Scarlet Rose Chapter 57, a candy candy fanfic

Chapter 57

Christian arrived late at the Perkins mansion. Although he followed social events and he frequented many of those parties thrown by the Bright Young Things, where to party hard to the point of acting insane was almost compulsory - you would risk being labelled a bore otherwise and shunt by the in circles - he was fonder of smaller, more intimate gatherings.

That particular night, he actually felt grateful for that party. He could shut out of his mind, everything that had occupied his thoughts lately. He counted on the drugs and the booze, he was sure they were freely available to help him with the task.

Given he was one of the latecomers, he was faced with an advanced state of intoxication from almost everyone else who was there already. Face expression became more pronounced, comical even. Guest were in an almost constant state of flux, moving between rooms, a lot of them dancing.

His gaze searched for Rose. He couldn't see her in the ball room. Not that it was easy to spot her if she had been there. A pair of hands covered his eyes. For a flashing moment, his heart jumped in his mouth. That much on the edge he was. He needed to relax. He touched the hands. Their skin was soft and the fingers were long and slim, adorned with rings. He smiled.

"It's the devil incarnate." He guessed.

He heard her roaring laughter. She uncovered his eyes and hugged him from behind.

"It's Audrey, you silly."

"Close enough." He said back. He turned to see her. "You look the part, as always."

"Nonsense. I looked better when you had me in your bed." She winked and licked her lips.

God knows what has she taken already

"And then I became not good for your as far as I can remember." Christian reminded her.

Once upon a time, Christian had fallen heads over heels for the young woman in front of him. Having returned from Paris, fresh faced and fired up to leave his mark, she was the one who had embraced him as a painter and as a man. For a while they were inseparable. Her drug fuelled, non-stop partying lifestyle eventually made his art suffer. Half of the time not having the energy to lift up his brushes and the other half being too wasted to do so.

He had loved her. He definitely thought so, back at the day. Infatuated with her drive to drink life down to its last drop. Hanging with Audrey was intoxicating just as much as it could be fatal. It came to a point when he suffered but he ignored it. Both of them did. Audrey was getting off the rails and so was he. Till her parents stepped in. They sent her away to Wales to an aunt of hers, for a whole year. Not only that. They forbid any contact with Christian. Of course for them, Christian was an unknown quantity, not knowing his real parents. Who knew which were his natural inclinations? What they had witnessed was a young man heading towards destruction. Keen to eliminate every bad influence in Audrey's life, while they sent her away, they had visited him at his home. In a few words, Christian wasn't someone they desired their daughter having a relationship with.

Within the same month, Audrey's letter arrived, telling him the same thing. They were not compatible. She loved him but she was given a chance from her parents to straighten out her ways and with him, she would find it impossible.

That night Raven was born.

"Water under the bridge, darling." She said with a smile.

She hadn't stopped wanting him. A part of her was still in love. Rose's fairy god mother had also an ulterior motive. Her friend could find happiness with her hot ex and she could perhaps get back to being more than friends with Christian...

"Where is Rose?" He asked her not wanting to go down that road. As far as he was concerned, Audrey had drawn that line ages ago and he wasn't keen to ever step over it again.

"I have no idea. I think I saw her at some point with Terrence Graham. Her cousin is dancing with Marion." She said and nodded with her eyes towards the dancing couple's direction. Christian's stare followed. It darkened...He turned back to Audrey. She had her eyes on his face, waiting to see his reaction.

"Come." She said and passed her arm over his, led him away from the ball room. When they reached the stairs for the rooms on the upper floor, he stopped.

"Where are we going, Audrey?"

"If you worry that I'm going to take advantage of pure, innocent you, don't." She said, mocking his curiosity. She went up one stair and looked back at him. "I just need some company and I missed you. Does that make me a bad person, Christian?"

He narrowed his eyes. He was certain, she wanted to snort some coke, certain she had been already high. He also was curious to hear more about Rose and Terry, and he sure knew she was going to gossip if he pressed her. Not to mention, the temptation to also "lose" himself for a night, after everything that took place... He laughed at her question.

She opened the room of her bedroom and they came in. He looked around. He'd been here before. It was as if he never left. Same flamboyant decoration, the gold guilted four poster bed, the ornate walnut wardrobes he could sleep in there with ease, the exquisite silk tapestries on the walls. The air smelled of gardenia and tobacco. His eyes fell on a small leather bag with a white rose clasp, left on Audrey's bed.

"This is Rose's..." He turned and said to her.

"Indeed it is." She confirmed while she opened a drinks cabinet, taking out two glasses and a heavy crystal decanter. He remembered his fruitless search for some bourbon in his flat, the night before. The visit from Alice, her news. She handed him his drink.

"What was she doing here?" He asked her.

"Oh, we had some girlie catching up before the party. She got dressed here with me. She wanted to stay at home but I had none of it."

