Chapter 70

Saturday 18th of July 1925

Every difficult decision taken during one's lifetime, carries

- every time -

a particular taste in the mouth.

Close your eyes. Recall such a decision, taken at some point in life. Do you agree?

Bitter and sweet.

Bitter like bitter almonds. That's what breaking up with the past tastes like. Hopes, dreams, memories, all archived and closed neatly within corners of one's heart. Moments of reminiscing weigh heavy, and the body tenses and aches even, till a deep breath taken can bring the mind to the surface of the present.

Christian had become restless, anxious for everything to finish. And the bitter taste that stayed in his mouth, he hadn't liked it. Reminded him of what he was leaving behind. He missed Rose. He missed everything about her. When he was by her side and everything felt possible. Last he had seen her, she was entering that train with Terry following behind her. It was only Saturday but it could well have been a whole life time away now. Wednesday evening really felt so far away. He hadn't regretted it though. He had managed to send her as far away as possible, together with a man who would have given his life for her. He was certain of that. And she loved that man. The realisation was not an easy pill for Christian to swallow but when he admitted the truth which was evident even before Terry had appeared, he knew by letting her go, he had done the right thing.

Dawn had found him with his eyes open. When he could feel the warmth of the new day on his arms where the sunlight hit him, he got up. Washed from the waist up by the barrel of water kept outside the cabin. It was chilled enough to wake up every cell in his body. He craved some alone time, to let his mind rest, put his wits at ease. He got dressed and glanced inside the bedroom, long enough to make sure that Alice was sleeping, left a brief message on the kitchen table to let her know he hadn't disappeared and took off with his satchel passed over his shoulder. He carried it everywhere. He was never too far away from his drawing materials.

He walked for a little and stopped once he found a good enough spot close to the river bank, but not too close to make himself known that he was there. Not that he was expecting anyone, but under the circumstances he felt compelled to look over his shoulder at all times.

He hadn't decided yet, of the day the Raven would break in the Grandchester mansion. He had in front of him a little less than two weeks. Just about a week he had even, if he took into account the visit to the Duke's home he planned for Monday, under the pretence of looking into potential places for painting the lady of the house.

To do that, he'd have to check up with MacDonald. He had asked him also to find him a man to pose as the clerk from a jewellery shop, coming to clean the Grandchester jewels. He hoped he had come up with someone to fill the part. Truth be told, Christian was also curious to view those precious jewels too. Having already known a fair deal of them, the treasures the Duke had kept hidden had piqued his interest a long while ago.

With Rose in his life, he had decided to leave the Raven behind but... the Grandchester mansion, he would have been a liar if he denied he hadn't thought or wanted even to break in that place.

Richard Grandchester may have acted as a compassionate, understanding man when he visited him that afternoon, not long ago that was. In fact, the Duke didn't lack of acting skills - while Christian thought of Terry -his estranged son who didn't even carry his surname-

so many common things, same details in both their lives, his and Terry's...

And that emblem which time proved little; Christian had run out of time, he had none left to even contemplate what that handkerchief meant, the crowned swan. In the deep of the night however, the question had turned real and even more probable the answer seemed to be. For he had felt a bond between him and Terry,

at times

he couldn't explain in any other way. A bond between brothers.

Twenty-seven years had passed since. A very long time to consider whether Christian would follow through with his plan or change it because of a hunch... What if the Duke of Grandchester was his real father and Terry his brother...

He had been given away.

Regardless whether money had exchanged hands, the sordid details he had not cared about and thus, despite the questions and the possible answers, the bitter taste remained. The Duke had been responsible for laying off Philip Blake, his father. He had been in the Board of Directors while his father was fired from the chair of Chief Executive Officer of Martins Bank, just because he and Irene Blake had bought a baby. The Duke had been in part responsible for his father's demise. And he had been in Raven's sights for a rather long time.

A gust of wind rustled the leafy canopy of the oak trees above him and brought him back to where he was. He heard the splash of the water and lifted his head up while his stare travelled the direction towards the river. Its flow was calm, a lazy heartbeat, under the sparkling sunshine.

Alice...

She hadn't noticed him being there, watching her from a distance, under the shadows of the ancient oak trees. Instead she was swimming in the river close to their cabin. Her clothes neatly folded, left at the shore.

Christian hadn't realised how much time had passed. But there he was with his stare fixed on her, his mind crammed with thoughts, which despite the morning light, they had turned dark. Beams of sunlight danced on the forest floor. Her naked skin looking alabaster against the green waters.

His stained long fingers started drawing charcoal lines on a virgin page.

For Christian, the time had turned ripe. The decision he had taken wasn't an easy one. Not by any man's measure. He would go ahead with the plan and after that with a little bit of luck... start over.

Yes, the road chosen to travel, the journey which awaited ahead, despite the bitterness of the break, carried also a sweet flavour. That's what relief and peace tasted like, the anticipation of the new start.

