Sawyer sat in his tent thinking to him self. He shouldn't be here; he shouldn't have listened to Hibbs. Not after what happened in Tampa. He reached into his suitcase, the one that actually belonged to him and pulled out an old photo.
In the picture was a younger Sawyer and a little girl sitting on his lap, they were both smiling broadly. The little girl had blonde hair just like Sawyer, her eyes were a sparkling blue, and she had Sawyers smile.
He tucked the photo into his shirt pocket, right next to his letter and got up. He shouldn't be thinking about it, not now. He got up and walked out of his tent. He walked down the beach and he heard Claire trying to soothe her wailing baby, he looked over at her and chuckled as she tried franticly to quiet him.
"Yo, Sunshine!" he called up to her.
"Sorry Sawyer I'm trying to get him to be quiet." Claire apologized. He walked up to her and stared at the screaming child.
"Can I try?" he asked. Claire looked at him skeptically, but handed the boy over nonetheless. Sawyer held him to his chest and stroked his fuzzy haired head, "Hey kiddo, quiet down." He shushed softly. The baby's got softer as Sawyer spoke to him until he was silent except for soft baby coos.
"How did you do that?" Claire asked amazed, taking the baby from Sawyer's offering arms.
Sawyer shrugged, "Some baby's like to be held upright to the chest instead of cradled." He stated, Claire set the baby back in the cradle and looked at Sawyer.
"How do you know that?" She asked, Sawyer shrugged and turned and started walking away, "Thank you." She shouted after him.
"Welcome" He hollered back.
THAT EVENINGSawyer was sitting on the beach, watching the waves when someone sat beside him. He looked and saw it was Claire, "Hey." She said softly.
"Hey." He replied looking at her questioningly.
"Are you ok?" She asked.
"Yeah, why?" he asked.
"You've been really quiet today, you seemed upset, and you're watching the waves by yourself and you keep taking out something in your pocket then putting it back in." She reasoned. Sawyer sighed and looked down, "What's wrong?"
"Just thinkin' of the past." He muttered, looking back out into the ocean.
"What do you keep looking at?" Claire asked softly, he sighed again and took out the photo, showing it to her. "Who's that?"
"That's me," he said pointing to him in the picture, "And that was my daughter Sara."
"You're daughter?" Claire asked shocked, "You're so young in the picture."
"I was nineteen she was three." He muttered looking at the picture.
"How old is she now?"
"She would be thirteen, but she died when she was five."
"Oh, I'm sorry." Claire gasped.
"Don't be, you didn't kill her." Sawyer stated, putting the picture back in his pocket.
"What happened?"
"You want to hear a long story?" Claire nodded and he sighed, "When I was sixteen, I slept with a twenty year old named Lydia. She got pregnant, I stayed with her through out the pregnancy, told her I would stick by her side, and I did. We had a fight one night after Sara was born, she was only one month old."
Flashback"Fuck you James!" Lydia screamed.
"Calm down, you're gonna wake her."
"Do you think I care about that bastard child!"
Sawyer was boiling with anger, "Don't call her that." Lydia spat in his face and grabbed her duffel bag, storming out the front door. Sara was screaming in her crib and Sawyer scooped her in his arms, pulling her to his chest, "It's gonna be ok, baby girl, It'll be ok."
End
"Lydia never came back." Sawyer paused and glanced at Claire, "We did ok for a while, money was tight but I did my best. But when I was nineteen I took out a loan I couldn't payback, so they some pretty dangerous guys were on my back. They told me if I didn't come up with the money they would kill Sara then me." Sawyer looked down, "So I did the one thing I could think off, the one thing I had promised myself I wouldn't do. I found a pretty girl with a dumb husband, made up some story about an investment and I need the money, she gave it to me, expecting to split the profit. I got the money and skipped town. Moved out of Tennessee to Arkansas."
"Why had you promised yourself you wouldn't do that?" Claire asked softly.
"When I was eight my mom was conned the same way, stole all my daddy's money. One night my mom wakes me up hides me under the bed and my dad's pounding on the door, furious." Sawyer started, "Then he busted down the door and was screaming at my mom, I couldn't see anything cuz my door was closed, then a gun went off, he shot her dead. Then he walked into my room, sat on my bed, then shot himself in the head."
"Oh my god." Claire gasped.
