Chapter 21

The air disappeared within the four walls of the gallery and what Terry wanted was not to smile at all...in fact he felt his jaw line tightening. He wanted to break the face of that smug bastard that was standing right next to him.

The woman who had entered the gallery was the girl he had opened his heart to and had loved like no-one else in his life. He had dreamed about her endless nights and had allowed the madness of his fate to take her away from him. He had suffered a loveless life without her. She was the one who had slapped him and called him a delinquent for having dared kiss her one May afternoon, declaring his affection to her. Thoughts and feelings were crashing inside him with the speed and force of a deadly avalanche. Having his back to the wall sort of speak, Terry could do nothing else but to suppress the violent wave having risen in his chest. He gave Christian a forced smile hoping he wasn't just baring his teeth to Candy's boyfriend. Why she had also changed her name was beyond his comprehension but he was certain he would find out at some point.

He always felt alive in her presence. Having not seen her for such a long time intensified that a hundred fold. Every cell in his body was so charged, he felt like a live wire. He made a conscious effort to keep cool in front of her and Christian. Despite having changed a lot by simply growing up, he recognised her face from up close, that same face that used to look at him with warm shy eyes in a life which could be an old painting of its own. Now her glimmering gaze showed him different.

A new found confidence in her shone through. The girl who had grown in a life that had served her too much bitterness for a single person, had managed to reach the other side a winner. She was taller from when he remembered her. Her blond curls were cut in a fashionable short bob close to her chin. Her skin was still peppered with freckles and her lips were the colour of a ripe autumn apple ready to be bitten. Her body was with curves at all the right places. She glowed inside a figure hugging, floor length satin gown with low décolletage. The dress was hugging her body like liquid silver mold, following her every step.

Candy had just entered the gallery. The air felt light when Terry turning his head to see her. To say that seeing the one man she never thought she'd see again, the one who had never stopped peeking inside her head, standing there, next to Christian out of all people, surprised the living daylights out of her, would be the most definite understatement of her life.

For a moment, the thought to stop right there and pinch herself flashed in her mind. Terry's sudden presence in front of her had the impact of a car crash . The time past did nothing to minimise what she felt whenever his image filled her eyes. Even if he had changed. He was not the teenager who teased her anymore. He was a tall, elegant man with lean strong body. His blue-green eyes were more intense than ever, like tropical waters under the sun but holding the experience of life's tempests. His face was thinner revealing a magnificent bone structure with his dark long hair cut short, a surprise nevertheless, made him look even more of a man that she had ever remembered.

Her whole world came crashing down with a loud bang in front of her. Forcing herself not to reveal anything, she managed to pull her eyes off Terry and concentrated on Christian's excited smile as she walked towards them with a face pale like a ghost.

"Hi Christian", she said with a smile, burying herself in his arms, before he took her lips into a quick kiss. A wave of nervousness swept her off her feet, came up to the surface as a shudder making the hair on her arms stand up.

Terry noticed that. Despite the knot he felt in his stomach when that dick kissed her, her obvious stress caused by his presence made him feel slightly better. So much so that he gave her a wide knowing smile the moment Christian introduced her to him.

"Terry this is Miss Rose White I was telling you about", Christian said enthused, before turning to her. "Sweetheart this is Mr. Terrence Graham. Expat Londoner, living in New York. Just met him here!", he said to her.

Candy's chest tightened as she took a deep breath, she was sweating. Christian gave her a worried look. "Are you ok, darling?", he said sounding worried, "You look pale..."

"I'm ok...was a bit chilly outside, that's all", she excused her obvious reaction.

"Enchanted to meet you Rose...", Terry said with a smooth voice giving her his hand, marvelling at the same time to her flashed cheeks brightening her face.

"Mr...Graham...", she reached, and took his hand in a handshake that did nothing to relax her. The opposite in fact. The touch of his cool skin on hers which was on fire produced more shivering rushing down her spine. Underneath her show stopping gown, her knees were trembling.

"I was admiring the Scarlet Rose when I was honoured by the presence of the artist himself...but I have to say you look more magnificent in the flesh...", Terry replied calm, without taking his eyes off of her, nor his hand from hers. "Without wanting to offend your obvious mastery...of course", he added, turning to see Christian as his lips curled up to a wicked grin.

"Non taken Terry...I understand completely what you mean!", he said and turned his eyes to Candy with a look of obvious admiration. "You do look gorgeous tonight...", he said to her while his hand caressed her back.