A new life.

The morning found her inside his arms. He had opened his eyes and there she was. No, it was not a dream.

He didn't move. Instead he let himself feel their closeness. The softness of her relaxed body on his, the gentle rise of her breathing, pressing against his chest. The smell of their love making lingered on her skin; sweet and musky, carrying the ocean inside the pores of their naked bodies.

Since their confessions, they did nothing else but feed their hunger for physical contact, sensual and hot, glowing perspiring limbs and eyes lost, simmering stares and burning lips that explored every inch of her. He closed his eyes for an instance, brought the night before in his mind. He heard her sighs carried by the wind.

Words of love whispered with the setting sun.

An unstoppable attraction, a desire that showed no signs of dissipating any time soon. He kissed her neck just behind her ear. A soft, tender kiss that led to another and then

one more...

One more...

Traced the curve of her neck with his lips, her shoulder. Would he ever be able to have enough of her? His mind shut down to thoughts and memories while he let himself once more to be lost within her. The woman he had loved since...

by now, what it felt to him, it had been a lifetime away.

Her eye lashes fluttered while she was awakened by Terry. She filled her lungs with a long drawn deep breath. Thinking of the previous day made her heart beat faster. Having spent their first night as a couple shocked her

-yes it had happened-

the wild blushing on her face.

She couldn't describe what it felt like after they admitted they still loved each other. Can you describe what it feels like being inside a tornado? When you are in it. Mind shuts down, senses heightened, adrenaline rushing, everything turns into a blur and only certain things remain.

Glimpses,

flashes,

instances,

reminded her.

A kiss like no other,

the sound of "I love you" over and over,

the evening breeze grazing her nakedness,

the warmth of his breath, the strength of his body,

the complete union.

the taste of each other's mouths, lips on skin, the sea wetting their toes.

"Good morning." The sound of his voice sounded as thrilling as his kisses to her. She turned. Faced the sun inside the blue skies of his stare.

"Good morning..." She replied.

Passed her arms around Terry's chest, she hugged him. Let her forehead rest on his chest. The heat from his body warmed her face. Took another deep breath in, wanting the smell of his enter her soul. She bit her bottom lip and felt lightheaded. Had the previous day been real? Pressed her naked body on his, a move that surprised even herself

- letting go -

Candy had changed very much so since they were teenagers and yet, there were many instances with Terry, when she had found herself regressing to that shy adolescent; barely old enough to recognise how he made her feel. That intensity between them scared her back then.

His slender fingers were caressing the length of her spine. From the deep curve of her lower back, up to between her shoulder blades, her neck. Creating havoc inside her.

"Freckles..."

She turned her head up and faced him. He kept her eyes locked inside his for a moment, as if he was about to say something but instead his lips brushed hers. His kiss was slow, tender. She wondered what he could have wanted to say to her. To banish the worry, this deep rooted feeling that disaster was always looming at the horizon, whenever she thought of Terry and herself, would need a lot more time. Consciously she decided not to think or plan or analyse one bit from what was happening between them.

After all, there was something she very much wanted to say to him also, to put it out in the open but what was happening at that point in time, she had no heart to disturb. Instead she

- letting go -

She heard Christian in her head, whispering to her, just like he had done the day they had made love for the first time. The fine hair at the back of her neck stood up. There was so much she had to let go to be where she was at that moment in time. Yet, letting go, as with every other difficult decision had two sides and she once more, tried to push the precariousness of their situation at the back of her mind. She felt compelled once again to let go, if only temporarily of the secret that burned a hole inside her bag. She had to let it go. The alternative would have been for her to let go of Terry, the happiness they could live for a little while at least.

Terry was a grown man, of course. He hadn't been that angry teenager for quite some time. But then again, the secret which awaited to become known, that Christian had been the twin brother who had not died but lived, wasn't just some ordinary secret. He had been Terry's rival and her lover. There had been animosity between them, even if there had also been signs of both men working together, where her safety was concerned. Candy had no doubt. He would have been shaken very much by the revelation. And then there was the decision, the black box in this situation. Terry and Christian deserved to know about each other, to know one another as brothers and their parents also, to become aware of the existence of Christian. There would be time to tell Terry what she wanted to say. Their feelings were too strong now.

His kiss deepened, her body responded. He lifted his head up. His stare shimmered.

"If we don't get up now, I won't be held responsible for what-"

She stretched upwards as if she was to stand on her toes and with the same urge like wanting to pick that perfect apple that hang from the tree, she returned his kiss with another, stopping him halfway of completing what he was about to say. Wanting at the same time, to stop every single little thought inside her head -

"Let me, be responsible then..." Her voice came out hoarse, sounding almost like a purr, and let herself surrender to the simmering torture of his slow caresses, as she accommodated his body between her legs and felt his weight on her, his every move rubbing against her skin, making her lose her mind completely."

