Chapter XXIX: Finding Mar's Tomb
LES: I'm starting a new continued gag and I'm going to see how long it will last. I call it… THE DREADED 'KICK ME' SIGN!
Jak, Keira, and Daxter are sitting around, Keira is conveniently distracting Jak by using the mystic female powers of seduction! Once Daxter is sure that Jak is fully distracted, he sticks something to Jak's back. Once Keira is done with him, Jak gets up and walks away, showing that the thing on his back is a 'Kick Me' sign. Daxter and Keira laugh to themselves.
Find out what happens next time on… THE DREADED 'KICK ME' SIGN!
As soon as Jak got back into the City proper they got a call from Pecker. "ARRKK! Jak, Onin wants to see you immediately in her hut! Get your heroic backside here NOW! Not whenever you fell like waltzing in, NOW!" The line disconnected before Jak could respond.
"Man, what do you think is happening that has old bird-brain in a twist?" Daxter asked.
"No clue." Jak said. "But I don't think it would be good for us to get that creepy old lady mad at us."
"Hey, do you remember what she said to you last time?" Daxter asked.
"Of coarse I do." Jak said, and then he recited.
"The Angel lives in Heaven
White without a Stain
The Angel falls out of Heaven
Into a life of Pain
The Angel yearns for Heaven
But instead is stuck in Hell
Will the Angel get back to Heaven?
Only the Angel can tell."
"You actually remembered that load of nonsense?" Daxter demanded.
"The damn thing got stuck in my head." Jak grumbled. "Come on, let's go." Jak hijacked a zoomer and took off towards the old soothsayer's hut.
Jak walked through the door of the hut, but stopped as he recognized a voice inside.
"Expecting that little boy to save us is folly!" It was Kor, talking to Onin and Pecker. "At his age, he's no match for the Metal-Head Leader." Kor turned around and saw Jak. "Oh, Jak… we were just discussing Samos' plan."
"No problem." Jak said. "I agree with you. Metal-Heads are tough, and I couldn't imagine how powerful the Leader must be. There's no way in Hell the Kid can take on the Leader."
Everyone in the room went strangely silent, as if they all knew something that Jak did not. It greatly annoyed the Dark elf. Finally, Onin began to sign, looking in Kor's direction. "Onin says your voice sounds very familiar, Master Kor. I'll bet you two golden oldies go way—way back, huh?" Jak was shocked to see a look of deep loathing cross Onin's ancient face. Then Onin began to sign again, but this time in Jak's direction. "Onin says that you have to prove yourself once again, Jak."
"Why?" Jak asked.
"Onin says that you've proved your brass and your brawn several times over." Pecker said while Onin mimed courageousness and strength. Jak grinned cockily. "But, now, you must show Onin that you've got a brain to go with all that muscle. To do this, you'll have to pass Onin's test."
"And what sort of thing will I get for passing this test?" Jak asked.
"Well, Onin has done some digging and she now has the lost pieces of the Grand Seal of Mar!" Pecker said. "Pass the test, and Onin will give you the pieces of the Seal of Mar."
(Fast Forward)
Jak passed the test and the Golden Seal pieces were revealed. Onin used her magical powers to put the pieces together. "Behold, the Seal of Mar is now complete!" Pecker said rather melodramatically. The Golden Seal floated into Jak's hands. He was surprised how it felt there, sort of like it was made to fit his hands. "Onin says that the artifacts you received from the Precursor Mountain Temple are relics from and ancient light tower. Old songs sang about how this Light Tower once shined down on the very site of Mar's Tomb! I'll sing one of the songs for you…"
"That's not really…" Jak began, but it was too late. Pecker was singing in a horribly out of tune voice. Pecker's voice hit Jak's ears like a hammer.
"From the Mists of Time Mar's light would shine!"
Kor dropped his staff in shock. The wood hit the floor with a clank and everyone flinched.
"Whoa, there Iron Lungs." Jak said, stopping Pecker's singing. "Just tell us what we need to do. And please, in a regular voice, not in song."
"Cretans without taste, huh?" Pecker demanded.
"Hey, at least I know the difference between music and noise." Jak said. "That was terrible."
Pecker spat on the ground angrily, thankfully not in Jak's direction or he would've been turned into fried moncaw. "You've got to use the Seal of Mar to open the gate into Mar's Canyon. Find the Light Tower then and use the artifacts to activate the ancient machinery. Only then will the Light Tower rise and reveal the Tomb's location to us.
"Great, and what happens afterwards?" Jak asked.
Onin began to sign. "After the Tomb is opened, then the Mar's one true heir will enter and face the Tests of Manhood." Pecker translated.
"But, why is this Tomb so important anyway? What use do we have for the rotted corpse of a long dead hero?" Jak asked.
