(AN: Wow, I had no clue how fast this story was winding down! And how fast I'm getting updates up for it, ha ha! I'm on FIRE. Sizzle.

Oh yeah, and by the way, Lou, if you're still reading this… look, I give up… if you can't give me a constructive criticism telling me exactly WHAT it is about my story that you don't like so I can fix it, then please… STOP READING THIS STORY. Seriously. (slams head against desk) You're giving a nineteen-year-old gray hairs, and that's just wrong.

And to the rest of you… the usual thanks and next chapter stuff here! Chapter twelve ahoy!)

O.o.O

The next three days drug out insanely for all those involved.

Roy, Joanna, Booker, and Sheldon couldn't for the life of them remember what way they had traveled by the time they all met each other. The only vague clue they could remember was that they had left the farm traveling east, and thus they trekked back in a more or less westwardly direction. However, none of the landmarks they were passing looked familiar, causing Booker and Roy to hopefully suggest that they just give up.

But finally, on the third day, they encountered a rock that bore a striking resemblance to Jay Leno, and before Roy could stop himself, he let out a, "Hey! I remember passing that!"

"So do I!" cried Booker, also without thinking.

"Me too!" cried Sheldon.

"And so did I," said Joanna, smiling. "That means we must be close."

"Uh, I mean…" Roy desperately tried to find an alibi. "No, I'm wrong! I actually went by this rock that looked like Weird Al Yankovic—"

"Too late, fruit cake," said Joanna smugly.

"Thanks a lot," growled Booker.

"Hey, you think I want to go back?" cried Roy.

O.o.O

Those three days were equally tedious for the animals on the farm, too.

After about a day of moaning, Wade came to the rather shocking conclusion that he wasn't going to die. This revelation to him launched him into a "my life will be forever changed from my near death experience," and everyone—even Bo and Orson—couldn't put up with him anymore. So he was left to give his "changed duck" speak to Tonya, who only grudgingly put up with it because, after Orson had issued the cease-and-desist ultimatum, she had nothing better to do.

And Buck, just as Tonya had predicted, wasn't laying off. In fact, he seemed to think that he had finally intimidated Tonya to a state of helplessness and was strutting around the farm even more proudly than usual. The hens were all starting to get sick of him (finally!), but all they did was whisper behind his back. Orson was trying to ignore the whole thing, and thus locked himself in the barn at all hours to read his books. Lanolin grumbled constantly, but Bo kept calming her in an attempt to prevent an explosion. Which was probably a good thing.

But Tonya couldn't stand it anymore. Promise or no promise, Buck needed punishment and he needed it now. But Tonya was a flexible hen. Oh yes, the Tonya Treatment could entail many different forms of dishing out humiliation!

So on the fourth morning, Tonya went down to the pond and dipped her wing into it, knowing full well what lived in that certain pond—fresh water crabs.

After many an "Ouch!" Tonya finally had three nasty snapping crabs to stick in Buck's bed.

Sure, it was totally not her style, but desperate times called for desperate measures! And, oh boy, was Tonya desperate to get Buck out of her life.

Crabs in the bed… Wade should be safe from those, right?

With all the stealth that she could muster (which actually wasn't much, but hey, she tried), Tonya slipped into Roy's roost (which had been unceremoniously taken over by Buck) and slipped the crabs underneath the straw and hay lining the "bed". And, just as sneakily, she crept out of the roost and, as innocent-looking as possible, sat down and plucked a blade of grass, pealing it into pieces.

That really hadn't helped her feel better. Despite her fondness for a well-laid-out prank, Tonya was more of an instant gratification seeker, and having to wait until Buck hit the sack late at night… actually, he might not even go in there that night anyway. He was lately spending most of his nights in the henhouse, doing heaven knows what. Actually, heaven really had nothing to do with it. Tonya and her siblings had taken to sleeping outside.

What boiled Tonya's blood the most is that she had caught Buck throwing suggestive glances at her sisters, who, like Tonya herself, were now sporting just as many white feathers as yellow. Buck was probably even having sick lusty thoughts of Tonya herself, despite their hatred for each other. Tonya wouldn't hold it against him. Which wasn't to say that she liked it. Actually, the thought of being Buck's sexual plaything gave Tonya an honest-to-goodness vomit reflex… and she wouldn't wish that atrocity on any of her sisters, either!

"A couple of lousy crabs isn't going to send him away," moaned Tonya to herself, absentmindedly ripping the blade of grass to shreds. "I can't do this on my own. I need Mom and Roy back…"

O.o.O

Tonya was about to get her wish.

"I never knew the farm looked this bright!" marveled Sheldon, still eagerly taking in every new sense that hatching had allowed.

"I never knew it could look this intimidating," growled Booker.

