Chapter 15: Surviving when your love is lost

Her phone was ringing, over and over; it hadn't stopped ringing the whole afternoon. But she didn't felt like answering it, she hated life at this very instant. And whoever it was, it could wait.

Since she returned from the airport everything she had done was just lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling, crying, those dammed tears seemed to be eternal, they just kept on coming.

She felt so miserable, she tried her best not to cry at the airport, but it had been so depressing, at least he didn't see her crying. It just seemed that life had no meaning all of a sudden. They were there, on the airport, making jokes, eating an ice cream while they waited for him to have to board.

And then the speakers announced he had to board, they started walking towards the gate, and then just like that they had to say goodbye. They kissed, they hugged, he touched her face, her hair, he looked at her and she saw as much pain in his eyes as she was feeling.

Life was a bitch, then he was gone, and she was on her way back home. He promised he would call as soon as he got there, but he said that it might be possible they wouldn't let him call, so at least he would write.

Apparently those bastards that called him back to China had this strict regime for him where all contact with the outside world wasn't allowed. She really hated life.

She noticed it was dark outside, she had been there for several hours now, and she started feeling her stomach complain. She went to her bathroom, cleaned her face and went downstairs.

His father had cooked her favorite meal, but she wasn't really that hungry. She ate anyway but just because her stomach was giving her a hard time.

When it was almost ten, the doorbell rang, and her father went to open the door. In stormed Tomoyo, looking so desperate it almost made Sakura smile.

"SAKURAAAA!" she screamed, running to her friend and giving her a hug. "Why don't you answer your god dammed phone! I was worried sick! I thought something had happened to you! I was so worried" Tomoyo hugged her then looked at her and then kept on hugging her.

"I'm ok Tomoyo" Sakura said softly "I just didn't feel like talking"

Tomoyo looked at her and gave her a faint smile, then hugged her again. Sakura wouldn't recognize it, but being with her friend made her feel somewhat better, all those hugs were very much needed.

"I know" Tomoyo said trying to make her feel better "I know you want to be alone but if you want I can sleep over tonight, or you can crash in my place" Tomoyo was trying her best to try and comfort her.

Sakura nodded at her friend

"I would like it if you stayed here"

"Ok then! What do you want to do? We can rent movies, we can… eat pizza… whatever you want to do we'll do it!"

"Actually I just want to do nothing" Tomoyo took a deep breath and smiled

"Ok then!" She tried to sound cheerful, "let's go upstairs then"

Both girls went upstairs and just spent the rest of the night talking. Tomoyo knew how devastated her friend was, and she was trying her best to cheer her up, but she knew it would take some time before she could be usual self.

Several weeks had passed, school had already finished, everyone was making plans to go to college, parties, the usual thing. Sakura tried her best to return to her normal life, but being happy was a little hard when the love of your life is gone.

He hadn't called, he hadn't emailed her. She knew it wasn't his fault, she knew he loved her, but she couldn't help but think that they were really over. Somehow she had hoped that they would still be together. But apparently they really had confined him into loneliness there.

That week there was a huge party going on. Some guy planned it, and the whole school was going to be there. It was one of those 'must go' parties. Sakura had refused to go at first, but her friends had managed to convince her.

And now the party was just three days away. Tomoyo was going hectic choosing their outfits; Sakura had made it clear that she wanted something normal, something she would wear on her own and not being forced.

"I've got them!" Tomoyo entered her house screaming, Sakura was in the kitchen trying to find something to eat, but apparently her dad had forgotten to buy food.

"You've got what?" She asked still concentrated on finding food, but it seemed like an impossible mission, so she surrendered.

"Our clothes!" She had that crazy look Sakura knew all too well. "They are going to be the best; no one will be able to forget us that night"

Sakura made a helpless smile. She noticed Tomoyo had no bag with her; which meant the clothes were at her place.

"So I suppose we are going to your house?" She dared to ask

"Of course!" She grabbed Sakura's arm and started pulling her out of the house.

"Wait!" Sakura said "I'll only go if we stop for food on the way… I'm starving!" Tomoyo nodded and then they left the house.

After stopping at the grocery store Tomoyo got convinced that Sakura was dealing with her loneliness by eating sweets, she bought so many cookies, cakes, and chocolates Tomoyo thought they were buying food for an army.

Once in her house, they proceeded to eat and then try on the clothes.

