Part 2
And then chubby rips out
his flame thrower penis and starts throwing flames out of his penis. Then he
gets his electro magnetic pulse grenade which is a grenade that has a magnetic
pulse that is electric. He then wips out his shrink-o dick-o ray which is a
ray that shrinks dicks. So he shrank hutzelaitypedjnfjgfututt's dick and then
chubby pulled out his cell phone, which is a phone that...uh...anyway he calls
his agent and says..... ..."My wanta notha jobe," in the strange Chumtoad
language... which translates to french as... ..."Mi no kico noi ma,"...
...which translates to Tagalog as... Please, take this bread and eat from it,
for it is the body of my blood. Er, for it is....wait so anyway chubby was closed
to being doomed when all of a sudden, barney, our friendly black mesa research
facility guard came up and grapped chubby and they blasted off to barneys house....
and while we were blasting off to Barney's house B.G.Y.-11 had an epiphany (we
are all speaking about ourselves in 3rd person, right?) that Secret-Agent knew
that his former name was BarneyYourFriendlyBMRFsecurityG, and as he was ruminating
this, it turned out they had blasted off to the WRONG BARNEY's house! Before
we could escape, a horde of multicolored reptile suits and weird music... ..."I
love you, you love me. We're a big gay family. With a hug hug here and a kiss
from me to you. Blah blah blah blah blah."... then all of a sudden the
zombies from udeath started to attack and lagged everyone out .... ...So I enlarged
my kickass sig and lagged it even more... ...the lag was so much that BGY was
kicked out of the story... ...and through a temporal loop he came back again...
And was disfigured so his face was his ass and his ass was his face. This meant
that... I couldn't smell nasty smells because nothing smells worse than my ass
at that proximity so it dulled my nose. This causes Texas to... ...come back
from obivion... ...only to be mistaken for that Texas sized asteroid headed
for Earth (e.g. Armageddon)... ...and Bruce Wilis went up to kill it... And
he died cause it was only predictable that the hero would.... ...unfotunaely
some of the asteroid survived and landed in the middle of france killing all
the french... the world was happy until they all respawned THEN... ...started
playing their music again... ...then everything happened again because of that
music then we got caught in a temporal loop... ...then Arbron put on his Ablative
Armor and shot the French with a Tranphasic Torpedo. They couldn't respawn...
Because there was only 1 respawn point and they all couldn't respawn at once
at the same time cause they were too stupid to make more then one respawn point
beforehand.... ...and the mapper, Bob the Bad Mapper, didn't know what to do...
...until he found that "*doll*"......that killed him. The dols name
was... ..hEEMOChumCObloBo!... ...translated to CHUKY!!!... ...which translates
to Male doll on homicidal PMS!... ...and the doll was naked... ...this caused
George W. Bush to... run up to it and... Propose mispronounced and no making
sense of stuff political ideas to the doll and she started to run away even
tho she was a doll but anything can get scared of george bush wcich made george
cry and he reisgned from being "head honcho big cheese do whatever i want
guy" as he calls it. This meant tha, the human heart attack, Dick Cheney,
would become the head honcho big cheese guy. But chubby would not allow this.
so he organized a.... ...thing to say that Chuky was a guy doll... But infact,
the evil forces of the aline blaster peoples invaded the universe with ginat
man eating slug creature things that all blood and guts which exploded and aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh...screamed
chubby as he was being sucked into the stomach of a big aline crap guy thing
and he was like; "hey man, wtf, get me out dude" so the aliens like:
"WASSSSSSUUPPPPPPPPPPP" and they start making out with your mom AND
ALL OF A SUDDEN BAM THEY DIE AND BAAAAAAM WE ALL DIE and then the people that
were survivors, which included chubby they like were dead again so they unevninteableytitnfm
killed themselves with a dagger and a pickaxe which sounded good at the time
but thren again wtf do i know so anyway as long as im still on the same sentence
i'll just say that chubby and tor became best friends and then what would happen
to Bill clinton was another thing that was bad.... ...was that Bob the Bad Mapper
came back and made a bunch of clipping errors so everybody fell into a black
oblivion below the map. They fell right into... ...the B.G.Y.-11. Then they
heard Texas make a biting comment "Haha you killed me and mutilated me
and raped me and eventually sent me into oblivion...now the tables are turned...I
control the evil master computer of the Universe with my namesake...TEXAS INSTRUMENTS
MAINFRAME...you are in oblivion and I control your fate...ironic, isn't it?"