She swam in the cool morning water for a while, relishing the feeling of being alive. Even if she itched to return to the noise of the big city, she became also thankful for those few days spent within the quietness of the forest. Even if there was nothing quiet about nature she had come to realise, but by Saturday every sway of the trees, every rustling of the leaves, every chirp, squawk and tweet, had melted into the background. Under other circumstances, she would have loved this short break at the cabin. Away from everyone and everything... her old life, she was increasingly wary off. She was ready for a change.

Knowing however what Christian had in mind... knowing Charles also what he was capable of...

The shadow was getting bigger by the minutes which were ticking away, while the reckoning was approaching nearer and nearer. She was turning into a ball of nerves. She had woken up and the moment she saw Christian's message on the table, she gave it no second thought. If he had taken off for some thinking time, so could she walk to the river and take a morning swim. Given the previous experience, she had enjoyed her swim so much, she was eager to repeat the experience. It wasn't every day she was given the chance to swim completely naked, completely alone while her fears and anxieties were washed away as she dived in the crystal waters of the river.

Her mother always said to her not to overindulge on a good thing. Conscious of her muscles turning numb, she swam towards the river's bank. Had a look around but couldn't see anyone. With careful steps, she stood up and walked to dry ground, towards where she had left her clothes. The warmth of the sun made her wet skin tingle. Opened up a towel, she had picked up from the cabin and patted herself dry. Put her undergarments on and let herself fall back on the green grass with the sun sitting heavy on her closed eyelids. Took a deep breath and heard the sound of the air leaving her lungs. The effects of the morning swim made her limbs feel heavy and drowsy. She could stay there the whole day, if it wasn't for her empty stomach which had started telling her of its need for some sustenance. But for the time being... she let time pass by.

"You will burn yourself... "

A shadow eclipsed the bright sun she had let caress her skin. Opened her eyes, just enough. Christian stood over her. His eyes were serious, critical even. In his world, no sun was shining. Such was the stark difference between their surroundings, the blue summer sky and his grey, dark stare.

"Do I look like I care... ?" She replied and lifted herself up.

For a minute he seemed reluctant to stay, and then he took his satchel off his shoulder and dropped it on the ground before he sat down next to her.

He let a breath out. "No, but I do." Said without turning towards her. Let his gaze rest on the water, watched the reflections of the light moving by the current.

"Oh?!" She made her surprise audible and hugged her legs as she folded them on her chest, conscious of the flimsy material of her undergarments. "Really?" She added. She couldn't help but sound sarcastic even. Especially after this admission of his, when he explicitly had made his feelings known that nothing was happening between him and her.

"Yes, really." He said again. "What will Charles say if he sees you come back sunburned and unkempt?"

He turned and fixed his eyes on hers.

Was he mocking her? Did he actually mean it, in seriousness? She tried to read him but couldn't. Sweat prickled the roots of her hair, her arms tensed around her legs. She felt hot and it wasn't the sun but what he said that had this effect on her. Wanting to either give him a hard slap across his face or jump his bones, even as annoying it was for her to have him blow hot and cold every time he was with her.

"It is not of your concern what Charles will say when he sees me." She brushed him off, sounding a lot more cooler than the air around them.

He didn't say anything back. The urge to put a line over all his troubles was so great, he didn't wish to continue this conversation. Having drawn her just minutes before, while spending time alone with his thoughts had relaxed his mood. He laid back on the ground, closed his eyes. He let only his ears open, listening to nature around him, soft and peaceful.

[...]

"Anyways, I have my ways with him." He heard Alice adding to her previous statement.

"I'm sure you do..." He commented.

His voice quiet, as if he let the words out to be washed away alongside the river flow.

She lied down and turned her body towards his way. Stared at his profile. Pale white skin, long, dark eyelashes, straight nose, soft lips she longed to trace with the tips of her fingers. "If I didn't know you better, I'd say you sound a bit jealous, Chris." She whispered close to his ear. Her words touched his skin and made him break into goosebumps.

He opened his eyes and looked at the sky; not a trace of cloud to break the deep blue. He turned his body towards her; they faced each other. She pushed his buttons once again but now he was used to her games. He smiled, acting coy.

"Shame we won't stay here long enough for you to find out..." He responded to her teasing with an answer which sounded almost like a puzzle. He held her stare long enough, till he was satisfied his answer had the desired effect on Alice, because he saw the change inside her hazel eyes almost immediately.

Surprise,

Question.

He turned once again on his back. Shut his eyelids over his eyes and rested his arm over them. He could pretend the sky was too bright but it wasn't the reason why he put the distance between them.

"What?!"

He heard her ask. More questions were to follow.

"When?" Each time, the tone in her voice was like a spring let loose.

"Why?"

"I'm bringing you back to London tomorrow." He said when he got the chance, before she would start another circle of questions.

