Tales Of The Fearless Dragon

by streetlife34

Delinquent, Brother, Protector of the weak, Undefeated fighter, Kind, Ruthless. Add Devil to that list. There all kind's of strange beings in this new this world, but that doesn't matter, no matter who gets in my way I will be victorious. I'm the current Red Dragon Emperor, Shirou Tsukiharu and I never lose.

31. Downtime And Weird Sages

Hey everyone and gets ready for this chapter. I know some of you were expecting the start of the next Arc, but I decided to do this like before. Like last time, I'm going to do a chapter about the characters doing other stuff before that. Unfortunately, since Season 2 only had one Ova and no specials, I decided to use a special from Season 3 and just made up the rest, hope you don't mind.

I also added something a little extra at the end that will follow up on the story. And I think you'll like it.

Disclaimer: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody, Highschool DxD, Highschool DxD New, Highschool DxD Born, Highschool DxD EX, and Highschool DxD Hero are all owned by Funimation, Fushimi Shobo, TNK, Passione, and Ichiei Ishibumi. Please support the official release.

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"Shirou" Regular speech.

"Shirou" Thoughts.

DRAGON SHOT Attack names.

(Shirou) Words said previously.

"SHIROU!" Shouting speech.

[Ddraig] Dragon talking.

---

Downtime And Weird Sages

---

~Rias and Akeno, Girls Fight?!~

The time was nighttime at Kuoh Academy. The Peace Summit had ended, the terrorists were gone, and everything was back to normal, mostly. Now that peace was established, many things about the lives of everyone involved—In particular, now every member of the Occult Research Club was going to live with Shirou at his house by order of Sirzechs, and due to the lack of space, Rias had ordered renovations on his residence to fix that problem. Until then, all they could do was wait until the house was ready.

So now, it was the night of the first day of Summer Vacation and Rias had request Shirou to come to the Occult Research Club meeting room, Akeno had requested the same thing and so the Silver-haired Delinquent had arrived at their request.

When Shirou stepped into the clubroom, Rias and Akeno were waiting for him and seemed pleased when he arrived, the room was empty besides the three of them and the only light was a large candle on the table, giving the room a sensual atmosphere.

As Shirou sat down on the couch, the two Big Breasts Devils sat as well, Rias on his left side, Akeno on his right.

"Alright, so what was it you two called me over for?" Shirou asked. "And why'd you wait until the middle of the night?"

Akeno closed her eyes and smiled graciously at him. "We wanted to make sure no one else was here so we wouldn't be interrupted."

"Well, that answers one question, so what's the other one?" Shirou asked Rias this time.

"Are you curious?" Rias asked before giving him a Devilish smile. "We wanted to show you a way where you wouldn't be able to lust after one of us."

Shirou raised a brow. "That's it, you called me out here just to see if you could get a rise out of me?" He asked before he leaned back. "Fine, why not?"

"Ara, Ara? Isn't this usually the time you either get annoyed or protest these kinds of things?" Akeno pointed out, still smiling.

"I decided to not get so worked up about everything." Shirou calmly responded. "Besides, sometimes it feels like I'm just giving you what you want whenever I do that." He looks to Rias. "Anyways, how do you plan to spark my lust?"

Akeno looks to her King as well. "Yes, how exactly?"

Rias smirked and magically changed her outfit into one that was of a high school teacher consisting of a white-buttoned dress shirt that seemed to show off her feminine build with, a black blazer, and fake glasses along with some red lipstick, and the upper portion of her dress shirt also unbuttoned showing off her red and black bra and cleavage. The bottom half of the outfit was a short black skirt that showed off her red lingerie when she sat down, skin-tight leggings.

Rias scooted closer to him and place her hand on his chin. "Shirou-kun, study hard for your next exam, and if you pass—"

"If I pass?" Shirou nonchalantly repeated, playing along.

"I'll let you touch my breasts~" Rias offered, opening up her shirt which opened her bra and let her exposed breasts jiggle free.

Shirou blinked before he answered. "I think I'll skip that class."

Rias moved in close a gave him a seductive look. "That's no good~ Then you'll have to take a remedial class, or maybe I could give you a private lesson?"

"You are so getting fired." Shirou commented.

Akeno narrowed her eyes then smiled as she began her role play.

"Ara, Ara, then I'll be—" Akeno used her magic to remove every stitch of clothing from her body and replaced them with a single white apron that covered her front up to her hips and left her back completely exposed. "—A recently married wife with an apron!"

"Well, that escalated fast."

Akeno stood up and held Shirou's hand to stand him up as well, then she moved closer until they were only inches apart as she twirled her finger around her pecks and whispered near his face.

"My husband is busy at work~" Akeno started her roleplay now. "I'm sorry to ask this~"

Shirou raised a brow. "How recent is your marriage exactly? I mean, you just agreed to spend your lives together and now this?"

Akeno gave him a better view of her cleavage. "You shouldn't be so worried about those things~ I'd like to do something for you~ What do you think I should do~?"

"I think you ready know, considering your state of lack-of-dress." Shirou reminded her, once again playing along.

"Ara, Ara, ufufufu!" Akeno stepped back and grabbed the top helms of her apron. "Don't tell my husband this~!" She then pulled her apron down and exposed her breasts too.

Rias then grabbed his shoulder and made him face her again. "Say, what would you like to do after you pass your entrance exams?" She said, sounding irritated as she wanted to recapture his attention. "I'll listen to you and do whatever you want as a teacher~" She sat in a sexual pose as she removed her glasses.

"Define 'whatever'" Shirou told her.

"I'll give you. My. Whole. Body~" Rias promised as she opened up her legs.

"How's that 'as a teacher'?" Shirou thought bluntly.

Akeno did the same and grabbed his cheeks as she brought his attention back to her.

"As an accident, I made too much dinner for my husband. If you want, you can eat it~" Akeno then sat back on the couch, turned around, and got into a sexual pose as she showed off her exposed backside. "Or is it that inside of dinner, you'd rather have, my body~"

"Personally, I'd rather have dinner." Shirou thought bluntly.

Shirou then got up from his seat and yawned as he stretched out his arms.

"Whelp, I just got bored with this." Shirou decided before he turned to the door. "I'm leaving."

[Huh?!] Both the girls exclaimed with surprise.

"Didn't you like it?" Rias asked feeling almost like her pride as a woman was being questioned. "Weren't we able to make you lust after one of us, even a little?"

"Honestly, not really." Shirou shut down her question. "The only lust I felt from those performances was lackluster."

"What was wrong with them?" Akeno asked, curious to know.

"Two things, the first being your outfits." Shirou pointed out. "For Rias, that "teacher" getup is way overdone, everyone who wants to pretend they're a "Sexy-Teacher" always dresses like that, and so it lost its flare. As for Akeno, a little while back, both Rias and Asia did the "Naked-Apron" outfit before so it doesn't really surprise anymore."

"Muu, I was beaten to the punch." Akeno lamented.

"What was the other reason?" Rias asked.

"Your characters themselves, as you want on, all you talked about was offering your bodies. In other words, you went from being a "Sexy-Teacher" and a "Newly-Wed wife" into a "Slutty-Teacher" and a "Newly-Wed Bitch" who don't care about any relation and only think about sex." Shirou explained to them before he shrugged. "And some guys might be into that, but not me."

"So in the end, we couldn't make you lust after us." Rias muttered, looking disappointed.

"But wait, which one of us did better?" Akeno asked, wanting to know. "At least say which one you liked more."

Shirou put a hand on his chin as he paused and thought about it for a moment.

"…Akeno." Shirou answered before he walked out the door.

A few minutes later, Rias and Akeno were now back in their regular clothes and were both sitting down while having some tea as Akeno seemed pleased as she had a wide and bright smile on her face.

"Ufufufufu…"

"What exactly are you so happy about?" Rias asked, a hint of annoyance in her tone.

"Shirou-kun said he liked me more than you." Akeno happily answered as she closed her eyes. "Looks like I moved a bit ahead of you, so I'm happy."

"You know that's not what he meant!" Rias cried out in objection, obviously upset that he didn't pick her.

---

~Asia Shouldn't Drink~

It was morning and Shirou was with Asia and Ren as they were in the forest near the Old School Building in the middle of Senjutsu training. After working on it for a while, they both stopped and sat on the ground out of breath while Asia healed any injuries they may have sustained while training.

"Haaa…" Ren let out a gasp for air. "Training with you always takes a lot out of me."

"Yeah well, I can still move so we're not done." Shirou informed him.

"Of course we aren't." Ren fell flat on his back.

Asia gave them a small smile before she looked up at the sky. "It sure is a nice day today."

Ren wistfully gazed at the sky too. "Yeah, it's so quiet and peaceful, I almost can't believe a massive global conflict like the Khaos Brigade attack happened here just the other day."

"Huge incidents always feel so long ago after they end." Shirou told them. "Like the last year's school festival, it was so big but the next day everything was back to normal like it never happened."

"I've never been to a school festival before." Asia joined in, sitting down as well. "Are they really that big?"

"Well, they last a few days and have a bunch of different events, booths, and stands so they feel pretty big." Ren explained. "Actually, last year Shirou helped with the food preparation for some of the booths."

Shirou shrugged. "Had to, the consequences would have been a pain to deal with otherwise." He complained. "The time I spent on the festival took a while to get back. In fact, the day after, I'm pretty sure I crushed those guys at Kudai High."

Ren laughed. "Haha, I remember that. You said, "I wanna do something fun for a change" then went to their usual hangout and challenged dozens of them. After an hour, you walked away after knocking them all out." He remembered.

"I overestimated them." Shirou waived off. "It was only mildly-fun."

Asia watched as the two of them reminisced on their memories and fun times as students and times they spent together, while a part of her was envious because she never had the chance to experience the joys of an ordinary student's life, another part of her was happy because her current life would give her the chance to as well as make newer memories with them. At that point, a thought popped into her head.

"Um, can I ask you a question?"

"You already did, but what is it?"

As Shirou asked, Asia looked down before she said what was on her mind. "Do you two ever wonder what your lives would have been like if you weren't involved in the supernatural world, I mean if you were just ordinary Humans?"

Both of them sat up when they heard her question, not expecting her to ask that.

"Why do you ask?" Ren asked.

"Just curious."

Asia looked like she really wanted to now given how anticipated she seemed. Thus they decided to ask.

"Well, for me…" Shirou started as he smirked. "I'd of cruised through High School and after that, I'd become an NBA All-Star."

Asia looked slightly paused by his words, considering she didn't know what 'NBA' stood for, seeing that confusion, Ren answered her obvious question.

"It means Basketball."

"Oh?" Asia nodded, now understanding.

"Yeah, not just that, I'd of won repeated Championships and win the MVP Award seven times." Shirou said confidently.

"Why seven specifically?" Asia asked, not seeing any other problem in his claim.

"It's because even amongst the most legendary players, the highest number of times any player has won that award is six." Ren explained, with half-narrowed eyes. "So basically, if you win it seven times, you'll arguably be the greatest player of all time."

"Which would only be natural considering it would be me." Shirou pointed out.