This caused everyone to think about how they caused unneccessary damage to Texas
and how we hurt it's feelings...etc. etc...we decide to say "sorry man
we WERE too hard on you..no hard feelings, k?" Then Texas said, aww ok,
I guess we can be buds...just then Rusty came in and said, "Eat Nucleoprotons,
Mr. Mean Jeans!" and fired a nucleoprotonic blast at TEXAS's Austin...the
capital...a penis, if you will...then TEXAS said "NOOO YOU LYING FUCKS!
YOU WILL PAY FOR THAT!" and he blasted Rusty's body apart...all that was
left was the head...then everyone in the B.G.Y.-11 said, "Noooo, Rusty!"
Just then Lieutenant Dwayne Hunter appeared out of nowhere and said, "KID!"
This pissed him off so much that unknown telekinetic powers to rocket out of
oblivion, then he started to blast the hell out of Texas with everything he
got...then the EP-327 joined in...then, unexpectedly, the Legion Ex Machina
came out and said, "You say you have the ultimate computing power huh?
Don't trifle with us, Texas. You don't have the bandwidth." Then the Legion
started blasting the hell out of Texas with everything they got too, including
the 500 megawatt vortex cannon on the ARG-12000, and then all of Gene Roddenberry's
creations started to blast the hell out of it...all in the course of 30 seconds.
After Texas was blasted the hell away Rusty's head had a female voice come out
of it..."Primary systems disengaged. Backup systems activating." Then
Rusty said, "Hey guys!" then Dr. Slate came in and gave him a spare
body, so it was the same Rusty they knew and admired. This caused everyone to
think, "Aw hell, we took out revenge on Texas because we thought Rusty
was dead...I feel foolish" and then everyone welcomes Rusty back...then
the Legion realized that they had the perfect opportunity to steal Quark technology,
so they tried to take Rusty, then there was fighting amongst everyone, while
they were distracted, part of Texas was streaking towards Washington, D.C.,
and George Bush had that evil satanic worship star with a circle around it out
on the White House lawn and he was standing in it...he said..."YES I WILL
BE UNITED WITH THE EVIL STATE AND NOW I CAN FINALLY ASCEND TO HELL AND RULE
THE WORLD, AFTER ALL IT IS THE "LONE STAR STATE", AS IN "LONE
EVIL STAR WITH A CIRCLE AROUND IT USED BY SATANIC WORSHIPPERS TO MAKE SACRIFICES
AND DO EVIL STUFF(as seen on TV)!" Meanwhile, up at the battle... ...nobody
bothered to read BGY's speech because it was to long... And so everyone on the
internet agreed, which got bgy madly pissed off, and he started throwin shit
at chubby and he almost killed him when.... Bob the Bad mapper's trigger_hurt
got triggered in his terrbile multimanager editing So bob the mapper's worldcraft
.6 alpha version got all screwed up and he wasnt able to map anything anymore.
w00t!!! So a new guy, Joe the mapper came into the scene...but this time Joe
the mapper was havin some trouble with adding friendly grunts, so he asked Bob
for some help, and Bob said.... ..."First you have to model the B.G.Y.-11
at 15 ft. tall, all the weapons/equipment in their right place, make him complete
with the right sounds and postures/stances with all of the patented sayings
and with the trigger where Lieutenant Dwayne Hunter ejects and you can pilot
it, THEN maybe I'll think about it..." ...but then Joe the Mapper made
the friendly grunts spawns before any enemies so no monstes would attack...
