Caliban's Chattering:
Yep. Halloween. Cheesy TV specials run rampant. Children walking around in silly costumes. Teenagers extorting candy off old people with their frightening stun guns. And a Halloween chapter by yours truly! Heh. Bet you didn't see that coming.
Disclaimer: I really liked the tea, Mister Miyamoto! But some Ceylon tea would be nicer. Cheer me on, kind reviewers, as I storm the Nintendo building again!
Alannah: Wait, you idiot! Oh man…Tesla, she's dead!
Tesla: We have to go in there and save her! She'd do the same for us.
Alannah: I've never seen you so determined.
Tesla: I want to ask Shigeru Miyamoto when Twilight Princess is coming out. I'm tired of waiting.
Readers: So are we, Tesla. So are we.
Zelda's First Halloween!
I'm Zelda, of Hyrule, and right now, that is all I plan to say. I'm in a tournament. What kind of tournament you ask? A tennis tournament? A clash of cooking? No. This is a phenomenon. The only test there really is to measure one's fighting spirit. Super Smash Brother Melee.
Heroes from all over gather to fight each other in a wide variety of places, in a wide variety of fighting styles. I came here with my companion Link in hopes of winning the coveted title of 'Best Fighter in the Universe'. When we aren't fighting, we simply relax in Hal Laboratory's specially-designed mansion, the Smash Mansion.
For now, however, the tournament is in a stand-still. Why, do you ask? As you must know, this whole tournament is managed by two mysterious, floating hands. I've long suspected these hands belong to someone by the name of Shigeru Miyamoto, but no one knows for sure. The left hand is Master Hand, a little breath of sophistication amidst all the sadistic fighting. His right is Crazy Hand, well-named for his unpredictable fighting and…Texan accent. They have a big book of rules and regulations which even they adhere to. Once in a blue moon, this rule book called 'The Way to Smash' is updated at the Nintendo building in Tokyo, Japan. So when they're gone, they call off all fighting plans and declare it a free day. This year, it's just our luck that Free Day corresponds with Visitor's Day, as well as what Ness calls 'Halloween'.
Free Day. People do things they never normally would, hence the name, Free Day. For example, Samus walks around the house without her suit, wearing a big old tee over her underwear and spends the day watching sumo with Falco. Ganondorf tries his hand at gardening. Luigi and Mewtwo go into these deep philosophical discussions. I hit the beach with Doctor Mario. Peach goes shopping with Pichu.
But for some strange reason, I've been appointed assistant manager in the Hands' absence, and often take lead, meaning of course I have to make sure people don't end up doing things too over the top. You know of course this is CLEARLY a babysitting job. I have to stop Nana from drinking antifreeze, wake up the grumpy sleepyheads, and worst of all…help the younger ones get dressed. I feel like a nanny whenever Free Day happens, because it usually means everything BUT Free-Day for me.
Visiting Day. Now, this day is a bundle of joy for everyone, even me. I bring my dad over, we spend the day in the spa, relaxing and chatting. Marth brings his girlfriend over, Donkey Kong and his pal Diddy golf, the list goes on. We have a banquet for the guests and then they head home on the Rainbow Cruise. Best of all, the fights are cancelled for that day as well. It's like Free Day only better. Crowding becomes a real problem on this day. The patio is always the first to go. And don't get me started on food. I once went shopping three times on Visiting Day. People pull out all the stops to impress their guests, so you can imagine…
Halloween. This may seem odd, but I've never actually had a Halloween of any sort. The last two times there has been a Halloween celebration I've never been around to celebrate it, be it out shopping, or being locked in the training room. This year, Link is determined to have the best Halloween ever, but this time he wants me there too. He's very determined once you get him going. He even went costume shopping with Peach, just so he could find a good costume for me. And not just him. Most every Smasher is helping out with the costumes and decorations and especially the food.
My job is to make sure the guests have Halloween costumes, name tags, and dinner. Oh, all the Smashers have been working nonstop since yesterday!
I can just tell today will be something.
Zelda's Halloween in the Smash Mansion…
I woke up today by sneezing. Yes, it's very unpleasant to sneeze very first thing in the morning. Apparently Peach left me a note.