"I see..." He commented, having heard about Rose and took a gulp of bourbon. He felt the alcohol heat inside his eyes, behind his closed eyelids. He opened his eyes again. Audrey had sat at her dressing table, lining coke on a piece of mirror. She lifted her head and smiled. Stretched her arm with the mirror and the lines in her hand.

"Share with me?"

He had stopped snorting cocaine when he had broken up with her. But the appetite for it hadn't gone, despite this being a chapter in his life he had closed. The breakthrough in his career and Rose had kept him with his feet on the ground. He wanted so much to turn the page. To erase Raven, the last remnant of a life he no longer believed in. This old life felt like it had passed chains over his body, not letting him escape it. The rush and the adrenaline of the drug, the euphoria, he craved more than anything at that moment. A chance for respite for him in the middle of all his troubles. He took the mirror from her hand. Snorted a couple of lines. His grey eyes shone. He let his head fall back, let a lough sigh of relief when his eyes rested on the white of the ceiling.

"Missed it?" He heard her ask.

He took a deep breath and brought his head back up. His gaze intensified. "Not really." He admitted.

"You could've fooled me." She said.

He drunk the remainder of the bourbon. He got up and took the bottle. Poured some more in his glass.

"Something troubling you Christian?" She asked and wiped her nose, cocaine gleam in her stare.

He gulped the drink down. He didn't want to stay in her room for long. Certainly he wasn't up for confessions. He wanted to know about Rose though.

"No, everything's fine." He lied and shrugged his shoulders.

She took a sip from her drink. He lit a cigarette.

"Really? I got a different impression from Rose."

Helping Rose, helping herself. Eager to feel his fingers on her body. All that coke had made her horny as hell.

"What do you mean?"

"I think you already know. It seems we all are haunted by our past." She got up, walked towards him. A cloud of tobacco smoke separated them.

"It is none of your concern, Audrey."

"Well I found it touching, she still has feelings for the actor." She said, the words calculated one by one, leaving her lips. The lips she hoped he'd kiss.

His mouth tensed, the groove between his brows deepened. But he remained silent.

"Just like I have for you." She confessed, the blood colouring her cheeks deep red. She stood right in front of him. Took the cigarette from his hand and brought it to her lips. Felt the moistness of its tip where his lips were. Took a deep drag, without taking her eyes from his. Blew the smoke out, crashed the remainder in the ashtray on her bedside table.

"So long for the innocent motives..." He observed. She had managed to throw him off a bit. Hadn't expected this. Hadn't expected Rose's confession to Audrey, despite knowing his ex, how she could make anyone open up to her. "What's the matter Audrey? Your fan queue dried up?"

She untied his bow tie, unfazed by the sarcasm in his voice. She knew him well. She wasn't to back down. Once he tasted her mouth, had his hands on her body, everything would come rushing back.

He'll see...

She unbuttoned the first two buttons of his shirt before he stopped her. Took her hands in his, his thumbs pressing inside her palms. She played with him.

"Why now...?" He asked her with a low voice, his eyes searching inside hers. "It's been five years since you broke up with me."

"Jealousy...? Another woman in your arms."

"Rose isn't the only one since then..."

"She's the only one that matters..." She replied straight away. It was true. She had liked Rose instantly and then, when she met Christian, she had tried to turn her off him.

He's a player, she had said to her.

He's not for you.

Be careful...

But fate had other plans. When people make plans, she laughs. When things became more serious between Rose and Christian, Audrey felt like fate was laughing at her, big time. It was selfish of her, she knew. She wasn't an item with him anymore. She was the one who had sent that break up letter to him. After a lot of ear chewing, her parents forcing her hand sort of speak...

She had distanced herself from Rose. Unable to keep looking at Christian having found his Muse. The Scarlet Rose...the calm satisfaction on her sleeping face. She had seen the painting. Chose a quiet day when neither Christian or Rose were there. He had never asked her to pose for him like that...

He heard her reply, spontaneous and straight to the point and he hadn't something to say back. Reason was what she said was true. Rose was the only one that mattered to him since Audrey. Five years down the line, his heart still carried the scar. Not to mention how that break up had become the catalyst for what he was living right at that moment. The Raven. Mac Donald's mob. Alice. Robert Shaw. Terry's threat. Everything that took place in the present had its seed on that drunken night at the Blind Beggar. After he had read her letter, asking him to forget her. Forgive her for the mess she had put him in. They weren't compatible after all...

She saw the impact of her reply on his face, his eyes. Those eyes, she had loved to be lost inside. She closed her fingers around his thumbs still pressing on her palms, brought his arms down while she raised her body on her toes. Her lips hover over his before she touched them. Smelled the bourbon on them. Her heart fluttered inside her kiss. He let go of her hands and closed her inside his arms. He returned her kiss. Felt her lips opening up, inviting him to take her breath, feel his tongue in her mouth, remind him what it was like back when nothing mattered apart from being in love. She was pulling him back in time. He remembered how good their kisses tasted, how he loved biting her lower lip, sucking it, feeling her tongue smooth to touch in his mouth, catching her sigh. They turned with Audrey's back facing her bed. He lowered her down, not stopping kissing her. He held her waist with one hand and steadied himself on the bed with the other. Her fingers lost inside his dark curls above his neck. She grabbed them, pulled his hair back. She wanted to see his face, his eyes on her. Recognise the desire she used to lit inside them.

