And the magic story countinues! Like always.
It was a bright, nice day in the world of Chubby the Chubtoad. Today, he had a nice...shiny coin, and decided that he would buy himself a large...Richard Simmons. While hopping home with his brand new Richard Simmons, he noticed a sad HellsFlame sitting on a fence post. He decided to...get him fucked up royally by selling him some white columbian gold. He reached into his pocket where...his rocket was located, he fumbled it a bit and pulled out a chocolate bar. He then gave it to...JPolito who ate It only to discover It was rat poison. Walking away from the dying Jpolito he...decided that this would be the perfect opportunity to perform a river dance. What is a river dance you ask? Why, it is the perfect combination of...the tango and epilepsy. Performed by a million...Dead cats. He began to dance on the corpses of the cats while singing the words ...of male and female bears making sweet love on the riverside. From the road up top, you could clearly see the...road was curved, but from up close it looked like...a portion had slid off into the river...and in the river a man by the name of Ben was drowning! 'Look out for the sharks!' he cried, but...then the shark bit off the lower part of his body and...A tribe of savage indians crowded the riverside, and upon sight of Chubby, they chased after him. From up a tree a creature cried, "come up here!", and when Chubby looked up, he realized it was...Barney the anoying security guard. Up in the tree he was watching the savages while eating a...wenchista and looking out for drunk hitchhikers in hopes of snatching himself one in order to...eat his brains, while listening to...Porn Groove music, and...then take pictures of the fawn across the lot, to sell to the local mayor for...Hookers. Chubby then notices the TREE can talk. The tree is also wearing...A tight tank top, shiny short shorts with a clearly visible string thong underneath, and had an afro like Richard Simmons. In fact the tree WAS richard simmons! As the workout music started to play, the tree...Looked down at the savages charging at it. Richard/Tree then noticed the savages were infact 8 year old CS players. He then opened his mouth and spoke..."sharks, i order you to kill them" and the sharks did so. he then said..."yo man, let's go hit up a big phat ass tob bowl and get FUCKED out of our GODDAM MINDS!". And then, Jerry, whom appeared out of nowhere as the narrator didn't read the previous lines...gives him a subway sub. Which in turn causes a ship full of...Kittens to explode. The tree then looks down at chubby and screams..."JESUS CHRIST I'VE NEVER BLED 2 LITRES OUT MY RECTUM". The tree then pulls it fat, ugly roots out of the ground and says "shit nigga, RIP TOOKIW yawm sayin, cuz crips 4 lyfe, always on the left side muhfukka" then chubby slowly turned his head up towards the sky, stroking his large (to the scale of his body large) manpenis...that did not belong to him but rather to...MutantMFM, who has perhaps the largest penis of all...the Amazons in a three inch radius. It only took...2 men, to have a man2man frot, which lasted...For about three weeks, during this time Chubby starved to death, giving us a new character, HellsFlame, who was...Currently eating in canada. He walked down the road to see...if he could see his shoes while he was walking, and he tripped over a...An amazonian woman, who was reading a book. She looks over at him and said..."tookie died a happy man". He looked up, to see two, bright, beautifal blue eys gazing into his. "Why hello, I am Reginald C. Cucumberus. I have come to your enchanting village to study and evaluate your tribe."
The eyes belonged to a big bulging man called Braden. As a response, Braden told Reginald to...suck his massive throbbing male sex organ, as it is a tradition for visitors. Not wanting to offend him, Reginald followed his command. As he began, he could have sworn that it tasted like...young girls he had met during his senior years in high school. Oddly enough, he found out that...she had an anus stain from her last boyfriend, Tookie...the mad leader from the gang of...JPolito's Spammage, which kind of tastes like...a dolphin that has been set out too long in the pouring acid rain of...the Sanchez Brothers' firehoses. Chubby, seeing all this, was utterly petrified. What would he do next?
He decided to...be resurrected by HellsFlame's resurrection spell, only to be...roadkilled by a car on the highway. His dead carcass then...was eaten by Kosi, to give him super human strength, and wonderful colors in his eyes, so he could...fly to the moon, to create his evil genius base so he can...go back in time to watch the beginning of Chapter 8 all over again. Unfortunately...to his dismay he was thwarted by…Kosi's twin brother, Isok, who wanted bittersweet revenge for what Kosi had done to his wench, the very desirable...Count Dracula. Isok attacks with his undead legion of penguins...that numbed in the trillions. However, Kosi's spy in the army, EvilPentaPenguin, was able to hold the penguin horde back long enough for Kosi to flee back to Earth, where he...made love to his own wench and dressed in his decked out sweat shirt and pants armor, ready to take on...His brother in a fight that involved carrots, soda, and...mega soda pop robots, that will conquer...the bananas fruit cup, for all the world to...drop their pants. However, seeing that his nose was bleeding he decided to...take a kid's teddy bear and use that to stop his nosebleed and then he...took a big dump and a turd went flying out and hit a...stop sign. Now, in another area of the world, there was an Alien Grunt named Tor. Tor wasn't like any of the other Alien Grunts and was often put down by the other Alien Grunts for not looking like them. So, one day Tor finally snapped and bought a gun...then shut this story down.