Dear Zelda,
Pichu and I have gone costume shopping for the guests without you. Don't worry, Pichu is there to help me pick things that aren't pink. Your job now is to greet the guests as they come in, and give them some breakfast. It's already on the table. Don't forget the name tags!
Sincerely,
Peach
P.S. Your breakfast is on the nightstand. Ask Link for details. Cheerio!
I crumpled up the letter angrily. That Peach sometimes!
I stared at the tray she left on my nightstand. It was an assortment of fruit arranged to look like a bunny, with a bunny rabbit mug of tea.
"It's so hard to stay mad at her!" I said, gratefully wolfing down breakfast.
I put the empty plate and mug back down, and walked up to my closet.
Now this was a tough decision. I wanted to wear something breathable because today was going to be a lot of work, but…I wanted to wear something nice for my father coming in today.
I opened the closet and found nothing but my usual dresses, all made of one hundred percent shiny polyester.
"I suppose Peach wouldn't mind my borrowing a few dresses…" I opened the closet, and instantly, a white cotton sundress with a pink bow on the back fell out. The bow was designed to look like a peony, and it a note pinned onto it.
Dear Zelda,
Wow. We talk more in notes than we do in real life. This is a dress, it's for you, and it also doubles as a Halloween costume until further notice. If anyone asks who you're dressed as, say 'Peony'. Bye now. Tee hee.
-Peach.
"She's more prepared than I am! Jeez. I need out of this room," I thought, quickly slipped the dress over my head, and dashed out.
Unfortunately, I had a knack that day of whacking into things. This was the whack that started it all.
WHACK!
"Ow…" I groaned. I looked up.
"Oh. Link. Wow, you've really gotten taller," I observed.
"It's the stilts. I'm actually Young Link," said Young Link.
"Is this part of your costume?" I asked.
"No. I'm using them to pick up Saria. She's going to fall from the sky today," Young Link said "My costume is Spongebob. I still can't get his laugh down though, and it's making me mad!" Young Link stilted off, grumbling about Tom Kenny's rare vocal cords.
I sighed, and whacked into someone again. This time it was Mario.
"MAMAMIA! Peach, since when did you come back?" Mario gasped.
"I'm not Peach. I'm Zelda. It's the dress," I replied.
"Is it your costume? Wow, great-a job! You look just-a like that little girl from Cardcaptor Sakura! Now all you need is the little pig tails!" he said.
"Uh…actually, I'm Peony!" I said, smiling my brightest.
"From where? Ah well, maybe Marth knows who Peony is! Anyways, I'm going as Fred Flintstone this Halloween!" he said, puffing out his chest and look heroic.
"I think it'll work! Now, I have to go greet the guests. Bye now," I said, and zoomed down the stairs.
I whacked into yet another person. This time it was Dr. Mario.
"Hey, Zelda. What's-a the big rush? We're supposed to hit the beach-a! I bought some pistachio gelato and some of that tropical punch we always drink!" he said.
"Sorry, not right now, doc. I have to greet the guests. I'll go a little later. If you manage to keep the antifreeze away from Nana I'll treat you a free coconut smoothie at the beach in the afternoon! My dad's coming over for the morning and-"
"Understood. I'll even keep Kirby out of the toilet bowl cleaner as a plus, if you upgrade the smoothie to a non-alcoholic pina colada," I nodded, and with that Dr. Mario left.
I rushed to the door, the guests were going to be in any second now! And…I whacked into yet another person. And it was Link, finally.
"HI Zelda! What's shaking?" he asked cheerfully.
"W-what are you wearing?" I asked, bewildered.
"I'm going as the red-head Yunsung from Soul Caliber. And he's going as me. In fact, he's my guest today! And here he comes. You better answer that door," Link said, and then walked off calmly, leaving me alone with a basket full of nametags and a doorstep of anxious visitors.
With all the cheerfulness I could muster, I opened the door. Oh! How I hated being dumped with the cheerful hostess job!
"Hello! Welcome to the Smash Mansion, address 411 in the Smash Estates, in case anyone was wondering! As honored guests you get a cool nametag and your choice of a costume, if you wish to stay the night! However, those won't be arriving until five in the afternoon, so until then feel free to explore the grounds! And for guests here for the day, I trust you to all have a fantastic time as you spend time with well-loved companions. Take your name tag as you enter and please try and keep it on unless you want to introduce yourself twenty five times. Thank you," I said. I held out the basket as people swarmed in.