"It won't happen Audrey." He said back to her, his voice heavy, hoarse. "I love Rose."

He stood up, straightened his body while she was still with her back lying on the bed. She took a deep breath and let it out through her nostrils. Closed her eyes and brought her arm over them. They were burning. "She loves the other guy, Christian."

"That may be, but I won't betray her. No matter what she feels."

Her words cut him inside though. He pushed his hair back, and paced inside her room.

"Where the hell have you been Audrey? Five years now!" He shouted. He hated her, how easily she could awaken feelings inside him, that he thought dead by now.

She got up, rushed by his side. Took his face between her hands. "We belong together, Christian. I just was too blind to see it."

"Too wasted more like..."

"I can straighten up." She pleaded with him.

"Too late, doll." He said back. She had no right to ask him, or tell him anything. She was the one that had decided for the both of them. Even if Rose didn't exist between them, now it was too late for everything. He didn't even know whether he'd be alive by the end of the summer.

He pulled the bow tie off his shirt, shoved it in his pocket. "Please take care of yourself." He said softly.

"She'll hurt you, you know." He heard her say as he opened the door of her room.

"There isn't much left to break in me Audrey. You've been there first." He said with his head bowed down, deciding not to look back at her. He closed the door and left.

Candy walked through the party guests, carving her own path like a lone boat sailing through the waves. She wasn't noticing much. Everything inside her mind had been occupied by Terry, their encounter at the balcony playing behind her eyes over and over.

I want you all for myself

The intensity of his gaze had kept her imprisoned and couldn't shake it from her mind, as much as she wanted to. She wasn't ready to return to the gaiety, the euphoria, the frivolous mood that had permeated the atmosphere with the same density the smoke from the lit fire torches was floating in the air. Dazed and in a state of complete surrender to her feelings, all she wanted was to find a quiet corner and let her thoughts drown in a river of champagne.

Finally luck smiled at her. Left inside a bucket of ice, in the shape of a bottle of champagne that someone had forgotten on a side table, as she walked through the hallway that led to the ball room. She grabbed it and took the bucket in her arms, looking around, and walked away carrying it as if it was spoils of war.

At that point and time, she didn't give two hoots for anyone. To hell with all the men in her life. To hell with her life, period. No one had say over her. While she walked, she thought what Mrs. Pony and Sister Maria would say if they saw her. Mischievousness rose in her throat like those champagne bubbles and reached her lips. She started laughing with all her heart. Tears streaming down her cheeks. They would probably have a stroke, God forbid.

You only live once, Candy.

She reached the stairs, leading to the rooms at the upper floor. Having given up on her search for a quiet spot, she sat down. Terry hadn't followed her. Probably he would be smoking alone outside, brooding. Wanting to smack her, more like. Even his kisses felt like punishment.

I could be punished like that any time.

Goosebumps made her spine curve. She took the champagne bottle. With a swing, she brought it to her lips and let the effervescent gold liquid tickle her throat. She let it down.

So very un-lady like.

She was drunk, very drunk. Around her, everything and everyone was in a constant flux. She felt invisible. Took another swig from the bottle. Suppressed a hiccup, just as she thought all were turning, the ceiling, the people, herself included. Like a merry go round of colours and sounds. She closed her eyes and let her body lie on the stairs. She didn't know how much time had passed but she felt being held up by two arms. Like a baby being carried away. She smiled, put her arms around her saviour's neck.

"Thank you..." She whispered. Took a breath, her head having nested on the shoulder of the person who was carrying her. Took in the smell of his body. She knew him. The noise died down. She opened her eyes, brought the person who had brought her into this room into focus.

"Christian..." She sounded surprised, she sounded relieved, she sounded guilty. Helped by the events of the night, and the excesses she had subjected herself so far, her voice carried so much. He had let her sit on the long reading table with him standing in front of her, nesting his body between her legs.

She looked around. They were inside the library of the house. The lighting, compared with the rest of the house had been dimmed, soft. And thankfully there was no one else there. The quietness and the lack of people felt welcome.

"I'm here." He whispered. There was a glint of longing inside his grey eyes. He pushed her hair out of her face. He examined everything with his stare. The beads of perspiration on her forehead, her flushed cheeks, her moist lips, her eyes he hadn't seen them as dark ever before. "What have you taken?" He asked her. His expression was serious, worried.

"Oh! only champagne...and cocaine..." She whispered and bit her lip. She smiled, looking exhausted. She knew, this was so unlike her. Usually she'd be the one who'd be reproachful about all that.

"Audrey...?" He asked her with pressed lips.

