Tell a Story5
......ignored nomble...... ...then Sankis the Mighty story mini-god and warned the fellow "story" people to stop the spam or this will end up shit... .....everyone was very confused because the whole meaning of this topic was to spam and create weird and insenseless sentences.......
Meanwhile, people in the story... .....we're happy..... ...and ... .... stupid..... ....very stupid and one espesically loved mashed potatoes (me) alot so very much.... ....so he ate mashed potatoes and eventually died 80 years later.....
That's when Gordon noticed that the case of Mountian Dew he keeps by his couch had finally run out. Getting up with a groan and slipping on the feet to his HEV suit he gets his car keys and decides to make a trip to the store.
Then when he got out to his driveway he realized that he still couldn't open the door to his car (since quake-engie based games can't do that sort of thing). Letting out a big sigh he took his tram intstead. When he got to the store he turned down isle ... ......to buy food....... ...such as mashed potatoes.... Mattamue, is the todays subject.
Mattamue, why are you saying bad things about nombe?
-Oh well, my life is hard, i work in a mine in southafrica. And i i found some dimonds so i buyed alot of shit, like this computer, then i started to...
Well sorry mattamue, times up.
Mattamue died in HIV and AIDS 2 really bad things that grows in africa, the rat hole of the world.
Next weeks subejct is, why are it so many #¤#¤#"# parasites just in africa?
Cya next week in. Nombes, and BlackBird news!
Secret-Agent replied saying: Africa's hot and humid climate is a great place for parasites to live in..... great point you had there! The next subject is, why is HIV and ADIS such a big problem in africa? and why is this News thing have so much racism?
And Secret-Agent replies, because many people in Africa do not have the technology and protection to prevent or detect HIV, and so everyone was like 'ok' and back on Planet Chumtoad..... where the show is on, this minute subject is, Why is Gorge W. Bush president of the USÀ? ...because George Bush sucks compared to Al gore is what we all say.... then nomble throw out Secret agent out of the window and screams "GREY IS HERE"!! HAHAWHAWHAAHHAAA!!!!!! GET THAT AHhahahahaaaa!!223"#""#""""" .....Secret-Agent is satisfied that nomble is crazy, so ANYWAY back in Chumtoad Planet..... then the show goes on, Nomble scream again "GREY IS HERE!!!"#¤¤%¤¤%¤¤ GREYS HAHAHAHAHAHA!! GREY HUHUHUHUHU!!!"""!#¤##¤4 and Secret agent again was throwed out of the window... ...back in chumtoad Planet, chubby and his pals were having a nice sip of tea, when all of the sudden, the 172 survivors of the Chumtoads asault on the Planet of the Gays, came down with the leadership of the almighty Tor, to plan and destroy the chumtoads..... but secret agent still flying out of the window, and nomble still scream something about the Grey.... Ignoring logic, Ed leapt from the void and hit those responsible fer dumping him there. By means of a biiiggg crowbar.
Stalking the area with a truly enormous Mega-Zap!! (TM) Death-ray, he threatened to kill everyone unless the story started to make sense!
"Hello," said the orange water tree, and gave everyone mashed potato. Gordon woke up and began to wonder. I've beaten this game called Half-Life, but Theres this new one called Real Life. It consists of hard and mature responsibility, school, work, annoying people, and you can't pause or save the game. Gordon did not like this new game very much so he stopped playing it..... As soon as gordon stopped playing, however he was transported to the land of the l33t. He looked around and saw three people that looked like homer.
"om9!!! 50|\/|3 nO|\|-co0L |)oo|) I5 li|3 1N +|-|e l33t L@|\|D." said the Stupid Looking one.
Gordon looked at them strangely.
"w|-|aT 4Re j00 l1|3 LOOKI|\|g @+ |)00|)?!" said the stupid one again, "|\/|y |\|4mE I$ niCkY 8L4NcO! "
.... Then kritter said " God dam it. Where the hell did you come from?".... ... .....but magically he was already there.... and secret agent started to talk shit again........ .....but Secret-Agent was infacting making sense, a concept not yet acquired by Nomble. While chubby was being attack by Tor and his 171 other survivors, the planet of the gays was blown into 99999999999 billion pieces........ Is what mattamue explained, and is what Secret-Agent would do, but Nomble has been banned and everyone shouted:
"w00t!"
So we all partied till midnight...... We all celebrated and went over to my Word association to celebrate! ......and we all replied with 1 to 2 word answers or phrases and had a joyess occassion. But back in the land of chumtoads...... ...chummy had just eaten a large amount of... .... cheese twists and beer. He was quite angered that he didn't have any weed for the party tonight. So he got up and went to his dealer. While there he..... .... he overheard the G-man and his dealer talk about setting up and underground Chubtoad skin trade So he went on an assassination plot to destroy the G-man once and for all..... and then Marry G-Mans Boyfriend. ...who was really Walter...... But walter got killed in the black mesa so he had to choose someone else... so he decided... But walter survived the nuclear explosion because he was deep down in the lambda sector where the bomb did not reach so gordon really did like walter which was the gmans man.... the gman's man of duty for the sector C clean up management control...So Walter stood up and said…...."Do you know who ate all the donuts?"..... "That fool did! KILL HIM!" Bellowed Ed, and everyone took up arms (and guns) and shot Ed because they were annoyed... Secret-Agent Thanks edcrab for clearing that up. So to return the favor, Secret-Agent gave edcrab a chance to respawn... ...which he did, telefragging all the players who were stuck at respawn because of that damn blocker, and they couldn't kick him, since... He had Strapped a BOMB ONTO HIS CHEST AND WAS THREATING TO BLOW EM ALL TO HELL!!! unless they gave into his demands to...... ...blow up... an atomic fish which only one in existince which was in the island of...... Rhode ....island... The island of rhode island? that doesnt make any sense Is what dark said, and Secret-Agent politely reminded him that nothing in this story makes sense. So anyway, back in the land of the G-peoples..... They decided to make a time machine to go back to a place where atomic fish was everywhere BUT it was too confusing for them and decided to make THE ULTIMATE CRISP the ingredmints were...... ....crisp...... carboard and..... Styrofoam... Combined in a Vat of..... Soup... which tasted of LEAD POISINING and was being eaten by a ...... Drunk monkey... which was on the edge of a cliff..... .....and fell of and died.... BUT respawned in a dark room full off.... drunk monkeys... So all the drunk monkeys got together and DRANK A LOT OF BEER!!!!! and vodka!!!!and all got pissed..... ..off... and had a massive fight and all got beaten up and arrested but one of them had sneaked in a ..... ...drunk monkey.... trained in 134 diffrent types of marine and ranger unarmed and armed exsplsove training and escaped to set up a buiisness of.,..... ...selling drunk monkeys... which could kill a man in 8 seconds just by looking at it...... ......and he turned into a drunk monkey..... and soon enough the ENTIRE world was drunk monkeys nothin could stop them nothing BUT *A - TEAM TUNE* dododododo odododoooodooododododododuududuudodododoududdododud
STARING SVEN AS THE BRIANY ONE
JONSEY AS THE MAD ONE
AND ED AS THE GONE INSANE I LOVE HEAD CRAB ONE!!!!
DODODODOODOD but they.... ....were drunk monkeys.... and so NO the A TEAM had failed b4 they had begun forgetting that they had turned into drunk monkeys!!!
(MEANWHILE)
the leader {DoA}DrunkMonkey was discussing world domination plans in his massive evil fortreess constructed by the thousands of drunky munkey minions WHEN SUDDENLY.... .....drunk monkeys..... Beard.... ....filled with drunk monkeys.... and he tried the world domination plans to get them off
and it worked but then he can`t take over the world hmmmmmm he said SO he made a giant..... ...drunk monkey.... made of noodles.... in chicken noodle soup..... Then Sankis, was about to hit the LOCK story icon when... ...when everyone was like "Why?" and Sankis didn't know and neither did we so.... but then sankis Remembered why he did. ...but no one else did..... ... causing... .....nothing to happen at all...... ...but suddenly... ...stuff happened... and a scientist invented a new cloning system inventing twenty or more of the same story making the whole game turn completley into stupid shit! ...but some other stuff happened, like…..We actually got back into telling the story. . . ...which was... ...which were all eventully dumped in the void along with Ed's Ghetto Fortress of Despair and Commander Keen (don't ask- it's all Mad Jonsey's fault...)
Meanwhile Ed was finding inrasingly amusing ways to get drunk despite actually rarely drinking alchol. Under the inflnce slightly,, he typed his daily dose of spam before deciding to apss out somewhere convenient and scomfortable....
But... a new device, which was designed by the scientist that made the cloning system, he created many more of himself and then made a new peice of equipment called the HeP.E.U.
the Hazardous Enviroment Protective energy unit which powered a new Hev suit and gave gorman Freedan (the new original scientist) the ability to ..jump... ...a WHOLE INCH into the air... as he practised this difficult skill, he passed Ed who was saying a piece of spam in order to attract people over to Secret-Agent's Azure Sheep story in off-world so they could provide, towards Ed, sympathy, money, technical tips, the wanted download or all four, preffably 3 or 4 or even one depending on the cash amount. *ahem*...
However, all this jumping around led to... ....frogs... being eaten by the french.... ....who are very rude.. but very rich so secret agent, drunk and sankis decided to nik all ther cash..... .... after a while they succeeded, but they were stood on by a passing garg. Ed then looted their corpses for the cash, realised they were francs, swore, and threw them away.
However, the guys had respawned and they advanced on Ed for taking their cash- however, Ed teleported to safety although he left something behind in his wake.... it feel infront of his wouldbe persuers with a tinkly-clang.
It was green....
It was metal....
It was explosive...
It was a primed grenade.
The grenade exploded, and... ...killed ed..... *This page cannot be displayed
* check your browP
*[C:/My Documents/Map Reads/Legion Mappak/lg3/test.jpg]/
Invalid File Settings
{FORCE_SHOW_PICTURE]
Unknown command [WTF now that is wierd it ends up in the wrong damn story anyway and now I can't delete it...*sigh*]
However, Secret was mistaken as infact Ed was hiding in his aforementioned place of safety 1000 miles away. So he survived, despite the grenade really being a banana bomb, which exploded so mightly that it also killed Agent anyway... for some reason everybody died anyway including ed and they all respawned in a LARGE ,BLACK, RETANGLAR ....... ...respawn room... With a button in it which did.... ..the disco... walls... ...of fun... ...and wonderful people who gave out enormous amounts of money... to chubby charity organisations...... ...who kill chubbies... and barney's... ...and scientists... and well thats about it and so the organisation went around mercilissly killing things UNTILL they came to a..... big, large, undefeated...(dont say garg :P) SPATULA.... ..wielding garg... who was about to fix up a new snack which contained 1/4 pint of houndeye and ofcourse... ...3/4 headcrab's legs... ...and 17 small apples.