Ren sighed. "And let me guess, the reason you choose that sport is that not only do successful Basketball players get paid a ton of cash but it's a sport where physical abilities can be an equally important quality as technical skills."

"Considering I'm the Strongest Power-Type and the Greatest Technique-Type in the Peerage, mastering a sport would take no time." Shirou bragged. "I'd be unrivaled in a match and be so rich, I'd need a team of accountants to count all my money."

"Well, I've already seen how much training he does and how much dedication he has when it comes to getting stronger, so if he channeled that into a different field, it wouldn't be too unbelievable that he'd have World-Class success." Ren muttered to himself. "Plus, so far, in every fight or activity he does when he's in great shape, he always finds a way to end things where it feels like he was the MVP, so I guess that's possible too."

"But Shirou-san, have you ever played before?" Asia asked, wanting to know.

Shirou nodded. "Only Streetball though."

"Yeah, this happened before we met, but I've heard about it." Ren began to tell the story. "Back in my Third Year of Middle-School, there was a spot in town where a lot of people played Streetball matches and gambled on the outcome, winning teams always got a big cut of the money." He explained. "Then one day, a single player who was as old as a Middle Schooler showed up and started playing as well, he won his first match and then his second and just kept winning, he got better with each match, so much so that before long he could drive through a whole team and even knew how to dunk. After a month, they relocated to a different town because. Since everyone knew what the outcome would be if he played it wouldn't be gambling anymore."

"I couldn't help it if I learn fast." Shirou shrugged. "Plus-side, I made a lot of cash from the gambling spot."

"Huh?" Asia looked slightly confused by his statemate.

Shirou face-palmed before he said. "It's me! The guy in the story was me!"

"Wait, you seriously couldn't tell?" Ren asked also perplexed.

"W-Well, you never said his name so." Asia defended.

"Anyways, that's how it went." Shirou wrapped it up. "Except, after one of my wins, I remember one guy asking me, 'Are you one of the Generation-of-Miracles?' What the hell are those?" He asked, confused by that memory.

Ren sighed. "It's something Mika would get."

"What about you, Ren-san?"

Asia's question recaptured his attention.

"Yeah, what would you have been if you weren't a Youkai from supernatural Kyoto?" Shirou asked as well.

"Hmm, well personally, if I had a choice, I'd wanted to be an explorer." Ren admitted.

"An explorer?" Asia repeated, surprised by his choice.

Ren smiled as he nodded. "I'd be able to go all around the world, going to all kinds of places that may not have been seen or touched in hundreds or even thousands of years. Traveling has always been appealing to me, it's like I'm unchained and free to go anywhere and find so many new things." He confessed, sounding at ease.

Asia smiled as well, also seeing the appeal of what he described. "That does sound nice. Being an explorer."

"Yeah, now all you need is a map, a backpack, and a blue monkey in red boots." Shirou joked.

"Like anyone would want to be that kind of explorer!" Ren joked back.

Asia stayed silent because as usual, she didn't get the reference, Shirou soon faced her.

"What about you, Asia?"

"Yeah, what would you be if you weren't supernatural?"

"Uh, um…" Asia was a bit nervous after suddenly becoming the center of attention, but composed herself and thought of her answer. "I think I'd be the happiest if my life was the same as what it is now, going to school and making many friends, but most of all, I'd want to be able to spread the teaching of God's love to as many people as I can."

Shirou yawned. "I should have figured that kinda answer. Ever since you've been able to pray again, you've been going on about 'faith and God' non-stop, and it's only been a day."

Asia put on a beaming smile. "But, I'm just so happy. Ever since I became a Devil, not being allowed to pray has been one of the hardest things for me to adjust to, now that I'm able to again I feel so much better, even if The Lord is no longer with us, I just love praying in general."

"That's all well and good, but when you think about it, can someone like you actually go around preaching about God after despite being a huge sinner?" Ren wondered.

"Huh, I'm not a sinner?!" Asia loudly protested.

"Actually, Asia, yes you are." Shirou argued with her. "Remember what Rias said, "You've become a real Devil and you're a lecherous girl"."

Asia blushed when she remembered that as Ren added on. "That's right, a girl who's secretly very lecherous and has lustful desires in the back of her mind isn't exactly what you'd expect from a follower of God."

Asia's face turned beat-red as she said loudly. "You're wrong! I am not lecherous and I don't have those kinds of thoughts and desires!"

"So you say." Shirou didn't sound convinced. "Anyway, speaking of sinning, I'm thirsty."

After saying that Shirou got up from the ground and started heading inside, Ren and Asia followed after him.

---

Now the trio entered the clubroom and Shirou went over to Rias' desk.

"Shirou-san, what are you doing?" Asia asked.

"Getting a drink."

Shirou answered her as he opened the desk's drawer and pulled up the bottom of the drawer revealing a hidden layer, from that layer he took out a small flask filled with alcohol.

"You had booze hidden in Rias' desk?" Ren noticed.

Shirou removed the lid. "Who would think to look there?"

"You can't!" Asia quickly snatched the flask from his hands before he could drink it. "You shouldn't be drinking illegally, and you can't drink on campus."

Shirou groaned. "Are we really doing this again?"

"I keep telling you both not to drink, yet you keep doing it." Asia said disapprovingly.

"Look, Asia, why don't you try some for yourself and see that it's no big deal." Shirou suggested.

"He's right, don't knock it till you try it."

Asia shook her head. "I can't, that would be wrong."

"Okay, just hear me out." Shirou started. "We're Devils, and Devils live forever, which means that our lives are virtually infinite, which means that there's a 100% chance that at some point we'll have done everything, which includes you drinking some of that alcohol."

Asia's mind was all jumbled up from his explanation considering she didn't understand most of it and the rest went over her head, all she knew was that it sounded like a convincing argument, so she turned to Ren.

"Is all that true?" Asia asked.

Ren avoided her gaze before he answered. "Well… It's not untrue."

"Well… Okay then…"

Asia still seemed unsure but decided to believe his argument and opened the flask. Asia then took a large sip of the drink and swallowed it right away. After that, she started to feel herself become lightheaded and her face started to feel warmer than before.

"So, how was it?" Ren asked.

"Hic…Hic…"

[Eh?]

Both of them became a little surprised as they heard her only response was hiccups as they both knew what that meant. The deep blush around her face and the dizzy look in her eyes further proved that conclusion, Asia was completely drunk.

"What? How did she get wasted from on sip?" Shirou question in disbelief.

"I guess her tolerance for the stuff is unnaturally weak." Ren surmised.

"Sh-Shirou-saaan!" Asia made her way over to him on unsteady legs and clung to his arm. "I feel really…Hic, warm on the inside."

"Probably because you're all loopy." Shirou noted.

"Sniff, sniff…" Asia sniffed his torso and looks up at him with a pouty expression. "Shirou-san, y-you have the smell of women all over you—Chief-san and Akeno-san." She accused.

"Wait, is that true?" Ren asked surprised.

Shirou shrugged. "Meh, we fooled around a bit last night, what of it?"

"Auu, me too!" Asia exclaimed while comical-rivers of tears were streaming down her cheeks.

"What'd ya mean, me too?" Shirou raised a brow.

"You al-hic-always leave me out of these things!" Asia cried out as she started unbuttoning her shirt. "I don't want to be shown…Shown up by the other girls anymore!"

"Ah, I get it, she's the kind of drunk where you lose all inhibitions." Ren deduced. "And you can't stop ugly crying."

"Really, I hadn't noticed?" Shirou sarcastically replied.

Asia let her shirt fall to the floor and began unhooking her bra as she stared at him longingly. "Shirou-san…Hic, will you touch me like you did them?"

"Forget it." Shirou formed a cross with his arms. "I am not doing it with a girl who's too wasted to even consent to it."

"Shirou-saa—"

Before Asia could finish removing her bra, she tilted over and fell to the side, before she could hit the floor Shirou caught her and put her down on the couch as she laid there with her bra hanging loosely around her chest, her quiet breathing let them tell that she was asleep.

"Huh, she passed out drunk?" Ren noticed. "And all that from just that small bit of alcohol, that kinda stuff usually only happens in a Gag Manga."

"Unless you're us, in that case, it happens pretty often." Shirou pointed out stoically.

"Well, we learned one thing though…" Ren noted. "Asia is a very lecherous Devil with low self-esteem."

Shirou picked up her shirt and began redressing her. "I coulda told you that."

---

~Cooking With So-tan~

Later, the current stream of events began in a kitchen where Shirou, Saito, and Mika were present, and in front of them was Sona along with Serafall who was once again in her magical girl attire.

"So, why are we here again?" Shirou asked.

"I invited you here because I wanted to thank you personally for saving this school and the town." Sona answered.

"And why am I here?" Saito asked.

"Because lately, you've been showing diligence in your role as a member of the Student Council and I wanted to show you my appreciation." Sona answered.

"Then why is your Sister here?" Saito asked, pointing at Serafall.

"I was visiting Sona-chan already for my own reasons so I decided to tag along." Serafall answered, upbeat as usual.

"Then why is my Sister here?" Shirou asked, pointing at Mika.

"I followed you considering I was curious about what she wanted." Mika answered. "At first, I thought she wanted to play Chess with you again after you tied her that last time."

"Eh, Shicchan tied with you in a Chess game?" Serafall's eyes widened in surprise. "Does he know that anyone who beats you at Chess becomes your—"

"Onee-sama!" Sona quickly rushed to her Older Sister and covered her mouth to stop her from finishing that sentence. "Shh, don't say anything unnecessary." She whispered with a blush.

"What are you whispering about over there?" Shirou asked.

Sona stepped back and composed herself.

"It's nothing. Anyway, to show my appreciation, I've decided to bake a cake. It's already baking in the oven."

"Hooray! You're all in for a treat, So-tan's baking is so delicious it can't be put into words."

Sona tripped slightly as she put on her apron before she turned her head. "I really wish you'd stop calling me that in front of others."

Saito turned to the Tsukiharu siblings. "You think it's really that good?"

Mika looked skeptical. "As someone who knows the joys of tasting Big Bro's baking, it'll take a lot to impress me."

"In any case, let's just give her the benefit of the doubt." Shirou decided.

DING!

"The cake's done." Sona put on some oven mitts and opened the oven. "Now all that's left are the topping."

As she reached in and pulled out the cake, it looked very well made and had a soft and fresh-looking outer layer. It looked so well done that just seeing it felt like it was enough to convince someone that it tasted good. It was like a professional had baked that cake.

"Wait, you forgot something important!" Serafall suddenly exclaimed as she got up from her seat and got everyone's attention, she then started twirling around her wand and chanting. "Merururu~Meru~Meru~Change!"

SHINE!

After saying a chant, a sparkling pink light shot out of her wand and went towards Sona. The Sitri heiress was then covered in a sizzling and pink flash that was so bright it made it hard for the others to see. Sona found herself in the middle of a costume-transforming sequence as her uniform vanished from her body along with her bra, leaving her in only shoes, socks, her glasses, her apron, and white panties.

When the sparkling light faded, Sona was able to see her current state of dress and so could the others.

[Huh?] The two Pawns became confused.

"Hmm?" Mika looked her over like she was thinking about something.

