Title: The Cone and I

Author: Misty Waters

Summary: Draco Malfoy introduces Harry to a naughty midnight game, and it's not what he'd expect.

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: I don't own of the characters, so I ain't makin' no money or nuthin' from it.

Category: Humor

Warnings: Tomfoolery and a bit of disrespect for the establishment.

Note: for the original, R rated version of this story, email me

The Cone and I

"Potter! Potter! Wake up!"

With a gristly grunt, Harry pried himself from the throes of unconsciousness, when he realized the urgent voice above him was indeed real. Hearing that sharp, high voice all of a sudden in the middle of the night, and after some weird dreams, freaked Harry out, so it took him a while to collect himself enough to answer.

"What is it, Malfoy? I'm trying to sleep!" Pulling the blankets tight around his neck, Harry turned back into dream world.

So Malfoy ripped the sheets off. "You've had plenty of time to sleep. Get up and get dressed, and hurry up!"

His eyes clogged with sleepy cobwebs, Harry complied, not really thinking about it. "Hang on," he said, now awake. "How did you get the password?"

Still turned, Malfoy grinned. "A little Gryffindor told me." He gave a harsh chuckle.

Shaking his head, Harry finished getting ready and turned Malfoy to face him. "Alright, now what's this all about?"

"You'd better put a jumper on. It's cold out there." Getting Harry's broom from the corner, he added, "Here. Now come on. I want to get back by dawn."

Harry didn't take the broom, but glared at the eager blonde instead. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see when we get there, Potter!" Malfoy sneered. He ran out to avoid any more interrogation from his rival, though he took the gamble that he might not follow.

But he did, and soon they both were just near the exterior gate of Hogwarts. Malfoy hopped on his broom and waited for Harry, who just stood there holding his, the moonlight giving his face a surreal, bluish hue. "I'm not leaving the school, Malfoy."

"It won't take long, I promise!" Malfoy allowed the tone of his voice to drop into once a bit less biting. "Look, Potter. I know you'll have fun, just trust me, ok? We aren't going to do anything…too bad." He smirked. "Would you rather go back to bed?" Malfoy turned away slowly. "'Cos that's fine by me."

Excitement pulsed in Harry's heart, itching to abandon duty for just a little while and go along with this adventure, whatever it may be. And, Malfoy's uncharacteristic friendliness intrigued him.

He threw up his hands, dropping his broom. "We'll never get anywhere on my broom," he said in a resigned tone as he mounted Malfoy's broom.

Malfoy gave him a grin from ear to ear as they took off. "You won't regret this, Potter." They held on tight, ready to go!

"I've been doing this for quite some time," he said loudly, so the rushing wind wouldn't sweep away his voice. "But I thought it'd be more fun with a partner in crime, as it were."

After a long pause, they reached a dark, lonely area of a muggle town.

"See those?" Malfoy said as they neared.

"What? All I see are…"

Malfoy grinned manically. "Cones. You know what those are, don't you?"

Harry frowned. "Of course I do. They're used for…" his voice trailed off. "Malfoy, what are you thinking?"

As the broom hovered, Malfoy said wistfully, "Look at them. They look like they own the place! Aloof." He scoffed. "So egotistical."

Harry was almost blown off the broom when Malfoy zoomed to the cones. A choked cackle escaping his lips, Malfoy thrust his arm out at the cones, shrieking, "Dink, dink, dink!" as they fell.

Harry could only hang on for dear life as they tore back up into the sky, with Malfoy filling the icy air with freakish peals of laughter. "And by my hand, they fall!"

Harry was stunned. "Is that it? That's what you dragged me out of bed for?" He was a bit relieved that it was indeed all Malfoy seemed to have planned, but he was also bewildered.

Malfoy turned to face him. "Is that it? what do you mean is that it?"

"You're just gonna…knock over cones?"

Malfoy grinned like it were the best thing in the world. "Yah! It's called 'coning,' Potter, and it's divine!" They shot off again. "Look! There's more!"

"Wait! Aren't you going to pick those back up?"

"That's the beauty of it, Potter! We leave a big mess for some stupid muggle to clean up!" He nudged Harry's shoulder. "And sometimes, if I'm lucky, I get to see him do it!" He laughed.

"Isn't that, I don't know, against the law?" Harry spat.

"Law? You show me what law says I can't tip cones."

Harry just sat there glaring.

"Tell you what. Over there is a nice row of 'em. I'll swing by and let you get those."

Before Harry could protest, they were up in the air again, and going for the cones. Not letting himself think about it, Harry put out his hand and let the cones fall, one right after the other, with his rival yelling "Dink!" for each one. It was suddenly thrilling, so by the time the last orange cone bit the dust, he was itching for more. /After all/ he thought. /This isn't really that wrong./

"Did you like that?" Malfoy asked smugly.

Harry allowed himself a satisfied smile. "Yes. Yes I did."

