A/N Sorry this has taken such a long time to update. It's been an incredibly busy couple of weeks for me, so I just haven't had the time to write or edit this chapter. Thanks to my beta Linds as always for all her hard work, and for keeping me on my toes over the summer! Also thanks to the lovely people who reviewed. I hope this chapter was worth the wait, and I will try to get the next one up soon, though no promises! P.S. I don't own these characters sigh
Chapter 7
The meeting had not been an easy one for Severus. It hurt him greatly to see any of his charges in such obvious distress and it was plain from the moment he entered the room that what he had done was eating away at the young Malfoy. Draco's pale and agitated form had shown his apprehension in its very countenance as he turned to see who had entered, and the look of fear that crossed his face when Severus stepped inside cut the Head of House to the quick. His reaction only served to reaffirm what he had anticipated; that he was going to have to tread exceptionally carefully. Closing the door gently behind him, he had approached the room's inhabitant and sat on the chair positioned close to the bed.
"None of this is your fault Draco. I know what you're going through, believe me." Draco turned to him with a strange look on his face. "Did you honestly think you were the only person who has suffered at the hands of your father? I had hoped that you would never see that side of him, but I suppose that was somewhat naïve.." That was badly worded, but how did one find the right words in a situation like this? He heard a funny gasp from the bed beside him, and saw the tears running down Draco's face. This was horribly awkward, and for some reason he struggled to pinpoint Severus didn't feel he could comfort the boy in the same way as he had Hermione. He patted him on the shoulder and handed him a wad of tissues from the box on the bedside table.
"Sorry professor," Draco mumbled when he had calmed himself a little. He looked straight at Severus. "I really didn't have a choice. Did I?" The first was a statement rushed and uncertain; the second an almost pleading request for reassurance. Severus took him by the shoulders and looked him in the eye. "If you hadn't done this, it would have been worse for everyone. You know that and I know that. This is hard for you I know, but I don't see what you could have done. However, I realise that that probably won't help you live with this. There are people you can talk to you know." He had never been good at this sort of thing. He was miserably out of his depth, but he knew he had to talk to the boy as he was the only one with any idea of what he was going through. Despite this however, what he wanted now was some of the natural instincts that certainly appeared to guide his Gryffindor counterpart when she comforted a student. Minerva was just so much better at this sort of thing even when the stakes were not so high; she like Albus just seemed to have the right words. Draco choked as he tried to say something, and he came out of his reverie with a start.
"I couldn't say, I mean, how do you explain that to someone? They have no idea … why should I tell someone else? They'll think I'm evil."
"Draco, no one thinks you're evil for what you did."
" Hermione does," he said emphatically. I … I never wanted to hurt her you know. I don't want to be part of this, to hurt people, and I never, ever wanted to hurt her. And… and he made me do it."
"I know Draco. Hermione is still having trouble coming to terms with what you did, but she does not hate you. Listen to me Draco." He waited until the young boy's eyes met his own before continuing. "She does not hate you. Do you understand that? I told her the circumstances in which you were placed, and she doesn't hate you. She is still very shocked, it's true, but she will get over this, get past it. We're all going to help Hermione, and we're going to help you as well." . Severus knew how fundamentally important it was that he managed to get Draco to understand and accept that he was not being blamed for what had happened. Knew the consequences if he was not successful. He couldn't bear it if he went over to the dark. He sensed that this was a turning point for the boy, and he needed to know that Severus was there for him, that he understood, and that he would help him resist his father, and the allure of You-Know-Who, and the power that he offered. He would not see Draco make the same mistakes he had; he would find a way to help the boy if he could.
Minerva joined them at this juncture and smiling briefly at Draco, and sat down on the other side of the bed. "How are you Draco? Is everything alright here?" She could see that the discussion had been a trying one for both Slytherins, and sought for a way to lighten the mood. She smoothed the covers of his bed, and brushed a stray hair from his face. Draco leaned into her touch, despite its brevity, wanting the security of her arms to protect him, although she knew he would never be able to bring himself to say so. She had guessed that Severus might find this hard, and was glad she had decided to look in on her way past the hospital wing. It was important that Severus tried to talk to Draco, important that he knew that he was not to blame, but Severus, though he tried his best, was not the person one automatically turned to in a moment of crisis. It was clear, to her at least, that this situation was too close to home for Severus to be able to find the emotional detachment he needed to be able to help Draco properly. Yes, Severus and Draco needed to talk, but it couldn't hurt if she was there as well.
