Nombliz

by Nomble

A story based in the half-life world. Creatures and other fight side by side.

7. Part 7

Tell a story 7!

One day... a big fat.. Dog was walking... in a cast with a leg broken in 3 places ...because his leg was broken in a... meat grinder... ... and then the dog suddenly caught on fire. ...and became a hot dog.. on fire... and Otis appeared out of nowhere and... ate it up... ... and then his picture was posted on www.somethingawful.com... Otis ate the Hot Dog and got HeartBurn. He spent the rest of the day groaning in pain and didn`t even notice when an Alien Slave teleported in front of him. The Slave thought he was a Hologram as he doesn`t respond to him and left. After 1 hour, Otis started to scream and shout "ALIENS! ALIENS! HELP!" and soon collapsed due to Hi-blood pressure. ...then a barney in a PCV vest came and... ...guarded a door.. and he... guarded a door... which supposedly led to the G-Man`s bedroom where he kept all the Female workers at when they are off-duty. Just then, Coporal Shephard stumbled by and demanded entry, which was rejected. So Shephard took out the Barnacle grapple and started to... ...masturbate, then he... Barnacle the gman's face.. Which caused gordon's face to melt. Suddenly... a lost temple which was found by... AHH! HOMER! Who then proceded to... ... make a peanut butter sandwich, because mom's like you choose Jiff™ .... but then ragingtofu gets slapped across the face with a fish by sushi, who notices that ragingtofu isnt a mom so he... started a huge skydiving battle with... ...martians.. ...that... have allied themselves with Osama Bin Laden & Al-Qaeda.. but they died so the martians went home and nothing happend for 73 years... ...until Haley's comet came back... and then it left to crash onto the earth.... and everyone ignored the comet because they were trying to figure out which world were in... so the comet was just there but wasnt just there it was there MENECINGLY what secrets could this menecing comet have gold? tresure? Beer and hokey sticks? or something else? Inside the Meteor was HALF LIFE 2!

Sushi picked up the disk but hit it with his fish until it was broken, so the angry gamers approached him and... ...got all ballet on his ass.. While Turrican constructed a time machine to go back in time and retrieve the HL disk. But something went wrong and the device opened a hole into another dimension. Some alien grunts came out of the hole but just then the really cool HEV Scis from SHL burst in with gauss guns and killed all the aliens.

The HL2 disk also came through the hole. They put it into the CD drive and then... ..but they respawned into.. air, but Turrican didnt and he checked out the HL2 disk from the future. He put it in the disk drive but just then the house was stormed by swat troopers who came for the disk. Turrican was outgunned so he hid in a closet. He saw them take the disk and then they left. He was about to go and get revenge but he decided that watching TV would be the best idea. while turrican was watching tv honking donkey got the disk back and started to play hl2..... unfourtunaly the game is not done no animations, a big box as a level and some scientist that u cant interact with. The disk was crappy so he threw it away. After he threw da disk away he was bored and decided to go on an adventure that will not do to accomplish his goal ... making sentences that people can understand so that... ...they could understand.. unfourtunalty no on could understand so the everyone decided to block the bathroom so Nomble shit hiself because he could no longer hold his bowels. Surprisingly enough Nombles shit wasn't just shit, it was skydiving shit! The skydiving shit then... ...skydove.. into a pit of shit Then Malek saw how mature this story was going and requested that the topic change before he kicked everyone's teeth in, so in response they... yell **** Off! ....and they also said "w00t" because.. ....some of nombles skydiving shit came and sushi took a fish and slapped... Malek so he shut up... but suddenly a huge lump started to grow from the side of malek's head and kept growing into the shape of an all purpouse, generic donkey... that could talk! and it said... "Hi, I like corn."... ...then sushi slapped it because... it liked skydiving corn ...then the kingdom of sushi was invaded by skydiving marines because in sven coop 2.0 there was a pic of skydiving then a skydiving marine came and started to skydive because the osprey pilot started to talk about skydiving because the kingdom of sush was being invaded then that marine couldnt take it any more so he started to skydive out of the osprey to the kingdom of sushi but then the osprey pilot started to skydive because the osprey pilot was talking about skydiving in sven coop 2.0 and then tha marine that was in the osprey started to skydive into the kingdom of sushi which he was invading with the skydiving osprey pilot and then the marine said shut up because the skydiving osprey pilot was talking about skydiving in sven coop 2.0 and then the marine jumped out of the osprey and started to skydive into the kingdom they were invading which was the kingdom and then he was followed by the osprey pilot who was still talking about skydiving when he saw the pic of skydiving in garg hunt 3 then the marine he was talking to in the osprey jumped out to his objective which was to invade the kingdom of sushi but then, behind him was the osprey pilot who was talking about skydiving and he said shut up then they both hit the ground and died because the pilot was... the pilot was DIABLO THE LORD OF TERROR But seeing as how Diablo is the Lord of Terror, not the Lord of Destruction, as Baal is, every pointed and laughed at donley's mistake. ...but then sushi came up and slapped agent with a fish with "dunce" scribbled on it because agent spelled donkey wrong so everyone pointed and laughed at him for his mistake. Then... ...and everyone pointed and laughed at sushi for forgetting to add commas in many areas such as after the word 'wrong'.. ...then honking donkeys english teacher comes and... ...bans nomble, drunk monkey, donkey, and other people who make no sense some times... ...then donkeys teacher bans everyone in the story because he was skydiving and then sushi started reapeating himself in long pointless paragraphs that have no punchuation at all then sushi and all the members in the story get banned because sushi is typing up paragraphs of him reapeating himself and he will shut up now because... then everyone stoped and stared because Story and a Story had merged. Everyone was happy for a few seconds, then bored, they continued the mayhem... ...then gordon came and tried to do what he was trying to do in the first story to unclog a toilet that was skydiving and... teh skydiving toliet got together with the other skydiving toliets that surprisingly hadn't hit the ground yet. So as gordon was uncloging his toilet he decided to crawl around vents, avoid headcrabs and kill stuff at the same time underground ... nothing happend ...except.. Mad Jonesy happends. Which is all that.. ... shouldn't happen... ever. ...but.. B.G.Y.-11 GOES AND ANNIHILATES ALL WHO HATE THE SHOW AND ALL WHO HATE THE THEME SONG... but honking donkey was not annihilated because he likes Big Guy and Rusty the boy robot. So with his powers of no sense he ran away like a coward.. but Undeadenemy was spared cause he has never watched the show. Angry that all his friends had been wiped out he threw BGY-11 into the dark pit of fire from which noone could return without Undeadenemys explicit permission. Undead also knew it was the real BGY-11 due to the fact t-hat he had an orgasmo ray that told him so... ...then Sushi came and slapped Undeadenemy with a fish because... AmericanBadAss forced him to with his strange and unusual powers... pissed, Undeadenemy ate Sushi. Then some clowns came and... ...then undead enemy spat out a fish and killed everyone... except for some cows in the corner of the room that were busy... ...being... cows... ...that were cow-a-licious.. then they all died and went to cow heaven where they... ...became Cow Angels.. where this guy named charlie made them go do a mission which was to blow up the anthrax... in a bag that…is filled with liquid... soup but, little pink candyes were trying to stop them by... ....candying them... with cotton candy... ...then... the cotton candy... charged....(at this point there was no music and let the load clap of feet steping on the ground) and the angels pulled out thier mighty swords (at this point let there be no sound and let the suspense set in) and the swords started singing "It's rainin men...".... ...Sushi took out a fish and... beat that sutpid bi*** to a puddle of goo for singing that stupid-a** song that gets into every male person's head and drives them nuts untill they explode. So the song was permanently banned from this story untill further notice.

But then, Stange Smelling Long Hair Man appeared... HOLY CRAP ITS RAINING MEN!!!!! ...then the fish sushi had started to... Suddenly bob got depressed and decided to simply not finish converting this form to a readable play-type document up to the 1000'th post.

honking donkey was also banned from my server.