"I knew you would." As they veered off for the next batch, Harry hung on tight with one arm and let the other hang limp. So simple, so ridiculous, but dang, it was fun!

More cones to the right. "Dink, dink, dink!" from both boys as Harry let the cones collide on his arm. He even grabbed one by the nose and slammed it down.

Soon the entire area was littered with "dead," or tipped, cones. Malfoy landed to let them stand and admire their handiwork. For a second, a flash of guilt hit Harry, but he dismissed it as just part of the excitement.

"Look at them now, Potter. They're all in their place."

Harry laughed heartily.

Proudly, Malfoy said, "Well, come on, Potter! We want to finish by dawn, don't we?" And off they went for more cones.

A close pair of cones stood hidden amongst rocks and cement. At first they went past, since it was beyond their reach on the broom, but soon Malfoy did a double-take and landed.

When he walked to them, he said, "This is where Manual Coning comes in." When he couldn't just tip them, he pried them out of their beds and tossed them aside, making a hilarious face as he did so.

Harry chided, "Hey! You didn't leave any for me!"

Malfoy looked around till he pointed and exclaimed, "There!"

They ran to a whole bay filled with cones, standing in neat lines near short steps and trees. It looked like a rest area, with the paths and benches.

Eyes sparkling with unbridled mischief, Harry whispered, "Blimey! It's a cone museum!"

"O, heck ya!"

Harry took the first cone, pushing its top and watching it crash. Another cone was yanked off the ground and thrown into two more. He watched Malfoy kick one down hard, and that inspired him to pick one up and drop-kick it.

Cones flew down the stairs, into other cones, into trees, into the boys. They were shoved under the bench, and then pried out, arranged into circles and other shapes and patterns.

Harry broke away to carefully tip over a disgusting, black at the tip cone so it had its head touching an oil stain. "Look! It's a fallen cone!"

"I'm gonna tackle these!" Malfoy yelled as he rammed into a close group of cones. His legs tumbled over his body as he crashed through them.

That was impressive, but Harry wasn't going to let him get away with that. Using the cartoons he had secretly watched from behind Dudley's back as an example, Harry put a plank of wood on top of a round rock, and put a cone on one side of the wood. Yelling, he jumped on the other side and sent the cone shooting off into the air.

They both watched the cone fall, but Harry couldn't see Malfoy take out his wand and guide the cone down so it wouldn't tip over when it fell. It was all he could do to keep back a peal of laughter when Harry said, shocked, "Hey! It didn't fall over!"

"What kind of trick was that, Potter!" Malfoy giggled, clutching his side with the hand that held the wand.

Harry saw the wand. "Why you," he growled, and rammed into the still laughing boy, so his wand tinked on the ground. Malfoy, always ready for an attack, turned Harry around and began to choke him out, arm around the other's neck. Harry flailed, not really knowing what to do. Malfoy laughed as his victim tried to pry himself free, but didn't laugh when Harry kicked his thigh.

"You did that on purpose! You dumb.joker!" Harry yelled, chuckling a bit. Malfoy glared, on the ground and rubbing his leg. He took Harry's hand when he offered it and laughed himself.

The first rays of morning knocked on their eyelids, so Harry sprang into action. "O, no! We'd better get back."

With one last contented look at their fine mess, the boys got back on the broom and headed for home, Harry in the front.

"I can't believe I'm telling you this, but that was actually quite fun," Harry said, grinning.

"I told you, Potter."

Just as they were leaving, Malfoy yanked back on Harry's collar. "Wait! I think I see one more. Lemme get it."

"I can't see it."

"Come on, it's right there," Malfoy said, annoyed. "Gimme some speed now." With the glare of the sun rays and the blur of their speed, it was hard to see what was hidden beside the trees, but Malfoy thrust his arm out anyway and let it hit.

Harry heard something thud, but it sounded harder than a cone. A look back showed Harry it was a fire hydrant. From behind, he heard a moaned, "Dink!"

"O my gosh, Malfoy! Are you alright?"

"Of course I am, just go!" Another long silence before they reached Hogwarts.

Harry caught Malfoy by the sleeve before the boy could hurry back to his room, and ignored his evil glare.

"It looks broken." Harry pulled Malfoy closer, holding the boy's wrist.

When Malfoy yanked away, he winced and said, "I'm fine, Potter!"

Harry's firm eyes dared him to leave again. "If anyone notices, you're done for."

Malfoy wanted to argue, but his rival's cold expression didn't permit it. "Alright, so heal it then! You're the wizard around here," he spat.

"I'm sorry. I don't know that spell, but I know someone who might."

Malfoy gave him a freakishly serious look. "Not Granger. By Merlin don't you dare."

"Though I wouldn't be at all surprised if she refused," Harry interrupted icily. "I'm sure I can get her to do it. It's either her, or the nurse."