CHAPTER 6: The Plaster Causes Pain
The weekend came as no shock to Harry as he had just endured Friday, which leads onto Saturday. He was thinking about going outside and messing around on his broom, but Ron reminded him he probably shouldn't. Although he wished he had been through the pain of that than listened to Hermione shout 'HOSPITAL WING' in a very loud voice, which was frightening Luna Lovegood. She was always in mid-conversation with someone who wasn't Harry whenever she shouted it. Harry felt like shouting back, 'Yeah, you should go there to sort out your tourettes!' But didn't because he knew she was right. With a sigh, he got up and flopped down to the hospital wing.
Madam Pomfrey wasn't surprised to see him; in fact, she looked as though she'd been expecting him. Harry went into great detail of what had happened as she kept pulling a puzzled face whenever he skipped a detail. After he had endured the whole story again, Madam Pomfrey adopted an extremely business-like manner and told him lie down on the bed. As soon as he did, she pointed her wand at his crotch and his flies unzipped themselves. As she turned around he let out a scream and tried to jump up but belts came flying out from under the bed and strapped him down. She turned back around with an enormous syringe in her hand and a look of vengeance on her face. Through out the whole school a scream that belonged to a Mister Harry Potter haunted the corridors and also broke several windows in the hospital wing.
'Couldn't she have used magic?' asked Ron looking at Harry, whose genitals how had plaster around them.
'YES!' shouted Harry.
'How's he doing?' came Hermione's voice from behind the door.
Harry had not permitted anyone except Ron to come into his dormitory and see him. Especially her.
'Fuck off, Hermione! You made me do this! They could have just heeled by themselves!'
Hermione sighed and started to walk down the stairs back to the common room.
'Hermione,' Harry called after her.
'Yeah!' called Hermione, running back upstairs.
'You're a man!'
Ron burst into laughter, which caused him to feel light-headed. He fell forwards and head-butted Harry's plaster. They both screamed in pain.