Title: Wrong On So Many Levels
Rating: T (for language and thematic elements)
Date Started: 4/16/06
Date Finished: 4/17/06
Date Posted: 4/17/06
Disclaimer: I own nothing except Nona, the plot, and the mc who doesn't have a name
Quote: "The shifts of Fortune test the reliability of friends."
-Cicero (106 BC - 43 BC), De Amicitia
XXX
"This is wrong on so many levels," she says to him, placing both hands on his shoulders and pushing.
"So?" he demands passionately, true Gryffindor spirit igniting in his eyes.
He moves to kiss her again.
"Stop!" she whispers harshly, the word hanging between them heavily.
He groans, frustrated, and leans back, resting against the cupboards wall.
She moves a piece of her silky hair off her neck and gathers it up into a messy bun.
"I don't understand this- why we can only meet in broom cupboards or empty classrooms. Why?" he inquires, shaking his head as if to say 'this is stupid'.
She sighs and reapplies her lip gloss.
The minty smell assaults his nose and he sneezes, then feels a headache coming on. Feels it rushing from his brain to other parts of his head, spinning, twisting, circling in some bizarre whirlpool that hits him full force and head on.
She remembers something her sister had told her- it was only last month but it seems like ages ago.
'Wear your pain like lip gloss.'
She laughs hollowly, bitter- it seems like her whole life, all 16 years of it, have been split in half-
Life with a sister and life after a sister.
He studies her silently and a little desperate, but keeps his space, knowing first hand how she reacts in some situations.
"Just leave it," she snaps for the fourth time that day, as she realizes it's not worth getting worked up over.
She slumps down onto a bucket in front of him and rests her head against the cool wall of the closet willing the burning sensation in her throat to go away.
Of all things to happen she has to think about her sister at a time like this.
She gives a little gasp as her heart squeezes, and he's instantly kneeling down, touching her shoulders, and comforting- wondering what's wrong.
She realizes bitterly that he always seems to do this for her, she breaks down whenever he's around and he's always trying to make it better.
He asks her what's wrong every time as well, but she'll never tell.
If she has it her way she'll take it to the grave- Slytherin's aren't supposed to cry and be heartfelt like his damn Gryffindor's are.
Pathetic.
She shrugs his love off and stands up hastily, preparing on walking away and out to the Forbidden Forest for a while.
It's silly she thinks, how she'll endanger her life to be alone for just an hour.
But then again, when you're this screwed up inside- does it even matter?
"I'm leaving, I'll see you later," she snaps as she throws open the broom cupboard door loudly.
"But-" he begins, not wanting to be alone, or to have her leave, upset with him or herself.
She turns around and gives him her heavy-duty glare, the one that's been known to send some students to the infirmary.
He ignores it, and jumps out after her.
She strides down the hall, not looking behind her, going faster and faster in hopes of losing him before she gets out on school grounds.
"Wait up! Where are you going? The Slytherin common rooms are the other way!" he tries to persuade.
Finally she snaps, she has bent and broken.
"SHUT UP! Just shut the fuck up! I don't care, I need to get out of here and away from you- you're smothering me! I'm not yours to worry about so just leave me the hell alone!" she shouts furiously.
His eyes grow hard and he yells, "YOU IDIOT! Don't you dare tell me that I don't care about you and that you're not my responsibility. This is a relationship-"
"A relationship? We're snog buddies- in a lot of peoples books that's not a relationship. We're supposed to meet, snog, and leave and then do it again! No strings attached!" she cuts in, words caustic and harsh.
"but it's still a relationship and it has some value and trust level to it!" he finishes.
"You don't get it, get how I feel. You don't know what I've been through-" she doesn't finish because she's collapsing against the roughly cut stone wall and curling into a fetal position sobbing.
His eyes soften and he sits down next to her and wraps an arm over her shoulders and just lets her cry.
She doesn't lean into him or hug him or thank him, she just weeps into her drawn up knees and then explains.
"My sister was beautiful, smart, and talented- she had been top of her class while still in this school. She'd been in Slytherin as well, like me and the rest of my family before me. My parents were so proud of her- she would make an excellent Death Eater, one that He'd use and need, my mum even had hopes of their marriage one day. She was going to finally bring our family to more glory and honor then ever thought possible," she whispers, bitter.
He unconsciously moves a couple of inches away from her.
She doesn't notice.
"But she had something nobody else in our circle did. A heart. She watched from behind a dumpster when Death Eaters attacked Circe's Circle in France last year. She watched as they killed an expectant mother out shopping with her two little girls. And she realized that she couldn't be a part of something that did that. She told my parents and at first they were ok with it. Kept thinking she'd come around, but after a month they realized she wasn't going to and so they told her to get out and not come back until she'd made something of herself. I was heading back here for my 6th year that day."