But NO. The story did not stop, nor could it ever be deleted. The story could not be stopped by any ordinary man, plain and simple. Then, what could stop the story? Simple. It was the all-powerful...Sniper. While working on 3.5 he finally snapped and...kissed Sven Viking. The people gasped at the sight and the world went into utter chaos. But Sniper was not done yet, for he then...summoned a babygarg to take his place so he can...escape to a private island with Sven Viking that they bought with our donation money. Meanwhile, Commando and Mad Jonesy, the last two gods of earth, then...tor appeared... to combat the threat of the combine to the earth...But Commando and Mad Jonesy wouldn't have that as they shouted, "THE COMBINE ARE OUR FRIENDS! BE A COLLABORATOR!" with which Tor replied..."the combine are a threat that must be dealt with before they overtake this 'defenceless' planet"... and at that moment a large exploseion occured and... hored of headcrabbed zombies came out from the hole in the wall of the building made by the exploseion...that was caused by hydepth farting...and raging dildos...that were on an evil march to take over the world...and deny men sex, they did this because...thats just what Dildos do, right? Anyhow, once they reached the Wastelands, they super glued a santa hat on Qwerty's head, then ate...a big greasy breakfast and drank lots of beer, while this was happening, chubby, after miraculously reappearing..went down the road to...find the Tor Hideaway. After all his friends were eaten by Tor in the first chapter, Chubby thought it was payback time. He loaded his Chubby-shotgun(tm) and went off to find Tor, then he...suddenly had an attack of amnesia, not knowing what to do Chubby walked around the world where he was adopted by...a friendly Gargantua that became his new father. The relationship wasn't as fag..and said "his name is hydeph not hydepth, and if you spell it wrong again we're going to saw off your testicles and force feed them up your ass." The combine turned around with his penis hanging through his zipper in his pants, and with a surprised expression on his face he said..."we must explore the inner parts of the Earth ! And so they did. They started digging and digging till they reached...the center of the earth, no doubt! What they found down there was extrordinary, which was...actually the center of the moon. The Combine was quite confused about this, but came to a conclusion, that since the center of the moon was where the center of the Earth should have been, the center of the Earth must be at the...desk of a teenage boy flipping burgers at McDonalds. So they started digging their way up again, but there was something in their way now, it was... an elucidean terror beyond words, it's mighty form quivering as it spoke unto them...
CAPTAIN
JEAN
LUC
PICARD
OF THE USS ENTERPRISE
"M
M
M M M
Make It So
Make It So
Make It So"
he said
...then suddenly, Turrican leaped out of the shadows and cracked Picard over the head with a Captain Kirk painting! Amist the chaos, one of us commented..."furries, lol". Everyone at the scene suddenly noticed a very peculiar shape to the upper-north-left-south of the now 4.5dimensional room they found themselves in. They...yiffed...and then they...sexed...and then they...decided to dig up more but instead of fiding the desired desk they found...the secret door the the UNDERGROUND GNOMES LAIR OF RICHARD BODERMAN ! They squeezed themselfs through the small door and...were instantly arrested by the local Gnome Squad. After interrogation, torture and imprissonment, they decided to escape through a crack in the wall, but...instead they forged a cunning plan, involving seducing the gnome guard in order to...take over the lair and start producing their own fake names for Half-Life mods. The first one that came out was...SVAN COP.They could find what it would be about so they...simply stole ideas and materials from other mods and games. When the lawsuits came they fled the lair, planting a huge timebomb to destroy the hundreds of lawyers, who...were huge fans of queer of for the straight guy..but suddenly...sixteen people appered with TV's and started wantching...by pressing knobs and screens made of...plastic, the Simpsons. It was an old episode that they've already seen about a 100 times so they decided to go back the the SvenCo-op HQ and report to...Svenny the cop. He told them to go screw themselves and...thus they did. Shortly thereafter...a burglar was burgling burgers at the local burger king, they witnessed this and decided to...kill the mascot king and use his corpse to build a space ship with the purpose of...crashing into the sun, to see if it had a solid core. When no reports from SS Corpse was heard, they decided that...n was a better choice. "All Hail the decision of n!" They saluted, as they were...secretly going to kill n to contemplate the glory of the great B, then...they realized that they didnt care so they went out to party that night, and met a group of...hydeph worshippers, who bought a fast food restaurant, but it never made any profit, because...their burgers were actually half tiles that they got from an edge of a roof from a bad counterstrike map, so nobody came to eat there. Meanwhile on the other side of the island...a goat whispered..."Baaaaaaah Baaaaah" But that had no relevance to anything whatsoever, so instead we look at...El Gringo and JPolito, deep within their secret island lab, plotting to...have anal sex with each other. Then they...insanely masturbate to their own reflections while listening to Richard Simmons work out tapes...