However, Ed was passing....
...and saw the headcrab dish.
In his rage, the mighty crab gibbed all present with his handy shotgun and RPG, before they even knew of his arrival. While they all respawned, dazed and confused, Ed buried his 'crabby chums and replaced the dish with chumtoad chow.
The team came and ate the meal made of 12 slaughtered mashed chumtoads. Much to Ed's annoyance, they figured out what it was, ate it anyway, and enjoyed it far better than bitter-tasting 'crab.
The team therefore ignored Ed and got the spatula-garg to... ...cook macaroni.... ..But the Garg used his flame-producing arms to cook the macaroni instead of the ususal stoves, stoves were less hot then Garg`s flame-arms and the macaroni melted so instead of eating macaroni, they ate melted-macaroni spread on sandwiches.... and bits of rubber.... Later they puked everything out and kenny got killed!
oh my god! they killed kenny!
After that Cartman... known as Madf jonesy, . THEN for NO reason watso ever a GIANT hole opened up where nomble was standing and he sank down down down into the pits of unfinished mods and games like team fortress 2 and eggs (ungame realated)....... And nomble played all the mods and unfinished games until he died, Nomble then be4 he died told everyone that he dont want to to be in a story. Everyone accepted that, and we went on with our lives of never speaking about him again.... The End? THE END????? how crap is that well it`s kinda crap id say about 8..... ANYWAY back to the story i`ll start from where we left off shall i??? ok last thing was from secret-agent and here`s the new bit
Unless the most powerfull force in the univeres collidied with a ping-pong ball which would create a...... ...ping pong ball... Cloneing machine... gun..... ..toating... ..garg... crosshair..... wielding... chainguns... ...of lead.. ...that... ..is.... ...non-existent... lump of cheese.......chips... which was about
to kill.... Dr. CheckOnThePoints. Who had jus turned into a chubby jus before hand.... after being killed by the urinal-with-wings that flew off 50 pages ago... ...in happyland.. ... where all the Headcrabs were eating chubbies, all the Gargs were dancing in the flowers, and all the snarks were exploding joyfully... until, a bad pit worm came and... ...pitted... A HOLE IN ONE...... ...pair of pants... and made the other into a fake handbag which looked like it was a...... ..real handbag... ... but nobody could figure out what to say next, so there was a big gaping hole in the story. Then .... ....we said 'just kidding' and... everything went to hell... While in hell, the team rested on a firey bed of ashes... pondering why they went to hell without dying... maybe their was a pot hole...but no one knew, they thought they had been warped into a map..but it was detailed to well, and they could feel the heat... all the sudden the gman walked by with his little suit case, turned towards the people, and set his suit case down... he then ripped off his face to reveal!!! That... gman was mysteriously telefragged a few milisecond after his face was ripped off... everyone blinked at teh same time just before his face ripped off so nobody saw it. After the 2 second respawn delay, Gman respawned and ………He whipped out his GIANT gun, and blew up the world.. The end...... Or is it........ Then the world respawned in a universe filled with...... applesauce.... ...eating.. ...Coconut Monkeys from PCG that were... ..filled with coconut... chewing leaves from a christmas tree while the roll of duct tape..... ...was eating.. The VCR that never worked. then... a big fat.... ...lemon with a chin... jumped out of the sewers only to find... ...the g-man with that giant gun again,
Coconut monkey begged for freedom but the gman... ...gave him freedom.. but for the price of HIS SOUL MWHAHAHAHAHAH...... but then, a big fat... long smooth cylinder SMASHED through the skylikgt with a a gigantic bomb and was threating to eat it if they all didn`t.... ... fix a broken respawn trigger .... So they decided to fix it, but in the midst of fixing, the G-Man from a few lines ago teleported in and whipped out a displacer, he was going to teleport the cylinder to the Xen area which allows you to spawn on a blank spot, making you fall to your death a la "Pit Worm`s Nest". But G-Man pushed the alt. fire and normal fire together and unintentionally exploited a bug which can allow you to teleport into the past, everyone including the cylinder and G-Man were teleported into the end of Half-Life where Gordon Freeman was about to make his choice when they all teleported in and telefragged Gordon, causing the current player playing as "Gordon Freeman" to get really pissed off about the game and decided to h4ck into the Web site of Valve software and Gearbox software, and made use of the hacked web sites to post nothing but fake news of Half-Life closing down and disallowing sale of any Half-Life games and its expansion and mods from continuing to be made, this pisses Gooseman, Sven Viking and all other mod makers and went to kill Randy Pitchford, Robin Walker, Steve Theodore, Guthrie and other Valve/Gearbox staffs....
Back in the G-Man, cylinder and the player`s side:The spawning of the future G-Man into the past G-Man caused a lapse in the time space continum and G-Man began glowing green and was teleported earlier and earlier in time until... he landed up that morinng b4 he had breakfast and met himself but htey got pissed off by one of other and broke into a massive fight with 2 g-mans and a cyclinder thing and then...... ... there was a resonance cascade ... ..scenario... palyer then connected to the game and started shooting the other players. He ws called a n00b repeatidly when he finaly figured out how to talk and said what is a n00b when th gargantua toasted his scrawny a$$. Then.... ...the garg got killed by... a PAPER CUTting machine.. that skweaks ...metal.. rusting.... ..pipes... carrying.... ...flamable liquids that... were used to power up the b.g.y. machine that broke anyways because it... Timmothy, the scientist, had too much to eat that day. But then suddenly... A big fat..... green..... guy with an afro and a piece of rope walked into the room and for no apperent reason his head exploded causing... ..an explosion... of all the cabbages in the world.... ...everyone was thankful... untill THEY exploded aswell... ..and then they imploded.. into a small box which then turned in to a BLACK HOLE and sucked in a ..... a gient **** then the black hole jumped up and down like a little schoolgirl screaming... ..."help".. Suddenly... ...something happened... a headcrab.... ..ate.. gman. Gordon then proceded to... ...walk.. forward... ...to the secret room... ..and back outside.. ...Black Mesa that suddenly explodes... ..again... he takes up the BFG from his pocket and shoot the fat grunt eating donuts, the fat grunt explodes as the medic on HaStE's Avatar... and then into the lake. Then, someone threw a banana bomb, which was supposed to be a secret. The resulting explosion (from people using it too much) caused Sven Co-op to crash, and ruined Sven Viking's work on (instert current mod state here). Luckily, the files were backed up on who-knows-where, and they were recovered. Then the mothership from ID4 abducted Barney, took out some vital organs, whiped out a Polaroid camera, took some pictures, and put him back where they found him. Barney made a full recovery, and later returned to unclog the toilet from the beginning. Then snarks blew him up.
Then the administrator / G-Man appeared, and snarks blew him up. Unfortunately, the G-Man pulled himself back together like the the other guy in Terminator 2, but that's beside the point. Then Gordon, Gina, Barney, and anybody I missed.... died. Only to be respawned in a map called c2a2 where the is only one respawn point. Each respawn resulted in a telefrag. Then suddenly, A bullsquid appeared from nowehre which... could talk. it told gordon that the xen race didnt really mean to invade earth. suddenly a huge foot... stopmed The Talking Bullsquid before it could say the reason why they wanted to invade Earth, the foot belonged to bigfoot, who... was eating his breakfast at the time, which was.... his other foot... was sewed onto the experimental Friendly Garg(Whose leg was cut off by the Military) by Walter Bennett who saw bigfoot eating breakfast and secretly injected anaesthesia to the leg while cutting it off so bigfoot wouldn`t realise it. With bigfoot now without any legs, he was nicknamed "nofoot" instead.. But that wasn`t all he also had no head but he didn`t relise it untill.... ...it all happened.. Suddenly because the story stopped making sense the universe imploded. Then a new universe was created inhabated by sentient toast. Suddenly an ashtray... ..coughed.. up 100 billion pounds/dollars for sven`s donation but it failed to when it...... the standard of Pounds in comparison to the money all around the worild droppped rapidly and soon even a zillion pounds, are at the most, 1 dollar only!
Sven was so pissed that he.... ...released 2.0... ...and on svenco-op 2 there was a virus that deleted your HD when u started it.... .... but anyway A big fat.... ...thing... fell from the heavens... ..and into hell... So there nomble was, in hell, when.... ...he was litterally flamed to death... ...by barney's flamethrower.
Half-Life crashed and barney got pissed so he... deleted win 98 and installed a dual boot of windows 2000 on in NTFS format and linux. Barney's computer liked it so much that it... ... deleted Internet Explorer from the desktops of computers everywhere, and there was much rejoicing. Until lthey realized that they had to use netscape and everyone in the world commited suicide. Once again, it was a map that had only one respawn so there was a telefraggin orgy for 3 years. Three years went by, everyone bue a lucky few had a deathcount of negative bilions due to respawning so much. After that, Barney's computer.... ..crashed... into a wall as everyone finaly got out of the telefrag orgy and obliterated the thing... it was literaly vaporized. SUDDENLY... 'IT' happened... A Jamakin mon with lots of dreadlocks that formed the shape of 8 ft. tall bill clintion jumped from the air vent landing on gordon and breaking a light on the celing with his hair. Gordon got up, and proceeded to kick his ass.... The jamaka mon whipped out *HIS* HEV suit from his hair and quicky put it on before gordon got to him. Then, they each were fighting for days and weeks untill... ..gordon peed his pants.. so did Jamaka Mon ..and they ate each other.. Vigorusly.. Untill... ..the Gman walked in... proceded to eat Jamaka Mon's hair... ..and his hair blew up.. making Gman's jaw explode... ..and causing gordon's beard to explode.. and then to implode... ... and lots of other cool stuff that ends with -plode. Then after the Jamaca mon, Gordon, and G-Man came to an agreement, they all played Metal Slug X at the local pizza place. Then .... While playing, Gordon mistook G-Man`s chracter in the gaem as the enemy and continued to kill G-Man`s character until the "Game Over" screen shows. G-Man blew his top and wanted to displace Gordon! But seconds later, Gordon took out a "literaller" and made G-Man "blowing his top" come true! G-Man literally blew his top and kept imploding until... ... untill the Metal Slug (Super Vehicle 001) burst in, and... uh.... killed Sankis.... No other was harmed, so Nomble went on to get out of the story "AGAIN" Then nomble was gone.. But while leaving, Nomble tripped on rows of tripmines set by the admins who used to call him an old dog in an effort to kill him, but they forgot that Nomble always uses god mode... But then Sankis noticed he was an Immortal Mini-god and couldn't die. then Nomble Screamed at AntiblockerZgrunt to stop riping up old things to make Nomble sad and angry... Then friendly garg came and said to everyone on the story who is nasty to shut up and talk about nice things.
