Chapter 68
The sound of the door slammed shut hit him with an intensity that made his body jolt.
It took him a few wide strides to reach the closed door. Grasped both sides of the door frame, felt the wood absorbing the strength of his grip. Leaned his forehead on the door; the muscles of his jaw twitched when his mouth tensed in an attempt to hold his anger within. He shot the air through his nostrils.
"You're crazy, woman." He shouted through the door.
He stayed there for a few more seconds, and then straightened his body and walked away without waiting further for her response. Without moving his suitcase from where she had dropped it, he left.
All Candy heard was his footsteps getting further away. The front door opening and closing.
Silence...
More than anything else, an angry silence had filled the space between them and around them; it was a storm without a sound, and everything that otherwise was to be said, kept pilling up behind the walls both Candy and Terry had raised in order to avoid each other, avoid each other at all costs.
On that Wednesday afternoon, having the door slammed on his face, Terry left the cottage with his anger holding just by a thread. He didn't want to let that thread snap, that is why he left. He could have broken that door and grab her, and...
Like a reel from a moving picture, the frames of him entering the room played in his mind. He watched the words he'd say, the moves he'd make;
how his heart could had taken over like a master making him move, making him a puppet under its command, and she would fill completely his field of view until leaving nothing else but her, in front of his hungry eyes;
and every time, however many times, he played that same reel, it ended the same way with the bubbles of his anger turning to steam, so hot, it would burn them both the moment he'd touch her, kiss her, hold her.
He growled. He hated Rose, how he made him feel, pushed him to extremes; He lusted after her, wanted to conquer her, wipe out any other man that existed in her life for those ten years apart, make her say his name again and again, till it became so familiar on her lips as her breath was; and yet he missed Candy, the girl he knew, the one he saw only briefly and felt beside him on their cabin bed just the night before. He almost grieved for having lost her from the moment he set his foot inside that cursed Gallery. Like Hamlet, he felt he was descending to madness. He had to accept the time had moved on for the both of them. He wasn't the Terry she had left on the hospital steps and she wasn't Candy any more. In that month since the Gallery opening, he realised on his quest to get closer to Candy, he was falling in love with her from the beginning, he was falling in love with Rose.
His steps wide and hurried, stubbed out the burning wick of his anger, as he walked towards the main village of Castlebay and port of the isle. Each breath he took, the Atlantic breeze swept his face, ruffled his hair. He felt the tension dissipating into the air like the dust of the narrow country road while he closed the distance to the village.
When he returned, it was almost dusk.
Instead of finding refuge inside the pub where he would let on other occasions, his thoughts to be soaked into ample alcohol, he had sat at a bench by the Castlebay port. He wasn't a guy who acted on impulse, but as he sat there, watching the sailing boats, white sails billowing between the azure sky and the deep blue sea, looked like flying birds of the sea, he got up, rushed towards the seamen that stood by the marina and asked if there was any of those small sailing boats available for quick sail around the bay.
To his outmost delight, there was.
Dreamer wasn't anything fancy or big, it was just a simple 12-foot dinghy boat, with two sails and enough space for two people. The moment he set his foot on board the Dreamer, the smile came back on his face. He hadn't sailed since he was a teenager.
Alone in the sea with his mind full of her and his hand on the tiller, he steered the boat towards the open sea. Felt the strength of the ocean, its resistance on the rudder. Had the rope twisted around his other arm and held it with a tight grip, riding the waves, with the aid of the wind on the sails which he masterfully commanded. He was at his best when he was in control.
So many variables were in his life which he hadn't been able to control from his early years. He hadn't a say over his parents when they split up. He also hadn't a say over his mother when she decided to stay in the States. He was bitter for so long that she hadn't fought for him, having chosen the theatre over her son, a family. Although he had been angrier with his father who chose the Establishment, rather than his happiness. Candy and the theatre had been the only two things in his life he felt comfortable to dream about, because he - more and more - felt like nothing could go wrong. Nothing could happen if he wasn't going to screw it up. And he wasn't going to screw it up. So far, so good. Then Susanna happened. One more variable which had thrown his life once more out of control.
The situation in London, as he had come to face it, was perhaps the first time in his life, he actually had to accept, everything was out of control. Nothing he could have done, could guarantee him that his decision to show up in Candy's life again after ten years was the correct one. That he wasn't to be hurt in the end.