"Hey! I know you. You're Link's friend right? Zelda, was it?" someone with red hair asked. That must have been Yunsung.
"That's me. Wow. You pulled off Link's costume well," I commented.
"Yeah. He's a cosplayer's dream, that guy. The hardest part was the gauntlets. So, who are you? Wait…let me guess. Tohru from Fruits Basket, right? You're just missing the little ribbons…" he commented.
"I'm Peony, actually. Well, take a nametag and enjoy yourself! There's a sumo match on right now. The living room is right there," I said, pointing. Yunsung wasted no time rushing there with a 'GO VICIOUS VENUSAUR!' tee and a drink hat.
People kept on accepting nametags.
"Yeah, uh…do you know where Marth's room is? I'm his girlfriend, Sheeda," a girl said.
"Yeah. It's fourth door on the left. Enjoy your stay," I said.
"By the way, I like your costume. Like mine?" she asked.
"If you were going for Kaname Chidori from Full Metal Panic, you did a good job!" I said. She bowed in thanks and ran upstairs.
More people entered the foyer, commenting on my pretty dress and other such terribly unoriginal comments.
But one comment stuck out.
"What a lovely dress young lady-Zelda?" I turned my head and my smile became three thousand times brighter.
"Father!" I said, giving him a big hug.
"I'm happy to see you too, Zelda. That really is a lovely dress. Would you mind if I waited in the foyer until you are finished greeting the guests?" he asked.
"That would be excellent! They've added a mineral water Jacuzzi to the spa. It's a must," I replied, and turned back to the guest, who shook my hand, grabbed his name tag and left to look for Fox.
Everything was going great. There was only one name tag left, which I hadn't bothered to check.
Someone burst into the room with such an intensity I nearly cowered in fear.
"W-welcome to Smash Mansion! H-how may I help you?" I asked.
"You look like…Annabelle…" he muttered.
"Excuse me sir?" I asked, still 'jittery as all get-out' as Crazy hand might have said. He was wearing a hat with a very wide brim, and a poncho, and…guns in holsters on both hips. That must have been his costume. Well, he took off his hat, and said in a clear voice:
"You look like my nanny Annabelle. You're just missing the two braids." It turned out to be a kid, no more than seven, who unfortunately was as big as a telephone pole.
"My costume is actually Peony. Aren't you…big?" I asked nervously, hoping for an explanation.
"I know. I wished myself big, and now, every time I talk, I grow some more. That's why I was just big before, and now I'm a giant. Oh DEAR!" he squealed, as he grew some more. "I've shot through the roof! You don't have something that will make me small, do you?" he asked, growing so big his head really shot through the roof.
"Unfortunately, I don't. But why don't you just wish yourself smaller again? I'll even help you!" I replied, smiling.
"Are you a wishing peony? I remember at my garden back home, Annabelle called the peony in the garden a wishing peony," the child said, bending down.
"Yes. I'm a…wishing peony. Now just wish yourself small," I said.
"I have to be holding you. That's what made me big in the first place," he said. I sighed, and hopped into his lower hand. He closed his eyes and POOF! He was small again. And…shrinking. I stepped away from him before he was shrunk into oblivion.
"Oh no! Oh no! What will Annabelle say when I come back tiny?" he asked, hopping up and down.
"You had better stay with me until I find a way to turn you back," I said, and dropped him onto my shoulder.
"My nametag!" he cried. I picked out the last one, which read 'Fabio' in big bold letters on it, and carefully pinned it to the strap on my shoulder, where Fabio had unfortunately fallen asleep.
My father was waiting in a corner, reading a graphic novel when I came back.
"Oh. Where did that big fellow run off to?" he asked, slipping the comic book into his storage place underneath his shirt.
"He's right here. On my shoulder," I said, pointing to Fabio, who woke up. My father peered at him.
"My goodness. You've certainly shrunk," he observed. Fabio stretched his arms.
"Yes. I'm sure you can relate. I hear old people get tiny as they age," he said, yawning.
"Well, I'm going to be okay. But you're still a boy. You must return to normal size sooner or later. Puberty isn't going to be for a while," Father said.
