Changes in the Wind

Gashes Chapter 10

"Hey Cal, where's today's mail?" Tim asked off handedly as he wandered into the kitchen and sidled up behind her at the sink.

Visibly startled at the sound of his voice, she quickly jerked herself around to face him, at the same time dropping the wine glass she had been rinsing into the sink. The sound of broken glass punctuated the moment, causing her to startle once more. She drew in a sharp breath before speaking. "Tim why do you do that?" she asked, her eyes widened in surprise. "Look what you made me do," she accused before glancing back into the sink.

"I didn't do anything except walk into the room and ask you a question," he answered innocently. "What's got you so jumpy?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow at her questioningly. "All night you've been like this, distracted and antsy." Concerned now, he couldn't help but notice how pale she looked. "What's wrong?" he asked softly, reaching out for her.

"Nothing is wrong," she answered tersely. "You don't have to keep asking. I just didn't hear you come in. I guess I was preoccupied," she said, ignoring his attempt to put an arm around her, instead turning her attention back to the broken goblet in the sink.

"Be careful grabbing … that," he said at the same time she winced and drew back her hand. "Here, let me look," he said, seeing the bloody finger.

"It's fine, just get me a towel please," she said, cradling one hand in the other. Grabbing the towel he offered, she efficiently wrapped it around her bleeding forefinger.

"Let me look, we need to make sure you don't need stitches."

"I don't need stitches, it's not bleeding that much. I don't think it's very deep. I just need a bandage. I can take care of it," she said sharply and headed down the hall for the bathroom.

Carefully removing the broken glass from the sink, he deposited it in the trash before wandering into the bathroom, where he found her struggling to open the bandage with her teeth. He couldn't hide his smile at her stubborn streak as he grabbed it out of her mouth. "You don't have to do everything yourself, you know. I won't think any less of you if you ask me to help open your bandage," he said, trying to lighten her mood. Gently he placed the bandage on her finger after first inspecting the cut, then raised the newly dressed finger to his lips for a kiss. "Might keep you out of the firing range for a day, but I think you'll recover."

"Thanks," she said, smiling weakly. "Did you get all the glass?" He nodded. "I really loved that set, now it's incomplete," she announced sadly.

"I'll get you a new one, I promise and I'll wear a bell so you can hear me coming and we won't have any more wine glass incidents," he said, pulling her close and dropping a kiss on her head. "You sure you're okay?" he asked again.

The flash of smile she gave him seemed genuine, but he was still troubled by her out of sorts mood. The day following the Valentine's Day disappointment, he had pulled out all the stops in his attempt to rectify his neglect and she had forgiven him wholeheartedly. Flowers, candy, and scented candles were nice touch, but it was the unexpected evening of pampering that won her over. They had since settled back into their easy compatibility, leaving nothing to suggest her mood had anything to do with their relationship. It had to be work related, he decided, but having spent almost the entire day in the field, he was unaware of what might have gone on that would be distressing her tonight. Whatever it was, she wasn't liable to tell him till she was good and ready, if even then.

"I'm fine," she said, moving away. "What was it you were looking for anyway?" she asked, changing the subject.

"The mail."

"It's where it always is. Did you even look?" she asked distractedly.

"Yeah Cal, I did. Which is why I asked you, cause you brought it in, but it's not on the desk where it usually is."

"Are you sure?" she asked before heading to the small spare room that served as their shared office. "That's odd," she remarked, looking perplexed, as she examined her neat desk and found no sign of the day's mail. "And it's not on your desk?" she asked, casting a glance at the chaos on his desk. He shook his head. "But how would you even know?" she questioned with a half smile.

"Trust me, I'd know. It only looks disorganized," he said, glancing at the various piles of journals, memos, bills, papers and photographs that seemed to be slipping into each other and spilling over the edges of the desk.

"Where'd I put it then? I know I brought it in," she said to herself as she wandered to the bedroom. "Here it is," she called after finding it on the bed. "I must have dropped it here when I came in to change," she explained, handing it off to him.

