Well, thanks for the awesome views guys! You're all so great! Especially thanks to kelseylynn00, for the mention in your story. By the way, all of you guys should read her story But It Felt So Good, because it's great. I'm actually reading it even though it's not a guaranteed Brucas! Lol! Anyway, your sort of shout out totally made my day, so I thought I'd try to return the favor lol…

Note: Brooke will NOT get pregnant by Lucas in this story! Lol one of my friends was reading this and that's the question they asked me, so I thought I'd clear it up for you. Although, maybe the question shouldn't have been so specific…

Disclaimer: I own a pair of strappy sandals that have been dyed perfectly to match my dress for a formal dance that I went to this Friday, but since this story is about One Tree Hill and not the dance, I've got nothing. Though I guess I also own the blisters that the shoes gave me…

At the Heart of It All

Chapter Thirteen

The Truth Can Be A Brutal Business

"Broody?" Brooke questioned into the silence of the small room, reaching for a boy that wasn't there. She just had to wonder why she kept waking up alone. Propping herself up on her elbows, leaving small indents in the soft cotton of Luke's bed, she tried to recall the events that lead to this. The right side of the bed, the one that he usually occupied, remained completely unwrinkled, reinforcing Brooke's previous suspicion that she had been very alone that night. There was no note, so she knew that he hadn't just left for the River Court, because he always left a note. She used to tease him about it and take the words written in his messy, shaky writing on plain white paper completely for granted. She never realized that she'd miss them.

Stretching languidly, she felt a bizarre soreness in the center of her lower back. Reaching to rub it, the events of last night came back to her all too clearly…

She'd reached up to meet his lips half-way, adrenaline coursing through her veins. Never had she so eagerly anticipated contact. Their mouths grazed each other in a feather-light kiss, before Brooke felt him pull away slightly. This simply wouldn't do, she thought to herself as she grabbed him, wrapping her arms around him, kissing him harder. This time he hesitated for only a second before opening his mouth and plunging his tongue into hers with a ferocity she hadn't foreseen. They kissed with an intensity that seemed to come from everywhere and no where at all. His fingers danced cross the bare skin of her back, hers across his neck and down his chest. Brooke could feel something inside of her building, and knew that this should no longer be a public event.

"Luke…" she started, breaking away. His fingertips traveled, shooting sparks straight to her spine. "Luke! Not here…" she began, fighting to get the words out in-between collisions of his lips and hers. He said nothing, but her fingers entwined in his hair told her that he nodded. Moving his hands to her waist, he started to back up again. The next part was a whirlwind, and somehow they ended up stumbling down the path to his bedroom door, fumbling to make contact. Apparently kissing her was too distracting to focus on opening the door, so Lucas merely pushed her against it and continued. 'Ouch!' she had tried to say as her back had hit the doorknob, but the words were swallowed before they'd made a sound. Somehow, Brooke managed to get the door open and sent them tumbling inside.

He traced a line of kisses down her jaw, moving his head to avoid her lips, teasing her. Pulling away briefly, he pulled her top over her head as she went to work on his belt buckle, his shirt a thing of the past. Her lips found his again as his hand easily unclasped her bra.

"Wait Luke…" she said as he moved his lips to her neck. She felt tingly, and feint, and strange, and she had no idea what to do with this feeling. Her first instinct was to run with it, but she opened her eyes to see a picture of her and Lucas at his eighth birthday party sitting on his nightstand. Casting an affectionate gaze at the youngsters with chocolate dripping down their faces, then an equally affectionate gaze at the teenager kissing her, she knew then that she had to stop. Lucas was not in love with her, stop told herself repetitively. This is just going to ruin everything and… oh God…

"Hum?" he asked, his voice a deep vibration along the sensitive skin of her neck.

"We shouldn't do this," she said, her voice unsteady, trying to convince both him and herself.

"It's not like we haven't before…" he trailed off, fingering the top of her underwear.

"That was different!"

"How so?" he asked, trailing kisses along her jaw line. She could feel her resolve weakening, but looking at the picture, she knew that she couldn't give up the friendship without a fight. 'He's not in love with me… he's not in love with me…'

"Experimentation! This is different Luke, because you're still in love with An—" Broke attempted to cut herself off, realizing her huge mistake, by pulling his head down to her and kissing him deeply. However, he barely responded and when she pulled away, he had a stony look on his face. His eyes looked as if they were chipped out of ice. She could feel him withdrawing, recoiling, even though he hadn't moved an inch. And so they stayed for the next minute, him hovering above her, both half-naked, "best friends for life" when one wanted so much more. Finally, he did retreat, his facial expressions closed off to the girl who could always read him so well. He grabbed a pair of pajama pants and slid them off, studiously ignoring the quivering brunette lying on his bed, the white sheet clutched to her chest and tears pooling in her green eyes.