...then B.G.Y.-11 (we are talking in 3rd person about ourselves in this story
right) started bitching about how mapping was too _hard_ and it _always_ says
"Map not found on server" and asked why this is... ..and Arborn said
that this was because your map didn'r compile properly and... ...}[]BlackMage[]{
makes yet another pointless appearance in a futile attempt to raise the amounts
of lines he has... ...which means that B.G.Y.-11 has to ask Arbron how to fix
that, then B.G.Y.-11 and Arbron laugh in chorus at the puny amount of lines
}[]BlackMage[]{ has... ...and yet again blackmage his horribly beaten with geneticly
enchanced goat penises... Which latch on to his face and he gets screwed and
then they like have wild crazy frog sex where they like have geintal wart combinations
and they make babies and stuff so anyway, our good friend Adrion Shephard decides
to pay a visit to Gordon Freeman... ...then all that wild crazy frog sex stuff
happened between shepard and freeman... ...and then Barney from Blue Shift came
in and... ...shot them in their... ...eye. This caused them to run around wildly...
...killing }[]BlackMage[]{, who immediately respawned far far far away from
this story... ...in Never Never land, there he…...saw Peter, John, Wendy,
and that other kid get shot down by antiaircraft fire from Captain Hook's updated
Aegis cruiser... ...and they were there so long that they became canibles...
And started to eat each other raw. Since they didn't have a microwave to cook
there human's in, they all died from diseases like hakluejfjdamitotisos. So
this forces president bush, a native of texas, to pull down his pants on live
t.v. and do his "wang thang". So everyone voted to impeach him and
he got kicked out of office. Oh yea, and some aliens came and destroyed the
earth. But anyway..... ...Chuby was cool... ...and for no apparent reason, }[]BlackMage[]{
come back again in this obscenely pointless story... So everyone decided to
kill blackmage and we all are happy in our glory and stuff like that. Then all
of a sudden, my spacebar breaks off of my keyboard and starts dancing and singing
in my mouth. This is because of... ...an evil curse that BlackMage somehow put
on everyone who killed him... ...and it makes BlackMage come back from the dead...
...then everything is immediately fine, BlackMage wanders off to PlanetHalfLife
to see if anything is new there and everyone is happy for about 10 minutes.
Then all of a sudden... ...}[]BlackMage[]{ comes back... And everyone is turned
into barney! (purple dinosaur.) So everyone starts huggin each other and start
actin gay, then agent steps in a blats these freaks to hell with some giant
ass gun which i have not bothered to name yet. But the evil forces of poopypopypissypants
thing like attack people and... ...then the B.G.Y.-11 and Rusty blast the hell
out of it...then the Legion Ex Machina decides to... ...die... ...by the hand
of Deus Ex Machina... ...in front of a K-Mart... ...that had a spare Legion
Ex Machina in stock... ...then in the background, BlackMage mutters about how
stupid this entire thing is Which is heard by no one because just at that very
moment, the evil forces of 1234567890 started fighting to eviler forces of 0987654321.
But, the evilest of all the forces, 5647382910, Majorly 0wned the competition,
and Our good american president, bill clinton had sex with monica luinski. Then,....
...Bill the Strange Mapper came in and made a strange map where everybody...
...had to masturbate in order to... ...open a big door shaped like a huge...
...door... shaped.....opening. So they went through the huge door shaped opening
and it was a portal to xen. All of these alien grabbing thingies started grabbing
thingies and everyone died. Which is good because.... ...Secret-Agent was confusing...
...the EP-327... Which is code for "everyone". So they decided to
knock some sence into Agent,But he pulls around and starts fragging there asses
with their asses. This caused BGY's suit to malfunction and he died and so did
everyone except me. And a few other hundred billion people but everyone died.
aaaaanyway... Secret Agent got bored with having no-one to talk to and decided
to.. ...now the only thing that was on the earth was Agent and cows. So Agent
was the ruler of all the cows... ...so he made cow human hybrids without the
use of any fancy lab equipment... ...and they all had his DNA in them so they
looked like... ...Arbon... ...but they mainly looked like Golem... ...who was
in this... ...which, coincidentally, was the B.G.Y.-11, so it looked like _me_...