"Heehee!" Serafall finished with a pose.

"Don't "Heehee" me!" Sona snapped, gripping the hem of her apron with embarrassment. "Why did you change my uniform into THIS?!"

Serafall gave her a bright smile as she answered. "In the world of magical girls, that is the most appropriate attire for cooking!"

"Don't feed me such an obvious lie! You just wanted me to wear this for your own tastes!"

Sona accused her, completely miffed about this situation. The female Leviathan merely turned her cheek and gave her a face that said she wouldn't answer but she also didn't that accusation.

"Naked-Apron again?" Shirou muttered, sounding almost bored. "After seeing it enough times, it's starting to feel tacky."

"Not entirely so." Mika argued his opinion, looking at it differently. "It's a Naked-Apron—Panties edition. It gives off a different allure than the usual kind because this way, not just the front side, but everything important on the backside is also covered leaving things more to the imagination, so people like this version more." She described.

"Okay, thank you for that totally pointless explanation no one asked for." Saito replied sarcastically.

As they were having their conversation, Sona focused on mixing the cream she was going to spread over the cake and while she was still embarrassed, she couldn't help but notice that aside from her Sister, none of the people present seemed to care or even react to her current state of exposed and she didn't know whether to be relieved or insulted by that fact.

It wasn't long before Sona was finished decorating the cake and cut it into four slices which she served to the others on small plates. The cake itself was a one-layer, round cylinder-like sponge-cake that had pure-white vanilla-icing spread all over it with a soft texture and a tasty smell coming from it.

"It's ready, hope you enjoy it."

Sona placed a slice in front of each of them. Serafall happily picked up her silverware and cut a piece of her slice before taking her first bite. After swallowing it she looked blissful and very delighted."

"Hmm… It looks perfect on the outside."

Shirou inspected the cake and visually couldn't find a single flaw in it no matter where he looked. Deciding that any further speculation was pointless, Shirou cut himself a piece as well, so did Saito and Mika and as they all placed their forks into the pieces of cake they brought them up and at the same time, took a bite.

CRUNCH!

.

.

.

It was at this moment that all of them could tell, something was definitely wrong.

"What the Hell is this?" Saito thought through great pain in his mouth as he tried to hold back the urge to throw up. "It's hot, bitter, sour, and every other taste sensation out there melded together, but not a hint of sweetness in the mix, it's worse than what kids make!"

"How is it both rock hard and yet fluffy soft?!" Shirou thought as beads of cold sweats were perspiring all over his body, unable to comprehend the disaster he just tasted. "The bad taste somehow equals the good look, it feels like I'm eating a burnt, crunchy jawbreaker?"

"I've never tasted something so unpalatable!" Mika thought completely disgusted as her eyes became watery. "After growing up tasting Big Bro's amazing cooking, other foods have always tasted worse by comparison but this is just stupid! It's inedible! How can such an incredibly difficult to eat cake possibly exist?!"

Sona noticed the faces they were making and decided to ask. "What's wrong? Don't you like it?"

Saito put his silverware down and looked at her. "It's not that I don't like it, it's that I hate it!" He bluntly told her.

"Eh!?" Sona looked genuinely surprised at his statement as if she couldn't understand how he wouldn't like it. "What's wrong with it?"

"What wrong with it?" Mika repeated annoyed. "It's—"

Shirou stopped her and stood up. "Hang on, hang on guys, let me handle this." He looked directly at her. "Sona, have you ever tasted your own cooking?"

"Hmm? No." Sona answered, not seeing the problem. "But my Sister and my Peerage have all told me how great it tastes when they try it."

All three of them shot Serafall an accusing and irritated look. Knowing she had been caught, Serafall simply responded by shyly avoiding their gazes. Shirou then sighed and picked up his helping of the cake.

"I thought as much, most amateurs don't try their own food before serving it, but it's customary to do so you know it's good to eat. For example." Shirou then hands his plate to Sona. "Try some."

Sona takes the plate with a slice of cake on it and uses the fork to pick up a piece for herself. Now, Sona takes a bite and samples the taste of the cake herself.

CRUNCH!

Sona's face paled as she held back the urge to spit it out immediately. She coughed a bit as she tried to stop the cake from forcing its way back up her gulet after that, the High-Class Devil looked at her creation with dismay. "What is that?"

"Exactly our point." Mika informed her.

"What did you put in that cake anyway?" Saito questioned.

"I used many different various ingredients to make a cake that looked as appealing as possible." Sona answered.

"Yeah, looked, meaning you baked a cake for show, not consumption." Mika scolded her.

"But that's how I always make my cooking." Sona defended, upset by this outcome. "And everyone who's ever tried it has told me….…"

Sona suddenly paused as many different thoughts and memories went through her mind and in a moment of realization she understood what was going on and looked at the cause of all of this, as her gaze trailed to her Sister.

"Onee-sama…" Sona addressed her with obvious suspicion in her tone. "Care to explain yourself?"

"Haha…" Serafall nervously chuckled. "I don't know what you mean."

"Don't lie to me!" Sona snapped at her. "Why did you say it tasted good when you knew it was awful. On another note, why has no one told me about this until now."

Serafall now looked downwards and filed with her fingertips, like a child who had been caught misbehaving. "Well, I… I know that you loving cooking almost as much as Chess and how you only cook when you're in a good mood. I didn't want your feelings to get hurt so I told you it was good and… May have asked others to do the same."

A tick-mark appeared on Sona's brow as she was clearly angered by this news. "Are you telling me this whole time you've not only been lying to me but you also threatened anyone who ate me cooking to do the same?!"

"I didn't want you to be hurt!" Serafall whined as she attempted to defend her actions. "So-tan's really fragile on the inside and your feeling would get hurt if you found out your cooking wasn't good! I wanted to prevent that!"

"I am not a child, Onee-sama!" Sona sternly reprimanded her, not moved at all by her excuse. "Yes, I am disappointed to know I can't really cook but if I had learned that sooner, I could have worked to improve that, but I couldn't because of your usual behavior!"

As they kept going on with their argument, those on the sidelines watched with little interest.

"It's times like these that make you wonder which one is really the Older Sister." Saito noticed.

Mika looked at her Brother. "So what now? Do we leave?"

Shirou shook his head. "Not yet, there's something I have to do first."

Shirou then walked past the Sitri Sisters and went up to the counter which got Sona's attention.

"What are you doing?"

Shirou looked over the remaining ingredients. "As a self-respecting chef, I can't forgive the meal ending with such a crappy cake, I'm fixing this by making a real cake."

"Bronma's cake!" Mika squealed, very excited.

Saito shrugged. "Well, anything's gotta be better than that mess."

"Buddy, it'll blow you away." Mika assured him. "Brozori's baking is like a wonderland in your mouth, and for once I don't mean it in a sexual way."

Sona approached him. "I've heard from Rias that your cooking skills are amazingly profound, but there aren't that many ingredients left." She informed him while picking up some of the utensils.

"Don't worry, it doesn't have to be extravagant as long as it tastes good." Shirou assured her. "I just need enough essentials, a big enough mixing bowl and…" He then noticed Sona was holding a utensil and narrowed his eyes as he took it from her. "Give me that, you're not fit to hold the whisk."

With that settled, now Sona was the one sitting down and Shirou began baking. His cooking was different from Sona's as he immediately knew which ingredients he was going to use and put it all together in a swiftness so smooth it was like watching a well-oiled machine at work. In a matter of minutes, he was done making the cake and placed it in the oven for baking.

As they all sat there waiting, Mika was now acting very giddy in her seat which Sona took notice of.

"Why are you so excited?"

Mika grinned. "It's because no one here beside me has tasted his home-cooking before."

"Is it really that good?" Serafall asked curiously. "Actually, I remember Sirzechs-chan telling me how much he enjoyed it when he stayed at your house that one time." She brought up.

"Which is another way of saying he and Grayfia had a foodgasm after the taste." Mika bragged.

Saito crossed his arms. "Yeah well, unlike others I don't pay much attention to the hype, I believe it after I see it or in this case, taste it."

Mika shrugged. "Fine by me."

DING!

Once the cake was done baking, Shirou brought it out of the oven, sliced it into four servings, and put each one on a plate as he placed them in front of all of the seated Devils with their silverware.

"Shove this down your throat."

This cake was also a single-layer, round sponge-cake, but it was different from Sona's one as it was smaller in diameter and more than that, it was a chocolate cake. It was a rich dark brown color which was so well made and filled with so much care that the outer layer of the cake looked as though it was sparkling. Somehow, even with the minimal ingredients, appearance-wise, it looked as good as Sona's one, if not better.

Mika was the first one to try a bite. Once the cake entered her mouth and she swallowed she let out a blissful moan as her face melted with delight. "Aw yeah, that's the good stuff~"

The other three all did the same and simultaneously helped themselves, talking the first bite of the baked goods in front of them.

.

.

.

Their eyes went wide as a stream of favor and sweetness they had never known before permeated their tastebuds.

It was ecstasy. A double punch of incredible sweetness from the creamy goodness of the chocolate and the savory pillowy fluffiness of the cake that danced on their tongues and melted in their mouths. The chocolate had an almost masterful mix of softness and solidness that held its form before breaking apart as it went their throats. The dessert was unique in that it felt like the tastes just burst in their mouths like a just of wind in the summer, pure satisfaction. With every bite, before the three of them even noticed, they all had smiles on their faces the kept growing bright.

"Ah, dude…" Saito spoke while chewing. "I don't think even the French could beat this shit."

"Whoa!" Serafall let out a blissful sigh as she finished. "It's magical, I never thought a single cake could be this sweet and tasty."

Sona simply stared quietly at the remains of the cake on her plate. "Magical? It's actually the opposite." She thought. "He calculated the optimal number of each ingredient, as well as the exact process of how they, should be mixed, used, and prepared, and do so with perfect timing and accuracy. Unlike mine, he optimized both appearance and taste. It's similar to a master painter not missing even the smallest detail to create a work of art."

Mika grinned and nudged at Saito. "Huh, what did I tell you?"

Saito looked irked. "Gah, I hate the guy but he's good." He reluctantly admitted.

Serafall got up from her seat and went up to Shirou. "Sirzechs-chan and Grayfia-chan weren't kidding at all, you're the best chef I've seen thus far."

Shirou picked up the plates and brought them to the sink. "Was there any doubt? Don't forget who you're talking to."

"Hey, Shicchan." Shirou turned him around to face her and looked at him longly. "What would you say about becoming my personal chef?" She offered.

Shirou's first response was a look of mild annoyance. "Who the Hell is 'Shicchan'? The name's Shirou-Sama."

Serafall leaned in closer until their faces were almost touching. "If you agree to my offer, I'll call you whatever you want~"

"Not worth it." Shirou immediately turned away, focusing back on the plates.

"Muu~" Serafall pouted.

"Another cruel rejection." Mika smiled as she shook her head.

"He doesn't hold back even against a Maou." Saito commented.

As Shirou was done cleaning up his station, Sona walked up to him looking like she wanted to talk.

"Shirou, if it's not too much to ask…" Sona had a nervous expression as she spoke. "Would you mind… Teaching me how to bake?"