OH BABY YOU'RE SEXY
WORK IT
WORK IT HARD
OH BABY
THATS RIGHT FEEL THE BURN
DEEP WITHIN YOUR SKIN I FEEL THE BURN
DO YOU FEEL THE BURN
OHHHHH THE BURN
They then stopped what they were doing and commited themselves to a mental hospital where they found...their old chieldhood imaginary friends, who had been making a living of stealiing other peoples organs and selling them at the black market. This was obviously just the thing for our two heroes, so they...went to the black market to commit disturbing acts with peoples organs. Their old imaginary friends told them to go away but they...imagined them away and continued about their business until suddenly...the previous mentioned wispering goat appeared at Manhattan and started attacking everyone, cause it wasn't mentionened that it was twenty stories high. So when the Anti Wispering Goat Monster Squad appeared at the scene...they got all wet and covered in...sprinkles. The Goat had torn down a water and then a sprinkle tower upon the poor inhabitans. When the entire city was burned down...and started throwing Richard Bodermans at the damn goat. The goat got its wispering penis eaten by the GREAT MIGHTY POO, who...was shot...BY THE GREAT MIGHTY BONER who...decided to stop being obsessed by cock and move on to the more important subject of..the chinese economy..destroying Sniper's country...toggling the svcoherence on and off in the story. After I set it properly, I then turned around and...switched on the button marked...DO NOT PUSH ME, which kinda looked like a giant...can of soup, everything exploded but everyone survived with the exeption of JPolito who couldn't stop doing unfunny inside jokes thinking the whole world would understand him and find him funny, anyway...JPolito then rose from the grave and summoned his evil unfunny minions from the land of...MORDOR, which has a hot tourist spot known as...THE 45TH PARALLEL, a place where you can stand on the imaginary parallel line while little poor kids rob your wallets, coincidencely Tor was travelling over there and...was shot by little nine year olds who just started playing SC and didn't know that there were allied monsters. But then...your mom..with your dad...and little 7 year old sister..went on a vacation for no reason at all, then inside Sven Viking's secret hideout in the Bahamas... where we recieved a mysterious letter which summoned us to MOAM land! We eagerly boarded the first plane leaving the Bahamas, and once we were all on we...whipped out crowbars and...we opened ton of boxes with them, boxes, little boxes, big, huge and giant boxes, even round boxes! Ah... I'll never forget the boxworld, it...made El Gringo jump out of the plane over the ocean with only a metal Chubby Spoon Utensil and...a case of Pilsner, which he used as a raft and paddle combination so that he could row away to...and fro, until he got sucked into a wirlpool that sent him down deep into the ocean, where he arrived at...Banville, the place where all the people who are banned from hell are banished to after they're banned again. There, he met...Butemam Butemam Butemam Butemam Butemam Butemam Butemam...who proceeded to repeat his name over and over again until Gringo got so annoyed that he...died. BUTEMAM, continued on his quest to tell everyone his name over and over so that..everyone could understand that they should bow down to BUTEMAM. The first person BUTEMAM decided to approach was...Kritter, who became his right hand man in...his quest. Now that BUTEMAM had a loyal minion to help say his name, he was ready to...eat pancakes, with a spoon. Later he got a call from his...agent, who informed him that he had just been awarded a role in Sven Co-op: The Play starring...Kevin Costner, and John Cleese, who were mugged at gun point to star in this comedic representation of how 5 year olds play...Sven Co-op. BUTEMAM was ecstatic about his part in it. All he had to do was show up on stage long enough to repeat his name a few times and then get banned. Now everyone would be able to hear his name. To prepare for his role, he...Enlisted the help of satan, who decked out young butemam in garish military attire complete with ivory pimp cane and nickel plated saber. Butemam then holed himself in a huge abandoned farmhouse where he consumed copious amounts of DMT, magic Mushrooms, LSD and various other psychadelic drugs. Transformed by his experiences in the farm house, Butemam held a press conference in the Netherlands, informing the public that he was confident of victory and that he had always wanted a seagoing vessel of some kind. In his press conference, buteman also hinted at his desire to continue his tenure as...the bannature champion of the world. This was, however, disagreeable by the other members of Banvile, who started to fight inbetween. This resultet in people getting banned from Banvile, including poor...students that miserably failed in their lives and existence.