Like flowers..
and svencoop and much, much more nice things!
Then, finally somebody talked nice and said the following: But then one of the sentient pieces of toast that everyone forgot about walked into the room in a world supposedly not inhabited by humans and saw Nomble, Friendly Garg, Gordon, Sankis and AntiBlockerzGrunt. The confused toast exploded, then imploded, then exploded twice more, then burst into a yeast precipitation. Gordons shoulder suddenly... burst like a balloon and Gordon`s shoulder was gone, all that was left was his shoulder bone, but it wasn`t noticeable since Gordon was wearing a HEV suit and no one can see his skin. Gordon was screaming in pain while the others thought he was trying to get attention and ignored him... untill thought to put him out of his missery and blasted his brains out and then they all went around and jumped onto a tabe and did the...... ...hokey pokey.. with machine guns and..... ...people.. which were full of money made of..... ..paper.. planes.... ..that flies.. around volcanoes..... ..and falls in.. ... and then the map changed, and everyone was sent to a world not with sentient toast, but (bum bum bum!)...
Sentient Bread!
Fortunately, the respawn worked correctly, and nobody got telefraged. Then the sentient bread tossed everybody into a toaster. ..and they were toasted.. ..sbut not fully toasted, only lightly browned... ..into a golden crisp.. And then the respawns broke again and everyone was telefraggin untill the beta server's timelimit of 9 days was up and the map changed again. But, somone connected when the scores were being shown and everyone got the no entite bug!!! So....... All the players became blind and coincidentally, the next map is svencoop2, because of their blindness, they failed to locate the green grunt and.... tor ran in and raped all the players while they were blinded, he eventually ate a chum toad and exploded. The players moarned the death of tor, although they couldn't see him.... ... then everyone switched to a dial-up conection, which gave them CL_Flushentitypacket errors. which created many tables for NO APARENT REASON WAT SO EVER!!...... The tables then came to life, picked up fire axes and proceeded to cut off everybody's feet, just so that they could feel the pain that trees go through. Then the tables realized they were made of metal, and apologized. ...making the story oh so much lamer. Meanwhile in a can of tuna chubby was... ..eating.. fried chicken and watermelon just to confirm what everyone was thinking... ...about tuna.. Out of Story
Now I remember why i stopped saying thinga in this story :P ..is what macros said.. ... and Bingo was his name-o .... bingoooooooooo was his name ooooooooooo ..but everyone was joking because... chubby slapped chubby BACK into reality and they all sat down to eat tuna/watermelons/chubby food/metal tables...... ..except no.. one was actually there..... ..at the place.. that was made of polystyrene.... ..things.. ...that ate chocolate to... ..bad.. amounts of nuckleur waste that had been put into the atmososphere and was but to..... ...stupid to tell drunk monkey that he needs to take his time so people understand him cause no one does and never will and its really gettng annoying... ... and then everybody went to the magical, far away place where the air smelled like warm root beer, and the shriners and the lepors played their ukilaleys all day long, and anyone on the street would gladly shave their back for a nickel. Then they all woke up from their extremely disturbing shared dream. ...because they were in Albequerque, and had 2 kids named Nathaniel and Super Fly.. wnich poked bob-o while he was sleeping in the corner and reminded him that the site was back up, which caused a voliton chain reaction, which caused... the new anti blocking code for 2.0 to be deleted from existence and someone stood in the doorway and bob-o couldnt get out, although thanks to his genius anti-blocker voting system already on his server the blockers head exploded in a variety of different beautiful colours. Just then a pink elephant... ...died on the planet... ...bing bing... goes the cash regester as it rings up bob-o's lunch, Realizing he onyl has 3$ in his wallet from the other posting game, He is forced to jump the old grannie next to him for the extra 50 cents he needs to get his Number 6 combo with no lettuce or tomato with extra mayo and a frostie instead of a coke or somthing at wendys. Then the old granie... ...layed the smackdown on bob's ass... and then the grannie got shot by a rabid chicmonk.. ...on weed that was grown by... Jamaka Mon.... ... then the rabbid chipmunk was beaten up by Super SaiyaMan .... which caused some of the chipmonk's blood to contaminate Super SaiyaMan's blood and he subsequentialy got infected with rabies and expolded instantly. Suddenly... the giant urinal with wings that keeps showing up in here flew down from the sky ranting the entire way about how people shouldnt piss on it. This drove all of the people at Wendys to... buy (you guessed it) 5 number 6 combos with no lettuce or tomato with extra mayo and a frosty instead of a coke or somthing. Suddenly the chili machine..... exploaded because the urinal with wings dumped a gooy acid stuff from all the piss on it onto the machine. Everyone knew they must do something so Undeadenemy used his mysterious powers to throw the giant-urinal-with-wings into the pit of fire from which noone could return without Undeadenemys explict permission. The urinal dumped its goo on ed-crab who had gone insane since being left in there 20 pages ago. Undeadenemy felt sorry for him so he let him out. Everything returned to normal at Wendys so Undeadenemy moved along to a... random hall in the BMRF where the 'slinking' hairy mass of stuf was still crawling around the halls... Feeling disturbed, Gordon then... shot himself. Undeadenemy knew that this couldn't happen as Gordon is the main character and cant get out of his HL2 contract, so Undead used his necromancing powers to bring Gordon back to life. Gordon got pissed and shot Undead several times but as he is a necromancer, he cannot die. So Undead sat there and laughed at poor living Gordon. Later on that day... The garbage truck came and emptied the garbage cans. Suddenly... Osama Bin Laden came out of the truck wielding machine guns and explosives. Everyone tried to attack and kill him but Undead manifested a barrier to stop them getting to him. Everyone looked on in awe as Osama opend fire and everyone feared Undead killed. However, as the bullets flew toward Undead his anger soared and flames covered his body from his overflowing evergy level. He blasted flames at Osama incinerating the bullets along the way. Osama tried to run, but he was overswept by the flames. His shrill screams made all but Undead hold their ears. Just before Osama was about to die, Undead stopped his death and put a curse on him that he lay dieing for all eternity. As Osama brned lying on the ground Undead cast him into the firy pit from which noone could return without Undeads permission and everyone cheered. They all celebrated Osamas eternal torture at a nightclub where they served... ..head.. to old people and apple sause and pills to young people (kinda backwards) To fix this everyone... ..ate people.. swiftly…....and non-chalantely... until... ferris bueler... ... who spontaneously combusted, and .... caused his video tapes to combust, lighting bob-o's shaved head on fire and causing him to dip his head into the first abundent source of water, The toilet. OH NO, Suddenly bob-o realized he looks like a really really white elf and then Suddenly... chocolate reigned supream over the entire world. So Undeadenemy decided to... ...eat.. ...whoever made the stupid voice on net thing with half life 1108 which causes it to crash after every game of tfc and various other mods. suddenly a rare plastic obergine... ...but it doesnt do that to anyone else so... chocolate still reigned supream... And then bob-o ate it. ON NO, GORDON... died, but Undeadenemy brought him back to life agian... And then a headcrab appeared... ..in his mouth.. only to be swallowed in a matter of seconds... ...with some major backwash.... followed by the oozing of that yellow blood stuff out of gordon's left nosteral... (and only in hte left nosteral) And then it started to ooze profousely... and it turned into a jet stream of that yellow, sticky, and somtimes chunky, blood. Spraying that crap everywhere, Gordon... ..ate it.. quickly... and he found it more efficent for him to attach a tube to his nose and the other end to his mouth so he would make such a mess... then... ...as.. Gordon... Freeman... swallowed ...the... thing... ..with..
a.. ...big.. spatula wielding garg... ..antua... psycically being controlled by Jamaka Mon who... ...had wild hair.. which was so wild it caused him and his spatula wielding garg to explode, and thus making the entire universe implode, explode several times, implode a bit more and then burst into 7 tasty colours which formed a rainbow. Suddenly a large book covered with wooden slivers... ..crashed... into the face of a blocker who was not letting me out of the room. Just then... 2.0 was realeased! And the blocker exploded due to a slay vote! Many beautiful colours emerged from the corpse, because a blocker dying is a joyous occasion. Just then a dangerously obese person fell down the stairs and his supreme weight when it hit the floor opened up a gate to hell which... ...opened up.. and out flew a swarm of ravenous tables that bit people but were all destroyed by... ..destroyers.. that destroy things in a destroying fury. they also happened to look like a large swarm of pencil sharpeners. One of them Imploded thus causing... A massive ammount of lead to spew every were in sharp shards which were just as bad as ..graphite.. mechanical.... ... pencils from another universe where it is full of loathing and self-doubt and rakced with the pain and isloation of your pifitul and meaningless existence where .... the helecopter... .. crashes and ... causes a... another implosion and because so many implosions occur... it makes turrican crap his pants :X then as he does a chumtoad comes and saves him by.. but the turrican who crapped his pants wasnt the real turrican he was the turrican out of turrican 1 who was crappy. i am turrican 2 for the atari ST. I left the story because i didnt want to be in it and was replaced by walter who proceeded to shit himself. While imploding at the same time, Causing an extremely messy mess ...messed up.. Then out of the sky... ...something.. was skydiving... ...in something... called... ..sky diving.. sport... ..of.. falling... ..in the sky... Then a garg came out of the sky and stopped this stupid story about skydiving!
