Hand.
"You don't mean-?" Crazy Hand asked.
"Yes. I'm calling …them. They'll deal with that no good escapee! NO ONE ESCAPES FROM THE SMASH MANSION ALIVE!" Master Hand snapped "That's right! It's time to draw a line in the sand! Take no prisoners!"
"Whoa…way scary…" Master Hand slammed his fist onto a red button that said "Push in case of escapes. We mean it, seriously, initiative is for suckers."
"You didn't have to do that! The last time we called em over they destroyed the mansion! They're loonier than Bugs Bunny with a lifetime supply o' carrots!"
"So what! Sacrifices must be made! Yoshi will never survive this!"
Back with the totally clueless Yoshi…
"Whew! I'm almost out of here! Wait…does anyone remember why I'm trying to get out of here again? Oh yeah…I need sugar…FOR SUGAR!" I ran for the hole in the fence, but someone fired a shot with a gun right at me!
"AH! Someone just tried to kill me! Psycho, you can't kill me! I'm a time-honoured beloved children's video game character! And I have copyrights from Shigeru Miyamoto!"
"So what? We're the Super Smash Bros. Escapee Control Faction, or SSBECF, and we have immunity for your stupid copyrights!" said a lady in a super-cool, mercenary costume.
"W-who are you people?" I asked. She opened a licence.
"What does that say? Urby…? HA-HA! That's the silliest thing I've ever heard! Urby! Ha-ha! Where's your twin Kirby, huh? Huh? Or maybe you misspelled Ruby! Nice name! Hoo hoo…I haven't laughed like that in ages…" I paled when I saw the murderous look in her face.
"Ruby…? Kirby…?" she asked "YOU'RE DEAD MEAT! NO ONE MESSES UP MY NAME!" Before she could pump me full of lead, someone tied the rope from a grappling hook around her.
"Whoa Nelly…calm down there…" said a short blond chick in the same uniform, holding a grappling hook and apparently struggling.
"Let me go, Elfbrat! This punk dies! AND DON'T CALL ME NELLY! MY NAME IS URBY!" she raved, looking ABSOLUTELY furious.
"Whoa…issues…" Elfbrat commented, still struggling with the grappling hook.
Someone charged a flame-thrower, and shot it RIGHT beside my head.
"You're the boss. Where do you want me to torch?" asked a young man with brown hair holding a flamethrower, with a cool looking holster on his back. He set up the flame-thrower and aimed VERY carefully at my stomach.
"THE HEAD! THE HEAD! TORCH HIM IN THE HEAD, BLAZING FOOL!" she yelled.
"Whoa…issues…" Blazing Fool replied "Someone didn't screw up her name again, did they?"
"HE DID, HE DID! BURN HIM, BURN HIM!" Urby yelled.
"What are you, Jacob Two-Two? Besides, pumping him full of lead is so much cooler than burning people anyways…" said a kid, in a tee that said "More Mayhem for your Money" instead of the usual uniform everyone seemed to be wearing. He had a scary-looking machine gun on his back, which he took out and charged it.
"Ha! You can't kill me! You can't even aim! Try taking off your sunglasses first, you-" Three shots were fired DANGEROUSLY close to my head. We're talkin' a hair's breadth away from my skin!
"Yeah, what were you going to say?" he asked.
"Uh…I was just going to say I wanted your autograph 'because you must be the world's top sharp-shooter or something heh…and your sunglasses are nice…" I said. He shot again, and this time it was a single millimetre from my…well, I don't need to say.
"Totallystrange, you missed!" a girl snapped.
"No I didn't," he replied. My summer shorts split in two.
"WHO ARE YOU PSYCHOS!" I screamed, and tried running for it. THREE grappling hooks tied me up, keeping me from moving. An extremely painful high-heeled shoe stomped on my head.
"That's so rude! Running from us when we're dealing with you. You no good stinking escapee! And another thing! I'm Demon of the Black Fire here! Why am I manager! I wanna cool weapon too! I mean, she gives Totallystrange a machine gun, but she gives me a suit! I mean this skirt is tiny!" Another shot was heard and it snapped the pencil in Demon of the Black Fire's hair in two.
"What? I have a short attention span!" Totallystrange said.
"You're an idiot, you know that?" a lady snapped. Totallystrange fired yet another shot.
"Sorry, Xiao Darkcloud, I didn't catch all that!"