"Thanks, next time I'll look for it in the bedroom," he said, smirking. "You want me to help you finish whatever you were doing in the kitchen?"

"No thanks. I think I'm done. I'm tired. I'm just going to get ready for bed. It's been a long day," she said. Studying her through concerned eyes, he thought she looked more than tired; she looked downright droopy, with slumped shoulders and stray hairs falling in her face. The urge to embrace her was strong, but it seemed this was one of those times it might be best to take his cues from her and for now, just let her be.

"I'll be right behind you. I just need to take care of a couple things. I'll leave this on your desk," he said, waving the mail, "unless you want it with you in bed?"

"Cute," she said, giving him a genuine smile. "But no, the desk is fine. Thanks."

He watched her for a moment, then headed to the office, separating his mail from hers on the way. Checking his watch, he was surprised by the early hour she was turning in, but figured it wouldn't hurt to get a good night's sleep. Before turning out the office light, he opened his desk drawer and stuck his hand into the way back, till he landed on the long narrow gift box he picked up just today from the jeweler. Reassured it was safely tucked away, he shut the drawer and flicked off the light. Smiling to himself, he wished he didn't have to wait to her birthday to give it to her. Quite pleased with his selection, he was eager to see her reaction.

Inside the box was a gold charm bracelet. Each charm was chosen with care and had special significance: the first was a tiny golden gun, both because of the field they worked in and her love of firearms; next came a shell, to remember that first night on the beach; a tiny Christmas tree, to serve as a reminder of the night it finally came together for them; a small key, because they were now sharing a home; a snowflake, which would've represented the trip to Maine he originally planned; and finally, a heart with a diamond set in the center and Love, Tim engraved on the back. He hoped she liked it, he didn't know much about jewelry and wasn't sure charm bracelets were worn anymore, but the saleswoman had assured him they never went out of style. It just seemed like something Calleigh would like. He remembered his grandmother had had one, which she gave to his mother before she passed away. Maybe this was something Calleigh would pass on someday. With that thought in mind, he still had a smile on his face when he joined her in the bedroom.

She was lying on her side facing the wall with the covers pulled to just below her chin, but was still awake. Sliding under the covers after he readied himself for bed, he scooted next to her, draping one arm across her on top of the blanket and the other above her pillow. Wordlessly she turned in his arms and leaned in close, reaching for his lips with hers. Clasping her body against his, he was surprised by how tense she felt in his arms, a definite contrast to how passionately she was kissing him. The sound of his ringing cell phone startled her and he felt her body tense even more. Instinctively he drew his arms tighter around her before reaching for his phone from the nightstand. "Relax Cal," he said softly. "It's just my phone. It's probably Horatio returning a message I left for him earlier." She rolled away from him while he took the call.

With his brief conversation concluded, he turned back on his side and reached for her. "Cal, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, the phone just surprised me, that's all," she said, still on her side, facing away from him.

"If nothing's wrong, then why are you wound tighter than a yo-yo?"

"A yo-yo?" she asked, turning to face him and attempting a smile.

"It was all I could come up with, but you know what I mean. I can feel the tension in your shoulders," he said as he stroked her back between her shoulder blades.

"It's nothing Tim. I'm just tired. It was a busy day."

"I know how you are tired and this isn't it. Did something happen at work today?" He felt her sharp intake of breath before she tried to change the subject again.

"Could we just not talk about this?" she asked with downcast eyes. He shook his head as he caressed her cheek.

"Cal, whatever it is, you can tell me."

"I know that. It's really nothing Tim. I don't want you overreacting." His eyebrow rose alarmingly at that comment, making him absolutely certain he did want to know what was going on. She sighed deeply and he imagined her wrestling with the decision of whether or not to let him in. "Frank brought in a good suspect for the triple homicide we've been working." He nodded for her to go on. "He looks good on paper and we can tie him to two of the victims, but we've got no weapon to put in his hand and he has an alibi, albeit a shaky one, but so far it's holding up. So, basically we didn't have enough to hold him and we ended up cutting him loose."