When the garg landed he met... five gluon troopers which started trying to waste the garg but then all the sudden ...something.. ... happened. ..again.. ... and then everyone was teleported to the land of Anime, where everyone had bad dubbing .... ....and was teleported back to a better drawn world... which sadly was connected to a virus called the ....virus... of G which means it was called the G-Virus, which means everyone but Undeadenemy turned into a zombie because he was already a zombie/necromancer/mage then... ...my.. ...apple shooting machine... ...gun.. ...with added plastic... began to skydive... ...into a multidimensional vortex which transported it... back to the airplane where.... ...sky divers.. jumped out... ..and dived.. down to... ...earth when suddenly... ..earth.. blew up the... ....earth.. ... and then everyone went back to the land of sentient bread, which was now mixed with the Anime world, making things look really freaky. The sentient bread helped Gordon and co. fix the toilet at the beginning with one of their giant robots, and then Gordon used that Relocator-thingy to get them out of there. until something screwed up with the... carton of milk.... which cause a... refridgerator to... skydive... from the airplane which also was... ... in the land of sentient bread .... where the LOAFs of bread get smushed by the skydiving refrdigerator. Suddenly... the evil toast man burned all the houses down with his magical fire. gordon saw the innocent breadies being burnt and had to hellp them so he... Whipped out a displacer and teleported the breads back to Earth safely, only to get them stuck in space as the Earth was no more. They began falling....falling...falling like in Xen, until they got sucked in by the Black Hole and miraculously teleported them into Xen, the breads rejoiced at first, but then some Alien Slaves recognize them through their visit to Earth. They remembered that they were edible so they use their electrical shocks to shock them till they become golden brown, but then Gordon also teleported but teleported on the slave and it got telefragged. That wasn`t the present Gordon, but was the Gordon from the past when he first travelled into the border world. he left and then suddenly one of Adrain`s Soldiers, a medic, teleported in and saw the toasted bread. He decided to heal them first and then eat it to make them not rot until he ate them. The breads were healed and rejoiced for a while. but then the medic ate them, only to realised that they were too hard due to being electrocuted by the slave, which caused his teeth to explode and gum to implode and his whole mouth to......... open... and to be bloated with blood and soon it became so big that the medic`s mouth burst like a snark and blood splatter everywhere. The breads became a little disgusted and decided to leave him to die in Xen since he tried to kill them. They jumped into an interdimensional portal opened suddenly in front of them, and the end up on top of the G-Man`s head at the end of Half-Life. The past-Gordon Freeman saw it and wondered why G-Man wasn`t telefragged, when he himself, even far away from G-Man, suffered the telefrag radius. Actually. G-Man`s is actually feeling excruciating pain but his scirpted_sequences disallowed him to shout. So he was forced to speak according to his scirpt but soon could not hold it any longer and.... ...the game crashed.. but it rebooted itself and laughed... Your owned, and will always be owned by Nomble! HAHAHAHA!! until Nomble died... (remember Undeadenemy is a necromancer so he can get out of anything u pull no matter what dont MAKE me put u back in the fire pit of no return) a horrible death.. then Undead replied WHASSSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPP.... ...and then Secret-Agent edited his post before undead edited his but then he replied: "WASSUP?!!!!!!"... then Undead asked " WAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
PPPPPPPP????????? Then undeadenemy died becurse Nomble was a Paladin making the necro fly back to hell where he belong. But nomble then killed the angel tyreal, and then flied away back to his computer chair... then Nomble said "OH SHIT!" as he realized Undeadenemy can't go back to hell because he hasn't been there a first time. Nomble whirled around to find Undeadenemy already charged up for his famous fire attack that he used on Osama Bin Laden. Nomble tried to draw his sword but it was too late, Undead incinerated Nomble and his ashes became fireflies. And that is the legend of where fireflies come from.
THE END
Fireflies flew around and stuff... ...and then the fireflies buzzed off and Secret-Agent thanked Sankis for saving the world and gordon decided to.. ...shoot himself in the head 3 times trying to permanantly kill himself, but Undeadenemy brought him back to life AGAIN. Gordon who was really really really pissed... ... decided to play Sven Co-op with the 1108 patch installed. However, since he had an ATI board with OpenGL, his computer crashed, and he got so angry that he .... ...downloaded the ATI patch... downloaded the ATI patch... And then proceded to install the ATI patch... ....and it worked.. until... it broke.... ..it continued to not not work... untill it not not not worked... then alll of a sudden the guideline of the story completly changed for no apparent reason... ....and stuff... ... then one day gordan freeman was driving around in his ferrai then suddelney...
(lets get back on track here.) the feriary not not went fast stright into a(n)... ... extremely large wedge of cheese. The cheese told Gordon to go to the Black Mesa Reserch Facility, and Gordon decided he wasn't going to eat week old burritos any more. So he went to "Taco Bell" instead of going to Black Mesa, which apparently an accident involving the interdimensional portals being opened in a freak anti-spectrometer accident that day. Gordon was relived that he wasn`t there as the fortune teller next door of Black Mesa predicted that he would be either working for G-Man or dying at the present day, but G-Man didn`t let Gordon off. He delibrately NOT tell Gordon about the incident and told Gordon he was fired for missing work. Gordon was so pissed but he was unarmed. So he took the taco on his hand and shoved it into G-Man`s mouth, in an attempt to choke him, but surprisingly, G-Man had mouth as big as his head(He doesn`t have brains and other organs in his head). So G-Man swallowed it and told Gordon that if Gordon would to buy him 1000000 Tacos for him he would rehire him, other wise he would die. Gordon refused and G-Man was about to teleport him to Xen when...he forgot to bring his handy-dandy displacer! So he took his briefcase and whacked Gordon in the head and carried him on his shoulder(a la Science and Industry) and brought Gordon to the LARGE teleporter at the end of Lambda Core and manually changed the configurations of the teleporter as he put Gordon on the portal opener, but G-Man didn`t know how to use the portal controls and instead of teleporting Gordon to Xen, he teleported him to... a big fat…shit cake... and but Gordon had a cold then and could not smell the stench of the shit and started to eat the giant-sized shit cake. After eating it, he had indigestion, a stomachache and vomited them all our again. He soon realized that he was minimized to the size of a RAT due to the G-Man`s misconfiguarions! Gordon seized this opputunity to go to.... hell, with Sankis. Nomble then Waved good bye to Sankis when he was draged back to the buring hell. So Nomble grabbed a Flamethrower and started FLAMING sankis. He then got into trouble... with Santa and his maniac elf army.. Sankis was raped brutaly, over and over again, now thats another story. Somewhere along long long time ago... Nomble was sitting and thinking about what to say next, maybe my first map with 500leaks, or was it 600? He dident know. Until a fireball of steel killed nomble and lived in heaven..... In a glas room... ....with glass.. ... but Nomble forgot that people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, and he threw one. The result was that Nomble went to a deep, dark, eerie, scary place that was filled with pain (no, not hell, in the dumpster behind a McDonalds). Ronald McDonald then appeared, and helped Nomble out. Nomble got an evil idea, and just before he could kill Ronald McDonald, ragingtofu apeared from nowhere and kicked Nomble's butt. Feeling his work was done, ragingtofu left. Then Nomble killed Ronald McDonald. The news spread quickly throughout McDonald land, and soon Grimace, Hamburglar, the Fry Kids, and that weird bird thing mourned the death of Ronald. They then proceeded to beat up Nomble. ...and then ate some Burger King... and there they met Sankis, and bowed before him for giving them 24 Nomble free hours! ....it was a glorious spectacle.. While everyone enjoyed nomble's absence, nomble him self had been banished to trainracingv1.bsp where he.... Turned off the safety hood and raced off to... the firey pit off death where he belonged because Undeadenemy put him there and hadnt given him permission to leave but the old func_train code disabled the tram from going into the firey pit and nomble got scourched on his arms and thid stopped him from operating the tram and this results in.. it crashing into a building witha sign that said... the anti blocking headquaters. Then a blocker came out and was gunned down by every respectable member of the sven community who hates blockers. then Nombel fell in the fire pit because there was no way to avoid it and he doesnt get there on a func_train anyway. So Nomble burned for all eternity... As he was burning, he realized that his flesh was falling off in peices. Being the hungry little bastard that he is, he strted eating those peices. Thus, cannibal zombie nomble was born. ...butted him.. then....cannibal zombie nomble wandered around BMRF looking for food, he set his sights upon... ...Walter's butt.... ...walter turned around and screamed, he started running but nomble got up to him, ripped off his pants and... Began feasting upon his bowels (this is disgusting) But then one of the really cool scis from SHL came in (luther) and unleashed a double 357 bullet rain upon nomble. Everyone was overwhelmed at the idea of a sci holding two 357s and immediately banded together to make the code for SHL2 to include scis with double glocks and 357s. then finally gordon popped back in and whipped out his trusty pocket sized Research Facility nuker (now in 3 colors!) and threw it on the ground, a loud blast occured and a light blinded everyone to soon reveal.... ... the red Kool-Aid guy. walter, survivng the "blast" walked up to the kool aid man
Walter: Fascinating!
Kool Aid Guy: OOOHHHH YEAHHHHH!
Walter: AUGH! OH MY GOD WERE DOOMED!
walter started to run, but the kool aid man gobbled him up and said "OOOHHHH YEAHHHHH!" but then gordon stood up and... changed into an agent who began trying to sell... sporks, because THERE IS NO SPOON! then the kool aid man said... Prepare to drink my tasty red concoction of doom! The agent tasted it, and laughed. This was the most delicious drink he had ever tasted before, in his entire life! Then, he jumped right into the Kool-Aid man, drank all that was left, and made the Kool-Aid man explode! (A la the Matrix) Then the agent came out and made the walls wave around, sadly he made them move to close inward and squished all the kids going hail koolaid.... he started running away after this until he met up with an elf who was going to give him three wishes, The agent... chose as his first wish to destroy every blocker in the world. His second wish was... for a sheep who's wool was soaked in kool aid, he third wish was... To have infinite wishes, but as everyone knows this has terrible concequences. He turned into a genie! Elsewhere though a baby gargantua... Started a factory that manufactured miniature factories. That produces MININATURE BABY gargs, which were about the size of a BullSquid, the mini-baby gargs became the workers of the mini factory and built an even smaller factory which produces... microscopic Baby gargs. But they were evil, so the USA sent in Tiny Elvis to take care of the job. Tiny Elvis wiped the gargs out with incredible effeciency. then the g-man killed the president and took over, sending Tiny Elvis on a job to assasinate gordon! so tiny elvis went to the BMRF and.... Tiny Elvis was walked up tot Gordon! Then Gordon, not noticing Elvis's firearm, began to tell Elvis how much he loved his music. Elvis was flattered and so he and Gordon banded together to defeat the evil G-Man. well, since they didnt know how to get out of the BMRF (Tiny Elvis forgot) gordon took a gluon gun, pointed it upwards and fired for about 3 hours (he used the sheep and some electrodes for ammo) untill he saw light comin out of the hole, then Tiny Elvis climbed through the hole and..... Enilsted the help of a sci to cut through the ground. Then, TE, GF, and Walter continued outside on their quest.
(meanwhile in the g-man's office)
::struts around office::
Gman: well i finally took over america! tiny elvis should be back with gordons goatee so i can sell it on the black market...
then... the gman, looking over at a console saw that Gordon's tracer chip that was implemented in his suit was still active
Gman:that cant be right...
all of a sudden GF, TE, and Walter burst into the room and...