He exited quietly, shutting the door behind him, but Brooke could hear the closet door open. She could visualize him pulling out a pillow and blanket and heading out to the couch. She wanted nothing more than for him to be laying next to her though, as the tears that formed in her eyes slid silently down her cheek, unnoticed by all.

"He's not in love with me!" she had whispered in anguish to the empty room that had never felt colder. It gave her no response.

"He's not in love with me…" Brooke said out loud, lying back on the pillows, trying to convince herself that she had made the right choice. Except, now she wasn't so sure…

The thing she had wanted more than anything for weeks (aside from revenge on Felix of course, but that could take as long as she wanted), she had just turned down. And alienated her best friend, the guy who agreed to pretend to date her just so that she could stop hurting, and the one who had always been there for her… the one that she wanted it with. She had wanted to save their friendship, but with her current perspective, she had probably ruined it anyway. Anna had always been a sore spot, a gaping wound in his life… and she had just dumped salt in it. She knew that he didn't care about not getting sex from her. Lucas just wasn't like that. But she had really hit him where it hurt, and nothing would change that. At least, not for the time being. So for right now, she'd go into the shower, use up all the hot water and pretend she hadn't cried herself to sleep last night.

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The mirror was completely fogged over and the air was humid. The only sounds in the room were that of running water and the humming of a head cheerleader as she rinsed conditioner out of her hair.

"You're taking forever, Brooke!" the bathroom door swung open with a loud thump as it hit the wall behind it. His voice sounded irritated, and her face registered disbelief.

"Um, Luke… you do realize that you have a transparent shower curtain…" she began awkwardly, trailing off and turning so that he wouldn't get as much of an eyeful.

"Yeah," he said, his eyes quickly skimming her body but his face remained impassive. Brooke was more than slightly unnerved by this change she had only seen a few times in her life. "But you know what I don't have? Hot water if you continue to take fifteen hour showers. So kindly hurry the hell up!"

Brooke stood shocked long after the door had snapped closed, fighting a losing battle, trying to keep the showerhead as the only waterworks in the bathroom. Finally conceding defeat, she turned to scrub off a new set of tears.

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"It was different. Jack loved Rose, not that random Swedish girl from steerage!" Brooke sobbed, watching the love scene in the Renault carriage in Titanic, and completely ignoring the bewildered stares Haley was shooting her. Haley blinked. What was up with Brooke today?

"Tigger… um… you know…ah… are you okay?"

"Huh? Yeah, just fine…" Brooke mumbled in response, looking away.

"Right. And I failed Algebra. C'mon Brookie, you know that you can tell me what's up!"

Brooke wasn't sure whether it was Haley's voice, confident in their friendship, or her warm, concerned brown eyes, but she somehow found herself compelled to tell her everything. It would be so nice to have somebody to confide in, someone that she could trust with everything. It would be so nice to just confess. And so she did.

Fifteen minutes later, Brooke found herself out of breath and sobbing hysterically onto a shocked Haley's shoulder. Instead of the girl's usual words of wisdom, she found herself shocked speechless, and when she finally spoke, it was these words. "Huh. Imagine that."

"What?" Brooke snapped, wiping her eyes.

"It's just… it seemed so obvious that you guys were like, in love. Like L-O-V-E-mad crushed out. And now you told me that you weren't even really together, and that you might not even be friends anymore. It's a lot to take in."

"Tell me about it."

"You know that you're going to have to talk to him eventually."

"Eventually."

"Why not sooner than later?"

"Because rejection hurts," Brooke said, a few more tears slipping down her cheek as she laid down on the plush red sofa to watch the end of the epic about a doomed cruise ship and wondering if her own relationships were bound to be just as fatal.

Er... like it? Hate it? Let me know! Next chapter will have more of Luke's POV, but I just really wanted to get out what's going on in Brooke's head first. I'm totally about to crash from the party tonight, and so I'm not going to update again tonight, but maybe tomorrow...? It's up to you guys!

Thanks for reading!

xo Sam