"You're sure he's not your guy?"

"Well, that's just it, I'm not convinced he's not, but I can't prove he is." Closing the space between them, she rested her head on his chest, her favorite position and twined her arms around him.

"So what happened?"

"Well," she paused, "Frank left first and the officer in the room was escorting the suspect out and he," she hesitated again, "well, he threatened me."

"What do you mean he threatened you?" he asked, feeling his heart rate increase. "What exactly did he say?"

"You know Tim, what they always say. It happens. We all get threats. I wasn't overly concerned," she said, attempting to downplay the incident, but he felt her tense again.

"What did he say when he threatened you? And did you tell Frank or Horatio or anyone?" he asked, unable to hide his concern.

"Just something about needing a closed casket when he finished with me or something like that. He was just spewing off at the mouth, mumbling under his breath, really. It wasn't like an out and out threat, that's why I didn't take him too seriously," she continued from her position against him.

"That doesn't sound like nothing to me. Why didn't you have him held after that?" he asked, attempting to keep the anger out of his voice.

"Because I still think he's a good suspect, we just need a little more evidence, that or wait till he trips himself up," she said, turning now so that she faced him and met his gaze.

Holding her eyes in his, he could tell she was holding something back. He also knew her well enough to know an idle threat wouldn't spook her. "What aren't you telling me?" he asked very softly.

"It's probably nothing."

"Why don't you let me be the judge of that."

"When I walked out to the parking garage tonight, I thought I saw someone hanging by my car … and I wondered for a moment if it might be him, he had the right height and build, or so I thought, but I didn't get close enough for a good look. It could've been anybody or just something I imagined, I'm not sure. I looked behind to see if anyone else was around and when I turned back there was no one. I just got a bit apprehensive when I thought it could be him, that's all…" her voice trailed off and she studied his face, accurately reading his expression. "Tim don't look so worried, it was probably nothing. Lots of people have perfectly valid reasons for being in the garage," she said with certainty.

"Or you're just telling yourself that so you can sleep tonight. You're too observant to imagine something like that. Why didn't you report this? Especially after you were threatened earlier?"

"I knew you were going to react this way."

"Damn right Calleigh," he said sitting up. "Jesus, Cal, what were you thinking? A guy who's a suspect in a triple homicide threatens you and you think he could be hanging around your car and you do nothing? You should've had him picked up and held, or at the least, tailed. You have to tell H that this guy threatened you," he said, grabbing the phone and handing it to her. "You shouldn't be involved with this anymore if it's going to put you at risk."

"Tim, now you are really over reacting, we're at risk most days and we just deal with it There was nothing to report because there was no one there to report. I'm a cop, I know what to do," she replied with defiance, ignoring the phone he proffered. "This was an idle, mumbled, vague threat and maybe a fleeting person in the parking garage. If I weren't so tired it wouldn't have bothered me. It's been on my mind and a little hard to shake, that's all it is. Honestly Tim, you don't have to be this worried."

"Like hell, I don't. And if this wasn't an idle threat and this guy was hanging around waiting for you, what then?" he asked, roughly raking his hand through his hair with frustration.

"I had my hand on my gun. I'm capable of taking care of myself, just like I'm capable of doing my job. Why do you always forget that?"

"That's not really the point. I know you're an excellent shot, but what if you're put in a position where you can't get to your gun first? What happens then? It's not really something I want to find out." Agitated, he drew in a deep breath hoping to calm down. As if sensing his need, she sat up, placed one hand on his shoulder while reaching for his cheek with her other hand and pulled him to her, kissing him gently.

"I know you worry and as much as I don't want you to, I do understand. But I'm fine. You have to trust me and let me handle this. And I will. I was a little jumpy earlier and I told you because I don't want to keep things from you, but I'm fine now, so you have to let it go."

He shook his head. "I can't do that Calleigh." He understood what she was asking; he also understood that this was as close as she would admit to feeling momentarily out of control. For Calleigh, this was a huge admission and now, she was back in control and would deal with the situation herself, but for him, this wasn't something he could just let go of.

