Chapter XIIX: Mr. Tub O' Lard

LES: Okay, good news, half of this chapter exists on paper, but the first part is from memory again. A bad thing since I wrote this on paper a year ago and typed it months ago, so let's see if I remember the important parts.

Jak walked into the Underground Hideout and found Torn was waiting in the front room. "The demolition duo has returned!" Daxter proclaimed, jumping up on the table. "One barbequed ammo dump, served up hot!"

Torn rolled his eyes. "Is that all?"

"We did see something odd while torching that ammo." Jak said. "The Baron's guards were giving barrels filled with Eco to a group of Metal-Heads!"

Torn looked around at Jak, surprise written on his face. "Really? The Shadow will be very interested to hear that."

"You know what? So far, your gigs have been easier than stealing grass from a sleeping Yakkow." Daxter said.

Torn chuckled. "You and the rodent wanna start proving yourselves? Fine. One of our main suppliers needs his payment delivered, a bag of Eco ore. Take the zoomer parked out front and drive it to the Hip Hog Haven saloon in the Port area in South Town. Ask for Krew, he'll be there. And you better not let the Baron's patrols stop you."

"Why would the Baron stop us?" Jak asked. "Carrying a bag of Eco ore isn't illegal… is it?"

"It's illegal to trade in Eco without the Baron's authorization." Torn explained. "And one more thing before you go. Once you get there, pump Krew for information. He's wired into the City, and may know what the Baron is up too."

"You can count on us." Daxter said.

"Are you still here?" Torn asked.

Jak nodded silently and walked out of the Underground hideout. Almost immediately, he spotted the zoomer in question. It was a small, speedy type that had a small package of Eco ore on the back.

Jak jumped onto the zoomer and took off at a speed, following Daxter's instructions to get to the Port area and this 'Hip Hog Haven Saloon.'

On the way there, Jak had gotten into a scrap with the Krimzon Guards, but he had managed to lose them and he pulled up to the Hip Hog, the bag of Eco ore completely unharmed. Jak grabbed the bag, Daxter jumped on his shoulder, and they both walked into a bar.

It was just like you would imagine a bar. There were several booths along the sides of the walls, a rink in the middle, presumably for wrestling matches that took place there. There was a bar at the end… with a mirror.

Jak stared at his reflection, the horrible demonic creature and decided the best course of action would be to ignore the situation. Hopefully, no one would notice if Jak didn't draw attention to himself.

A large dark-skinned elf stood to the side of the rink, watching them, there seemed to be no other elf in sight. Daxter elbowed Jak's head. "Hey, watch me handle this, Jak. Watch my finesse and style!"

"Don't forget to ask about the…" Jak began as Daxter jumped off his shoulder.

"Everything's cool… nobody panic." Daxter walked up to the large elf. "Hey! You Krew?"

The elf laughed. "Me? Krew? No, I ain't Krew." He pointed to just above the bar. "That is Krew."

The duo looked at where the elf was pointed and both let out audible gasps. Jak couldn't help but stare. He had never… in his entire life… seen an elf that was so… fat! What was worse, he sat in a little doughnut-like hover-chair that allowed his fat to roll off the edges. He couldn't see how the little hover-chair could hold him up in the first place. Jak was sure that more than one of the laws of physics and nature were being broken.

"So… you're Krew…" Daxter began, recovering himself. "Well, we shook the heat, and your shipment's in primo condition."

"That's good, eh." Krew said. "Because a cargo of rare Eco ore is worth more than ten of your lives!" Krew floated over to Jak, and it took all of his will power not to let the stench overtake him. Jak cursed the Gods, or the Precursors, or whoever for his enhanced sense of smell. "And of course, I'd be forced to collect… slowly…" Krew laughed. "The Underground will accept anyone with a pulse these days." Krew glanced at Daxter. "And what do we have here? The Shadow's Mascot of the Month?" Krew reached out with a grubby finger and began to stroke Daxter's fur. "Oooh… soft." Daxter gagged as Krew removed his hand. "Sig, this fur will go well with my silk suits, eh." He said to the large elf.