...which reminded everyone that I set a precedent by saying stuff... ...and
then BGY was shot because of it... ...but it simply bounced off 10 tons of titanium
armor... ...into Rusties .5 ince armor. It killed Rusty and the BGY pilot was
sad Which forced him to commit suicide by staying in that big machine thing
for to long and sufficating. But some say it wasn;t an accident, because Secret-Agent's
evil mad cows had a plan, a plan to.... ...come up with a better plan... ...interrupt
the story to say that there was the episode where Dr. Slate said that Rusty
could withstand a "megaton of punishment" and that the B.G.Y.-11 has
vents for air, so everything was normal and Big Guy drove off an attack on the
cows in Cedar Rapids, Iowa by aliens, on which he said just before blasting
them out of the sky, "No not-of-this-earth surgical-probe-wielding invader's
gonna deprive this planet's children and their growing bones of even one glass
of wholesome milk!" Then... ...cows romed the Earth... ...and someone (KmouthK1lla)
was cruel enough to spread mad cow and hoof and mouth disease among them during
their peak horniness time so that it was spread to almost all the cows, just
to be evil…..he killed himself... Which was sinisterely evil. Which is
stupid. 'Nuff said. Until.... ...Bob the bad mapper changed his name to [BlockerZ]
Bob... ...then promptly changed it back to Mapper Bob... ...because he is not
a Blocker... ...he is a [Condo//]... ...so [Condo//] Bob went and blocked a
long slender thing called a... ...Bill Clinton's... ...pencil sharpener... ...which
is slang for... ...Billy... ...Willy Wang Wong... wich happen to be his cigar!
the both had a good smoke and the secert service promptley shot him... When
he was shot the bullet turned into a zebra and the zebra said to everyone: "Turtles
have tortoises on their penises!". So everyone rejoiced in a gay orgy.
The end. Until...... ...T-13 was killed... Which was cool cause 13 is unlucky.
So unfortunate it really is. T-13 was cool man, he didn't deserve to die. No
one was happy. Everyone just hoped and prayed that... ...he left me an Arbron
everything in his will... ...and he did. We both gave half of T-13's 25c to
the Sven Co-op team... Then Gunner walked in the room, shook his head, and walked
off...leaving the other SC'ers starign at the door with a really wierd look,
then go back to what they were doing as if nothing happened. But thanks to the
Alliances ressurection technology, my corpse was taken to the HQ and I was brought
back to life, but even better cuz I got this kickass looking burn mark down
my left cheek...then back with arbron and B.G.Y... Who were the best of pals.
They ate together, they talked together, they slept together........which was...odd
seeing as how....they're lesbians....and as secret agent keeps rambling on continuosly.........some
odd stuff happens............. ...like me saying, "Me and Arbron aren't
lesbians!" and hiring the best lawyers to sue Secret-Agent for libel (or
defamation or whatever...leave it to the lawyers)... ...then we learn that Agent
was just trying to hide that he was a lesbian... ...he (she) hated all guys
and even had one of those lesbian sign necklaces... And Agent kept protesting
he was just a lesbian trapped in a man's body. But for BGY's lawsuit, Secret-Agent's
expert team of lawyers, mamaged toi settle the case for a mear....500 billion.
So anyway, BGY's lung like crashes and he dies and secret agent 0wnz j00 and
ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US. Which is because... He's an ass ramming homosexual
with a small... ...brain... ...which reminds me of the latest issue of MAD Magazine...
...where a guy with a small brain and a small... ...*ahem* reproductive organ...
...and a small cow... Like to eat... ...which is bad, since I said that KmouthK1lla
infected all of the cows with mad cow and hoof and mouth disease, just to be
evil... ..so the chubtoad, embaressed, walked out of the server into a big pile
of things that were good like..... WARM GRAPES and things that tasted like fruit
and nice things that were milky. Meanwhile everyone is looking at this and sniffing
their genitals because they jammed it in a vent that was cutting off circulation
to their minature cows that made a lot of horse crap (They are cows not horses)
that they molded into the story that started off at chubby and his friends in
chubby town having a game of chinese checkers tht wouldn't end because they
had very good defensive skills that were better than getting nailed in the nuts
by a big package of WARM GRAPES and then, after grimacing through the pain,
commensed in shoving the WARM GRAPES into... ...Laura Bush's anal cavity...
