……Shot G-Man in the face! Only, the bullet bounced off and hit Gordon in the chest! Then Walter took out his Pocket Tau Cannon and wasted Gemman. He then looked down at Gordon and realized that he needed to perform emergency surgery. He got his tools and made the first incision. ...in his eye.. "AAAAAAAAAGGHGH!!!!"
Gordon screamed in pain.
"Hey", said Tiny Elvis, "I'm no doctor or anything but I think you just cut open his eye."
"Oops, so I did", said Walter. "I'll just give him a robot eye instead."
He ripped out Gordon's eye and replaced it with the robot eye. And he removed the bullet in gordon's chest with the power of magic. ...and ripped it out again.. ... and it was then that Gordon had found true love. He stared above him, as Walter looked into Gordon's eye(s), and Gordon said: "Hey, move you moron, there's a beautiful lady behind you." Gordon shot up and landed gracrfully onto his feet. Gordon began to shake his assbutt (new word everyone!!) wildely as the figure came twords him. Gordon looked more closely at the figure and thn the figure began to... ... dissapear. Gordon realized that he was back in his car, that had crashed into the giant wedge of cheese. Now Gordon was sure he had a bad burrito. So he went to Taco Bell and complained about his food..... then the taco bell manager came out and pulled off his mask, the g-man! walter screamed, barney gasped, then all of a sudden...... Luther burst in with double 357s and shot the gman right through the forehead. Just then they were all ambushed by a group of Grunts. Then G-Man says "Thatsssssss why i`m here mr freeman, i`ve recommanded your services to my "NEW"...eeeemmmmployers. And they have authorised me to offer you a job to eat all those left over tacos and burritos that the customers hate so much....blahblahblah......if you are interested just step into the kitchen and i will take that as a yessss, other wise......I can offer you a GAME that you have no idea how to win....."
Just then, the door to the kitchen opens and G-Man says "TIME TO CHHHOOOOSSSSEEE".........Gordon said no and he was offered a game "YOU HAVE TO PLAY IT WITHIN 10 minutessssssss, or your PC will be infected with a virus which destroys anything in Black Mesa that is operated with microchipssss, which what all of Black Mesa is made of......" Gordon played the game. entitled "THE UNBEATABLE" which contains nothing other than a "NPC Hostile PAK" which makes all friendly becomes enemy and enemy becomes friendly, and he couldn`t even pass through the tram ride as the Barneys all around starts to shoot him and the furthest he could go is to the end of the tram ride. Just then Gordon purchased a Walkthrough for the PAK and completed it until he reached the level which he meets G-Man. G-Man said that he will give him the third choice:Entitle him to play an extra Half-Life episode wich casts him as Gordon Freeman when he was young and all the puzzles are to cope with school, household chores, parents, e.t.c......Gordon gets the game and..... shove's it into the crapper which..... ...craps... ...into... ...a toilet.. then gordon blew up the crapper before the story started the skydiving thing again then..... ....but people were sky diving.. into a toilet... which began to flush, rapidly... Phobos screamed at the thought of skydivng toilets that were... Evil Alien toilets that wanted to suck the life out of him so he took a crowbar and (i took a crowbar?) smacked the hell outta everybody who thought about sky diving toilets (eat that biatch!) but then the Anti-Skydiving-Toilet-Basher's-Association caught up to him and... started smaking the hell out of Phobos! Which caused a(n) ...black hole! Then it started shooting out... noughty stuff, called... Brocolli... ... which was eaten by Phobos, who said: "I said a hip hop a hippie the hippie to the hip hip hop ahh you dont stop a rockin to the bang bang boogie say ump jump the boogie to the rhythm of the boogie the beat!"
Unfortunately, nobody knew what this meant, and then everybody skydived into the Kool-Aid guy, who had filled himslef with one of those weird new color changing flavors. Then ragingtofu got a big straw, and .... ...shoved it into phobos' stomach then started to... inflate his stomach causing strange gasses to emanate from his various orifices... ...of doom... ...then Phobos took a ton of laxative so ragingtofu and the straw were sucked into his bowels, ragingtofu, totally groosed out proceeded to... ...forcing this story to have a plot twist... ...of doom.. which is the death of Malek because Sushi points a gun @ his head. Here is a reinactment:
Malek: HA HA HA...I have now taken over Sven Coop. My first action is to ban everyone from the servers!
Turrican: Oh no...If only someone could (ummm) save us!
(I stand up)
Sushi: Do not worry, young and helpless svencoop player, I shall save svencoop!