She nodded, before letting her forehead lean on his chest. He put his arms around her.

"Christian, we need to talk..." He heard her voice coming from his chest. It was calm, but it stirred like a dust devil inside him. He already knew where this would lead. He had been preparing for this for quite some time. If she wasn't to say anything, he would.

He raised her head, pushing her chin up. He held her green stare into his. She was his Grantchester Meadows. His peace and salvation. Remembered her sitting up the branch of the tree, mocking him, flirting with him. Pushing him to the edges of his restraint. Just like now, when the silence was bewitching and pregnant with the desire that was coursing inside their veins. They both knew the end was approaching, their needs remaining unfulfilled but so real. So real.

"I know"

She barely heard Christian's voice, his reply. It was no more than a faint breeze on her lips before she felt his. She grabbed on him. Her eyed turned into liquid pools. Heavy sighs rose in her throat. It was a dam that broke between them and their breaths became short and sharp. They were feeling each other, their kissing turning as urgent as everything they wanted to say and was left unspoken for now.

Two blue eyes shone under the sun inside her mind, a smile - she had loved - she knew, for ever. She wanted him. The man within the daffodils he had made sprung inside her heart.

My love

Christian's words were lost within her hair, smelling of jasmine, slid down the slope of her slender neck. They stood on her collarbones. And back inside her mouth. Goodbyes and hope flavours, fire on the fingers, their skin, their loins. Their past burning brightly in each one's minds. Loves that flourished but were cut suddenly, they both had shared. Each caress and each sigh brought them closer. He brought her hips on him, his hands feeling the flesh of her buttocks under her dress. She let her head fall back. Holding Christian's shirt, she was pulling him over her as she lay on the table. He untied her feathered capelet. Threw it on the floor.

Be happy Candy

T.G.

His name was left unspoken but Terry had invaded her soul and mind. Her perception of reality had been distorted so, every kiss and caress she was receiving, it was as if they came from him. The more her imagination became her reality, the hungrier she became for Christian's touch. All the months with her in his life was playing in his mind. He had loved Audrey once with everything he had. But the young woman who was melting under his fingers, his kisses, she hadn't been like any other woman in his life, certainly not Audrey. So pure was her heart, and broken. He had made it his mission to fix her. But he had to admit defeat. That son of a bitch still held her heart within his hands.

Damned Grandchester

Terry took a deep breath in. He had just flicked to the air the cigarette he was smoking. He watched the curved trajectory of its lit tip. A star made of burning ash, disappearing in the darkness. The night was sweet, unlike how he was inside. He put his hands over his face, dragged them over it and shoved them inside his hair, pushing it back. He stayed after Candy left him there, trying to calm down. After all he had said, after their kiss. Her trembling like a leaf in his arms. She had confessed she had feelings for him. That much she had revealed. And when he asked her to choose, she stumbled. She couldn't... He nailed his gaze to the views of the garden, looking at nowhere in particular, going through her moves, her words, her expressions. She cared for Christian too...

What the fuck Candy?

Did she mean he had to share her with that creep? He loved her, God only knows how bloody much - himself sometimes fell sort of words when he tried to express what he felt because the words sounded so poor when they came out, they weren't even close to the reality of his feelings for her. But he had to draw the line. His line. He wasn't prepared, he wouldn't share her with anyone, absolutely none. There was nothing more he could do. The ball was in her court. And right now he had been so angry with her, he could take that ball and make her eat it.

It was her right of course.

Still...he paced up and down. So angry. Having the nerve to ask him to wait till she came back from their holidays? He grumbled. He hadn't realised his hands had retracted into fists so tight, the knuckles had turned white. He had to go back to that bloody party. Archie and Marion would have been wondering where he was. He had to return before Marion showed up. He wasn't in a mood for a "romantic" one-to-one with her right now.

Could someone turn crazy with love?

He remembered their discussion at the play interval of the Hamlet premiere. It felt like it was eons ago. Their fight over that kiss. She pushed him and pushed him again. Decided to go back in. Would excuse himself to both Archie and Marion, go to his hotel. The Angels and Demons party had ended for him. He had to leave before he'd turn into a demon himself.

He came in the house. Back in the corridor that led to the front of the house. There were a few people, here and there, everyone doing their own thing, having a good time. He walked with his hands inside his pockets. Wondering where would she be?

Dancing?

Perhaps Christian has shown up?

Thoughts raced in his mind. Terrence Grandchester had been toyed by fate more than once. That particular moment to which each step he took, it was bringing him nearer to it, could be considered one of fate's cruel games.

Perhaps it was the door that was left partially open...

The glimpse of the blonde hair...

Her body leaning backwards...

A sigh...

Someone leaning over her...

A fraction of a movement, his eye caught sideways just by passing by. He could have chosen to keep on walking. He could have chosen to ignore what was happening inside that room. But, like a hook, his attention got caught and he was reeled in towards the gap of the door left open. Alarm bells ringing.

Leave

He ignored them to his detriment.