He knew he was falling in love with Rose. The woman that Candy had become. Yes, she was infuriating, but she was also fearless. She wasn't hiding behind pretences. Passionate, damn sexy without even trying to be, it was this complete lack of self awareness which was so enchanting.
She had embraced living in the now in such a complete way, she reminded to him of his younger self, he had let disappear after ten years of being the carer of Susanna who had relied on him completely, having disposed her life at his hands at all times - this responsibility had made him cage himself within a life much older for his young age.
He was now there with Candy, at a loss on how to proceed. The more he tried to come closer to her, the more she pushed him back and right now, he really had not much more will to go on.
If Candy was worried about him, she didn't say a thing. She had heated the food their hospitable landlady had left for them. She had served already. The table had been set, and his plate had been waiting for him.
He came in, looking weathered with his skin glowing and his hair ruffled up. She could smell the ocean on him. The way his eyes shone. He also looked surprised when he saw the food on the table.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know-" He turned and said to her.
"I have already eaten." She cut him before he completed his apology. Got up, walked under his stare that followed her towards the kitchen and put the kettle on the stove.
It was evident to him, she was disappointed he had disappeared for so long. She had dined alone. But she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction to ask him where he'd been and what he had been up to.
"What do you want from me, Candy?" He asked, standing behind her while she waited for the water to boil to make some tea. She didn't speak.
Did she know what she wanted from Terry? It was difficult to say, under the present circumstances.
"I know I wasn't who you planned to be here with..." He added.
His statement felt like a hand reached inside her and squeezed her heart tight.
"You fly off the handle from the moment we arrived, shut me out, yet last night on the train..." He took the opportunity to say all he had in mind, because he risked of exploding.
"And now, I arrive and you look all..."
The kettle whistled. She took it off the stove and stopped.
"All, what?" She asked him without turning to see him.
She didn't want him to see her eyes gleaming with the moisture gathering inside them.
"All annoyed I wasn't here."
Little did he know, annoyance was what she was able to hide behind. When she burned for him and yet she knew damn well, she shouldn't let him get close.
She poured all her wants and desires
- the same way she poured the tea inside the tea cup -
inside a temper that to him looked crazy, but that's how she had decided to keep him away for the time they had to spent there.
"You are exaggerating, Terry." She said and turned to see him.
"I am annoyed but it's not what you think. From the moment we stepped down from that train, you took control of everything. How we arrived here, how we were introduced..."
"Forgive me Miss Rose, for trying to keep your honour intact when that lover boy of yours paraded you naked all through London."
Her eyes widened. She was feeling angry, the way he brought Christian inside their conversation.
"You really have to bring Christian between us, every time we quarrel! Terry you never change!" She put the full tea cup on the table. "If you want to know,
It was I!
I wanted the Scarlet Rose to be shown in the Gallery.
Not Christian!
Unlike you Terry, I changed. You wanted me to be happy and that's what I did! So stop accusing me for moving on, for God's sake!"
He didn't say anything in response to her outburst. If he did, the fight they had started would turn even worse. He was actually surprised by her confession about the Scarlet Rose. Was her need to show how far she had come from her simple life at Pony's home, the change from wholesome, country girl to high society party girl, that intense?
"I'm tired. Going to bed." She said after she took his silence as her cue to leave, not wanting to wait further for a response from him. Took her cup of tea and went to the bedroom.
On Thursday early in the morning, while Terry had been in the bathroom, she shouted to him, from the other side of the closed door, that she was going out. Before he had time to come out to ask her of what had she planned to do, she was already gone. Had left him, having taken the bike from the shed and hadn't appeared back to the cottage till well after noon,
- in high spirits, having also smoked a spliff on her own, while sunbathing on an empty beach -
and yes, she had brought a tiny bit of stash with her; she used to smoke a spliff every now and then when she felt stressed! That's what she had told him in the most unabashed way.
That hadn't left Terry much impressed. He had been practically fuming. She had retaliated saying that it was ok for him to disappear but for her, the little defenceless girlie, she had to give a detailed report of where she's plan to go and for how long?
And what does it matter to you, what do I smoke?
To which he had responded of having been so amazed by the level of her stupidity.
Do what the hell you want, see if I care!
The whole argument descended into name calling and why not?