"Oh, nonsense," said Joanna offhandedly. "It's the farm, your home!"

Roy groaned to himself. He, like Booker, had been not-too-secretly hoping that they would never find the farm, and they'd just wander the earth forever, free and away from that darn rooster hierarchy. "So, what's the plan now, Jo? Just plop back in and act like nothing happened?"

"No, I actually have a plan… or at least the beginnings of one," Joanna admitted. "I'm going to go to the henhouse and talk with the hens and try to band us all together to get rid of Buck."

There was a pause.

"And then…?" Roy prompted.

"Well… I haven't gotten that far yet," said Joanna, a bit testily. "This is what happens when an author starts a story without giving any thought to its ending…"

"You can't blame everything on that girl," sighed Sheldon.

"Well, we'll come up with an ending ourselves!" said Roy, trying to sound confident. "Who needs an author, anyway? We're smart, we can come up with ways ourselves! Which—" Roy threw his head back in a dramatic manner, causing his comb to flap back and forth—"which I have a feeling will benefit from the tricks I can pull from out under my sleeve!"

"You don't have sleeves," said Sheldon innocently.

"It's a figure of speech," sighed Roy.

"Well, we'll leave you to your toys, Roy," said Joanna with a smirk. "Come on, Booker and Sheldon, let's go see how well your siblings have fared."

"With Tonya in charge, I'll be surprised if they're all still alive," mumbled Booker, as they headed down the hill towards the henhouse.

"I'd better go to my roost and find some supplies," said Roy with a grin. "Yeah, so I'm violating the hierarchy of roosters here… but so what? It's fun!" Cackling with laughter, he ran to his dwelling, already coming up with a dozen things he could do to Buck.

Tonya, who was still ripping apart grass leaves in front of Roy's roost, dropped her grass leaves abruptly upon seeing Roy back. "Oh my sod! You're back!" she cried out.

"Yeah, I'm back alright," said Roy with a bit of a sigh. Undoubtedly, he was about to follow that statement with a woeful moan about how he was coming back as a shamed outcast, but Tonya didn't allow that. Before he could blink, she was hugging him fiercely.

"Finally! Finally you can help me get rid of Buck!" she cried.

"Get rid of Buck?" asked Roy. "You aren't… Tonya, are you?"

"That's my name, don't wear it out!"

Roy smirked. "Your mom and brothers seemed to think that you would have gotten rid of him by now."

"I might have," sulked Tonya, "but this one day, when I dug a tiger pit that he fell in—"

Roy barked out a laugh. "You did what? That's genius, Tonya, genius!"

Tonya flashed a smile. "Thanks. Anyway, that expletive deleted rooster intimidated Wade into getting him out of there, and in thanking him, pushed him in—Wade's got a broken wing now because of my trap, and Orson made me promise to lay off the pranks."

"Are you serious?" cried Roy. "Wade with a broken wing… no pranks from you… this is worse than I thought, and I thought it would be pretty bad to begin with." He began pacing the ground, muttering under his breath.

"Oh, don't worry…" Tonya smiled mysteriously. "I haven't completely stuck by my word. Don't tell Mom. But anyway, Buck's going to find a little surprise waiting for him when he tries to get a little shut-eye. By the way, don't sleep in your roost. Buck took it over—"

"My roost?" Roy flung his arms out in horror. "Not my roost! That's it, he's going down. I've got a couple of ideas—"

"So do I," interrupted Tonya. "We'll get him out of here. By the way…" She smiled in a playfully malicious way. Tonya had told her jokes to every hen and every chick, and they were all quite sick of her jokes (and knew the punch lines by now anyway). But here was someone who hadn't heard her jokes yet, and according to Booker and Sheldon, he was more of a joker than her! So, with that infamous Tonya smile, she looked up at Roy and asked:

"How do crazy people get through the forest?"

Roy opened his beak, about to say, "Why do you want to know?" but stopped short when he saw her smile. Oh, of course! It was a joke! And she thought she'd stump him! She obviously didn't know that she was dealing with the master of joke-telling. Why, that was the oldest one in the book! That was…

That was…

"Uh… they, uh… in a straight jacket? No, that doesn't make sense… uh…" He slumped his shoulders in defeat. "I give up. How do crazy people get through the forest?"

Tonya grinned. "They take the psycho path."

Roy laughed—he laughed! When was the last time he had laughed at someone else's joke? They rarely compared to his… but obviously this chick had inherited his fine taste in humor. No sense letting an opportunity like this pass him by!

"Alright, I'll admit, that was a pretty good joke, but try this one on for size: What does an army general kiss under at Christmas time?"

Tonya thought for a moment. "An army general… oh, I got it! Missile toe!"

