(AN: Sorry for a bit of a wait… this chapter was torture to type out. Le sigh. But anyway, here it is, chapter the last! Enjoy your ride!)

O.o.O

Strangely enough, however, the feeling was short-lived… and everything looked exactly the same.

They were all still standing in the coup—nothing had changed. No one was wearing outlandish clothing, there was no ferocious monster waiting to tear them limb from limb, nothing. They were all still standing on the farm, and they all knew it.

Except… something seemed different

Buck's eyes darted around, in total confusion. "Why… why do I suddenly want to draw up plans for a windmill?"

"A windmill?" Roy asked, just as confused as Buck was. He noticed Wade and Lanolin exchange befuddled glances between them, trying to figure out what book Orson was reading.

"Yes… think about it!" Buck cried out, as if moved by a powerful force within him. "Think of the work it would save! Sure, building it will be hard work, of course. But once it's done, we'll only need to work three days a week!"

"I'm against this," said Orson, suddenly appearing in the doorway. "What we have to focus on now is getting enough food to eat."

"That's not a concern! We won't starve!" cried Buck. "And besides, just think of all the work it could save in years to come…"

"I have no clue of what's going on," admitted Wade.

"Me either," said Roy, scratching his head.

"Four legs good, two legs bad!" Bo and Lanolin suddenly belted out.

Everyone stared and blinked.

"That's quite true, but stop interrupting me…" Buck shook his head in confusion. "What's going on here? Why am I talking about a windmill? Oh, I know, because it's a great idea! No! Yes! What am I saying?"

Orson made a low whistling sound.

And, from out of nowhere, nine vicious dogs suddenly leapt out and lunged straight for Buck.

Buck screamed, uttered a loud curse that I don't think I'll repeat here, and tore out of the door, the dogs fast on his heels. Everyone in the hen house gathered to the window and stared at the spectacle. Buck literally tore down through the fields, even climbing over a tractor and, in his attempt to flee, pushed against a handle so hard that it snapped in two. Once clear of the fields, Buck tore as far away as from the farm as he could, screaming as he ran.

Suddenly, the dogs disappeared as quickly as they had arrived. Orson gave a chuckle.

"That was too easy!" he said with a laugh. "Well, friends, I don't think we'll be seeing him around anymore."

"Just what book were you reading?" Roy asked. "We were still on a farm!"

"Of course we were!" said Orson. "I was reading Animal Farm. Come on, couldn't you suddenly feel like you were embracing communistic ideals?"

"Oh, so that's why I wanted to call everyone 'comrade'," Lanolin said sheepishly.

"I'm glad he broke the tractor," said Orson. "I can tell the farmer that he did that so if Buck ever does come back, the farmer won't be too keen on letting him back in."

"Where did those dogs come from?" Booker asked. "I mean, you weren't going to… hurt Buck, were you?"

"He sure would have deserved it," Roy, Joanna, Tonya, and Lanolin all muttered at once.

"No, he was never in any danger, Booker," said Orson. "They were imaginary dogs. They don't even exist in real life! Besides, even if they were real… I'm not sure if they could have hurt him. Buck was playing the part of a pig, he technically wasn't himself."

"Why didn't you play the part of the pig, man?" Bo asked.

"I did—I was Napoleon, and Buck was Snowball. In fact, technically I was the bad guy of the story. But in the story Snowball's the one who gets driven off the farm, so Buck had to be Snowball, right?"

"Do you suppose he'll come back after he realizes that those dogs aren't chasing him anymore?" Joanna mused.

"I doubt it," laughed Orson. "You see, that's why I chose to read Animal Farm. The setting was on your typical farm, so he wouldn't really realize that something completely wacky and off-the-wall was happening at all. The setting and characters hadn't changed, so once he realizes that the dogs aren't chasing him anymore, he'll either think it WAS real and keep his distance from us, or he'll just think he's gone crazy, and hopefully STILL keep his distance from us."

"So he's… gone for good, then," said Sheldon quietly.

Orson nodded. "I would assume so."

There was a heavy silence.

"That means…" Joanna said, "that means that we've only got one rooster on the farm again."

"Try to hide your disappointment," said Roy, rolling his eyes.

Disappointment, however, was certainly the last thing on all the hens' minds. For all the hens rushed over to Roy and hoisted him in the air. Inspired, Tonya, who with everyone else was watching the whole scene with a bemused expression, began to sing, "For he's a jolly good fellow…"

"Wow… you guys really do like me!" Roy sounded shocked, in a happy way, of course. "Talk about an ego boost!"

"That's the last thing YOU need," mumbled Orson, Wade, Booker, Sheldon, Lanolin, and Bo.

O.o.O

"And that's basically what happened about a week ago," said Orson. "We haven't heard anything of Buck's whereabouts, although it's my personal assumption that he's in a funny farm somewhere. And I don't mean an occasionally humorous farm like this one," he added. "Although, with all the crazy things that have happened around here, even after Buck left, I'm not so sure that I don't belong in a funny farm either… For example, Roy's teaching all of Joanna's children how to read, and they're picking it up very fast. I gave Ryan the book The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins by Dr. Seuss yesterday, and he's read it five times—pretty good for someone who just started learning how to read a week ago!"