Shirou blinked, not expecting this request. "It's not hard to bake, just follow the recipe."

"It's not the same." Sona continued. "Up until now, I've always believed I was a genius when it came to cooking and baking was my favorite type of it, but now I know how lacking my skills actually are. That said, I still love cooking and I don't just want to be okay at it, I want to be great." She declared determinedly. "So please, teach me how."

Shirou could see that she was being serious about this request and truly wanted to learn, however, he looked away before he answered. "I'll think about it."

Sona looked up and nodded. "I suppose that's fair."

He then commented. "By the way, are you ever going to change out of that?"

As he pointed that out, Sona looked down and seemed to remember that she was only wearing an apron paired with her undergarments. It was as if being reminded of that fact reminded her of her initial embarrassment as she became flustered and blushed again.

"Why do you have to be so stingy?" Mika commented as she was beside him. "Just teach her, it'll give you chances to deepen your relationship."

"I'll do it if and when I feel like doing it." Shirou told her as they headed for the door. "That's how I do everything in life."

"You either love or you hate it, there's no middle ground with you." Mika made a snide remark as they left.

Saito made his leave as well. "Well, I don't know why I came here today, but overall I was satisfied."

With that, the only ones left were the two Pure-Blooded Devils.

"Hmm, this was fun, we should do it more often." Serafall suggested content.

"Don't act everything okay!" Sona argued, still miffed. "I'm still angry at you you know? You lied to me, you had others ie to me as well, and you made me wear this stupid outfit this whole time if it can even be called one!"

Serafall smiled at her. "Don't pretend you don't like it."

"You're dodging this issue!" Sona started to lose her temper. "And give me back my clothes already."

The female Devil King then tapped her fist into her palm as her eyes went wide. "Oh that's right, I almost forgot."

"Don't change the subject!" Sona snapped at her Sister.

Serafall ignored her and reached into her outfit as she took out a sealed envelope. "One of the reasons I came here today was because I was supposed to give Shicchan this letter that came from Sirzechs-chan."

Sona's anger immediately shifted to surprise and curiosity as she heard this information.

"From Sirzechs-sama?" Sona asked as look at the letter. "But what's it for?"

Serafall had an expression that suggested she was both excited and pleased. "Read it and find out, I bet you'll be surprised." She then handed it to her. "Could you pass it on to Shicchan for me, if you don't mind?"

Sona didn't answer as she opened the envelope and read the confines of the letter itself as read what was written on it—Just as her Sister predicted—Sona's eyes widened in surprise as she finished reading. "Eh?"

---

~To Become Lingerie~

It was nighttime in Kuoh as Asia was walking alone through the park. There was complete silence in the dead of the night, the only sound before was a breeze of wind that blew past. When suddenly, it appeared.

Arriving from seemingly out of nowhere, a large golem landed in front of Asia. It was 12ft tall, made of a dark-clay-like substance, and had glowing red dots for eyes with a wide-open mouth. It had a bulky frame with wide arms and legs, it hands only had a thumb and index finger with the rest being attached like a paw.

"Rraaaaahh!"

The golem roared at Asia who shrieked as she tried to run away only for it to shot some kind of red flash of light at her from its eyes. When the beam of light hit her, Asia took no damage, however, instead, she felt something was different.

"Iyaa!" Asia shrieked as she kneeled down and covered herself for some reason.

"Stop right there."

Before the golem could do anything else, a voice filled with authority called out which made it stop and look. Walking out in the open to confront it was none other than Rias Gremory who looked prepared to fight if necessary while having an expression that looked as though she let she had already won.

"Sona's intel was right on the money." Rias spoke as the wind blew back her hair. "A despicable demon who attacks girls in the night and steals their underwear…" She then proudly declared. "In the name of the Duke Gremory, I'll blast you away."

"Do you have to procrastinate every time we start a fight?" Another voice spoke in a more nonchalant tone. "Besides, I'm the one who'll be doing all the blasting."

This time, the one who appeared was Shirou Tsukiharu—In his combat suit—He stood beside Asia and had already drawn Dyrnwyn as he pointed it at the golem.

"That said, I'm not expecting much from whatever that mess of thing is."

"I'll pretty sure it's a golem." This time Mika appeared, right beside him, also in her fighting clothes. "Not to change the subject but, why did we have Asia be the bait for this again?"

No one answered that question as Asia tearfully looked up at Shirou. "Shirou-san, m-my underwear is gone."

"What, how?" Shirou asked, his head tilted a bit. "You look untouched."

Mika pulled on his sleeve. "Don't look now but he's carrying them in his mouth."

And just as Mika said, looking up at the golem, in its mouth were a white bra and panties combo hanging from its jaw. It didn't take an expert to tell that those belonged to Asia.

"My underwear!" Asia squealed.

"It's gonna be one of those nights, isn't it?" Shirou groaned.

Rias used magic to contact the rest of the group. "The demon took the bait. Everyone, fall in."

{Yes ma'am.}

{…Roger.}

While she was contacting Kiba and Koneko, the golem turned its sights to Rias and prepared to fire its eye beam at her this time.

"Chief-san! Watch out for that light!" Asia warned her.

Heeding Asia's warning, Rias moved quickly and was able to avoid being hit by the light.

"Wait, so that eye laser removes the underwear without damaging the body?" Shirou realized, sounding vexed. "What kinda gag power is that?"

Mika thought out loud. "Think it could teach me that move?"

ZAP!

Thunder crackled around the golem from above as appearing from the sky overhead was Akeno who had just fired a spell, beside her was Xenovia who was holding Durandal in her hands.

"Ara, Ara. Leave some for us now."

"It's after women's underwear, just like we were told." Rias informed them. "Stay sharp."

The golem looked up at the new arrivals and stopped as he gazed intently at Rias then Akeno, then Xenovia as if it was scanning them. Afterward, it reached out and made a grab for Xenovia. Xenovia responded by closing in and grabbing the hilt of her Sword.

"Haa!" Xenovia swung Durandal at the golem's arm and easily hacked it off.

"Hmm, looks like it's not that strong." Shirou noticed. "Once large attack 'atta finish it."

"In that case…" Akeno prepared another Thunder spell.

"…Let's finish this!" Rias summoned a magic-circle.

However, before they could fire, Asia cried out in protest. "Y-You guys, my underwear is in its mouth!"

Seeing that, Akeno immediately powered down her magic while still smiling. "Ara, Ara. We can't attack willy-nilly now, can we?"

Xenovia moved back, not willing to attack now she clicked her tongue. "What now?"

"Are guys kidding me right now!" Shirou snapped at them.

Once they had ceased their offense, the golem roared again as, from its body, dozens of tentacle-like arms shot out from its body and dashed towards the girls and they wrapped themselves and Rias and Asia and lifted them up in the air along with Xenovia and Akeno who were already tied up.

Before they could reach Mika though, Shirou slashed the tentacles into pieces, which kept her safe as the Tsukiharu siblings looked up at their captured comrades.

"Again?" Rias noted as this wasn't the first time they were in this situation.

"Help us?!" Asia cried out.

Shirou and Mika didn't look too concerned though as Mika analyzed their predicament. "Tentacles again huh? I'm sensing a pattern here."

Shirou merely frowned at them. "You know, they kinda deserve this for choosing to not attack all for the sake of some stupid undergarments." He then turned to the golem. "But I'm sick of this thing already, so I'm ending it." He pointed Dyrnwyn at the golem and fired his attack.

FIRE BLADE!

The blade ignited into flames and those flames shot out like a flamethrower that scorched towards the golem. At the same time, a cloaked figure jumped in from out of nowhere and with a wave of her hand, a whip-like flash of light sliced through the air and cut apart the tentacles, freeing the girls as Shirou's fire spell hit the golem's head and burned it to the ground as the flames began to consume the rest of its body.

As the girls floated down to the ground, Xenovia looked the most surprised by the new arrival.

"That technique?" Xenovia spoke with recognition.

"The reports were correct, I see." The cloaked figure noted as the weapon she used to attack with shrunk down and wrapped around her arm like a rope.

"Excalibur Mimic?" Xenovia realized.

"Long time no see." She pulled down the hood of her cloak to reveal herself as Irina Shidou. "Well, maybe not that long." Irina then smiled at all of them. "Hello, every one of the Gremorys."

"Irina?" Xenovia said surprised to see her here.

"Yeah, Xenovia, Irina." Shirou told her as if she was a child. "You know the girl you used to be partners with, you think you'd recognize her."

"It was pretty obvious." Mika agreed.

"Huh, you knew it was me right away?" Irina asked, disappointed. "But I came in all mysterious-like."

"In what why? You're Aura and fighting style was the exact same as before."

"And you were wearing the exact same cloak you always wear. Who else could you be?" Mika pointed out.

Irina pouted. "You two are never impressed.

---

Once the fighting was over, Asia was teary looking over the remains of the golem which was nothing more than a pile of ashes and cinders, her sadness came from the fact that this meant that her underwear had also been burnt to nothing along with the golem. She then faced Shirou.

"S-Shirou-san! You burned away my underwear!" Asia cried out in dismay.

"Asia…" Shirou placed his hands on her shoulders and looked at her seriously. "From the bottom of my heart… I don't care."

Meanwhile, the others were conversing with Irina.

"I don't suppose you came here for a friendly visit?" Rias reasoned. "It's the demon, isn't it?"

"That's correct." Irina confirmed. "But precisely, it's the demon's master that is my target. He is known as the Legendary Sage."

"I've heard of this Sage." Xenovia informed them. "The Church has been after him for years."

"And since I used to live around here, they deployed me."

Rias looked slightly unsure. "But someone called the "Legendary Sage" stealing underwear?"

"I know. But I was ordered, so now I'm here." Irina summarized.

Shirou sighed. "I remember a time when the word Legendary was reserved for truly great people like Eddie Futch and Arie Selinger? Nowadays, it's just a decoration people use to exaggerate themselves." He complained.

"You can't be sure of that." Xenovia denied. "The Church wouldn't have been chasing him for so long if he wasn't a threat."

Shirou still looked unconvinced. "The Church, if you hadn't noticed is a terrible judge of character."

"Still, I'm surprised." Mika addressed Irina and smiled. "From hunting Excalibur fragments to hunting underwear thieves, you've really gone down in the world."

"That's not true!" Irina argued while her cheeks blushed a bit. "I have my own reasons for being here!"

"What reasons?" Mika asked skeptically. "Why would you personally go from Vatican City in Italy all the way to a town in Japan, armed with an Excalibur just to catch one guy who's apparently been wanted for years already?"

"W-Well…" Irina became nervous at Mika's profiling and timidly looked away before saying. "Anyway! He's just a sex offender that needs to be caught!" She proclaimed.

"She totally dodged the question." Shirou noted.

Mika didn't look bothered. "It's okay, I'm pretty sure I know the answer already."

Rias then held open her palm as a communication-spell from Kiba was activated.

{Chief, Gasper-kun has detected traces of magic in a certain location.}

Rias nodded and addressed the others. "Everyone, let's go."

---

The group was joined by Kiba, Koneko, Gasper, and Ren as they made their way to the location where the so-called 'Legendary Sage' could be found. The location in question just happened to be the old abandon building where they had fought the Stray Devil Viser and where they fought Freed during the Holy Sword incident.