"You don't have a choice. This is my case. What goes on between us here, what we talk about, is just between us and stays between us. You can't interfere with my job. That's how it has to be, okay?"

"Cal," he said dropping his head and sighing deeply. She lifted his chin, forcing him to meet her eyes. "Fine," he said resignedly. She nodded and smiled. "I love you," he said, wrapping his arms around her and holding her tight. "But you have to deal with this. I want you safe."

"I love you, too," she returned, kissing him lightly. "And I will. I'm fine." He nodded and kissed her back. "You, though, seem pretty tense," she informed him as her arms went around his neck. "Think I have a solution for that," she said. Lying down, she pulled him with her and he willingly complied. Flush against her body, his arousal grew as she thrust her hips against him and sunk her lips into his neck. He wasn't ready to let this go, but his body betrayed him, leaving him no choice.

"I'm sure you do," he said, panting slightly as she continued caressing his neck with her lips. There was no doubt she had been successful in distracting him, but he would have the last word. "Oh, and Cal, I'm driving you in tomorrow," he said and moved his mouth over hers before she could protest.

CITW CITW CITW

"Delko, you seen Calleigh lately?" Tim asked his friend as he wandered into the layout room.

"Yeah, I think she left awhile ago and none too happily. Why?"

"We drove in together," he replied with an exasperated sigh.

"Then I think she stranded you. What'd you do?" Eric asked, laughing. "Oh, wait," he said, answering his own question. "This about that case H put me on? I saw the surveillance footage from the parking lot," he said, his expression now serious. "There was what appeared to be a fleeting image of a figure by her car, but not someone we could positively ID. Could've been anyone, didn't really look suspicious, but I couldn't see enough to be certain. She's not too thrilled with H wanting her to step back a bit on this one. But you know, she's out of town in a couple days and that's the reason he gave her, not that she believed him. You know how she can be when she gets something in her head," he said, keeping his eyes on Tim. "If you don't mind hanging around a bit, I'll give you a ride."

Shoving his hands in his pockets Tim shifted his weight restlessly. Not too thrilled, that was an understatement. "Yeah, thanks. I'm in no hurry. I'll be in trace, just come get me when you're ready."

"Will do," Eric said, lightly slapping him on the back as he headed away.

There was no question she was furious and undoubtedly had been avoiding him all day, as he supposed he had done with her. Although, in his defense, he'd tried to call her a couple times, only to have his call go directly to her voice mail. He had to admit, he wasn't exactly surprised she'd deserted him at work. It would be entirely too optimistic of him to think she'd simply forgotten they'd driven in together this morning, not after the fuss he'd made about not wanting her to drive in alone. She'd humored him, but that was this morning, when she still loved him. He had no choice now, but to try to explain when he got home and hope that she wouldn't be kicking him to the pavement. No matter what she thought, he hadn't betrayed her to their boss, not entirely anyway.

The ride home with Delko was a quiet one. His buddy fortunately kept his comments to himself, save the offer of his living room couch, to which Tim responded by reminding him that he still had his apartment for a few more weeks, he only hoped he wouldn't need it.

The apartment was quiet when he walked in and made his way to the kitchen. A quick glance at the spotless surfaces and gleaming chrome alerted him to her mood, not to mention the lingering scent of the lemon cleanser she favored. He imagined if he opened the cupboards the contents of each would be in perfect order. Undoubtedly too angry to sit still, the whirlwind behind this cleaning frenzy was nowhere in sight, meaning she'd moved on to her next area of attack. He wandered down the hall where he found her scrubbing the bathroom sink. Not missing a beat, she spoke without looking up.

"I really don't think I can talk to you right now."

"Calleigh," he said, sighing heavily and leaning against the doorframe, "I think we do need to talk about this. You're obviously mad at me and I'd like to explain."

Rising to her full height, she squared her shoulders and narrowed her eyes at him. "How could you Tim? How could you go behind my back to Horatio and undermine me?" she said with emphasis on 'behind my back'."

