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Mark's POV (a month later)

My camera has nothing to shoot. Roger is no longer fair game. I don't even want to see him. The hurt is too much. I want him, he wants me but…Maureen.

Heroin.

The past.

So many reasons not to go through with it. I've contemplated so many fuckin' times if everything is worth it. If being with Roger is worth losing Maureen and putting myself at risk.

"Marky? You home?" Maybe she won't hear me. Maybe I'll just dissolve into my bed and won't have to deal with any of this. "Mark?" She walks into my room and rests against the doorframe. "Hi."

"Hi." I keep my head facing the ceiling, prompting her to climb next to me on the bed. I look over and see a somber look coming from her usually perky face. "Why are you home so early? We need the money."

"They let me off, it's lunch anyways. Did you eat anything baby?" I ignore her, I never eat anyway, why should things change?

"I'm just lying here waiting for my next inspiration to come."

"Do you love me Marky?" Her hand rests on my arm and I laugh.

"Not when you call me Marky."

"Mark! I'm serious." She squeals, and I can tell she is. I sigh and turn over on my side.

"Yes, I love you. Do you love me?" Tears roll down her cheeks and I reach over to get a tissue for her. She takes it, although it makes her cry harder.

"Yes. That's why I have to tell you the truth." She closes her eyes tight, building up courage. Her mouth opens, and so does the bathroom door.

"Hello? I'm out of the shower." Roger sounds refreshed and Maureen runs to slam the door. Roger's in a towel, water running down his body, his hair sticking to…NO! Not the time, focus on Maureen.

"Mark, don't flip out okay?" She doesn't wait for my answer, but tells me anyway. "I'm in love with someone else." My mouth drops open in shock. Suddenly my world feels like it's collapsing down around me. Even though Maureen is not my everything, that's what was just pulled out from under me. My support is gone. If I didn't love Maureen, I knew she loved me, and that's all that mattered. The thought of losing her is unbearable. Just breaking up would be one thing, but there's someone else. Now that hurts. Stings even.

My words sputter out of my mouth like oil out of an engine. "Wha…what…what? Someone…I can't..someone else? You're in love with someone else?" I thought if we would have this conversation at all it would be me telling her that I am falling for someone else. But never her, she just has meaningless sex. Now everything seems meaningless to me. It's like every wall around me is slowing pushing inward.

"Well, yes. I'm so sorry Marky. I love you so much, and at first I tried to break it off but she just…" I put my fingers up to her lips and she shrugs. She knows what word I am baffled by.

"Did you just say?" My mouth hangs open, wide and dry.

"Mmhmm." Her eyes close and I can feel her lips kiss my index finger. I know she doesn't want to hurt me. I'm not even mad, I just feel betrayed and alone. The first thing that comes to mind. Roger.

"Marky, say something." There have been a few minutes of silence, I had to get my thoughts together.

"I….don't know. I'm so confused. Who is…she?" I regret putting emphasis on the word she, I'm not judging, but it sure sounds like it.

"Her name is Joanne. She's a lawyer, it's been going on for a while now, longer than I care to tell you. Please don't hate me Mark. Know that I still want to be your friend." She smiles wishfully, but she shouldn't worry at all. The only thoughts I have now are if I should pursue Roger. Should I tell Maureen? No, there is nothing to tell. Roger is my friend.

"That's great for you, Mo. I don't hate you, not at all. Us as a couple, I don't think it's the greatest idea." She looks down at my bedspread, caressing my knee with her palm. Her smile is so sweet and I can't help but be madly in love with her…as a friend that is.

"Okay. I'm sorry. I'm gonna go pack." Her lips brush against my cheek and I grab her arm.

"You're moving out now?"

"Well, yea. I told Joanne I would be out last week, so I'm late as it is." She karate kicks the door open and waves to Roger, directly outside of it. He's pretending not to be listening, but blushes and smiles at me embarrassed.

"Everything okay?" He asks and slides in a few steps.

"Sure. Just got dumped. Kinda sucks."

"Awww, Mark….I'm sorry." He uses the opportunity to slither over to my bed and lay his hand on me. "You okay?"

"Fine. Just a little shell shocked is all." Roger doesn't try to make a move, and I appreciate it, but for some reason I want him to. Just once, I wouldn't push him away if he tried.

"Good."

"It is?" I look up into his eyes, hoping for some inspirational reason for why I am better off without Maureen.

"Yea…now…I'm not alone with my guitar anymore." White gleaming teeth show through his soft, pale lips, and the sun hits his face just right. His hair was recently cut, not as short as it once was, but the perfect length. Long enough to run your fingers through. Not that I would know, having never touched Roger's hair. I bet it's soft. I can tell by the way it shines and falls on his face.

"You never were." His smile drops, but he's not frowning. He has a look of want. He wants to reach out for my face, I can feel it. I love that he listened to what I said before, he doesn't want to fuck me up. I told him not to, but now I am the one ready to fuck myself up. I want to make a move.

"We should go out. Out to eat."

"Do you have money?"

"No! Where do you think I would get money from?"

"Well, it was your idea!"

"Then nevermind." His body collapses next to mine and I lay back down again, my head slowly sinking into the feathers of the pillow. He's about to fall off but doesn't say anything. " I'm so bored around here with nothing to do. I could play guitar but my fingers are raw." I pick up his hand and feel the calloused fingers with my own.

"They're not so bad. You should at least try to tune it."

"Huh?" His attention returns to me, instead of our hands rubbing together.

"Your guitar, your hands."

"Oh, right." The inside of my stomach is bombarded with butterflies, I feel that nervous twist of excitement within me. "Will you lay here with me for a little while? I'm so lonely out there." His head tilts to look at me and I nod, watching him close his eyes in delight. Before long, he's asleep, snuggling against my side. My eyes struggle to stay open, but they can't for another second. The feeling of Roger next to me makes me forget all about Maureen and "Joanne".

Notes: I thought maybe there would be a little interaction between the two, but I'll save it for later. No muffin in this chapter guys, sorry!