But then Stange Smelling Long Hair Man appeared once again and... And bob realized that he meant to bitch above sushi..

Thus fucking up the story.

Continuing..

Stange Smelling Long Hair Man appeared once again and... ...danced the night away.... until noone else was around because they all looked like Fabio (SP?) the Fabio's ran around and... advertised his product PROFUSELY until the dinner rolls which infected the whole team, then the Hairy man turned into a Llama and bounded away for ....financial freedom... until... ...something..... ...ate... ...food... that was... food But then the world blew up because the story was getting really, really crappy (no pun intended).

Then everyone who was still interested in this niché part of the story were transported to the land of Sentient Bread. The bread(s), which were toasted earlier on, were now plentiful again, and had started a trade with Peanut Butter Town and Jellyville. In short, they were all happy. until they all died....because they were skydiving trying to unclog a toilet... which was pretty pointless, but most of the people thought their was a million dollars in the toilet, the others were just sick... while on earth, and out of Soochis dreams...

The world was over come by the gmans minions, millions of innocent people were killed, the rest were enslaved, then the few brave ones, started a revolt against the Gman... ...then everyone points and laugh's at nate for spelling "sushi" wrong... and then Nate points out, He actually meant to do that and scoffs at the losers, then "I" appeared. But no one knew this guy named "I". So they killed him. ...then people started to skydive... until the gravity and any form of parachutes was illimenated from the story, and the stupid --- skydivers floated off into space,... where they orbited the earth forever... getting hit by asteroids from time to time and having a case of the common implodingnessness...

the gman laughed at his devious skydiver killing plan and then the team of revolters busted through his apartment door

"oh no, foiled again"said the gman, as he rocketed to a secret base unknown by only the people inside the secret base...it's so secret...uh...it's not known... the base was called Spong bob square pants school of skydiving... to outer space so you can orbit the earth while skydiving" Many people were tired of reading the signboard that they simply fell asleep on th doorstep, which led to G-Man`s.. death. And so ends another saga in Dragon bal.............errr i mean STORY.

For 7 years the world was gman free, so because the human race was bored they decided to go to deep space for no good reason on a ship called the von bruon and then have 4 people turn into cyborgs where they will wake up and kill hybrids and rumblers n' stuff. sadly the SS Marathon starship crashed into the Von Braun and... the adventure ended thus ending another pointless 5-second story in the story but then another one poped up about... ...two seconds later about (W) Warm grape falling into a great big hole when somone vigourously poured... warm grape juice on (W) Warm Grape which made him insane and he let out a blood-curdling scream and started to eat other grapes until... THEN SUDDENLY THE BIG GUY BLASTED OUT THE FIRE PIT (because the B.G.Y.-11 can take the heat, see episode Wages of Fire) and attacked Osama's training camps (I know it's not the Big Guy's job, but Dwayne is feeling disgruntled)

And then... ...some stuff.. Scared the crap outta (W) Warm Grape and he finally snaped out of his insanity. Realising the damage he had done, he snapped once more and then the whole process goes over and over again until.. ... ragingtofu appeared. He used the Admin mod to change the gravity to 0, make himself invincible, and give himself all the weapons. Then he got bored and left, causing the server to crash. Then the world blew up for the nth time. +1... and an orange soda with no ice... suddenly became and orange soda WITH ICE and an oversized fruit baskat with and afro and a long pieice of orange rope managed to make a break for the window but suddenly relized... ...that everything was really messed up... ...and that rope can't move without the appropriate cowboy attachment. Lacking any such plugin the rope decided to... ...sing yankee doodle...... (picking up from macros) decided to sing yankee doodle, the clean mix which then decided to eat the damn macros.. which caused warm grape to join my server and claim that he\she is female and causes a paradox. Then the hubble telescope began to... crack and explode and implode and... Was destroyed by the unexplained plasma explosion phonomenon at the edge of the universe which the very nature of it defied the fundamental law of E=MC2. So the scientists were trying to find out how an explosion so massive could origionate from the edge of the universe yet the light would be visible from Earth. The leading Astronomonisty guy discovered that it was possible because... All they had to do is to open and interdimensional portal and venture their way to Xen and then place satchels on Nihilanth`s head and seal it with tripmines and "walking dead" Blockerz until... until a flaming Nomble would appear and set Nihilanth on fire. Which caused a VERY foul smell to emminate from that huge scar on it's belly.... suddenly Undeadenemy returned and told BGY-11 he had already taken care of Osama, and that he was confused that he had not seen Osama roasting in the fire pit where BGY had been placed... ... and there was much rejoicing. and more rejoicing when BGY-11 exploaded for no aparent reason and the show stopped airing... Few milleniums later, the people forgot about the incident and continued to air the show. The show was getting very high ratings until.. the show went off the air... as a result of a large pink un house trained hamster which was nesting in git r-mans beard at the time.. ... but nobody knew what in bloody 'ell DrunkMonkey just said. So ragingtofu blew him up with the Holy Handgrenade of Antioch. And there was much rejoicing. Suddenly, a huge chin came down from space! It... suddenly exploded in to a fireball after being struck by some of Sierra Hotel's Air Intercept Missiles! Fox Two! Sierra Hotel flew back to base and landed on the runway. Later that day... he ate some DONUTS!! as well as some... SULFURIC ACID (He thought it was a new kind of beer) and...... then picked up a small hamster and deep fat fried it stuck it in a bun and put a wee bit of sauce and salt on it then ate dat too... and got very sick and threw up all over drunkmonkey and antiblockerzgrunt and their new shirts before going to afghanistan to kick bin ladens punk arse. but they couldn`t be fuked and jumped in a plane and half way to affgan they forgot how to fly and... who is they? errrrrrrr ummmmmmmmmmmm HMMMM ahhhhhhhh,,, EVERYBODY!! IN DA WORLD!!

-that is high

-yup ok lets get back to the story now?

Then Colonel Sanders appeared.... to be doing the Y.M.C.A. on one of the wings... that was on fire... and then the wing fell off.. causing col. sanders to plumet along with the skydiving toliets who were STILL falling. then suddenly col. sanders took out a bucket of Fried Chicken and eat it, thinking that he can at least enjoy tasty fast food of his own before his death. But he was wrong.... cos he was out of fried chicken and only had deep fat frired mars bars.. ... so he threw away the deep fried mars bars. He then pondered why the chicken crossed the road, and then it dawned on him:

That was the legendary chicken that he had not fried yet.

And so started the Quest For The Legendary Chicken™. but then he realised that he was a magicisan so he ate an a M&M and he turned into a chicken... that was drunk... and very ugly.... Then something happend it blew up as well... ...then the scene switched to a plane where the skydiving gargs were skydiving into the skydiving world of... then sushi came skydiving and slapped drunkmonkey and nomble for spamming with an octopus....but not just any octopus, its a steel octopus..... then drunkmonkey came skydiving and ACCIDENTLY drove his knife into Sushi`s back oops he said while also shooting him in the head... ... and everyone and everything that was skydiving finally reached the ground. And there was much rejoicing. ...then sushi came back to life and beat the living s*it out of nomble and forgets about drunkmonkey... then drunk monkry turned into termintor and got sent back in time to elimanate nombles spamming grandfather!! unfortunatly he was unsuccsessful and in the future the apocalypse was upon us... in the form of small sports shoes... that were trying to be bought by Shaq... but suddenly he exploded!... ...a rocket launcher that caused the world to almost end... ... but (suprise!) the world didn't end! instead it was overtaken by thosed damned skydiving toliets that had just hit the ground, pulled out machine guns, and taken over using the stagnant water contained in them. then suddenly his machine gun exploded and spluted... but thousands more kept coming ... but suddenly, they all exploded, and toilet seats were sent flying in all direction.. but they came back to life because of this letter:

November 22, 2001

Mrs. Glendora Ramos

3716 Rangely Dr.

Raleigh, NC 27609-4116

Dear Mrs. Ramos,

In these days of computers and other fancy office equipment, the personal and friendly contact with people is sometimes overlooked. We want you to know how much we appreciate your past orders and this new opportunity to serve you.