She kept quiet. He didn't turn to look at her this time. He felt his chest heavy. One more step closer to the new life he had planned for himself. The best term to describe the situation between them was "complicated", no matter what Alice felt for him or what Christian felt for her. It was too early for Christian to even contemplate... having feelings for another woman. Even if he couldn't deny there was an attraction between them. They antagonised each other, they completed each other. Born and raised in different worlds, they both played and manipulated, each in their own way, but both for the same reasons.

Survival.

Both ambitious to make their mark in their world, both done it in the wrong way.

But in this new life of his, he hadn't planned for Alice. There was no place for her.

"The distance... is too inconvenient." He added. "And then, on Monday..."

"What happens on Monday?" She asked him straight away.

He lifted his arm up, enough for him to open his eyes to look at her. Enough for her to stare at those heavy grey skies inside them. "We go to the Grandchester place. Get our bearings inside. Find where the safe-" He said quietly.

"Who's we?" She asked, having not let him finish his sentence.

He pressed his lips. Blew with frustration the air out through his nostrils.

"Me and a guy Charles should have to find by tomorrow." He explained. "So you see, there are plenty of things to put in place for..."

"You won't have the time to travel back and forth." She voiced Christian's reason for taking her back to London.

Christian's stare kept on her.

"What if-

Well I could-

I mean-

I don't mind staying here, I like it here." She argued.

"Nope, can't do that."

"What if I don't want to go back to Charlie?" She asked him after a silent pause.

"Whatever you have in mind-

Whatever goes on between you and him, Alice,"

"It is not of my concern..." He said slowly. He had learned by now. Alice was stubborn like a mule. She'd kick and scream but she would come back with him to London. And she could do whatever damn she pleased after that .

Anger steered inside her eyes. Of course, it was almost stupid, her insistence to stay there. There was nothing there. Just a plain old cabin, in the middle of a fucking forest. It wasn't that though. By now, she had realised, Christian was going one way or the other. He was determined, to turn the corner. Let them be and they had to let him be too. But putting the "in love" part on the side, she too felt jealous. Jealous he was to start anew somewhere, wherever that was but her? What about her... He hadn't even thought to himself, she may have wanted a new start too...

Charlie was good with her, but only if she kept within her boundaries. Only when she obeyed his wishes. He had been in charge of everything. Whatever she wished for, didn't really matter unless there was something he could gain from. Alice hadn't waited for Christian to shake her world. It was already crumbling faster than she expected. Perhaps, she had latched to the possibility of Christian taking pity of her, and actually-

No she hadn't hoped for love. It was clear to her how devastated Christian had been. That one night between him and her, didn't really mean much. At much as it pained her, she had to agree with him that it shouldn't have taken place.

It was his pity she had hoped for. Perhaps a camaraderie. Take her with him, or even let her choose what she wanted to do.

"Then, I decide to stay here." She said and hit her palm on the ground.

"No!" He shouted all of a sudden. "The deal was for me to give you back and I will. I cannot risk Rose-"

It all became clear to Alice. The plan Christian had organised in his head was focused on removing himself from Rose's life, as this was the only way that he'd keep her safe.

Alice's fate wasn't something that occupied his thoughts. It shouldn't really surprise her. It didn't make it any easier for her though. In the end, it was her fault. She shouldn't let herself fall for him. In fact, she should have tried her outmost to persuade Charlie to just ignore the Raven. But his ego was too big.

"Can you imagine what it could do to my reputation babe... Having the Raven on my beck and call? Having him as my errand boy? Breaking and entering on the orders of the Wag!" She had seen the crazy glimmer lighting up his pale blue eyes. Indeed, it was a great temptation, a grand prospect to put Christian on his payroll. The news would have spread like wild fire, the Raven finally having shed his moral stand as a taker from the rich, provider for the poor while becoming one of the Elephant Boys, perhaps Charlie's second-in-command man." She knew the admiration for Christian's abilities and character was there.

On the grass, close to her, lay Christian's satchel. The way Christian had thrown it on the ground, the flap had opened. Christian with his arm over his eyes, lay still and silent. He had already raised his voice over Alice's insistence to stay put at the forest cabin but he didn't argue further. To fight, he had no more will inside him. For once, Alice did not poke him further either. Thoughts kept her mind captive, of what could have been, what was to come, where did she fit in this unravelling of events which had started to resemble those crazy plots of a Shakespearean play. Her eyes stopped at the satchel, the corners of some drawings were half showing from inside. Curiosity overtook her body and pulled them out. Made with pencil, the lot of them, some felt serene, with soft delicate lines, a girl's profile gazing at the horizon, and others she thought felt as if drawn in anguish, smudged, thick lines, drawn again and again, walking away in the distance, seeing her only from her back.

There was one; Alice kept that one between her fingers the longest. A sketch of the Scarlet Rose painting. She had seen the painting only on photograph at the newspaper, the day after Billy had brought Christian to Charlie the night of the gallery opening. Lifted her head from looking at Rose and saw Christian, looking at her.