"You're good," muttered Roy.

"Here's one," said Tonya, continuing, "that any chicken should appreciate: Two chickens were talking and one chicken said to the other chicken, 'Who is your favorite music composer?' The second chicken responds, 'Bach bach bach!'"

"Oh yeah? Well, how about this: Do you know who Mahatma Gandhi was?"

"He was that human being with the glasses and the loin cloth, why?" Tonya asked, a bit confused.

"Good. Well, as you probably know, he walked barefoot most of the time, so he got a lot of calluses on his feet. He didn't eat much, which made him very frail, and thanks to the food he DID eat, he often had bad breath. So, what would you call him?"

Tonya just stared.

"Come on, guess! Hee hee, you'll never get it!" Roy giggled.

"No, I never will. Tell me."

Roy was giggling so much that he was having trouble getting the punch line out. "He's a… he's a… a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis!" Roy could hardly breathe by this point, his laughs were so hearty.

Tonya blinked. "I don't get it…"

Roy sighed. "Here's another one: What do you get from a pampered cow?"

Tonya thought for a moment. "Not sure… what do you get from a pampered cow?"

"Spoiled milk."

Tonya finally got a giggle from one of Roy's jokes. Roy grinned proudly.

"Okay, you got me," said Tonya. "But here's one for you: What do you call a midget fortune teller who's just escaped from prison?"

"Oh, I've heard this one before!" cried Roy, snapping his wings, trying to remember. "A… a… a small medium at large! There, I got you. Now here's another one: Why is Saudi Arabia free of mental illness?"

Tonya thought for a moment… "Uh… look, you've got the advantage of age over me here! I've only heard very few jokes in my life! I give up. Why is it?"

"There are nomad people there," said Roy. He and Tonya both laughed.

When Tonya was silent, Roy asked her, "Do you have any more jokes?"

Tonya shrugged. "Not really. The only place I pick up my jokes are from the other hens, and they don't tell jokes that often. I'm glad I got to talk with you, though; now I have more jokes to tell them all!"

Despite Tonya's smile, Roy couldn't help but feel sorry for the girl. She had a great delivery tone, she was smart, and she obviously liked to make people laugh—but only a handful of jokes!

Suddenly, he got an idea.

"Wait right here," he said, running into his roost. He shuddered a bit upon seeing the inside of it—Buck had made a total mess of things! Fortunately, it looked like Roy's bookshelf—not nearly the size of Orson's, but still a pretty decent collection of books, mostly joke books—hadn't been touched. Doing a quick scan of his collection, he pulled out "Joe Miller's Joke Book" and ran back outside, to where a rather puzzled Tonya waited.

"Here—this book's a classic. I've probably told each one at least a dozen times, it's time you had a go at it!"

Tonya gave Roy a rather ashamed, sheepish smile. "Thanks for the book, Roy, but… I can't read."

"You can't read?" cried Roy in shock. "Boy, would Orson have a time of day with you… look, I'll teach you."

"You'll teach me?" repeated Tonya, awestruck.

Roy shrugged. "Sure. Reading's not that difficult, and you're a smart little hen—you'll pick it up fast, I know it."

"How about my brothers and sisters?" asked Tonya. "Will you teach them? They're just as smart as I am."

"Well, Booker and Sheldon already know how to read, but yeah, I could take on your other siblings. How many would that be?"

"Well, there's ten of us, so without Booker and Sheldon there's eight of us. But that's not really important to figure out right now. I take it Mom brought you back—and I want her help for getting rid of Buck too. Is she at the henhouse?"

"Yeah, she, Booker and Sheldon went there." Roy handed Tonya the joke book and the two of them began walking towards the henhouse. "Oh yeah, and by the way… guess what Sheldon did when he was out on his own?"

"What?"

"He hatched."

"Okay, now that's a joke that's hard to believe."

"No, I'm serious! Wait 'til you see him!..."

"You're pulling my leg…"

"You just wait and see…"

O.o.O

(AN: (starts laughing insanely) Can you tell that I share Roy and Tonya's love of bad puns? I visited a number of websites to find those—had to sift through a bunch of less-than-appropriate jokes too, but there you go… Oh yes, the word "halitosis" means bad breath, if you didn't know. I didn't know until looking it up in a dictionary. (And I believe that that joke will now be on my all-time favorites list.)

Not much happening in this chapter either, you say? Think again! It was about time Roy and Tonya met each other! Hopefully by next chapter, they (and by they, I mean I) will come up with a plan of how to get Buck off the farm. But until then, happy trails to you all! I'll be gone on a mission trip from March 18-25, so there will more than likely be no updates 'til then. But with the rate I update, you probably wouldn't have expected it anyway. Ha ha. But I digress. See you next chapter!)