The enclosed acknowledgment lists the four items you ordered a few days ago. As in the past, we will carefully follow your instructions for processing and shipping.

Although we appreciate receiving payment with an order, we want to remind you that prepayment is not required. If you prefer, you may simply enter your personal account number on the order form, and we will send a bill later. Your account number appears on your catalog address label.

Cordially Yours,

Miquel J. Maddox

Mail Order Department

Tm

enclosure

...then Phobos said wtf? and proceeded to... ... read from the Book Of Armamants, and after doing so, he pulled out the Holy Handgrenade of Antoch .... ...and placed it between his butt cheeks... then it exploaded and he died, but noone cared... ... but because the Holy Handgrenade was used improperly, the bunny rabbit with sharp, pointy teeth ripped everyone to shreds. ..and then it ate the remains of Phobos and barfed him back to life, the strain killed the bunny, but all of a sudden... ...the bunny morphed into a gargantua!! and all our heros had to defend themselves with were polish sausages!...

so they all died but noone cared.

Un: This sux

All: Ya

UN: Well, good thing I'm a necromancer cya all!

All: HEY! Wait you can't just leave us here!

*Undeadenemy comes back to life*

then sushi came and slapped all the necromadic powers with an octopus of dispell...

UE: What ya do that for?

Sushi:I felt like it.

UE: Thats no reason!

UE: Feel my wrath!

*Steam comes out of UE hands*

UE: Whadda hell?

Sushi: The fi-octopus took all your powers away

UE: Damn...

*UE dies*

then sushi permanantly exploaded and the octopus gave Undeadenemy's powers back cause Undeads ghost brinbed Sniper to threaten to snipe it. Then Undead threw Sushi into the pit of fire where his powers are useless and he can never return without Undeads explicit permission (thats a mouthful) as always, I'll let you out sometime in the future after you get done chatting with Edcrab, Osama, and the Urinal with wings. Enjoy yourself! And so, they did enjoy themself. Osama had a nice chat with the urinal with wings, and Sushi enjoyed slapping people with an evil fish. Then they started to dance... ...and a gargantua came along and decided to guff on their heads, luckily for them... they had a staple gun and they stapled their heads back on, but then there was the matter of killing the gargantua... so they used the staple gun and it worked but... ...the garg was only stunned! they had run out of ammo, they decided to run... into a big deep hole filled with spikes and a kill_trigger at the bottom... floor which was the skydiving school... for the skydiving toliets... .....the team went in a bathroom and found the homer model sitting on a sky diving toilet... taking a shit but the shit was going out the other end cause the pipes weren't attached. Fearing death by drowning in the shit, everyone started to eat it... ...except shadow.....he just settled for a cup of tea instead and ate 3 bisquits by the way in the same time the others drowned in that brown stinky mass ... .....but the new breed of hagworm "Shit Leeches" ate the left over biscuits. ..... and the Shit Leeches lived happily ever after in the now overrun PlanetChubby. However, the Chubtoads hadn't given up on there planet yet, and several tank squadrons were fighting on a small penisula as they spoke. Luckily for the Chubtoads they had enlisted the help of several squads of SvenCoopers who were currently pushing the Agrunt hoards back. then SUDDNELY and without WARNING, mini g-man walked over theri, moved his tie and nodded his head and then it all went dark, and when it came light again all chubbys and worms were DEAD and also skydiving... ....snarks... dropped from airplanes bombers by the svencoop squads on agrunt bases. Then, since the "Story" has lost all touch with reality.... Mad Jonesy vomited all over the floor the bouncer then made him wipe it up with his face... ....then before they had time to finish 7 commando Llamas came into the bar by ropes, these llamas had been trained in the art of.... ....skydiving.. ...without parachutes... so they dided before they could do any harm... ... and skydiving was eliminated from The Story FOREVER. AND EVER. AND EVER. And, of course, there was much rejoicing. So everyone thru a party rejoicing from no mroe sky diving and they had a good time until ......... skydiving started up agian for no apparent reason so Shadow Eliminator shot himself to end the pain. However, Undead decided there was no suicides and that everyone should stick it out so he brought him right back to life. Then, out of nowhere, Shadow appeared vaporizing the surondings..... Pulling out a freashly baked muffin, he climbed mount everest and declared "I R R00k0r j00r d44dys!!"

Meanwhile..on that tram in space the G-man and Gordon are talking and Gordon excepts. Then Gordon walks in the portal only to be teleported to.... ...a large stream with hundreds of samon spawning left and right! Suddenly Gordon looks up and notices a big-ass bear hunting the fish... But Gordon notices hes wearing the fish suit and the bear is chassing him so he... kills james bond and Parkey from Red Faction for hitting on his girl Eos.... .....shadow got up from being mildly stunned and 3 MORE Commando Llamas came in UNDETECTED through the vent system... But 2 friendly assasins comes to your aid... and the commandos date the assassins so you run away to.. english grammar and spelling curses.... Which reminds bob-o that it's his turn to rule. But then suddenly an english TEACHER apeared... and its Bjarte, the evil english teacher from hell The evil English teacher made everybody diagram sentences (NOOOOOOOOOO!!). AND SING ALONG WITH SONGS (the pain) BUT!...Worst of all his favorite song to sing was... the BARNEY THEEM SONG! (purple dinosaur Barney)