"I didn't undermine you to Horatio," he began, but she cut him off.

"Are you telling me you didn't talk to Horatio? Before I had a chance to? That you didn't reveal something I told you in the privacy of our bed, something I told you I'd handle?" she asked with darkened, angry eyes blazing at him.

"Not the way you think. Can we please go sit down?"

"No. I don't want to go sit down because I don't even want to be having this conversation with you," she said before returning to her scrubbing.

"I know you asked me to stay out of it," he started, before being cut off again.

"But you couldn't do that could you? You couldn't let me make my own decisions about how to handle this? How am I supposed to respond to that?"

"By giving me a chance to explain maybe," he said with agitation. "Yes, I saw H early this morning, but all I did was ask him what was going on with the case and if he thought the suspect you had yesterday was a threat. I didn't say anything else. It was a brief conversation, he was a little busy."

"That's all?" she asked, but it was obvious from her tone that she didn't believe him.

"Yeah, that's all," he answered, feeling the weight of her anger and distress squarely on his shoulders.

"And based on that he came up with everything else?" she questioned, prodding him for more.

"I don't know what he knew, but I didn't betray your confidence, not the way you think," he said, shifting his weight and dropping his head. He didn't feel guilty, but he did, if that was at all possible.

"What?" she snapped.

"I told him I was concerned," he said as he watched her expression change from anger to surprise to indignation.

"How could you do that without talking to me first? Without letting me talk to him first?" she asked, barely masking the fury in her voice.

"Because I was concerned," he said with emphasis, meeting her wide-eyed gaze. "Because if someone threatens you and is possibly lurking around your car in a parking garage, I tend to take it seriously."

"And I don't? Is that what you're saying? That I have no idea how to handle the situation, to do my job? Is that what you think?" Her posture matched her outrage she stood now with her back ramrod straight and her arms tightly crossed in front of her.

"No, that's not what I'm saying. Look Calleigh, I called you twice and tried to explain this, but you weren't available. I'm sorry you think I went behind your back." There was no question he was sorry he had upset her this way, but he couldn't say for sure he would do anything differently than he did.

"But you did it anyway," she said in an even voice as she drew in a deep breath and briefly relaxed her stance.

"If that's how you choose to look at it," he replied with growing frustration at her refusal to understand. But it was his own fault and he knew it, for he hadn't really told her why he did what he did, not really, not in any way that mattered.

Once more she faced off to him, her eyes boring into his as she spoke. "Tim just because we're sleeping together it doesn't give you the right to interfere in my life. I thought I could trust you."

The intensity behind each word struck him like a punch to the gut and he was both surprised that she would say such a thing and that it would hurt as much as it did. "So that's what we are, just sleeping together? Nice to know," he said with sarcasm and turned on his heel, making it half way down the hallway before she caught up to him.

"That … that, was a horrible thing to say. I'm sorry, I really am," she said very quietly with sincerity in her voice. 'Yeah it was,' he wanted to say, but refrained, for she probably felt more wronged than he did. He supposed, in her eyes, it was as if he'd used her weakness against her and broke her confidence at the same time. And for Calleigh, appearing weak anytime, but especially at work, was unacceptable. That she had shared her fear with him, without ever coming right out and calling it that, was a sign of her trust in him, trust she now felt he'd broken. What she didn't realize was that it was his weakness, his fear of losing her that led to his actions, or maybe she did and didn't care.

"I'm sorry, too Calleigh, for everything," he said, his eyes downcast. They stood just a foot apart, but made no attempt to connect. An uneasy truce had been declared, but the hurt that lingered in the air, was thick enough to cut through. "I, uh, think I'll go work in the office."

"I'm just going to finish up here, then go to bed," she said flatly, apparently no longer wasting emotion on him. He nodded and walked down to the office still thinking about the words she had hurled at him. Just words spoken in anger or did they hold some deeper meaning? This gash in their relationship seemed a little deeper than one that could be tended with a simple bandage, but just how deep it was, he didn't yet know.

TBC