(I points a gun @ malek's head)
Malek: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*BANG....BANG....BANG....BANG BANG BANG*
*Thump*
But during the reinactment.... Phobos jumped in and sprayed everybody with idiot cream they idiots then... ...said a hip hop a hippie the hippie to the hip hip hop ahh you dont stop a rockin to the bang bang boogie say ump jump the boogie to the rhythm of the boogie the beat! Then... The Honking Donkey Shows Up Honking his Honk of battle and started kicking Sushi Then craps on him. With Victory he says that sushi has lied to you all. The Donkey then Says that Your So called "hero" is not a hero it is MALEK [SIZE=4]
Malek says well honking donkey u have found out my secret. Yes but something still puzzles me how did u get rid of Sushi and how did u shoot yurself? Well Donkey i ATe him He was quite good that 8 tons of wasabi made him taste good.And I shot Blackmage in a disguise. "Ohh" said the Honking one well i shall kill u acuse i feel like it!!!! Malek says no and points a gun At the Donkey Then Sushi Jumps out of nowhere and is about to get shot, then something like a warp portal thingy sucks sushi into some arena with all these people using big rocket launchers and he finds out that he and Malek are forced to fight for all of eternity. Then the portal sucks them both back to the real world, then sushi takes out a really huge dead fish and slaps Donkey with it then donkey... explodes into a bunch of smaller donkeys... who eat sushi alive... ...but then, Sushi respawned and jumps onto turricans back and beats on the back of his head with a fish. Then turrican... dies due to a genetic defect Then Bin Laden spawns out of nowhere... ...Then sushi starts whacking Osama Bin Laden with a fish forcing him to... and then luther with the double 357s bursts in and shoots him because a sci with two 357s is such a cool idea. Then sushi starts whacking Osama Bin Laden with a fish forcing him to...
Eat the fish... which gives him... A lump the shape of a fish which... Then, George W. Bush appeared! He says, "I am a smelly purple elephnat with a fat anus!". ( We find out later it was a drunken bet made by Dick Cheney. Then Warm grape slaps him silly with his giant tuba of doom and says, "Get off my planet you big doghnut in a clown suit!!!" ( Very heroic!!! ) Then bread fell and the monkey died of a broken heart. Meanwhile... ...at the white house.... Honking Donkey, Turrican, Burnout64, Blackmage, Sushi, Sankis, Sven, Mad Jonsey and xorr were fighing of ninjas that are planning to destroy the world with a giant deathray of death and they were losing the battle...........badly
(already respawned 100times in all, sven only respawned once but swinging that giant battle axe is making him fatiqued) because Blackmage was trying to force Honking Donkey to be his trusty stead and Burnout64 was all yelling at Sushi because he was purposly killing himself by abusing the self-destruct button on his arm, continuosly blowing himself and Burnout64 out of the building and taking his kills. Meanwhile, in the oval office, Sven and Turrican were killing everyone using thier double assult rifles and shotguns. While Sankis, Mad Jonsey, and Xorr were all posing for a magazine while thier fellow comrades are all yelling and blasting the sh*t out of the the ninjas! But then... Chubby the Chumtoad appeared.... .....and sushi slapped him with a fish because..... He looked like a ninja. All of a sudden... Sven and Turrican ran out of ammo! They had no way to hold off the Evil Alien Ninjas! Just then a bunch of Sweet half-life scientists burst in, with gauss guns and mp5s and luther with his double 357s! The scientists kill the ninjas, but the Deathray of Death still needs to be deactivated But the off switch was too far away! So then Sniper came in! But Turrican told him that a bullet would destroy the button and their would be no way to turn it off! So he loaded his sniper rifle with Sushis Fish and shot it at the button and... *ricochet (spelling) sound*..it was too big and broke the rifle! The only other way to turn it off was to... ..press the off button... which was out of reach. So Turrican used his colourful magic to turn the button off! and the world was saved... By Turricans colourful magic! and so they all lived happily ever after... Whereas Luther, the Double357 sci, went in other adventures, saving galaxies and thwarting evil. 7 years later, The sven coop team was called to save the white house from mean, big headed aliens with blasters. So we went in and...... It was too late, the house was torn down... ...because Blackmage was still trying to use honking donkey as his might stead, holding up the brave sven coop team. Suddenly... As the group looks around the rubble the group fell into a hole were they lost 50% of thier health and were faced to face with a battalion of aliens with blasters and ninjas with fish led by non other then.... SUSHI!!! It seemed hopeless, but then, out of the skies appeared.... ....Friendly Garg, who started to.... Eat Sushi... but then spat him out and sushi hit Xorr causing Xorr to melt because of the wasabi in his viens Then Nomble walks in and says... Ha ha... you all shall now fall to my alien forces...ha haha. but then... Luther with the double 357s bursts in and kills Nomble (again). Luther then leaves (again). and then bob-o falls from the sky and lands on his back VERY hard.. making him go "ouf!" That Ouf sound caused all of the alein assasins to... Turn their attention to Bob-o and kill him... which caused bob-o to wait the dumb 2 seconds to respawn-because-map-authors-wont-put-a-trigger-push-on-their-respawns and he telefragged one of the aliens..
"HEY EVERYONE, KILLYOURSELFS ANBD TELEFRAG THEM ALL!!!"