Worst of all he made you sing it... But some rebels were tired of it so they set out with a team to Kill him so they... slit his throat and he laughed gayly then fell over dead... So, now that the teacher was dead, it was time to embark on the Quest For The Golden Chicken™. So they went to KFC and bought 10 pieces of cripsy chicken 2biscuts and a side order for only $9.99!...so they foudn the golden chicke and it was time to.. ..go to school... But the teacher was dead so they cancled classes so they decided to... trash The White House, after that... They captued OSAMAMA BINLADEN and tied him to a chair and proceeded to stick a probe up his... rectum So they got tired of doing that so they got a plane flew way up high shuved a rocket up his butt and lit it and watched him fly down to earth where he.... ...was shot down by Anti Aircraft guns.... and flamed by thosands of newbies who always says bin LOLen... SO Binladen shuved another rocket up his butt and flew back to Afganistan where he... UNNERVOUSLY BOUGHT ALL THE TABLES OF THE WORLD, and fitted them with automatic internet linked toaster`s!!! now with all the tables wat was bind LAAAAAden gonna do??? He was gonna stack them up and try to crawl to heaven but God saw it an flicked the bottom table causing BinLaden to fall and fall and hit the ground and the ground would break sending BinLaden to Hell where he... would meet Ana and the king... then suddenly everyone remembered that Osama was burning in the pit of fire Undeadenemy had created. Confused everyone soon realized that it was an imposter Osama, they proceeded to kill him for being such a fucking ass pervert fagget! Moving on they cleaned up the White House the Rune had trashed then kill Rune. After that they had a picknick in the BasketBall court/Skatepark that was formerly known as Afganistan... but as they were having there picnic a bunch of pyscho maniacs jumped out and demanded our MAYO! so he gave them a jar full of pickles in mayo..and they got mad and chassed us so we all ran to... ... a dimensional warp, which brought them to the land of sentient bread once again. the maniacs died a horrible death and then died... and they spawned in Atlantis and walked out the door and was crushed by the tremendos power but then they spawned at... ...disney land!.. ... and it just so hapened that ragingtofu was there. Suddenly, Half-Life 2 smacked him in the head, so he used the displacer to transport himself home (boy those things are handy). But before he could install Half-Life 2:-the fake.... He threw it out cuz he saw the words pinted on the back thar said "THE FAKE!" ..... and it was fake... because the fake had been made at the fake factory at fake street of fake town in the middle ofthe month fake which had been created by fake the god of fake `s of the fake ammargadden... ... so then the REAL Half-Life 2 fell out of the sky and smacked him in the head (which is pretty hard to do when you're inside). But before he could put the REAL Half-Life 2 disk in his drive .... It yelled.. ""ALL YOUR BASE R BELONG TO DRUNKMONKEY!!!"".. so the PC crashed! and the monitor blew up in his face!!!!!! So Drunk Monkey ran around with no face until Jonsey banned him..then everyone spawned at... The Shadow Realm!!!!!! it was being invaded by flying urinals with Cerebral Bores! they ducked behind the large statue of Shadow Eliminator and planned a strategy... which was to..... Send Nomble out and spam them so we could run and they... ... would continue to spam untill the urinals turned the Cerebral Bores on themselves, and bored their brains out. But since the urinals didn't have brains, a paradox occured, and everyone was sucked in. then someone came along and said, 007 keep Nomble out of this! and then left with out a sound... But just then one of the sentient breadies approached and... said.. BING-BONG ching chung diccccaaaa dong ddaaackk. CHICKENS!!!!.... ... but it wasn't a scientist, it was a... uh... er... A really gay grunt!... and a really small feild mouse.. and a headless baboon smoking a spliff out of it's ass and they all.... went to assramistan to gun down Bin Laden with the help of the svencoop team.... and a large unforgivven leacky pen, and the pope... smoked.... dope with a goat which was partial to... smoke.. and it... smoked a petrol bomb.... and it... thought nomble was smoking something too. the goat screamed the words: "keep Nomble out of this!" and left without a sound... apart from the words. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH CHEEEEEEE HAAAG BANNNAA ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA and wing fang... and then he exploded.. suddenly the ground opened up! The sun glowed dimly and the trees were uprooted by the vicious storm! New life was granted in the deep seas, demons wandered in the woods and flying creatures flew in the blood red skies, twisted trees grew high over the grey mountains and where lakes had been were now smoldering craters! They tumbled into the Abyss of fire and fell into a dark cavern lit by flaming skull laterns! The shadow ahead lurched towards the svencoop team with it's huge axe and bastard sword. It swung for Nomble with its heavy axe. Nomble Shreaked: " AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...wtf?" Nomble lurched as all that stuff vanished as quickly as it came. but then it came back! for a brief two seconds and nomble tried to shoot himself. BUT... friendly fire was off... and the bullets morphed through nomble's head, hitting the giant blob thing that was about to chomp nomble, and everyone else in the level's head off. But since the monster got shot in the face, which mangled recognition, the monster fell down, triggering a violent env_shake to occur as it landed. The env_shake was so powerful; it threw the players about the level and dispersed all of the weapons far away from their original location. Once everything settled, everyone suddenly teleported next to the big monster blob. The blob, being yellow and green, was absolutely hideous. Its face was not recognizable anymore due to the face shot from nomble. The crater it had created was humongous in size. The monster's jaw, covered in orange blood, was starting to bubble red goop that was dripping from it's eye sockets. Just then, Bob-o launched a grenade towards the blob's giant protoplasmic sack, which promptly absorbed the grenade. The grenade didn't go off as it normally would because it didn't violently decelerate. Bob-o launched several more into the protoplasmic-goopy-sack and spawned about 274 more pairs and launched those as well. Growing tired of the grenades not exploding inside the protoplasmic sack, Bob-o found a normal fragmentation grenade and threw it into the sack, in banana-mode, causing all of the contact grenades to explode. It was the equivalent of a 10-megaton explosion that only hurt bob-o. Bob-o's now mangled and goopy-shit covered corpse flew a few hundred yards back and slammed into a rocky wall, causing his limbs and torso to instantly separate into little bits resulting in a large mess on the walls. The explosion also sent the yellow and green protoplasm hurtling everywhere through the map, covering everything for a radius of 3 miles, even throughout the air ducts. The players, not affected due to the FF mode, were also covered with the protoplasmic crap. The only thing that remained of the giant blob creature was the zombie that was sulking through the halls about 60 pages ago (or something... a long time ago), which now recognized Gordon and began to sulk towards him. Since Gordon was covered in the protoplasmic shit, Gordon wasn't able to move, the zombie was just close enough to slice him in half with his new Ginsu claws. The zombie reared his arm back and swiftly hurtled it towards Gordon's neck when... ...the headcrab on the zombies head started to... wonder why the hell Nomble came into the story... and THEN tey all exploded... in 5minutes.. .of... Pure Pleaureful Bliss..... then everyone went "WTF?" because this story was being told in past AND present tense, which leads to crazyness... yet it did not cos drunk monkey interveened!!! so it happened within the 5 mins of the future happening of the past which could not happen cos time does not exist only a flow flooing that cannot go backwards so it didn`t happen and the entire universe didn`t and so... everyone remained confused so it started a chaos.... one ruled by drunk monkey. His ramblings could be heard throughout the lands but a resistance rose up and... 7 devil worshipping chickens appeared and said.... *do not do drugs* ... and since the people wore scared of the chickens, they did not do drugs, and, therefore, big tobacco was forced to go out of business, solving all the world's problems. then the chickens... Exploded... into... ... Evil Chicken Pieces, which then sucked the Sven Co-op team into the most horrible, horrible place you could think of:

An anime movie with bad dubbing. Mickey Mouse: The movie. Which for some reason became a big hit in the UK... and they all named their babys to Mickey... ... but soon, another crappy movie that premiered in the US was a huge hit in the UK. That movie was.... Yet another crappy Pokemon Movie: Gotta Kill Em All, Which was actually the best of the lot. Merchandise was released when the craze hit the UK. including headless Pokemon and.... gay porn.... Even Charles was caught playing with some of the merchandise... ... and then, because things were getting way too weird, the story suddenly changed. and so they left Headless Pokemon and gay Pokemon porn behind and they ventured to the land of Chocolate.....where they found... lots of German tourists... That played dodge ball 24/7 with stones and sticks then someone lost an eye. off their favourite action man figure... yelled kept yelling ACTION MAN THE GRATEST HERO OF THEM ALL! and then a pocket sized dairy cow was taken out of a german's pocket and said... "I told ya homeboy!" ...now milk me like you mean it! ... and everybody got freaked out as they suddenly realized that the cow could talk!! in seven languages including italian.

aiuto! sono una mucca e sono stato attaccato in questo equipaggio la tasca per ottanta sette anni e puzza di formaggio giù là! have.got prego aiutarlo! mungalo mentre voi ancora!!!!!! della latta and started to rap AZN pride songs!

Its the AZN ------ fuk da res dallas to newyork jigga we da best vietnam to japan to mongolia, philippenes to taiwan to cambodia korea ahh huu hometown china who u got huh? U got shit ----- feel the size its the AZN better recognize.........(i know the leriques but u guys add on to the song) .. blah blah blah, la de frikkin' da. the song was accompanied by the bald guy with the tinted glasses from the David Letterman show... and then he got killed by... Letterman and all the sudden, all the members of the story lost their penises. and black baby jebus cried And then everyone on the story (sort of) got their penis back. but its was a dark conspiracy... so everyone was dragged into a country that was run by the Taliban. However noone would take that kind of rules so they slaughtered them all using... democracy, freedom, and britney speares new single ... but the single wasn't enough, so they had to use the new Backstreet Boys CD, which made the enemy's heads explode. Then gordon came and started to sing with the backstreet boys and then Adrian came and... ATE THE CHEESE OF POWER *put heroic music here* Then adrian started beating gordon up and Barney Calhoun came in and started laughing when a group of grunts jumpped him and beat him up... so there was much rejoicing. so they all.... got drunk and played hockey with sticks... suddenly walter felt the urge to smack Gordon in the face with the hockey stick as hard as he could. and he did it... thus, walter got sued for a dented skull that he gave to gordon and walter countersued gordon for the huge amounts of innocent scientist he killed during the incident, Then out of no where adrian showed up a said he is sueing gordon for 412891231100000000000 dollars for the huge amounts of lost marines, then the we must let animals and aliens live commity sued gordon for commiting genocide on the poor xen defenceless aliens, in other words walters gonna get sued by one person while gordon is 50000 percent skrewd However, the G-man turned up with his army of Black-Ops lawyers... who sued Gordon back to the stone age. and then they all ate some bacon sandwhiches and lived, HAPPILY EVER AFTER... ..The End....? NOPE! Suddenly the toilet overflowed and put them right back where they started... and so the cycle continued, for ever , UNTILL ONE DAY gman ran out of pencils so he had to jump backwards while on fire saying yakkaaa and trying to do the funky gibbon dance to create a polystyreone box.. but a rip in the space time continum caused the whole story to start over when gordon was trying to unclog a toilet while he crawled thru vents killing headcrabs avoid a military death squad and so on and so forth