Tomoyo had made her green dress, which was supposed to go over a pair of jeans. The look was nice, and Sakura accepted to wear it. The dress had spaghetti straps and it had some shinny thingies sown into it. And over it she had the perfect wooden belt that finished the look.

"A little hippie" Sakura started, looking at herself on the mirror "I like it!"

Tomoyo felt like the greatest person in the world, being able to make Sakura and outfit that she liked at the first try.

She had chosen for herself a nice purple shirt and a denim skirt, along with a pair of brown boots.

With their outfits chosen, now Tomoyo could rest, so they decided to go to a coffeehouse they were getting fond of. Eriol and the others were probably there, so they got in the car and headed towards the coffeehouse.

The place was crowded when they got there, but their friends had already saved them their seats. Sakura decided to go buy something to drink so she left her friends, and when she was walking she heard someone speak her name. She turned around and found Aki there. She was a little surprised; she hadn't seen him in a long time.

"Hey" She said softly

"It's so nice to see you!" He said "What are you doing here?"

"I'm with the guys, he had nothing better to do… you know us" Aki smiled at her

"How've you been" She knew what he was talking about. She had hated him once but now she considered him just a regular person.

"Fine, you know… surviving"

"Well… we could hang out one of this days, and catch up"

"Sure" Sakura said "I have to go Aki, are you going to the party? Maybe I'll see you there"

"Yeah! See you there"

She discovered that, though she would never go back with him, he was a good friend, they had been together for such a long time, that being friends was the least they could be.

When they reached the party the place was crowded, loud music, lots to drink. Sakura got there with Eriol, Tomoyo, and Yamazaki. Immediately they found something to drink and choose a spot to spend the party.

There was so much people in the party that it was a little hard to listen to what they were saying so, after a while Eriol and Tomoyo got lost, Yamazaki went with Sakura to find someone else, and they spent a long time walking, drinking, talking, and finally they decided to go dance for a while.

Sakura found out she was actually having a good time. It wasn't as if she was getting over Syaoran, but at least she was managing to live her life normally.

While they were dancing Sakura noticed Aki was walking towards them. He said hi and then asked Sakura if she wanted to go walk with him for a while. Sakura knew Yamazaki was with her not to leave her alone, so she decided to go with Aki, so Yamazaki could enjoy the party.

They found a spot were they could actually talk and hear each other perfectly.

"Are you having fun?" He asked "This party is really great!"

"Yeah" Sakura agreed, remembering how much Aki enjoyed parties "It's ok"

"So what's with the hippie look?" He asked, eyeing her.

"Tomoyo" She answered "You know her"

They were talking about nothing in particular. Sakura learned that Aki had been single for a while now, and that he was planning to go to another city to study. She told him she was going to stay there, and go to college there.

"Sakura" He started after a while "I… I've been meaning to ask you something" She looked at him, with a wondering look, inviting him to keep on talking "Look I know I was an ass to you, but I really love you… I was just wondering if you would consider giving me a second chance"

Sakura froze for a second, she wasn't' expecting this, she thought they were only friends now, she thought he had moved on as she had done.

"Aki… I… I'm sorry, but I moved on" She said to him "I mean I still care for you, even though you WERE an ass to me, but… I moved on" She said to him, she noticed the disappointment on his face, and wished she could say something else to him, but she just didn't want to get involved in more drama.

"It's ok… I just thought that you might still love me" He said sadly

"I… care for you, but it's Syaoran I love" She said, and she felt a deep pain on her heart as she said this.

"But he is gone Sakura! He probably won't come back!"

"I know!" She answered getting upset "But still I can't help but feel this way!"

They stood silent for a while, and then Aki told her that he was leaving, apparently being friends wasn't going to be possible for them.

She went to find Tomoyo and told them she was leaving; she decided to omit her little encounter with Aki, the least she talked about it, the less drama.

The party wasn't far from her house, so she walked, when she got to her house she noticed that lights were on in Syaoran's house. For a slight second she hoped she would see him on the window, but it wasn't him, it was Wei, he was packing everything to go back to China himself.

She took a deep breath and entered her house. Hoping that she would feel better the next day, and that if Syaoran wasn't gonna come back, that she could forget about him as soon as possible.

AN: Hey! I've been working really hard on this fic, so I don't have leave you guys waiting for the next chapter. I believe I already told you guys that it is almost finished…

Please review! I really like to know what you guys are thinking about my fic, I think I'll start working on a new one as soon as I finish this one, but don't worry I won't leave my other fanfic "loving the night" forgotten!

Anyway please review! Bye!