"Uh…I meant that my partners Keba and RoyalFanatic want to stand here in front of me in case you shoot again!"
"What? Don't bring me into this! I'm too beautiful to die!" Keba whined.
"And I still have to finish off that giant steak they sell at Montana's Steak-hut!" RoyalFanatic cried.
"You can't finish that steak! I told you, it's too huge!" Keba snapped.
"It is not! Besides, you and beautiful don't belong in the same sentence," RoyalFanatic said. Keba pulled out her gun.
"Wanna run that through me again?"
"You look like an overweight leprechaun!" A gun fight ensued, stray bullets cracking through the wall, where Falco was watching the news. You could hear HyperMew on the television.
"This is HyperMew, the hyper kitty, here with a news report! Caliban the Wizard has deployed the elite Super Smash Brothers Escapee Control Faction! Oy…wait…let…me…BREATHE! Okay, yeah, so let's see what they'll break this time!"
"O…kay there…" Totallystrange muttered, shooting the TV.
"Hey! I was watching that!" Another shot was fired.
"AHH!" And so no one saw Falco for the rest of the day.
"Yikes…you people are violent!" a dude holding dual-guns said.
"What do you know? You like King K. Rool, doubledude!" Xiao snapped.
Caliban: Hey! I like him too! He rules! Look man. King K. Rool: Some greedy ruler type guy and big boss in DK series. His plan to destroy the DK Isles with his Blast-o-Matic shows how totally AWESOME he is!
"So what? He rules! His plan to destroy the DK Isles with his Blast-o-Matic shows how totally AWESOME he is!" said doubledude, grinning.
"He's just like boss, honestly," said Demon of the Black Fire.
"Um, hello! Yoshi being ignored here! Aren't we supposed to have some sort of painful, climatic fight?" I asked.
"If Elfbrat ever lets go of Urby," Blazing Fool replied.
"What really makes me mad is the lack of compassion and attention with you people! I'm dying over here!" Elfbrat growled, REALLY struggling with the stark-raving lunatic that was Urby.
"Shut up! Just let me go so I'll kill him!" Urby said, and began thrashing even more. The rope on the grappling hook began slowly breaking…
"Uh oh! I'm dead! Xiao Darkcloud, lemme GOOOOO!"
"Cry me a river, ya freak. RoyalFanatic and Keba are already dead, but you don't see me whining about it," Xiao said.
"You actually seem pretty happy about this," Totallystrange said.
"They were pretty annoying," Xiao replied.
"Hello! We're still alive over here…! Hello?" RoyalFanatic and Keba whined, underneath piles of rubble. A random Charge Shot burst through the rubble, as Samus came charging by, destroying Metroids along the way.
"OUR HEROOOO!" they squealed.
"Both of you get back here!" Demon of the Black Fire snapped.
"I'm bored. Let's go blow something up," said Blazing Fool to Totallystrange.
"O-K!" And they left to go blow up the mansion.
"SOMEONE PLEASE HELP!" Elfbrat yelled, losing control on the grappling hook.
"SOMEONE PLEASE LISTEN TO HER!" I yelled.
"Both of you shut up! I'm concentrating on blowing up the mansion!" doubledude said.
"DEATH TO ALL YOSHIS!" Urby roared, and with that the rope snapped.
"AAAAHHHHHH! SOMEONE GET THESE ROPES OFF OF ME!" I yelled, struggling.
"Wait a sec. I'm a Yoshi! I'll just eat these ropes!" I took a bite of the ropes, but then spat them out.
"Blech! These taste worse than Roy's cooking, and that's saying something!" I whined.
"Don't worry! We'll help you out!" Keba said.
"We're a duo of arguing cowards but we know what's right! Go ahead and take a big bite out of Urby!" RoyalFanatic said, and cut the ropes with a long, painted nail.
"Hey, I like your nail polish," I said.
"Ya, I know; they're Kratos Purple!" said RoyalFanatic. Caliban the Wizard Kratos: Character from Tales of Symphonia. Tales of Symphonia: Unnecessarily long video game with a lame name for the main character. I mean, seriously, LLOYD!
"Now let's run the heck outta here!" I yelled.
"Amen to that!" the duo yelled, and ran for their lives. Urby was hot on our tails.
"DIE!" she yelled.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" We screamed. Just as we were running toward the mansion, a huge explosion was heard.
"EVERYONE RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! ROY'S COOKING ESCAPED FROM CAPTIVITY!" Marth yelled.
