Renoir Fione: Sorry about the 'TEVO' misspelling. If I ever create a 'TEVO' related fanfic again, I shall remember that 'TEVO's true spelling is, in fact, TIVO…Carry on.
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Toad: You poor thing! I'm so sorry for what I did to you, Princess!
(Princess is now bald from head to toe. Toad continues to brush her skin)
Toad: But you've got to understand, it was the only way to save you. I couldn't let that…blasted creation of Pyro's…get to you first. I didn't want to lose you, kitty. I never want to lose you! Do you understand? You forgive me, don't you?
(Princess purrs.)
Toad: Soon, I promise. Soon a new lair of fur will grow in and you'll be your old self again.
Princess: Mew.
Toad: But, until that time comes, I'll keep you warm with this nice, cozy blanket I have here in my hands. Would you like that?
(Princess purrs. Toad wraps a very raggedy blanket over Princess and begins cradling her like a baby.)
Toad: You know, Princess, I think you're just about the best thing that's ever happened to me.
Audience: Aw!
Toad: When'd you all come back!
(Wanda enters Toad's room.)
Toad: Haven't you heard of "knock first?"
Wanda: Look, I'm sorry about what happened to your cat.
Toad: Oh, it's nothing. See!
(Toad holds up a very bald Princess in a raggedy brown blanket.)
Wanda: That's nice…Um, Toad…
(Toad begins rocking the cat in his arms.)
Toad: Rock-a-by Princess in the tree top. When the wind blows the cradle will rock…
Wanda: Do you suppose, maybe, we could talk about…us?
Toad: Ssh. She's sleeping.
Wanda: I've noticed you with Princess. And now, I finally understand that you have something that few guys these days have. You're a great parent, you're sensitive. And, when you have such great qualities as those, nothing else really matters…even looks!
(Toad continues to hum lullabies to the cat.)
Wanda: I was wondering if you and I…we could—Are you listening to me!
Toad: Yeah, yeah. Make-up is wonderful…
Wanda: Look, I am pouring my heart over here and all you can think about is that damned cat! Forget what I said!
(Wanda is about to storm out of the room.)
Toad: Wait.
(Wanda stops.)
Toad: Before you go, let me ask you…
(Wanda smiles.)
Toad: Do you have any idea as to what might be responsible for this laugh track that's been playing for hours?
(Wanda sighs, disappointed.)
Wanda: No, Toad, I have no idea. Good night.
Toad: Good night.
At the X Mansion…
(Magneto and Charles are sitting on the couch, watching the Brotherhood make fools of themselves on the television.)
Magneto: Really, Charles! Aren't you glad I come up with these screwball plans of mine! We've been entertained for hours!
Charles: Yes. Using my powers to make the Brotherhood think they were in a sitcom was the best plan you've ever come up with.
Magneto: So, was the giant TIVO monster idea yours?
Charles: No, I'm afraid Pyro really did mess up your television set. They did quite a number on it, didn't they?
Magneto: Yes. I shall have to kill Pyro upon my return to the lair… (Trying to contain his wrath.) …Toad too.
Charles: You seem angrier at Toad than you are at Pyro.
Magneto: No one turns down my daughter. Especially not some—
(Magneto begins clenching his fists in extreme wrath.)
Magneto: No matter…Thank you again, old friend, for showing such a wonderful evening.
Charles: It was my pleasure.
Magneto: Take care.
Charles: You too.
END