"Here you go, Orson!" Ryan suddenly interrupted Orson, running up and handing him a book. "Do you have anything else I could read? Like maybe that farm book you read to get rid of Buck?"

"Animal Farm?" Orson asked. "I think George Orwell is maybe a bit advanced for you…"

"Can I try anyway?" asked Ryan. "Julius and Alexander want to read that one too. They were able to read the Dr. Seuss book you gave me."

"What about your sisters?"

Ryan made a face. "They're reading fashion magazines. Except for Tonya; she's reading all of Roy's bad joke books. I'd stay away from her, if I were you."

"Sound advice," agreed Orson with a shudder. "Well, if you think you really want to try Animal Farm, then go ahead." He handed a gleeful Ryan the book. "But if it's too hard for you, just come back here and get an easier one from me."

"Thanks!" said Ryan, running off with book in wing.

Orson smiled as he watched the chick—actually, more accurately, the young rooster, as all the chicks now sported more white feathers than yellow, and the boys were spouting combs, even the late-hatching Sheldon—go back to the henhouse to read with his brothers. "Who says that young people don't read anymore?" Orson mused to himself. "Well, not that there's much else to do around here, now that the harvest is over. I've been reading more of my George Orwell books again—after reading Animal Farm, I had the strongest urge to read the rest of his books, like 1984. And even though it's autumn, the weather's been unusually warm and sunny, and we're all taking advantage of it…"

Orson leaned forward a bit in his inner tube. "Someone on the farm has turned to something other than books though. Have you ever head of that saying 'in springtime, a young man's fancy turns to romance'? Well, a duck's fancy must turn to romance in the fall, because—"

"A rose not half so fair as thee, my chicken fair—"

Orson sighed. "Wade… what are you trying to impress Tonya with now?"

"A flower," said Wade hastily. "It's probably not a rose… I don't know the difference between flowers. And it's kinda dead. Since it's autumn and all. But do you think she'll like it? I don't know if I could face rejection…"

"That is a rose, Wade."

"Oh, it is? …Is that a good thing?"

"Well, roses are typically symbolic as the flower of love…"

"That's good!"

"…but you do realize that they have thorns, right?"

"Th-thorns?" Wade choked out.

"Yep," nodded Orson. "And your finger is about an inch away from one right now."

Wade froze, mechanically dropped the rose from his left hand (his right arm still in its sling), and began to twitch and babble, the sure signs of an oncoming panic attack.

"Th—thaaaa…thor… thorrrrrr… THORNS! OH NO, AS IF I'M NOT IN ENOUGH PHYSICAL PAIN ALREADY! OH, HELP! LOVE HURTS!" With the rose thrown on the ground, Wada shot off like a rocket, screaming and panicking the whole way.

Orson sighed and shook his head. "I don't know if Roy knows about this yet… because I have a feeling if he did know, he wouldn't be too happy on the idea of Wade as a prospective son-in-law. Actually, I don't even know how he feels on the whole idea of inter-species relationships." Orson shuddered. "I don't know where I stand on that either, but I guess I'll try to be open minded. Anyway, Booker's still pretty much the same… he's still after those worms, but I hear that he's getting along with his mother much better now. And Sheldon—he's certainly made up for lost time! He'll always be a bit on the small side, I'm afraid, but he doesn't look quite as ill-balanced anymore." Orson laughed. "It seems that this whole 'Buck ordeal' has changed everyone, for better or for worse! Except Bo and Lanolin, I suppose. They're still pretty much the same, thank goodness!"

As if cued, Bo and Lanolin ambled on up, talking with one another.

"Like, I will admit, sis, usually not many people get under my skin like that, but that Buck was one bad egg, you know?"

"I agree with you one hundred percent, brother dear," said Lanolin.

Orson nearly dropped his book. "Okay, scratch that… Bo and Lanolin are actually agreeing on something! Well, anyway… that's about all I have…" Orson blinked. "Uh, you can fade out now. Really. It was nice talking to you, come back soon… read George Orwell, he's a good author… FADE OUT ALREADY!"

"Fine, fine! Sheesh!" cried the annoying author.

O.o.O

"…I swear there were dogs chasing me, and they were about to tear my hunky body to shreds, but I looked behind me and they were gone! I KNOW I wasn't imagining them… dogs, right behind me! I don't know where they came from, and I don't know where they disappeared to… you do believe me, don't you?"

"Of course we do, little rooster," said the man to Buck comfortingly. "Come with me, we'll make you feel aaaaaalll better." He lead Buck into the building, with the letters KFC across the top.

O.o.O

AN:

Oh my God, what a sickly twisted ending! I need to be punished. A nice five piece Buck dinner along with that duck/chicken pairing (I told you guys to talk me out of it!) and a hatched Sheldon… jeez, I need to be shot.

Well, anyway, 'tis over! (dusts hands) And what an enjoyable run I've had. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, you people who go by the names of Nightw2, tbag2, loved your story, Terminator Hobbes, Speedfox, BlAngl1518, Anonymous But Interested, and Inspector Brown. Oh yes, and lou, special thanks for your headache inducing reviews! Don't make it a habit though. I hate headaches.

If I ever right another Garfield/US Acres fanfic (not planning any right now, but you never know about future plans), I hope to see you all again! Thanks again for all the reviews, I'm so glad you all liked my silly story.

-Commander