"How … how's Hermione?" He couldn't hide the way his voice cracked as he asked the question. Minerva found his hand, and squeezed it.
"She's better." She squeezed his hand tighter. "Draco, she doesn't blame you for any of this." She saw a tear creep down his cheek, followed by another one. She pulled him close, comforting him. He held her tightly as she rocked him gently back and forth, all the time talking to him quietly. Severus sat in his chair, looking at the floor. He remembered how reassuring that felt, to be held by Minerva, especially after what Draco must have gone through. He stared at the floor, trying to block out the memories of similar scenes, and found himself on the verge of tears. He looked up, and she was studying him with a look of concern on her face. As the corner of her mouth twitched upwards slightly, her eyes encouraging him, and he felt a little better.
When Draco's sobs had slowed and stopped, she conjured a mug of hot chocolate, and gave it to him.
"Better?" she asked, smoothing his hair.
"Thank you." He looked at her, and she slid her arm round his shoulder, not relinquishing her grip for a second.
"Any time, Draco. I mean that. We're here for you as much as we're here for Hermione. Any time you need me or Professor Snape, or Professor Dumbledore, we're here for you. I want you to remember that." She was serious, and she held him tight whilst she said her piece. "Now, if you've finished that chocolate, I would suggest you sleep a while."
"When am I going back to the school?" he asked her nervously.
"Quite soon I think."
"I don't think I can." He voiced the fear that had been eating away at him. Minerva looked at him. "Draco, nobody knows what went on between you and Miss Granger." She sighed. "I know this is hard for you to believe, but none of the other students are going to know what's happened."
"But I've not been there, and surely they'll know what happened to Hermione. They're not stupid. I bet Potter is having a field day telling everyone how evil I am."
"So far, nobody has connected your illness with Hermione's absence, and I suspect that is how it will stay. Your feelings for Miss Granger aren't exactly a secret you know. Any student who does make the connection will be gently redirected. However, we'll cross that bridge together if and when we need to. Now sleep, Draco. Forget all this until the morning." She took the mug from his hands, and made him comfortable. When he was asleep, she and Severus left the room quietly.
"How did he seem to you?" she asked when they were outside.
"He's scared Min. I tried to tell him that he didn't need to be, but you know how I am with words. Sorry. It's not been a good week." He grinned ruefully, but he looked tired, and he was pale and drawn. He sat down on a nearby bed.
"You know I'm not good with feelings."
"Yes, but despite the image that you like to… have to project, you do still have them." She smiled briefly, and then looked at him, serious again. "I wish I could help you."
"I don't need your help, thank you." His response was icy, his face set, eyes masked.
"Severus," she chided softly.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to snap. I just don't want to think about what that … man…" Severus couldn't bring himself to say the name out loud, "that monster, has done to them. This is not their battle, it shouldn't involve them, and yet it does, and we can't stop it can we?"
"Severus, they're growing up, and we can't protect them from the real world, however much we'd like to. Hogwarts is not the haven it used to be, and until You-Know-Who is sorted out, it isn't going to be safe. Nowhere is safe Severus. I don't know what we could have done to prevent this happening, do you? I think we both know that Lucius Malfoy is more than a match for the defences of the school; he was more than capable of carrying out his threat. We both know that." She couldn't repress a shudder as the thought of what might have happened crossed her mind.
"You are not to blame for this Severus. Lucius Malfoy is a sick, twisted man who has no sense of decency even when it comes to his own son, but that certainly isn't your fault. Ok?"
"I should have spotted that there was something going on though… I mean I'm his head of house. How did I miss this?"
"For Merlin's sake, Severus, nobody's perfect! You can't stop every instance of child abuse that you come across, and sadly these people get very good at hiding what's going on. This is not your fault, and you're being ridiculous." They stood in silence for a while, and then Minerva roused herself. "Now, we should go and sleep. We have lessons tomorrow, and I think Draco and Hermione are going to need a lot of help to get back into school. We aren't any help to anyone if we're dead on our feet."
Severus knew she was right, but he needed to hear her say it. He got up and headed for the door of the hospital wing, holding it open for Minerva. " Thank you," he said quietly. "What would we do without you?"
"You'd manage just fine," she said softly with an enigmatic smile before heading in the direction of the headmaster's room. As Severus strode towards his room, he swore he would see Lucius Malfoy get his comeuppance if it killed him.
