Part 9!
nubile garg...who was pink...and yelllow but FLUFFY and he...shoved a pipe up his...nose then he said "how did i get this up here." while wondering...about it, he joined up with the other naked men and did the chiken dance of doom. It's another variety of chicken dance, this time you have to hold one egg in each hand with just one finger, jumping with the head, over a fence, with an horde of headcrabbed zombies in a pit, up in a hill. So then david used his mind reding powers and discovered that this men were planing on taking over the world with their horde of zombies. So he cut the fence a bit and they fell to the pit, rolling down the hill, then they were raped and stabbed by the zombies, and transformed to headcrabbed zombies to join the horde. But then someone appeared. He was theSeRvErgUy and with his ultra server powers, he wrote in the console "changelevel...and exec slowhackme.cfg...and so everyone, David, the naked zombie men and the horde of headcrabs and zombies suddenly appear in...a broadway musical entitled: "Naked Zombies: The Musical"...and it got a hideous review..and back in the stoneage where caveman Bob decided that fire was a very bad thing...thus he destroyed all fires, and traveled in time to see that there will never be fire ever again. The reason being he cooked his own knob accidently...which saddened him greatly..thus he decided to stop fire being invented but the problem was that he was the one who invented fire. To escape this he comitted suicide, thus fire was never invented. now we go straigt to Afrika to watch the stupid monkeys...do little dances with Mushrooms and Bunnies ! Till some scientists came along and confiscated their Britney Spears CD. Now they couldn't do funny happy dances anymore, so they...decided to go to black mesa and kick these scientist asses ! thats why black mesa incident ever happened in first place. Just then, angry teletubbies with chainsaws joined the angry monkies. But then, everyone exploded for no reason. Now we go onto an entmod server. Just then in the entmod server...Ls cat appered and hacked the server to remove entmod and started the map osprey. after doing this he...managed to crash the game, and everybody playing either resumed their life outside of computer games, or commited suicide, because they had no life other than sven co-op. This caused a world-wide razor blade shortage, which lead to...people commiting suicide by swallowing frisbees which lead to a worldwide frisbee shortage which lead to...a shortage of doomsday devices, because of this people decided to...make a new season of Baywatch with the origional cast ! Everyone was so happy about this that moviemakers picked up 80's series like The A-Team and Knightrider again, and everyone was buying Hasselhof T-shirts. But the t-shirts were fugly, and caused chaffing and 80's style hair-cuts! Meanwhile, in the land of the netherworld, some guy with a pitchfork was contemplating...wether or not to invest in this new Hasselhoff rush. He decided to put his face on several diffrent things, like coffee-cops and soul-pacts. Especially the soul-pacts sold well (he managed to find an image of a NAKID Hasselhoff), and he soon died from overeating. The sudden lack of a devil resulted in...a hostile takeover of the world by 13 year old snotnose counterstrike kids ! The SvenCo-opers were forced to live in slavery and polish their guns. Many old regulars were killed.
Untill one day the SvenCo-op uprising began to overtrow and KILL ALL THOSE FREAKING COUNTERSTRIKE KIDS ! The SvenCo-opers (co-op-ed by Tor and Chubby) slaughtered massive loads of the little snotnoses and even though they were screaming "hx! u lm3x00rz!" they all died in cold blood. Victory was with the SvenCo-op Rebels ! They marched to the CS-Kiddy HQ and kicked in the door. There they...betrayed the Sven Co-op loyalty and gave themselves over...and joined the Elite Council of Counter-Strikers. Together they joined powers with Lord Sauron and forged the one AWP to rule them all. They tyrranised the world which resulted in a large increase of suicides throughout the world. This lead to a shortage of socks which was the sharpest thing people were allowed to buy and could afford. This lead to...people buying more beegees albums and playing them on perpetual loops so their brains would melt out their ears. The admin teleported slippery into a dark room. With the admin's new ultr L33T /\/e\/\/ rdi0 /\/\0D, he spawned 20 radios and all of them played christmas carols. He started crying, and then all the radios exploded, causing everyone in the counter strike community to die. So now, we go back to the ruling sven co-op mod. And their new leader...Adolf Hitler...who commited suicide in 1945, but still was very good at HL Coding. He teamed up with Sniper to code all HL2 features into Svenco-op 3.5 and the world was rocked. SvenCo-op became the best seller of the century and got 99 in PC Gamer Reviews. All