"The legendary Precursor Stone is rumored to sleep within the Tomb, stupid!" Pecker mostly translated. "I added the 'stupid' part. The Precursor Stone is a most ancient artifact of amazing power, in fact, it is rumored to be the most powerful thing the Precursors ever built."
"Sounds very powerful!" Daxter said.
"It is. The Heir of Mar must face the Ancient Oracle and the guardians of the Tomb. The Oracle alone must devise the cunning Tests of Manhood! The Heir of Mar alone must wield the Precursor Stone, thereby unleashing the…" Suddenly, Pecker stopped and yelled down at Onin. "Geez Louis, Fossil-Lady! Stop with the snooty mythic talk already, huh! You know that it hurts my lips!"
"Is this Precursor Stone the reason Praxis wants to find the Tomb so badly?" Jak asked.
Kor took over from there. "The Baron wants to use the Precursor Stone to rule the world, but he is playing with forces that he does not understand."
"But if Praxis does get the Stone, he will be near-unstoppable." Pecker translated. "You see, the Precursor Stone can be used for great good or… great EVIL!" Pecker drew out the last word. "Ha, I just love saying that last part. Anyway, Onin says that we must get the Stone, or all is lost. Only when we have possession of the Stone, can lives be saved." For a second, Onin's blind staring eyes stared right at Jak. That look sent shivers down Jak's spine. Then he turned to walk out. "Good bye!" Pecker called after him. "Don't let the door hit you on your heroic butt on the way out!" The moncaw laughed.
Jak stopped in the doorway and growled loudly. Daxter groaned. "I can't believe I'm doing this…" Daxter said. "Pecker, I wouldn't do that if I were you. Jak's been in a bad mood as of late." Daxter yelled in Jak's ear. "Run, Jak! Before you kill again!"
"Enough, Daxter." Jak said. "Let's just get out of here." With that, Jak walked out of the tent. Both Onin and Kor watched, or in Onin's case, 'stared' at Jak's exit. Both of the elders had very different thoughts.
Jak had to go all the way back to the Precursor Mountain Temple, an area he had just left, again, and he was kind of upset about it.
Dark was upset too. He was still sore over Daxter's attack on his sexuality. He was currently imploring Jak to let him out so he could eat him. But Jak wouldn't allow it. No matter how annoying the little rat was, Daxter was the only friend he had left, so he couldn't afford to destroy him.
This thought carried Jak down the elevator to the Temple. He didn't even remember the way there… funny…
At the bottom, there was a locked gateway that had an empty slot in it… about the right size as the Seal of Mar that he now carried. Jak took it out and held it up to the door. Slowly, the Seal of Mar moved out of his hand and floated over to the doorway. The Seal placed itself in the slot and the door opened.
Jak stepped over the rather large threshold and walked into Mar's Canyon. They came to a rail, but Jak was able to use the JetBoard to grid across easily. He got off on the other end because the canyon was too narrow for the JetBoard. And he resumed walking down the canyon. Eventually, Jak came to a fork in the path. "I'm guessing it's that way." Jak said, looking down the right path.
"Fine, but if you're wrong, don't blame me."
"Fair enough." Jak said, walking down the right path, which led to a canyon that was even narrower than the previous one. As they walked, statues appeared to come out of the stone walls.
"You think this is our man, Mar?" Daxter asked.
Jak looked up and the tall, regal statues. "Yes."
"How do you know?" Daxter asked. "Oh my God, you're physic!"
"No." Jak sighed. "But we are in Mar's Canyon, which was unlocked by the Seal of Mar, and we're here to activate the Light Tower that will show us the way to Mar's Tomb."
"Hmm… I guess you're right." Daxter said.
Suddenly, the canyon opened up into a small clearing with a bunch of machinery. Jak reached into a pocket of his trench coat and handed Daxter the gear. Jak nodded his head toward a piece of machinery with the gear-shaped slot in it. Daxter nodded back and took the gear; he jumped off Jak's shoulder and ran toward the machinery while Jak himself moved toward the Light Tower, which actually looked pretty short to him. Jak pulled out the lens and tossed it in place. Jak turned and yelled at Daxter. "Okay, now!"
Daxter gave Jak a 'thumbs up' as he put the gear in its place. The Ancient machines started with a rumble and the Light Tower rose high into the sky. Daxter watched in awe as the Tower extended to its full height: over fifty feet tall. Jak walked over to the last bit of machinery and pulled out the blue, glowing, vibrating Precursor Shard. "Aww! Can't I just have one more go with that thing?" Daxter asked. Jak rolled his eyes. Daxter claimed that the vibration Shard could put a smile on anyone's face.
Beyond that, Jak ignored him and placed the Shard in its slot. A small platform carried the shard to the top and four generators powered up the shard.