I could return to London!
Good riddance!
He had shouted to her before doors slammed once more. She hadn't left the cottage since.
Early on Friday morning, Mrs. Burns visited them - punctual to her word of returning in three days' time - and stocked the cottage with fresh supplies. Even if the couple was polite and talkative with her, there was little interaction between them.
After that eventful first day at the island, the energy they spent to avoid each other, to address each other with a tone in their voice void of any warm feeling
- in fact the opposite -
the weather was unusually warm for this part of Scotland; Mrs Burns failed to remember any summer hotter than those few days, so much so, she could swear she was boiling hot; but inside the cottage was turning into Siberia with them two. For a moment she wished to stay there a little longer just to enjoy the chilled air. If the Graham couple were newlyweds, she wondered how they'd be several years into the marriage; perhaps they'd start a war.
The war of the Roses
By the looks of it, given that they seemed to silently fight over where the roses she brought to them, would go. The wife, Rose,had put the roses in a vase under the threatening glare of her husband and very ceremoniously placed the vase centre stage on the table.
She LOVEDroses apparently.
Her husband didn't seem so, because he took them and put them on the floor, by the fireplace.
And I'm ALLERGIC to roses.
To which statement, Mrs. Burns, Sarah, looked terrified -
Mr. Graham, I can assure you, I had no idea! I'm so sorry! Please -
She tried to take the flowers but Mrs. Graham had none of it.
Nonsense Mrs. Burns! Sarah! Terry exaggerates as always. The roses are lovely and we thank you for them.
If tension was an apple pie, the poor woman could cut each of them a generous piece to eat but she decided to leave her culinary interpretations of the situation behind and leave them be. By the looks on their faces, she had just about enough time to be on her way home before they came to blows.
So she left them for the day. And before Mrs. Burns risks to be accused for negligence in the possibility of either of the couple murdering their other half, no. The tension she felt may appeared to on the surface of the murderous kind, but underneath it all, the advice she would give them would have been to tell them that the bed was big enough for the both of them...
*
*
*
It was already past noon. The day was shaping up of being the warmest day of the year. The sun was casting its light on a sky that wasn't blemished even by a suspicion of a cloud to interrupt the never ending deep blue above them. The horizon line between the sky and the sea appeared hazy, shimmering almost as it filtered through the warm air.
The vase of roses had remained on the table in the end. Terry in his white vest and dark grey linen trousers was sitting quiet, with the newspaper spread in front of him, while he was still sipping coffee which had turned cold for quite some time now inside the cup.
Candy gazed outside the window. Everything was calm, wonderful, inviting. The sea sparkled by the reflection of the sunlight on its smooth silk-like surface. She sighed, wishing she had brought a swimsuit with her. After their quite vocal disagreement over the decision of where to put the roses that Mrs. Burns had brought with her and the subsequent "win" of Candy's choice, she was receiving the silent treatment fro him.
Terry had decided to pay no attention to her and she was starting to feel restless.
In the end, she decided she had enough. She got up and went to her room. Few minutes later, she came out with a book and towel in hand. She was dressed in a pair of navy coloured high waisted shorts and a white string vest. Just before she went out, she turned and looked at Terry.
"I'm going out." She said to him in a mocking voice, reporting to him of her intention.
"A-ha." Terry said back to her, without taking his eyes from the newspaper.
"I'll be on the beach sunbathing."
"You do that Candy." He replied once again, still not paying her any attention.
She stood there for a couple more seconds looking at him. He was really grating on her nerves. This was the same man who made such a big fuss on Thursday when she disappeared with her bike; the man who had asked her explicitly to tell him every time, where she would go from thereafter, so that he could be aware of her whereabouts at all times. She had felt like a prisoner.
And maybe I could take off and drown in the sea later on.
Candy's silent words echoed in her mind, but she didn't dare to start one more round of shouting to each other.
She turned and walked towards the door. As she closed it behind her, he lifted his head her way. Sighed; Pushed his hair back with his fingers, while he turned his stare at the vase with the roses. Deep red, scarlet roses, as if Mrs. Burns was in on the game of keeping his temper one degree below boiling point.
