Disclaimer: I do not own DMC3 and I am not involved with CapCom or anything.
And remember that this is all fake and don't act seriously like you have issues with me because it isn't real and all just made up and fake etc….(yes I type fake two times)
The last time we left off on our adventure; Vergil was busy flashbacking about Arkham with shovels.
So we will now resume to Dante's battle with Cerberus.
(The camera screen zooms to Dante and Cerberus's fight. We found out that the two weren't in sight)
We rubbed our eyes and blinked a couple of times. WTF? What's going on? They were there two chapters ago.
To the audience's disappointment, the author apologizes that she had forgot to save the fight on a memory card before writing chapter 3. Therefore poor wittle (yes I typed that purposely with a 'w') Dante decided to skip the mission and move on to better things. But don't worry about that idiot; we will have to deal with Cerberus another day, so don't feel upset right now. Dante is still awesome and cheesy! And we need more stuff out there about him!
Yeah you're probably wondering where the heck this story is going! But bear with me because in the meantime of developing a plot; we will have to go into a short interview with the creator of DMC3. We have to ask him on why Special Edition is so….special? The author randomly drafted a man from RE:4 named Leon S. Kennedy to direct the interview.
Leon: Oh my gosh I'm so glad to have you here today!
Capcom guy: Err…yeah me too
Leon: So what's so different about this edition?
CC guy: Well you see in order to make this installment; we, as in the whole CapCom crew had teamed up with Square Enix, Koei, Konami, EA games, Squaresoft, Dream Works, Techmo, Namco, Atari, Nintendo, Disney, Rogue Pictures, Universal Studios—
Leon: DISNEY! (gasps and chokes) What were they thinking?
CC guy: Yes we combined our forces tenfold to create the ultimate Special Edition in histroy for you all to cherish
Leon: Wow that sounds very special right there! Whoo hoo!
CC guy: Yes that is the surprised expression we were waiting for Leon. Aren't you excited?
Leon: Uh yeah….and please refer me to my last name
CC guy: But I thought we were going to be friends
Leon: I'm interviewing you because I was order to. So I don't have to like you and personally I don't recall saying that you can announce me by my first name
CC guy: Er….okay…whatever
Leon: What is so 'Special' about this second installment?
CC guy: Well first off we had confirmed that in the Special Edition there will be a playable Vergil
Leon: Yeah
CC guy: We tweaked a few flaws in the game and made it 30 percent faster
Leon: uh-huh
CC guy: Added a gallery engine thingy so that the player/audience can see any cutscene they want
Leon: Is that all?
CC guy: Bloody palace is added and Jester becomes a boss
Leon: No way!
CC guy: We're dead serious this time and the Special Edition will be at a budgeted price
Leon: Noooooo!
CC guy: Well that's all that we have to say about the Special Edition it was nice having this interview and now if you'll excuse me, I will be off to start my DMC 5 art concepts for the PS3.
Leon: Wait CapCom guy!
CC guy: What?
Leon: Will there be anything else added to the game like….Easter eggs?
CC guy: Eggs? Oh…yes I forgot to mention that
Leon: How many will there be?
CC guy: Lots of them
Leon: You're not being specific
CC guy: That's because it's for you to play and find out
Leon: Okay then you may get out of my sight, bye!
(End of Interview)
Yes! We're back to business with the story! Um…now to find Dante…. Hey where is he anyway?
(Camera zooms to a very energetic Dante who is fighting a gigapede.)
"Whoo hoo, blast off, ah-ha!" Dante leaped on top of the giant insect and performed numerous slashes on its back. The creature hissed in pain and traveled to the nearest tunnel. "Too easy---hey ow!" Dante winced as the electric current from the gigapede's body zapped him. Each time the gigapede disappears into another different tunnel, Dante has to run around and guess, which tunnels the bastard insect, would exit. Sometimes he might have to wait forever and that just isn't cool.
