Disclaimer: Don't own Dmc 3. The author has nothing to do with CapCom or anything that concerns CapCom.
Warnings: Bad grammar….bad proofreading…..a lot of canon….weirdness and all...
The last time we left off…..our protagonist is entering the mighty and glorious Temen-ni-gru, not really
knowing what's in store for him except the part with Moby Dick, who is rotting away rather quickly. "This is
going to be one hell of a party!" Dante smirked and continued walking.
Good that little bastard is going in. Vergil viewed from the top of the tower. Soon Dante…soon you will
face my wrath. I am going to beat the living daylights out of you…you stupid buffoon. Then I'm going
to take your amulet and leave you in a pool of bloody mess. Then I'm going to say some cool words
and then stab you again with your own sword. I feel so wicked. He gave a scornful cackle which
interrupted Arkham from his reading. "What are you looking at? Keep reading!" He barked at Arkham. The
old man shrugs and returned to where he left off. Damn it…why does everyone have to react to every little
thing I do. I feel like I'm being watched. Vergil looks back at Arkham and then down at the city once more.
To his absolute surprise and disappointment, Dante reappeared at the base of the tower again. "VERGIL!
THERE'S A THREE-HEADED DOG INSIDE! WHY DIDN'T YOU WARN ME THAT HE CAN PISS
ICICLES?" Again with that annoying megaphone, damn those mortals for their ridiculous inventions. With a
heavy heart, Vergil covered his ears with ear cushions. It felt so much better.
Dante turned off the megaphone and huffed. "Great, the guy never listens. What a party pooper." The red clad
devil ran back inside to face his foe.
"Foolish mortal just what do you think you're doing here?" The great and powerful three-headed dog growled
at Dante as soon as he came back. "Wow I have never seen a talking three-headed mutt whose piss can
freeze into icicles as big as elephants." "How dare you speak such insolent words!" Cerberus roared at him.
"Puny vermin I am the guardian who protects this entrance. Leave now mortal! The likes of you are forbidden
in this land, you who are not wearing the color blue and also powerless, are not worthy to set foot here…not
even a by a millimeter!" "Easy Fido, how about I take you out for a walk? Come on puppy let's go!" Dante
whistled and tapped his fingers in the palm of his other hand. "Come on wittle pissy let's go!" The demonic
hound was boiling with fury. He and his two other companions wanted to chew Dante up like a rag doll. "How
dare you make a mockery out of me!" He snarled as Dante started to humiliate him so more. "Look at you, all
chained up and useless. I can defeat you even with my eyes close." He conceded. Dante took Rebellion and
full of jest, he foolishly pokes at the huge demon. But to much to Dante's dismay, Cerberus whose rage was
so great, broke his chains and chased the half-devil all over the place. "DAMN! Crap! Holy sh-!" He didn't
have time to think of what to do next. He jumped on top of the mutt and began to stab one of the heads.
"How do I defeat this freak?" Dante paused the game. Cerberus looked back at him with two gaping mouth
and one with its tongue lashing out. Dante took out his very own copy of Devil May Cry 3 Official Strategy
Guide. "Great thing I got this before it was even released in stores." He kissed the magazine and started paging
through it. He sat on top of the frozen hound that was also frozen and read for seven minutes. "Says I can use
Trickster, Royal Guard, Gunslinger, and Sword Master?" He stopped to think if Gunslinger would be a good
idea. An image of a scantily clad Yuna with guns from Final Fantasy X-2 appeared in his mind. "Nah…No
way I wouldn't look like that I hope." He thought "Besides its Gunslinger, not Gunner. But I think I would
want a hot chick like her around." He smirked. "Laced up in those tight shorts and that almost see through
top…ahhhh." His mind began to wonder off from the fight with Cerberus. "A hot chick with bi-color eyes and
a kickass body would be nice right about now." As soon as he had said that; a crashing sound was heard and
pieces of glass flew everywhere. A motorcycle jumped through one of the gothic Temen-ni-gru windows. It
was controlled by a woman…with a pair of short shorts, almost see-through white top and bi-color eyes. She
had a big ass gun slung to her back. "Hey I thought I just stopped the game?" Dante stared at her confusingly.
He looked at her up and down, "So there is a God, and he did answer my prayers about wanting a hot chick."
Dante took out his megaphone and yelled out. "THANK YOU GOD FOR GRANTING ME THIS ONE
WISH!" To his surprise, she shot a missile straight into his face but he swallowed it up like water. "That one
tasted like chicken." Mary stared at him in shock. No one should have survived that…NO ONE!
"Sorry babe but I think I was the only one who got an invitation to this party so uh…where's yours?" He
jumped off of Cerberus and began walking towards her. She still didn't answer him. "What? Cat got your
tongue girlfriend?" He teased. To Dante's disappointment, the mysterious Yuna-wannabe left him in the dust.
She went through the same hole where she entered before. "She must be shy or something…cause I'm too
sexy." He winked at himself. Dante turned around and remembered he still got to defeat Cerberus and
resumed the game. "Its show time Come on!" He waved at the beast.
next time in Dante's Special Awakening Edition….
The only way to defeat Cerberus is to strip him of his ice covered body…..will Dante be able to bring him
down….find out next time!