Meanwhile a mysterious rain of haddock caused much confusion in...santaclaus workshop, where everyone was killing people, using the bodyparts as presents for other people, solving the huge gift problem. Santa wasn't very sure whether this was morally correct or not, but...seeing he was pissed he really didnt give a shit...meanwhile on a small island off the coast of antartica, a pengiun discovered..that the secret of life was...trying to not get banned from...it. However, the penguin wasn't sure how to achieve this, but it did find out that...by becoming a beaver on the plane...it could easily get killed by...EXPLOSIONS, then everything exploded...in a very comical fashion, which amused...Nobody, since Nobody had anytime to be amused by a comical explosion. At that instant of the explosion, a hole was ripped into the ground that was so big that it could have passed as your new one -- the hole, was not ordinary. It was a black hole! Nobody, and the rest of us, decided to...eat it, hoping to achieve world domination, but then jpolito...ran away because he was scared. What a wuss.Unfortunetly for Jpolito, he ran in the wrong dirrection, and was sucked into the black hole, and entered an alternate dimention, where...there were beatiful naked cats who...didn't exist. Instead there were beautiful naked women who...didn't have clothes on. Unfortunetly for the women, ...Jpolito was a convicted serial rapist. And a recluse. He...was fortunetly still so confused over the black hole incident, that the women had time to escape his wrath. When he came to his sences, ...thevelociraptor tries to be funny, so he shoots JPolito, who turns into a mutated T-rex and crashes into the floor and breakdances, smashes the OPM offices, still causing everyone on earth to throw sht and rihard Bodermans at JPolito, who gets eaten by the ruturn of the whipsering goat, who team with a Austrails from the crappy DC3 game, and destrtoys Mad Jonsey, who...tried to flee in the awesome performance of destrtotive power. After destrotting the entire globe, some higher power typed restart in console, and...everything went back to normal before the black hole incident, however JPolito had disappeared from the face of the earth and this higher power said "banned", then...the computer crashed, in some computer in some teenagers room, and deleted all of his files. Reacting to these events, he...yelled at his mom and instead of getting a beating his parents bought him a whole new expensive computer, the kid then installed Svan Kop again and...went emo finding he didnt know how to play it, shortly after that he...tried to Read The Fing Manual, what he was suggested at the lokal IRC channel. But the only Fing manuals he could find didn't have anything to do with gaming, so he...decided to play a new game called "touch dic".he loved it and spent the rest of his life playing that awesome lenghty game.Meanwhile, In Madvile, everyone was angry. Sniper had placed ihmself on the on the rooftops, 0wning the n00bs below with his trusted AWB. One of his bullets...Bounced off of one of the n00bs heads and hit sniper in the arm. Then sniper realized he was...a cyborg...with a big thirst for man-juice...a special type of juice, extracted from the biggest grapes grown. The name chosen was due to the high concentration of drugs in the grapes, which...Make thevelociraptor turn into a uber-Cerebrai (finalboss from DC3) and smashes the console, grabs Sven Viking by ther hair and says "TOR EAT NOW," and accidentally ssmashes Chubby, who goes to hell while Thevelociraptor teams with Richard Boderman to eat Sven Viking, and gets unbanned from the bovels of El Diablo, and does a backflip. JPolito accidentally flames someone not thevelociraptor, who is...currently registering a myspace account while...drinking Man-Juice Classic (doesn't have any lime or any weird stuff added) and faking drunkness in front of hot chicks.because he knows he will never get any...meanwhile in his secret lair behind the womans shower unit in the mall, the Gman watches...he watches...the male shower unit through his camera monitor. However, his lair is found by none other than Nih. Nih quickly decided to..call upon Xerxes, his trusted security program that...keeps guard in front of the door, while Nih takes a shower. Unfortunetly for G-man, the video camera exploded in the sheer horror that was to be unleeched upon it's sight, when...A bear in the forest exploded. It's remains...decided to join the mafia. This was something nobody expected. The post-death spsms faded out, and the mafia lost yet another of it's valuable members. And the one and all we can thank this for is...Nih. His brilliance killed a member of the mafia. Everyone in the world thanked him and worshipped him as a god. Somewhere else in the world...the mafia was planning their revenge, when a meteor storm came out of nowhere, and destroyed their headquarters. This was..funny because the Svencoop HQ had been hit by a meteor shower the day before. Luckily the SC HQ's top secret defense system intervened and...shot down the meteors using teddy bears made from body parts of the Banned, because after their banning they got led to a slaughter house as furhter punishment, this slaughterhouse was owned by...Bodeman, who then blew himself up for no apparent reason. Now that both the Mafia and Bodeman were extinguished, and the black hole closed, it was time to do a...Chicken dance! But this was a special version of the chicken dance. In it, you have to...jump on your tounge on a very narrow wodden bridge over a pit, while desperetly trying to hold a spoon with an egg between your toes. Oh, and did I mention the pit below that contained...Hezus' zombies that would try to...make birds fly, even though the cows STILL havn't left the field.