So then another telefraggin orgy ensued for about.... a millenia... m... (finish writing milinium! ;) Milenia is a word, genius.
any way: BACK TO THE STORY
AFter that we were all old so we lived happily ever after....thn studdenly All hell breaks loose as.. bob-o shoots sushi intull he becomes a spot on the wall and is contantly yelling rants about not caring about melina being a word and a lot of people dont know that nor study the dictionary. Suddenly... ...Bob-o starts to melt as wasabi from sushi slowly eats him away. While that was happening... George W. Bush walks in and screams, "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY HOUSE??" ...then we all get deported... ...to Mexico, where Phobos was suggesting that if Turrican likes Luther so much, then he should change his name, get married to him, or please SHUT UP!! Turrican then... Decided to get married... ...to Luther. Then some Alien Terroists came and tried to destroy everyone. Then sushi took out his fish and started to slap them to death because the fish was... Angry but after about killing 2 1/2 ninjas the fish went nuts and started to kill everyone to death until honking donkey honked so loud it killed the fish splattering wasabi all over donkey, slowly eating him away. Then Blackmage explodes because of... Constipation. Then... ...Xorr exploded because of... bad sushi in his stomach (sushi doesnt appreciate getting eaten i bet) and then Turrican and Luther got married and spent thier honeymoon in... ... Phobos' stomach, where they met ragingtofu. They then proceeded to find their way out of Phobos' stomach (you don't even WANT to know how), and they killed Nomble just for the fun of it. Then Nomble used the +reload on a medkit and respawned as a walking corpse, but then he forgot that it was fixed in 2.0 and he was stucked there. So he started spamming messages about how he was gonna fuck up Svencoop and about how the msg boards created a new nomble ect, until... Sankis came in and said... that he likes to eat food, then he stood on Nombles corpse and shot it for a few hours (he's got infanite ammo! wooo!)
then Nomble... exploded into a desk which was.... (I know most of you are going to hate me for this one) ... skydiving .... and landed on Mad Jonsey, who then... proceeded to tie up Nomble and let him go skydiving with a garg for a parachute MWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! while Nomble was falling... ...Phobos married FriendlyGarg... and they went on a double honeymoon with Turrican and Luther(that little trip in Phobos' stomach wasnt the most fun so they decided to have another one), but while they were out... something strange was happening in the world of Pokémon... Turrican, Fgarg, Phobos, and Luther were all mysteriously teleported there.... Phobos, ran into a Pikachu that scared the crap out of him, so he blew it up, then... (Hell, im bored)
Team Rocket jumped out of the bushes!
"Prepare for trouble
Make it double
To protect the world from devastation
To unite all peoples within our nation
To denounce the evils of truth and love
To extend our reach to the stars above
Jesse
James
Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light
Surrender now or prepare to fight
Meowth, that's right!" what the hell... Nobody gets my sense of humour And then All the sc members were like, oh...pokemon were scared. they all pulled out...cocks....Then sushi got there somehow and wacked all the pokemon with a spiked, steel, fish of death. After that they were all.... ...dead, and thus people stopped posting in the "games "... Which caused the webserver to... ...be hacked by a fish... what was all wet because it came out of the river. The fish didn't find any security holes and then left and became an evil cracker.. The fish then hacked into PHL and errased everything in thier SQL database and their backups, Forcing PHL to loose all of their previous news listings, POTD captions, etc etc..
Suddenly... for no apperant reason, casued the dimise of modern civilazation... and activated a long unknown glitch in sven-coop..... the SALMON BUTTER and CHUBBY glitch..... causing salmon butter to rain from the sky, and all enimes and players to turn into chubbys.. eccept for the newest player to join the server.. ShAdOw... who saw the horible events taking place and.... decided to kill chubby in svencoop1.... But... relising that all the weapons had been spawned into chubbys... had to use the only thing avalibe... SALMON BUTTER!!! *DUN DUN DUNHHHH*... when suddenly the salmon butter changed into the ever useful lung buttethat changed into a black hole which sucked in...
r (thats snot) When then proceded to change into a really really large pile of dirt... Everybody into Xen. Then something really bad happend…Xen had been transformed into a TACO BELL! shocked at the strange(er) events everybody... Ordered a Taco Supreme... ...with extreamly hot sauce and a case of altoids... everybody ate them at the same time... the hot sauce hit the altoids causing a HUGE explosion! then... A huge chunk of xen blew apart causing a chain reaction eventually leading to the invention of chedder cheese ..melt... ...covering everyone in swiss cheese. then sushi whacked blackmage, turrican, and Malek with a fish because he felt like it and to... the ocean we all went... ....then fgarg started to sink in the water because of.... his armor-that-cant-be-hurt-by-bullets-but-can-be-by-any-explosive-device being heavy THEN, a submarine exploded because fgarg farted plasma out of his ass because of.... skydiveing too much... ...then a female garg teleported and started to... also sink due to her armor-that-cant-be-hurt-by-bullets-but-can-be-by-any-explosive-device being heavy... when she sank somehow another peice of xen blew up leading up to the invention of rubber bath toys Then suddenly, Out of nowhere, The Rubber Duckie song bust in and everyone started to dance disco.