"I'm sorry!" She blurted out, apologised with flushed cheeks. She gave Christian his drawings. He took them from her hand without talking. Instead he let his stare to stand for a while on Rose.

"She's pretty..." Alice said softly.

"Yes...she is." He replied as if he was talking to himself.

Alice's eyes were fixed on him and his reactions having looked at his ex-lover, now being hundreds of miles away with another man who had his sights on her from the moment he had set foot in London.

"You still love her... "

For a moment, he seemed completely lost. Having said nothing. Letting Alice's comment hang in the air between them. He got up. Picked his satchel from the ground and shoved the drawings back inside.

"It doesn't matter now." He sounded dry, his reply merely stating a fact.

His eyes stopped on hers, while she was still sitting down. All the carefreeness he had witnessed on her earlier, while she swam on the river-

that woman who enchanted him then and had him drawing as if hypnotised on a blank page,

she wasn't there anymore.

Guilt washed over him inside.

"Alice... if the circumstances were different... I," He tried to excuse himself, his actions.

"We-"

He sighed. His whole life could have been summed up within those four words.

If-circumstances-were-different

Pushed his hair back with his hand. "I am sorry if I gave you the wrong impression... but I kidnapped you for my safety and Rose's safety, and I kept you hidden so he wouldn't try anything funny. You're coming with me, and on the day I set out to do the job, you are free to do as you please."

She didn't comment on his statement. She didn't contradict him. There was no use of doing anything. There and then, the chapter Christian felt like closing for her.

"I am going back to cabin. Come whenever you feel like it." He said to her and left her there.

Her surroundings drowned with life, sounds of birds and bees, the canopy above her swaying in the wind, the river's monotonous, calm breath. But Alice never felt so alone.

Summers in Scotland for those who live through them, are usually a dreich affair. Α hit and miss, the locals say; if lucky they'd get a week of summer weather at most. So, those days with the glorious weather which Terry and Candy were lucky to have while on Barra suited more of a Mediterranean country than a country closer to the Arctic circle and were met with great appreciation. How different a heart treats those things that don't come in abundance. Those that cannot be taken for granted.

The morning passed in an amorous haze for the couple. They hadn't left the bed till late. How can you feed a ten-year-hunger for love and intimacy; the fantasies which kept them both awake at night, daydream sometimes during the day. When even a slow caress took a more profound meaning, it carried a yarn, a tale of grief, a love lost and found.

And a kiss isn't just a kiss but a thirst, strong and urgent for all the things they were supposed to have lived and done and said, but instead they had remained locked deep down in the darkest corners of the heart, never to touch or contemplate; with the fear of

- like another poisoned spindle -

falling in limbo for the rest of their lives, when they ever dared of think of what a life together would have been if...

When the sun had travelled high up on the sky above them, in the spur of the moment, just as they were finishing their late breakfast, Terry suggested to her an excursion to the island, the two of them this time.

"That is an excellent idea Terry!" She said with enthusiasm and a wide smile on her face, which made him melt inside.

His plan was for them to pack some food to take with them and set off for the village of Castlebay. Both himself and Candy had visited only briefly alone, while they avoided each other. This time, they could do a proper visit. Once they'd reach the village, they would take it from there.

He smiled back at her. They prepared cold meat and cucumber sandwiches, packed two handfuls of strawberries and a bottle of wine, put everything in a basket, rode their bicycles and they set course on the one road that would take them to Castlebay.

The island of Barra could have been a remote island off the west coast of Scotland where one could hardly see any trees, but still the landscape wild as it was, proved to be nothing else than just breath taking. Wildflowers of the Western Isles bloomed as far as they could see; Irish lady's tresses, orchids, and yellow rattle, painted the plains with colours a painter's palette would have been envious of. Bright yellow and shades of purple and dark pinks. Green grass under their feet, the deep blue skies above them, and all around turquoise shores that could easily pass for tropical beaches. Ruins of stone buildings laid scattered and stood graceful in silence; some of them looked centuries old, with emerald green moss, smooth like velvet coating their surface, slowly letting nature reclaim them. Small butterflies in shades of blues, batted their wings like dancing dots of colour. They hovered between the flowers, while flocks of small Hebridean black sheep completed the idyllic surroundings as they grazed without a care in the world.

Christian's face flashed inside Candy's mind. There was a reason why he had picked this place and seeing its beauty, she understood why. A wave of deep sadness swept her up inside. Battled to put it to side. She wondered where he was; how he was. The decision she had taken to stay by Terry's side, the evening before, even if it was a decision which came from the bottom of her heart, it was not an easy decision to take.

Yes, like a sweet wine, it had a side which had been intoxicating to her. A whirlwind of feelings, an intense reunion of soul and body between Terry and her, and yet

The man who made it all possible was somewhere in London,

Alone

Battling against a darkness she had suspected, but only recently, through his letter, she had realised the extend of. She kept a secret and had taken a decision both of which slowly but surely were pulling her apart in opposite directions.

