A/N: Simple, random fic. Same kinda thing as 'Tales of an Elf' and 'More Tales of an Elf'. In fact, this could very well be a 'Tales of an Elf' spin off. We shall have to wait and see.

Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings etc, but I do own or have joint ownership of anything you don't recognise.

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Legolas sighed, and flopped onto his bed. The downside of this action was that he landed on his cat, Naomi, who had been happily snoozing there for precisely 32 minutes. Once more, Legolas sighed, and disentangled Naomi's claws from his scalp. He was remarkably bored, and now even more so, having discovered that flopping onto your bed and on top of your cat was a really bad cure for boredom.

Naomi, ever forgiving, padded over to him and sat on his lap.

"Cheer up" She said, "You'll find something to do!"

"AAAAAAARGH!" Legolas screamed girlishly in reply to his cat's caring and sympathetic remark.

"Charming." Was the nonplussed Naomi's reaction.

"You can talk!"

"I know."

"Yes but...you can talk!"

"I know!"

"You never talked before!"

"Maybe I didn't feel like it."

"...You can talk!"

"Is it me, or is this conversation going round in circles? Now, you can either accept that I can talk and we can go on many strange and random adventures, or you can carry on repeating yourself and I'll go find a new elf, ok?"

"Ok, ok, I accept it. But you have to admit, talking cat's are rather rare."

"Yeah, well, you always knew I was special, right? Otherwise, why would you have kept calling me 'Special Widdle Puddy Cat'?"

Legolas reddened, "Well, I wasn't expecting you to reply, was I? Besides, most of the time I just called you Naomi..."

The Cat nodded gravely, "Yeah, about that. The name is Nogm."

"Nogm?"

"Yes."

"Okay then..."

"There is nothing wrong with the name Nogm!"

There was such a fierce look in Nogm's eyes that the elf hastily backed off.

"Ok, I'm sorry! Nogm is...er...a lovely name and it suits you very much."

"That's better. Now, what do you want to do to stop feeling so bored?"

"I don't know, if I knew, I'd be doing it by now and I wouldn't be bored anymore so you wouldn't be asking me what I wanted to do to stop being bored and I wouldn't have to be telling you that I don't know and that that fact's pretty obvious!"

Nogm simply sat back and watched as Legolas' face turned quite a pretty shade of purple from lack of oxygen. However, she refrained from commenting on this, as it would probably result in her getting kicked across the room. And, much as she liked the opposite wall, she wasn't really in the mood to go flying into it.

Instead, she put on her sympathetic kitty face; a face which had won her many kitty-treats over the years. Unfortunately, on this occasion Legolas was too busy being purple to notice.

"There there." She leapt onto his shoulders and steered him by strands of his hair out of the door. It wasn't until they had got halfway down the corridor that Legolas got back his breath and noticed.

"Erm...where are we going?"

"We are going, my dear elf, to get a horse and find an adventure so you won't be bored anymore!"

"Oh..."

"Would you rather stay at home and develop a lamp fetish?"

"I guess not."

"Then we will go on an adventure. Giddy up!"

"I am not a horse!"

"At least we have one thing in common."

"At least stop pulling on my hair..."

"Aww, but it's so fun! And I have to find some way to amuse myself that doesn't include catching mice or chasing my tail. A cat needs a little variety in her life."

"And that's why you're coming with me?"

"No. But who's going to feed me if I stay behind?"

"The other elves?"

"...I'm coming anyway!"

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A/N: There ya go, the first chapter of fanfic I've written in months! Hopefully you enjoyed it, review and tell me! Pretty please?

Oh yeah, Nogm's name is pronounced Nog-Umm, in case anybody wasn't sure about that. It's there at special request of the person Nogm's based on.