"Listen… ah… Tones of Fun." Daxter said nervously. "Anyone can see that you… and I have the real juice in this burg. We're both players, right? We're both looking for a piece of the action, right? I think we can do business, right?"

At that moment, Jak's already severely shortened patience snapped. "We did you a favor, now it's your turn." Jak hissed angrily. "Why is the Baron giving Eco to Metal-Heads?"

"Questions like that could get a person killed, eh!" Krew growled, and then he turned to Sig. "Sig, pay 'el Capitan' and his friend here… a bonus." Sig walked up to Jak, and the Dark Elf crouched slightly, ready for a fight when the large elf pushed a medium-sized gun in his face. But he wasn't aiming at him, but offering it to him. Jak blinked in confusion before accepting the weapon. A slow, insane grin spread across his face. "If you want to see what that baby can do, try the gun course outside. Show me some skill with that hardware, and I'll hire you for a job or two, eh."

Jak put the weapon in the ready-made holster on his back and walked out. He turned and became to walk down the Port to where the Gun course was located. "Oh no!" Daxter said. "Imagine you with a gun! We're all doomed!"

"Shut up, Dax." Jak said. "Time to REALLY have some fun!"

"We're doomed…" Daxter repeated.

Jak learned the ways of the Morph-Gun and ended up slaughtering the old record in the Gun Course. He walked back into the saloon, a smug grin on his face.

"Excellent shooting, Jak!" Krew praised. "Ever thought about being a Wastelander?"

"Can't say that I have." Jak lied. In truth, he didn't even know what a Wastelander was.

"Wastelanders are the ones that find items for me outside the City walls." Krew explained. "Any artifact or weapon worth having comes through my hands. You meet plenty of Metal-Heads on the job, but you seem to be able to handle yourself in combat. They should be a piece of cake for you. Work for me and I'll throw some of the sweeter items your way."

Jak thought about this deal for a second. Not a lot to think about, really. "Kill Metal-Heads? Get toys? Sounds good to me."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down Jak and a fat man!" Daxter said. "You two had better run that by me again cause there's no way I'm going outside the City to face more Metal-Heads!"

"Dax!" Jak spat. "I'll be the one fighting the Metal-Heads, not you." Then he added in a whisper. "Besides, I need those skull-gems."

"Oh…" Daxter said, understanding.

Jak turned back to Krew. "I'll take the job."

"Sig will show you the ropes." Krew said, floating away.

"So you wanna be Wastelanders, huh dough-boys?" Sig asked. "Well, we'll see what you're made of when we get out in the thick. Krew wants some new trophies to put butts in chairs at the Hip Hog, so I'm gonna bag him five nasty Metal-Heads at the Pumping Station." Daxter gulped nervously. "Don't wet your fur, chilipepper, cause we're rollin' with the PeaceMaker!" Sig held up a large weapon that seemed slightly inspired by the Metal-Heads. It looked like a powerful weapon.

"Wow! I need one of those!" Daxter exclaimed. "Where'd ya get it?"

"Don't ask." Krew said, floating back into the conversation. "Sig needs someone to watch his back while he tracks the Metal-Heads, eh."

"We'll meet at the Pumping Station." Sig said, pointed a finger at Jak. "Listen, cherries, don't you leave me danglin' in the wind out there!"

Jak glared at Sig. "Let's do it!"

Sig blasted the last of Metal-Head with the awesome destructive powers of the PeaceMaker. Sig saluted the last Metal-Head as it died and fell into the polluted ocean.

"Boom, baby!" Sig exclaimed. "Home team, five; Metal-Heads, nothing!" Sig glanced at Jak. "Now, that was the last one. You go tell Krew we've got 'em all cooked and canned. I'm gonna collect the trophies and clean PeaceMaker." Sig smiled at Jak. "Ya did good, rookie."

Jak nodded and walked away. "How many skull-gems do we have?"

"Twenty-eight." Daxter said after counting said skull-gems.

"Great. Let's go visit the Oracle." Jak said, walking across the sandy beach, through the security door, and back into the Water Slums of Haven City. Jak instantly stole the closest zoomer and rushed as fast as he could to the Shrine hut of the Precursor Oracle.