"Ah, so this is the place?" Kiba overlooked the building.

"…Seems pretty cliche." Koneko commented.

"It's like a hotspot for our enemies at this point." Ren agreed.

"I'm more surprised the place is still standing." Shirou added.

The group walked inside and went passed all the damaged rooms and destroyed furniture as they searched for the spot the Sage was hiding in. Gasper turned into a flock of bats and searched more ground by himself.

"No one's home?" Asia looked around.

One of Gasper's bats approached them and spoke. "There's a door sealed with magic farther in."

As they followed they bat the group soon arrived in front of a large door that had strange markings all around it, centered by an unfamiliar magic-circle.

"This is it, then?" Rias wondered as Akeno approached the door.

Shirou looked back at Ren. "Confirm it?"

Ren nodded and used his Senjutsu to search for any living aura's that might be through the door, after a second he stopped. "It's there, I can sense a Human's Ki on the other side of the door."

"In that case, all we have to do is open in."

As Akeno said those words, she placed her hand in front of the door and summoned a magic-circle that caused all the markings on the door to light in with bright colors before it all converged into the magic circle in the center which made the whole door brighten up. After the light show was over, the door opened up.

Akeno looked back at Rias. "I'll stay here and keep watch. There's no guarantee this man only controls one demon."

"Good idea." Rias agreed. "Yuuto, Asia, stay here with her."

"Okay." Asia accepted while Kiba nodded.

"Alright, let's see who the weirdo of the day is this time." Shirou said as he walked through the door.

"Honestly, I'm just curious to see how this goes." Ren followed.

---

After going through the door, the group consisting of six Devils, a Youkai, and a Human Exorcist walked down a long flight of stairs that went downwards before sloping to the side. At the bottom of the stairway was quiet and dreary, it seemed as rundown as the rest of the building. On the wall, there was a cage-styled gate-like doorway that was partly open.

The group approached the door and poked their heads through to see what was on the other side. What they saw was a small lab with a table that had beckers and test-tubes on it that were filled with unknown chemicals. But what they were paying attention to was what was behind the table, or in this case, who.

Standing there was a man who looked late in his years, he had gray hair, gray eyes, and wrinkles on his brow, the man wore square-lensed glasses and his attire consisted of black plain-looking clothes underneath a long light-brown robe with a wide collar. What they were paying attention to was what the man was doing, which currently was looking over different types of bras and panties.

"Another useless find." The man complained, looking over a black bra. "The wiring is so cheap." He tossed it aside and this time picked a pair of light-purple panties. "Now, this is beautiful." He admired it as he placed it in an open briefcase that had other underwear in it already.

"That's the Legendary Sage?" Rias asked quietly.

"Yes. Without a doubt." Irina confirmed.

"But he's just doing what any underwear thief would do." Ren pointed out. "All he's doing is sorting and collecting the ones he likes."

Rias narrowed her eyes. "I doubt it's a mere 'collection'. He's trying to transmute with the underwear as a catalyst."

"Alchemy?" Gasper questioned which Rias nodded to in confirmation.

"Awww."

Mika slumped in sadness as disappointment which Shirou noticed.

"What's wrong with you?"

Mika looked up at him tiredly. "Ever since I became a Devil, I've always been looking forward to the day where I would meet an Alchemist, and now that I have, he's just a dirty old man who's transmuting stolen underwear." She leaned on him. "I'm so depressed."

Shirou was blunt. "I haven't any sympathy for your depression nor the patience to pretend otherwise."

"You're so mean." Mika complained.

They focused their attention back on the Sage who looked impressed. "Oh! Now, this is fantastic!" He held up a black-lacy bra.

Irina gasped when she saw that specific one. "Ah! That's—"

"Aren't those yours?" Xenovia noticed.

"I knew it." Mika crossed her arms.

"Huh, I thought they'd be white?" Shirou admitted.

"T-They aren't!" Irina denied, with embarrassment as she tried to save face.

"Nope, they are." Ren argued casually. "The bra has your scent."

"That confirms it." Shirou decided.

"Anyways!" Irina desperately changed the subject. "Can you imagine how many girls this man has shamed in gathering his underwear trove? We can't let him keep this up."

"Indeed. We can't just walk away now." Rias agreed.

The Legendary Sage soon lifts up his briefcase of lingerie and walks over to a part of the floor that has a large transmutation circle imprinted on it as he kneels down and arranges the lingerie on the circle intricately. While he's doing that, the group enters the lab and walks right up to him.

"That's quite the collection you've got there, underwear thief." Rias addressed him confidently. "Or should I call you Legendary Sage?"

"Or you could call him Pervy Sage?" Shirou suggested.

"Definitely not." Mika shook her head. "There's only one Pervy Sage, and this guy can't compare to his level of greatness."

The Legendary Sage seemed more concerned with arranging his lingerie collection than facing the people behind him. "I see. You were the rats sneaking around in the shadows." He spoke calmly as a placed every bra on top of a matching pair of panties. "What do you want? Have you come to nobly donate your underwear to my great experiment?"

"Don't be ridiculous. You've certainly had your fun in my territory." Rias said with a glare.

Irina and Xenovia stepped forward as Xenovia proclaimed. "You filthy heathen and practitioner of dark arts."

"I have been ordered by the Church to bring you in." Irina finished as both she and Xenovia raised their Holy Swords. "My Excalibur shall strike you where you stand! Amen!" Irina and Xenovia then stood back to back which she took notice of. "Hey, we're totally in sync."

Xenovia smiled at that. "Reminds me of the old days."

Irina smiled back. "You got that right."

"The Holy Sword Excalibur?" The Sage recognized but still didn't seem concerned. "Sheath your brutish weapon. I was once of the Church, you know?"

"Is that true?" Rias asked.

"Yes, it is." Irina answered.

Shirou raised a brow and shrugged. "Well, I guess this is slightly better than touching little boys in a closet."

"I'll thank you not to compare me to those stereotypes." The Sage complained as he reached for more lingerie. "In my youth, I unwaveringly believed my faith in God was all that was important. "Reject your desires", "Serve the Church", "Love unconditionally". Those were my creed." He then looked up and remembered fondly. "But one day, I had a brush with… Heavenly soft… Breasts!"

"You mean you tripped, brushed your arm against a boob, and became a boob-man?" Shirou summarized, talking as though he was speaking to an idiot.

"Exactly!" The Sage emotionally confirmed. "I could never regain my chaste mind after that. Why would God forbid us from something so wonderful? Why had I never fondled a breast before? Why had no one ever told me about the loveliness of a woman?" He asked in turmoil. "But beyond the suffering lay… My God, the God of Perversion!"

(What are breasts if not to be cradled?)

(What are panties if not to be prized?)

"Oh, God!" The Sage praised in worship. "That was it! I immersed myself in research, as instructed by the God of Perversion. The Church persecuted me as a heathen, but I hid myself and continued my work! All to reach the zenith of my God's teachings!"

"Are you done monologuing?"

"Oh Rias, these people are never done monologuing." Mika informed her.

Shirou just stepped forward. "Yeah okay, that's possible, or maybe just maybe… Growing up in a sheltered environment like the Church forced you to pent up all of your sexual urges and that incident made all your repressed sexual needs burst up so much that your mind couldn't handle it all and caused you to become a bit delusion." He spoke to him in a quiet and careful manner. "Just a theory."

The Sage fixed his glasses and stared at him. "Are you saying you think I'm not in my right mind?"

"Look, when people are faced with new feelings and experiences in life, and they have no idea how to deal with them, their cognition usually ends up taking a turn and they tend to lose their grasps on common sense." Shirou explained to him. "This seems to be especially true for people who grew up in the Church. For example, Xenovia turned to a Devil for a new life and has been constantly been asking for a baby."

Irina's eyes widened as she looked at her former partner. "Wait, is that last part true?"

"Hmm, what's wrong with that?" Xenovia asked, not seeing the problem.

Everyone sweated a bit at her response and Rias said. "You know, he may actually have a point."

"Anyways, as much as I love braking faces and punching people, even I can tell you need help." Shirou told him. "So why don't you just step away from the underwear and we can get you a therapist, or maybe a team of therapists." He whispered the last part.

"What foolishness." The Sage scoffed as he faced them and held out his hand. "Bare-witness to the truth I have found of my path of loneliness."

FLASH!

Suddenly, Koneko's uniform shined in a purple glow for a second before it burst apart into tatters, causing the outer later of her clothes to be blown away, leaving her in her underwear—Seafoam green color with yellow and purple polka dots.

"Koneko-chan!" Gasper gasped in concern.

Koneko covered herself. "…I'm fine." She assured him before glaring at the Sage. "…But, that's a disgusting technique."

"I agree." Shirou cringed. "What kinda dork invents a technique specifically made for stripping women?"

"Actually, it's kind of similar to the Exarmatio technique from the Negima series." Mika pointed out. "But you know, without sneezing."

"That's not all!" The Sage then waved his arms and summoned a transmutation circle in front of him as his eyes started glowing and he gazed at the girls. "The redhead is donned in… Purple underwear, I see." Rias became surprised. "The Girl with the highlight in her hair has…" The Sage scoffed at Xenovia. "Hmph, plain and unmatched. You should pay more attention to fashion when you're young.

"H-How did you know?" Xenovia asked, blushing.

"Obviously because he has X-ray vision." Mika deduced knowingly. "He's seeing through outer clothes to peer at underwear."

"Mika, get behind me." Shirou hastily stood in front of his Sister.

"What about us?" Irina asked out loud.

"What about you Irina?" Shirou replied with little care.

The Sage then moved onto Irina. "And what underwear is the warrior from the Church wearing?" Irina became nervous and covered herself through her battle-suit. "What?" The Sage became surprised and pointed accusingly at her. "Are you not wearing any underwear?!"

"Oh, that's what about her." Mika realized.

"Suppose that makes sense." Shirou scratched his chin.

"Th-This uniform requires that you don't have underwear on to use it!" Irina protested with embarrassment. "I normally wear underwear like everyone else!"

"Why are you acting so desperate?" Shirou asked, dismissively. "What do you think we care about what you've got underneath? There are more important things to be concerned about."

"Now, now, Dear Brother, you should be more considerate." Mika told him passively. "Any girl would get defensive if her secret preferences were suddenly exposed."

"I don't have secret preferences!" Irina insisted upset.

"By the way…" The Sage spoke up. "I can still see you even if you're hiding behind that Silver-haired youth." He informed them before checking. "You're wearing…" He then looked perplexed, in a different way from the reaction he had from Irina. "Wait, is that a…Second layer of clothing?"

"Kuhaha! Close but not quite." Mika chuckled with a superior looking grin. "You see before we arrived at this location to face you, I used magic to place this beneath my clothes, it's a full-body unitard."

"U-Unitard?" The Sage repeated, taken aback.

"Correct." Mika went on. "From seeing how your golem was able to shoot beams that could immediately remove a woman's underwear and take it, I know that the creator of that thing would be bound to have the same. if not a similar power. My solution, wear something that counts as an inner layer of clothing and yet not classified as underwear." She then pointed to him victoriously. "Your techniques have been bested!"

