Chapter 20
A/N Separation and Heartache
Some more angst, but hold on we will get past it soon. Also thank you everyone that is reading and reviewing. Reviews make me feel good when I get the alert.
Benjamin was in his office with his Dad, they were working on transferring all of Benjamin's work to his Dad's firm. William and Benjamin met with all his clients over the last week and they agreed to let William take over their accounts. Benjamin was looking through Benji's file and tears formed in his eyes at the thought of leaving him too.
William was on the phone, he turned and saw the tears running down his son's face. He completed the call and walked over to his son.
He placed his hand on his shoulder and Benjamin looked up at his Dad. William pulled his son into a hug and Benjamin broke down in tears.
William soon had quiet tears running down his face. Benjamin pulls back from him and sits back down in his chair.
Wiping his tears away he looks over at his Dad. "I am so scared of not coming back and leaving the people that I love."
"Son, I know you are and this is hard. Are you sure you want to go? We can still figure out a way for you not to," William asked him.
"Dad as much as I would like for that to happen, I can not in my heart let it happen. I have too much integrity to run from this," he says.
William shakes his head. "Come on Suzanne is expecting us for dinner and it is not good to keep a new bride waiting," he laughed.
Dinner was a solemn event. Everyone was trying their best to not think of what tomorrow would bring. William and Emma left for their hotel after hugs and kisses were exchanged.
Suzanne was in the bedroom getting ready for bed. She was trying hard to hold her tears in and not make Benjamin's last night at home sad. She suddenly felt her stomach rebel and barely made it to the bathroom.
Benjamin was putting the last of his things in his bag when he heard her throwing up in the bathroom. He quickly ran to the bathroom to check on her. He knelt down beside the toilet and rubbed her back to soothe her.
Suzanne sat back against the wall when she was convinced that her stomach was as empty as it could get.
Benjamin rose and returned with a cool cloth and a glass of water. He sat down beside her and wiped her forehead as she took small sips of the water.
"Are you feeling better, do you think you are done throwing up?" he asked her lovingly with concern written on his face.
"I think so, I don't know where that came from. I have not been feeling sick, it just hit me all of a sudden," she said.
He stood and helped her to her feet. With an arm around her he guided her to lay down in their bed. He covered her and then went and got on his side. He pulled her to him and soothingly ran his hand through her hair to calm her. She fought it but was soon relaxed and in a deep sleep. He stayed a bit longer to ensure she was truly asleep.
He got out of bed and went to finish packing his bag. Sitting down on the couch he thought about what tomorrow would look like.
He would have to say goodbye to everyone he loved. Suzanne, his parents, her parents, his grandfather and friends. His future was uncertain and that was troubling to him. He was always one that enjoyed structure and simplicity and starting tomorrow it would be anything but.
Around 4am, Suzanne awoke unaware of what had happened the night before after they left the bathroom. She woke up nestled on Benjamin's chest. He was deep in sleep and she enjoyed watching the steady rise and fall of his breathing. It brought her great comfort.
She was deep in thought as to what her life would look like after today. Benjamin was leaving for who knows how long. First there would be Basic Training, then specialized training and then he would be shipped off to Vietnam. He was not told how long he would be gone or when she would possibly see him again.
The thought of him being gone for a year or longer terrified her and tears started to run down her face.
Benjamin stirred when he felt the moisture on his chest. He moved her hair from her face and cupped her cheek.
She looked up at him with tears streaming down her face. He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her lips. He used his thumbs to wipe away her tears. He pulled her tighter into his embrace.
"You have to come back to me, I don't know how I am going to survive being separated from you. If something happens to you it will hurt me so deeply. Please be careful and don't take any unnecessary risks," she pleaded with him.
"I will do everything I can to stay safe and come home to you in one piece. My love for you will guide me back to you. There is not a force on this earth strong enough to keep me from you," he told her.
They made love slow and sensually as they didn't know when they would be together again.
Seven am arrived and it was time to go to the train station. Everyone was at their house to say their goodbyes.
Only the parents would be accompanying them to the train station. On the platform hugs and kisses were exchanged and tears were shed.
Suzanne was holding it together for his sake and didn't want to break down in front of him. She knew how hard this was for him too. Saying goodbye to loved ones is something that touched him deeply.
A final boarding call was made and he reached for her one last time. Pulling her into his arms for the last time was hard for him and he fought back the tears.
"Make sure you come home or Benji will starve for the lack of treats you always give him," she smiled through her tears.
"I will do my best, don't want my best guy starving away to nothing," he laughed through his tears.
One last kiss for her and he boarded the train.
Everyone was going to go back to the farm for a meal and to spend some time together today.
Suzanne left the group once they arrived and went to the barn. Blaze stuck his head over his stall when he heard her boot steps. She walked over to him and placed her arms around his neck and truly let her tears fall. Blaze seemed to understand her sorrow and placed his head on her shoulder to hug her back.
She cried all the tears and stepped back away from him. She looked to her right and Benji had his head out his stall trying to see what all the noise was. She laughed when she saw him.
Walking up to his stall, she reached in her pocket and pulled out the sugar cubes that Benjamin had put in there before they left the house for the train. Make sure you give these to my best guy for me, he told her.
Benji seems to sense her sadness and he too placed his head on her shoulder. "He is gone and I don't know how long before we see him again. We will get through this together," she told him.
Making her way back to the house, she was suddenly overcome with nausea. She bolted over to the side of the house and emptied the scarce contents of her stomach. Once she thought her shaky legs would carry her, she went into the house.
Everyone was gathered in the living room. She excused herself and went to her room to clean her tear stained face and brush her teeth.
Dinner was served and everyone sat and ate the meal that Ellen and Emma had made. Most were not hungry, but went through the motions of eating to not hurt their feelings.
Everyone retired for the night. The Adam's would be returning to New York tomorrow. They would all attempt to get on with their day to day lives.
Suzanne had started working with her Grandpop and they were developing quite the reputation for putting out solid inventive designs. She decided she would throw herself into work to try and distract herself from her loneliness and heartbreak. They were putting the finishing touches on several new projects and the work really helped her get through the day.
Benjamin had promised he would call or write as soon as he could and she could not wait to hear from him.
Benjamin arrived at Parris Island and began the process of being indoctrinated into the Marines.
First it would be housing assignments, a trip to the supply department for uniforms and such. A required haircut and paperwork processing. Last he would be sent to the medical department for his physical and psych evaluation.
Day four found Benjamin sitting on his bunk in the barracks with a form in his hand that was beyond comprehension to him.
NOT SUITED FOR MILITARY DUTY stamped in red across it. The letter went on to explain that he had a rare blood disorder known as hemophilia. His blood did not clot like it was supposed to. He was unaware of the condition and had never had an injury that would have brought this to life.
Benjamin was dejected that he would not be allowed to serve. How could he return to his life a failure? He was fully prepared to serve his country and even proud to do it, now this. What would his family and friends think? Would he be branded a coward for not serving?
He was deep in thought when the Sergeant walked in to tell him his ride to the train station was waiting.
He arrived at the train station, but where would he go? Could he return home to Charlottesville with a clear conscience. Just pick up his life where he left off. What about Suzanne, she would be disappointed in him and would still love him.
He walked to the ticket counter and got a ticket. He needed to go somewhere and get his head together.