Christian had leaned above her. Her left breast exposed. Her hard nipple rubbing against his right palm while their lips tasted with insatiable hunger each other, his left hand cradling the back of her head, inches away from the surface of the table. Her fingers laced through the curls of his hair at his neck.

"You drive me crazy." He said to her.

"Don't stop..." She said out of breath when he left her lips. She groaned, arched her back when her nipple was found between his teeth.

Only a small gap at the door and it was enough...for the view he had to turn him to stone, to a statue with eyes that took in everything they saw. Turning darker by the second like a moon's eclipse, each pull, move, sigh, rub, graze, kiss, grunt stealing his breath away. He desired her like a sick man his health. Just minutes ago, it was his lips on her mouth, it was his hands on her body, it was her confession about her feelings for him. Had she been so shallow, so superficial to be able to switch like that. Had Christian's presence been so fucking strong that she could forget about him. Turn into clay under his hands, forget all decency, all decorum, crash everything he remembered of her. Behave like a trollop. He trembled, trembled while standing still, he could feel the waves of rage and jealousy, the bile coming up his throat, burning him. Wanting to fucking puke his guts out. Wanting to kill them both, right there on the spot. His body ached.

He tried and tried and tried to move away and he finally did. An attempt he could characterise as herculean. Sweat run down his temples, his eyes burned, they were bloodshot. Tears swam at their edges. Full of furious hate. He took a few steps. Shut his eyes and pressed his hands to the wall next to the open door. Took a few breaths.

"Hey, are you ok, mate?"

He heard someone asking him. He must had looked like he was about to have a stroke. Or kill someone. Certainly either one, or both. He nodded.

"I'm fine..."

"Are you sure?"

He straightened his body. He shot a murderous look to the poor unsuspecting man.

"I said I'm fine! What don't you fucking understand?!" He said, the words pushed with great effort through his teeth.

The man looked at Terry with a terrified expression on his face.

"I'm sorry mister, I don't want to intrude."

Terry said no more. He walked away but he felt dead inside. Dead like the silence of the ocean on that New Year eve. And just as abandoned. He wished he had never had laid eyes on her that night. Arrived at the ball room. Archie and Marion, they looked as if they were living on a different planet.

"Is everything ok?" Archie asked him, the moment he saw him. Inside he became frightened. The look on his friend's face was that of a storm on the North Sea. Those ones that were able to swallow entire merchant ships and make them disappear from the face of the earth in only a few minutes. He had a really bad feeling about this.

"Fine." Terry kept repeating the same word like an automaton. The exuberance of Marion right now, made him want to scream. She glowed with dancing sweat.

"Where have you been darling?" She yelled at him to be heard above the music. She hugged his waist. He took a sharp breath in.

"Terry you sure you're alright?" Archie asked again. "You're sweating and you look like you saw a ghost."

"Your cousin is with Christian, if you're looking for her." He said and cleared his throat. He pushed a wave of nausea down. Grabbed Marion's hand. She looked at him puzzled.

"We're going." He said back to her. It sounded like an order more than anything else. An order he wasn't expecting an answer. "Didn't you want us to stay alone?" He added but again, every word that left his mouth was angry. Like the piece of cloth sipped in petrol before it's put inside the bottle, waiting to be lit and thrown towards the enemy.

Archie run behind him. "Wait, will I see you tomorrow?"

"Go back to fucking Paris, Cornwell. There is nothing more to do here."

He squeezed Marion's hand so much, she complained. He didn't wait for Archie's reply. With wide strides and Marion trying to follow him, they both left Audrey's mansion.

Terry's car accelerated on the quiet roads of London. The tyres screeched on the tarmac with every turn. He was driving like possessed. He hadn't said a word. His face was like a mask. Not a muscle moving. Not glancing sideways. Only on the road. Still it felt as if he was driving blind. Flashes of Candy with Christian over her like lightning brightened the darkness in his mind.

Marion looked at him. She worried with how he was - definitely she hadn't seen him that serious - but even more. He didn't seem all together there. He had dragged her from the party of the year all of a sudden as if he was bitten by a wasp. She gazed at his profile. His foot hit the brakes hard. The tyres screamed. She fell forward and only her quick reaction of putting her hand on the dashboard, stopped her colliding with it.

"Fucking idiot!" Terry shouted. A car had jumped on front of his, coming from the road on Terry's left. He grunted. He was the idiot. A very big one.

TERRY GRAHAM - IDIOT OF THE YEAR

He gritted his teeth. Shoved the gear to first.

"You're ok?" She heard him asking her. He hadn't turned to see her. His voice had deepened, swam inside the black waters of his mind.

"I'm fine Terry..." She said softly. "Where are we going?" She asked.

"My hotel."

"Oh?"

He sensed her surprise, the hesitation in it. Such was his state, Terry was like the wick on a stick of dynamite right at that moment, everything that was said, especially coming from a woman - Marion in this case - pushed him inch by inch closer to the edge.

