Same Disclaimers Apply. A/N: So I've just decided Reviews are the greatest
thing in the world. And I happen to be addicted. Sorry this took a while,
life keeps interfering. The song is called Mad Season and belongs to
Matchbox 20. Hope You Like It!!!
JACK BRISTOW'S HOME - L.A.
Jack was trained for stressful and shocking situations. His emotional responses shut down in favor of his rational, analytical brain. His first thought was to deny the possibility of Irina being pregnant altogether. The sonogram picture could have been faked easily enough and he didn't consider it beneath Irina to use such petty tactics.
The state of complete denial lasted only a short while, when the investigator in him stepped in to present the counter view. Irina and he had slept together almost four month before in Panama and any form of birth control had been the furthest thing from either of their minds. Jack realized now that he had assumed Irina was no longer able to conceive.
That thought struck him with surprising force. Irina may not be pregnant because in all likelihood she was no longer able to be. Jack realized he had to get his hands on Irina's medical report from her stay in the CIA before he could make any conclusions. But a sensation nagged at him that Irina was not lying about her condition, worrying Jack even more.
Despite fatigue creeping into his limbs, Jack picked up his keys and redressed in his suit to head back to the office. During the drive anger began to make its way into Jack thoughts. Anger at Irina for a number of things he wasn't able to pin down, anger at himself for sleeping with her in the first place and for childishly not using protection.
Paying no attention to the agents he passed, Jack made his way to his office and shut the door. The computer took a few moments to retrieve the information on Irina which left Jack to calm his breathing and grind his teeth. Finally the computer's beep signaled the information was available.
Scanning the report for the necessary passage, further details on Irina's health caught Jack's eye. He had never review her medical form before, making himself believe that her health meant nothing to him. Jack read the doctor's notes on the small scars that adorned Irina's body from head to toe. The scars appeared to be small incisions made to the major pressure points on the body. When questioned, the doctor reported that the patient had become cold and distant which had greatly differed from her sarcastic and dark comments during the earlier portions of the exam.
Jack was not able to recall any such marks on Irina's body when it had been bared to him in Panama are even the snippets of flesh he had viewed in India. However, he did have to admit to being in a hazy frame of mind during both those encounters.
Continual notes had been made and most made reference to Irina's menstruation. Jack sighed heavily when he saw the doctor's comments. Irina had sporadic and short menstruation cycles likely due to her lack of body fat but had not yet shown sighs of menopause despite her age. With a sinking feeling Jack closed down the computer and sat silently in his chair.
He was still no further in understanding what Irina wanted from him, or even if she was telling the truth but it was now a blatant possibility. Jack stayed seated for a while longer, not sure if he was going to be able to stand on shaky legs. The reality began to set in that he could have another child in a few months time.
Shaking his head of that thought, Jack forced himself to stand. Fate was not twisted enough to allow for Irina Derevko to carry another of his children, when he wanted nothing more than to see her dead. Jack made up his mind that nothing Irina said was true and her current claim was not to be excluded.
He left the office feeling better and more determined than when he had entered. He would find Irina and ensure she could no longer harm he or Sydney and IF she carried a child, that was obviously not his, it would be given to someone who would love it and care for it the way she never could.
SANTA BARBRA- VILLA
Sydney stood alone on the villa's balcony with her eyes closed. She was soaking up the heat of the sun and hoping they would burn away the demons she carried. The subtle contentment of five months before had been ripped from her so suddenly that she was left feeling numb.
For a moment in time she was happy; her mother was cooperating with the CIA and they had contact, Francie and Will were together and stable, Sloane was running out of time and she and Vaughn had finally been able to drop the façade and begin to form a relationship then it all stopped. Her mother was gone, Will had almost died, and Francie was no more.
"You interested in a late lunch?" Vaughn asked from the doorway.
Sydney turned and smiled at him. "Sure, if you feel like it." Then turned back around.
"Syd, we can go back to L.A. if it'll make you feel better." Vaughn's forehead creased in concern.
Sydney turned fully to face him and looked apologetic. "I'm sorry Vaughn, we only just got here and already my mind is wandering. It isn't fair to you or to myself. I do want to be here and I'm not ready to leave no matter how many times you may have to call my name to get my attention."