Didn't do anything cause no one cares about Laura Bush cause her dad is a retard
Exclaimer: Secret-Agent's opinions do not reflect the ideas of his plan for
total world domination over all that is good.
So back to kmouth1killa.......he kinda...died. Cause of Secret-Agent's mad cow
holy war temple thingy. Which happened to be just as big as.... ...Laura Bush's
clitoris... some where in italy:
the counter-terrorist and terrorist had joined forces and also made a bet to
see who could f--k the chickens the longest no doubt that... L337 Kr3w won because
they 0wn j00. And those chickens. But seeing as how most people in this community
hate cs, Kracker was immediately assassinated on site. Which just goes to show
you.... ...that Secret-Agent didn't understand that Kracker was dissing CS...meanwhile,
in Laura Bush's vagina... Which is where Secret-Agent was.....hiding...out...in...cause...he
was....confused.........over....um wtf is going on now.........? Then a space
cow came down and killed everybody... Which was the coolest thing ever cause
cheese comes from cows and cheese is spaced out yo. And so is... ..Laura Bush's
boobs... So then again, everyone got really fed up with people talking in intimate
details about Laura Bush. Well....at least Secret-Agent was fed up. So Laura
bush dies cause Agent pumps some lead in her head. And..... ...Laura Bush's
enbalmed tits and reproductive organs are auctioned off on eBay!... ...the final
bid was $95,043,345.21... all the sudden, a giant...boner appeared in the shorts
of the person who bought Laura Bush's tits on eBay!... all the sudden out of
no where, a huge giant block fell from the sky and landed on... ...Kracker...
which is one of those mario blocks from the video game, he then recieved ten
golden coins which gave him the ability to.... ....die.... ...and come back
to life... ...to die again... ...Until he went through all 212 ways for a soldier
to kill a man... ...which were...
1) Headshot from the front.
2) Headshot from the back.
3) Headshot from the left.
4) Headshot from the right.
5) Headshot from above.
...which is a good report on how you can kill ppl in Half-Life...however I was
talking about Fake-Life, you know the one where you go to school/job, dates,
etc....
6) Strangle #1.
7) Strnagle #2.
9.) Kick in balls
10.) Camp at the enemy's spawn reload area and come up from behind them and
shoot them and stuff
11.) Throw a grenade in their eye and they die
since Kracker was going against a blonde marine, he had a grenade stuck in his
eye with the pin still in it, he took the grenade out, and press alternate fire
which caused the whole world to turn into./.. ...Laura Bush, who
12) gets gutted in the belly
13) gets killed by a car
14) dies during a muffdive by George
15) Eats too many cows...
16) Is a lactophiliac....
wait a minute
this is kinda crazy,the story and the list are mixing together wrong...nevermind
continue
17) Hey, Team 17!
18)jump and break your …car…
19) Die.
20.) Penis be gone
21) Loosing what you are talkign about.
22.) Chucking a lab top full of top secret classified information at some ones
head.
23 - 220) Eat headcrab in many ways.
So after everyone described the...220 i guess ways to kill some one as a soldier,
chubber the chubfrog, chubby the chumtoad's evil nemesis, is undergoing a evil
plan. chubber plans to destroy all chumtoads, and have the the rest of the chubfrogs
to bow to him as master. But chubby and his all star team of chumtoads are ready
to stop chubber......... ...from getting Laura Bush's testicals... ...and eating
them…
(221) Vasectomy)
(222) Lara Croft gives a blowjob) And everyone realizes that the person playin
lara croft in her upcoming movie is mad hot...but ya see laura bush isn't so
thats just disgusting and every dies of disugst. Except.. ...Chris the Ugly
mapper. He loved seeing someone uglier then him...
(223) A 10th generation inbred. i.e. Rush Limbaugh.)
(224.) headcrab shooter, now in stores.)
(225)Blue Shit. Indicates serious poisoning or mineral deficiency.) ...so he
had sex with himself... And everyone says ok...........cause they do but then..........
...the Story grows and the words increase... ...and BGY goes to the bathroom...