HoHoHo off to part6
......ignored nomble...... ...then Sankis the Mighty story mini-god and warned the fellow "story" people to stop the spam or this will end up shit... .....everyone was very confused because the whole meaning of this topic was to spam and create weird and insenseless sentences.......
Meanwhile, people in the story... .....we're happy..... ...and ... .... stupid..... ....very stupid and one espesically loved mashed potatoes (me) alot so very much.... ....so he ate mashed potatoes and eventually died 80 years later.....
That's when Gordon noticed that the case of Mountian Dew he keeps by his couch had finally run out. Getting up with a groan and slipping on the feet to his HEV suit he gets his car keys and decides to make a trip to the store.
Then when he got out to his driveway he realized that he still couldn't open the door to his car (since quake-engie based games can't do that sort of thing). Letting out a big sigh he took his tram intstead. When he got to the store he turned down isle ... ......to buy food....... ...such as mashed potatoes.... Mattamue, is the todays subject.
Mattamue, why are you saying bad things about nombe?
-Oh well, my life is hard, i work in a mine in southafrica. And i i found some dimonds so i buyed alot of shit, like this computer, then i started to...
Well sorry mattamue, times up.
Mattamue died in HIV and AIDS 2 really bad things that grows in africa, the rat hole of the world.
Next weeks subejct is, why are it so many #¤#¤#"# parasites just in africa?
Cya next week in. Nombes, and BlackBird news!
Secret-Agent replied saying: Africa's hot and humid climate is a great place for parasites to live in..... great point you had there! The next subject is, why is HIV and ADIS such a big problem in africa? and why is this News thing have so much racism?
And Secret-Agent replies, because many people in Africa do not have the technology and protection to prevent or detect HIV, and so everyone was like 'ok' and back on Planet Chumtoad..... where the show is on, this minute subject is, Why is Gorge W. Bush president of the USÀ? ...because George Bush sucks compared to Al gore is what we all say.... then nomble throw out Secret agent out of the window and screams "GREY IS HERE"!! HAHAWHAWHAAHHAAA!!!!!! GET THAT AHhahahahaaaa!!223"#""#""""" .....Secret-Agent is satisfied that nomble is crazy, so ANYWAY back in Chumtoad Planet..... then the show goes on, Nomble scream again "GREY IS HERE!!!"#¤¤%¤¤%¤¤ GREYS HAHAHAHAHAHA!! GREY HUHUHUHUHU!!!"""!#¤##¤4 and Secret agent again was throwed out of the window... ...back in chumtoad Planet, chubby and his pals were having a nice sip of tea, when all of the sudden, the 172 survivors of the Chumtoads asault on the Planet of the Gays, came down with the leadership of the almighty Tor, to plan and destroy the chumtoads..... but secret agent still flying out of the window, and nomble still scream something about the Grey.... Ignoring logic, Ed leapt from the void and hit those responsible fer dumping him there. By means of a biiiggg crowbar.
Stalking the area with a truly enormous Mega-Zap!! (TM) Death-ray, he threatened to kill everyone unless the story started to make sense!
"Hello," said the orange water tree, and gave everyone mashed potato. Gordon woke up and began to wonder. I've beaten this game called Half-Life, but Theres this new one called Real Life. It consists of hard and mature responsibility, school, work, annoying people, and you can't pause or save the game. Gordon did not like this new game very much so he stopped playing it..... As soon as gordon stopped playing, however he was transported to the land of the l33t. He looked around and saw three people that looked like homer.
"om9!!! 50|\/|3 nO|\|-co0L |)oo|) I5 li|3 1N +|-|e l33t L@|\|D." said the Stupid Looking one.
Gordon looked at them strangely.
"w|-|aT 4Re j00 l1|3 LOOKI|\|g @+ |)00|)?!" said the stupid one again, "|\/|y |\|4mE I$ niCkY 8L4NcO! "
.... Then kritter said " God dam it. Where the hell did you come from?".... ... .....but magically he was already there.... and secret agent started to talk shit again........ .....but Secret-Agent was infacting making sense, a concept not yet acquired by Nomble. While chubby was being attack by Tor and his 171 other survivors, the planet of the gays was blown into 99999999999 billion pieces........ Is what mattamue explained, and is what Secret-Agent would do, but Nomble has been banned and everyone shouted:
"w00t!"
So we all partied till midnight...... We all celebrated and went over to my Word association to celebrate! ......and we all replied with 1 to 2 word answers or phrases and had a joyess occassion. But back in the land of chumtoads...... ...chummy had just eaten a large amount of... .... cheese twists and beer. He was quite angered that he didn't have any weed for the party tonight. So he got up and went to his dealer. While there he..... .... he overheard the G-man and his dealer talk about setting up and underground Chubtoad skin trade So he went on an assassination plot to destroy the G-man once and for all..... and then Marry G-Mans Boyfriend. ...who was really Walter...... But walter got killed in the black mesa so he had to choose someone else... so he decided... But walter survived the nuclear explosion because he was deep down in the lambda sector where the bomb did not reach so gordon really did like walter which was the gmans man.... the gman's man of duty for the sector C clean up management control...So Walter stood up and said…...."Do you know who ate all the donuts?"..... "That fool did! KILL HIM!" Bellowed Ed, and everyone took up arms (and guns) and shot Ed because they were annoyed... Secret-Agent Thanks edcrab for clearing that up. So to return the favor, Secret-Agent gave edcrab a chance to respawn... ...which he did, telefragging all the players who were stuck at respawn because of that damn blocker, and they couldn't kick him, since... He had Strapped a BOMB ONTO HIS CHEST AND WAS THREATING TO BLOW EM ALL TO HELL!!! unless they gave into his demands to...... ...blow up... an atomic fish which only one in existince which was in the island of...... Rhode ....island... The island of rhode island? that doesnt make any sense Is what dark said, and Secret-Agent politely reminded him that nothing in this story makes sense. So anyway, back in the land of the G-peoples..... They decided to make a time machine to go back to a place where atomic fish was everywhere BUT it was too confusing for them and decided to make THE ULTIMATE CRISP the ingredmints were...... ....crisp...... carboard and..... Styrofoam... Combined in a Vat of..... Soup... which tasted of LEAD POISINING and was being eaten by a ...... Drunk monkey... which was on the edge of a cliff..... .....and fell of and died.... BUT respawned in a dark room full off.... drunk monkeys... So all the drunk monkeys got together and DRANK A LOT OF BEER!!!!! and vodka!!!!and all got pissed..... ..off... and had a massive fight and all got beaten up and arrested but one of them had sneaked in a ..... ...drunk monkey.... trained in 134 diffrent types of marine and ranger unarmed and armed exsplsove training and escaped to set up a buiisness of.,..... ...selling drunk monkeys... which could kill a man in 8 seconds just by looking at it...... ......and he turned into a drunk monkey..... and soon enough the ENTIRE world was drunk monkeys nothin could stop them nothing BUT *A - TEAM TUNE* dododododo odododoooodooododododododuududuudodododoududdododud
STARING SVEN AS THE BRIANY ONE
JONSEY AS THE MAD ONE
AND ED AS THE GONE INSANE I LOVE HEAD CRAB ONE!!!!
DODODODOODOD but they.... ....were drunk monkeys.... and so NO the A TEAM had failed b4 they had begun forgetting that they had turned into drunk monkeys!!!
(MEANWHILE)
the leader {DoA}DrunkMonkey was discussing world domination plans in his massive evil fortreess constructed by the thousands of drunky munkey minions WHEN SUDDENLY.... .....drunk monkeys..... Beard.... ....filled with drunk monkeys.... and he tried the world domination plans to get them off
and it worked but then he can`t take over the world hmmmmmm he said SO he made a giant..... ...drunk monkey.... made of noodles.... in chicken noodle soup..... Then Sankis, was about to hit the LOCK story icon when... ...when everyone was like "Why?" and Sankis didn't know and neither did we so.... but then sankis Remembered why he did. ...but no one else did..... ... causing... .....nothing to happen at all...... ...but suddenly... ...stuff happened... and a scientist invented a new cloning system inventing twenty or more of the same story making the whole game turn completley into stupid shit! ...but some other stuff happened, like…..We actually got back into telling the story. . . ...which was... ...which were all eventully dumped in the void along with Ed's Ghetto Fortress of Despair and Commander Keen (don't ask- it's all Mad Jonsey's fault...)
Meanwhile Ed was finding inrasingly amusing ways to get drunk despite actually rarely drinking alchol. Under the inflnce slightly,, he typed his daily dose of spam before deciding to apss out somewhere convenient and scomfortable....
But... a new device, which was designed by the scientist that made the cloning system, he created many more of himself and then made a new peice of equipment called the HeP.E.U.
the Hazardous Enviroment Protective energy unit which powered a new Hev suit and gave gorman Freedan (the new original scientist) the ability to ..jump... ...a WHOLE INCH into the air... as he practised this difficult skill, he passed Ed who was saying a piece of spam in order to attract people over to Secret-Agent's Azure Sheep story in off-world so they could provide, towards Ed, sympathy, money, technical tips, the wanted download or all four, preffably 3 or 4 or even one depending on the cash amount. *ahem*...
However, all this jumping around led to... ....frogs... being eaten by the french.... ....who are very rude.. but very rich so secret agent, drunk and sankis decided to nik all ther cash..... .... after a while they succeeded, but they were stood on by a passing garg. Ed then looted their corpses for the cash, realised they were francs, swore, and threw them away.
However, the guys had respawned and they advanced on Ed for taking their cash- however, Ed teleported to safety although he left something behind in his wake.... it feel infront of his wouldbe persuers with a tinkly-clang.
It was green....
It was metal....
It was explosive...
It was a primed grenade.
The grenade exploded, and... ...killed ed..... *This page cannot be displayed
* check your browP
*[C:/My Documents/Map Reads/Legion Mappak/lg3/test.jpg]/
Invalid File Settings
{FORCE_SHOW_PICTURE]
Unknown command [WTF now that is wierd it ends up in the wrong damn story anyway and now I can't delete it...*sigh*]
However, Secret was mistaken as infact Ed was hiding in his aforementioned place of safety 1000 miles away. So he survived, despite the grenade really being a banana bomb, which exploded so mightly that it also killed Agent anyway... for some reason everybody died anyway including ed and they all respawned in a LARGE ,BLACK, RETANGLAR ....... ...respawn room... With a button in it which did.... ..the disco... walls... ...of fun... ...and wonderful people who gave out enormous amounts of money... to chubby charity organisations...... ...who kill chubbies... and barney's... ...and scientists... and well thats about it and so the organisation went around mercilissly killing things UNTILL they came to a..... big, large, undefeated...(dont say garg :P) SPATULA.... ..wielding garg... who was about to fix up a new snack which contained 1/4 pint of houndeye and ofcourse... ...3/4 headcrab's legs... ...and 17 small apples.