Vaughn moved closer to her and snagged her hand gently. "I have nothing to complain about. Just having you here with me is enough to make me happy. You've been bombarded by the negative side of life a few too many times lately and this weekend is supposed to make up for at least some of that. We can spend it doing what ever you want: whether it be at the beach, shopping, sleeping, reading or other more enjoyable pastimes; it is your decision." Vaughn smiled reassuringly.
"I think I'd like to hear your detailed description of 'more enjoyable pastimes' before deciding what I'd like to invest my time doing this weekend." Sydney slid flush with him.
"Oh, you'll like it trust me. There is no better investment to be made." He smiled as he wrapped his arms around her waist.
"I change my mind; a demonstration is going to be necessary." Any further conversation was covered by a searing kiss. The two skillfully made their way into the main part of the villa and away from any prying eyes outside.
JACK'S HOME - L.A.
The incessant ringing of the phone woke Jack from an uncomfortable sleep on the couch. He took note of the scotch still residing in the bottle and realized his attempt to drink himself into oblivion had been thwarted by his own body's fatigue.
The clock on the wall in front of him shone eleven-eleven in bright orange numbers. The phone continued to ring causing Jack to grope for it in the dark living room.
"What?" He answered harshly into the phone.
"Did you find what you were looking for Jack?" The voice answered back.
"What are you taking about?" He returned on full alert.
"The medical files." Was all he received in return.
"I don't have time for your games Irina." Jack sat up straight on the couch and stared longingly at the scotch. "How did you know I would look there?" Jack briefly toyed with the idea that she altered the files but that would have been impossible as only three people knew where to find them.
"Because you're very thorough Jack and you would first try to eliminate the most obvious possibility. But I'm sure all your search left you with were more questions." Irina said in an even tone.
"And you're going to answer them?" Jack said bitterly.
"I'm not lying about this Jack, I wouldn't."
"Well now that I have your word I suppose I should be satisfied." He said sarcastically. "What I don't understand is that if you are indeed telling the truth, why bother telling me. Unless you simply want to use this against me, or possibly lord it over me as a means to get what you want." Jack's voice rose, infused with hatred.
"I know what it's like not to be able to see your child grow up and I didn't want you to go through the same pain such a feeling caused me." Irina's tone was cautious but sincere.
Jack scoffed at her words. "You left Irina, it was your choice whether you got to be a part of Sydney's life or not and you chose not. So don't compare situations."
"The fact is Jack, that I can't do this on my own. I can't stay hidden forever and when Sloane does find me he won't hesitate to hurt our child to get to either of us. It would be the ultimate prize for him Jack; he would be able to garner his revenge on the two people who betrayed him. I know you don't want to hear this but I did what I had to in order to protect you and Sydney, now I'm coming to you in return." Irina sounded urgent but Jack paid it no heed.
"How many men did you have to sleep with before you got pregnant Irina?" Jack spit out. "I suppose after our marriage prostitution for a worthy cause comes naturally to you, so I'm sure it was no problem to ensure you met your goal." Jack began grinding his teeth while seething, just waiting for Irina's response.
To his surprise the line remained silent. He could hear Irina's measured breaths but she didn't utter a word. Jack furrowed his brow in confusion; she should have been slinging insults back at him but instead she gave nothing.
"I need you now Jack." Her answering words were quiet and shaky, nothing like the strength Irina Derevko embodied.
"You must think me the biggest fool you've encountered. I'm not falling into another of your traps Irina. You handle your own life; they were your decisions that took you there." Jack hung up the phone with fury. He dropped his head in his hands and began replaying the conversation over through his mind, nothing made sense. Irina was changing the game and he didn't know how to change with it.
ST. PETERSBURG, RUSSIA
Irina dropped the phone beside her on the table after listening to the dial tone for a short while. She did nothing to wipe the tears Jack's comments had forced from her eyes for she was alone in the house.
Fear had been something Irina had faced very few times during her life but the feeling seemed to be encasing her lately. She knew she wouldn't be able to keep herself or the baby safe for long and when Sloane found her she would have no defense.
Her hands drifted to her lower abdomen where they softly ran over the small lump beginning to form. A decision had been made when she had heard the heartbeat for the first time, no matter what, Irina would make sure the baby was alive and taken care of. Nothing would stop her from protecting her child as she had tried to do for Sydney so many times before.