but the story is to be told differently.. diffrent.... and so the entire world changed and so gordon wasn`t a scientist he was a, hot dog sales man in a small village of pokesvill under the name of alan freeperson... Then the space-time contiueum turned Gordon back to Gordon and warp him to UT where he had to fight Xan Kregor! ... Ofcourse the Gorons were screwed because this Xan Kregor thingymajig stole all the goron's rocks and they had nothing to eat! So the gorons went to have Gourmet rocks in never never land. But they never did! so.... gordon decided to unclog his toilet while skydiving so the skydiving toilets returned to the story for another invason... until they crashed down in the white house..... .....which hurt.... so damn much... that it hurt... much.... ... more than you could ever imagine. And there was much rejoicing. so everyone died... ... except for me. You know why? 'Cuz I had my tray table up, and my seat back in the full upright position! but a loose article of bagage fell on ragintofus head and died and everyone found themselves in the burning pits of hell... and the english turned into Hugtican…Shortly after that, I came back to life with a bit of help from Undeadenemy (oh sure, I'm missing a few limbs, but that's not the point). then the guy 'I' died becuarse of a heartattack.... and he too end up in hell. He was there forever..until, he did a good thing in hell and was allowed to reincarnate into...Ragingtofu 2! but then the brave 'I' died once again... Then Undeadenemy revived himself after waking up in the burning pit of hell and reincarnated ragingtofo... and the lord shined heavely on this day. ...on his rounds, a small story was spotted. And the lord doth bless the story with... skydiving toilets (dont you just love them) that was made in hell by satan productions. Then they were killed midair by the Germans in the movie "A Bridge Too Far" and the film companys started to pump out half made world war II movies to the cinemas... ... and for some strange reason, people accualy liked the over-hyped, steryotype (hey, that rhymes) movies. until everyone went to... a GIANT DONUT!!... where they died in brain-cancer..... caused by anthrax they all inhaled from numbles fart then everything was so gosh darn wierd(think Michigan accent) that all there heads exploaded but one guy managed to survive... it was. MIKE THE HEADLESS CHICKEN! he knew he had too..... find the alien-egg-generator... then Nomble comes in and asks, 'Who the fuck are Numble?' then leaves without a sound... But a cow followed after Nomble... The cow didnt have good intention's at all! it attacked nomble.... but the cow knew that if you mess with the best.... it would be beef to dinner, so Nomble had a party alone then died becaurse he hated being in the story .... then instead off coming too heaven Or hell

he came too (insert happy music here) THE MAGIC BAN LAND!

and guess who approached him....sankis, Mad Jonesey,Commando, And THE ALL MIGHTY SVEN VIKING!

Sven say's [Nomble in the flash, Or in the story. i've taken myself the liberty of relieving you of your penis, as most of them was spam proberty.But. i've read deep down into your mind GOD killer, i know your fear young warrior....Would you like too meet him ? MUHAHHAHAHAHAH *Step's back*]

Mad jonesey aproaches.

Mad jonesey : I MAY HAVE BANNED YOU ONCE, BITCH. BUT I WANNA DO IT AGAIN!

GET READY TOO GET SLAIN! BY THE MAGIC BAN MAN!

[Envirement chenges too a tempel like arena with holes in the wall's which leads too outerspace. Just like a time hole.

Mad jonesey upgrades too [SUPA ADMIN SKILL 10 : ADMINISTRATOR: Me : NOMBLE !!!! HERE!! *throws a uzi and some weapons*

Will nomble survive? find out. IN the next real reply!

...Nomble checked the clip in his uzi, while he mumbled "lock 'n load", the he pulled his shoulders back and pushed his chest forward... and ran away becaurse to escape the terrible story of THIS story... but nomble came back no words picked up the uzi and went to the bathroom to ... get away from the story, because if anybody had any freakin' sense, they would leave Nomble out of it!!

So, the story picks up with Honking Donkey. talking about a plan to throw swiss cheese out the window to shoot down an osprey that has been throwing cheese danish stuff at gordons base who fell oof a giant stalk then he went repunul repunsel where for art thou romeo then a horse falls on who and then honking donkey lost the story again and kindly asks drunk monkey to help him find it until 3 blind mice ate him then a cat with giant boots eat the mice then the woman in a shoe came out of no were… and killed the barney..... then barny......died and suddenly, out of now-where, a horde of hundreds of headcraps apears... and killed the barney when he was puting in the code so we´re stuck. so everyone screamed damnit stuck in crisis 2 for the next 12 hours the svencoopers must find a way to survive so they decided to play survivor and the one with most votes gets eaten. so after 9days there was only 1player left, then the map changed to crisis2 again so he was stuck in the spawnroom.... so the door remained shut for 1 hour until a guy showed up and said "Hi lets kick as......What the hell nooooooooooooo!!!!" the guy ate him and the guy stayed for another 3 hours until the server closed down and he found himself inside the computer.

Prick your finger and it's done. The moon has now eclipsed the sun. The angel has spread his wings, the time has come for better things!

This has nothing to do with anything... just like the rest of this story!!! YOU BROKE THE STORY! FIX IT!

... back in the real world, a small groups of SC-players met in a deserted alley. They didn't know why they were here, but they knew they had a purpose... AND Madbopp flashed away and his little riddle taht was never a part in the story was forgoten... then nomble became bored with life and decided to rite a novel of his life........ It sold like a led balloon because no one understood the his ritin and he became a millioneer. and he took all the fricking money to get th hell out of the story!.. and then we warped back in time where Gordon Freeman faces his biggest threat yet, he has to... fix a cloged toilet, that was filled with... crawl through vents, kill aliens who get in his way and avoid the military clean up squads throughout Black Mesa! it was soo boring.... so Nomble spent all of his money on a nuke to... get revenge against Mad Jonesey. but then facehugger got bind of lying becaurse Nomble dosent need a revenge ageins Mad Jonesy... so nomble dissapeard without a trace, BUT SUDDENLY, BOB SAGAT APPEARD! he showed some good video's with annoying and bad inserted voice's, and then he told a joke and maked a symbolising bad laugh *very quiet : aha ha ha hah ha ha ?* he was trying too get the story member's too laugh, but the only thing that happend was.... the terrifying sight of MadBopp rising from his seat while drawing his sawedoff pumpgun and... Facehugger, reloading his gun. bob sagat ran, /me : DIE NIGGER!! *BANG BANG BANG* /me : doh, bob sagat isnt a nigger : anyway he ran, but not fast enough too avoid the strange *crack* sound from his chest, that came right after the *BANG* sounds .he went down with a robotic laugh (just like a walkman that run out off battery power) bopp and facehugger knew they had too get out off the building before getting sniped Or taken down by the swat team's. bopp had a idea, (Facehugger you idiot!) he wanted Facehugger to get out the backdoor and highjack a car and meet him in front of the building. And Bopp himself decided pop a couple of the directors at this silly show. When done, he burst out from the front door... *insert car hand brake sound here* GO GO GO! bopp enter's the car....they drive.....but something is not right, some is indeed not right at all...... ...you see Phobos was eating a.... donu... *Ahem* i mean Grapes.... and those grape's,

had been in contact with bob sagat (that where you throw things up in the air in a circuler motion and catch them with the other hand) phobos knew he had too do something about it couse, he was already starting too think 'AFV' is fun.