However, Ed was passing....
...and saw the headcrab dish.
In his rage, the mighty crab gibbed all present with his handy shotgun and RPG, before they even knew of his arrival. While they all respawned, dazed and confused, Ed buried his 'crabby chums and replaced the dish with chumtoad chow.
The team came and ate the meal made of 12 slaughtered mashed chumtoads. Much to Ed's annoyance, they figured out what it was, ate it anyway, and enjoyed it far better than bitter-tasting 'crab.
The team therefore ignored Ed and got the spatula-garg to... ...cook macaroni.... ..But the Garg used his flame-producing arms to cook the macaroni instead of the ususal stoves, stoves were less hot then Garg`s flame-arms and the macaroni melted so instead of eating macaroni, they ate melted-macaroni spread on sandwiches.... and bits of rubber.... Later they puked everything out and kenny got killed!
oh my god! they killed kenny!
After that Cartman... known as Madf jonesy, . THEN for NO reason watso ever a GIANT hole opened up where nomble was standing and he sank down down down into the pits of unfinished mods and games like team fortress 2 and eggs (ungame realated)....... And nomble played all the mods and unfinished games until he died, Nomble then be4 he died told everyone that he dont want to to be in a story. Everyone accepted that, and we went on with our lives of never speaking about him again.... The End? THE END????? how crap is that well it`s kinda crap id say about 8..... ANYWAY back to the story i`ll start from where we left off shall i??? ok last thing was from secret-agent and here`s the new bit
Unless the most powerfull force in the univeres collidied with a ping-pong ball which would create a...... ...ping pong ball... Cloneing machine... gun..... ..toating... ..garg... crosshair..... wielding... chainguns... ...of lead.. ...that... ..is.... ...non-existent... lump of cheese.......chips... which was about
to kill.... Dr. CheckOnThePoints. Who had jus turned into a chubby jus before hand.... after being killed by the urinal-with-wings that flew off 50 pages ago... ...in happyland.. ... where all the Headcrabs were eating chubbies, all the Gargs were dancing in the flowers, and all the snarks were exploding joyfully... until, a bad pit worm came and... ...pitted... A HOLE IN ONE...... ...pair of pants... and made the other into a fake handbag which looked like it was a...... ..real handbag... ... but nobody could figure out what to say next, so there was a big gaping hole in the story. Then .... ....we said 'just kidding' and... everything went to hell... While in hell, the team rested on a firey bed of ashes... pondering why they went to hell without dying... maybe their was a pot hole...but no one knew, they thought they had been warped into a map..but it was detailed to well, and they could feel the heat... all the sudden the gman walked by with his little suit case, turned towards the people, and set his suit case down... he then ripped off his face to reveal!!! That... gman was mysteriously telefragged a few milisecond after his face was ripped off... everyone blinked at teh same time just before his face ripped off so nobody saw it. After the 2 second respawn delay, Gman respawned and ………He whipped out his GIANT gun, and blew up the world.. The end...... Or is it........ Then the world respawned in a universe filled with...... applesauce.... ...eating.. ...Coconut Monkeys from PCG that were... ..filled with coconut... chewing leaves from a christmas tree while the roll of duct tape..... ...was eating.. The VCR that never worked. then... a big fat.... ...lemon with a chin... jumped out of the sewers only to find... ...the g-man with that giant gun again,
Coconut monkey begged for freedom but the gman... ...gave him freedom.. but for the price of HIS SOUL MWHAHAHAHAHAH...... but then, a big fat... long smooth cylinder SMASHED through the skylikgt with a a gigantic bomb and was threating to eat it if they all didn`t.... ... fix a broken respawn trigger .... So they decided to fix it, but in the midst of fixing, the G-Man from a few lines ago teleported in and whipped out a displacer, he was going to teleport the cylinder to the Xen area which allows you to spawn on a blank spot, making you fall to your death a la "Pit Worm`s Nest". But G-Man pushed the alt. fire and normal fire together and unintentionally exploited a bug which can allow you to teleport into the past, everyone including the cylinder and G-Man were teleported into the end of Half-Life where Gordon Freeman was about to make his choice when they all teleported in and telefragged Gordon, causing the current player playing as "Gordon Freeman" to get really pissed off about the game and decided to h4ck into the Web site of Valve software and Gearbox software, and made use of the hacked web sites to post nothing but fake news of Half-Life closing down and disallowing sale of any Half-Life games and its expansion and mods from continuing to be made, this pisses Gooseman, Sven Viking and all other mod makers and went to kill Randy Pitchford, Robin Walker, Steve Theodore, Guthrie and other Valve/Gearbox staffs....
Back in the G-Man, cylinder and the player`s side:The spawning of the future G-Man into the past G-Man caused a lapse in the time space continum and G-Man began glowing green and was teleported earlier and earlier in time until... he landed up that morinng b4 he had breakfast and met himself but htey got pissed off by one of other and broke into a massive fight with 2 g-mans and a cyclinder thing and then...... ... there was a resonance cascade ... ..scenario... palyer then connected to the game and started shooting the other players. He ws called a n00b repeatidly when he finaly figured out how to talk and said what is a n00b when th gargantua toasted his scrawny a$$. Then.... ...the garg got killed by... a PAPER CUTting machine.. that skweaks ...metal.. rusting.... ..pipes... carrying.... ...flamable liquids that... were used to power up the b.g.y. machine that broke anyways because it... Timmothy, the scientist, had too much to eat that day. But then suddenly... A big fat..... green..... guy with an afro and a piece of rope walked into the room and for no apperent reason his head exploded causing... ..an explosion... of all the cabbages in the world.... ...everyone was thankful... untill THEY exploded aswell... ..and then they imploded.. into a small box which then turned in to a BLACK HOLE and sucked in a ..... a gient **** then the black hole jumped up and down like a little schoolgirl screaming... ..."help".. Suddenly... ...something happened... a headcrab.... ..ate.. gman. Gordon then proceded to... ...walk.. forward... ...to the secret room... ..and back outside.. ...Black Mesa that suddenly explodes... ..again... he takes up the BFG from his pocket and shoot the fat grunt eating donuts, the fat grunt explodes as the medic on HaStE's Avatar... and then into the lake. Then, someone threw a banana bomb, which was supposed to be a secret. The resulting explosion (from people using it too much) caused Sven Co-op to crash, and ruined Sven Viking's work on (instert current mod state here). Luckily, the files were backed up on who-knows-where, and they were recovered. Then the mothership from ID4 abducted Barney, took out some vital organs, whiped out a Polaroid camera, took some pictures, and put him back where they found him. Barney made a full recovery, and later returned to unclog the toilet from the beginning. Then snarks blew him up.
Then the administrator / G-Man appeared, and snarks blew him up. Unfortunately, the G-Man pulled himself back together like the the other guy in Terminator 2, but that's beside the point. Then Gordon, Gina, Barney, and anybody I missed.... died. Only to be respawned in a map called c2a2 where the is only one respawn point. Each respawn resulted in a telefrag. Then suddenly, A bullsquid appeared from nowehre which... could talk. it told gordon that the xen race didnt really mean to invade earth. suddenly a huge foot... stopmed The Talking Bullsquid before it could say the reason why they wanted to invade Earth, the foot belonged to bigfoot, who... was eating his breakfast at the time, which was.... his other foot... was sewed onto the experimental Friendly Garg(Whose leg was cut off by the Military) by Walter Bennett who saw bigfoot eating breakfast and secretly injected anaesthesia to the leg while cutting it off so bigfoot wouldn`t realise it. With bigfoot now without any legs, he was nicknamed "nofoot" instead.. But that wasn`t all he also had no head but he didn`t relise it untill.... ...it all happened.. Suddenly because the story stopped making sense the universe imploded. Then a new universe was created inhabated by sentient toast. Suddenly an ashtray... ..coughed.. up 100 billion pounds/dollars for sven`s donation but it failed to when it...... the standard of Pounds in comparison to the money all around the worild droppped rapidly and soon even a zillion pounds, are at the most, 1 dollar only!
Sven was so pissed that he.... ...released 2.0... ...and on svenco-op 2 there was a virus that deleted your HD when u started it.... .... but anyway A big fat.... ...thing... fell from the heavens... ..and into hell... So there nomble was, in hell, when.... ...he was litterally flamed to death... ...by barney's flamethrower.
Half-Life crashed and barney got pissed so he... deleted win 98 and installed a dual boot of windows 2000 on in NTFS format and linux. Barney's computer liked it so much that it... ... deleted Internet Explorer from the desktops of computers everywhere, and there was much rejoicing. Until lthey realized that they had to use netscape and everyone in the world commited suicide. Once again, it was a map that had only one respawn so there was a telefraggin orgy for 3 years. Three years went by, everyone bue a lucky few had a deathcount of negative bilions due to respawning so much. After that, Barney's computer.... ..crashed... into a wall as everyone finaly got out of the telefrag orgy and obliterated the thing... it was literaly vaporized. SUDDENLY... 'IT' happened... A Jamakin mon with lots of dreadlocks that formed the shape of 8 ft. tall bill clintion jumped from the air vent landing on gordon and breaking a light on the celing with his hair. Gordon got up, and proceeded to kick his ass.... The jamaka mon whipped out *HIS* HEV suit from his hair and quicky put it on before gordon got to him. Then, they each were fighting for days and weeks untill... ..gordon peed his pants.. so did Jamaka Mon ..and they ate each other.. Vigorusly.. Untill... ..the Gman walked in... proceded to eat Jamaka Mon's hair... ..and his hair blew up.. making Gman's jaw explode... ..and causing gordon's beard to explode.. and then to implode... ... and lots of other cool stuff that ends with -plode. Then after the Jamaca mon, Gordon, and G-Man came to an agreement, they all played Metal Slug X at the local pizza place. Then .... While playing, Gordon mistook G-Man`s chracter in the gaem as the enemy and continued to kill G-Man`s character until the "Game Over" screen shows. G-Man blew his top and wanted to displace Gordon! But seconds later, Gordon took out a "literaller" and made G-Man "blowing his top" come true! G-Man literally blew his top and kept imploding until... ... untill the Metal Slug (Super Vehicle 001) burst in, and... uh.... killed Sankis.... No other was harmed, so Nomble went on to get out of the story "AGAIN" Then nomble was gone.. But while leaving, Nomble tripped on rows of tripmines set by the admins who used to call him an old dog in an effort to kill him, but they forgot that Nomble always uses god mode... But then Sankis noticed he was an Immortal Mini-god and couldn't die. then Nomble Screamed at AntiblockerZgrunt to stop riping up old things to make Nomble sad and angry... Then friendly garg came and said to everyone on the story who is nasty to shut up and talk about nice things.