Irina had underestimated the degree of hatred Jack had for her. She knew he had implanted the passive transmitter after they had made love in Panama but she had held onto hope that he still cared for her and had more than his job in mind when he was with her. With a jolt of clarity she realized she still hoped he cared for her and even loved her, which meant she would have to work harder to get him back.
JACK BRISTOW'S HOME - MONDAY (long weekend)
Each morning the sun seemed to immerge earlier which roused Jack from his comfortable bed. He got up and worked through his morning routine, finally making it to the kitchen for breakfast. On the kitchen table sat a large bouquet of lilies and a parcel. Immediately Jack looked around the room for signs of an intruder but found none. He was furious with himself for not hearing the person enter the house and realized he could have easily been killed.
There was no note this time but Jack understood the significance of the lilies. He had given Irina lilies every day for a month after finding out she was pregnant with Sydney. He likely would have continued if Irina had not insisted he stop as they were saving money for the baby's arrival.
The parcel was yet another CD and Jack found himself debating whether to play it or not. He didn't understand what Irina was trying to gain from sending him music but once again curiosity won out and he placed the disk in the stereo.
I feel stupid - but I know it won't last for long
I've been guessing - I coulda been guessing wrong
You don't know me now
I kinda thought that you should somehow
Does that whole mad season got you down
I feel stupid but it's something that comes and goes
I've been changin' - think its funny how no one knows
We don't talk about - the little things that we do without
When that whole mad season comes around
So why ya gotta stand there
Looking like the answer now
It seems to me - you'd come around
I need you now
Do you think you can cope
You figured me out - I'm lost and I'm hopeless
Bleeding and broken - though I've never spoken
I come undone - in this mad season
I feel stupid - but I think I've been catchin' on
I feel ugly but I know I still turn you on
You've grown colder now, torn apart, angry, turned around
Will that whole made season knock you down
So why you gotta stand there
Are you help me out
You need to be together now - I need you now
Now I'm crying - isn't that what you want
I'm trying to live my life on my own
But I won't
At times - I do believe I am strong
So someone tell me why, why, why
Do I feel stupid now
And I come undone
Jack took the CD out of the stereo and placed it with the other two, intending on taking them to the guys in tech the next day and trying not to think of the words Irina had chosen this time.
Please Review (-:
JACK BRISTOW'S HOME - L.A.
Jack was trained for stressful and shocking situations. His emotional responses shut down in favor of his rational, analytical brain. His first thought was to deny the possibility of Irina being pregnant altogether. The sonogram picture could have been faked easily enough and he didn't consider it beneath Irina to use such petty tactics.
The state of complete denial lasted only a short while, when the investigator in him stepped in to present the counter view. Irina and he had slept together almost four month before in Panama and any form of birth control had been the furthest thing from either of their minds. Jack realized now that he had assumed Irina was no longer able to conceive.
That thought struck him with surprising force. Irina may not be pregnant because in all likelihood she was no longer able to be. Jack realized he had to get his hands on Irina's medical report from her stay in the CIA before he could make any conclusions. But a sensation nagged at him that Irina was not lying about her condition, worrying Jack even more.
Despite fatigue creeping into his limbs, Jack picked up his keys and redressed in his suit to head back to the office. During the drive anger began to make its way into Jack thoughts. Anger at Irina for a number of things he wasn't able to pin down, anger at himself for sleeping with her in the first place and for childishly not using protection.
Paying no attention to the agents he passed, Jack made his way to his office and shut the door. The computer took a few moments to retrieve the information on Irina which left Jack to calm his breathing and grind his teeth. Finally the computer's beep signaled the information was available.
Scanning the report for the necessary passage, further details on Irina's health caught Jack's eye. He had never review her medical form before, making himself believe that her health meant nothing to him. Jack read the doctor's notes on the small scars that adorned Irina's body from head to toe. The scars appeared to be small incisions made to the major pressure points on the body. When questioned, the doctor reported that the patient had become cold and distant which had greatly differed from her sarcastic and dark comments during the earlier portions of the exam.
Jack was not able to recall any such marks on Irina's body when it had been bared to him in Panama are even the snippets of flesh he had viewed in India. However, he did have to admit to being in a hazy frame of mind during both those encounters.
