Oh my God! I get to see RENT, the play next month and I am ecstatic! It will be the first time I see the play, and I am so excited! Now I can be an even bigger Renthead. Even though it is obviously not with the original cast, just seeing it will be amazing. Awww Anthony Rapp…such a big cutie. I just want to hug him, and I want to lunge at Adam. Adam is definitely a major hottie. Okay, enough of my rambling. Next chapter!

Disclaimer: I know, you probably figured this, but it's Jonathan Larson's…

--------------------

Mark's POV

I can tell Roger still loves Mimi. But when he's looking into my eyes, wrapping his body warmly around mine, I really don't give a shit. Sneaking behind her back is killing him slowly, as if it were AIDS. I see the hurt in his eyes every time she knocks on the door and we are lying in bed together. When she barges in while we are slipping each other kisses on the couch.

She's been clean for a little while now, withdrawal still thriving against her. So, I doubt she would remember if she walked in on us. But guilt stabs me every time Roger and I are together.

The group is slowly splitting. Angel is in the hospital, Maureen and Joanne refuse to speak, Mimi is unable to talk to anyone, and Roger and I are tucked away in our own little world. My mind denies the fact that Angel is so sick. Losing her would tear the insides out of me. Then the group would implode. Angel is our center, the thing holding us together, no matter how weak the attachments are.

The bedsprings jut into the flesh of my side as we lie, tired as hell on Roger's bed. You think eleven hours of sleep would have rendered us able to get up, but as usual, we are useless. The tips of Roger's fingers glide along the inside of my palm, and I feel his breath, hot on the top of my head.

"Wanna get up?" He mumbles, finally clasping our hands together and laying them on his chest.

"Not particularly." My eyes close again, barely able to stay open in the first place.

"Good. I wouldn't have let you anyways." His grip around my waist is tighter, pulling me directly against his stomach. I can hear it rumble, but try to ignore it. It will make me think of our lack of food.

"What time is it?" I ask after a long silence.

"What makes you think I know?"

"I don't know. I was just making conversation."

"Then ask me about my guitar." I smile, proud of my musician. My musician. The thought makes me smirk and fear at the same time. I don't like having this much to lose.

"How are things with your guitar?" I mock, and he lets his arms fall from around my body onto the mattress around him.

"I don't really have an answer for that. Good, I suppose. Still don't have material to write about. Other than…" I sit up when I hear him stop, and graze his jaw with my index finger.

"What?" His eyes have avoided me until now, but they are filled with truth and sorrow.

"Well…you." Smiling is not enough at this point. I'm so filled with joy that I could jump circles around anyone.

"Rog…"

"No, you can't hear them." He stops me before I begin my point, but he was right on track. He knows me too damn well.

"What? Why not?" Our mouths touch lightly, and I feel only the tip of his tongue make contact with my lips before pulling away.

"Because…they are too…I'm embarrassed." He looks so sweet when he is shy. His cheeks turn bright red, and I kiss him playfully on the forehead before positioning myself comfortably back in his arms.

"What are we doing?" I feel his muscles tense against my skin, but the question had to be asked.

"What do you mean?" There is shakiness to his voice, something of a combination of fear and anxiety.

"I'm scared. Scared of anyone finding us together." His hug becomes loose, and I can tell he wants to get away from me.

"Then why are we together? If you are…"

"Did I say that I don't want to be with you? All I said is that I'm scared."

"Why?"

"Because of this sneaky shit. I'm sick of having to hide you. Hiding the fact that I want to hold your hand in front of everyone, and kiss you when I realize how much I love you." I feel his eyes beating on my face, but I can't look at him. I'm embarrassed, if he doesn't feel the same way it will kill me.

"I don't want to hide either. But Mimi will be destroyed if she knew…"

"Then why are we doing this? You're just going to end up hurting her in the end." My hand comes to his face, ready to wipe away any tears that may appear.

"I know…but…I can't…" He looks down at the bed, pinching the white sheets between his index and middle fingers. "…not be with you." His green eyes sparkle in the brightness of the sun, and I completely agree with him. Even though it means hurting Mimi, I can't give him up.'