"You're right!" Fabio said, suddenly inspired "I don't want to be the size of a cockroach my whole life! I'll get stepped on! And then I'll never finish that steak they sell at Montana's Steak Hut!" My father took Fabio off my shoulder, and began heading for the library.
"There goes a day at the spa…" I groaned. Dr. Mario mysteriously appeared from the hallway, holding that bucket of pistachio gelato.
"Let's hit the beach!" he cheered.
"But first I need to-"
"Lunch has been taken care of, the kitchen is clean, all chemicals have been placed in the vault, and everyone has woken up. Peach is back with costumes so you don't need to worry about the guests." And with that, he dragged me off to the Smash Beach.
Considering it was Halloween, the beach should have been cold and rainy. It SHOULD have been, and yet it the pavement was scorching hot. I felt I was melting even in my nice, breathable sundress. And Dr. Mario was enjoying an ice cold smoothie with much enthusiasm. It was that hot. And we were ten feet from the mansion, too! Yes, we have our own beach.
Suddenly, the ground began shaking violently, as well as the mansion. A loud 'AAAAAAAH!' was heard after a large bang.
Yes, sometimes some very strange things happen in the mansion.
"Oh dear. I'll have to come back to you, Doc. Something's gone wrong in the mansion," I gasped, and rushed inside.
There was chaos in the mansion. People were fighting in the hallways. The kitchens were mauled. Toilet paper was thrown onto the ceilings as though they were streamers. There were DK-shaped holes in successive walls, leading me to think perhaps he'd been whacked straight through the lot of them. No wonder. People were running around with weapons so dangerous, the only people certified to use them were the SSBECF and the Smashers. Speaking of Smashers, most able-bodied Smashers were lying defeated on the sullied carpeting. Marth and Roy had gotten into another fight which REALLY destroyed things.
Someone threw Nana in a cage, who was currently crying softly from WAY up somewhere. Popo was hanging precariously from a chandelier with only a rope to save him from an unpleasant death. Link and Yunsung, for some reason, were tied up in the middle of the living room, yelling and screaming through their gags. For some reason or another, the foyer had a little bonfire in it, where all the guests were singing campfire songs and playing Truth or Dare.
Worse still, someone had gotten into everyone's closets and currently all MY clothing, as well as everyone else's belongings were thrown about. What almost made me cry was that someone was using my favorite pink dress as a napkin to wipe barbeque sauce off.
Oh, and someone stole Samus' tee so now she was turning the place upside down for her suit.
If only you could have seen my face. I would have looked like my soul had been murdered right within me, just in the rage and bitterness.
"ALL OF YOU ARE DEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAD! WHEN I'M THROUGH WITH YOU, YOU WON'T JUST SEE STARS, YOU'LL SEE A WHOLE DARN UNIVERSE!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.
It was like time stopped. The fear on people's faces was plain as day. I could see Yunsung almost crying through his gag. But I was merciless. I grabbed a shuriken that had somehow gotten stuck into a wall, and snapped:
"The next person who stands there gaping and not cleaning up this mess has officially just dug their own grave! I'll bet someone in this room would like a nice big shuriken shooting up their esophagus!"
You should have seen them run. They grabbed sponges, vacuum cleaners, and floor waxing machines. I broke the janitor's closet door and freed Snappy Joe. But I wasn't really worried about any of that. I took the shuriken and untied Link and Yunsung, the two of which were so overjoyed to be free they gave me a crushing hug.
"Okay, great. But what on earth happened here?" I asked.
"Have you ever heard of processed sugar?" Yunsung asked.
"We were watching sumo when a guest with a garbage bag full of stolen Halloween candy came in," Link added.
"We tried calming the sugar fanatics down, but they were like primates. They tied us up and they stole Link's pants!" Yunsung said.
"Things span out of control. This kid turned into a giant and we had to send him outside," Link said. Suddenly, Link's trousers were thrown at his head. "Hey! I got my pants back!" He quickly slipped them on.
"So the rest, as they say, is history," Yunsung said. He did this impossible jump, grabbed Nana's cage, and freed her.
"I'm FREEEE! Thank you ever so much! I thought I was going to die up there, it was so small in there. I'm kind of claustrophobic!" Nana squealed.