Continual notes had been made and most made reference to Irina's menstruation. Jack sighed heavily when he saw the doctor's comments. Irina had sporadic and short menstruation cycles likely due to her lack of body fat but had not yet shown sighs of menopause despite her age. With a sinking feeling Jack closed down the computer and sat silently in his chair.
He was still no further in understanding what Irina wanted from him, or even if she was telling the truth but it was now a blatant possibility. Jack stayed seated for a while longer, not sure if he was going to be able to stand on shaky legs. The reality began to set in that he could have another child in a few months time.
Shaking his head of that thought, Jack forced himself to stand. Fate was not twisted enough to allow for Irina Derevko to carry another of his children, when he wanted nothing more than to see her dead. Jack made up his mind that nothing Irina said was true and her current claim was not to be excluded.
He left the office feeling better and more determined than when he had entered. He would find Irina and ensure she could no longer harm he or Sydney and IF she carried a child, that was obviously not his, it would be given to someone who would love it and care for it the way she never could.
SANTA BARBRA- VILLA
Sydney stood alone on the villa's balcony with her eyes closed. She was soaking up the heat of the sun and hoping they would burn away the demons she carried. The subtle contentment of five months before had been ripped from her so suddenly that she was left feeling numb.
For a moment in time she was happy; her mother was cooperating with the CIA and they had contact, Francie and Will were together and stable, Sloane was running out of time and she and Vaughn had finally been able to drop the façade and begin to form a relationship then it all stopped. Her mother was gone, Will had almost died, and Francie was no more.
"You interested in a late lunch?" Vaughn asked from the doorway.
Sydney turned and smiled at him. "Sure, if you feel like it." Then turned back around.
"Syd, we can go back to L.A. if it'll make you feel better." Vaughn's forehead creased in concern.
Sydney turned fully to face him and looked apologetic. "I'm sorry Vaughn, we only just got here and already my mind is wandering. It isn't fair to you or to myself. I do want to be here and I'm not ready to leave no matter how many times you may have to call my name to get my attention."
Vaughn moved closer to her and snagged her hand gently. "I have nothing to complain about. Just having you here with me is enough to make me happy. You've been bombarded by the negative side of life a few too many times lately and this weekend is supposed to make up for at least some of that. We can spend it doing what ever you want: whether it be at the beach, shopping, sleeping, reading or other more enjoyable pastimes; it is your decision." Vaughn smiled reassuringly.
"I think I'd like to hear your detailed description of 'more enjoyable pastimes' before deciding what I'd like to invest my time doing this weekend." Sydney slid flush with him.
"Oh, you'll like it trust me. There is no better investment to be made." He smiled as he wrapped his arms around her waist.
"I change my mind; a demonstration is going to be necessary." Any further conversation was covered by a searing kiss. The two skillfully made their way into the main part of the villa and away from any prying eyes outside.
JACK'S HOME - L.A.
The incessant ringing of the phone woke Jack from an uncomfortable sleep on the couch. He took note of the scotch still residing in the bottle and realized his attempt to drink himself into oblivion had been thwarted by his own body's fatigue.
The clock on the wall in front of him shone eleven-eleven in bright orange numbers. The phone continued to ring causing Jack to grope for it in the dark living room.
"What?" He answered harshly into the phone.
"Did you find what you were looking for Jack?" The voice answered back.
"What are you taking about?" He returned on full alert.
"The medical files." Was all he received in return.
"I don't have time for your games Irina." Jack sat up straight on the couch and stared longingly at the scotch. "How did you know I would look there?" Jack briefly toyed with the idea that she altered the files but that would have been impossible as only three people knew where to find them.
"Because you're very thorough Jack and you would first try to eliminate the most obvious possibility. But I'm sure all your search left you with were more questions." Irina said in an even tone.
"And you're going to answer them?" Jack said bitterly.
"I'm not lying about this Jack, I wouldn't."
"Well now that I have your word I suppose I should be satisfied." He said sarcastically. "What I don't understand is that if you are indeed telling the truth, why bother telling me. Unless you simply want to use this against me, or possibly lord it over me as a means to get what you want." Jack's voice rose, infused with hatred.
"I know what it's like not to be able to see your child grow up and I didn't want you to go through the same pain such a feeling caused me." Irina's tone was cautious but sincere.