"What? I thought that stuff never gets out!" I yelled back.
"Some idiots set off a huge explosion that destroyed half the mansion!" Marth said.
"That's preposterous! The cage on Roy's cooking can withstand direct heat from the sun!"
"EVERYONE RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Blazing Fool yelled.
"What is it now?" I asked.
"CALIBAN'S COOKING IS ON THE LOOSE!"
"You have a companion that can't cook either?" Marth asked.
"Yup. My boss can't cook at all. Her steaks are green, her juice has mushrooms in it, and her soup is banned by the government for biohazard warnings," Blazing Fool said.
"Roy's the same," Marth said. They both nodded.
"Uh guys, why is there a gigantic, evil looking steak staring at us? And why is it green?" Keba asked, the aura of doom showing plain as day on her face. A huge, walking steak advanced slowly.
"It's the horror known as Roy's cooking!" Marth said "He added what he called a secret rub and never told us the ingredients! It has a mind of its own now!"
"What did he put in there? Gym socks!" RoyalFanatic snapped.
"And why is there a rampaging lady not too far away!" Marth asked "You know having 'lady' and 'rampage' in the same sentence is never healthy!"
"That's the thing," I said.
"EVERYONE RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Kirby screamed.
"What now? Today can't get much worse as is!" I screeched.
"A big old rolling boulder is going to crush us all in approximately thirty seconds!" Kirby freaked.
"SOMEONE CALL THE ARMY!" Marth yelled.
"SOMEONE CALL THE NATIONAL GUARD!" I screamed.
"SOMEONE CALL MY MOMMY!" Blazing Fool yelled.
Caliban: SOMEONE CALL MY SCIENCE TEACHER! What? He always knows what to do.
Finally, the giant steak, Urby, and the big old rolling boulder all caught up with us
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" they all screamed their heads off, including Demon of the Black Fire, who had previously been forgotten.
"Guys, this is my entire fault! I just wanted some sugar, so I tried to escape! If I'd known the Hands would call these lunatics, I'd have never done it!" I yelled.
The steak got there first.
"AH! WHO SPAWNED THIS FOUL, EVIL CREATURE!" Blazing Fool screamed.
"Hey, there's sugar on that thing! Yum…" I said. I ate the whole steak.
"EW! There's ROSEMARY in the sauce! OH THE HORROR! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE THE HORRIBLE BURNING IN MY MOUTH STOP!" I screamed, and crumpled down on the floor.
Urby came next.
"Don't die yet, you stupid name-screwing-up-freak! I'm not done with you!" I took a rock and smacked it over my head. Hard.
"What did you do that for, you idiot!" Blazing Fool asked.
"I was hoping that would kill me faster," I replied.
"Time to end this!" Urby yelled.
Xiao Darkcloud apparently decided to be brave and used her spare grappling hook on Urby.
"Wow. That was actually pretty brave, Xiao," said Blazing Fool. Xiao blushed.
"Jeez. Make me blush, why don't you! Just disarm her already before the shock wears off," said Xiao.
"Can do," Blazing Fool replied, and knocked the gun out of Urby's hand with the tip of his flamethrower.
The big, old rolling boulder came last to stop my celebrating.
"AAAAAAAAHHH!" Marth yelled.
"This is the dumbest way to die. I mean, come on! A big old rolling boulder crushing us?" Xiao said.
"We must use the strongest weapon in our arsenal!" Blazing Fool said.
"What would that be?" I asked.
"Just dodge to the side when I say so," he replied.
"HELLO! IT'S A BIG OLD ROLLING BOULDER, EMPHASIS ON THE BIG PART!" Xiao screeched. He didn't reply, but just burned the ropes off Urby without actually burning her.
"Are you crazy? I spent the last four pages running AWAY from her!" I yelled.
"Just dodge NOW!" he yelled. We all dodged to the left, meaning me, Blazing Fool, Elfbrat, RoyalFanatic, Keba, Xiao Darkcloud, and Demon of the Black Fire, leaving Urby quite alone with the boulder.
"DESTRUCTION!" she yelled, and kicked the boulder so it landed on the already-demolished side of the mansion.
Now with Totallystrange and Doubledude.
Totallystrange and doubledude were busy having a blast, destroying what was left the already destroyed side of the mansion.
"Hey, Totallystrange," doubledude said. Totallystrange fired off another round, destroying a nearly destroyed wall.
"Yeah?" he asked.