The Sage grit his teeth in frustration. "I didn't think I'd be facing someone of your caliber in this town, seems I took you people too lightly."

"You're amazing, Mika-san!" Gasper cheered.

"…Gya-kun, please don't take them seriously." Koneko advised him.

"Hmph, but you've made a mistake." The Sage accused her. "With my power, I can simply strip off that unitard!"

DOOON!

The instant he uttered those words, a pillar of bloodlust erupted from Shirou's being and his eyes were glowing red with killing intent as he stood in front of his little Sister protectively while aiming one of his hands at him as if he would fire at any moment.

"You Even Try To Point That Hand At My Sister And I'll Destroy You Down To The Atom…" He threatened him with a dark and murderous tone.

The Sage felt a cold sweat drop down his brow as he put his hand down without saying anything. Which the others took notice of.

"I see, her defense for that technique was Shirou himself." Rias noted.

"…First and foremost, Sempai is a Big Brother." Koneko commented while hiding behind Gasper to preserve her modesty.

"And Mika certainly knows how to defend herself with that fact." Ren added.

"Well, you can't fault her for being prepared."

They all turned about to see Azazel walking up to them after they heard his voice.

"Azazel?" Shirou noticed, putting his arm down.

"What are you doing here?" Rias questioned.

"I've been keeping tabs on that man as well." Azazel admitted with a hand on his chin. "I'm here to see the results of this experiment."

"I don't think this 'experiment' is something you'll be interested in?" Rias pointed out.

"Not unless you're interested in Alchemic teachings of the "God of Perversion"." Shirou added sarcastically.

"This man is the closest to creating a Philosopher's Stone." Azazel informed them.

"The Philosopher's Stone?"

Rias repeated his claim with surprise as most of them looked back at the Sage with surprised expressions. Azazel chose to continue his explanation.

"The Philosopher's Stone, an item that no one has been able to successfully transmute. This experiment may offer us a glimpse at the key to its completion." Azazel told them before ordering. "Don't interfere."

Shirou narrowed his eyes at Azazel. "Who do you think you're trying to order around Azazel? Do you want me to kill you?"

Azazel gave him a lighthearted expression. "Come on, be reasonable for a change. This may be our only chance to see a successful transmutation of a Philosopher's Stone."

Shirou looked over at Mika. "Do you think this could work?"

"It's ridiculous." Mika immediately answered as if it wasn't worth considering. "The Philosopher's Stone is the crowning achievement to any Alchemist. If all it took to make one was transmuting some frilly unmentionables, the whole Fullmetal Alchemist fanbase would rage quit on the spot."

"How dare you!" The Legendary Sage addressed her annoyed. "I am a real Alchemist, you can't compare me to some silly kids sho—"

DOOON!

This time, before he could finish talking, a pillar of bloodlust erupted from Mika's body and her eyes were glowing purple with killing intent as she faced him and spoke with a dark and murderous tone as she pointed her hand at him.

"You Even Think Of Finishing That Sentence And They'll Never Find Your Body…"

"Her too?!" The Sage stepped back, dumbstruck.

"Arguably, when she's triggered, Mika-chan can be more threatening than Shirou-kun." Kiba pointed out with a nervous smile.

"In any case." Azazel chimed in. "I'll make sure the kids don't get in your way, so proceed."

The Sage nodded and went back to his transmutation circle where he continued to arrange lingerie around it. By the time he was done sorting out the underwear, he stood up, held out his arms, and began chanting in the center.

"Panties, shorts, scanty, bustier, camisole, sports bra, front hook, thong, g-string, tube top, t-bag, string-tie, basque!"

As he chanted different types of ladies wear, the transmutation circle lit up beneath his feet and the lingerie floated up in the air as it circled around him as though they were rotating, however, as he finished the light from the circle dimed before it died down and all the lingerie fell back on the floor. Nothing had come of this transmutation.

"It didn't work Mr. Real Alchemist." Shirou noted, looking unimpressed.

"Looking pretty disgraceful right now." Mika informed him, also unimpressed.

"Wow, those two sure don't hold back." Irina noticed.

Ren scratched his head. "It is kinda disappointed that nothing happened though."

The Sage then reached into his robe and took out a book which he opened and skimmed through the pages.

"Is that a recovery grimoire?" Xenovia wondered.

"Will you keep up?" Mika scolded her. "It's an erotic magazine."

"Or it could be the Holy-book of the "God of Perversion"?" Shirou jokingly suggested.

After finding a certain page, the Sage unfolds it and looks intently at the picture before nodding in confirmation. "Okay."

The circle lights up again and the lingerie floats up off the ground once more as the Sage beings a prayer.

"My Lord. The God of Perversion, this is the ultimate answer shown to me by you. I aim to become underwear!" He proclaimed as the lingerie rotated faster. "If I would spend my days fantasizing about breasts and butts, then why not become that which cradles them constantly? By becoming underwear, I shoot for the zenith in perversion!"

"So the Legendary Sage's research was to turn himself into underwear?" Rias asked, sounding uncomfortable.

"That's right. An ex-Priest of the Church trying to turn himself into underwear? He shames us like no other." Irina accused.

"And that's why you were charged with striking him down, huh?" Rias figured.

"What kind of messed up people does the Church have?" Shirou asked with a cringe.

"This is starting to feel like something that actually needs to be addressed." Mika agreed with his sentiment. "I'm concerned about how many mentally unwell people the Church has right now."

"True, I'd hate to think what have kinds of nutjobs we'll have to deal with if later down the road." Ren added with a grievance.

As the transmutation was almost complete, the underwear started to gather around and placed itself around the body of the Sage. However, just like before the light died down and the underwear bounced back from his body and back onto the floor.

"Wha—?" The Sage gasped in shock.

"FAIL!" Mika shouted. "Worse than the first!"

"I'd say stop and salvage whatever dignity you have left, but it's clearly too late for that." Shirou added disinterested.

The Sage clenched his fists and looked up grimaced. "It's still missing something!" He cursed. "I require more stimulation…" His eyes then shot open as he realized what it was. "Panties!" He then to Rias. "Yes! Show me your panties!"

Shirou facepalmed. "Oh, would you give it up already?!"

"I agree." Rias added, equally as fed up. "Besides, can't you see through clothing?"

"This ritual requires my full concentration!" The Sage informed them, still serious. "I cannot use any other techniques!"

Mika rolled her eyes. "Well, congratulations, the "Truth that you found on your path of loneliness" is now worthless." She pointed out, now over this. "Besides, Koneko's already in her underwear, why not just look at her?"

"It's not the same!" The Sage completely rejected that idea. "I need something much more stimulating, I need to see someone else's panties!"

Koneko became slightly miffed at his complete dismissal of her and narrowed her eyes at him.

"…Fine, have Gya-kun's."

Koneko pulled down Gasper's pants to show that he was also wearing panties. "Iyaa!" He shrieked.

"Wha— Th—THAT'S A GUY!" The Sage yelled in horror before losing control.

SHIIIIINNNNEEEE!

Suddenly the transmutation circle lit up again, this time is a blinding pink light with sparks of lighting around it that covered the age before a pillar of pink light burst out from the ground and started to consume him.

"The ritual is going haywire!" Xenovia realized with horror.

"Hit the deck!" Shirou shouted.

"I CAN'T CONTAIN IITTTT!" The Sage bellowed before he was fully consumed.

---

BOOOOOM!

The result was a large explosion that consumed the whole room and affected the building. Everyone inside quickly ran outside, including the three who were standing guard outside the room and as they went outside, the roof of the building was blown off, and out from it was the result of the experiment.

The Sage, just as he set out to do had become lingerie. A giant pair of lingerie which was made from many, many other pairs of underwear that had merged to create an enormous floating white bra and panties combo, with the bra acting as eyes and the panties acting as a mouth and layers of more underwear which connected the two.

"What is that?" Asia asked afraid.

"He lost control and the ritual failed." Azazel answered. "The Sage reaps what he's sown."

Shirou just stared up as his eye twitched. "…Gasper?" He uttered, getting the Vampire's attention before saying. "Whhyyy?!"

"Y-You told me I couldn't wear girls' clothes anymore so I stopped, b-but I thought it would be okay if it were only underwear…" Gasper meekly attempted to defend himself. "I never intend for anyone to see them."

Shirou groaned. "How's that working out?" He asked sarcastically.

Xenovia glared at the lingerie Sage in the sky. "Irina, capturing him now will be difficult."

"Indeed." Irina agreed. "We'll just have to cut him down."

[Cut me down?!] The Sage's voice echoed as he spoke in this form. [Don't underestimate me, little girls!]

WHOOSH!

The lingerie Sage activated his powers as a transparent shockwave was released from his and shot out towards the others.

The first to fall victim to this technique was Rias when, just like Koneko before her, her clothes suddenly burst apart like confetti, leaving her in her underwear as well.

"What?" Rias gasped in surprise at the loss of her clothes.

"Oh no!" Irina shrieked as she jumped back a few feet.

"Nope!" Mika did the same a flew away out of range and into the woods.

Unfortunately, Xenovia couldn't do the same in time as she was also caught by the technique and her uniform was also blown away, exposing her pall green bra and white panties with black lining. "What the?!"

"Ara, Ara!" Akeno muttered as her black lingerie was exposed after her clothes were ripped apart.

"Iyaaa!" Asia shrieked louder than the others because unlike the rest, she wasn't wearing underwear beneath her uniform and once it was torn to shreds, she was left completely Naked and desperately covered herself.

[Now my brethren, heed me!] The lingerie Sage called out.

"H-Hey! My bra's moving!" Rias shouted with worry.

The lingerie Sage used his power to take command of her bra and controlled it almost magnetically. Akeno found herself also being a victim of this dilemma as her bra was also being controlled as the two bras pulled their wearers towards each other while still being attached to their chests as the bras met and tied themselves together. This naturally meant that Rias and Akeno were forcibly smooshed into each other by their breasts.

"Hey, Akeno!?" Rias cried out.

Then the same thing happened to Koneko and Xenovia's bras as they were both pulled forward and went towards Asia. The Naked Blonde soon found herself sandwiched on both sides with Koneko being pushed into her front and Xenovia being pushed into her back.

"Akeno, what are you doing?" Rias asked uncomfortably as their bodies were being rubbed up against each other.

"Ara, Ara~ What a problem." Akeno noted but didn't look all that uncomfortable as her body was rubbing up against Rias'.

"…This is actually kind of mortifying." Koneko complained as her body was rubbing up against Asia's front.

"I-I'm sorry!" Asia whined as she felt her body being rubbed from both sides.

"Damn! His magic is truly fearsome!" Xenovia cursed as her body was rubbing up against Asia's backside.

Shirou and Ren hung back and took in everything that they were looking at.

"Wow… I can never unsee this." Ren said emotionlessly.

"Yeah, it's like the start of one of those over the top pornos." Shirou added, not sounding very concerned.

"Haaaahh!" Kiba roared as he brought out his Sword of Betrayer and jumped in the air to try and slicing the living lingerie.