/me sees phobos on the road acting like a jerk *Make's a 360 spin brake*, couse the hand brake in general is too slow* , PHOBOS?! What HAVE they done too you ?! WAKE UP!!! ITS BS (bob sagat) THE DRUG, SNAP OUT OFF IT, TRY TOO REMEMBER!!!!

ahhh, shit. we need too wake him up, we need his help.

i know how too wake him!! : Svencoop, blocker's.... blocker's.... blocker's.... *Phobos : ohhh, my head... i remember something about blocker's it was : Blocker's Are : ...... (insert negative response in the next reply) ... zombies controled by Dracula! So ragingtofu grabbed the famous whip from the Castlevania series and proceded to destroy all zombie blockers. but the zombie blockers kept on coming, and Phobos remembered

"thou canst kill that which is already dead, but you can blow it into tiny kibbles" so he layed the smackethdown on the zombies with a grenade launcher... but a grenade flew into the castle's septic tank and... and blew up the whole fucking place. so dracula was dead. and the rest off the zombie's became normal, but did the story member's have any mercy ? HELL NO! the story member's jumped too a quick snap conclusion, it was too....... re-eliminate george bush (he keeps coming back damn it...) so Phobos, Turrican, Malek, Sushi, Facehugger and the rest of the l337 story members went to DC, stormed the white house and... forgot wat to do and left While they were leaving The White House, MadBopp gained acces to The Black Mesa Research Facility via a hidden tunnel in the derset... just taht it was blocked by a fat homer.... But then MadBopp heard the sound of grunts comming closer. Now he was just waiting for them to kill the fat, stupid, faggot of a blocker... and so the grunts came, and homer bribed them off with the beer and hockey sticks so to get the homer to stop blocking, they had to... offer him 3 things,

#1, a forbidden donut.

#2, a free membership for the 'Abc' (anti barney clan)

#3, a bonus blocking feature off donating too sven viking (unfortunetly, that bonus wasnt developed yet.)

Homer was just a stupid blocker, who was easy to bribe. And he left as soon as he could... get a lipo-sucksion and got a gun without the waiting period!

And the blocker's name was ''W|5HMASTER'' He claimed too run a anti blocker clan but was actually a blocker himself, anyway : He got the gun from the ''Chippiean'' Sven Viking work's in...sven knew he had done terribly wrong by selling a gun too a blocker, he found the blocker at his home address and said :....... "nah nah nah" and screwed..Facegugger.. The blocker got mad : he took sven hostage, he took sven too a secret blocker base. but, sven had some luck : he had his mini G.P.S Transmitter

Which was traced by the story admin's And moderator's :

they assempled a group of the BEST men : most of the story member's : under the command off Mad jonesy the squad travlled (argh spelling error) too afganistan (another one) the group was finally there, Mad jonesy issued the order : FIRE AT WILL!!!! the blocker's fell quickly cos they just stood still and ware too fat (homer1 model) too move. : so they extracted sven and got him back too the base.

Meanwhile : on the Ngi (fun) server another blocker was blocking : but the player's had a idea : it was too :.... call for MadBopp. Their plan was to use him as a decoy. The blockerz hated that guy and... wanted too : group block him, madbopp came and got blocked, but?! what was that silver thing in this jacket ??!!! WTF BANG BANG ARRRhh; DIE DIE DIE! so the blocker's were dead. Allmost, only one was left : his Nick name was PornoKing, they approached him, he started too speak german non sense among the talking came a little word (Muti) (Mother) and so : the player's kicked him too death : the last thing he said was (Neeeiiinnn!!! MUTI!!!!!)and at last they fed him too the head crap's. and litte Sara, died.... which wasnt bad, cos gordon freeman hated her (she was his sister)so gordon was happy untill a big dot came and doted a house.. ... but the house already had dots. So the new dots waged war on the existing dots. Just then, one of them pulled out the Holy Handgrenade of Antioch, and henceforth destroyed the house because of the resulting explosion. then the song "break stuff" started to play out of nowhere... Then they all started to sing then went home then went to the bridge and jumped off the bridge, the ppl almost hit the ground but then someone died then someone said order up then some one says there is a santa clsuse then a discovery of people in the moon are there and santa lives there and ate spam all dayy and al night and always drank coke with his pik on it then… ... and they started to sing the "Spam-song" while that shit was happening, facehugger was walking down the road, he saw a zombie : WTF!!?!?! sta...stay..Stay back!!! *Mmmmm FLesshhh* hey, catch me later, ill...buy you a beer *Beeeeeer* The zombie and facehugger then got drunk and singed this song (zombie song : http://artists.mp3s.com/artists/155/loungemeat.html

(LISTEN TOO IT, IT'S SO FUCKING FUNNY!) its the one from they hunger 3. anyway, facehugger woke up next day, only too find out that ...... he had the worst hangover in his entire life and there was a naked zombie in his bed... and then madd remembered the best way to get rid of a hangover is to get even MORE drunk and bash everything you see with a spatula, so after a long hard day of "anti-hangover" exercise, he went out and... it hurt so much,

so he threated it with some off his 'Homemade sweet's' *faint's and get's all blue in the face.... 2 hour's later, some off the story member's find facehugger, (agent propagandi)

finally!!! we can 'remove' the s.o.b from this world. (madbopp)

But, we dont know if his dead....hmm... but i dont think those 'sweet's' are normal ,check's recipe : (Xtesy,heroin,crack,acid,weed) madbopp : OK, HIS DEAD.

lets burn him, Friendly garg : but, his too large for the oven,

we have too hmmmm... 'cut him into smaller part's' let's use my Fukksvan's. the story member's ware just about too cut him into smaller piece's when facehugger suddenly raise's his upper body from the ground saying 'HOLY SHIT, WHAT A SWEET' and passes out again...they knew they had too do something, madbopp : I know how too wake him up!!! (i think) madbopp :

Btw, a fukksvan's is a saw and, a sweet is just like a caremel just other taste and absolutly hard.

(and facehugger was damn lucky the zombie was a women, and only had internal bleeding) otherwise, it was perfectly normal. then suddenly an explosion occured in the... MadBopp just had to get a quick "morgen pils" to wake up from the sweet. As he woke up he heard the explosion in the garage... -"morgen pils" is a danish thingy. When one wake up in the morning with a hangover, one just get a quick beer. It is quite disgusting, but one feel much better afterwards... It's my cure against the worst hangovers, eventhough it dosen't take it all- ... and went to inspect it. As he reached the door...

(Insert heart thumping sound efects) ... It opened slowly, revealing Ed, who tried to pimp his latest project but had the door slammed in his face. He went to the other door and... got shot... by, me who was still experienceing the side effect's off his 'homemade sweet's' Facehugger grap's undeadEnemy and stuff's a 'homemade sweet' down his throat, when SUDDENLY!....... Ed wakes up again. ...and swears loudly, and pulls the convenient lever marked "Emergency Garg"... and a huge gate opended into a completely dark chamber... of an acient doomed ancestor NAMMEDD!!!! BOB-O... suddenly said "WTF did all that shit just come out of nowhere?" And everyone said "yes dumbass that happens all the time get with it man... GEEZ"