Wasn't her who had besieged him? Who had pestered him? Kissed him by her own volition? Was salivating every time he showered her with attention? What the fuck does she want now?

"Look love, it's not like I'm dragging you there." He said, gripping the wheel. "Do yo want us to be alone, yes or no? Easy question. I can turn and drop you home if you like."

His brows had descended towards his eyes like black clouds over stormy waters.

"You're angry..."

"What are you - a psychologist now?" He asked her. Put his hand on the inside pocket of his suit. Took his cigarette case out. Flicked it open. Bit the end of a cigarette and pulled it out with his teeth.

You're making me crazy...

Don't stop...

He pulled his lighter. Waited for a moment for the trembling of his hand to recede. He blinked a couple of times, chasing her image away. God, he could punch a hole to the dashboard.

Keep it cool

He lit his cigarette. Took a deep drag. Blew the smoke out.

"I thought I had made it clear I don't like those parties." He added.

Took one more drag. He could feel his heart breaking. The bright lights of the Claridge's hotel came to view. He pressed the pedal down.

Neither Christian nor Candy had been aware of Terry having being witness of their making out. It was Christian who pulled up first. Silver flames danced inside his eyes. If they stayed longer there, they would make love right there on the table. He turned his head towards the door, realising he hadn't closed it all the way. He straightened his body.

She opened her eyes. Didn't want to get out of the dream. She stopped on her naked breast. Felt her cheeks burning. Pulled her dress back, to cover it. Christian smiled. Her sudden realisation and the shyness on her face made him want her more. He gave her his hand and pulled her up.

"Shall we go home?" He whispered to her.

She grabbed his shoulder and let her forehead rest on it. She nodded. The dream had ended. Had left it lying still on the table. Sadness started rolling inside her like summer fog over the slopes of the hills in London. He lifted her off the table and let her stand on her feet. She swayed for a moment, feeling unstable. Grabbed her waist.

"Ok to walk?" His gaze tender, keeping a hold of her.

"Yes, I'm fine." She said. He gave her his hand and she took it. They both left the library room. They didn't say anything to each other as they walked through groups of people, most of them quite intoxicated. The night was marching on, regardless of what everyone was doing. Unbeknown to either Candy and Christian, both had their eyes peeled in case they met the person of their interests. Audrey was nowhere to be seen. Christian wondered whether she just locked herself in her room, alone with her drugs stash and the bottles of champagne. He repeated to himself that she shouldn't be his concern. In fact he had turned angry with her, having seen the state of Rose. He wondered about Terry. He must have not approved either. Surely he too would have asked where Christian was. It was very un-gentleman like for him to leave her like that. Had he known... Why did Rose though succumbed to the cocaine lure and the champagne haze, he really was a question that merited an answer. And then again, something was telling him, he didn't want to know the answer.

She looked around, the hope and fear of seeing Terry in equal measures inside her. He too, however, was nowhere. Neither was Marion. But they stumbled to Archie. He was on his way out when they saw him. He didn't look impressed. In fact his stare on Candy, when he addressed her, was somewhat between troubled and disapproving. He didn't even bother acknowledging Christian. The masks had fallen already. She knew that. She hadn't the will to become angry. The fog of sadness intensified. Christian on the other hand, didn't let his eyes off Archie. She from her part perhaps wasn't able to become angry - given her emotional exhaustion - but Christian looked sufficiently angry for the both of them. The fact that Archie had labelled him from the start as the man who had degraded his cousin's purity, a bloody libertine who was only interested in taking sexual advantage of innocent women... When Rose made it clear that this wasn't the case with him, what did her beloved cousin did? Hired a detective! Sure, Terry hadn't revealed his name to Christian, but he had said We. That was enough for Christian to guess who was the other half of that We...

"Where's Marion?" He heard her asking Archie.

She doesn't want to mention him in front of me...

Terry had become a sensitive subject between them. Just before he kissed her, she had mentioned about them having "the talk". He stood there, eyes on her. Unsure whether he wanted to bring the moment they talked faster or delay it as much as possible. They had the night in front of them. After that, he was not so sure.

"Marion left with Terry." Archie told his cousin without any trace of teasing her. The fog of sadness sunk deep into her bones. So he had left after all.

"I'm going too Rose." Archie added before she reacted regarding Terry's whereabouts.

"Back to Paris?" She asked him.

"Sunday perhaps." He said. For the first time, he saw the glimpse of that sadness inside her eyes. He broke into a smile, trying to lighten the situation. "Don't worry, I won't go without saying goodbye." He kissed her on the cheeks and left them there.

She felt Christian squeezing her hand. Not wanting to bump into Audrey, he turned to her. "Shall we go too?" She nodded in agreement.

They walked towards the entrance. Couldn't believe how a few hours ago, Audrey had pushed her out her room, ordering her to "go get her man". How elated she felt. How excited.

"Where have you been by the way Christian?" She turned and asked him all of a sudden, as she played the events of the whole night in her mind.