Everyone did the chicken dance and then...they continued into the rabbit dance, which was a vararity of the chicken dance, but with...jumps, jump-jumpity-jump. After several smart and unexpected plot twists it all end with the resurrection of...El Gringo and his adventure. He...fought his way through the jungle until he reached the complex of .exe install files for a Sven Co-op map with meaningless .mp3 files and registry edits, so El Gringo proceeds to...reformat C drive in an attempt to remove the sony rootkits...but then he got a beter idea! He decided to program an .exe to remove the rootkits automatically! And who better to help him in this mad journey? The Valve Wiki page, what else! After a minute or two, they were .CPP smashing there way through every rootkit in town. Soon after, they...sang a Christmas carol...and discovered that this .exe created huge holes in the computer's security, so things were left as they were and everyone rejoiced at the fun of root kits anyway...but little did they know...the rootkits desactivated the lasers in their security system leaving a big gap in the...wall, JPolito crawled through this gap and the level started it's changement, which lead to...the inner sides of Sven Viking. JPolito was very confused when he got there. Then he decided to try and get to Sven Vikings brain so he can try to get control of him so he can find out everything about..the whereabouts of the Hidden Viking Associasion. The HVA is rumored to have plans on taking over the world, and Sven is of a high rank. When JPolito reached the brain, he discovered...that he had forgotten his hat. So without hesitation he decided it would be better if he...went back and burned his hat, causing the smoke inside to...eat the baibies stuck in svens head that...also caused Sven to drink huge amounts of water, which almost drowned JPolito but fortunately..it just melted his skin off instead, leaving him to be a walking, breathing, immortal skeleton with red eyes that...explode on a requler basis and shhot out yellow puss that isnt very tasy at all. Once when qwerty saw that happen he said "OMG...u frigginh haxx" and then he went to the bathroom to shave his forehead and...sing. Later that day on a planet somewhere not earth, a group of 5 ninjas by the names of...Ninja, Ninja, Ninja, Ninja and Ninja. They went off to find the magic treasure of the Plumberman. Meanwhile...JPolito was still trying to get into Svens brain in his new skeleton body, but..Svens natural defenses noticed this and jumped up and down while screaming "LOL PWN" and tried to shoot him with AK-47, but jpolito...fainted and got shot...TO DEATH...but thanks to the respawning system he comes back to life but he didnt spawn to the place he started but instead to a HL2 DM server full of players..bunnyjumping and rocketjumping, while a god was...flying around spectating from above, almost like a ghost trying to find his lost body. But then, everyone thought it would be better to start talking about Lento, because he has many different player models, of which...several are burning with rage, because...people were wearing their skin as a suit, and parading around like Gein. When suddenly...a giant homer player came running out screaming how l337 cs was, and was killed by a...RICHARD BODERMAN, who...attempted earlier to take over the Sven Co-op development and...also killed David Hasselhoff, and...pissed on everyone off, and dressed up Sven Viking as Sailor Moon, then summons the WISPERING GOAT, who...whispers and manages to somehow scream at the same time. Then, Jpolito AGAIN realizes that he's a recluse and a rapist. JPolito then decides to go down to the old elementary school and...makes fun of OPM while Richard/tree comes to rape Jacko. thevelociraptor shoots JPolito with a ripented barncle, and JPolito tranforms into a Big Swinging... T-Rex, and then crashes into the floor and breakdances while Chubby the Chubtoad burns in hell. JPolito tells thevelociraptor to try and be funnier. Thevelociraptor, in a attempt to be funny, throws Richard Boderman at...a toilet and thevelociraptor goes to the...closet but he find a portal to hell. A demonic hand reaches out of the portal and...rips off his face. He soon finds that his blood has drained from his body and can no longer go on until someone saves him, which does not happen. Now we go to Puchi, who is walking through the park looking for delicious dogs to eat.