"Okay this is taking forever." He gave a huff. Dante was practically jumping up and down in anticipation for the gigapede to come out. "You know what, screw this! Its Special Edition!" He flipped the finger and went straight through the tunnel. What the heck? Did he just initially go into the tunnel? Yes he did. We wait in wonder of what will happen next. A couple minutes later, an inhuman cry followed by imitations of Bruce Lee's voice was heard and this indicated that Dante nailed the gross bug. He returns with lots of red orbs in his pockets (does he even have any pockets?) "Damn I did it! Now I'm beginning to like Special Edition! Thank you CapCom guy!" Dante ran off to the next stage, not realizing a few red orbs falling out of his pockets. (Oh well.)
(Top of Temen-ni-gru)
"Oh shitty fuck!" Arkham screamed which caused Vergil to snap out of his day-dreaming of becoming Nelo Angelo.
(Day Dream: When they were six year old in the sand box)
Dante: When I grow up Verge, I'm going to be a superhero and build my own shop complete with a parking lot
Vergil: That's stupid, when I grow up; I'm going to attain our father's power and be Nelo Angelo
Dante: What's that?
Vergil: A bad guy that I immediately created the moment you made your pointless speech of wanting to save the world by building parking lots
Dante: But I am serious Vergil, I like parking lots alot
Vergil: Whatever, besides, my goal is attainable, realistic, very complicated, and way better than yours will ever be
Dante: That's not true! (Trying to hold back tears)
Vergil: Quit that blubbering…it makes you look weak
Dante: I'm telling mommy
Vergil: If you tell her right now. I will smash your sandcastle
Dante: No please don't big bwather!
Vergil: Are you gonna cry?
Dante: Nope, but I guess your goal is cool because whatever happens in the future, we will always be together…right Verge?
Vergil: Nah…I don't think so
Dante: Do you hate me?
Vergil: Yes you buffoon, I have always hated you since the day my embryo split into two,
inside mother's womb
Dante: What's that?
Vergil: Something you wouldn't understand
Dante: And what do you mean 'your' embryo?
Vergil: Stupid, the other part of me became you!
Dante: Ahhhh! I'm a part of Vergil! Noooo!
Vergil: We're identical twins you twit
Dante: Oh my Gosh, my wittle cranium cannot process your complicated words for I am only six years old and my brain functions at a normal age. While yours is as tedious as that of a college professor…of course I know what a womb is and I do know how twins are created.
Vergil: I should have strangled you with the umbilical cord and left you to die
Dante: MOM! VERGIL WANTS ME DEAD!
Vergil: Hush down or I'll kill your sand castle
Dante: Stop being a meanie. Why don't we just work together in the future
Vergil: Shut up! Since you had self-proclaimed to save these lowly humans and construct parking lots, I have decided to plot against you!
Dante: But mum's a human too
Vergil: Well she doesn't count because she's going to be with me when I obtain Nelo Angelo
Dante: Nuh-uh mum's going to live with me
Vergil: I won't let my mother live on a parking lot!
Dante: She's not! I'm going to build a huge sandcastle for her to live in
Vergil: Whatever
Dante: Mommies don't like bad boys who hurt their little brothers
Vergil: Mother loves me more
Dante: Nuh-uh, mum loves me most
Vergil: No!
(This is the part where Vergil's mind was distracted by Arkham)
"Oh shitty fuck!"
(End of flashback)
"What the hell is your problem Arkham?" Vergil snapped out of his long daydream and yelled.
"Nothing…I was just reading and uh…I bit my tongue that's all."
"Hmph." Vergil frowned and return to looking down at the city. His eyes widened as he saw a small red motorcycle crashing out of the entrance.
"Looks like we have an uninvited guest…."
Arkham snorted, "Is that so?"
"A human….a woman…she entered and came back out again." Vergil observed.
"Well then I'm afraid I must ask her to leave….actually I happen to be acquainted with that woman…" Arkham stood up and left the top of the tower.
"A snowstorm is approaching…." He muttered.
Vergil waited until he was gone….and then he grabbed out a Snickers bar and ate it. Chocolate was so good.
To be Continue………again at my useless attempts to make a story interesting
Sorry about the Cerberus battle….it didn't really work out because I had some more ideas. Review or flame if you like….bye!