And pisses out all of his lines as they return to 0............. ...as in 01064...
As in 0.164 ............ ...as in I am the first person with a decimal in my
line number and Mad Jonesy is so impressed that he rewards me by moving the
decimal point a few times and making it 01069.00... Which causes mad jonsey
to have a heart attack and on his last breath he orders BGY's lines to go back
to 0....... ...but he can still talk for a while without breathing and he finishes
it by saying "01075"...But he quickly changes his mind and says: "No
wait, I mean 0......." And he dies. And thats it........ ...so BGY's lines
are now at zero. But in ten minutes he gets them back to 1000 again... Because
in the real world his lines are 0......... ...however, Mad Jonesy, as it turns
out, was the only one who knew the password to change lines and stuff, so my
lines grow at an exponential rate, as usual... they dropped 0 as they usually
do............ ...because of a code that Mad Jonsey installed before he died
that automaticly set BGY's lines to 0. ... ...then we all look around, see no
guy registered as "BGY", and my lines grow as usual... Hey, does that
stand for Big Gay Yule?
No offense, but i'm wondering of an ancroynm to use.
No Why do you think an official US Military designation would stand for "Big
Gay Yule-11"?
...and Big Gay Yule died... The military might. ........might shoot basicbeecichi
for not saying correctly on this story. So beecichi dies and everyone is happy
until........ eumm ... err ... oh shit i think i lost it! ....says gordon as
he goes into xen ready to battle nihilanth....... ...but what he does instead
is go into it's big ass diaper... OH SHIT THE CONTINUITY OF THE STORY IS BROKEN!!
ITS BREAKING UP!!! OH GOD!! AHH!! ...and suck the Nithlanth's... ...erect...
...prostate... ....popsicle........ ...as in prostate cancer. Prostate cancer
primarily affects the gallbladder, which is another term for... penis.........which
is what gordon freeman said to barney calhoun. So barney dies all of a sudden,
and Otis is made head security guard at BMRF, which means....... ...that everybody
get free donuts... And they were poisened and otis was really the gman who was
really gordon who was really one of those worms that try and bite you when your
in the water…....which is impossible because everyone know that in the
Worms game series worms drown in water... ...which is impossible cause worms
like water thats why they come out of the ground when it rains....... ..which
prompts me to say to Secret-Agent, "Have you ever PLAYED any of the Worms
game series?"... which reminds Secret-Agent he meant to say possible, not
impossible, which makes him say "no i have never played those silly games....."
which causes BGY to..... ...urge him strongly to play it... But his urges do
not accomplish anything because Secret-Agent....... ...is being urged by Herbal
Essences... ...which is hair lice... ...orgasmic hair lice... with orgasmic.......
...contractions... of a thin piece of....... ...vagina... salted........ ...nuts...
...and then everybody went back to Chumtoad Land... where they found all the
chumtoads had died....... ...except Chubby... ......who had died....... ...but
respawned... ...and ran around humping the cadavers while yelling," YEAH
I'M FINNALY GETTING SOME!"... until chubby died again, this time for good.......................
...and everything died for good so there is nothing to tell a story about...
...except when everything came back alive and..... mysteriously weren't in the
land of, chubby land, they were actually many many planets away they had landed
in... ...Uranus....... ..but decided to stay in Uranus and go for some Anal
domination... oh crap no one gave me anything to say, I must blow up now"
he blew up causing.... ...}[]BlackMage[]{ to say stuff... ...claiming himself
story King. Then... Secret-Agent lines hit 400 something and is still a lowly
sven stalker, but with the powers of the schwartz, he we will reach his destiny
of story king and beyond. With the help from........ Mad Jonesy banning everyone
over 500 lines other than him and Sven because of all the crap that "The
B-Team" posts.. .........but he quickly changes his mind because he is
such a nice guy.......and that means....... ...that cows fly... ...and everyone
laugh's at arbron's cheap attempt to create laughter, when all of a sudden,
as arbron is happily eating grass from his hoof, realizes that he is dead. Which
manages to create the 1 thing known as....... ...cow pies... ...which is also
known as........ ...cow chips... ......also known as.... ...complete shit, as
in I lost all my lines and missed out on what happened, as in, what the hell
was the B-Team posts? I missed out….......so seeing as how no one has
sympathy for bgy, he commits suicide, and then respawns as a big fat guy who.....
