Perfectly Broken

Rating: K
Spoilers: Everything up to and including Dalek
Summary: He can't love her, because he is broken and she is perfect. 9Rose
Author's Note: After WWIII, I ended up shipping hardcore for 9 and Rose. Thus has come my first Doctor Who fic. Please be gentle! And thank you to Beka, my beta. And a thank you to Hunter, who informed me that Naples is in Italy. I feel very stupid.

He's not sure why he asked her to come with him. Maybe it's because her life was so perfectly normal, yet she pulled the fire alarm anyway. She swung on the chain to save him from the Auton and save her world from the Nestene Consciousness. Maybe it's because he knew she would say yes if given the appropriate chances. Maybe he missed wide-eyed, naïve, untouched and unbiased wonder.

Or maybe it's because she is everything he can never have.

He's not sure why he brought her to see the end of her world. It was cruel—by now, he's managed to admit that to himself. Even if she had seen the Autons and the Nestene Consciousness, throwing her into the middle of alien beings gathered to watch her world destroyed was almost a punishment for coming with him. Maybe he wanted to test her. Maybe he wanted to get the worst bit out of the way.

Or maybe, subconsciously, he wanted her to leave before he got too close to her.

He's not sure why she didn't leave. He brought her back to her world, her living world, and told her she could go home. She wanted chips instead. His strange defense mechanism hadn't worked Rose Tyler. And because she stayed, he took her somewhere he'd see her eyes light up—Christmas, 1860, Italy. Humans were so particular about Christmas. When they landed in the wrong place, she took it in stride, looking so beautiful he hadn't been able to help saying something. Too beautiful, and he's falling.

But he holds back, because he is broken and she is perfect.

After the Gelth, he's sure she'll leave. She says the words and his hearts nearly stop, but he keeps going—just for a visit. And as much as he hates domestic, he owes her too much to say no. It becomes a bad thing when he's slapped and a good thing when things get interesting and he thinks it's first contact for the human race and a bad thing again when it puts Rose in danger. Things go from bad to horrific when he realizes he would let an entire world full of billions of people be destroyed if it meant Rose would live a few more hours.

It terrifies him and thrills him at the same time, but the terror is worse.

He's almost sure she won't leave him when she stays even after everything with the Dalek. He can't bring himself to remove the almost, because he's afraid that the day he does is the day she'll ask him to take her home. He's afraid of how much it will hurt if she does. He's afraid he needs her, and he's afraid the Dalek was right. Not in saying he would make a good Dalek himself; that isn't what truly scares him. No, he's afraid she is the woman he loves.

And he can't love her, because he is broken and she is perfect.