"Why is there a big old falling boulder right above us?" doubledude asked. Totallystrange had a split second to fire off another round at the big old falling boulder before it crushed them.
Demon of the Black Fire came over.
"Thank goodness you didn't get crushed by that big old falling boulder. That would have been a horribly clichéd death," she said.
"Yeah, and…?" doubledude asked.
"You guys are hereby kicked off the mission of malicious destruction. Now get out of here!" she snapped.
"But why? I was just getting to the fun part!" Totallystrange snapped back. Doubledude fired off his dual-guns at Demon of the Black Fire.
"Yeah!" he agreed.
"You've had enough fun causing the explosion that blew up half the mansion! Now MOVE!" she snapped, taking out a whip and cracking it menacingly. The destructive duo grudgingly left the building, but not before Totallystrange fired a goodbye round that destroyed a whole wall. There was another TV there, with HyperMew on.
"This is HyperMew the hyper kitty, here live at the Smash Mansion, where SSBECF was been destroying pretty much everything in sight. Worse still, no one can seem to find resident loudmouth Falco Lombardi has been missing. His companion Fox McCloud has this to say!"
"Although he's an annoying, dangerously competitive loudmouth, Falco's my companion, and he needs to come home."
"Okay, so if you see an annoying bird that looks like this…" HyperMew paused and a picture of Falco being arrested was shown "…please call to 666-777-888 extension 555 to let us know where he is! Come on people! He's too annoying for any other part of the world!"
"You know, I wish they'd bring back Mew the Psychic Kitty. She's a lot nicer," doubledude said.
"I don't know…she's not THAT bad," Totallystrange said.
"Yes she is."
"No."
"Yes."
"NO!"
Annoyed, Totallystrange fired a round at doubledude.
"AAAAAAHHH! PSYCHO ON THE LOOOSE!" doubledude screamed, and began running, Totallystrange hot on his heels.
Now Back with Yoshi.
"Ugh…I HATE rosemary! It was never meant to go in food!" I groaned.
"I don't know. I kind of like rosemary," said Blazing Fool.
"DESTRUCTION!" Urby yelled.
"Yeah, yeah, we get the-"
"EVERYONE RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" doubledude screamed.
"It's getting sad how many times we're hearing that," Elfbrat said, who had previously been forgotten.
"We don't care what we're running from, WE'RE GETTING THE HECK OUTTA HERE!" RoyalFanatic screeched. She decided to be the hero, and grabbed Keba and Xiao Darkcloud, and began running as fast as her legs would carry her.
"HEY! Come back here! We're not done here until the mansion is destroyed-uh….I mean until Yoshi is captured!" Urby yelled, and chased after them.
"What are we doing standing here? LET'S GO BE COWARDS AND RUN FOR IT!" I yelled.
"NO! That only makes Totallystrange madder! Duck low and hope he misses!" doubledude cowered with fear.
"Doubledude, that's a horrible idea! What did you say to get him mad in the first place! You know he normally has a clear head that keeps him from rampaging!" Blazing Fool snapped.
"Who cares? I SAY WE RUN!" And run we did. The only ones left were me, Blazing Fool, and Elfbrat. And the only direction to run was into the mansion, with stray ammunition firing every which way. A huge explosion occurred, which destroyed what was left of the mansion and even sent a few people flying.
When the smoke cleared, the only person left standing was Demon of the Black Fire.
"This is stupid! You're all fired! In fact, I'm calling over Boss!" Demon of the Black Fire snapped, taking out her cell phone and dialling her boss's number.
"Oh no you're not," Blazing Fool said, taking out his flamethrower. Demon of the Black Fire cracked her whip threateningly.
"Take another step, Blazing Fool, and you're toast," she snapped. She snatched Blazing Fool's flamethrower with her whip and tossed it as far as she could. Blazing Fool ran after it.
"You evil lady! Blazing Fool loves his flamethrower. I'm taking you out!" Elfbrat raved. She took out a grappling hook, the fight of a life time about to happen when…Demon of the Black Fire's boss picked up on the other line.
"Man, when I find out who's calling me in the middle of the greatest steak in the world, I'll-"
"Boss, put down your steak. These…these idiots have destroyed Smash Mansion! Come over here and give them a piece of your mind!" Demon of the Black Fire snapped.
"Fine. But I'd better not see that you fools destroyed the whole mansion just because the mansion ran out of sugar and someone brave tried to leave," the boss said, and hung up.