...is very sad that no one cares… ......but in fact he was faking being
sad and he eventually kills himself again and respawns again and does something
which....... ...awes newbies, irks averages, and pisses off l33t$! THE MIGHTY
TELEFRAG... ...manwhore....... ...he-bitch... ..male prostitute... ...B.G.Y...
...big dis by Golem makes BGY mad and BGY does something, something so horrible,
what he did was..... ...kill Sven!!! "OH KNOW!!!" everybody screems,
"LETS KILL BGY!!!"... ..And we all killed BGY, and the one person
who assassinated him was Secret-Agent, so to award Agent, Mad Jonesy gave all
of BGY's lines to Agent, and now Secret-Agent has like 2000 lines, and he 0wnz
everybody, but the problem is...... they noticed something was falling from
over head, it was the corpes of a ...Sven that has risen form the "deathbog"
and restored to life. BGY's death caused sven to... .....die....... ...and since
Sven controls the space time continuum everything is rebooted and we are to
the part just before I die, and I am so mad that Secret-Agent killed me that
I do THIS to his car ...he does nothing cause Secret-Agent dos have a car...
...which prompts me to say, "Of course you don't, I just ripped it in half
in a fit of rage..."... ......which prompts Secret-Agent to say, "No."...............
...suddently Secret-Agent whips out a chainngun and blasts BGY. Unfortunatally
BGY has no... .......penis........ ...weakness to a chaingun... what the hell
i just said that only 2 seconds ago... r u stalking me? ..is what Kritter Said
to Agent, and Agent said "No, im just replying to whoever says something
last..." So everyone.... ...Rejoiced. Then kritter said "Well it just
seems odd that you talked so fast"...Well ....I get around....." Secret-Agent
replied. Then, a big thing name dhtrohtreh965454564654654654654 came and killed
people, by use of...... ...not fast for BGY... .......which was a portable thingy
device that killed people by... ...humping them to death... ...but people liked
it so they didn't die...... ...and best of all, King Bob repealed the Gum Tax...
...which all govenment officals need for their pay. Which made them so angry
they... ...destroyed a pyramid made of mud for Pharoah Bob... .....which was
made of mud...... ...so it dies easly... ...and it dies.... ...because it rained
and King Bob was instead remembered for the things that he had insituted during
his rule... ......selling condoms for 99 cents... ...which prompts me to ask,
"Are they second-hand condoms?"... ....."yes, you want to try
them out?" replied King Bob. "sure" BGY responded. So they.....
..all went down to the fair and had a gay time!! ........and they eventually
died because they saw BGY's new sig and they all said.... ...."This is
it man. Game over, man. GAME OVER"........which surprisingly sounded familiar
because.... ...aliens was playing on a tv next to them... and the alien was
obviously from mars attacks ... ack! ack! ack! ack! ack!... and the alien said
to the people : "ACK YOU AND ALL YOUR ACK ARE BELONG TO ACK!!!!"
Which made Pizza the Hut and Dark Helmet say....... ...for great justice drop
every ack... ....you know what you doing when you take off every ack........
...just then I say, "King Bob wouldn't sell that, it would be Hustler Kid
who would sell it when he opens up his trenchcoat"..........and finds a
condom in there." This made King Bob say: "So shall it be written,
so shall it be done!"... ........so shall it be neutered, so shall it shall
have no balls." And all the dogs and cats cried out in horror and they
said in unison: "SO SHALL IT BE WRITTEN, SO SHALL IT BE DONE!" But
everyone was like: "Dude wtf, dogs and cats don't talk..." So everyone
died of penis infectileisms and king bob said: "I'll repeal the Gum Tax"..."I'll
repeal the Gum Tax"...So everyone was confused why BGY says the same message
twice. Everyone died and..... ...there was a coup d'etat... .......or a manajge
a tois.....since Secret Agent cant do french things what he means to say is:
Threesome. ............So everyone excepted his proposal and they....... ...had
fun. One of them, Scuba Fred, enjoyed... .......glow in the dark........ ...Winger-Dingers...