Like flowers..
and svencoop and much, much more nice things!
Then, finally somebody talked nice and said the following: But then one of the sentient pieces of toast that everyone forgot about walked into the room in a world supposedly not inhabited by humans and saw Nomble, Friendly Garg, Gordon, Sankis and AntiBlockerzGrunt. The confused toast exploded, then imploded, then exploded twice more, then burst into a yeast precipitation. Gordons shoulder suddenly... burst like a balloon and Gordon`s shoulder was gone, all that was left was his shoulder bone, but it wasn`t noticeable since Gordon was wearing a HEV suit and no one can see his skin. Gordon was screaming in pain while the others thought he was trying to get attention and ignored him... untill thought to put him out of his missery and blasted his brains out and then they all went around and jumped onto a tabe and did the...... ...hokey pokey.. with machine guns and..... ...people.. which were full of money made of..... ..paper.. planes.... ..that flies.. around volcanoes..... ..and falls in.. ... and then the map changed, and everyone was sent to a world not with sentient toast, but (bum bum bum!)...
Sentient Bread!
Fortunately, the respawn worked correctly, and nobody got telefraged. Then the sentient bread tossed everybody into a toaster. ..and they were toasted.. ..sbut not fully toasted, only lightly browned... ..into a golden crisp.. And then the respawns broke again and everyone was telefraggin untill the beta server's timelimit of 9 days was up and the map changed again. But, somone connected when the scores were being shown and everyone got the no entite bug!!! So....... All the players became blind and coincidentally, the next map is svencoop2, because of their blindness, they failed to locate the green grunt and.... tor ran in and raped all the players while they were blinded, he eventually ate a chum toad and exploded. The players moarned the death of tor, although they couldn't see him.... ... then everyone switched to a dial-up conection, which gave them CL_Flushentitypacket errors. which created many tables for NO APARENT REASON WAT SO EVER!!...... The tables then came to life, picked up fire axes and proceeded to cut off everybody's feet, just so that they could feel the pain that trees go through. Then the tables realized they were made of metal, and apologized. ...making the story oh so much lamer. Meanwhile in a can of tuna chubby was... ..eating.. fried chicken and watermelon just to confirm what everyone was thinking... ...about tuna.. Out of Story
Now I remember why i stopped saying thinga in this story :P ..is what macros said.. ... and Bingo was his name-o .... bingoooooooooo was his name ooooooooooo ..but everyone was joking because... chubby slapped chubby BACK into reality and they all sat down to eat tuna/watermelons/chubby food/metal tables...... ..except no.. one was actually there..... ..at the place.. that was made of polystyrene.... ..things.. ...that ate chocolate to... ..bad.. amounts of nuckleur waste that had been put into the atmososphere and was but to..... ...stupid to tell drunk monkey that he needs to take his time so people understand him cause no one does and never will and its really gettng annoying... ... and then everybody went to the magical, far away place where the air smelled like warm root beer, and the shriners and the lepors played their ukilaleys all day long, and anyone on the street would gladly shave their back for a nickel. Then they all woke up from their extremely disturbing shared dream. ...because they were in Albequerque, and had 2 kids named Nathaniel and Super Fly.. wnich poked bob-o while he was sleeping in the corner and reminded him that the site was back up, which caused a voliton chain reaction, which caused... the new anti blocking code for 2.0 to be deleted from existence and someone stood in the doorway and bob-o couldnt get out, although thanks to his genius anti-blocker voting system already on his server the blockers head exploded in a variety of different beautiful colours. Just then a pink elephant... ...died on the planet... ...bing bing... goes the cash regester as it rings up bob-o's lunch, Realizing he onyl has 3$ in his wallet from the other posting game, He is forced to jump the old grannie next to him for the extra 50 cents he needs to get his Number 6 combo with no lettuce or tomato with extra mayo and a frostie instead of a coke or somthing at wendys. Then the old granie... ...layed the smackdown on bob's ass... and then the grannie got shot by a rabid chicmonk.. ...on weed that was grown by... Jamaka Mon.... ... then the rabbid chipmunk was beaten up by Super SaiyaMan .... which caused some of the chipmonk's blood to contaminate Super SaiyaMan's blood and he subsequentialy got infected with rabies and expolded instantly. Suddenly... the giant urinal with wings that keeps showing up in here flew down from the sky ranting the entire way about how people shouldnt piss on it. This drove all of the people at Wendys to... buy (you guessed it) 5 number 6 combos with no lettuce or tomato with extra mayo and a frosty instead of a coke or somthing. Suddenly the chili machine..... exploaded because the urinal with wings dumped a gooy acid stuff from all the piss on it onto the machine. Everyone knew they must do something so Undeadenemy used his mysterious powers to throw the giant-urinal-with-wings into the pit of fire from which noone could return without Undeadenemys explict permission. The urinal dumped its goo on ed-crab who had gone insane since being left in there 20 pages ago. Undeadenemy felt sorry for him so he let him out. Everything returned to normal at Wendys so Undeadenemy moved along to a... random hall in the BMRF where the 'slinking' hairy mass of stuf was still crawling around the halls... Feeling disturbed, Gordon then... shot himself. Undeadenemy knew that this couldn't happen as Gordon is the main character and cant get out of his HL2 contract, so Undead used his necromancing powers to bring Gordon back to life. Gordon got pissed and shot Undead several times but as he is a necromancer, he cannot die. So Undead sat there and laughed at poor living Gordon. Later on that day... The garbage truck came and emptied the garbage cans. Suddenly... Osama Bin Laden came out of the truck wielding machine guns and explosives. Everyone tried to attack and kill him but Undead manifested a barrier to stop them getting to him. Everyone looked on in awe as Osama opend fire and everyone feared Undead killed. However, as the bullets flew toward Undead his anger soared and flames covered his body from his overflowing evergy level. He blasted flames at Osama incinerating the bullets along the way. Osama tried to run, but he was overswept by the flames. His shrill screams made all but Undead hold their ears. Just before Osama was about to die, Undead stopped his death and put a curse on him that he lay dieing for all eternity. As Osama brned lying on the ground Undead cast him into the firy pit from which noone could return without Undeads permission and everyone cheered. They all celebrated Osamas eternal torture at a nightclub where they served... ..head.. to old people and apple sause and pills to young people (kinda backwards) To fix this everyone... ..ate people.. swiftly…....and non-chalantely... until... ferris bueler... ... who spontaneously combusted, and .... caused his video tapes to combust, lighting bob-o's shaved head on fire and causing him to dip his head into the first abundent source of water, The toilet. OH NO, Suddenly bob-o realized he looks like a really really white elf and then Suddenly... chocolate reigned supream over the entire world. So Undeadenemy decided to... ...eat.. ...whoever made the stupid voice on net thing with half life 1108 which causes it to crash after every game of tfc and various other mods. suddenly a rare plastic obergine... ...but it doesnt do that to anyone else so... chocolate still reigned supream... And then bob-o ate it. ON NO, GORDON... died, but Undeadenemy brought him back to life agian... And then a headcrab appeared... ..in his mouth.. only to be swallowed in a matter of seconds... ...with some major backwash.... followed by the oozing of that yellow blood stuff out of gordon's left nosteral... (and only in hte left nosteral) And then it started to ooze profousely... and it turned into a jet stream of that yellow, sticky, and somtimes chunky, blood. Spraying that crap everywhere, Gordon... ..ate it.. quickly... and he found it more efficent for him to attach a tube to his nose and the other end to his mouth so he would make such a mess... then... ...as.. Gordon... Freeman... swallowed ...the... thing... ..with..
a.. ...big.. spatula wielding garg... ..antua... psycically being controlled by Jamaka Mon who... ...had wild hair.. which was so wild it caused him and his spatula wielding garg to explode, and thus making the entire universe implode, explode several times, implode a bit more and then burst into 7 tasty colours which formed a rainbow. Suddenly a large book covered with wooden slivers... ..crashed... into the face of a blocker who was not letting me out of the room. Just then... 2.0 was realeased! And the blocker exploded due to a slay vote! Many beautiful colours emerged from the corpse, because a blocker dying is a joyous occasion. Just then a dangerously obese person fell down the stairs and his supreme weight when it hit the floor opened up a gate to hell which... ...opened up.. and out flew a swarm of ravenous tables that bit people but were all destroyed by... ..destroyers.. that destroy things in a destroying fury. they also happened to look like a large swarm of pencil sharpeners. One of them Imploded thus causing... A massive ammount of lead to spew every were in sharp shards which were just as bad as ..graphite.. mechanical.... ... pencils from another universe where it is full of loathing and self-doubt and rakced with the pain and isloation of your pifitul and meaningless existence where .... the helecopter... .. crashes and ... causes a... another implosion and because so many implosions occur... it makes turrican crap his pants :X then as he does a chumtoad comes and saves him by.. but the turrican who crapped his pants wasnt the real turrican he was the turrican out of turrican 1 who was crappy. i am turrican 2 for the atari ST. I left the story because i didnt want to be in it and was replaced by walter who proceeded to shit himself. While imploding at the same time, Causing an extremely messy mess ...messed up.. Then out of the sky... ...something.. was skydiving... ...in something... called... ..sky diving.. sport... ..of.. falling... ..in the sky... Then a garg came out of the sky and stopped this stupid story about skydiving!