team members became millionaires because of the high sales and..they didn't have to work on anything ever again. Developement of SC was halted and this created a world-wide depression which lead to shortage of electrified sledge hammers which had recently become a very popular and stylish suicide weapon. Some people decided to take up the fight and demanded that production of Svencoop should be restarted. The leader of the revolution was the recently deposed Lord Sauron. This new leader died in the battle of Morh4xdor where the one AWP to rule them all was taken by a traitor. Richard Boderman, who then killed himself when he couldn't control the damage the AWP did. 1349876 years later. His sucesor of the Sven co-op leadership throne, who was...Adolf Hitler...who coded in secret swastikas in the art of svencoop2...but decided not to show them in the end and hid them...but some snotty nosed no life h4x0r found it and released a pach wich allowd all the little kiddies to see swastikas...and then their mommies all had a cry to the government...whop went and banned adolf from life...and so we sven players were once again deprived of a leader and sven2, then god said "I must bring more nazi-germany related things to this story!" and that he did. Right at that moment "SS-Pz.Aufkl.Abt.11 'Nordland'" spawned infront the Sven coop HQ awaiting orders...and they were ordered to commit suicide.
And with that mass suicide ended the age of Nazi's in the SvenCo-op and Chubby World, never to rear it's ugly head again. Now everyone was happy again... well.. almost.. they first had to kill all tree-hugging hippies. So they went out to the woods were normally the hippies would look for berries to eat and..pot to smoke. But after they found the pot they found a little squrrill that told them to...go screw themselves, cause this was his 'hood! So they decided to...wear fursuits. This decision was not endorsed by the majority, until Jesus fell out of the sky and said "Sounds hot". Jesus' agreement with this radical fursuit idea sparked a revolution in the way...of communism...which caused Adolf Hitler to raise from his grave, and post some of his artwork on Ebay (not kiddin, it's there). The unfortunete buyer soon found that the art was hexed. When he unpacked the art, it...was communism...badly disguised as modern art. But the buyer realised he now had pure communism, painted by Hitler onto canvas, and that he could...trade it in for as many magic beans as he could stick...up his...Stallin of furry communism...Witch is a word i dont know. But...caveman Bob...decided to...suck...on a big yellow lollipop. And so he did. Untill...hezus put his hand into a big bowl of sugar. He then...died...As we would all do if we put a hand down this bowl of sugar. Because this sugar was poisoned! This sugar was refined from a candy facility in the northern parts of the moon, where small yellow bite-sized cheese cakes planned to take over the world. And therefore, they...had to kill Hezus. He was the last thing standing between them and ruling the world. Now a new age started on planet Earth that would be the 4th Reich for another 1000 years. In the future history books would be refer to this as "The Ages of Cheese".
But then...communism...appeared out of a myserious black hole, and convinced everyone that we all are equal humans. Now, for a bite-sized piece of cheesecake who wants to obliterate humanity, being called a human is a bad thing. So, to destroy humanity, every cheesecake killed themselves. Now that the earth was bare (unless you count all the cheese)...and void...except for the great mounds of female pubic hair that flowered promiscuously in the light and breezy summer wind. Just then a roflcopter went flying overhead...and exploded...forming the word "LOL" to appear in the sky, killing everyone who...died...when they said...stuff...about Nomble, who...said...stuff...about...dicks, and their relative size compared to his own. He foud that mosts other penises...died...from not being a Nomble Dick (TM).
This would lead to more and more men becomming females, which would lead to more and more hair floating arround in the wind. This caused the general suddenly appeared population to...go buy Dan Brown novels..in order to...read the novels...or to use as toilet paper. This action made the whole Toilet Seat Community cry out in protest, as this was certainly an act of hate and vengence agenst all toilet seats. And so the great Toilet Rebellion began. This lead to...the great do it yourself wars which lastest years or possibly minutes...of dancing and yodeling music. Then wading around in sweage while brandishing a toilet brush. That make people have a case of. while on the slide sniper found...communism...and...fascism...or else...everyone would die in a large fireball. But that never happend and so Chubby lived happy after after in the bright sunny Chubbyland to eat little flies for the rest of eternity.
The End.