Rubber duckie, Your the one. Rubber duckie, You make bathtime lots of fun. Rubber duckie I'm awfully fond of you... the song eventualy stoped and eveyone stoped danceing but when they stoped dancing a huge chunk of xen blew up leading to the creation of earth which caus And now for somthing completely different. Nomble came back?? Suddenly, Out of the deep blue sky, Gordon says hello. And Nomble is still staning and looking at Gordon, becurse Gordon is dead! So get over it, then Nomble shooted Gordon 40tiems in da face, and it came blood and gore, so nows Gordon deead! Happy? Are you!? then gordon got up and ate Nomble. Then everyone threw a party! But the celebration was interrupted when... Nomble came back. As an ugly monkey. And Nomble the fat ugly monkey then sat on the party and killed everybody, soo all the souls from the party members was stuck in Nomble butt. hole.. Meanwhile, in Japan... Where the the evil cat Nomble was fighting godzilla and of course godzilla won, all the Japs had Cat that night, but there was something wrong with it...pretty soon the whole colony were zombified, until all the souls of the svencoopers returned to... the moon.. which caused.... ...the moon.. to fold... into the space-time continuum where they go to an alternate universe were nomble actually makes sense and bob-o owned the most crappy server in sven coop..... which would be really freaky...
Suddenly, Somthing from the ground... came out..... a giant robot with flashing eyes that gave everyone seizuers and since only honking donkey was color blind he was able to kill it with his m4a1(or mp5 if u dont have hdpack) and save the svencoopers from being seizurized exept for nomble who was seizuring in front of the doorway......... just before the doorway exploded, causing... Nomble to come back... as THE BLOB! but turrican is blind, so Nomble came back as a, oh yes a devilcat. which was in blobby form But NOOO, It wasnet a blobby form, it was a cat form! Ok then...
It was a fat cat that was so fat that it was described as a blob. No no no, i think you got the wrong glasses. It was a Nomal DEVILcat! oh come on i was trying to make a happy medium.
You said cat, i said blob, Cat so fat its a blob! Then the other guy askes, WTF is a blob??
Then Friendly Garg came to visit the games section in orbit, he said the following:
please stop this!!
Nomble and turrican decided to stop this conversation, and this caused.. Nomble to come back.... and then, Nate, fed the cat too much grease and lays potato chips and the devil cat grew, fat and, slow, and started turning blueish, and grew armor, until it looked like a gargantua.. Then Nomble the big fat blue cat, destroyed..... ...Himself because he was unhappy. But before he died, he... left a message saying... "poopy pants".... which was a clue to the mystery, Chubby Dubby doo and sluggy went to go investigate the poopy pants motel, and there they found! ...poopy pants... that for some odd reason smalled like crap ...on a stick.. on the suit of the G-Man... that was used with a poopenstick to invent cream cheese Bam boom bam boom bam bom! The cream chease people did not like their creator so they created a gigantic mecca thingy box to trap their creator, PoopieStick in the box. Then, everyone forgot that there was their creator, PoopieStick still in the box and they thought the box was hollow, So, they started using the box as a landfill, covering up PoopieStick with much garbage and smelly-slippery-things... BUT.... Q3 poped up, teh game where you just, shot and shot and shot and shot and shot and shot and finally shot some people. and then, the creme cheese people killed nomble, this time for good, sadly memories still existed, like the time... ..he was banned.. this time he is truly dead in the story thread so we can have a good WITHOUT Nomble. ..and everyone shouted "Amen." .... Nombles back! is what Nomble screamed, then he died, and no one cared and we went on with the story about... Can we PLEASE just start a story now instead of Nomble dying and being reborn over and over again? Ok lets put it this way - Nomble was a Hero in another Universe and had to return. There! Now can we have a story? After turrican talked, sushi came up behind him and whacked him in the back of the head with a fish knocking him unconisous. But then... Turrican actually decided he wasnt going to be in the story and any body called Turrican in the story wasnt him uless he said so. Then ragingtofu got in the Metal Slug.... Sushi missed me by hitting my magical barrier: and he got pwned... then, guess what? Nomble came back... ... but nobody really cared. ...so everyone ignored him... so as the svencoopers try to escape the alternate dimension leaveing turrican because he didnt want to be part of this story any more. They also left tha resurecting nomble because no one cared about his stupidity....... Turrican decided if he was going to be out of the story he was going to take Nomble with him so in a heroic style he grabbed Nomble and jumped into a black hole! Guess what? Nomble came back, Just kidding.
When Nomble flied into the blackHole A strange cloud came over the lands of chubbys. the cloud poisoned all the Chubbys and made them evil, so when the Human visitors came they killed them and stole their spaceships and went to Earth where they... were eaten by the sleeping gigantic cat Nomble. ...But the sad pathetic cries for attention by nomble we're no answered and... the chubbies landed and murdered all the fat ladies. Only one man/woman/thing could save the world and he/she/it was... A mouse named ed... ...that did stuff and... killed Secret Agent..... All of a Sudden Chubby appeared! running away from a bunch of headcrabs Then suddenly BMTwigzta started to incult Nomble over INQ.... ...but no one cared... so the headcrabs and chumtoads went into a hundred year war............. until Secret-Agent made the day BABY w000t!!!!!!