"So I promised I would kill the son of a bitch that conned my mother. His name was Frank Sawyer. After my first con I changed our names. I became him. So now I was conning families over and over, moving Sara and I to different places in the south.
"We were living in Virginia when I met this guy named Hibbs, he hooked me up with good jobs, made it so I didn't have to move so much. Sara had just turned five and was starting kindergarten, she was so happy, I had gotten her this pink backpack and she was ecstatic, I never understood how such small things made her happy, I loved to spoil her." Sawyer smiled for a minute remembering, then he frowned, "While she was at school one day Hibbs came over and told me he had a job for me in Tampa. I took it, of course, I just wanted to be able to support her, get her the things she wanted." Sawyer's voice started to crack.
"I couldn't find someone to watch her because it was spring break for her school, but I knew people in Tampa from us moving around. I said I had a business deal I had to go to, they agreed to watch her.
"I had promised her that when I was done I was going to take us up to Orlando, Florida to Disney World. She wanted to go to that castle, Cinderella's Castle. She was bouncing off the walls."
Flashback"Daddy when are we going to see Cinderella?" Sara asked from the backseat.
"Soon, I have to work first, so you're going to stay with some friends for a couple days ok?" Sawyer asked, glancing at her in the rearview mirror. She smiled and nodded. He pulled into a parking lot and was greeted by his old friend Susan.
"James! It is so good to see you!" Susan pulled him into a hug. He hugged her back, "Oh my god, this can't be Sara, look how she's grown, she's so beautiful James." Sawyer beamed with pride.
End
"So I left her with friends and went and did the job." Sawyer shrugged, "We were on the way to Disney World and had stopped at a mall, so we could stretch our legs from driving. We were walking back to the car in the parking garage. I was getting her in the back when someone came up behind me."
Flashback"Don't move" A voice growled, a cold metal object was pushed to his head. "Turn around slowly." Sawyer did just that and he stared at the barrel of a gun. "Your Hibbs's guy?"
Sawyer nodded, "Yeah."
"He stole from me."
"What does this have to do with me?" Sawyer asked. Sara was watching wide-eyed at the gun.
"Daddy?" she whimpered softly.
"Hush baby, just sit there." Sawyer ordered softly.
"You're going to give him a message for me, or at least your body is." The man laughed.
"Not in front of my daughter, man." Sawyer begged.
"Shut up or I'll shoot her too." The man growled. Sawyer became silent immediately. The man cocked his gun and was about to pull the trigger.
"NO! DON'T HURT HIM!" Sara screamed jumping in Sawyer's arms as the man fired. Sawyer stood there and then dropped to his knees, the man just stood in shock.
"Freeze! Drop your weapon!" A voice yelled.
"I didn't want to—" The man started but he couldn't finish. Sawyer knelt there with Sara in his arms, blood covering him. Sara's blood.
Sawyer stared at her then just broke down, his body racking with heart wrenching sobs. Tears falling onto his lifeless daughter's face. "Sara." He whispered, "Please don't be dead." The man was dragged away in handcuffs.
"I didn't mean to kill her." The man muttered, "Just him, I didn't mean to hurt the little girl." Sawyer laid down Sara on the ground and charged after the man tearing him away from the police officer.
He threw the murderer onto the ground, "YOU KILLED HER YOU BASTARD!' Sawyer roared, throwing punches. The police tried to pull him off but he kept screaming and hitting him, "SHE WAS MY EVERYTHING! SHE'S WAS ONLY FIVE! HOW CAN YOU KILL A FIVE YEAR OLD? WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST KILL ME?" Sawyer screamed at him, tears streaming down his face. Sawyer let him be pulled away and stared at the man as he was pulled away, then turned and saw them covering up his baby girl with a sheet. His daughter was dead.
End
Sawyer had tears streaming down his face, glinting in the now setting sun. Claire just looked t him, "Oh, Sawyer." She breathed; she knelt next to him and hugged him, surprised that he didn't pull away.
"I haven't told anyone that." He whispered.
"It's good you let it out, Sawyer, it would have made you turn completely cold if you didn't let it out." Claire soothed him, running a hand through his hair.
"Thanks for listening." Sawyer smiled at her, Claire smiled back and wiped his tears.
"Come on let's walk back to camp, we've been sitting here for a while" Claire said pulling him up, "People will think we got eaten by a polar bear or something." Sawyer chuckled and they walked back to camp hand in hand.