Undeadenemy punches facehugger and asks why he did that but suddenly moves out of the way just in time to avoid being stomped by the garg. Facehugger did not move in time h0wever, and was gibbed. Undeadenemy just brought him back though using his necromancing powers Undeadenemy then blasted the garg with his... Handy Makeshift Banana Bomb Launcher which was actually a bunch of bananas with TNT/Dynamite/Gunpowder in it, set afire and thrown on the Garg. The Garg eats it and... ...announces that he's going to go downtown for an indigestion tablet. On the way there... He met a Friendly Garg* so he had to battle it. But because of the indigestion he stopped attacking once in a while so he was killed by the Friendly Garg. The Friendly Garg stole the Garg`s "outer-skin" and disguised as a normal Garg to blend-in with all the Xen creatures. That worked but there was a problem:The disguised Friendly Garg is supposed to take out a walkie-talkie outta his pocket and tell the Friendly aliens about the Xen creatures` secret and some stuffs. But he had his walkie-talkie in his "actual" skin but couldn`t take off his disguise unless there`s no Xen creatures around. So he hid in the once-Nihilanth`s lair(it was abandoned since Nihilanth died at the hands of Gordon Freeman and the death of Nihilanth was seen by the one and only Gordon McGinley of SHL) and attempted to remove his disguise but... he died... of a ruptured testicle so he had to get it repaired at the doctors but his armor was to hard to get a scafel in. So the docter decided to…figure out what Honking Donkey just said, and then realized that the Friendly Garg* was dead. But then a Friendly Baby Garg continued the mission the the Friendly Garg was doing. But he was spotted and was almost killed until he was saved by.... Walther who had stolen one of the miliary's tanks... But Walter didn`t know how to control the tanks and didn`t even know how to navigate his way and drive the tanks so he drived until he ran over the Xen creatures and nearly killed the Baby Friendly Garg but luckily the Baby Friendly Garg flamed Walter`s tank just in time before it ran over him. Walter survived the explosion as his REAL body wasn`t inside in tank, but rather he controlled the tank back from Black Mesa with a long-dimension controller which has a built-in un-destroyable but de-activateable portal which showed itself when the tank was destroyed and the Baby Friendly Garg entered the portal to return to Earth. But unfortunately the teleportation station which the Baby Friendly Garg teleported to was not big enough even for it so it practically cracked in some parts. Walter who was also in the same room was shocked and thought the Baby Friendly Garg was and enemy so he.. ... tried to blow up the Friendly Baby Garg with a RPG, but the Friendly Baby Garg gibbed Walter. And there was much rejoicing. Then, a (homer model) blocker came along, and .... The FB-garg attacked him imideatly. and Homer said "Doh" and then he died and respawned in donut heaven and there was much rejoycing until the original friendly garg respawned and... he died... then respawned... But was killed by MadBopp with his two-barrel 12 gauge. Blocker Homer was now to burn in blocker-hell 4eva! It was time to move on, Black Mesa had to be under SC control again... so they blew it up... with a stereo full of chocolate bars and frogs and gargs and toys and and and and and and.... And a nuclear storm rose in the middle of no-where from nothing. and was teleported into shattered and got lost in the dark.... where even the devil cry because dante, the badass, demon killing, akimbo pistol weilding, sword fighting, juggleing, transforming-into-devil, son of satan is there. (in the game he is said to make devils cry) and then he died... But they didnt let him in hell because he called the Devils momma an ugly bitch and made the Devil cry. which then broke the story.... ...yet again..... it happend again... over and over again. Until The Master himself (Sven Viking) entered the arena... and crashed becuarse of S_FindName: out of sfx_t bug.... So he fixed... not himself, but the bug with heroin... ... but sudenly, k-mark was closed because of drug-related wars. But he had no heroin so he used sugar instead (you know, the sugar SUGAR stuff. NOT the thing you get high of!) And this killed the bug instantly. Sven was ready to go ahead with his journey... until he was alone in the map megamonstermassacre, so he spend his days trying to kill a litte monkey... But failed over and over again... Becuarse the litte monkey jumped on teh canyon wall and flied away... So.... ..Nomble wasnt in the story and then... SvenCoop people from around the world gathered in reunion. They was determined to destroy the terrorregime of Counter-strike... so extreme electromanatic field hazard detected in sector C... according to Walther, this had something to do with the molecule-accelerator in Sector E. and Vox replied with "Sector E track control please report status"... ... but before anybody could do anything, Gordon Freeman suddenly exploded into a billion pieces of Gordon-meat. Therefore, there was no resonance cascade, and a paradox was caused, and the earth was destroyed.

And there was much rejoicing. At the same time Gordon entered the "Universe and Dimension Surveiliance sektor" at the Black Mesa Research Facility. He took a look around the room. Computers and monitors was mainly in standby, but one screen was flashing: "Resonance cascade detected on Earth 6663295". Gordon ran out of the room. He had to get to the time- and dimensiontraveler machine and get to Earth 6663295 before the accident could occur. but Vox locked all the doors and said "Code red alert, in "Universe and Dimension Surveiliance sektor", security respond please. Then lots of Barneys and Barnabuses appear out of the SECURITY teleporting thing in osprey.bsp and the Barnabuses terminated the computer-controlled specimen named G0rd0n fr33m4n and celebrated with 100 Barneys firing hot leads of 9mm into the Barnabuses helmets until the helmets became unusable and all bullets hit their craniums. The Barneys have sucessfully killed the Barnabuses who were summoned by the VOX to kill G0rd0n fr33m4n who intended to stop the reasonace cascade which was caused by.. Warm grape flavored pie. The Barneys started drinking incredible amounts of vodka, talking about the possibilities of... talking toast. and then it happend again! The S_FindName: out of sfx_t bug crashed everyone.... except the Barneys who continued to talk, and talk and talk until the map ended. The map changed to barney_beach and the Barneys thought it was a beach designed just for them until the grunts attacked and.. got blown out of the sky..... and sent them crashing in to sc_spaceviking1`s ship`s engines which caused the ship as well as the map to crash into everyone`s favourite alien world... Nomble´s room... ...which contained numerous interesting posters and a portal to Xen. However, as everyone went through they encountered an awful jumping bit and... it was non other than……..BIG MOMA!!! (u thought i was gonna say nomble huh?) (No Honking Donkey you fuckin idiot) And Big Momma promptly waddled over to the oven and pulled out a fresh, hot tray of Pillsbury GRANDS biscuits!!! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!1 But the Barneys saw it and immediately killed the big momma to get the biscuits. After eating it. they felt funny and suddenly mutated into... Facehuggers... All the Facehuggers disapeared into vents and whereever they could hide and ..make love.... and reproduce and take over the whole f*cking world! MAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!! That message was posted by MadBopp, now back to the real world where.... Gordon yet again entered the BMRF. .. with pants... in his hands... and his penis got stuck in the tram door becurse he has no underwear and he got his pants off... only because he wanted to impress everybody else by the size of his ****. in other words, dick. And now back to the story where... Walter was eating a piece of Toast. Before Walter took a bite, the Toast said... suck me baby... So Walter did, and the Toast bit his bottom lip. Walter then pulled a 357 python revolver from his pocket and... made love to it... While Barney yet again entered the BMRF... with pants.. in his hands... Then MadBopp sence deja vu… Barney then started to…walk to the shooting range. He had planned to have a competition with Otis. This was going to be Derset Eagle cal.357 versus Glock 17 9mm. Afterwards they would probably hit for a beer. And what would then happen? Nobody could know for sure. But Barney was hoping they could go to his place and... masturbate.... And after they had masturbated they would have a few more beers and then go beat the shit out of a queer... then we all said that 65 pages of stupid crap wasent any good.. so I sat down with a beer and tried to think... In which I didn't suceed. Therefore I continued writing useless stuff in this useless story together with Nomble... the only story(Nomble and MadBopp) completly controled the story but then.... They got bored and started writing non-relevant stuff like:" What about we printed the entire story? We could take every page and say it into one story!" Then Nomble replied with, "Well I type this shiw down you know so your probably reading it now." So MadBopp asked stupidetly: Where did you get the patience to do that?, 'cuz I haven't read it before!? well im to lazy, ask me nice then ill mayb...