....fully inflatable...... ...continuity...broken...oh no... ....and we all
die because.... ...continuity...broken...oh no... .......put back together again.....
"Yeah, just like Humpty Dumpty!" -Mack... ....DAddy..... ...Longlegs...
.....waxing..... ...Nad's skin remover... .......which had big balls because
of a virus whihc infected the.... ...B.G.Y.-11, who then said, "Why isn't
this story burning in the bowels of Planet Sad?" (quote inspired by Golem)...
then Mad Jonesy piped in with:
"Because it reminds all us normal people why we will never enter Planet
Sad.." then B.G.Y.-11 piped in with: "But what about Golem and Commando
and DeathBog and }[]BlackMage[]{ and even YOU??
Your plan has already failed so ya might as well chuck this thread in there
anyway..." until they all died which meant.... RESPAWN!!
And since we were on the map c0a0, we all got telefragged or saw the rear end
of a runaway train, promptly afterwards we fell into a pit. However, sv_gravity
was set to "50", and we could all jump around through the train's
route. We blew up the scientists and forklifts and Barneys along the way, and
when we got to the Apache, I said, "set the gravity to 0!" and it
was, and I jumped as high as I could over the Apache, then I said, "Set
the gravity to 99999999999999!" and it was, and I got gibbed when I fell
through the Apache, and then I said, "I got chopped up in the blade's rotors!
Get it? hahaha!" And then everyone said "BGY!!" at my lame joke,
and then we went on through the tram's route... .......and we couldnt go on
because the thing didnt open.......and even with noclip on there was no way
to continue. so we had a plan, we..... ...started masturbating….........and
some more masturbating lead to..... ..blindness.. ...WHICH IS A BLATANT LIE
STARTED BY UPTIGHT OVERLY RELIGIOUS ASSES... ......that died 10000 years agoSo,
anyways, we started masturbating with noclip on on the map c0a0, and... ......some
on accidently turned noclip off and our penises hit the ground and it hurt so
we killed BGY cause we thought hes the one who turned it off because it didnt
hurt him because he doesnt have a penis. But it was really Agent, and agent
was like a cool mega guy, and he did some...... ...yoga but not just any yoga
evil yoga... ...yoga which involved masturbation... wich happened in texas for
some reason or anthoer... hey what iam doing here? You are here to masturbate
to get on with c0a0 and to blow up Texas!
BGY chimed in... "Whoops" BGY said, I meant
"Masturbate, get it on with c0a0 then get blown by a Texan"
Everyone then looked at BGY then reached into their pants and drew out their..
...penises with the tattoos that said: "Thanks for bumping the story Jonesy!"
Then everyone started to mastubate, and then... they went blind.. the religious
nuts were talking the truth after all..
They then wandered around blindly and reached out for.. Their penises...except
nobody knew which one they were grabbing, and in the confusion... ...they grabbed
one anothers noses and BGY's finger went up secret-agent's nose & feeling
a big wet bogie there, BGY said... "You been keeping that warm for me Big
Boy?" ...but since everyone was confused, it was really Mad Jonesy who
said that...and since the masturbating has been goin on forever ans still no
ejaculation everyone's ballz... Wow. That is one bogey! [not meant to be misspelled]
So they went back went up secret-agent's nose & After some more searching,
they found what seemed like his brain.
Hmm...he didn't need that anyway.
*Splish* *Splish* as the brain bounces out of the story...
So, they dug deeper...and found what could be the most delicate, more interesting
thing than ever presented.... [And It's not an inside-out WANG leading to more
inside-out masturbation!!!!]
------------------------------------
You notice how BGY is infatuated [ex: overwhelmed] on masturbation
I wonder if his real name is Big G Y-something?
You broke the continuity of the story!! FIX IT.
Masturbating DOES NOT mean that you are gay! ...IT MEANS YOU ARE VERY LONELY
AND HAVE NO MONEY FOR WHORES...
End part 2