He got up and walked to the window, dug his hands into his pockets. His gaze rested on her as she walked towards the beach. He was at loss of how to approach her. Every time he would say something, she would twist his words. Making him sound as if he criticised her for who she was and how she lived her life. She kept pushing him away. Did everything in her power to act like a spoiled brat. Rose to the tenth degree. Pressed his lips into a line of frustration.
His eyes travelled to the dark blue expanse of quiet water that spread in front of him. It was a very warm day by the British standards. Warm enough even to have a swim but also bad enough that he didn't have a bathing suit with him. He could at least swim in his thick cotton underwear shorts. No one was around for miles and Candy was lying down, sunbathing, reading her book. He got undressed down to only his shorts, while he laid his clothes in a neat heap on his small bed that was in the main room of the house. He picked up a large bathroom towel and went out of the door. He reached Candy and sat down next to her, while he kept his eyes on the sea.
"How's the book?", he asked her, trying to break up a conversation with her.
"Why do you care?", Candy asked him with a dryness in her voice.
His jaw tensed; he pulled his brows together.
"Can we please have a civil conversation Candy?" He asked her, still not having eye contact with each other.
She wasn't talking either.
"Look, I apologise for my behaviour, OK?" He said and placed the palm of his hand on his chest.
She turned her head to her right, shadowing her stare to him by holding her book between her face and the sun.
"You keep judging me Terry... I know you are here because Christian asked you to, but can you act a little less than a prison guard?", she asked him sounding stern.
Terry didn't respond. He only was feeling the frustration of clashing with Candy rising within him again.
"And you keep pushing me away, Candy. Anything I say, you turn it against me." He said back to her.
He turned his eyes back to the sea. Words pushed to get out. They had been crowding inside his heart and there was no space left than for them to get out. "I'm supposed to look out for you, whether you like it or not because Christian dig a hole for himself and you fell into it too. You want to be defensive about it, so be it.
You want to yell, scream, make me look like the bad guy here, whatever you want.
When we leave this place, we can go our own ways, Candy.
But as long as we are here, you are my responsibility.
We can try to enjoy those two weeks or not. It's up to you." He concluded.
He didn't wait for her to respond. Didn't even turn to see the shadows of remorse inside her green eyes. He took a deep breath and got up, leaving the towel next to her.
"I'm going for a swim", he just said.
She hid her face behind the book, not giving him a reaction to what he had said. Pretending to read when all the lines started to swim in from her. Letters became blurry. She was fighting a battle it was predestined to lose it. Closed her eyes, trying to contain the fresh tears. Under the heat of the sun and her emotional turmoil, she had started sweating. She decided to get up. Drenched in sweat, turned her back to Terry and started walking towards their cottage. Before she opened the door, she heard the splashing sound behind her as Terry dove in the crystal blue waters.
Once inside the house she felt its coolness welcoming. She could definitely do with a swim, the way her clothes clung on her damp hot skin.
What had Terry said, was as sincere and clear as the sky above them. She had to agree. He didn't deserve the attitude from her. She knew this perfectly well, even if it hurt her to act that way. Could she loosen up for a few days? Perhaps try to keep a little more civil. As if he was a friendly acquaintance? Work a little bit harder to not make it as difficult for the both of them? Terry had made it clear. He was willing to work with her, try to enjoy the time there.
She went into her room again. After a few seconds roaming through the contents of her suitcase, she found a pair of black French knicker cotton shorts and a black string camisole that looked decent if not a little risqué for swimming. She decided that they would do, she could always tell him to turn the other way, when she would get out the sea. She wore them and went back to the beach, determined this time to keep her tongue in check.
Her toes touched the water that was licking the beach with its lazy rhythm. It did feel cool but really refreshing at the same time. Terry was swimming in the distance. He kept his stare on Candy concealed by keeping on swimming while she walked slowly deeper into the sea. Something inside him became lighter. It was a good sign in his books that she had indeed decided to join him. Putting their talking aside and her snipe remarks, he was desperate for some relief, to come closer as they had the night on the train. Even if it was temporary, even if it was as friends.
She started swimming towards him. At the same time, she felt all that heaviness she harboured those three days dissolving with every stroke she took as she was getting closer to Terry. Her heart banged against her chest with excitement. She had to admit that the swim was a great idea after all.
"Nice?" He asked her with a big smile on his face when she came to talking distance from him.
"Yes, it actually is, Terry!" She exclaimed and laughed.
