19/3/06
Moodswings – Charlotte Church
Now first of all I
Wanna let you know that
I've been known for some
Minor mood strings now and then
It all started back when
People were doing me wrong and
Because of my position
I would hold my tongue for them
Harry reflected on when she had first used her calming affect on him. Back in fifth year, when no one would listen to him, when no one believed him. He couldn't do or say anything to change things, and that frustrated him more than anything else could. He had vented his rage, and vented it well, on anyone and everyone around him. Ron and Hermione had no idea what to do, Ron seemed embarrassed, and Hermione so nervous around him. But she was none of that. She was strong, confident and sympathetic all at the same time. She had understood.
Bad relationships
And people I thought were friends
And people judging me
Before they get to know a thing
When you decide to step to me
It shows me so clearly
You just want to see
See the other side of me
He remembered now how it felt, stepping into a room, and seeing people turn toward him, the whispers stop, or sometimes just get louder. No one knew what to think, and Harry knew no one he could really confide in. Except Ginny. She got angry right back at him, the only thing that really calmed him down. She gave it to him, and good, the only person to reach in, and try and pull him out of his own misery and self doubt.
And you don't know what I'm going through
And you might think it's all about you
But it's everything I've been holding back
It's just bad timing to come at me like that
And now, after their relationship has ended, he watches her walk away. He has pushed away the only person to ever understand him, and what he is going through. But, he consoles himself, she can never really understand. Not really. And while he wouldn't trade the last few months with her for anything, he wishes it had happened later, in a year or two, when this was all over, and he didn't have to hurt her like he just did.
I try to keep my cool
Thus that's what I try to do but
It's so hard dealing with
People just like you
I try to walk away from
Situations that run
Into complications
That make me lose control
Harry doesn't think he can feel any worse than he does this minute. As he packs up his life, or what he can take with him, he leaves behind what he really wants. She had constantly tried, all summer to get him to react to her. But he wouldn't, and he didn't. Letters from 'new' boyfriends, sneaking into his room at night, tantrums, sobbing, anything. But he just walked away each time. He could see the hurt in her face, in her deep brown eyes, but he knew it was for her best interests.
If I give in to you then
It's what you want me to do
And if I lose my cool
Then I'm only pleasing you
You know just how to push me
My temperature is rising
Blood pressure is building
I'm about to lose control
And as he gathers the last of his things, he turns around to exit the room. She stands there, her arms crossed, her face set in the oh-so familiar determined frown. She wont let him past her, she wont let him leave. He sighs, and puts his trunk down, walks back into the room and sits. After all this time, he isn't going to let her get him like this.
And you don't know what I'm going through
And you might think it's all about you
But it's everything I've been holding back
It's just bad timing to come at me like that
He sits, and looks at her, waiting for her to grow tired, waiting for her to say something. But she doesn't. She stands there, waiting for him to be the first, determined not to speak or move until he caves.
I'm sorry
Did I cross the line
I tried to warn you away
Way ahead of time
I'm so frustrated that I
Feel like I could cry
This could be the time
But I'm not going out like that
Minutes pass, and Harry gets impatient. He has been trying not to look at her, but now the frustration sets in. He looks up, and is about to speak… but her eyes stop him. Her deep brown eyes, now filled with tears and questions, ready to spill down onto her cheeks any second. Not able to hold back what he has all summer, he crosses the room in two swift strides, embraces her, and kisses her with a passion he had tried to force from his mind, but which now comes crashing back into his memory.
And you don't know what I'm going through
And you might think it's all about you
But it's everything I've been holding back
It's just bad timing to come at me like that
All thoughts, all worries and precautions are driven from his mind. He pulls back slightly and looks at her. A triumphant gleam in her eye, and a broad grin on her face make him chuckle. Yes, he has to protect her, and keep her away from him so she doesn't get hurt, but for this moment, for this small moment in time, he lets her win.
To come at me like that
To come at me like that
To come at me like that