"We're just going around in circles. You have to pick one of us." He shoots me a look of pure anger and hate. Making him choose is a horrible thing for me to do, I don't know why that came out of my mouth.

"What? I can't pick, you know that."

"I'm sorry. I know."

"But I do love you." He smiles to give me some reassurance, and I take it with a little hesitance. To tell the truth I don't know what I would do if I were in his situation.

"I love you too." He kisses my chin then leans his face against mine. I want to hold these moments into my mind forever. I know they won't last long.

We fall asleep again, but this time only for a short time. I wake up exhausted, but decide food will probably help. I get up slowly, trying my best not to disturb the still unconscious Roger. My eyes burn as I walk out into the cold living room, very different from the temperature of the gap between Roger's arms. I rub my hands together to gain heat, and open the cupboards to find nothing but air and cobwebs.

"Uch…shit." I sigh, and look around for any sign of something edible in the kitchen. At last I spot a box of Cap'n Crunch on the table and claim it as fast as I can. It feels fairly full. Maybe Roger made a trip to the store without telling me.

"What's that? Cereal?" The groggy voice comes from the bedroom door in the form of a shivering, yawning Roger.

"Yea. You didn't buy it?" He reaches for it, stealing it from my grip before I can allow myself to let go.

"Nope. Maybe it was left over from the last trip to the store."

"And it jumped to the table overnight?" His eyes roll and he opens the box to begin eating. However my hand makes it there first, and I'm able to snag a few pieces. All he can do is scoff, and wait for a gap to fit his hand in.

"God, I'm so fucking tired."

"Me too." We sit at the table, Roger lifting up his feet to rest on the table in front of my face. My mouth is chocked full of as much cereal as I can fit, but I attempt to make conversation. "Maybe we foud go vifit…" I finally swallow and finish my sentence. "Angel."

"Mmmm…yea, maybe. Mimi will want me to today anyways." I can tell he doesn't want to see Angel, but thinks he should go. He has never handled death the same as any of us. It eats away at him, but instead of talking about it, he keeps it all in his head. I never know what Roger's thinking.

"Think you should check on Mimi?"

"What time are visiting hours?" He ignores my question and I decide to let it go. Mimi isn't really my favorite topic.

"Umm…I'm not really sure. I'll call Collins later. Maybe we should just go tomorrow and…hang out here today."

"Sure." His hand creeps over to my thigh underneath the table, and I'm quick to hold it. At least I can do it with no one around. I almost wish that everyone were here to see us holding hands. I want everyone to know I'm his. I'm a little too proud. "We need some more blankets in here. I don't understand how it can be colder in our place than outside."

"Me neither." I scoot my chair to snuggle up to his body, even though it is probably freezing. But Roger always seems warm to me.

"You wanna go back to the bed? It's warm." He's practically luring me into bed with him, but I have to give in. Who wouldn't?

"Yes." His eyebrow raises, and he flashes me a smile while walking back to the bedroom. The bed bounces him up and down when he jumps on it, followed by me, and I'm back in his arms in mere seconds. Something clicks, but I try to ignore it. Our loft is so creaky; it's hard for anything to register as important noises.

"Should we fall asleep or talk?"

"Are those our only choices?" I look up to see him giggling, before placing a soft kiss on the bottom of his chin.

"Well…no but…" He returns the peck with a real kiss, against my chapped lips. Roger's lips always seem to be moist and sweet, no matter how cold and dry it is. He is an amazing kisser, letting his tongue do all the work inside of my mouth. Then I realize I am probably shitty at it in his opinion. Most of the time I just lie back and enjoy. So, this time I will try to take control, letting him relax for now.

He groans when I force his tongue from my cheek, pressing mine into his mouth. I lift myself out of his arms, pushing him to lie down on the bed, on top of the feathery pillow he slept on. My hands work as leverage to keep from squashing him underneath my weight, even though he says I don't weigh much.

Lips, hands, chests, stomach, skin, everything touching and sliding and rubbing at once. I'm caught up in the moment, I don't even notice when Roger takes control of the kiss again. I figure I should let him, since he's better at is anyway. I feel his light hair brushing against my forehead, tickling my eyelids.