He took a deep breath when he heard her laughter. He hadn't heard her laughing for quite some time.
Now we are getting somewhere,
He thought to himself. His eyes turned really honest when he told her once again how sorry he was for his misbehaviour those few days.
"I know you are Terry." She replied to his apology with a soft voice.
She moved next to him, catching her breath at the same time from flipping her legs inside the water.
"Not that you shouldn't be punished though!" The words left her lips in quick succession before she lifted herself up and without warning she put her hands on his shoulders, pressed them down and pushed Terry underwater.
She let him come back up to the surface. He heard her mischievous laughter. He shook his head to clear his face from the mop of wet hair, splashing water all around him. He pushed his fingers through the hair, combing them back. His tyrquoise stare sparkled under his wet eyelashes.
"Is that so...?" He asked with a voice that had deepened in a playful threat and moved closer to her.
"Ohhh, no, no... don't even think about it, Terry!" She cried and started swimming quickly away from him.
She didn't go very far before he caught up with her. He repaid her with the same move as she did to him before. Her yells turned silent when she was submerged under water by his push. She got back up, with her hair having turned into wet blond ringlets, all tangled in a mess, covering her face. Terry's loud laughter ripped through the air.
"You... you..." She tried to find words to scold him with. "Brute!" She yelled and scooped the water in front of her, splashed it all on Terry's face, before she tilted her head back into the water to remove of the hair that had fell on her face.
Her emerald eyes mirrored the brightness of the sun when her stare fell back on him. He was still smiling and so did she.
"Now, now, Miss Freckles... as I recall you did the same to me just a moment ago." He answered back to her scolding.
She chuckled.
"Do I see two sets of standards here?" He added.
"You're supposed to be a gentleman Terry." She said back to him.
"And you... the weak, innocent woman, the one you didn't want to be?" He asked while he arched his brows, teasing her.
"Oh! Sometimes I am that innocent, weak woman though!" She replied with a loud voice.
He burst into a new laughter and pulled her hand, brought her in front of him. His eyes dived into her moist, clear green gaze; he kept it still for a brief moment, as he searched into it.
"Now, how can I not see that...?" He commented. He bit his lip while acting as if he was thinking.
Candy stood there and for a split of a second she forgot everything. The bitter fighting, the secrets, Christian, London. A decade had passed since her breakup to Terry and there they were. Together with her Terry, at the edge of the world, swimming and playing with each other, as if nothing bad had happened between them.
Her Terry...?!
He wasn't her Terry anymore...
The waves of time had erased that quality of his. In some moments however, just like the one they were sharing there, she felt an irresistible pull, a need to gravitate around his presence, even without actually thinking it. It was useless to deny it. She was still madly, deeply in love with him. With Christian... she loved him also but that love had nothing to do with the one she felt for Terry. With Christian, she was in a constant high, that sweet drunk haze of sipping champagne, a life of no rules, a life that was for the day, born with the sunrise and dying with sunset. She could see eventually being perhaps bored, fed up with such life.
On the contrary, with Terry... He had surprised her so much since he had arrived in London. The maturity he had gained. She had never felt safer than when she was with him. And then underneath that carefully controlled surface, everything was in flux behind the calm, a live volcano of feelings... the highs and lows he could create by his actions towards her, reminded her of a huge seesaw, pushing her up and pulling her down in a never ending movement. Only with Terry her feelings had taken such intensity and power, making her heart feel bright like the sun, or dark like the darkest hour of a moonless night. She wondered what life could be next to him. A life with her as his woman.
"Perhaps, you haven't looked close enough Terry." She replied in a quiet voice, their eyes locked into each other's still.
He didn't say anything back. His eyes had stopped on that freckled scattered face of hers. Water droplets trickled down her temples, her red like apples, sun-drenched cheeks. Her lips, scarlet and wet, looked so inviting for him to kiss them. Her voice came as a thankful interruption to his thoughts.
"Terry, you are right. I want us to try enjoy the time here." She said with hesitation in her voice.
"I am glad to hear you say that, Freckles." He replied while consciously he tried to quench the strong physical attraction he felt right at that moment for her.
Apart from those stolen kisses during that month he was in London, and the unfortunate night at her home, he really hadn't tried to get closer to Candy in a physical way, although he craved that very much. The thought of another man being privileged to have that sort of connection with her pained him like nothing else.