Yunsung jumped back down with her with all the grace and speed of…well, he's kind of in that special class of speed, usually reserved for Fox and Falco.
"I was due for a cool moment. Now Link, I hear you've got a rec room in here…" Yunsung said.
"Race you to the Air Hockey table?" Link asked, grinning.
"Like you had to ask!" Yunsung said, and sped off with Link.
I sighed. Sooner or later they were going to get lost…and I still had to eat something, because I'd missed breakfast. I had to get this place cleaned up before Peach came back from shopping with Pichu. And I still had to round up all the guests and give them lunch. Oh, and what of Fabio?
So many responsibilities! I wondered how Peach pulled it off day after day. Admittedly, she didn't have twice the number of people do deal with, but she did do all the cooking when the maids were out, as well as the shopping. For all I know, she also did the cleaning. I wasn't sure where to start. This must be where the to-do list came from.
I figured my first priority was getting the mansion cleaned, and admittedly everyone was doing a good job. Although Mario and Yoshi looked more like Ren and Stimpy, with Yoshi acting like a vacuum cleaner at the apparent lack of appliances.
Young Link was washing some stains off the wall, perched on Luigi's shoulders, Luigi also washing some stains. As this cleaning effort continued, I entered the kitchen to go make lunch.
The kitchen was nearly empty because of the eating spree that had happened in the twenty short minutes while I was gone.
"Oh dear. What shall I do?" I wondered. Then the little light bulb in my head clicked.
"Captain Falcon, when the clock hits one thirty, pull every last one of the packets out of the oven," I said. He dropped his broom and straightened his apron.
"But there aren't any packets in the oven!" As he said that, I emptied the freezer off all frozen dinners and shoved them into the oven.
"Those should work for lunch. Now to find Fabio…" I said, and rushed out of the kitchen.
I walked out into the courtyard, and among the trees, I found Fabio, who was at least three times the height of a telephone pole and just as wide.
He bent down and peered out me.
"My goodness. It's so high up everyone looks like ants," he said "Oh dear. I have a nosebleed. Hit the decks, Annabelle."
"PEONY!" I yelled. "Now, Fabio, did you wish yourself big again?"
"I had a conversation. When I was small, I was still growing. And I need my nanny!" he cried.
"It's okay!" I yelled back. "If you keep talking, you grow right? Well, if you're quiet, maybe you'll shrink instead! Perhaps you'll just have to keep a cycle of quiet and loud!"
"B-but Annabelle! What am I going to do?" he asked, and began crying.
"Maybe you should try this wishing thing one more time.." I said, and hopped into his hand as soon as he lowered it.
"Just wish to be Fabio again, and I'm sure it will work this time," I said.
He shut his eyes, as a glow overcame him. Suddenly, with a POOF! He was a back to normal size.
"I-I did it! I did it! Thank you! I KNEW you were a wishing peony!" he cheered.
I bit my lip, and swallowed thickly.
"Well, Fabio, actually I'm…I'm not a wishing peony. I'm just in a dress with a ribbon. I'm not magical at all," I lied, since of course I was plenty magical. But my magic didn't help him at all.
"So…so you mean that…" Fabio stammered.
"That's right Fabio. The magic was in you the whole time. Now go home before you smash more of the mansion up," I said. He shrugged and walked off into the horizon, whacking into the electrical fence.
I was glad my whacking curse had finally caught someone else. I walked back into the mansion just in time to see it spotless, with Captain Falcon pulling out several frozen dinner packets from the oven.
I didn't even need to round up the people for lunch. As soon as they smelled food, they gathered in the dining room, even Father who had previous been missing.
"So then I was trying to get the Door of Time open but then…" Apparently my father and Link were having an animated discussion about how Link saved Hyrule.
So after lunch, things were going great. I was stuffed. I came close to singing Hakuna Matata. The last thing for me to do was to check on the Smashers, one by one.
The sleeping quarters are all in one long corridor, but there are only so many rooms that can handle hyperactive fighters. Which is why the best rooms go to the Smashers in twosomes.
Fox and Falco's room was empty save their guest, Peppy Hare who was busy reading a book.
"I hope you're enjoying yourself," I said.