She chuckled to both of them, although she sounded more nervous than amused. Yes, it wasn't funny at all for Candy...she knew Terry well. Whatever her life had turned out to be, hurting Terry would be something she would never do, ever! Even if her life was depending on it. It was true; apart from being aware that Susanna had passed away, she did not know the situation his life was standing on right at this present. He may have been well and happy without her. That was their promise, wasn't it? Her instinct was telling her otherwise though. Terry may have well been smiling and grinning like he had great fun, but his eyes were hard. The same eyes that darkened with jealousy the moment she was bringing the late Anthony's name up.

"Your opinion flatters me Mr. Graham but...I think you're exaggerating a little", Candy said with a firm tone at the same moment as she withdrew her hand from his who seemed of having no intention of leaving it.

"Ohhh...you have to permit me to think otherwise Rose...and please call me Terry. I'm not an avid fan of formalities...", he said and grinned once more to both of Christian and Candy before turning his eyes to rest onto the naked Candy, sleeping a peaceful sleep inside the Scarlet Rose.

"The eyes of a man look at things in a different way than a woman's eyes do...don't you think?", he suddenly said without withdrawing his stare from the painting for he felt them burning.

What the hell was wrong with him? He gritted his teeth to the insistence of thinking the whole unexpected event as a terrible dream he would wake up at any minute now in his old flat in New York. He tightened his grip on the cane. It was a discreet move which didn't escape Candy's eyes who was scanning him for signs of what he was feeling at the moment. She was certain that he wasn't as relaxed as he tried to convey. She quickly turned to Christian, looking pale and feverish. His eyes wandered on her looks, bringing back his worried feelings.

"Rose, are you sure you're OK?", he said and touched briefly her forehead. "You're burning up!"

"Please don't worry on your opening night about silly things! I'd be in your debt though if you could bring me a glass of water...with all the preparation for tonight I think I'm completely parched", she asked him quietly, not wanting to draw any more attention from Terry before Christian had left them alone.

He made a move to go for that glass of water she had asked him for, before stopping to turn to see Terry. "Listen Terry, in honour of my first personal exhibition, a dear friend of mine is hosting an after party in Belgrave Square at Lord Wooster's mansion. I'd be really happy if you can make it later on", he said to him.

"Ohhh...you're very kind Christian, but I don't want to impose...", Terry replied to him, not knowing whether he'd stand to see him and Candy canoodling in front of his eyes when the party mood stroke.

"Nonsense!", Christian protested, "They'll be plenty of guests and it'll be an opportunity for you to mingle since you just arrived to your old city. London can be just as much fun as New York, you know...", he said and winked to him with the obvious reference to the single ladies that would be drawn to Terry for sure. Terry caught the meaning straight away and gave him a knowing smile.

"OK, then...I'll probably make a quick visit...Thank you...", he gave in to Christian's insistence.

Maybe he was a masochist after all, Terry thought in his mind. Even if Candy was in someone else's arms, still he could not dismiss the attraction he felt for her. All he had to do was to avoid seeing both of them together. There would be plenty of distractions, he was sure of it...and when the time was right, perhaps he could catch up with Candy alone even more so than what he had hoped to do right there from the moment he saw her.

"Don't mention it! If you'll excuse me now...won't be long", he said and turned away to get that glass of water for Candy.

Terry turned to look at her the moment Christian excused himself. "I was going to ask you how you were Candy or Rose...whatever is your name these days...but the evidence speak for themselves...", he started, his voice full of sarcasm.

"Terry...". Her voice was barely stronger than a whisper. Her stare darted back and forth inside his own, looking at him, trying to decipher his thoughts. Could he have become more handsome than before? She thought as her eyes laid on his silent face and those clear azure eyes that looked only interested in her.

"It's silly to ask you after all those years...but what are you doing here Terry?", she asked him, biting her lower lip in response to her nervousness.

"I don't understand your question Candy, I'm here on holidays...", he said and shrugged his shoulders in mocking innocence.

"In London?!", she pressed him more.

"...You forget dear that I used to live here...?", he continued while finding it amusing to twist the awkwardness she felt.

"Why you're so inquisitive Candy...? Were you expecting me to say something else...?", he played with words in an attempt to unsettle her even further.

He knew that Candy was not on the wrong here. How could she be? She was acting as any other normal woman of her age, having a relationship, modern, living her life the best she could, having fun apparently. For him though, it was impossible at that moment to think straight or rational. The feelings he had kept for her inside him for so long were taking over like drift wood caught up in a spiralling stream.