However gentleman he tried to be with her, his urges as a man were growing stronger for that woman. She had stolen everything, lock stock and barrel that was him. His mind, soul and body, he could give them all to her. Put them at her feet. Right now, every cell of his was yarning to feel her close to him, her skin on his, to scatter her body with a thousand kisses. He realised that the thoughts which were creeping fast in his mind were making other things to stir on him.
"For the time being, let's play Candy." He said right after, turning the mood back to a cheerful, carefree one.
They swam for quite a bit, splashing each other. He would dive and pull her down by grabbing her legs and she would try to ride his back, pushing him down. For a little while, their frustration translated into water games where they'd touch each other. They bumped one another, while their laughter accompanied the soft sound of the waves and the cries of the seabirds flying above the rocks nearby.
Terry was first to swim back to the shore. He went out, flipped the big towel open, and threw it over his wet body. The water was trailing down his legs and feet while his heart was as weightless as a feather. He cherished this feeling for it was the first time he felt like that next to her since he had shown back in her life. He was looking at her, getting out of the water. The camisole and knickers were like wrinkled second skin on her, leaving not much covered. Shivers travelled up and down his body. He wondered whether it was the chill of getting out of the sea or her image, semi naked as she emerged out of the still clear ocean waters that was driving his senses to an agonising overdrive.
She came close to him. Her feet were leaving their wet marks on the dry white sand. She was trembling by the cool summer breeze that was blowing around them. He responded and opened his arms, offering her warm shelter inside his towel covered embrace. She didn't say anything. She had stopped thinking or analysing what her behaviour should be. Instead she accepted his offer in silence, relishing all the good feelings their truce had brought. His arms closed around her, she came into contact with his chest. She turned her eyes up to look into his.
"Thank you." She managed to say. Still within his arms, she turned her back to him. They both faced the open sea.
"That was really nice." He said quietly, as if he was talking to himself.
Her hair was sticking on his chest. They were dripping water down to his groin. Her whole body radiated warmth.
"It was." She agreed to his comment and pulled the towel tighter in front of her so to completely close both of them inside.
Terry couldn't describe how he felt that moment, he failed to find the words. He could count on the fingers of one hand the moments they were so close before. He could sense his desire for her growing, at the same time as he was trying to find ways to fool his mind by thinking something else. Maybe they could cook something to eat, he thought and her name left his lips as he prepared to ask her of doing that.
"Candy."
She heard him say her name, turned and stared at him. She was finding it difficult to talk. Let alone, extract herself from within his arms. This being the first time where she was actually relishing their contact, feeling relaxed, if not for her heart that was fluttering like mad inside her chest. Yes, she and Terry had a complicated past and even a more complicated present. She loved him.
"Yes, Terry." She asked him.
He couldn't help himself any longer. The way he felt her body on his, the closeness between them in every sense of the word, not just the physical side. Everything conspired in pulling down every barrier they had imposed between them in an attempt to stay clear of each other, in case they did something they would regret later.
Both looked at each other as if trying to ask for confirmation in their minds that it was ok to feel and act on the temptation. He lowered his head and his lips touched hers in a very hesitant kiss, before he pulled his face up a bit; looked inside her eyes again without talking.
Would it be possible to forget those eyes of his looking down on hers like he did right then? She wondered.
Her mind was screaming against what they were just about to do and yet she was left with no power to resist any longer. The quiet, shy touch of her lips by his lit a flame in her soul which could consume her with ease if she was to give in. Without thinking any further, she passed her arms around Terry's waist.
It was a simple gesture from her part which had said everything Terry needed to know. After a couple of seconds of keeping her inside his arms, his lips took hers once again, this time into a ferocious kiss. One that had waited to materialise for years. All the pain and passion, the yarning, the what ifs of endless nights he thought of her fed this kiss that meant to show her what the time away from her meant for him.
It hit Candy in an instance; his lips covered hers, sucked her breath the moment his tongue was roaming in her mouth, she could feel everything Terry was trying to show her. He pushed his hands underneath her wet camisole, cupped her breasts, rubbed, squeezed her wet hard nipples while tears of release were running down her closed eyes. Her hands travelled up his back, on his neck. She pressed her hips on his, clutching between her fingers the wet hair that fell on the nape of his neck.