Puchi comes upon a houndeye, and says, "...I like houndeyes!". Suddenly a garg appears and Puchi is running into the...girls bathroom to hide, and doesnt notice the floor is wet and slips over, cracks his skull and gets amnesia, he goes off believing he is a girl and try's to hit on the garg...but instead gets fried by the Garg. For that Puchi dumps the Garg which leaves it crying. Then PvtT comes into the stage and saves thevelociraptor by using some skincare which rebuilds his face back to normal. Then he goes tell to Puchi that the Garg is sorry of what it tried to do. Then he takes his wheelchair and wheels over to the HVA-association. Meanwhile..a giant nuclear warhead is heading from erth, sent by Chuck Norris because...he cant be bothered to pay his taxes and find this the easyest way to...get rid of all the politicians who demand taxes from him. Although he didn't think about the consequences this nuclear warhead would have for the..dogs living on mars, because of all the radiation the decided to...sip a cup of coffee and...start shooting chuck norris, becaus of this he decided to...play 'touch dic' riding a bicycle up stairs, while sitting on a hemroids pillow watching a...whole season of "Seinfeld". Then...in another part of the world, Jack Thompson was getting a mullet when...it came to LIFE, killing all those that...think mullets are funny. Just then a randomly placed giant foot stepped on it. Then it got gang raped by the previously mentioned mafia. But to the rescue came...Golden Kebabs which had everything to do with the story, unlike some other reoccurring characters. There was then a flash of light, and all the previous character were forgotten invented new ones by the names of...Jesus Miroslov, because he thougt that...marijuna is teh pwnz. With the power of Marijuana, Captain Planet is created! Then a hippy set off an atomic bomb to destroy all of the humans. Which in his mind, created all the disasters of the earth, leaving the desolate planet to...remain a desolate planet for millions of years, until one time, a tiny little...sperm cell on crack decided to...kill itself, so that a banana could...spawn a chumtoad. Whom was named...Mr. Guy. Mr. Guy decided to take a walk in the park. Then a random nuclear missle fell from the sky. But it didn't hit Mr. Guy. Instead it hit Richard Simmons. The nuclear radiation then spread all over the city, melting everything around it. Just then, a clown named Sue decided to...say: "omg this history sucks". Then EVERYTHING IMPLODED. And Mr. Flowers got into his paradise flowers truck and drove 15 in a 35 down the road in front of me to piss me off, but i got back at him because i didn't tailgate him at all, then while he was pulling into his lot, a man came out of the local convenient store and shot him in the face with his +1 magnum, then took his truck and sped...down the yellowbrick road, where we find a lone tin-man, who is actually...The Dracula and he isnt what other people beleve. he is actualy a very green person that has lumps on top of his head that burst when people say googls. Eveytime peple say that he gets very angrey and shouts at people telling that tis a condition that makes his leg jump and his toung go...brown. Just then, the correct spelling nazis came. But now, we shift our attention to Dave. Dave is a gargantua that likes to rape headcrabs. Then, dave saw a hot looking headcrab and decided to...lick down his leg...because he likes to lick his own sweat and reaquire lost bodily fluids and salts...to disembody the crack whore prostitutes of yesteryear. Next the story begins to get a little different wit the presence of a flip-flop, a tiger, and a raisin square. Which is definately a...interesting combination of seemingly random objects, but they were all connected because they were all part of the secret society of the...kill All Immature Cs Players, and their goal was very simple, their goal was to...Conquer Ze World and shout "Look at me you stupid little crazy fish who dont know how to...Just then, Bowser came out of nowhere and said cock for all! And then he ran away. Meanwhile in Gotham, Batman was watching Bay Watch when...the television exploded and killed Batman with glass shrapnels. Soon afterwards Gotham city got covered in dogs...And the dogs said "rawr" and a mouse said "rawr" then the dogs said "rawer" so the mouse ran away. Then suddenly the dogs saw a huge gigantic...fag who couldn't write an interesting story if an interesting story ed him in the ass and possessed him for a time period long enough to write a decent and interesting story...
And then i had an idea to make small videos featuring musicians with their music, set in situations oh god THE WUmn lol..continue... to put one more peroid, and maybe end on a word that makes sense to end on. Anyway, once upon a time, the cargo went to france and ate up all the cheescake that was left in an ally near the hilarious riots that...everyone was participating in, even Chuck Norris, but then an evil laughter came from a man during his burping, this made chuck norris to...rich for money and his strainge ears made that very clear. So he decided to...eat his own foot...while blowing off peoples head with a...Jellyfish. While people were running for cover from jellyfish giblets, mad jonsey was taking a stroll in...something. While Mad Jonsey was taking a stroll is somthing land, Rugals began to come out of trees and throw waterballons at mice. Then a giant raidioactive mouse stepped on them. Just then a girl named Joe decided to...eat Rugals foot and she had an...apple that was full of maggots. It was delicious. Meanwhile, on a distant shore, there was a man, dressed in white, with a midget as a pet. The midget hated to be his pet and ran off to find a better future in the land of...better future for midgit lands. In this land he became a pet. He was very happy. Meanwhile, in some other place that has no particular reason to be in this story, the people where smacking the goats when...A man wearing a paper suit approached a group of villagers on the edge of town with the intention of...writing a letter to the editor about the terrible story writing, grammar and spelling this story cointained and how he felt tread on and disgraced. The man loaded a clip into his AK-47 and started unloading lead into village children skating swiftly upon the town centers annual ice rink. The cold got to him, and his fingers began to tremble. He dropped his AK-47, undid his zipper and...went to Disney Land! Yeah Disney Land! Where he...had a go on all the rides, with no regret for missing the ones that were borken! he then...set his paper suit on fire, which kind of looked like the man on the cover of Fahrenheit 451. During the long length of time in which it took the fire dept. to come, ...Chubby, who was lost several pages back, began to wave at the burned corpse, which made chubby think..."is this the end?" But no it wasn't because...the USSR havent nuked it. However...Chubby, the chubbtoadTM has managed to use his one eye as a weapon of mass DISTRACTION! This coupled with the fact that the I.Q. of our readership leads our hero to beleive...that we have a collective I.Q of a lemon...meanwhile a completley different lemon was rolling down a hill in the city of...Atlantida and then a big snowball came and squashed it which it then after started playing with midgets at the beach. Then the midgets were killed by a little kitty which said: ''OMG I PWN YU ALL, n00bs! Then he called the HVA and told them to nuke Atlantida with 5000 beer-bottles. Tor was watching everything in the sky and then he decided to make the kitty nicer by tampering its brains. Then some dog came and accidentaly got in the way of the 5000 beer-bottles and saved Atlantida from drunkards but unfortunately after being hitted by so many beer-bottles he got so angry that he decided to eat himself and..go to the pond to hunt some duck feeding old ladies that...have machineguns with them..and the machineguns fired yellow and green oranges. But while they were doing that sniper...was having a cup of tea by the riverside with his good buddy Commando. Commando brought up the incident that happened a few pages back, in which this story said the most unfunny sentence in the history of the world concerning midgets at a beach and a few snowballs. Not just any unfunny, THE unfunny. "I really wish this story could be a bit more interesting", said Sniper. "Well, thats easy to do" started Commando "as we can simply fuck..." But during the happiness and merriment, a sort of evil lurked in the shadows. Within a few seconds of Sniper noticing it, it...came and stole his cup of tea, and ran off giggling, it was the infamous tea banit...he ran off to steal tea from...the local wasteplant.