A flash of annoyance brightened the green of her eyes when he asked her that question. "Honestly Terry...you'll never change", she said with a dismissive move of her hand.

"Some things never do...", he said with a raised eyebrow and a bitter smile. He had meant what he said despite the disastrous timing of his. The memories and feelings he kept so close to him all those years concerning Candy had come to symbolise the most valuable and cherished thing he had tucked inside carefully in his heart. There was no way of denying the abruptness of the reality he now faced, but it wasn't enough to shake what Candy had managed to mean for him.

She felt breathless to his words. She realised Terry's bold statements even when hidden behind snippy remarks. She felt hot to the roots of her hair, trying to find something to say in return.

"Like right now...you always blush when I make you uneasy...", he whispered to her.

Candy felt anger that she had allowed herself to be manipulated in such a way by Terry's words. She squeezed her purse between her hands. "Whereas some other things do change Terry...", she said and straightened her back, having a daring look in her eyes. In her books, she was determined not to suddenly turn to a speechless teenager again that was left fuming after Terry managed always to have the last word.

"Like your name you mean...? or that you allow these days more than a kiss to be taken from?" He didn't even make an effort to hide the sarcasm dripping in the tone of his voice.

Candy didn't even give him an answer. She refused to be dragged by Terry's behaviour to a full on confrontation with him. He kept silent for a few seconds, standing there.

I was sorry to hear about Susanna", she blurted all of a sudden. She had wanted to say that for a long time. God knows the hundreds of times she thought of writing something to him. A few words of consolation. To show him she was there for him. The way their lives had taken their separate ways left a lot of awkwardness between them. Susanna even in her death had kept them apart. No matter how saddened Susanna's death had left her, the fact that Terry hadn't contact her since then took hold of her mind. Her decision to move away to find herself was partly a reaction to Terry not giving any signs of life once he was on his own again. Why didn't he write a few lines to her? A telegram even?

She felt light headed and weak. His sudden presence in her life didn't bring one bit the relief she once thought she would get by laying her eyes on him.

"I'm sure you are more than I was...", he said between his teeth as his mind raced to images of Suzanna, her presence that was tormenting him in their past life together.

Candy gasped with anger to his quiet admission. "You know that's so awful to say Terry!", she criticised him.

"Allow me to have a different opinion of MY past life sweetheart...", he retaliated. What did she know anyways, of his life with Susanna? No matter how difficult it was for her to leave him, and for him to let her go, Candy had prompted him to do the right thing by everyone. A decision that in essence agreed with his retched conscience. But for him the nightmare had only just begun.

Of course, Susanna was no Quasimodo – every man would have said that she was a pleasure for the eyes to look at – that wasn't the point though...living with a woman who was paranoid and fixated with him...begging him for closeness, scrutinizing his every move and every word, was suffocating him to no end. If he had loved her, maybe he would have been able to deal with her obsession. Having to look every day at that hope in her eyes that perhaps someday he'd feel something deeper for her than just the duty to be by her side, taking care of her and her disability...he wouldn't have wished for anyone to have to stare in such eyes. It would have been impossible not to be consumed by self-hatred and cynicism for what life had eventually turned out to mean for him.

Candy realised with the corner of her eye that Christian was at last released from the company of Lady Pembroke, a fifty something year old aristocrat and patroness of the arts who looked like she was enthralled by his paintings, showering him to no ends with compliments. Candy chuckled inside of her; it was a small price to pay for poor Christian, one that had given her at least some moments with Terry alone. Her eyes shifted to focus back on him.

"So...I assume you won't be coming to the party later on...", she said to Terry who had already seen Christian approaching too. He turned and gave her a wide smile.

"Why not? It would be rude of me to not show up since Christian invited me...after all I think it's going to be very interesting...", he said back to her. A wicked spark flickered in his stare.

The way Terry was pushing her around, she could have thought of lot of interesting insults right there on the spot to throw at him. She understood the reason behind his behaviour but what did he expect after all those years? Sadness was swelling inside of her having to see Terry for the first time again since more than ten years ago, under those circumstances. She had played that scene over and over in her mind many lonely nights when she was trying to figure out how to find the strength to go on without him.