Suddenly, a beam shot from the shard to the lens high above. The beam was redirected in the direction of Haven City, but beyond that, Jak couldn't see where it hit.
Several seconds later, the Talk Box activated. Pecker's voice squawked over the speakers. "Well, I'll be a Yakkow's uncle! The Light Tower actually does exist! The beam hit somewhere in the City and we heard a pretty decent sized explosion.
"Do you think it hit the Palace?" Jak asked, now entertaining the idea of the Palace collapsing and crushing the Baron and Erol in one go.
"No, the Palace still stands." Pecker said. "But it appeared to be a close miss."
"Somewhere near the Palace, got it." Jak said.
"Samos, Kor, and the Kid are waiting for you two. Go, hurry." Pecker urged.
"Already gone." Jak said as he marched out of the clearing of the Light Tower.
Back in Haven, Jak didn't have a problem finding where the beam hit. In fact, he was quite happy with the results. The bead had destroyed the statue that Baron Praxis made of himself that was between the Port and the Palace. Praxis' head had fallen down on the pedestal, revealing a hidden doorway, the way into Mar's Tomb.
Jak slipped through the confusion and Guards to the door and quietly entered. Once inside, he got on an elevator that took him deeper into the bowels of the Tomb. Once they reached the bottom they were greeted by Samos, Kor, and the Kid, who smiled up at Jak.
"Hey, sport." Jak said with a tenderness that was so unlike him.
"You did it, Jak, you actually found Mar's Tomb!" Samos exclaimed.
"So… what now?" Jak asked. "We send this poor kid into a meat grinder?" The kid looked nervous at Jak's words.
"He'll only need to pass the Tests." Samos said. "Then we should get the Precursor Stone."
Kor was off in a corner, and he seemed to be off in his own little world. "This is the day I've long awaited. To finally hold the fabled Precursor Stone… in my hands."
"You must be cautious, child." Samos said. "The Tests of Manhood are sure to be fraught with peril, and Mar's Heir must face them alone."
"Samos, this is suicide!" Jak said. "You don't know what's in there! It could be anything! Am I the only one in here who knows that this kid is just a kid? It's called the 'Tests of Manhood' for Precursor's sake! This child is many years from manhood!"
"Hey, don't listen to mister gloom over there, Kid." Daxter said. "It's just a deep, pitch black, sure-to-be-filled-to-the-brim-with-painful-death old tomb…" A pause, the Kid's lip trembled. "I wouldn't go in there."
Suddenly, a rumbling caught everyone's attention. The deep voice of the Oracle entered the room. "Welcome, Heir of Mar. Finally… the Chosen One stands before me." A door began to open and both Jak and the Kid gazed into the dark depths of the tomb, as though mesmerized. "Enter… and prove yourself worthy to claim your ancient birthright."
Jak stared at the door, confused. An alluring voice was calling his name from inside the Tomb. "Jaaaaaaaak…" It was possibly the most seductive voice he'd ever heard in his life. It was calling to him… it wanted him to come into the Tomb. Jak put a hand on the Kid's shoulder to stop him from entering. Jak slowly moved around the boy, all he could hear was the Voice. He walked, zombie-like, toward the entrance of the Tomb while everyone else stared at him.
"Jak! What are you doing?" Daxter demanded, but the elf in question ignored him.
"No!" The Oracle boomed, finally bringing Jak out of his enchanted state. Jak looked up at the Oracle, confused, as did everyone else. "The child is too young to face the Tests of Manhood." The doors began to close.
"JAAAK!" The Voice screamed, making Jak deaf to all else.
"No!" Kor cried.
"Do something, Jak!" Samos cried, but it was rather unnecessary.
The unknown Voice ringing in his ears, Jak set his face in a determined frown and he sprinted for the closing door.
"Jak!" Daxter yelled, chasing after him. "Remember the 'sure-to-be-filled-to-the-brim-with-painful-death' part?"
Jak rolled under the doorway. Daxter skidded to a halt just before the door and attempted to run away. But Jak had other plans for the Ottsel. He reached under the door, grabbed Daxter's tail, and yanked him under just as the door closed.
"Great tree-limbs!" Samos gasped. "He's gone to face the Tests!"
"No." Kor said grimly. "He's gone to his death…"
"Freeze!" A harsh voice said at the door.
LES: More of 'THE DREADED 'KICK ME' SIGN!
Jak: (walks around, unaware that he has a 'kick me' sign on his back. He passes Samos.)
Samos: (notices the sign and uses his staff to whack Jak across his shins)
Jak: (in pain) Samos? What the hell'd you do that for?
Samos: Just to warn you against doing anything 'premarital' with my daughter! And because I was told to.
Jak: What?
LES: Who will get the once-in-a-lifetime chance to beat Jak up next in… THE DREADED 'KICK ME' SIGN!