A/N: I don't know how many of you got the news that chapter 3 was up, seeing as I only got one review :( So I'm assuming that because at the time I put it up there were a lot of upgrades going on in , you didn't realise it was up.

Either that, or you all suddenly hate me. So anyway, if you've found your way here (and haven't done so already) go and read chapter three. Otherwise, this chapter will make even less sense.

Disclaimer: Nope. I still don't own LOTR. I promise. Really. Not that I wouldn't if I had the choice, but you know how it is…

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All of a sudden, Legolas realised they were by a river. Normally, being by a river wouldn't have bothered him, but he had the distinct feeling that this one had snuck up on him in a sneaky way.

After a few minutes of staring at it suspiciously, he remembered that he had actually followed it after the squirrel incident. In order to not look like a fool, he pretended that he was actually checking his hair in the water. Unfortunately, this made him look just as big a fool, if not more so. Naturally, Nogm couldn't simply let it slide.

"Legolas dear, would you mind letting me know why you suddenly stopped Darwin, and have been staring into the river for five minutes?"

"I was…erm…checking for fish!"

Once more, Nogm rolled her eyes, "I may be a cat, but I am not stupid. Which is more than can be said for you, my prettyfullest elf."

Just then, a remarkably scary thing happened: Legolas displayed some maturity. Instead of going off in a huff, yelling at Nogm or crying, he simple said, "Fair enough, you caught me. Shall we continue?"

Nogm nodded in mute astonishment. She had expected, at the very least, an angry-elfling-type outburst. Her world was all askew.

Thankfully, just ten minutes later, something came along to distract her. They had been slowly walking along the river bank, when they spied a large sign. This sign wasn't actually very hard to miss (being large an' all), and it pointed right to the edge of the river, where several canoes were neatly tethered. The sign read 'CANOE just for fun!', so naturally they went over to check it out.

At first it seemed that whoever was running this canoe centre was having a coffee break, but then Darwin spotted something small and furry swimming around the boats.

"Erm…hello?" called Legolas, not entirely sure that the thing could hear him.

However, the furry thing poked its head out of the water, and fixed them with an interested stare. It had the body of a fish, but was covered in hair and had a long, bushy tail.

"How can I help you?"

"…What are you?"

"I'm a squirrelfish, what did you think I would be?"

"I honestly have no idea."

"Well, anyway, I'm a squirrelfish, I run the canoe centre, and my name is Bird."

"Bird?" Nogm, being a cat, knew that generally, birds were called 'Bird', and Bird was most definitely not a bird. She then crossed her eyes as she realised that she'd completely managed to confuse herself.

Bird grinned a cheeky grin, "Yes, 'Bird'. I like to confuse people."

Legolas nodded, as if he came upon squirrelfishes called Bird every day. And seeing as most of the time he lived in Legolas-Land, he probably did.

"So, the sign…" he said, nodding along in a friendly way.

Bird's little face lit up. He did so love to talk about his sign. "Yes, just got it back from the shop. Cool, eh?"

"Why 'canoe just for fun'?"

"Well, you know so many people work so hard in their canoe jobs nowadays that they stop seeing the fun side of it. My aim in life is to put the fun back in to canoeing for ever man, woman and child! Oh, and elves, cats, hobbits, wizards, dwarfs, ringwraiths and dark lords."

"It's nice to know you cater to a wide range of people."

"Isn't it just?"

"So…can we have a canoe?"

"…Sure."

Bird gave them a special horse-sized canoe, and began to paddle them out into the middle of the river.

"I say," remarked Bird, suddenly coming over all posh, "You wouldn't have happened to have seen my father's cousin on your journeys, would you?"

Nogm waved her tail thoughtfully in the air, "I wouldn't know, what's his name?"

"Morris."

Legolas, Nogm and Darwin looked shiftily at each other. Finally Legolas spoke up, "Yeah, we saw him. I believe he's gone on a bit of a trip…"

"Where to?" Asked Bird, surprised.

"…Mount Doom."

"Oh. That's odd, and frankly worrying, taking into account all the larva and stuff…do you happen to know why he's going there?"

"Erm, because I tricked him into it."

"I see." Unfortunately for Legs and Nogm (and indeed Darwin), Bird had a very quick temper, and was not happy that his father's cousin had been tricked into going to Mount Doom. He gave the canoe a squirrelfish kick, and sent it spinning out of control down the river. He later came to regret this, as it meant he lost a perfectly good canoe. It was also totally unnecessary, as he knew that his father's cousin would get only a couple of miles towards Mount Doom when he realised he didn't know the way, and would turn around. However, Bird was a generally happy little squirrelfish (when he wasn't losing his temper), so he just shrugged his little squirrelfishy shoulders and went back to smiling cheerily at strangers.

All the same, this still left Nogm, Legolas and Darwin spinning down the river in a canoe. And to add to the situation, it had only just dawned on Nogm that they were in an extremely unstable boat in the middle of a large river, which she wasn't best pleased about.

As he somehow managed to steady the canoe, and began paddling it slowly downstream, Legolas mused on the fact that those 'how to handle a spinning canoe when you have a horse and an insane cat on board' classes had actually come in useful.

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a-muses-inspiration – Squirrelfishes are go!