The Sage used his powers to launch a bra at Kiba which attached itself to his face and covered his eyes.

"Augh, can't see!?" Kiba vexed before crashing into the ground.

"Are you kidding, man!" Shirou snapped at him. "First the slimes now this?!"

Gasper stepped forward. "I-I guess it's up to me to freeze the Sage in time—" Sadly, before Gasper could activate his Sacred Gear, a pair of panties attached themselves to his face and covered his eyes, preventing him from stopping time. "Now I can't stop time!" He cried out.

"…Gya-kun, you're useless." Koneko stoically told him.

"Koneko-chan, you're so mean!" Gasper whined before running off.

Shirou rolled his eyes. "But she's not wrong."

Kiba struggled to get up after hitting the ground. "Damn, if only I could see."

Shirou facepalmed. "This is becoming pathetic to watch."

"Does this happen a lot?" Ren asked, confused at seeing everyone struggle like this.

"Unfortunately." Shirou confirmed before explaining. "Every time we face weird opponents like this, everyone else ends up being totally useless."

"Hold it, that's not true!" Rias argued, feeling insulted.

"The slimes, the Mummy, the plant Chimera, the golem." Shirou reminded her.

Akeno chuckled a bit. "Well, he's got us there."

"You forgot about me, vile Sage!" This time, Irina jumped up in the air and went to slash at the Sage with her Excalibur.

[It is pointless!] The Sage bellowed at her.

Irina continued and prepared to strike. "In the name of God, I smite you! Amen!"

After saying her prayer, she came down and slashed at the giant lingerie, but before her blade could reach him, the lingerie split apart in the middle and separated itself down the path of her Sword, causing Irina's Sword to miss its mark. After that, the giant lingerie reconnected itself again.

[You who stand in the face of underwear…] The Sage began.

"No fair." Irina complained.

The Sage finished. [Begone!]

"Uwa!"

Irina shrieked as, just like the others, her clothes were destroyed as well, and just like with Asia, she was without underwear so now, she was left Stark Naked and kneeling on the ground as she covered her shame.

"Come on! You knew what his powers were, what did you expect would happen?" Shirou asked her, now very annoyed.

A bead of sweat fell from the back of Ren's head as he thought. "Why am I now having trouble believing these people have ever won a fight?"

[Hmm, you're…] The lingerie Sage stopped as if he noticed something. [I see. You're her.]

"He remembered?" Irina whispered.

[Your underwear was quite heavenly.] The Sage told her before the giant panties that made up his mouth opened up and revealed a glowing ball of light inside with the center of that light being Irina's lingerie. [It became the basis for my experiment. Be honored.]

"Really? That one bra was all it took?" Ren asked with half-lidded eyes.

"Now I'm sure of it!" Xenovia pointed at it. "That one is Irina's favorite!"

"Why is that important?" Shirou asked, raising a brow.

"She's right." Irina admitted as she got up. "Not a day goes by that I'm not eaten away from shame when he stole my underwear!" She proclaimed. "I forced myself onto your case because of that as well!"

"You do all this just for that?!" Shirou asked, not seeing any logic in that decision. "Would it have been too much to have just brought another pair?!"

"It wouldn't be the same!" Irina insisted, not even considering it. "I have to take back what he stole from me to erase the shame!" She then turned back to the Sage and used one hand to point her weapon at him and used the other to cover her loins. "Now give me back my lovelies!"

"Okay, I've heard enough." Shirou aimed his hand at the lingerie Sage. "Ren, flame on, we're burning him down."

Ren shrugged and aimed his hand as well. "Works for me."

"W-Wait, if you do that you'll burn my underwear as well!" Irina wailed, hoping to stop them.

"Oh, I just wish I understand why…" Shirou shook his head in distraught. "Why I should care?"

The Devil Pawn and the Wolf-Youkai both created a fireball in the palms of their hands and prepared to fire but before they could, Irina now stood in front of them with her Sword raised.

"I won't let you!" Irina said loudly, though still embarrassed as she blushed. "I came all the way to Japan to get my favorite underwear back, I won't let you bun them!"

"You cannot be serious?" Ren looked like he had just heard a bad joke.

"What is wrong with you people?" Shirou sounded like he was having a migraine.

[Girl.] The lingerie Sage addressed Irina. [I have absorbed enough magic power. If you want them back, then have them.]

As he said those words, the underwear flew out of his mouth and wrapped itself around Irina's wrist like handcuffs. "Oh no." She spoke.

"Well… At least he gave them back." Ren noted.

"I got it! Everyone!" Rias addressed all the girls who were struck. "Quickly, take off your underwear!"

"That sounds so wrong out of context." Ren commented.

[Naive!] The Sage mocked them as he activated his powers again.

This time, Rias and Akeno's bras flew off of their chests which set them for a moment, they then returned and wrist around their wrists like Irina's, only their arms were behind their backs. Right after, the same thing happened to Koneko and Xenovia who were freed from Asia. Now Koneko's bra wrapped itself around Koneko and Asia's wrists, tying them together, back-to-back, while Xenovia's bra tied her hands together above her head.

At this point, Ren seemed a little stoic. "I mean, this looks kinda hot but, I don't know, I'm starting to get bored of this. Does that make sense?"

"Meh, being Naked is a common occurrence for the girls of this Peerage nowadays." Shirou informed him. "Even I stop feeling it after a while."

"Shirou, don't just stare!" Rias complained to him. "One of you do something!"

"Well, if no one is going to interfere anymore?" Shirou bitterly aimed that last part at Irina who looked sheepish. "Let's do the burning it plan."

"On it." Ren nodded as they raised their hands again.

[Get real!] The lingerie Sage shouted out. [I won't let you!]

WHOOOSH!

Once again the lingerie Sage activated his powers and this time, the girls were levitated into the air by their underwear and pulled toward the giant lingerie that was the Sage in his current form. As they were pulled in, they were all stuck into the giant lingerie and all their bodies were attached to different parts. Koneko and Xenovia were on the bra straps, Irina was on the bra, Asia and Akeno were on the panties, and Rias was on the center of it the whole thing.

"I can't move!" Rias struggled.

[I want to cradle them!] The Sage proclaimed. [Breasts, women… I want to cradle them all!]

"I-I'm being…" Asia soon found her body being sucked into the lingerie like quicksand.

The same was happening to Xenovia. "Swallowed…"

"I can't use my Demonic-power!" Akeno murmured as she surfaced the same fate.

"It's absorbing our strength!" Rias realized as she was also being consumed. "At this rate…"

"What now?" Shirou griped in frustration. "Now we can't burn it without being the girls."

"Well, let's try another magic. What about water?" Ren suggested.

"I'm pretty sure magic lingerie is water-proof."

"Earth?"

"Throwing rocks won't help here."

"Wind?"

"I'd slice it but them too?"

"Lightning?"

"It'd zap them as well."

"What about Swordsmanship?" Ren gave a final suggestion.

"Unfortunately, my Sword-Skills aren't at the level where I can make it potent enough to do real damage to that thing while also having enough pinpoint precision to avoid cutting the girls." Shirou admitted, stumped.

Meanwhile, Azazel just sighed with disappointment. "Guess there's no hope for a Philosopher's Stone now."

"That's not the—There was never any hope for that—That's not the issue here!" Shirou addressed Azazel as the girls were now fully inside the lingerie Sage. "We need to figure something out."

Azazel shrugged his shoulders. "What do you want me to do? I just as puzzled on finding a solution as you guys are."

"Usually Mika would come up with a plan right now.…" Ren pointed out before he paused and noticed something. "Wait… Where is Mika?"

.

.

.

Shirou blinked as if seemed as though he just now noticed that Mika had been gone for quite some time.

"Son of a—How did we not notice until now?" Shirou snapped.

"Kuhahaha!"

Cocky laughter was heard from the sky as they looked up and saw Mika reappear as she slowly descended and floated a few meters away from the lingerie Sage and slightly higher than him.

"Did someone call my name?" She asked rhetorically.

"Where were you?" Ren asked accusingly.

"Getting everything ready." Mika answered before facing the lingerie Sage with confidence. "Now you floating pile of laundry, witness me best you again."

[Hmph, foolishness!] The Sage brushed off her calms. [You may have beaten my techniques before, but now that I have become underwear, I have found the true answer that I have been seeking, nothing can stop me!]

"Nothing except… THIS!" Mika opened her palm towards him and gathered a deep red stream of magic in her hand.

EXTERMINATION RAY!

The magic blasted out like a huge beam of light that shot from her hand and encompassed the entire form of the lingerie Sage in a stream of glowing red light. It didn't seem to do any damage and he looked unharmed when being hit by the ray, but when the light cleared, the glowing outline of magic surrounding his lingerie form suddenly disappeared.

[Wh-What?!] The Sage gasped in disbelief. [This can't be!]

The reason for his horror soon revealed itself as the large combined amalgamation of underwear that made up his body started to lose its stable form and some of the underwear began falling off. It only continued from there as the thing burst apart and fell to the ground, returning back into just an ordinary pile of underwear.

From the large pile, the girls started climbing out of it one by one, now free—Though still Naked—But surprised at their sudden freedom.

"What happened?" Xenovia asked, confused.

"I'm not sure." Irina replied, just as lost.

Soon the Sage also climbed out of the pile, back in his Human form—And thankfully still dressed—As he was perplexed and angered at this turn of events.

"Aaaahhaa!" Shirou charged.

Unfortunately for the Sage, he didn't have much time to process any of this as the moment Shirou saw his face and the fact that he was now defenseless, he immediately acted and charged at him before punching him in the face so hard it sent him flying into the wall of the building behind him.

CRASH!

After hitting the wall, the Sage slumped over, unconscious and defeated. Seeing that, Mika raised her fist in the air and declared. "In Heaven's Steed! I Smite Clothing!"

"You're a Devil, you can't do anything in Heaven's steed." Azazel jokingly reminded her.

"Mika, how did you do that?" Rias asked the question on everyone's mind.

"Well, I don't use it often so I'm sure some of you have forgotten but, do you remember Familiars Forest?" Mika asked them as she landed on the ground. "I used my extermination ray to destroy the slimes. Before, it only had the power to destroy any creatures that didn't have a Human form. But after I looked back and realized the potential of this spell, I worked to upgrade it." She explained. "Now, I'm working on making it a spell that can exterminate any non-living being or element that I choose before firing it, all I had to do was figure out the calculation he used to make his spell and match mine with it. Once my ray hit him, it exterminated the magic he was surrounded with, and with no magic, it went back to just being underwear."

"Is that why you flew off before?" Kiba asked, now able to see again.

"That's right." Mika confirmed. "Figuring out the equation of such an… Unorthodox spell took a while, but I did in the end."

Irina confirmed the Sage was indeed unconscious and looked back at the others. "I'm glad, now I can capture him. I call my superiors and they'll send others to arrest him."

"Ah, before that…" Ren spoke out before she could and asked. "Aren't you all going to get dressed?"

As he said those words, the girls all looked down and noticed they were all still completely Naked. Asia and Irina cried out in shame as they kneeled down and covered themselves. Rias, Koneko, and Xenovia didn't look say anything but also covered their chests and maiden-areas, and Akeno being her shameless self didn't cover up at all.