Then the world exploded and everyone died... But Gordon survived this (ofcourse!) And he went back to the BMRF (which magically had been restored) And he met Walther (who had been hiding in a closet all the time). Walther said: "you stupid bitch" with his pants on... In the meanwhile MadBopp got bored and left the story to blast his head off. He returned 5 minutes later more Mad Than ever and wrote: "Walther unzipped his pants and took a leak at a headcrab(p) which died instantly. While Walther was peeing, Gordon drawed his 9mm handgun (Glock) and... started to suck walters..... ...Megadeth boxed set... but it was really a..... ...LIMITED EDITION Megadeth boxed set... but then....it happend… it was filled with pornographic materials and.... ... Ed stole them all, and donated a large sum of... cum... Which he soon regretted becuse the mail sent a bill for sending the package.. $8.000.000.... which he had no chance to pay. except if he robbed a bank... and he robbed a bank, his mother whos big as a bank... Decided to sue him for every dime he stole and then she sat on him... and then he popped. The popping sound sent out shockwaves so loud that they woke up... And Otis yet again entered the BMRF... with underwear... ... and went to Edcrab to apologise about everyone's odd problem, where they spelt his name EdCrab. In turn, Ed gutted him, then shot himself in the head until respawn. Meanwhile... G-man entered the BMRF whith pants in his suitcase. But he was also wearing a pair AND in the story , a baby was made.... By a newbie and it wasent Nomble... it was posted by a comlplete stranger who called himself: -=[(/Counter-Strike lover\)]=- But before -=[(/Counter-Strike lover\)]=- could do any more damage with his evil baby, a SC newbie, Qualjyn, ran towards him with a crowbar, and pulled him all the way over to cs.net, but suddenly Qualjyn was surrounded by angry CS lovers.... One of them pulled out their AWMs, and for some reason it was fixed on Qualjyn_Zhilahj's head. He was using aimbot! But fortunately, Turrican ran in, sprayed the anti-aimbot spray on the wall, and then all the stupid CS cheaters were fixed on the spray and couldnt move! He then planted C4 everywhere and ran out and everything exploded. The world rejoiced! (oh, and Qualjyn_Zhilahj made it out alive too) .. But one of the CS cheaters escaped too. The mean bastard was using a new version of Aimbot, and was unaffected by the spraylogo. For several years, he waited to get his revenge on Turrican for killing all his buddies, he secretly infiltrated the SC community, going under the codename:.... Qualjyn_Zhilahj! He planned to kill the origional Qualjyn_Zhilahj and steal his indentity... One night, the real Qualjyn was sitting at home, checking PHL for new cool mods.. Suddenly he heard a knock at the door. "Now who could that be?" he thought, and went downstairs and answered the door... It was the Pizza delivery man. This was strange, because Qualjyn_Zhilahj hadnt ordered a pizza. "Wrong house" he said, but before he closed the door the pizza man pushed it open and burst into the house! He revealed himself to be the disgruntled CS survivor! (we hadnt guessed) Qualjyn yelled "Look, behind you!" the CS lover turned around and Qualjyn ran through the house frantically searching for some kind of weapon, and then he found it! His... reproductive organ.... Which he put back in his pants again. Instead he found a screwdriver thing... And then he jumped out of a window to escape the CS-jerk. But Nomble and MadBopp knew about this. They had already found their guns, and they was now chaseing the CS-dude... with boots... But the CS player had aimbot! He spotted Madbopp and Nomble on the rooftops and hit them both with a Uzi! Fortunately it only hit their heads so in CS style they survived... (if he got their feet - instant kill) or between your legs which would mean... Instant castration. or completely clean (dick)head-shot. Nomble and MadBopp emptied their clips at the rooftop, but since they were using CS Tmp's they could not even kill an ant... and that means no babys... So then Turrican turned the corner with his Dual Elites (my CS weapon of choice always) and started firing. The CS cheater hid behind some crates that were randomly placed like in a CS level. But Nomble and Madbopp were approaching from behind... and gave him a ass fu... from 300 meters range with an AWM/AWP... which was way too powerful anyway! And it made the CS lamers head pop. and shit himself... Then they poured him all over with gasoline and put him on fire and unrinate all over him to cool down the fire... But first the tied him to a stake and danced with the flames then after 5hours in the flames they took the CS-lover-lamers burned clodes off and had sexual contact for 2hours. Nomble had! MadBopp went for a beer.. But when he said "Nomble had" he ment the SC newbie who was namned Numble. Nomble laughed at MadBopps misstake and threw him down the stairs... But this pissed MadBopp off, so he went to cs.net to pick up an ak47, and he blasted Nomble out of the story. Acctually completely out of the world. and this cuased that MadBopp was the story victim... But he didn't care. In the meanwhile, Walther yet again entered the BMRF with a hangover.... He knew he had to work hard today. He was heading for the weapons research department with pants ofcourse... First he had to meet Barney at... the pornshop.... He had some secret files which Barney had to ship out. He had hidden them in a porn magazine so Walther looked in all the pornomagazines to find the papers/files... But they was gone, then Barney told Walther taht he shoved them up his.. nose... hole.. AKA Nostril. Walter took a look up his nose, when suddenly... he shoved his... gluon into.... his.. ear... opening... up for THE GREAT UNIFICATION! which caused facehugger too leap on too nomble's face... some time passed....nomble woke up...his chest hurt very badly when SUDDENLY : nomble felt even more incredible pain from his chest :

Nomble : Arrrhh, oh jesus!! Oooh! ARRRRGHHH!!

*CRACK *SPLASH* *Alien sound*

facehugger had finally started his life-cycle, he was a chest buster... he creeped around in the shadow's... and finally found some animal's too eat, next morning, 2 story member's found something strange in the vecinity off facehugger :

#1 : what the hell is that ? :

#2 : Let's get out off here. :

#1 : just a second.

he checked the skin which was on the floor when suddenly ; he saw facehugger which had finally developed himself too a alien drone :

#1 : Run like hell! :

but it was too late Facehugger (alien) killed both off them : when SUDDENLY!!!!....... Gordon entered the BMRF yet again and killed all the fricking aliens and facehuggers... Just like in the movies, the good guys always wins... "den var sq da plat." anyway ; gordon had too face the truth : there was still ONE alien lose in bmrf (M3Z0R) (Me), so he called (G.I.T)R-man, he knew what t00 d0. He had too flush the alien upward's (toward's the crew quaters) dispite the risk off fatality count's this was becouse the bmrf system core was VERY vunurable so facehugger was on his way when SUDDENLY...... "Lige så plat som alt andet der er skrevet her!" The walls began to shake and Denmark called in greenpeace becaurse they hate nuclearpower.... But in fact: most of them didn't care... and they all started to masturbate... Except from MadBopp who (again) went out for a beer... masturbation and he thought: "Wot the bloody hell is Nomble talking about?" beer-masturbation? and the combination of beer and masturbation made them all into beer-masturbation zombies, doomed to forever roam the earth and.. flush public toilets.... later at the BMRF a research team had come up with a cure for the beforementioned zombie thing.. The only problem was... that danes started to storm in!

No!

The only problems was, that the severs was starting to be flooded and headcrabs was comming up from them... and in the other end of the facility, the military were attacking... you... and You died... while he tried to strangulate Walter McDanglybits... then it stopped making sense again and everybodies faces burst open like fungus puffballs. Meanwhile, the scientist were trying to keep the headcrabs out of the lab... by throwing huge novelty ice cream cones at them. the lemon scented soap commitee complained about the lack hurdles in the story... and it worked! the Headcrabs ate themselves to death. the scientist could return to working on their zombie cure... Because one of the headcrabs got Slick, but he was still in the process of being zomb-ized. They didnt want to kill him because he was their friend. So what walter decided to do was... flush him down the urinal instead... ..but he didn't fit into the urinal, so they had to do something else. put him into the waste disposal unit first, in a way such that while the zombie-thing was horribly mutilated he didnt feel a thing... but it was too late, before Walter had a chance to do anything the fully zombified Slick awakened and attacked Walter! Someone set the damage of the Zombies slashes too high using console commands and it made Walter explode in a very satisfying way. "I told ya homeboy!" ... said the voice of God. Gurgling, the zombie Slick used it's ridiculous secondary_attack 1000,000,000 to pulverise the wall and destroy a military tank battalion. As a result... masturbation became... Nomble's death and that means... That he returned as a zombie and it was so it ended in MadBopps dream. When he woke up with the biggest hangover ever, lying in a bad with.... something that *looked* like a woman, but he wasn't too sure, because his vision was blurry So he stumbled out and got to the bathroom and got raped by... SHITbags…

THE END

Thanks for reading my story. http://nombliz.no-ip.com