And the epic story ended. This is leanord nemoy. Goodbye, and keep watching the skiis. Err....skies. The world has been saved or something! Gordon accomplished absolutley nothing in his journey to unclog the toilet. This, yet again is Leanard nemoy. Good night and keep watching the Skies.
The End.!!! Until next part.
Gordon screamed in pain.
"Hey", said Tiny Elvis, "I'm no doctor or anything but I think you just cut open his eye."
"Oops, so I did", said Walter. "I'll just give him a robot eye instead."
He ripped out Gordon's eye and replaced it with the robot eye. And he removed the bullet in gordon's chest with the power of magic. ...and ripped it out again.. ... and it was then that Gordon had found true love. He stared above him, as Walter looked into Gordon's eye(s), and Gordon said: "Hey, move you moron, there's a beautiful lady behind you." Gordon shot up and landed gracrfully onto his feet. Gordon began to shake his assbutt (new word everyone!!) wildely as the figure came twords him. Gordon looked more closely at the figure and thn the figure began to... ... dissapear. Gordon realized that he was back in his car, that had crashed into the giant wedge of cheese. Now Gordon was sure he had a bad burrito. So he went to Taco Bell and complained about his food..... then the taco bell manager came out and pulled off his mask, the g-man! walter screamed, barney gasped, then all of a sudden...... Luther burst in with double 357s and shot the gman right through the forehead. Just then they were all ambushed by a group of Grunts. Then G-Man says "Thatsssssss why i`m here mr freeman, i`ve recommanded your services to my "NEW"...eeeemmmmployers. And they have authorised me to offer you a job to eat all those left over tacos and burritos that the customers hate so much....blahblahblah......if you are interested just step into the kitchen and i will take that as a yessss, other wise......I can offer you a GAME that you have no idea how to win....."
Just then, the door to the kitchen opens and G-Man says "TIME TO CHHHOOOOSSSSEEE".........Gordon said no and he was offered a game "YOU HAVE TO PLAY IT WITHIN 10 minutessssssss, or your PC will be infected with a virus which destroys anything in Black Mesa that is operated with microchipssss, which what all of Black Mesa is made of......" Gordon played the game. entitled "THE UNBEATABLE" which contains nothing other than a "NPC Hostile PAK" which makes all friendly becomes enemy and enemy becomes friendly, and he couldn`t even pass through the tram ride as the Barneys all around starts to shoot him and the furthest he could go is to the end of the tram ride. Just then Gordon purchased a Walkthrough for the PAK and completed it until he reached the level which he meets G-Man. G-Man said that he will give him the third choice:Entitle him to play an extra Half-Life episode wich casts him as Gordon Freeman when he was young and all the puzzles are to cope with school, household chores, parents, e.t.c......Gordon gets the game and..... shove's it into the crapper which..... ...craps... ...into... ...a toilet.. then gordon blew up the crapper before the story started the skydiving thing again then..... ....but people were sky diving.. into a toilet... which began to flush, rapidly... Phobos screamed at the thought of skydivng toilets that were... Evil Alien toilets that wanted to suck the life out of him so he took a crowbar and (i took a crowbar?) smacked the hell outta everybody who thought about sky diving toilets (eat that biatch!) but then the Anti-Skydiving-Toilet-Basher's-Association caught up to him and... started smaking the hell out of Phobos! Which caused a(n) ...black hole! Then it started shooting out... noughty stuff, called... Brocolli... ... which was eaten by Phobos, who said: "I said a hip hop a hippie the hippie to the hip hip hop ahh you dont stop a rockin to the bang bang boogie say ump jump the boogie to the rhythm of the boogie the beat!"
Unfortunately, nobody knew what this meant, and then everybody skydived into the Kool-Aid guy, who had filled himslef with one of those weird new color changing flavors. Then ragingtofu got a big straw, and .... ...shoved it into phobos' stomach then started to... inflate his stomach causing strange gasses to emanate from his various orifices... ...of doom... ...then Phobos took a ton of laxative so ragingtofu and the straw were sucked into his bowels, ragingtofu, totally groosed out proceeded to... ...forcing this story to have a plot twist... ...of doom.. which is the death of Malek because Sushi points a gun @ his head. Here is a reinactment:
Malek: HA HA HA...I have now taken over Sven Coop. My first action is to ban everyone from the servers!
Turrican: Oh no...If only someone could (ummm) save us!
(I stand up)
Sushi: Do not worry, young and helpless svencoop player, I shall save svencoop!