---

Later, three Angels from Heaven arrived and apprehended the Legendary Sage by placing him in golden handcuffs with a chain and collar made of Light tied around his neck. The girls were now fully dressed again as Irina stood next to the Angels.

"I'll escort the Sage back to the Church Headquarters." Irina told the others. "This is goodbye. It was fun teaming up with you again."

[She calls that fun?] Shiou and Ren thought simultaneously.

"We'll see each other again, right?" Xenovia asked hopefully.

"Yup!" Irina smiled and winked. "Soon, I'm sure!"

Before being taken away, the Sage faced Mika. "I lost, young girl." He said with acceptance. "All the technicals and answers I spent my life searching for were beaten by you. But… As long as the words of my God resound in my heart, I will never stop searching for the zenith of perversion."

"That's great but I still just think you're crazy." Mika told him bluntly.

"Hmm, I can live with that." The Sage responded before the Angels activated a magic-circle and disappeared along with him in a flash of golden light.

"Now that that's done, there's something I've been meaning to ask, Azazel?" Shirou addressed the twelve winged Fallen Angel. "Is there actually a God of Perversion?"

"As a matter of fact, there is." Azazel gleefully confirmed. "He's the Greek Primordial God named Eros, he's a God of Sex and he loves all things erotic, especially the female body. As for whether or not he spoke to the Legendary Sage I can't confirm, but the things the Sage claimed as the words of God do sound like the type of things he'd say."

Everyone grimaced slightly at this news.

Rias looked over to the building. "Now the real question is what to do with all this?"

he was referring to the fact that there were several large boxes filled with underwear, it was the full collection of ladies' underwear stolen by the Sage after all this time. Now that he has been left behind.

"With this much underwear, it'll take who knows how long to return it all to its original owners." Rias rubbed her head. "Where do we even start?"

SHINK!

Shirou stood in front of her, took out his cigarette lighter, and lit a small flame. He then laced the hand he was holding the lighter with some of his magic and then breathed in before he blew on the flame.

FLAME!

With that, the fire from Shirou's lighter grew as he blew on it and it burned forth like the fire breath of a Dragon, spreading out and burning the boxes of underwear, setting them on fire and burning brightly until the whole collection ignited like a bonfire.

Shirou closed his lighter and put it away. "That takes care of that."

"But… We were supposed to return those." Rias told him with uncertainty, not entirely sure how she should react.

"Ara, Ara~ Now, there will be hundreds of poor women who will have to go without their underwear." Akeno noted with her usual eyes closed smile.

"Look, after tonight I have had it up to here with underwear at this point. Do you have any idea how cathartic it was for me to burn those?" Shirou asked, sounding more relaxed. "It's like the feeling you get when a hangover finally fades away."

"Uwa!" Irina shrieks as she finally realized something. "My underwear was in that collection!"

"It was?" Xenovia asked, surprised by this revelation. "That means it's burned as well."

Shirou shrugged. "Well, look on the bright side, you'll never hafta worry about it being stolen again."

"But…" Irina whimpered as she fell to her knees. "It was my favorite!" She sobbed.

---

Once everything was settled, the ORC along with Ren parted ways with the distraught Irina and went to Kuoh Academy to meet up with Sona who was in the Student Council room and sitting behind her desk—So they could report the events of tonight.

"I see. Well, despite everything taking an unexpectedly strange turn, I am grateful you are all safe." Sona told them after hearing the story. "Thank you for dealing with the situation."

"It was nothing, Sona." Rias excepted her gratitude.

"Actually Chief, when you think about it, it really was nothing." Akeno pointed out.

"True, most of us didn't really do much." Kiba admitted.

"The point is, everything was dealt with." Rias summarized. "Now, we'll take our leave."

"Hold on." As they turned to leave, Sona got up from her desk and addressed them. "There's actually another reason I called you all over here, it's a matter involving Shirou."

"Me?" Shirou asked, raising a brow.

"What matter are you talking about?" Rias asked, also in the dark.

Sona picked up an envelope that was on her desk and handed it over to the reincarnated Devil in question. "My Sister gave this to me to give to you, it's a letter assigned to you from Sirzechs-sama."

"From Onii-sama?" Rias' eyes widened.

"But what does the Kingpin of the Underworld what with Brougi?" Mika questioned.

Well, only one way to find out."

Shirou decided as he opened the envelope and took out the letter as he read what was written on it. When he did, he became shocked as the others looked as well and also couldn't hide their astonishment.

~Dear Sir Shirou Tsukiharu — Pawn Of Rias Gremory~

~Due To Your Recent And Commendable Accomplishments And Growing Strength Among Your Peers

You Have Been Considered Eligible To Receive A Recommendation To Take The Mid-Class Devil Promotion Exam

This Recommendation Was Brought Forth By The Devil King Lucifer And Seconded By Several Other High-Class Devil And Thus Was Accepted

Arrive At The Examination Hall On The Appointed Day And Time To Take Part~

~From The Exam Commission Of The Underworld~

.

.

.

The whole room was silent as no one knew how to respond to this new development. Rias looked over at Sona and tried to find the words.

"Sona… This… This is—?"

Sona gave her a look of understanding. "I know, I had the same reaction."

"Shirou-kun's being promoted to a Mid-Class Devil?" Kiba found his voice.

"That's Great." Akeno followed with excitement.

"It's more than great, it's amazing." Rias corrected, obviously impressed and pleased. "In The History of the Underworld, no Devil has gone from Low-Class to Middle Class in such a short amount of time, the previous record was at least a year, but Shirou has only been a Devil for around three months."

Xenovia smiled in acknowledgment. "Well, he is 'The most talented Red Dragon Emperor in history'." She pointed out the title Michael gave him.

"…As expect of you Sempai." Koneko praised.

"You really are amazing, Sempai!" Gasper looked up at him with sparkling eyes.

"Congratulations, Shirou-san." Asia added also happy for him.

Shirou just stared at the letter and stayed silent, thus Mika spoke on his behalf.

"Guys, calm down already." She told them in a hushing tone. "This is just a recommendation, he still has to actually take the exam to get the promotion, remember?" She reminded them. "Save your praise and celebrations for after he passes."

"After he passes?" Ren thought amused. "The way she says it makes it sound like she believes he's guaranteed to pass. Though, I also believe that so I can't talk." He admitted.

Shirou then looked up from the letter and at Sone. "There's something I'm curious about." He points to a part of the letter. "It says this was seconded by 'several other High-Class Devils', who are they exactly?"

"Well, the obvious ones were Lord Zeoticus and Lady Venelana."

"My parents?" Rias noted before smiling. "I should have figured."

"Naturally Onee-sama was also on board and convinced our parents to do the same." Sona explained. "And there were two others who also put forth their names for your recommendation."

"Who were they?" Shirou question.

Sona smiled and adjusted her glasses. "The members of the House of Phenex, Raiser and Ravel Phenex."

Shirou and everyone who met the two in question became surprised at this new information.

"Raiser?" Rias repeated with a mutter. "But why…?"

"Fire-crotch and the wannabe Princess Peach?" Mika said to herself quietly. "Huh, I guess they aren't so bad after all, I might probably use their real names someday."

"Raiser and Ravel Phenex?" Xenovia asked confused, not having been around at and so not knowing who they were referring to. "Who are they?" She asked Kiba.

The blonde Knight gave her an uncomfortable smile. "It's a long story… I'll tell you some other time." He promised.

"Anyway, the exam will take place tomorrow afternoon, the exam hall is in the territory of the House of Astaroth." Sona informed. "I was asked to lead you to the exam so come to the Student Council room tomorrow at noon and I'll guide you there."

Shirou put the letter down. "Sure."

"What's the House of Astaroth's territory like?" Mika asked curiously.

"It's not all that different from most modern areas in the Underworld, but the main parts of the territory are Education facilities." Rias answered her question. "All the most High Class and prestigious Schools and Universities are located in that territory, as well as testing sites, Education is the main handle of the House of Astaroth."

"Uggh! More School!" Mika moaned with disgust and irritation. "I seriously hope I never go there."

"How long does the exam take?" Shirou asked, not responding to the others.

"Just a few hours." Sona answered.

"Whelp, time to go."

Shirou turned and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" Akeno asked.

Shirou didn't stop walking. "Nowhere in particular, just gonna go and cool off for a bit." He then stopped in front of the door. "Oh yeah, before I forget…" He turned around. "Mika, I want you to go to Gasper's underwear drawer and destroy all pairs of female underwear."

"Got it." Mika happily saluted.

"Uwa!?" Gasper sobbed in dismay.

With that settled, Shirou turned around again and placed his hand on the doorknob but instead of opening the door and walking out, he simply used his speed to dash away which made it look like he vanished.

While Gasper was upset about the fact that practically all of his underwear was going to be destroyed, the rest of them looked at each other and felt something was a little off.

"Is it just me or did Shirou-kun seem kinda strange?" Kiba pointed out.

"You have a point, I thought he'd be more excited about his promotion?" Akeno found it odd.

"…Sempai seemed pretty mellow." Koneko noticed.

"Is Shirou-san not happy about this?" Asia wondered.

"I'm pretty sure that's not the case." Rias argued with a smile. "I'm sure that Shirou is very happy about this, he's just taking it in his own way."

---

Outside the New School building, Shirou was walking away in the silence of the night as he looked up at the sky and saw the moon. Once he was sure that he was alone, he brought his hand to his side and made a fist in triumph as he smirked victoriously.

"…Ah yeah!"

---

And that's the chapter.

First of all, that first special was one I took from Season 3 because I figured it was one that would work in this part of the story just as well as it would at a later point. The other two were ones I just made up but think turned out okay. For the cooking one, I wanted to address Sona's bad cooking because in the Canon she goes on thinking it's good because Serafall pretends it is and Issei and Saji are too much of a Simp to tell her the truth, which annoyed me. So I decided to do it here because as you know, my cast of OC's wouldn't sugarcoat it and just flat out tell her, which is what she needs.

Now as for the ending, I told you all that Shirou was going to Class up earlier than Issei did and this is the beginning of that. Shirou's power and accomplishments clearly make him deserving of it so it's shouldn't seem odd and what's more. In the Canon, Issei should have Classed up sooner but Sirzechs wanted him to stay in his current passion for as long as he could, but after everyone around him kept saying Issei was too strong and had to Class up, he did.

But in my version, Sirzechs knows what Shirou's goal is and wants to support him on his endeavor even in little ways, thus he decided to be a bro and put down Shirou's name as someone who should take the exam and the motion carried. This Shirou gets to Class up to Mid-Class. And no, I'm not going to show him taking the exam because the Light Novel basically skimmed through that part when we got there and they spent more time talking about it than actually seeing them take it. Plus, for the current Shirou, it would be super easy.

Next chapter, we'll just see him already done with the exam and back home, which is good because the next chapter will be the beginning of the next Arc—Summer In The Underworld. I hope you're looking forward to it like me because I'm going to make it both huge and great.

Anyway, thanks for reading hope you enjoyed, if you want more then be sure to leave a review, if you like the story then click the follow/favorite, and as always have an awesome day.