He glances at her face covered in tears now and feels the deepest empathy for her.
"I didn't see Nona for 3 months, then one day I got a letter- a very short letter in her writing, telling me to meet her at The Three Broomsticks that night at 10. I did it and there she was, with two butterbeers waiting and a huge smile on her face. At first we talked about little, trivial things. Did I have a boyfriend? How was Ally, my best friend? Then it turned. She told me she'd been working against Voldemort, she'd gone to our Headmaster and explained everything. She offered her help as a spy- knowing at this time Slytherin's wouldn't be trusted in the field if aurors. He had agreed and for the past couple of months she'd been feeding information to Dumbledore about different attacks. She saved so many families! It was amazing to listen to her talk, I knew then and there that what she was doing was right. It was the only path I'd ever be able to take if I wanted to be able to live with myself. The next time we met was during Christmas break. I'd decided to stay at Hogwarts and Ally had to. I brought Ally with me this time and after another long talk with Nona, we both agreed that we'd keep it a secret and that what she was doing was right. Ally and I threw ourselves into our studies- Defense Against the Dark Arts, Potions, Transfiguration, Charms, even History of Magic- as soon as school resumed. I never met up with Nona again that year, only received a letter saying she'd see me at home and that she was safe."
"I was so excited she was going to be home this summer, I had so much I wanted to show her, to tell her. Everything went smoothly for most of the summer until my parents decided that Nona wasn't going to amount to much more than a simple Death Eater. They turned their focus to me. Told me I had good grades in the classes that would prove useful to me as a follower of Him. I was to shocked and cowardly to say no and fight for what I believed in. At Platform 9 ¾, the first day of 7th year, Annona pulled me aside and told me to tell my parents that I refused to do this. I swore I would- when the time was right."
He can tell she's building up to the tragic end of her story, he moves once again, so that he's pressed up against her side and so that she can feel he's physically and emotionally there for her. She wraps her arms around him, one around his waist and the other looped over and facing towards her on his arm and continues with her story.
"A few months passed and I found it was November already, and I realized that I had to tell my parents soon if I wanted any meaning to my life. So I did. I worked up the courage and told them three weeks ago. They were livid. They decided to come pull me out of school, I panicked and owled Nona. She came a week later and we had another long sisterly chat about nonsense things. Then she told me that she'd be there for me when our parents came and if all else failed to wear my pain like lip gloss. Well my parents came the next day and we all were ushered into Dumbledore's study. I told my parents I would never help them or Voldemort because he stole life from the innocent. My sister backed me up and my father told her not to even speak to him because he'd found out she'd been lying about what activities she'd been partaking in as a Death Eater. Such as the murder of Arabella Figg, who he'd seen just the other day in Diagon Ally, very much alive. Chaos ensued and finally my parents figured out she was a spy for the Order of the phoenix. They left quickly and three days later I got two letters from the Ministry. One about my sister being murdered. The other about my parents deaths."
"My parents told Voldemort she was a spy and he murdered her. My parents told him that I would still join though. Somehow he found out from someone in the school that I would not join his cause and had already told my parents this. He murdered them as well, claiming they were failures and worthless beings who deserved to die for raising two turncoat, blood traitorous daughters."
She gasps a little, and proceeds to hiccup, as she dries her eyes and looks him in the face.
"It's been so hard for me this past week- I may want to help your cause, but I still have so much Slytherin in me. Like keeping emotions inside and hidden, and being nasty to those who I should be helping, I just am so confused- I can't figure it out!" she turns to him, helpless and a little angry.
"It's ok, I'll help you- we'll help each other. We'll stick by each others sides from now on. Because I love you, ok?" he asks.
She nods and buries her head in his shoulder, breathing deeply- beyond comforted.
"You just have to change one thing to make this plan work," he says seriously.
"What?"
"You need to not be ashamed of me, we have to show others that a Slytherin and a Gryffindor can be together- that it doesn't matter whether you're muggleborn's, half blood, or pureblood- we're all one in the same. Tomorrow morning, if you agree and really want to fix this, we'll walk into the Great Hall holding hands and sit with our breakfast on the steps leading up to the teachers table. We'll be neutral- no house favoritism or rivalry. Do we have a deal?"
She smiles widely and kisses him hard and deep, so hard and heavy that he moans loudly and presses himself into her even more.
He intertwines their fingers and grins as she says, "Of course we have a deal, Harry," and brings his head back down to hers for more of his brilliant kisses.
The End
XXX
A/N: PLEASE REVIEW! WDTC will be updated asap, don't worry! Happy Belated Easter!
Luv,
BB
xoxo