Disclaimer: Shaman King is the intellectual property of Hiroyuki Takei
Author's Comments: My first entry for Shaman King. Yoh/Len Usually I write for Yu-Gi-Oh! but I was hit with inspiration.
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I Blame Yoh
Yoh Asakura is … an infuriating individual. That has always been my opinion of him since the day we first met and I had marked him for death.
Yoh is infectious to the extent that the more time one spends within a twelve meter radius of him the more that person is broken down until nothing of them is left at all and they have to start over from Yoh's perspective, as I have had to.
I knew, I knew, that it was my own inadequacy, my own damaged life breaking apart from exposure to the truth, to the real reality but Yoh had been the one to break that mirror I had believed in and I wanted to blame him. I had to blame him but by that time I was suffering overexposure-to-Asakura and there was no going back.
Anger melted to despair and hate somehow became loyalty.
Yoh met my despair with understanding and my loyalty he met with friendship, all at a time when these things were new to me, unknown emotions and unfamiliar contentment. I was like a child, finding myself clinging to the first pleasant thing in my life.
It was inevitable, that I should devote myself to him, that I should give him everything, all of myself, because I knew that he would treat those fragile things as priceless treasures; because I trusted him with my poorly mended soul.
It was infuriating to me, that loss of control in my emotions, and I blamed Yoh for all of it.
Despair became fear for the loss of that control, the one thing I had never been without, my one assurance that I was safe and despite that fear, despite my self-disgust and friendship and hesitancy … loyalty became love.
Of course, as love was a thing I had never known aside from the camaraderie I shared with my sister that I was later told was love, I did not comprehend the severity of this change for quite some time.
I blamed Yoh for every reaction I could not control, for every blush when he smiled at me and every quiver of my stomach when he touched me.
Yoh Asakura is an infuriating individual. I think so even now, as I am kissing him on the roof and my fingers are sinking into his hair. His hands are folded into my lap and it infuriates me when he does this and then decides that's enough for one day.
It's not enough today.
And I blame Yoh.
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