CHAPTER 24: BALDNESS AND FLOBBERWORMS

On the following Monday, Hermione was being extra annoying in Defence Against the Dark Arts. So much so that Harry had to mend his glasses twice after snapping them with rage, Ron was sure he was malting from stress and Professor Stock's orgasmic fits had calmed down substantially. Harry and Ron were walking back up to the common room for lunch with Hermione trailing along.

'Does anyone actually like Louise?' she blurted out rather loudly.

'What?' Harry spun round suddenly on the spot and demanded an explanation from Hermione, whose llama curse had been fixed by Professor McGonagall.

'Does anyone actually like her?' she said again, coolly.

'Yes! Actually,' singed Harry, 'I happen to like her quite a lot!' he said, almost in a shout.

'I like her,' said Ron, calmly.

'There! See! We all like her except you!' Harry turned on his heel and stormed off.

'LLAMA!' Ron shouted, and then followed Harry.

'YOU GINGER, HOMOSEXUAL ARSEHOLE!'

That took it too far. Ron turned where he was, about twenty meters away from Hermione.

'SHUT UP, BALDY!'

'What? I'm not bald…'

'YES YOU ARE!' and Ron flung his wand out and cast a speechless spell at Hermione. A green light soared out of his wand and hit Hermione's head, causing all her hair to fall out. Ron straightened up his jumper and then walked off to the common room.

'Wonderful! Truly amazing, Ron!' Louise startled them as they walked through the portrait hole. 'Well done!'

'Thanks!' said Ron as Harry hugged Louise. 'It was quite fun!'

'I know! I might start up a business!'

'I CALL ASSISSTANT MANAGER!' shouted Ron.

'I CALL SECRETARY!' shouted Harry.

'Why?' asked Ron.

'So then I can sleep with the manager.'

'Oh right.'

At that moment, Draco and Ginny wandered down from upstairs and made their way toward Harry, Ron and Louise.

'GAYCO!'

'BOOB- LOUISE!'

'Have you not been out of bed all day?' asked Ron.

'No,' said Draco.

'Wow…'

Harry hugged Louise again.

'What? Are you two… a thing?' asked Draco?

'Erm…'

'YES!' said Louise.

'Potter,' said Draco in a very cold, deathly way. Much like how he used to.

That afternoon was potions and the back silhouette of Snape was still scaring Harry as he thought it was Debbie Cowap once again.

'Potter?' said Snape. 'Go outside,' he said when Harry looked up.

Harry left, not sure what he had done wrong. But after a while Draco came outside, too, holding a tub of flobberworm guts and a very pleased and evil looking facial expression.

Harry was in the shower, washing off all the evidence of Draco shoving guts down his clothes. "You really have no idea how gross these things are until you've had them tipped down your pants," thought Harry. He was pretty annoyed at Draco, though. He had been fine with him for ages. All of a sudden, there was a loud "POOF!" and a lot of purple smoke had appeared. Louise had emerged holding one hand over her eyes and a Starbucks cup in the other. Harry was taken by so much surprise that he jumped three foot in the air, banged his head quite hard on the shower head and landed on the soap, which caused him to comically slip over and land on his arse and let out a very girly little scream.

'IT'S OK!' shouted Louise. ' IT'S OK! I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING!'

'Oh, right. So… why are you here..? In the bathroom..?'

'I'VE COME TO WARN YOU!' Louise seemed to think that if she couldn't see Harry, then he couldn't hear her so she was shouted rather loudly. 'SOMEONE'S GOING TO PUT FLOB-'

'That's already happened.'

'DAMMIT! I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE STOPPED FOR COFFEE! I DON'T EVEN LIKE COFFEE! WHAT WAS I THINKING?' And with that, she dropped her hand covering her eyes in order to turn round and leave.

Harry just sat there, rather upset that she hadn't seen his highly muscly body all wet and sexy looking.