A/N: Apologies for lateness; I seem to be extremely busy lately. So, as this will be my last chapter post before January, I'll wish you all a merry Christmas and a happy new year!

Now, enjoy the extra-special Christmas…special!

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As they canoed on, it began to snow. They didn't think much of this, until they began to see small children having snowball fights and building snowmen, and the sound of carols filled the air. Nogm sniffed suspiciously at the smell of baking, then gasped and covered her ears (they were getting cold).

"What's wrong?" Ever attentive to his cat's ears, Legolas looked half worriedly, half nervously at Nogm.

"Don't panic, but…I think we've accidentally wandered into a Christmas special!"

"Erm…what's a Christmas special?"

Nogm stared at him in astonishment, "Christmas specials are when a regular…thing is taken and made all Christmassy with a special festive plot! And the people in them usually have to find Santa Claus, or learn the true meaning of Christmas or something. They always lurk around at this time of year, waiting to trap innocent travellers."

Legolas shrugged, "Doesn't sound so bad to me."

"What do you mean 'doesn't sound bad?! Think of all the cold snow, and the children running around shrieking with glee, and all the food…" Her eyes widened with realisation, "Oh…."

"I think we ought to go and find a lot of food. I mean, you always need food in a Christmas special…I would guess."

They toddled off, and had got nearly 100 metres further down river when Nogm gasped, "Legolas! This must be our Xmas special quest! To find food!"

Legolas considered it for a moment…"It's a bit pants, isn't it?"

"As far as Christmas special quests go? Yes."

"I think maybe we should liven it up a bit."

"I think maybe we should."

They sat and pondered on what they could do, when suddenly someone wandered randomly out of the bushed right next to them.

"Legolas, I wasn't expecting to see you here." Said Aragorn, mildly surprised.

"I wasn't expecting to be here." Replied Legolas, feigning glumness. "We got trapped by the Christmas special, and now we're trying to work out a way to liven things up a bit."

Aragorn nodded solemnly. "You don't think it could be anything to do with…her?" He asked, glancing with slight fear at the sky.

Nogm glanced from elf to man. "Who?"

Legolas, ignoring his cat, simply told him "No, I don't think so."

"Ok then. So, what's your quest?"

"To find food."

"Oh…that's a bit…"

"I know."

"So, uninventive 'quest', little actual plot, are you sure it has nothing to do with her?"

"I'm sure, ok???"

"Sorry!"

"I forgive you Aragorn."

Nogm hissed impatiently, "Precisely who has this got nothing to do with?"

Aragorn and Legolas looked apprehensively at each other, "An authoress" whispered Legolas, seeming to be afraid that if he said it loudly she might appear.

"She kidnapped us for two fics, a few months ago." Aragorn said, filling in the gaps.

"Ah." Nogm had always wondered where Legolas had disappeared to during the periods of time that Aragorn spoke of.

After a few minutes of silence, Aragorn finally thought of something to say:

"Can I join you on your quest? Only, I just sort of appeared here, and I don't have anything else to do..."

"Sure! Come with us!" Said Legolas brightly. "The cat's called Nogm. She talks. And the horse is Darwin!"

"You sound remarkably cheerful about that." Remarked Aragorn, and they set off in search of food. Also, 'cause of all the snow it was extremely cold, and standing still for a long time hadn't done their temperatures any good.

"I wish we had a nice warm place to be…" Mused Legolas, despite the fact that elves don't feel the cold.

At that moment, they rounded a corner (which had been specially built just three weeks before) to find a lovely, warm looking cottage. The door was ajar, and a note was pinned to it.

Aragorn took it off, and read out loud: "Oh, so you found this place at last? Come in and get the food already!"

They pushed the door open, and found the table inside completely covered in food.

"Hazaar!" Cried Nogm at the sight. However, the surprises were not over, for just then a sheep jumped out from under the table.

It wasn't just any old sheep though. It was, in fact, LOUISE THE SHEEP!

Legolas screamed in a girlish way, hid behind Darwin, and managed to work up the courage to say: "What are you doing here?!"

Louise the Sheep raised a woolly eyebrow, "I appear to be making a cameo appearance."

Aragorn dragged Legolas out from behind the horse. "I told you it was something to do with…her!"

Louise the Sheep turned round from where she'd been examining a particularly scintillating floor tile. "You mean the Mighty Authoress? She says 'hi'. She also says to get on with the plot."

They all stared at her in terrified silence.

"Oh, didn't you realise? You've all been abducted into another fic!"

Aragorn was the first to break the quiet. "Meh. Could be worse. At least we have food."

"That's true." said Louise the Sheep, "By the way Legolas, it would be daft to break a time-honoured sheep tradition: you have stupidly pointy ears. Anyway, I must be off. Ciao!"

Legolas let out a wimper, and she disappeared randomly up the chimney.

Before leaving, the four travellers stuffed their pockets with food. Well, Legolas and Aragorn did. Being animals, Nogm and Darwin didn't have any pockets.

As they came out of the cottage, the air of blatant cheeriness dissipated somewhat, to less annoying levels.

"Thank goodness, the Christmas special's over!" Sighed Nogm. "I guess we'd better be on our way then…"

And so the continued along their way, singing:

"We wish you a merry elf-mas,

We wish you a merry elf-mas,

We wish you a merry elf mas,

And a furry new year!"

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a-muses-inspiration – He was indeed taking those classes! Handy, eh?

Chibi Lauryn – Squirrelfishes are indeed cool! In fact they are cool-meisters! We should worship squirrelfishes! Okay, maybe not…

freak and proud – Yup, I've heard of the Darwin awards. For some reason, it was just the first name that came to mind…

Dreamality – Ah, you can thank my friend Naomi (otherwise known as Nogm) for Bird. She worked out a whole family tree. And I think maybe the canoe was gigantic, allowing Darwin to fit in with ease.