"I'll tell you when we reach home Rose." He turned to her. He pressed his lips. "It's a long story."

They hailed a taxi and soon after they were on the road to Christian's apartment.

Terry and Marion came inside the lobby of the Claridge's Hotel. It was quiet due to the late of the hour. They were the only guests there and just the concierge behind the reception desk. Terry walked towards the man straight away. The concierge greeted Terry and gave a discreet glance to Marion. It wasn't at all common for a guest to bring someone with them - especially of the opposite sex - at that late hour but it wasn't as if it hadn't happened before. The staff in such prestigious hotels had all been sworn to secrecy.

"Good evening." Terry had replied, knowing well what went on inside the concierge's mind. "Can you please bring to my room a bottle of your best whiskey?" He asked him.

"Certainly, sir!" The man replied.

Terry didn't stay further for any more niceties. He showed Marion the way towards the elevator and they left. His room was at the top floor. Inside the lift, it was the two of them. It was too late in the night for a lift man. Terry fixed his stare to Marion. It wasn't sweet and neither romantic. It had something primal in it, predatory. He cornered her the same way the tiger corners its prey.

"Terry..." She whispered.

"Too late, Marion." He said, his voice deep, rough. His kiss was hard, possessive, punishing. Grabbed her hair at the back of her neck while he pressed her hips on his body with the other. The initial resistance he sensed was washed away like sand castles hit by ocean waves. Her arms were around his waist, holding for dear life. He pushed his tongue in her mouth, sucking her breath, bruising her lips. He pulled back, looking completely lost. The sound of the lift bell having reached the floor was heard.

"Wasn't this what you wanted all along?" He asked her, anger shimmering inside his words.

He took her hand and walked to his door. Unlocked and came in. Switched on the lights. Marion dry swallowed. She wasn't used to such attitude. The men who had courted her till now were the finest specimens of English idiosyncrasy. Refined, well mannered, jolly good lads who would shower her with compliments. She never felt threatened, always being in charge of the dating game. She knew Terry was different but that particular night, he had grabbed the carpet and had pulled it off under her feet with such force he had left her dangling with no ground below her. And he seemed he enjoyed it.

She took a few steps in. Looked around their luxurious surroundings. She was reluctant. Didn't feel relaxed. Her stomach was making back flips inside her and her heart was pounding on her throat.

"Sit" He ordered her and she almost jumped.

He pushed the curtains of the windows back, revealing the lights of the London skyline in all their glory. Bathed under the full moon, it was mesmerising. He stood there looking at the view. Marion observed him. Once again he had left her alone, his mind travelling elsewhere, she had no idea where.

They both turned towards the door when they heard a knock. It was the hotel boy with the bottle of whiskey. Terry took it in, tipped the guy and closed the door behind him. Eager to wet his throat, he took two glasses. Poured a drink for him. A drink for her. She denied it when he gave her the glass.

"You look tense, take it." He said again. At that time, Marion thought that this man could make even reading the phone book to sound menacing. She took the glass without bringing any more objections. He gulped his in one go. Poured another. Gulped it. Flames inside his eyes, they glistened. Poured a third.

"Terry, isn't that enough?" She asked him.

He shot her with a hard look. For a moment she thought he was to kick her out. The two quick in succession shots had started working their magic on Terry's body and mind. Numbness started spreading. If he could crack open his head to remove from his mind what he saw earlier, he would have done it gladly. But it was impossible to erase them with such a brutal way, no matter how much he wished for it. Hence the drink. He intended to drown in it. Have whiskey run inside his veins, inside the twists and turns of his mind, the folds of his heart. If he was lucky he would pass out and make friends with darkness he so sought at that moment.

He sat on the couch, with the third shot in hand. She had sat on the second couch opposite where he was, taking sips from her drink.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk." He hit his tongue at the back of his teeth, mocking her. "Finish the damn thing and come, sit here." He said and slapped the seat next to him.

She looked at him with eyes wide open. "I won't say things twice." He raised his brow and dragged his words. "Unless, you prefer me spanking you."

His statement found her with the glass on her lips, taking a gulp and was so unprepared, she chocked and started coughing hard. Her eyes sparkled with alcohol tears. He didn't laugh though. He waited for her. She stood up and walked to him. Sat next to him. He would have spanked her if she hadn't, she was certain by now.

"Terry if something is bothering you, honestly, perhaps it'll be better if you share it. I won't judge."

He looked at her, as if he was looking at an alien being. Her words was doing exactly the opposite from what she had hoped they would. They fanned the anger which hadn't left but was slowly simmering below the surface. He started laughing hard. His stare hardening.

"You know what, love? You spend too much time at those bloody Samaritans."

She was taken aback. Brought her brows together, creasing her forehead.

"I'm not your fucking charity case, Marion." He said once the laughing died down. An ominous light shone inside the storm of his gaze. "I'm in need of something else right now and you will give it to me." He said. His finger traced her chin, while he examined her face. There was no warmth in his expression.