(I points a gun @ malek's head)
Malek: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*BANG....BANG....BANG....BANG BANG BANG*
*Thump*
But during the reinactment.... Phobos jumped in and sprayed everybody with idiot cream they idiots then... ...said a hip hop a hippie the hippie to the hip hip hop ahh you dont stop a rockin to the bang bang boogie say ump jump the boogie to the rhythm of the boogie the beat! Then... The Honking Donkey Shows Up Honking his Honk of battle and started kicking Sushi Then craps on him. With Victory he says that sushi has lied to you all. The Donkey then Says that Your So called "hero" is not a hero it is MALEK [SIZE=4]
Malek says well honking donkey u have found out my secret. Yes but something still puzzles me how did u get rid of Sushi and how did u shoot yurself? Well Donkey i ATe him He was quite good that 8 tons of wasabi made him taste good.And I shot Blackmage in a disguise. "Ohh" said the Honking one well i shall kill u acuse i feel like it!!!! Malek says no and points a gun At the Donkey Then Sushi Jumps out of nowhere and is about to get shot, then something like a warp portal thingy sucks sushi into some arena with all these people using big rocket launchers and he finds out that he and Malek are forced to fight for all of eternity. Then the portal sucks them both back to the real world, then sushi takes out a really huge dead fish and slaps Donkey with it then donkey... explodes into a bunch of smaller donkeys... who eat sushi alive... ...but then, Sushi respawned and jumps onto turricans back and beats on the back of his head with a fish. Then turrican... dies due to a genetic defect Then Bin Laden spawns out of nowhere... ...Then sushi starts whacking Osama Bin Laden with a fish forcing him to... and then luther with the double 357s bursts in and shoots him because a sci with two 357s is such a cool idea. Then sushi starts whacking Osama Bin Laden with a fish forcing him to...
Eat the fish... which gives him... A lump the shape of a fish which... Then, George W. Bush appeared! He says, "I am a smelly purple elephnat with a fat anus!". ( We find out later it was a drunken bet made by Dick Cheney. Then Warm grape slaps him silly with his giant tuba of doom and says, "Get off my planet you big doghnut in a clown suit!!!" ( Very heroic!!! ) Then bread fell and the monkey died of a broken heart. Meanwhile... ...at the white house.... Honking Donkey, Turrican, Burnout64, Blackmage, Sushi, Sankis, Sven, Mad Jonsey and xorr were fighing of ninjas that are planning to destroy the world with a giant deathray of death and they were losing the battle...........badly
(already respawned 100times in all, sven only respawned once but swinging that giant battle axe is making him fatiqued) because Blackmage was trying to force Honking Donkey to be his trusty stead and Burnout64 was all yelling at Sushi because he was purposly killing himself by abusing the self-destruct button on his arm, continuosly blowing himself and Burnout64 out of the building and taking his kills. Meanwhile, in the oval office, Sven and Turrican were killing everyone using thier double assult rifles and shotguns. While Sankis, Mad Jonsey, and Xorr were all posing for a magazine while thier fellow comrades are all yelling and blasting the sh*t out of the the ninjas! But then... Chubby the Chumtoad appeared.... .....and sushi slapped him with a fish because..... He looked like a ninja. All of a sudden... Sven and Turrican ran out of ammo! They had no way to hold off the Evil Alien Ninjas! Just then a bunch of Sweet half-life scientists burst in, with gauss guns and mp5s and luther with his double 357s! The scientists kill the ninjas, but the Deathray of Death still needs to be deactivated But the off switch was too far away! So then Sniper came in! But Turrican told him that a bullet would destroy the button and their would be no way to turn it off! So he loaded his sniper rifle with Sushis Fish and shot it at the button and... *ricochet (spelling) sound*..it was too big and broke the rifle! The only other way to turn it off was to... ..press the off button... which was out of reach. So Turrican used his colourful magic to turn the button off! and the world was saved... By Turricans colourful magic! and so they all lived happily ever after... Whereas Luther, the Double357 sci, went in other adventures, saving galaxies and thwarting evil. 7 years later, The sven coop team was called to save the white house from mean, big headed aliens with blasters. So we went in and...... It was too late, the house was torn down... ...because Blackmage was still trying to use honking donkey as his might stead, holding up the brave sven coop team. Suddenly... As the group looks around the rubble the group fell into a hole were they lost 50% of thier health and were faced to face with a battalion of aliens with blasters and ninjas with fish led by non other then.... SUSHI!!! It seemed hopeless, but then, out of the skies appeared.... ....Friendly Garg, who started to.... Eat Sushi... but then spat him out and sushi hit Xorr causing Xorr to melt because of the wasabi in his viens Then Nomble walks in and says... Ha ha... you all shall now fall to my alien forces...ha haha. but then... Luther with the double 357s bursts in and kills Nomble (again). Luther then leaves (again). and then bob-o falls from the sky and lands on his back VERY hard.. making him go "ouf!" That Ouf sound caused all of the alein assasins to... Turn their attention to Bob-o and kill him... which caused bob-o to wait the dumb 2 seconds to respawn-because-map-authors-wont-put-a-trigger-push-on-their-respawns and he telefragged one of the aliens..
"HEY EVERYONE, KILLYOURSELFS ANBD TELEFRAG THEM ALL!!!"