A disgruntled Slidje with a taste for human flesh and the power to consume souls. The intelligent beings became angered by the disgruntled Slidje and had started an uprising to repel him from the worlds. Unfortunatly the intelligent beings were not strong enough to resist Slidjes sexual assualts and they all succumbed to gangrene in their anuses. And then, teletubbys came. CkDead smashed their cocks and went on to...Paris for major fapolation. In the mean time he had set his coffee grind to start automatically at the break of dawn, so that he could have a fresh cup of java, when he committed the...Patriot act, since he worked as a freelancer for the CIA.Then he...stumbled upon a broken cup of tea. The tea was no longer in it, but he assumed it had to be a tea-cup. He gathered some glue and started repairing the cup. On the backside of the cup was an acient inscription. It said : "FFS YOU ING THIEF ! GIVE ME BACK MY TEA CUP - love Sniper.
Ckdead put his pants back on and made his way back to the SvenCo-op HQ to return the repaired cup to Sniper. There he found Sniper laying on a table with Commando sitting on his face. Ckdead asked..."So, does sniper still need facial compression for his anger issue?" Commando gets up and so Sniper, Commando, and CkDead went to the store to buy more tea, baking soda, and lighter fluid, so they could...snort the powder while drinking tea, setting fire to random people pants and have kinky anal sex at the same time...(they can multitask well aye?) While this happened, Hezus accidentally walked in to the Svencoop HQ, saw them, and immediately decided to take a vacation. He opened IRC, signed on to gamesurge, and joined #mapping, requesting advice on what he could do during his time off from the Svencoop servers. Sadly, before hydeph or JPolito could say or do anything that was completely hilarious, Wolf-Kain and Turrican had already gotten to him, and were introducing him to all sorts of furry porn. Hezus was ruined forever, and he is probably currently in a tiny dark room in the warm glow of his monitor looking at all sorts of different furries, specifically hedgehogs.
A few days after this incident, ...the jpolito research facility started getting invaded by mysterious lifeforms, known only as xen, although not from the borderworld like they knew, this new land was known as the Boderworld, where a huge monster known as Richard Boderman Resided. 2 days on jpolito and his group of crack svencoop players attacked the Boderworld finally destroying Boderman forever, freeing the xen lifeforms once again.
Unfortunatly...JPolito destroyed most of his Research Facility with explosives and melted down it's nuclear reactor when he thought that Boderman had finally beaten him.
But even though the warriors had defeated Boderman, they didn't know that...click
Rotating bedsheets? Yes, this week on Home and Garden Television Canada we will be featuring amazingly descriptive and randomly pimpin' author Douglas Adams! So in a the milkyway galaxy, in a far away and dark corner there is a solar system called...Urgel's paradise, which is full of...Chubbies !
They were traveling in groups through the Desert of the Dead Fetuses, to the holy lands of Chubbism. There they had to meet their contact person who was a...fetish for dead fetusus on toast, this contact had special information for them...that Sven had been captured by...George Bushes SS elite guard and...hydeph was right about Jpolito, and they fought gangsta style with two tech-9s. After a long furious battle, hydeph won, only to die later from the numerous bites he recieved from Jpolito. Beyond the horizon most of the people noticed that... Infact this story, has become boring so boring that...i had to go eat a ferret. Then the story continues with the dramatic vietnam play and...Emo people running around stage singing Papa Roach songs. Just then, some guy that liked to dance nekked...but the naked man had nothing to do with the tunnels under Luxemburg where Ninja, Ninja, Ninja and Ninja appeared by there teleportation device. Pvt .T., the midget, got a funny reading in his oh-so-great-teleportation-detection-device and decided to say to Bowser: "hello i am very cold and im covered in yellow and green...cat mucous..., because of this i am so sad that ill go emo. Thank You!" so he went emo and ate bowser, because of that he...was a cannibal. He lived in a tribe in central Africa, and he remembered a funny story back in the days he was still living with his tribe in the jungle. He started telling the story :
We were in the jungle with my tribe of cannibals and suddenly...a jungle appeared in the jungle and i was like...a jungle is a jungles jungle. Pretty jungly.