Once there, he stormed through the door. The Oracle's eyes lit up as it seemed to wake up. "Greetings, Great Warrior." It rumbled.

"I have the twenty-five skull-gems." Jak said as he lay the gems down in front of the Oracle.

"Good." The Oracle boomed. "I promised you control, and now I shall give it too you. But with control, I give you advice."

"What?"

"You were once our only hope. It was believed that, if you couldn't save us, then no one could. But now that you carry the weight of Darkness and pain on your shoulders, you alone cannot save us. Our last hope still rests with one still untouched by pain, a pure soul, and you must protect this young soul in our moment of truth. All will be made clear to you as the ending gives birth to the beginning in the Great Circle of Time."

"I don't understand." Jak said.

"I know." The Oracle rumbled. "But when the time is right, you will understand." It paused. "I will now grant you control over your Dark Powers." Daxter wisely got off Jak's shoulder. The Oracle growled loudly and a beam of Dark Eco shot out of the Oracle's snout and hit Jak in the chest.

He was lifted in to the air by the pure, raw power of Dark Eco; he writhed and screamed. It felt just as bad as the Dark Eco torture that he had endured for two years. Slowly, Dark began to emerge, pale skin and hair, pitch black eyes, horns, claws, and fangs. Finally, the Dark beam stopped and Jak fell back to the ground, the transformation complete. The Dark demon glanced around slowly, as though confused. Slowly, he raised his own hand and studied the claws that grew out of the end of his fingers.

"Jak…" The Oracle boomed, and the creature looked up. "You now have control over your actions while you are in your Dark form. But that control will only last as long as you want it to." The monster stared at the Oracle and growled, apparently, it couldn't speak any normal language. "As long as you will your mind to remain during a transformation, you will be yourself, however, the real demon is still in there, ready to take over at the first chance it gets. Always be wary of this."

It took about half a minute, and then Jak began to change back to normal. Within in seconds, he was normal again. "I… I remember everything!" Jak exclaimed.

"Yes. Beware, though. Now you will remember the faces of the ones that you hurt and kill." The Oracle warned. "Now you must wait for my next summons. It might come any time, so be ready to answer at a moment's notice, for there is very little time… too little time for my liking."

"What do you think we are?" Daxter demanded. "We can't come running at your every single whim!"

"What you are?" The Oracle went silent for several seconds. "You are the hope for the entire planet, Great Warrior. You must be ready for the trials that lie ahead."

"What trials?" Jak asked.

"The trails that you were born to perform." The Oracle answered. "Everything leads up to them and you will either fail and plunge this world into Darkness or you will prevail and become even greater than Mar was."

"I've heard about this 'Mar' guy." Jak said. "Who is he?"

"He was a young man who founded Haven City over five-hundred years ago and became its first King." The Oracle explained. "He earned his title of 'hero' for many great deeds that have been passed down through the lore and legend of Haven. His line ruled up until three years ago when the good King disappeared and Praxis easily over threw the unstable government. With the King gone… Haven was only asking to be toppled. The Queen couldn't stop this and disappeared shortly after Praxis' coup, as did their young Prince, later recovered."

"Overthrowing local royalty?" Jak mused. "Sounds like the Baron's always been a bast…" Jak paused, unsure of whether the Oracle would stand that sort of language. "A… an evil man." Jak finished awkwardly.

The Oracle didn't say anything further. Slowly, Jak sensed the presence of the Oracle leave the room, and the wise golden statue became nothing but a statue. Jak sighed.

"Wow, this sounds like some pretty heavy stuff." Daxter said. "He's, like, saying that the fate of the ENTIRE world rests on your shoulders!"

"Not again." Jak hissed. "This is great. The weight of the world on MY shoulders again… that added to your weight."

"Hey!" Daxter said after several seconds when he realized that he had been insulted. Jak ignored his Ottsel friend and walked out of the hut.

LES: Oh man! (Is tired) Can't I just skip some of these missions? Please? I want to being Jak and Keira back together!