Fear started dawning inside her. Up till now, she worried. That worry was changing all the while up till that particular moment she saw and she understood. There was vengeance in his eyes. She had to leave.

Christian arrived with Candy to his apartment. She hadn't been there for a while. Since that day of tidying it up with his cleaning lady. She looked around. Nothing had changed. But for her, the messed up space in Christian's home felt welcome. Everything had changed but here, it was as if time had stood still. Although in a closer inspection, the mess was worse. The furniture had been moved in a haphazard way, as if this room had been subjected to a brawl or something. Pieces of glass had been dispersed on the floor nearer the kitchen.

She turned and looked at Christian. His expression turned serious.

"I'm sorry." He apologised. But didn't explain further. She had realised that she had been so absorbed in her own bubble, consumed by Terry and her feelings for him, she had lost completely sight of what was happening with Christian. She remembered Terry's revelations about him. She had chosen to close her ears to them. Tonight wasn't the time to discuss them however. Perhaps with the new daylight, they could start building on the ruins...

The "talk"

She remembered she asked him about that. Having heard from Archie that Terry had left with Marion, what sort of talk could she have with Christian? In any case, she had to tell him. Even if Terry had turned his back on her, it wouldn't be fair to Christian. She was in love with Terry and she had to come clean.

He took her hand, seeing her being so thoughtful. "Let's go to the bedroom. It's much better." He tried to break a smile.

He switched on the side table lights. Took off his jacket. She stood watching him getting undressed. He stopped. Looked at her and realised she would have wanted to take her clothes off. He opened his wardrobe and took the silk robe, the one he had given her to wear when he to paint her. She stared at it. Their love making came to her mind. How he had asked her to let go, and just feel the moment. Tears sprung inside her eyes. The Grantchester Meadows stirred. He rushed and grabbed her shoulders, hushing her. He turned her to him.

"Hey, hey..."

More and more tears were making a steady stream down her cheeks. All that sadness that had sunk inside her.

"Please don't cry..."

He held her in his arms, his heart beating strong next to hers. "I know what you want to say, Rose." She looked at him. "Although your name isn't that, for me, you'll always be Rose."

He sat down on the bed and motioned her to join him. She followed him. He pushed her hair behind her ears. Held her face between his hands. "I love you but I cannot keep you when you love another."

Her breath left her nostrils, hot. Her eyes had turned red. Her chin trembled. Her sight became blurred. He was making it easy for her. Instead of letting her say everything she tried to say, he was saying them for her. "As much as it pains me to say it, I have to learn to be ok with this."

She burst into sobs. Fell on his chest. "Please Rose, let's keep this night for us..." He urged her to stop crying. The way things had turned out, he may had confessed a lot, but what he kept for himself was the one thing that would have frightened her down to her core. After that night, he would try to sort out Raven. Put him to rest in peace. To do that, he had to give up on her. Protect her. But not as his girlfriend. He should have stood firm on his conviction at the hospital. But he had let her talk him out of it. Now there was no other way...

Terry grabbed Marion's chin. Kept her stare captive inside his. He scared her. He bit his lip, raising his brow, toying her like the cat toys with the mouse before pouncing on it. His thumb rubbed her lips. Pushed them open. She was aroused and frightened at the same time. He stroked her tongue, sending shivers to her spine.

"You won't rub my thigh now, babe?" He mocked her.

She shut her eyes. She wanted to go and still she stayed glued to her seat. She longed for Terry to make love to her. God know how many nights she had fantasised about it. Had she been asked to describe how she thought it would happen, not in a million times she would have picked this scene that was playing right now. She wanted this with every fragment of her body and heart but not like this. She didn't know what had changed inside him or why or who had been the reason for such an abrupt change in his attitude.

"How about if I do it?" She heard his voice. He replaced his thumb with his tongue, kissing her hard. She smelled the alcohol in his breath. His hand parted her legs, having pulled her skirt up. Rubbed all the way up her thigh, reaching her underwear. A voice screamed inside her.

She grabbed his hand. Stopped him going further. She kept her thighs glued shut. Tears squeezed at the corners or her eyes.

"I want to leave Terry." She asked him with a tone in her voice which didn't leave any room for discussion. "Right NOW!" She shouted. Tears were rolling down her face.

He seemed unfazed. But he didn't put up any argument. He got up and walked towards the phone.

"Can you please call for a taxi for Miss Lewis?" He asked the reception.

He thanked the man on the other end of the line.

"Your taxi is on its way... if you want to wait downstairs." He said without an ounce of remorse in his voice.

"This is what you get for playing with things you shouldn't be playing with." He added and opened the door for her.

"I hate you!" She hissed through her teeth and left.

He closed the door behind her. Walked to the table, picked up the bottle of whiskey, switched off the lights. There in the darkness, lying on the couch, the morning light would find him drunk out of his mind, in a day where nothing had remained the same.