So then another telefraggin orgy ensued for about.... a millenia... m... (finish writing milinium! ;) Milenia is a word, genius.
any way: BACK TO THE STORY
AFter that we were all old so we lived happily ever after....thn studdenly All hell breaks loose as.. bob-o shoots sushi intull he becomes a spot on the wall and is contantly yelling rants about not caring about melina being a word and a lot of people dont know that nor study the dictionary. Suddenly... ...Bob-o starts to melt as wasabi from sushi slowly eats him away. While that was happening... George W. Bush walks in and screams, "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY HOUSE??" ...then we all get deported... ...to Mexico, where Phobos was suggesting that if Turrican likes Luther so much, then he should change his name, get married to him, or please SHUT UP!! Turrican then... Decided to get married... ...to Luther. Then some Alien Terroists came and tried to destroy everyone. Then sushi took out his fish and started to slap them to death because the fish was... Angry but after about killing 2 1/2 ninjas the fish went nuts and started to kill everyone to death until honking donkey honked so loud it killed the fish splattering wasabi all over donkey, slowly eating him away. Then Blackmage explodes because of... Constipation. Then... ...Xorr exploded because of... bad sushi in his stomach (sushi doesnt appreciate getting eaten i bet) and then Turrican and Luther got married and spent thier honeymoon in... ... Phobos' stomach, where they met ragingtofu. They then proceeded to find their way out of Phobos' stomach (you don't even WANT to know how), and they killed Nomble just for the fun of it. Then Nomble used the +reload on a medkit and respawned as a walking corpse, but then he forgot that it was fixed in 2.0 and he was stucked there. So he started spamming messages about how he was gonna fuck up Svencoop and about how the msg boards created a new nomble ect, until... Sankis came in and said... that he likes to eat food, then he stood on Nombles corpse and shot it for a few hours (he's got infanite ammo! wooo!)
then Nomble... exploded into a desk which was.... (I know most of you are going to hate me for this one) ... skydiving .... and landed on Mad Jonsey, who then... proceeded to tie up Nomble and let him go skydiving with a garg for a parachute MWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! while Nomble was falling... ...Phobos married FriendlyGarg... and they went on a double honeymoon with Turrican and Luther(that little trip in Phobos' stomach wasnt the most fun so they decided to have another one), but while they were out... something strange was happening in the world of Pokémon... Turrican, Fgarg, Phobos, and Luther were all mysteriously teleported there.... Phobos, ran into a Pikachu that scared the crap out of him, so he blew it up, then... (Hell, im bored)
Team Rocket jumped out of the bushes!
"Prepare for trouble
Make it double
To protect the world from devastation
To unite all peoples within our nation
To denounce the evils of truth and love
To extend our reach to the stars above
Jesse
James
Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light
Surrender now or prepare to fight
Meowth, that's right!" what the hell... Nobody gets my sense of humour And then All the sc members were like, oh...pokemon were scared. they all pulled out...cocks....Then sushi got there somehow and wacked all the pokemon with a spiked, steel, fish of death. After that they were all.... ...dead, and thus people stopped posting in the "games "... Which caused the webserver to... ...be hacked by a fish... what was all wet because it came out of the river. The fish didn't find any security holes and then left and became an evil cracker.. The fish then hacked into PHL and errased everything in thier SQL database and their backups, Forcing PHL to loose all of their previous news listings, POTD captions, etc etc..
Suddenly... for no apperant reason, casued the dimise of modern civilazation... and activated a long unknown glitch in sven-coop..... the SALMON BUTTER and CHUBBY glitch..... causing salmon butter to rain from the sky, and all enimes and players to turn into chubbys.. eccept for the newest player to join the server.. ShAdOw... who saw the horible events taking place and.... decided to kill chubby in svencoop1.... But... relising that all the weapons had been spawned into chubbys... had to use the only thing avalibe... SALMON BUTTER!!! *DUN DUN DUNHHHH*... when suddenly the salmon butter changed into the ever useful lung buttethat changed into a black hole which sucked in...
r (thats snot) When then proceded to change into a really really large pile of dirt... Everybody into Xen. Then something really bad happend…Xen had been transformed into a TACO BELL! shocked at the strange(er) events everybody... Ordered a Taco Supreme... ...with extreamly hot sauce and a case of altoids... everybody ate them at the same time... the hot sauce hit the altoids causing a HUGE explosion! then... A huge chunk of xen blew apart causing a chain reaction eventually leading to the invention of chedder cheese ..melt... ...covering everyone in swiss cheese. then sushi whacked blackmage, turrican, and Malek with a fish because he felt like it and to... the ocean we all went... ....then fgarg started to sink in the water because of.... his armor-that-cant-be-hurt-by-bullets-but-can-be-by-any-explosive-device being heavy THEN, a submarine exploded because fgarg farted plasma out of his ass because of.... skydiveing too much... ...then a female garg teleported and started to... also sink due to her armor-that-cant-be-hurt-by-bullets-but-can-be-by-any-explosive-device being heavy... when she sank somehow another peice of xen blew up leading up to the invention of rubber bath toys Then suddenly, Out of nowhere, The Rubber Duckie song bust in and everyone started to dance disco.