"Well, I don't care! I'm going to follow Urby's orders and I'm going to capture you!" Demon of the Black Fire growled.
"Let's make it a clean fight," I said. Demon of the Black Fire took out her whip. I threw sand in her eyes and ran for my life.
Unfortunately, Totallystrange survived his run-in with the mansion and teamed up with Urby to destroy.
"DESTRUCTION!" they both yelled, and they were heading right for me.
"DESTRUCTION!" Demon of the Black Fire yelled, and she was heading for me.
"MY FLAMETHROWER!" Blazing Fool yelled, and he was heading right for me too.
"IT'S OVER!" Keba, RoyalFanatic, and Xiao Darkcloud yelled, and they were heading right for me as well.
"SALVATION!" I yelled, and it seemed like all was lost when…
"Ta-da! Caliban to the rescue!" someone yelled, as they swung down on a grappling hook that was hanging onto a tree not too far away. They grabbed me.
"YOU SAVED ME!" I yelled.
"I don't have a choice, actually. Every time I deploy these idiots they manage to destroy everything in sight," she said.
"Who are you?" I asked.
"Caliban the Boss of SSBECF. But my friends call me Caliban the Wizard," she said.
"Why'd you do it?" I asked.
"I heard about it in a review. Someone was always wondering why I don't come in to save the day or something like that. I'm always against self-inserts, but hey. Every author does it at least once. Believe me when I say you'd never catch me risking my own neck in real life. Oh, here's your stop," Caliban said, and dropped me into Master Hand's office. She later forgot to jump off as well and smacked face first into a tree.
"Ow…I'm never saving the day again…"
The SSBECF was standing underneath the tree, to catch their boss.
"Guys, it's time to go. Demon of the Black Fire, go call a chopper. We're getting out of here. Oh, and ask for the mansion repair bills later," Caliban said. And so they left.
"This is HyperMew with a breaking news report! Samus Aran has saved us all from a horrible Metroid invasion! Someone give that girl a medal or something, because she rules!"
Three Hours Later…
"So that's the whole story," Yoshi said.
"You mean to tell me Caliban ACTUALLY came!" Master Hand asked.
"Yup," Yoshi replied.
"And we ACTUALLY ran out of sugar!" Crazy Hand asked.
"True," Yoshi agreed.
"Well, considering the rosemary incident, that's punishment enough. All you have to do now is sign a contract stating you'll never go AWOL again," Crazy Hand said.
"Do I have to?" he asked.
"Yes," Master Hand said.
"But how did this office survive the blast anyways?" Yoshi asked.
"It's underground. You honestly think we're stupid enough to let our offices get blown up?" Crazy Hand asked.
"…yeah, actually," Yoshi replied.
"That's it. Turn off the Yo-Translator. After you sign that contract, you're out of here and helping with the rebuilding of the mansion," Master Hand snapped.
Yoshi simply sighed.
Author's Notes: Wow! Longest Chapter to date! Was it an excuse to get all the kind reviewers in there? Maybe? Was it an excuse to get ME in there? Probably not. I don't know, I remember having a review where someone said they were expecting me to come in and save the day. And so I did. Here's hoping you people liked it! And by the way, they all went back home in the end, ALL of them, even Elfbrat and RoyalFanatic and Blazing Fool…
Reviews:
Yeah, here's the list.
Tweedlehat: Link
Tweedlecap: Young Link
Alexander Graham Bell: Mister Game and Watch
Mysterious Plumber 'M': Mario
Long: Peach
Butterball Baboon: Donkey Kong
The racing veteran Russell Crow: Captain Falcon
Hitler Kitty: Mewtwo
Blue Pansy: Marth
Fire-Addict Rex: Roy
Dr. Quakensteiner: Dr. Mario
Pink Lady: Zelda
Scary Grey Child: Sheik
Shocker: Pikachu
Zap: Pichu
Uni-brow Man: Ganondorf. His eyebrows go into his sideburns!
Spiked Binky: Bowser
Green Nightmare: I got SO many people with this! Luigi!
Eskimo Lad: Popo
Frosty the Snow Girl: Nana
Crazy/murderous: Samus
Bubble gum: Kirby
Swirl head: Jigglypuff
Scary Chicken wannabe: Falco
Eyeliner Foxy: Fox
And Yoshi was busy being pursued by the Super Smash Brothers Escapee Control Faction. Now for the reviews!