"Very much. It's quite peaceful in here," he said, and continued reading. I left it at that.
In Link and Young Link's room, it was completely empty. On the table there was a note.
'Gone Gaming. Be back whenever. –Young Link'.
I sighed. And it seemed that every room contained this note and their names signed except for one.
Marth and Roy's room. That room was locked tight! Of course, saving Snappy Joe had its perks.
"Alright, I'd better not see another-" I stopped mid-sentence, my mouth hanging wide open.
"You know what your problem is, Marth? You never take risks! On Free Day you just lock yourself in your room with the air conditioner on high watching Dot Hack Sign! You NEVER TAKE RISKS!"
"I never take risks, huh?" Marth asked, eerily calm. He grabbed Roy and gave him a big wet one. Marth saw me out of the corner of his eye and tossed a shoe at me as hard as he could.
It hit dead center, bringing me back to reality. I ran out of the room and locked the door behind me, gasping for breath. I rubbed the smarting shoe print off my face.
Sheeda was out there as well.
"I was just going to ask for a few Pocky and then I saw it!" she cried, tears draining out of her eyes.
"I know! It made my eyes burn…" I replied, still struggling to breathe.
"Who'd have thought…? I'm so dumping him! But first I need video games! And Pocky!" Sheeda snapped.
"Third floor, fourth door on the left!" I replied, and followed her. I was going to join her in the elevator but the door closed to fast, whacking me in the face again.
My whack quota was definitely due.
The next elevator finally came, and not a moment too soon. I heard the door bell ring.
I rushed inside without a thought, and whacked into Link. Ah well. Better Link than the cold, merciless elevator wall.
"Hmm…something smells like a boiled radish…" I thought.
"Yeah. That's me. Your dad, Yunsung, and I just had the best dip in the hot-spring spa of our lives. You really got to try it sometime. A free back rub with every trip!" he said, grinning.
If looks could kill, Link would be dead. But then, Peach was going to be here any second.
"I don't have time for this!" I snapped, and ran off.
Just my luck, I walked into Peach the moment I got out of the elevator. She was dragging along a huge, wheeled wardrobe of Halloween costumes, with Pichu on her shoulder.
"I've got dinner in the kitchen! Oh, and here's your new costume!" she said, picking a costume of the wardrobe.
"I want to keep this one," I said. Peach dropped the costume in shock.
"A-are you sure?" she asked. I nodded.
"Very well. I'll be handing out the costumes now. You don't have to play hostess any more. Thanks for filling in. I'll give you a thank-you present later," Peach said, smiling.
"Okay then. Thanks!" I said. After so many calamities, my head felt like snapping in two.
And whacking into Link yet again wasn't helping matters.
"Have you cheered up yet? I'm telling you, you just have to try the back rub. It'll be the greatest feeling of your life," he cheered, grinning.
"I'm not going," I said moodily.
"Why's that?" he said, not faltering in the slightest.
"Because I left Dr. Mario all alone on the beach!" I said.
And Now With Dr. Mario…
Dr. Mario sat on a beach mat alone, thoroughly enjoying another smoothie, Zelda completely forgotten.
Back With Zelda…
"Knowing him he's probably forgotten ALL about you," Link replied.
"I'm still not going with you!" I said.
"Again, why not? Your dad will be there too!" he said.
"Just…just…BECAUSE! That's why!" I snapped.
"Fine. If YOU won't go with me, I'll just have to improvise," he said. He picked me up like I was a rag doll, and carried me to the spa, passersby staring.
I began punching his back sulkily.
"I'm not going! I won't, I won't, I won't, I WON'T!" I screeched.
"You're going to have fun even if it kills you!" Link said. He kicked open the spa door and tossed me to my father, turning around.
"Quick, get her into a bathing suit! She bites!" Link said, his back still turned.
It must have been a conspiracy or something because moments later I was in a hot tub in a bathing suit, my dress some place else.
"I'm getting out of here!" I snapped, but then Yunsung held me down from behind.
"No way Jose!" he said. And so I was forced to have fun.
"I hate fun. I never wanted to do this! You guys are so dead later…" I mumbled half-heartedly, between my father and Link.
"Save it, dear. You're not going anywhere until I hear some laughter," Father said. I sulked some more.