She knew in her heart, she wouldn't be able to withstand the pressure for long; She'd have to come clean and by doing so, she's also would have to stand against Terry's reaction. But whatever that reaction would be, ultimately, they would need to return to London a lot earlier than what Christian had planned for them. Two weeks was too long. She wanted to return to London to help him since she learned about him on the train. When Terry would find out who Christian was, he would want to return to London too. The only question was whether they would return together or apart...

While cycling next to Terry, surrounded by all this beauty, Candy pleaded to her heart. To stay silent for a few days. Give her and Terry a chance. Seeing how transformed he was since the night before, it was almost impossible not to go along and let them enjoy a few days of carefree abandon. Terry laughed and joked in a light-hearted manner; his face looking softer, younger.

He indeed was happy. He was the happiest he had ever felt for a very long time. Although he had to admit, the situation was not ideal; he too worried in passing about Christian's plan. Having known the man as long as he did, he was certain that Christian's plan must have been something extremely risky, touching the point of craziness. Of course, he could not say that with certainty. He actually wished he was wrong, but his instinct about Christian was telling him otherwise.

It wasn't as if Terry had grown sentimental over a man he wished to beat senseless a week or so ago, even if he had to admit -if Candy had not been between them- he had found him rather an agreeable character, but

there was a crucial BUT

Candy may have confessed her love to Terry and he had no reason not to believe her. He believed her with every inch of his being. He also knew her pretty well, and she was not a woman who took love lightly. The proof was the month he had spent close to her. Despite the heated moments between them, she had stood by Christian, up till the last moment. In fact,

Terry owed the happiness he felt

in part

to Christian for having the guts to step out of the relationship, having realised Candy's heart was not one-hundred-percent on their relationship. She never would have been. Part of her would have been haunted by Terry. Just as he had been haunted by Candy.

Christian's safety was therefore paramount to Terry, just because he felt he would be a man forever important in Candy's life. The uncertainty, the precariousness Christian's position entailed, was the one small cloud on Terry's horizon. Perhaps, they shouldn't spend the entire two weeks in Barra, as they were instructed. Perhaps they should return to London earlier. Try to get in contact with him again. In any case, that was the situation at that particular moment in time.

To bring us back to their trip in Castlebay, there was one thing that amazed Terry and that was the simplicity of the things that made him happy. He was next to the girl he loved, and she loved him back. Both present under the sunshine of a summer's day, on a beautiful island. That was enough for him.

Not money and titles, nor fame or indulgences; the only thing he indulged in was to have Candy forever by his side. Driven by the way he felt at the moment, watching the sun on her blond hair swaying by the wind, her gleaming eyes, hearing her laughing, had only managed to make him an optimist.

The first few stone houses of Castlebay came on sight. The village was mostly built around the bay which served also as a natural harbour and it was climbing up the slope of the hill that spread above it. Soon, they too had arrived there. They came off their bicycles. Met with locals who greeted them with cordial warm smiles. Those people weren't used to see visitors often so their behaviour had nothing staged. It was all very genuine and pleasant. They passed through narrow winding roads with houses by the side with neatly kept small gardens which brought them down to the harbour. There they could see the ruins of Kisimul Castle in the distance. They stood erect on rocks emerged from within the calm clear waters of the bay.

"Oh that is so beautiful, Terry!" Candy exclaimed to the sight of the castle which looked like as if it came out of a fairy tale, the way the sunlight reflected and sparkled off the quiet surface of the sea.

"It is, isn't it?" Terry replied, agreeing with her statement, while looking at her rather than at the castle.

"What now?" She asked him after a few minutes passed in silence as they both gazed at the bay.

Terry looked at the small marina where the bay started to widen. That was where he had been only a couple of days ago. There were some rowing and sailing boats and several fishing boats anchored there with their masts moving sideways following the movement of the waves. He hoped that the boat he took the other day was there -

The Dreamer.

"Follow me!", he turned and said to her with excitement in his eyes.

Candy did just that, being intrigued at what Terry had in mind. They approached the marina, where a few villagers were. Some were taking care of their boats, and others were mending their fishing nets, in quiet contemplation under the sun. With their faces carved by deep wrinkles, skin like leather and rough hands, these were men of the sea they greeted.

"Is Fraser MacTavish here by any chance?" Terry asked them.

Candy looked at him surprised to say the least. He smiled at her.

"I came here a couple of days ago." He told her once, one of the men pointed towards the end of the marina, where the 12-foot dingy stood. The owner of the boat was there. Fraser remembered Terry. With a warm smile and a firm handshake he met with him. Terry too, looked quite enthusiastic.

"Of course you can take Dreamer for a trip round the bay, lad! From last time I seen you, you do know your ropes, come to sailing."