In the end, it was easier for her to leave her old self back all together with the memories locked. She decided to move on as a new Candy in a new life than continue to be the girl she was, soft-spoken, shy and there for everyone else apart from herself. It wasn't a way forward...her heart, having no-one to confide to with total honesty felt like a pressure valve. In the isolation of Pony's home, that pressure valve would give in at nights, leaving her to wake up feeling empty in the morning on tear-stained pillows.

She had come to realise that the past was done, was set in stone and it served no one and most of all, her own self, to wallow all her life on what was and what may have been. Didn't Terry understand her? Did he find her cold-hearted and fickle? The way he behaved, not even trying to restrain his obvious bitterness, giving her a chance, an excuse, told her that he did.

Christian came back with an apologetic smile for leaving them alone for a while and gave Candy the glass of water she had asked for. She was now thankful for it. After her brief chat with Terry she wanted something cool to refresh her dry throat.

"So to ask the artist...how much?", Terry asked him all of sudden the moment he was settling back in between them.

"How much for what Terry?", Christian asked him back looking puzzled.

"I'm sorry...I already sound too keen but it's worth it...how much for the Scarlet Rose?", he repeated before finishing the remainder of the third glass of champagne he had grabbed from a passing waiter.

"I want to buy it...", he said slowly, turning his eyes for a brief moment to Candy that looked like she was about to choke on her gulp of drinking water.

Christian chuckled and looked at Terry straight in the eyes. "That...I will have to disappoint you old chap...but this particular painting is not for sale...", he said with the smile fixed in his place.

"Oh, but I'm sure she...", he turned and looked at the painting of the naked Candy, "must have a price...everything does!", he exclaimed and turned back to them.

He could see Candy fuming...he was glad. He was certain she was biting her tongue not to let anything offensive come out targeting him. It didn't matter. He knew his logic was wrong but any feeling he could raise inside her, he welcomed it. Later on, he could regret it in the company of some strong liquor, his ticket for temporary amnesia. Christian's looks became more serious under Terry's rude insistence in front of Candy to buy the Scarlet Rose.

"I'm sure that this is a practice favoured in the States but not here my friend...the time you were there, must made you forget how the rest of the world thinks...", Christian said back to him with firm words. He was suddenly surprised...Terry seemed to be a decent and interesting fellow, most certainly not one who speaks out of his arse like most of their generation did in order to dazzle with their wealth or acquired knowledge. What had brought this on?, Christian wondered in his thoughts and turned to look at Candy. She still seemed unsettled and pale, only now her eyes were also gleaming with anger.

"I'm sorry to say this but I think your opinions of Americans may have offended your girlfriend as she's one of them...", Terry continued pushing even further, and his eyes moved from Christian to Candy.

"If you had asked her...she would have answered that it is you who is offensive with your demand to buy this painting that I told you is not for sale!", Christian said with a quiet but tense voice.

Their confrontation was getting quickly out of hand. Candy had to stop analysing Terry and think fast on her feet to nip this storm brewing right in the bud. She gritted her teeth and looked at Terry with a strict cool expression on her face.

"Mr. Graham...Terry...Christian... this is a night for celebration and not for childish misunderstandings...I'm offended by both of you! You're talking about MY painting as if I'm not here! Not all Americans are like that Christian!", she turned and looked at him who kept quiet the moment she had started talking.

"And I'm sorry to burst your bubble Mr. Graham...I sincerely am Terry...but this painting is not for sale as I already own it myself!", she concluded.

Both men were not saying anything right at that moment. It was too much for her...she was desperate for this whole scene to end...who knows what other innuendos Terry might drop in front of them? She knew of his temper and she knew how illogical he could act the moment he felt betrayed. She had never stopped having tender feelings for him, but this was too much to take. He was feeling betrayed by her when all she was ever doing for those years apart was to love him in a way she could find bearable to do so in his absence. She could feel the blood running hot in her veins. She looked at both of them.

"I hope this little misunderstanding is now solved...you'll have to excuse me gentlemen, I want to go to the powder room", she said and started to get away from both who kept staring at her.

"Ohh and if I don't see you Terry when I come back...I do hope you can make it to the party...no hard feelings...", she turned and said to him with hopeful eyes.

Yes, she did want to have peace with Terry for everyone's sake, for their own most of all. Terry for the first time seemed to be lost for words and even slightly embarrassed by the scene he had deliberately caused. Still he was silent. Candy felt relieved and when she turned her back on her way to the powder room, she crossed her fingers with all her might that things would turn out for the better.