Just then, everyone in the story, especially Pvt. T, spontiously combusted. They burst into flames and fall to the ground. Then, their ashes got stolen by a midgit who ran down the street with them. Thus, a new character was created. His name was Mr. Noodles. Mr. Noodles decided to go to starbucks. He order a moka. But, it had rat poision in it! So, Mr. Noodles was rushed to the hosptial. His head exploded. Now we go back to Chubby, who is now "Chubby the angel thingy"(tm). Chubby the angel thingy was walking down the street one day shootin laz0rs at fishes (like he normally does)...Suddenly he saw a sign that said "Free entmod". So chubby got himself a free entmod but he got so addicted that he failed college and...enlisted in the entmod academemy. Here, he became the top entmodder in the world. But then, he got deleted by a n00b. In some other part of the world, some guy with a talking beard decided to...find out what Ninja, Ninja, Ninja and Ninja were doing on earth. He ordered cookies and went to the carneval so he could visit the toilet but unfortunately it was working. He decided then to just play with Bowser and so he went to Oklahoma and found Tor in the same ship. Then Pvt T suddenly appeared out of nowhere and decided to ally with the ninjas so they could teach him how to become the only Dwarf Ninja on the planet. During that moment at the HVA it exploded. Suddenly, Bowser woundered how the ninjas got back magicly. Nontheless, he went up to Pvt. T and told him to be a little more funny. Then, the Ninjas gang raped him and left him for dead in the desert. But Dave the Friendly Lizard came to the rescue! He took out his m4 carabine and blew the hell out of the car. Then, he used his ultra h4x0r MMORPG POWUHS to revive bowser to 600 hp. Pvt .T. got very angry now.. So he decided to go home and start playing Sven Co-op. Meanwhile now that Dave the Friendly Lizard was taking Bowser away from the hot desert, they noticed something interesting near the horizon...It was a giant banana combined with a combuter, therefore a bananacomputer! Mr. Bannanacomputer ate himself. He was tasty. Then, Donald Trump said turdmonkey. Those were actually his last words, because at that time the Ninja's appeared and spread their raping havoc across the whole Hollywood Studio's leaving famous people like Matt Damon and George Lucas with large gaping and bleeding holes where their anus used to be.
Ofcourse that was politically unjust, so.. matt damon decided to say "Matt Damon!" and go eat the remains of george lucas before he infliced another hideous star wars remake upon the world...George Lucas stabbed his way out of the Onos and grabbed a lightsaber and destroyed the alien hive...which promply exploded in a shower of green goo..splattering all the pople on the wall... At this point, Mad Jonsey, Sniper, Commando, and Sven Viking all were requested to attend a personal screening by ValvE, and to pick up the new SDK in Seattle. Once the horror set in, about all the re-coding that had to be done for Svencoop 2...their heads exploded. Then, David Hasselhoff went to the movies...to see space monkeys 3 (the return of the ape) when he thought...of becoming a space monkey and after watching that great movie: ''I shall become a space monkey too!'' To become a space monkey, he..took off all his clothes and ate a bannana. mmmmm. After he did that he went of to consolt 60megabitefile to make sure that he...was still teh lifegaurd. He was. So he did a funny dance. Then he played svan ko-op, a koopratve modeifecation for the great game half-a-life. He got h4x3d. Then he cried. Then he at another bannana. He then moved on to the world of BF2, where 13-year-olds rule the skies with imba helicopers and kamikazii jetplanes and...blind jeep drivers...and crazy bmrf ospreys. So he got on the osprey and flew to the skies, hoping that he will never see a banana again. But suddenly a 13-year-old flying dutchman carrying a 100.000 mm caliber machinegun shot the osprey. Althought the kid was ripped off by the powerfull weapon powerly power of 100.000 mm caliber bullets, the osprey got ripped off too. And when falling to the ground david thought, this is it, I'm dead. But a 40 dimentional jelly teleportation portal opened and he was transported to...the middle of Japan, where a tentacle monster moved in for an assault of the sexual variety. He quickly ran into the nearest building, narrowly escaping the horrors offered by those endless green appendages. Suddenly he was knocked to the floor by 6 naked japanese man, while a 7th stood in front stroking his massive...
End of part 8- Move on.