Terry jumped in first and stretched his arms to pick up Candy's hands as she got on the boat. She left a shriek of happiness when she tried to find her balance once onboard. The man gave them their picnic basket. Terry pulled up the anchor and sat down at the back next to the tiller to steer the boat. He prompted her to sit next to him on the short bench with the tiller between them. After Fraser MacTavish dropped the rope back inside the boat, Terry took hold of the sheet.

"Away we go Candy!", he said to her followed by his loud laugh, as the little boat under his guidance, started skimming with speed, crossing the waters of the bay.

A light wind fattened the sails up, pushed them ever forward. They watched the marina and the houses becoming smaller in the distance. With the same wind sweeping their faces, Candy stared at Terry being in charge and looking happy for it. He sailed pretty good and that was something that she didn't know. She voiced her surprise to him.

"I didn't know you could sail!" She spoke with a loud voice as the swiftness of the wind was carrying with speed her words away.

He didn't take his eyes from the sail but he smiled.

"We used to spend the family summer holidays off at the shores of River Forth. Father owned a big cottage outside the town of Aloa, northwest of Edinburgh. We would sail every day. Of course he did it for showing off to the upper class vacationers and neighbours there of what a perfect father he was and I hated his guts for it..." He said and turned his eyes to her giving her a look that showed her he was ok since it was a long time ago, "But I loved sailing so I was lucky." He continued and laughed.

He did feel in his element. The sense of freedom he was getting from sailing captivated his soul, especially back to the time when he felt like a puppet under his father's orders. It could clear his head and make him feel peaceful with the world just to the sound of the waves lashing at the bow, holding the sails under tight control, mastering the wind to propel his boat forward.

"Back to those early days," He started saying again to her, "if you'd ask me what I'd like to become, I would have said a sailor."

"Oh! I didn't know that Terry!", she said feeling very surprised to discovering new things about him.

"I didn't have the chance to tell you." He replied to her surprise. "In a way, it is similar to acting...on some level, anyway." He continued and turned to her, "With sailing, it is you and the nature, working against each other or together. With acting, it's the same thing, only it is you and yourself you have to work with or against...both forceful and difficult to handle."

Candy didn't add anything to this confession of his. She kept staring at him, holding the ropes with one hand, turning the sails where the wind would be of help, steering the boat further forward towards the open bay. His eyes mirrored the sea. With his tanned complexion and his white shirt open down his chest, filling up with air, just like the sails above them, she felt her heart palpitating by his quiet confidence. The intimate moments between them came to her mind and a chill run under her skin. He turned and stared at her.

"Would you like to try?" He asked her with a smile and for some reason she felt blushing.

"Yes!" She replied.

He lifted his hand from the tiller and put her hand on it instead, telling her to hold tight.

"When you steer the tiller to the left, the boat turns to the right, and when you steer to the right, the boat goes to the-"

"Left." Candy finished his sentence.

"That's correct...to the left...I can see that you are an eager student, Freckles." He commented and started laughing.

"I bet I am also very good at it!" Candy acted as being annoyed with his laughter.

"I will hold the sails and I'll tell you when to steer left or right, ok?" He said back to her, trying to hold himself looking serious.

Candy nodded and her eyes took the stare of concentrating at her task.

Suddenly, she heard Terry's voice, telling her to steer left. She pushed the tiller all the way to the left and rocked the boat as he move was swift and not gentle as it should be. Terry turned to her, and pointed she would only need to make soft moves with the tiller, his eyes smiling to her even more.

After a few of her attempts in steering where the sailing boat was drawing a zigzag course in the open waters, and a few laughs from Terry's side together with a few annoyed yells from her, they managed to take a smooth route, with his proud approval over Candy's steering coming after.

They were passing outside the old ruined castle. Terry sat back next to her. Put his hand on hers to help her hold the tiller steadier, while they passed near rocks. The warmth of his hand on her cool skin made her feel more on edge inside but she hid that behind a calm face.

The sight of the castle as they slowed down passing in front of it though took her mind away. Only three of its walls stood in some measure, for they weren't whole, while the fourth was completely missing, giving them the opportunity to view the insides of it. Remnants of rooms and stone stairs stood covered with greenery, shrubs and moss that had grown through the floor and from within the walls with the centuries passed. She thought what life would be when this castle was brand new, of those people who once had existed there...the stories those standing walls had been witnesses of.

"Captivating...don't you think?" She heard Terry's voice behind her. It brought back the feeling of his hand that was still firmly on hers.

She turned and looked at him.

"Yes." She replied. "It is rather melancholic to think of what it was and what it is."

They started sailing away from the ruins of Kisimul Castle. They headed for the open seas, while sea birds flew above them. They slowed down again when in the distance they spotted a small school of dark spotted Harbour seals, tearing the surface of the sea like silk with their fluid swimming. Candy's eyes were wide with excitement at their sighting. Soon after, they were even lucky to see a couple of small porpoises, as they swam and played together. They were met with happy shouts from the boat.