"So then he set my shorts on fire!" Yunsung said. Link started laughing.
"You're kidding right? That's COLD, even for a scorned roommate!" he replied, laughing.
But nothing could make me laugh. Not tickling. Not funny jokes. Not even amusing antics, which even got Ganondorf to crack a smile sometimes.
The Halloween party started. Every Smasher came. Their costumes were really something.
Young Link was in a Spongebob suit, and his friend Saria was dressed as Patrick.
You already know Link's costume, Yunsung, and vice-versa for his guest.
Pikachu went as Ash, and Ash went as Misty! That made me laugh.
Ganondorf went as Pete from Mickey Mouse. His guest Twinrova went as Minnie Mouse.
Mewtwo went as an Electebuzz. His guest, Giovanni went as Hitler, and nearly got shot because of it.
Peach went as Wilma. Mario as Fred Flintstone, Dr. Mario as Barney Gumble, and Luigi turned some heads dressed as Betty. Yoshi went as Dino, Nana went as Pebbles, and Popo went as Bam-Bam. So now you had all of them. None of them brought any guests.
Kirby went as Meta-Knight, and his guest Meta-Knight went as King Dedede. I was almost expecting someone to go as the Whispy Woods.
Samus and Captain Falcon both went as an F-Zero Racer…designed to look like Kraid. You bet it was some compromise.
Donkey Kong and Diddy went as middle-aged golfers, complete with the silly hat with the pom-pom.
Fox and Falco also made a joint project, along with Peppy Hare. They all dressed up like geisha.
"Why are you three all dressed like that?" I asked.
"They were the only costumes left. And after the kimono's on, you can't help but wax your hair and put on white make-up," Fox said.
I gave them an odd look and went back over with Link.
Marth and Roy were dressed as, of course, each other. Marth dyed his hair red and Roy dyed his hair blue. And then they put on each other's armor.
Jigglypuff had her own little costume, dressed as Yuna from Final Fantasy X-2. Scary? Perhaps. But she really liked it.
Ness and Mr. Game and Watch came dressed as jack-o-lanterns. Now THAT was something you didn't see every day. As a costume, I mean.
Bowser and Ganondorf came dressed as Boos. Personally, I thought they should have just stuck with what they normally wear.
So at that moment, now that everyone had arrived, they began the party. Music blared through the speakers. People were eating and drinking Peach's dinner amongst some finger foods. All in all, it couldn't have been more boring for me, even if someone threw a flaming trash can through a window and people swarmed the mansion.
Parties always ended up like this.
After a while, Link began telling scary stories.
"Okay people. This is the scary story about my friend's big toe," Link began. Everyone gathered around. Someone killed the lights as Link grabbed a flashlight.
"We were traveling around for a bit when he complained about sharp pains in his foot. So of course, I took off his boot, and for a second, I glimpsed inside." Everyone was quaking in their costumes.
"What was in that boot wasn't holy. I nearly threw up. When I emptied the boot, a puddle of crimson blood oozed out, thick as honey." By now, those with weak constitutions had left the room.
"But it was nothing compared to the toe. That toe was bruised, battered, black. And also nearly severed off." This time, someone didn't make it to a bathroom, and threw up into their cup.
"The toe nail was yellow and brittle. It peeled off like onion skins and turned to dust, like crushed chalk. That toe was definitely past its prime. Almost dead, more like it." Marth, who had previously been blue in the face holding his squeal of terror, just let it out.
"There was no choice but…to amputate. Because the toe was already nearly severed off, I just ripped the sinew out. A spurt of blood shot out almost instantly!" This time Marth fell back onto the carpet. He'd fainted.
"The layers of skin holding the blood spurt back fell out. And…there…WAS THIS HUGE BLACK SPIDER INSIDE THE TOE!" At that moment, no one could contain their fright, and everyone screamed.
"I still have the toe," he said, and to our horror, he took out a big toe that was bruise, battered, black, bloody. And severed, with the yellow toe nail peeled clean off. Most people fainted, and wouldn't wake up until the next morning, dazed, confused, and still in their costumes.
"Heh! I got you all good!" Link said, and he and Yunsung had a good laugh before Yunsung said: "I need my toe back."
At this point of my utmost horror, utmost shock, and the day that caught up with me…I laughed.