Rubber duckie, Your the one. Rubber duckie, You make bathtime lots of fun. Rubber duckie I'm awfully fond of you... the song eventualy stoped and eveyone stoped danceing but when they stoped dancing a huge chunk of xen blew up leading to the creation of earth which caus And now for somthing completely different. Nomble came back?? Suddenly, Out of the deep blue sky, Gordon says hello. And Nomble is still staning and looking at Gordon, becurse Gordon is dead! So get over it, then Nomble shooted Gordon 40tiems in da face, and it came blood and gore, so nows Gordon deead! Happy? Are you!? then gordon got up and ate Nomble. Then everyone threw a party! But the celebration was interrupted when... Nomble came back. As an ugly monkey. And Nomble the fat ugly monkey then sat on the party and killed everybody, soo all the souls from the party members was stuck in Nomble butt. hole.. Meanwhile, in Japan... Where the the evil cat Nomble was fighting godzilla and of course godzilla won, all the Japs had Cat that night, but there was something wrong with it...pretty soon the whole colony were zombified, until all the souls of the svencoopers returned to... the moon.. which caused.... ...the moon.. to fold... into the space-time continuum where they go to an alternate universe were nomble actually makes sense and bob-o owned the most crappy server in sven coop..... which would be really freaky...
Suddenly, Somthing from the ground... came out..... a giant robot with flashing eyes that gave everyone seizuers and since only honking donkey was color blind he was able to kill it with his m4a1(or mp5 if u dont have hdpack) and save the svencoopers from being seizurized exept for nomble who was seizuring in front of the doorway......... just before the doorway exploded, causing... Nomble to come back... as THE BLOB! but turrican is blind, so Nomble came back as a, oh yes a devilcat. which was in blobby form But NOOO, It wasnet a blobby form, it was a cat form! Ok then...
It was a fat cat that was so fat that it was described as a blob. No no no, i think you got the wrong glasses. It was a Nomal DEVILcat! oh come on i was trying to make a happy medium.
You said cat, i said blob, Cat so fat its a blob! Then the other guy askes, WTF is a blob??
Then Friendly Garg came to visit the games section in orbit, he said the following:
please stop this!!
Nomble and turrican decided to stop this conversation, and this caused.. Nomble to come back.... and then, Nate, fed the cat too much grease and lays potato chips and the devil cat grew, fat and, slow, and started turning blueish, and grew armor, until it looked like a gargantua.. Then Nomble the big fat blue cat, destroyed..... ...Himself because he was unhappy. But before he died, he... left a message saying... "poopy pants".... which was a clue to the mystery, Chubby Dubby doo and sluggy went to go investigate the poopy pants motel, and there they found! ...poopy pants... that for some odd reason smalled like crap ...on a stick.. on the suit of the G-Man... that was used with a poopenstick to invent cream cheese Bam boom bam boom bam bom! The cream chease people did not like their creator so they created a gigantic mecca thingy box to trap their creator, PoopieStick in the box. Then, everyone forgot that there was their creator, PoopieStick still in the box and they thought the box was hollow, So, they started using the box as a landfill, covering up PoopieStick with much garbage and smelly-slippery-things... BUT.... Q3 poped up, teh game where you just, shot and shot and shot and shot and shot and shot and finally shot some people. and then, the creme cheese people killed nomble, this time for good, sadly memories still existed, like the time... ..he was banned.. this time he is truly dead in the story thread so we can have a good WITHOUT Nomble. ..and everyone shouted "Amen." .... Nombles back! is what Nomble screamed, then he died, and no one cared and we went on with the story about... Can we PLEASE just start a story now instead of Nomble dying and being reborn over and over again? Ok lets put it this way - Nomble was a Hero in another Universe and had to return. There! Now can we have a story? After turrican talked, sushi came up behind him and whacked him in the back of the head with a fish knocking him unconisous. But then... Turrican actually decided he wasnt going to be in the story and any body called Turrican in the story wasnt him uless he said so. Then ragingtofu got in the Metal Slug.... Sushi missed me by hitting my magical barrier: and he got pwned... then, guess what? Nomble came back... ... but nobody really cared. ...so everyone ignored him... so as the svencoopers try to escape the alternate dimension leaveing turrican because he didnt want to be part of this story any more. They also left tha resurecting nomble because no one cared about his stupidity....... Turrican decided if he was going to be out of the story he was going to take Nomble with him so in a heroic style he grabbed Nomble and jumped into a black hole! Guess what? Nomble came back, Just kidding.
When Nomble flied into the blackHole A strange cloud came over the lands of chubbys. the cloud poisoned all the Chubbys and made them evil, so when the Human visitors came they killed them and stole their spaceships and went to Earth where they... were eaten by the sleeping gigantic cat Nomble. ...But the sad pathetic cries for attention by nomble we're no answered and... the chubbies landed and murdered all the fat ladies. Only one man/woman/thing could save the world and he/she/it was... A mouse named ed... ...that did stuff and... killed Secret Agent..... All of a Sudden Chubby appeared! running away from a bunch of headcrabs Then suddenly BMTwigzta started to incult Nomble over INQ.... ...but no one cared... so the headcrabs and chumtoads went into a hundred year war............. until Secret-Agent made the day BABY w000t!!!!!!
And the epic story ended. This is leanord nemoy. Goodbye, and keep watching the skiis. Err....skies. The world has been saved or something! Gordon accomplished absolutley nothing in his journey to unclog the toilet. This, yet again is Leanard nemoy. Good night and keep watching the Skies.
The End.!!! Until next part.