With the ruins of the castle behind them, they decided to throw anchor and stop where they were. The Dreamer looked like a sea bird floating on the calm surface of the ocean, under a hot, glorious sun. He leaned towards Candy and tasted the salt on her lips. His hand rested on her cheek; pushed his fingers through her hair. They didn't talk, moan or sigh. There was no sound apart from the sea, the rippling of the sails.

"God." He whispered, the tip of his nose touching hers, his forehead on hers, rubbing with his thumb her half opened lips, promising him everything, "I love you so much."

She couldn't get enough of hearing Terry saying he loved her. Held his face between her hands, lost inside the blue waves of his eyes. "My beautiful man..." She said with a soft voice, the green valleys in her eyes sparkling.

It was the glaring summer sun on mid-afternoon or the physical exertion of sailing the boat but mainly it was...

was the desire which remained unabated between them, it turned the blood inside Terry's veins hot and sticky, he could explode. Midway their making out, he asked her with a hoarse voice whether she cared for a dive. Candy giggled in surprise, but she passed.

"I don't believe how Miss Freckled Tarzan here... has turned into such a party pooper." He said to her with a mocking smile, looking at her wide eyed and shirtless.

"I don't want to wet my clothes, Terry." She protested.

"Suit yourself." Terry replied and readied himself to dive in.

Oh... bollocks

She swore inside her head, Terry having reminded her, her daredevil character from the college, when she used to jump from branch to branch under the semi darkness of the dusk, once the bells of St. Paul's were ringing the start of the curfew. She had so desperately wanted to become a lady once... but with Terry, there was no rules. She could be herself, her true self, the tomboy climbing trees, with the pig tails and the scratched knees.

Even if she wanted to be elegant and pretty for him, to impress him, to notice her as a girl and not as a monkey, but it took her a while to understand... the strength of the attraction behind his teasing. Even if they infuriated her, just like now.

She unbuttoned her skirt with quick moves, and jumped into the water even before he had time to move.

"Well, well, well." She heard him yelling, half trying to steady his laughing. "I thought I saw a monkey flying by."

She yelled his name in anger, and heard the water splashing from him diving in the crystal waters. He resurfaced next to her with a huge grin on his face.

"I couldn't leave you alone. Angry monkeys are dangerous they say..." He teased her and pushed his wet hair back. Oh, how he had missed this. All those moments they should have lived years ago... moments of happiness and pure bliss cramming themselves in the space of how many hours... it was about twenty four hours ago they have given up on resisting each other...

less than a day even when he heard her say "I love you..."

The highest of the highs, a euphoria he had never experienced before, total surrender to heart and soul, addicted to her, addicted to her loving him. He grabbed her from her waist, glued her body on his, sealed her mouth with his, before she protested further. Her resistance was futile, in a spark of a moment, it even became half-hearted -

She really couldn't resist, didn't want to resist. She wanted to live through everything, feel everything, all the love he was showering her with,

sometimes, the extend of and depth, his intensity, stole her breath from inside her lungs, made her want to cry tears of happiness.

"Now I can kiss you without the risk of having a heat stroke..." He whispered by her ear, the flesh of his lips trailing down her neck. She felt his thighs stroking hers. Put her arms around his neck and laughed with his admission.

"My innocent Freckles... thinking I only wanted to swim... when my only desire was to get you all-"

"Wet..." She replied, lowering her voice, blushing by hearing herself sound so indecent with her double entendre.

"Listen to you, Miss White, what a dirty mind you have." He teased her.

His hands covered her small breasts under her linen blouse floating around her body like a transparent jellyfish. Her nipples rubbed against his open palms. He lowered his head. She gasped with pleasure when she felt him sucking them. Her legs tensed around his waist.

Terry...

His name became one with the waves, when it left her lips without a breath.

His right hand went down her groin, slid under her knickers; he held her body tight on his. He tasted the sea on her skin; not taking his eyes off her face, examining the physical signs of the pleasure he was giving her, pushing her closer to...

His moves were slow. A hedonistic torture, he seemed he had no intention of finishing soon. Her sighs became harder, sharper. She kept tilting her pelvis forward, against his hand, tensing her buttocks, her chest was rubbing on his. She buried her fingers within his wet hair. Had lost all inhibitions. Took his lips with hers. A kiss, desperate seeking release.

"Please Terry..."

"Please what? Are you begging me, Freckles?" He feigned ignorance with the smile of a devil.

She nodded, unable to say any words, completely surrendered to him.

"You like what I am doing?" He asked her, having her burning under his touch.

I...

[...]

do...

[...]

"I want to see you come."

His voice sounded deep, soft like velvet. He deepened his touch underwater, felt her warmth, the contractions of her orgasm, heard her moans, her quick breaths, her fingers grasping at his hair.

He was hers and she was his world.