I laughed loud. I laughed hard. I was rolling with laughter, with tears coming out of my eyes. I was pounding the ground. I couldn't even breathe.
Link and Yunsung shared a look before they left the room.
"At least she had fun."
Rest assured I would never have fun again. At least, until Free Day came around again…
Author's Notes: What a rough chapter! Yes, it was hard to do. Yes, Fabio is a retarded character who will never come back. Yes, I made some major plot holes. Yes, Doctor Mario is still at the beach as we speak this November the second. And yes, Samus did find her suit. Will Yunsung be back? Probably not. Will they all wake up and forget this ever happened? Probably.
Reviews:
I got plenty! YEAH!
Urby:
My number one reviewer. Seriously, I read Snow Kisses, one of your stories, and I STILL can't figure out who the couple was! You have to tell me some time, because it's killing me.
Caliban's Shameless Groveling One: Uh…sorry. I'm a bad person. Why do you think I made this story K? I've got such a foul mouth sometimes I made it this low rating so I'd find a way to control myself!
Caliban's Shameless Thanks: OMG! I'd be beyond honored! Just WOW! I wouldn't care however you portray me. Just thanks.
Caliban's Shameless Worming-Out-Of-Things:
Well…I, uh…You're right! I'm not sticking to the story style, which is introduction, first-person views, shameless humor, a brawl, and then 'this will never happen again until it happens again' thing.
And mangoes do rule. No, really. I just wish I had some right now…
You might want to get that bump on your head checked out. Bricks really hurt. People use it all the time but it's hard enough lifting one.
RoyalFanatic: OOOH! Must…check…out…The Endless War! Which I'll do as soon as this chapter is posted.
Besides, I'm the ultimate tomboy, but sometimes I enjoy pink. Yes, pink. But not hot pink or ballerina pink. Those suck!
Alannah: Oh, how we miss her annoying ramblings.
Tesla: You know, this sounds a lot like her.
Alannah: I still can't believe those guards pulled Mario's Super Jump Punch at us. That knocked the wind out of me! Seriously, those guards play too much video games and read too many fighting comics to be so buff!
Tesla: But at least I have Shigeru Miyamoto's autograph! And a sneak-peek at Twilight Princess! I can't believe Link can turn into a wolf now!
Alannah: Shut up! You're spoiling it for the reviewers!
RoyalFanatic: That's it. I'm out of here. Bowser, let's go.
Wait, come back! Uh oh…they saw me!
Alannah: There she is!
Tesla: You're alive!
ACK! They glomped me!
Blazing Fool: THAT'S A GOOD ONE! I'm starting chapter eleven now.
I was so hoping for you to choose Caliban-Hikotsu. I really was…Eh!
Doubledude: Thanks a bunch! Hope you like this one…
Tesla: Don't you have a geography essay to work on?
I'm ending this review. Before she springs me with a geo textbook…
Elfbrat: Whether Zelda is PMSing or just plain being a grump is your call. But hey, she was anti-fun, she was a raving lunatic, she had like seven mood swings. If that isn't PMS I don't know what is.
Alannah: Caliban can PMS. Oh yeah. She tried to choke someone with their own braid yesterday just for being an idiot while she was going through a BIG mood swing.
That was supposed to be a secret! Tesla, attack!
Tesla: It's GLOMPING TIME!
Alannah: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
Demon of the Black Fire: I'm having just as much trouble keeping track of my own chapters! I'm scared of doing a Roy chapter twice… And…HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS GOING TO DO THAT? Don't say anything!
Mewlon: You're my new reviewer to worship. Not only did you read and review, but you also…say that it was a recommendation from a friend. When I read that, my heart glowed with delight. By the way, I've read on of your stories, 'The Blood Red Rose' and let me say that Meiko scares the living tar out of me!
As for Roy, I'm pretty sure his mother is Lady Lyndis, but I know like negative a hundred about Fire Emblem…I'm not a really a Ninian and Eliwood since I don't like Ninian much but whatever.
AshRB: Long time no see! I'm glad you liked it!
SHSW360: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! I'm so glad my story is a success in the humor section! Please tell me what your name stands for or something. It's a hobby of mine…
And that's it for reviews! This is Caliban the Wizard, signing out!