Urgency and desperation fed their caresses and movements, the feelings which had been stopped and kept dormant behind that mental dam the night they left each other on those hospital stairs, a night blinded by a snowstorm that had brought a permanent winter in their lives for so long.
Their breaths were short and quick, when they weren't kissing but feeling each other. Their desire reached fever pitch. Terry ripped her thin camisole and let it fall on their feet together with the towel that was covering them. He took her nipples in his mouth, sucked one and then the other, felt them between his teeth, his tongue savoured the sweet and salty taste of them until he heard Candy's moans swimming in his ears which made him lose every bit of his mind.
He wanted to scream, feeling the flash flood of feelings he had let out of his heart. They really had to talk, and in a peculiar way he felt like he was actually talking to her right there and then. All his damned life, everything bad that had happened was propelling him in a sexual but at the same time extremely emotional trajectory with the speed of light. He heard her saying his name over and over again, his eyes filled with tears to the emotion that was palpable in her voice.
Their eyes glazed, while they reached a point of a frenzied desire. Candy's hands were inside his shorts; he felt them on his buttocks, grabbing him while his hard on was pressing on her crotch. The fire was impossible to stop, was engulfing them both. There was no control in Terry's actions any longer. He picked her in his arms, while she kept hers locked around his neck. They continued kissing as he was carrying her towards their cabin.
They reached the door but he couldn't go any further. They had descended into madness. He left her down on her feet. In a moment of quietness within the storm they felt inside, he pushed her hair away from her face. They looked at each other with a love lost stare. His heart was thumbing against his chest.
"God...I want you Freckles... I never stopped wanting you." He said before he covered her lips into a furious kiss. Kept her glued against the wall the moment he torn the flimsy cotton material of her knickers. He pulled her up on the air and her legs wrapped around his hips. He held her up the wall with one arm; released his stiff cock with the other, and plunged it inside her wet core with force.
She left a desperate cry and held onto him with all the strength that remained in her. Nothing had prepared her to what she was experiencing at that moment, fulfilling her fantasies of Terry making love to her. To fill her completely, to be so close to his soul to the point that they were one. Their hard groans were loud, their naked bodies glistened under the bright sun. No more control or inhibitions; they were both travelling with speed to a vortex of suppressed desire that was sucking them both, clinking to each other as if not to lose themselves. Their minds emptied completely when they were reaching the peak of their violent reunion. His movements inside her were fast, strong, he was pushing her up, her back rubbing against the wall. She was reaching her orgasm, she grasped at his back with her hands hard, so much so that the tips of her fingers had turned white.
"You never left me Terry." He heard her whispering to his ear with her last breath before her hard moans were leaving her urgent and fast.
He groaned and buried his face on her neck. Tears flowed down her eyes. He came inside her, feeling the spasms of his cock, her contractions around it, and his knees trembled when the moment of his orgasm hit him, overtaking his senses like a powerful wave that came right from inside the ocean.
He didn't know whether they had made matters better or worse by what they had let to happen between them but it had and now they were to deal with it. He took a step back, to find his breath, while he remained still inside her. With Candy clinging like a baby between his arms, he walked into the cottage. She had her face hidden in the groove of his neck smelling of the sea. She decided not to give in to thought at that moment. She chose to just feel. It was a desperate and painful lovemaking, sudden and unplanned but had softened their hearts nevertheless and in all sincerity, Candy didn't want for this feeling to end, the way they were right then.
Terry went to the bedroom. With much tenderness, he kneeled and let Candy lay back on to it. He took a bed sheet and flung it open, covering her naked body. He took his damp shorts off and got under the covers to be with her. She had her back on him and he pushed his hand under her waist to bring her close to him. He kissed her shoulder.
I know you may not want to hear this Candy...but...I love you...
He heard his voice inside his head.
He wished he could say that aloud for her, to hear it out in the open. Instead, he brought her closer to him, smelling the salt on her hair, letting his hand to rest on her belly.
Her breathing was calm but her heart squeezed by his move. Candy didn't know whether to feel elated or nervous. She chose not to say anything. For they would talk for all they could before that day was over. Right now, the whole day up till then had drained them in all respects. Sleep, sweet and welcoming turned their eyelids heavy bringing to them all kinds of dreams the first time they slept together just like a couple would, even if only it remained to the point as a desire in Terry's mind.