"Roger, Mark? Where the h…" Collins comes through the door, a grocery bag in his hand and a shocked look on his face. Shit. Roger and I lunge away from each other at once, as if that is going to make a difference now. He has already seen us. The part of me that wanted someone to see us is surprisingly upset right now.

"Shit, Collins…" Roger whispers, barely inaudible for me let alone Collins.

"Guys, what…you guys…I…" Then he does something that strikes me to my very core. He laughs. Chuckles, giggles, scoffs and cackling all comes from his mouth, and for one second I believe he has gone insane. I sit on the bed, frozen, while Roger watches in confusion from the other side of the bed. While we wait for Collins to say something, Roger slides over to me, leaning his back against mine.

"Collins?" I say softly, seeing if I can get him to calm down.

"Yea?" He's still laughing, but now it has repressed.

"Why are you…what…do you think?" He stares at me with a huge smile spread across his lips.

"I think…that Angel was right. I never thought she was serious. You two…" Roger backs away from me, anger taking over his face.

"Angel? Angel knows, Mark?" His eyes stare me down, and I feel backed into a corner.

"Well…yea. She knew when we weren't together for that little time. She kinda just guessed it, I wasn't hidden enough I s'posse."

"Oh." He looks down, the anger gone and replaced with melancholy.

"We've been friends for so long, you two only decided now you want to be…" Collins stops, hoping we will finish for him.

"Guess so. But Mimi…" Roger looks up for guidance; I know he has always confided in Collins to help him through problems.

"Oh. Mimi. Well, maybe she will understand. Are you guys just fooling around or is it…" He uses his hands to explain, and Roger looks into my eyes to find an answer. Collins has asked what we don't know ourselves. What are we? I open my mouth slowly, preparing an answer quickly, when I hear Roger stutter.

"Well, we…I mean…I love him." I feel his hand on my shoulder, and see Collins face turn red.

"Guys don't make me blush." Roger smiles, but not in his usual way. This smile is proud and gentle, almost embarrassed. I have never seen him so vulnerable other than during withdrawal.

"Shut up." I snap, almost out of awkwardness. It's weird to be this way with Roger in front of someone else. Although it is what I wanted. "How is Angel?" I decide to change the subject, not just to get off Roger and me, but because I really care about Angel.

"All right. She has been sleeping most of the day, and she said I should go out and get some air and some food. I decided to drop by to give you guys some cereal."

"Oh, thanks man." Roger praises, his mouth foaming from hunger. He's still hungry after devouring that whole box of Cap'n Crunch. He leans his head against my shoulder and lays his hand on my leg. I turn my head and kiss him, pretending not to notice Collins watching us intently.

"I love you." I whisper in his mouth so Collins can't hear, and I see a smile curve onto Roger's lips.

"Why don't I leave you two alone?" Collins senses we want to be alone, and does something about it. "I should probably get back to Angel anyway."

"Should we come visit tomorrow? Or tonight?" Roger asks, placing a hand on my neck to make sure I know he wants to continue the kiss when he's done talking.

"Tomorrow would be fine if you want. She needs some time alone tonight I think." All of our moods drop, knowing that these are Angel's last days. I don't want to think about it so much, my mind blocks it out. The emotion won't hit until she's…gone.

"We will be there. Just call when you want us to come." I add, trying to make my contribution to the conversation.

"All right. I guess I'll see you guys tomorrow. Have a…good time." He laughs, before slowly making his way out the door.

There is a long silence before Roger finally decides to break it.

"Well…now Collins knows."

"Yea. But what about Mimi?" I hear him sigh and look over to see tears beginning to stream down his face.

"I don't know Mark. I love both of you." I take him into my arms, kissing the top of his head and rocking him softly.

"I'm sorry. You don't have to choose. If this is too much then…"

"Mark stop fucking trying to break up with me. You're stuck with this bumbling, crying pansy." He makes me laugh at the weirdest moments. That's why I love him so much.

Notes: I feel like I'm just making chapters into useless nothingness but yea…don't have much to say. Next chapter will hopefully come faster than this one, but I'm not making any promises.