When the garg landed he met... five gluon troopers which started trying to waste the garg but then all the sudden ...something.. ... happened. ..again.. ... and then everyone was teleported to the land of Anime, where everyone had bad dubbing .... ....and was teleported back to a better drawn world... which sadly was connected to a virus called the ....virus... of G which means it was called the G-Virus, which means everyone but Undeadenemy turned into a zombie because he was already a zombie/necromancer/mage then... ...my.. ...apple shooting machine... ...gun.. ...with added plastic... began to skydive... ...into a multidimensional vortex which transported it... back to the airplane where.... ...sky divers.. jumped out... ..and dived.. down to... ...earth when suddenly... ..earth.. blew up the... ....earth.. ... and then everyone went back to the land of sentient bread, which was now mixed with the Anime world, making things look really freaky. The sentient bread helped Gordon and co. fix the toilet at the beginning with one of their giant robots, and then Gordon used that Relocator-thingy to get them out of there. until something screwed up with the... carton of milk.... which cause a... refridgerator to... skydive... from the airplane which also was... ... in the land of sentient bread .... where the LOAFs of bread get smushed by the skydiving refrdigerator. Suddenly... the evil toast man burned all the houses down with his magical fire. gordon saw the innocent breadies being burnt and had to hellp them so he... Whipped out a displacer and teleported the breads back to Earth safely, only to get them stuck in space as the Earth was no more. They began falling....falling...falling like in Xen, until they got sucked in by the Black Hole and miraculously teleported them into Xen, the breads rejoiced at first, but then some Alien Slaves recognize them through their visit to Earth. They remembered that they were edible so they use their electrical shocks to shock them till they become golden brown, but then Gordon also teleported but teleported on the slave and it got telefragged. That wasn`t the present Gordon, but was the Gordon from the past when he first travelled into the border world. he left and then suddenly one of Adrain`s Soldiers, a medic, teleported in and saw the toasted bread. He decided to heal them first and then eat it to make them not rot until he ate them. The breads were healed and rejoiced for a while. but then the medic ate them, only to realised that they were too hard due to being electrocuted by the slave, which caused his teeth to explode and gum to implode and his whole mouth to......... open... and to be bloated with blood and soon it became so big that the medic`s mouth burst like a snark and blood splatter everywhere. The breads became a little disgusted and decided to leave him to die in Xen since he tried to kill them. They jumped into an interdimensional portal opened suddenly in front of them, and the end up on top of the G-Man`s head at the end of Half-Life. The past-Gordon Freeman saw it and wondered why G-Man wasn`t telefragged, when he himself, even far away from G-Man, suffered the telefrag radius. Actually. G-Man`s is actually feeling excruciating pain but his scirpted_sequences disallowed him to shout. So he was forced to speak according to his scirpt but soon could not hold it any longer and.... ...the game crashed.. but it rebooted itself and laughed... Your owned, and will always be owned by Nomble! HAHAHAHA!! until Nomble died... (remember Undeadenemy is a necromancer so he can get out of anything u pull no matter what dont MAKE me put u back in the fire pit of no return) a horrible death.. then Undead replied WHASSSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPP.... ...and then Secret-Agent edited his post before undead edited his but then he replied: "WASSUP?!!!!!!"... then Undead asked " WAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
PPPPPPPP????????? Then undeadenemy died becurse Nomble was a Paladin making the necro fly back to hell where he belong. But nomble then killed the angel tyreal, and then flied away back to his computer chair... then Nomble said "OH SHIT!" as he realized Undeadenemy can't go back to hell because he hasn't been there a first time. Nomble whirled around to find Undeadenemy already charged up for his famous fire attack that he used on Osama Bin Laden. Nomble tried to draw his sword but it was too late, Undead incinerated Nomble and his ashes became fireflies. And that is the legend of where fireflies come from.
THE END
Fireflies flew around and stuff... ...and then the fireflies buzzed off and Secret-Agent thanked Sankis for saving the world and gordon decided to.. ...shoot himself in the head 3 times trying to permanantly kill himself, but Undeadenemy brought him back to life AGAIN. Gordon who was really really really pissed... ... decided to play Sven Co-op with the 1108 patch installed. However, since he had an ATI board with OpenGL, his computer crashed, and he got so angry that he .... ...downloaded the ATI patch... downloaded the ATI patch... And then proceded to install the ATI patch... ....and it worked.. until... it broke.... ..it continued to not not work... untill it not not not worked... then alll of a sudden the guideline of the story completly changed for no apparent reason... ....and stuff... ... then one day gordan freeman was driving around in his ferrai then suddelney...
(lets get back on track here.) the feriary not not went fast stright into a(n)... ... extremely large wedge of cheese. The cheese told Gordon to go to the Black Mesa Reserch Facility, and Gordon decided he wasn't going to eat week old burritos any more. So he went to "Taco Bell" instead of going to Black Mesa, which apparently an accident involving the interdimensional portals being opened in a freak anti-spectrometer accident that day. Gordon was relived that he wasn`t there as the fortune teller next door of Black Mesa predicted that he would be either working for G-Man or dying at the present day, but G-Man didn`t let Gordon off. He delibrately NOT tell Gordon about the incident and told Gordon he was fired for missing work. Gordon was so pissed but he was unarmed. So he took the taco on his hand and shoved it into G-Man`s mouth, in an attempt to choke him, but surprisingly, G-Man had mouth as big as his head(He doesn`t have brains and other organs in his head). So G-Man swallowed it and told Gordon that if Gordon would to buy him 1000000 Tacos for him he would rehire him, other wise he would die. Gordon refused and G-Man was about to teleport him to Xen when...he forgot to bring his handy-dandy displacer! So he took his briefcase and whacked Gordon in the head and carried him on his shoulder(a la Science and Industry) and brought Gordon to the LARGE teleporter at the end of Lambda Core and manually changed the configurations of the teleporter as he put Gordon on the portal opener, but G-Man didn`t know how to use the portal controls and instead of teleporting Gordon to Xen, he teleported him to... a big fat…shit cake... and but Gordon had a cold then and could not smell the stench of the shit and started to eat the giant-sized shit cake. After eating it, he had indigestion, a stomachache and vomited them all our again. He soon realized that he was minimized to the size of a RAT due to the G-Man`s misconfiguarions! Gordon seized this opputunity to go to.... hell, with Sankis. Nomble then Waved good bye to Sankis when he was draged back to the buring hell. So Nomble grabbed a Flamethrower and started FLAMING sankis. He then got into trouble... with Santa and his maniac elf army.. Sankis was raped brutaly, over and over again, now thats another story. Somewhere along long long time ago... Nomble was sitting and thinking about what to say next, maybe my first map with 500leaks, or was it 600? He dident know. Until a fireball of steel killed nomble and lived in heaven..... In a glas room... ....with glass.. ... but Nomble forgot that people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, and he threw one. The result was that Nomble went to a deep, dark, eerie, scary place that was filled with pain (no, not hell, in the dumpster behind a McDonalds). Ronald McDonald then appeared, and helped Nomble out. Nomble got an evil idea, and just before he could kill Ronald McDonald, ragingtofu apeared from nowhere and kicked Nomble's butt. Feeling his work was done, ragingtofu left. Then Nomble killed Ronald McDonald. The news spread quickly throughout McDonald land, and soon Grimace, Hamburglar, the Fry Kids, and that weird bird thing mourned the death of Ronald. They then proceeded to beat up Nomble. ...and then ate some Burger King... and there they met Sankis, and bowed before him for giving them 24 Nomble free hours! ....it was a glorious spectacle.. While everyone enjoyed nomble's absence, nomble him self had been banished to trainracingv1.bsp where he.... Turned off the safety hood and raced off to... the firey pit off death where he belonged because Undeadenemy put him there and hadnt given him permission to leave but the old func_train code disabled the tram from going into the firey pit and nomble got scourched on his arms and thid stopped him from operating the tram and this results in.. it crashing into a building witha sign that said... the anti blocking headquaters. Then a blocker came out and was gunned down by every respectable member of the sven community who hates blockers. then Nombel fell in the fire pit because there was no way to avoid it and he doesnt get there on a func_train anyway. So Nomble burned for all eternity... As he was burning, he realized that his flesh was falling off in peices. Being the hungry little bastard that he is, he strted eating those peices. Thus, cannibal zombie nomble was born. ...butted him.. then....cannibal zombie nomble wandered around BMRF looking for food, he set his sights upon... ...Walter's butt.... ...walter turned around and screamed, he started running but nomble got up to him, ripped off his pants and... Began feasting upon his bowels (this is disgusting) But then one of the really cool scis from SHL came in (luther) and unleashed a double 357 bullet rain upon nomble. Everyone was overwhelmed at the idea of a sci holding two 357s and immediately banded together to make the code for SHL2 to include scis with double glocks and 357s. then finally gordon popped back in and whipped out his trusty pocket sized Research Facility nuker (now in 3 colors!) and threw it on the ground, a loud blast occured and a light blinded everyone to soon reveal.... ... the red Kool-Aid guy. walter, survivng the "blast" walked up to the kool aid man
Walter: Fascinating!
Kool Aid Guy: OOOHHHH YEAHHHHH!
Walter: AUGH! OH MY GOD WERE DOOMED!
walter started to run, but the kool aid man gobbled him up and said "OOOHHHH YEAHHHHH!" but then gordon stood up and... changed into an agent who began trying to sell... sporks, because THERE IS NO SPOON! then the kool aid man said... Prepare to drink my tasty red concoction of doom! The agent tasted it, and laughed. This was the most delicious drink he had ever tasted before, in his entire life! Then, he jumped right into the Kool-Aid man, drank all that was left, and made the Kool-Aid man explode! (A la the Matrix) Then the agent came out and made the walls wave around, sadly he made them move to close inward and squished all the kids going hail koolaid.... he started running away after this until he met up with an elf who was going to give him three wishes, The agent... chose as his first wish to destroy every blocker in the world. His second wish was... for a sheep who's wool was soaked in kool aid, he third wish was... To have infinite wishes, but as everyone knows this has terrible concequences. He turned into a genie! Elsewhere though a baby gargantua... Started a factory that manufactured miniature factories. That produces MININATURE BABY gargs, which were about the size of a BullSquid, the mini-baby gargs became the workers of the mini factory and built an even smaller factory which produces... microscopic Baby gargs. But they were evil, so the USA sent in Tiny Elvis to take care of the job. Tiny Elvis wiped the gargs out with incredible effeciency. then the g-man killed the president and took over, sending Tiny Elvis on a job to assasinate gordon! so tiny elvis went to the BMRF and.... Tiny Elvis was walked up tot Gordon! Then Gordon, not noticing Elvis's firearm, began to tell Elvis how much he loved his music. Elvis was flattered and so he and Gordon banded together to defeat the evil G-Man. well, since they didnt know how to get out of the BMRF (Tiny Elvis forgot) gordon took a gluon gun, pointed it upwards and fired for about 3 hours (he used the sheep and some electrodes for ammo) untill he saw light comin out of the hole, then Tiny Elvis climbed through the hole and..... Enilsted the help of a sci to cut through the ground. Then, TE, GF, and Walter continued outside on their quest.
(meanwhile in the g-man's office)
::struts around office::
Gman: well i finally took over america! tiny elvis should be back with gordons goatee so i can sell it on the black market...
then... the gman, looking over at a console saw that Gordon's tracer chip that was implemented in his suit was still active
Gman:that cant be right...
all of a sudden GF, TE, and Walter burst into the room and...
HoHoHo off to part6