Jack scoffed at her words. "You left Irina, it was your choice whether you got to be a part of Sydney's life or not and you chose not. So don't compare situations."
"The fact is Jack, that I can't do this on my own. I can't stay hidden forever and when Sloane does find me he won't hesitate to hurt our child to get to either of us. It would be the ultimate prize for him Jack; he would be able to garner his revenge on the two people who betrayed him. I know you don't want to hear this but I did what I had to in order to protect you and Sydney, now I'm coming to you in return." Irina sounded urgent but Jack paid it no heed.
"How many men did you have to sleep with before you got pregnant Irina?" Jack spit out. "I suppose after our marriage prostitution for a worthy cause comes naturally to you, so I'm sure it was no problem to ensure you met your goal." Jack began grinding his teeth while seething, just waiting for Irina's response.
To his surprise the line remained silent. He could hear Irina's measured breaths but she didn't utter a word. Jack furrowed his brow in confusion; she should have been slinging insults back at him but instead she gave nothing.
"I need you now Jack." Her answering words were quiet and shaky, nothing like the strength Irina Derevko embodied.
"You must think me the biggest fool you've encountered. I'm not falling into another of your traps Irina. You handle your own life; they were your decisions that took you there." Jack hung up the phone with fury. He dropped his head in his hands and began replaying the conversation over through his mind, nothing made sense. Irina was changing the game and he didn't know how to change with it.
ST. PETERSBURG, RUSSIA
Irina dropped the phone beside her on the table after listening to the dial tone for a short while. She did nothing to wipe the tears Jack's comments had forced from her eyes for she was alone in the house.
Fear had been something Irina had faced very few times during her life but the feeling seemed to be encasing her lately. She knew she wouldn't be able to keep herself or the baby safe for long and when Sloane found her she would have no defense.
Her hands drifted to her lower abdomen where they softly ran over the small lump beginning to form. A decision had been made when she had heard the heartbeat for the first time, no matter what, Irina would make sure the baby was alive and taken care of. Nothing would stop her from protecting her child as she had tried to do for Sydney so many times before.
Irina had underestimated the degree of hatred Jack had for her. She knew he had implanted the passive transmitter after they had made love in Panama but she had held onto hope that he still cared for her and had more than his job in mind when he was with her. With a jolt of clarity she realized she still hoped he cared for her and even loved her, which meant she would have to work harder to get him back.
JACK BRISTOW'S HOME - MONDAY (long weekend)
Each morning the sun seemed to immerge earlier which roused Jack from his comfortable bed. He got up and worked through his morning routine, finally making it to the kitchen for breakfast. On the kitchen table sat a large bouquet of lilies and a parcel. Immediately Jack looked around the room for signs of an intruder but found none. He was furious with himself for not hearing the person enter the house and realized he could have easily been killed.
There was no note this time but Jack understood the significance of the lilies. He had given Irina lilies every day for a month after finding out she was pregnant with Sydney. He likely would have continued if Irina had not insisted he stop as they were saving money for the baby's arrival.
The parcel was yet another CD and Jack found himself debating whether to play it or not. He didn't understand what Irina was trying to gain from sending him music but once again curiosity won out and he placed the disk in the stereo.
I feel stupid - but I know it won't last for long
I've been guessing - I coulda been guessing wrong
You don't know me now
I kinda thought that you should somehow
Does that whole mad season got you down
I feel stupid but it's something that comes and goes
I've been changin' - think its funny how no one knows
We don't talk about - the little things that we do without
When that whole mad season comes around
So why ya gotta stand there
Looking like the answer now
It seems to me - you'd come around
I need you now
Do you think you can cope
You figured me out - I'm lost and I'm hopeless
Bleeding and broken - though I've never spoken
I come undone - in this mad season
I feel stupid - but I think I've been catchin' on
I feel ugly but I know I still turn you on
You've grown colder now, torn apart, angry, turned around
Will that whole made season knock you down
So why you gotta stand there
Are you help me out
You need to be together now - I need you now
Now I'm crying - isn't that what you want
I'm trying to live my life on my own
But I won't
At times - I do believe I am strong
So someone tell me why, why, why
Do I feel stupid now
And I come undone
Jack took the CD out of the stereo and placed it with the other two, intending on taking them to the guys in tech the next day and trying not to think of the words Irina had chosen this time.
Please Review (-: