CHAPTER 15: We'll Play Wizard Chess This Christmas

It was Boxing Day and snow was whizzing around the grounds like a million snitches flying from their seekers, or so Harry had written in his poem 'Ode to the Snow'. He was feeling particularly happy this morning, as the morning's post had brought him plenty of hate mail from Hermione.

'Thank fuck, she hates me at last!' he had shouted in the Great Hall. He shouted it so loud that Professor Dumbledore flew into the Hall on an old broomstick and told Harry off for waking him up.

'I don't teach here to be rudely awoken by insignificant imbeciles like you. I also don't teach here to be insulted by having a student swear so loudly that everyone within in a mile radias can hear him. It is insulting to my appearance I have in the Wizarding world and rude as it is only nine thirty in the morning!' he shouted. He spent about half an hour lecturing Harry on why not to swear in the Hogwarts Castle and then said: 'Now, I don't want to end Christmas on a bad note, so just forget everything I just said.' And with that, he flew away.

Harry and Ron returned to the Gryffindor common room to find the fat lady in the portrait singing at the top of her lungs.

'NOOOO!' screamed Ron.

'Oh, shut up,' the fat lady said after being rudely interrupted. 'Go in. And leave me alone.'

Harry and Ron entered the common room, where only they were present. Everyone else seemed to have gone home for Christmas.

'I thought Ginny stayed,' said Harry.

'She did! She was at breakfast,' said Ron.

'Was she?'

'Yeah, but she was sat with Malfoy, dick head.'

'Why was she sat with him?'

'How do I bloody know!'

'Sorry, I just wondered. It's a bit strange, though. Ginny sat with Malfoy. I didn't think she like him.'

'She doesn't. She hates him.'

'Well, then why was she sat with him?'

'I DON'T KNOW!'

Harry sat down on a chair in the centre circle of the common room. Ron sat opposite him.

'Do you wanna game of Wizard Chess?' he asked.

'Yeah, sure!' said Harry.

Ron got out his Wizard Chess board and placed it on the table between them.

It was five minutes into the game and Harry was loosing spectacularly. Ron had taken out most of his pieces and the only bit of china Harry had was what had been flung at him when Ron's Bishop attacked one of his pawns. It was now Harry's turn, and he could see no hope. He had a knight and a pawn left.

'Hmmmmm……' he said. 'Knight to… Ron's face!'

Harry's knight sprung into action and leapt onto Ron's face to start attacking it.

'Ha ha! I beat you!' Harry said.

'Hey, what's that?'

A laptop shaped wrapped gift had just appeared on top of the Wizard Chess board. Ron had just managed to pull Harry's knight out of his nose when he saw what was going on.

'Dunno, read the label.'

Harry did:

To Harry,

Merry Christmas and a happy new birfdee

Love from Louise "the Cheeze".

PS: I want to have your babies

'Awww…' said Harry. 'She wants to have my babies!'

'She bought you a present, Harry.'

'Oh yeah. I wonder what it is…'

The laptop shaped present was making a humming noise and seemed to have a light on near the bottom of the monitor shaped bit. Harry unwrapped the present, still having no idea what it could be, and revealed, lo and behold, a laptop.

'WOW!' exclaimed Ron. 'It's one of those!'

'It's a laptop!'

'A what, what?'

'A laptop! It's a small computer.'

'A what, what?'

'You can do work on it, put typing here (he demonstrated typing) and then it will come up on here (he pointed to the screen) and then you can save it, print it out and you don't have to do any writing!'

'WOW!'

'Oh, rad, it has MSN on it!'

'What, what?'

'It's this thing that lets you talk to people online! You type words to them, and they type some back…' Harry explained! 'I need to get an email address.'

He signed onto the laptop and went to get an email address. He tried and but they were all taken. In the end, he stuck with had just entered this is when Ron pointed out that Professor Lupin was no longer teaching at Hogwarts. To this, Harry said:

'Arse.'

After Harry had got his MSN account, Ron asked if he could have one.

'Can I have an email address?' he said.

'Yeah, sure. There you go.' Harry got up and Ron sat down at Harry's laptop (which was on a table, by the way).

Ron tried and but they were all taken.

Ron was getting really stuck for ideas now, and just at that moment, Ginny walked into the common room. Harry looked up at her hopefully. Ever since they had broken up he'd been heartbroken. He found himself dreaming of her every night, and every now and then Louise "the Cheeze" popped in. Ginny looked at Harry and stopped but carried on walking up the stairs. Harry was about to talk when Draco Malfoy followed Ginny into the common room and towards the stairs. He saw that Ron was trying to come up with an email address, and said:

'Why don't you use Ha ha ha ha ha!'

'That was a very pantomime cackle, Malfoy,' Harry said, coolly.

'Ohhh, no it wasn't!' declared Draco, and with that, he followed Ginny to the girls dormitory.

'Ron entered into the box, and it was available.

'Yay!' said Ron.