Reviews:
Urby:
You got the whole list right, so you became the team commander! That's right. Urby won the contest, she's at the top of the totem pole, if you want a bigger part, complain.
Yeah, as commander you're the best fighter, 'cause your aim rules, you're really good with a grappling hook, and you generally kick butt even without weapons. Unfortunately, you've got a thing about the name…
Totallystrange:
You poor, poor soul. Having to get up a six o'clock every morning! You're list was more or less right. You were the victim of the Green Nightmare thing! But you were fun to write about…and your machine gun almost never misses. This is why you're second in command with Blazing Fool!
You've got Demon of the Black Fire on your butt constantly for not wearing a uniform, but you don't care anyways. You're also the youngest operative at SSBECF.
Elfbrat18:
Again, I got ya! Ah…I got so many people with the Green Nightmare thing… But you were cool. If you think I forgot about you somewhere in the chapter, complain and the next time SSBECF show up, I'll give you a bigger part.
You're the new girl, but so what? You kick serious butt, and have been known to cause mayhem with Blazing Fool. Lean, mean fighting machine, that's you. You have a gun and a grappling hook, but you're not into the whole killing thing so you don't use your gun too often. Did I forget to mention its paintball bullets in there? You don't think I'd make it so you can KILL people with the guns, do you?
Blazing Fool:
Possibly the only sensible person on the whole team, and you love your flamethrower. I couldn't help it. I love the puns…Your list was accurate. YAY! You're second in command with Totallystrange, you come up with the game plans, and if Urby is ever ill you take over 'because your clear head and leadership skills are second to none.
You spelled the word 'doujinshi' right, and let me tell you that you DON'T want to get involved. It's when people write their own version of a manga or whatever, like if you want more Inuyasha or anything like that some people draw it and stuff. Unfortunately, there are some REALLY dirty stuff out there…
Ah…this is why Newgrounds is BANNED in my home. The only violence ever approved had better not be gory or anything like that, because it screws around with heads.
Doubledude:
VERY ACCURATE LIST! Unfortunately, I already had the idea for the chapter in my head when you came up with this amazing list. Maybe that's why I took so long with the chapter. While it only took a day or two to write, since I'm a fast typer, I just wanted to wait and see all the people who entered lists to be fair.
By the way, I checked out your profile, and we've got some very similar tastes. I LOVE KING K. ROOL! He's HILARIOUS! He makes me laugh…
On the team, you're Xiao Darkcloud's partner, and with your dual-guns no one tries to mess with you, your head, your partner, your family, your pudding…
Xiao Darkcloud:
Perhaps a little evil, but a brave and strong gal nonetheless. On the team, you're third in command being the strongest next to Elfbrat.
Accurate list, very accurate in fact. But again, I got people with the little Green Nightmare thing. I expect you people to complain about that, since I was EVIL and made that one too hard.
Keba:
Did you even send in a list? NO! Then why are you in my chapter? BECAUSE IT WAS FUN! No list, so you were at the bottom of the totem with RoyalFanatic, always getting into silly fights, even though you had solid fighting skills.
Anyways, methinks you DID send in a list. I just forgot since my other Chapter Six reviews have mysteriously disappeared…
Ri2:
I'm mad as well. I WANT TWILIGHT PRINCESS! Yup, it was strange. But Keba said she liked the war on pudding!
RoyalFanatic:
Also known as Cecilia Aurion. Yes, you are related to Kratos, yes I've beaten the game before, and yes, I LOVE KRATOS! Maybe you aren't a girly girl her paints her nails and grows them and whatnot. Whatever. All we know is that you're a good fighter who's unfortunately getting into too many fights with Keba.
I had fun with that, definitely. You and Keba are Xiao Darkcloud's subordinates, although you rarely listen to her and think of her more as a companion than anything else.
Demon of the Black Fire:
Why are you at the bottom of the list? How come you didn't have a bigger part? Why did you get such a lame-o part being the hot secretary running everything at SSBECF? How come I'm asking you all this!
Yup, you're the brains behind the brawn at the SSBECF. In fact, if they didn't have you to nag them, no one would ever get the job done. When you're not running everywhere doing everything, or complaining about having such a short skirt in your uniform, you're out there fighting with you whip. Pretty cool huh? If you were as good a fighter as Urby, you'd be a higher rank but for now you're somewhere in between first and second in command for your accurate list.
Okay, time to go. This is Caliban the Wizard, signing out.