Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author's note: Okay, I've got a lot of people asking why Lily isn't acting like she's in love with James yet and why she isn't saying that's she'll actually marry James yet. Don't worry though, everything's going as planned. Believe me. Oh, also, here's, um, quite a bit of fluff in this chapter. : )
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Chapter Six-Happiness Shattered
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Tap!
Lily grumbled groggily and rolled over, face buried in her pillow.
Tap!
"Wha-?" She groaned, covering her head with the blanket.
It was Saturday at around 2:30 AM. Lily was sleeping. Obviously. That was what most people did at 2:30 AM in the morning.
She hadn't seen James or his friends since the Attack of the Rocks. Lily wondered what he was doing during that time period. Working? Planning the wedding (Lily snorted at this thought)? Playing quidditch? Out with his friends? Moving furniture into their new house (which she wasn't going to live in since they weren't really getting married)? Was he at Diagon Alley?
Lily didn't really care where or what he was doing, it was just strange that he hadn't visited her over the few days, since he came over just about everyday. Was he mad at her for laughing at him about the whole thinking rocks were attacking their car? She doubted that; he looked quite happy with her in the car, smiling goofily and holding her hand and all.
The engagement party was today, Saturday; James would be there, Lily knew.
Tap!
The half asleep (or half awake) girl, groaned again, slowly sitting up in bed, eyes just barely open, scanning her room. Lily had just looking over at the window when there was another-
Tap!
She jumped as something small flew up and her window. "What the bloody-oof!" Lily, suprised as everything, fell off the bed and onto the floor. She moaned and rubbed her now sore bum, then sat still for a moment, realizing her parents might hear all the racket she was making- actually, she wasn't making all the noise. What was being throw at the window? Who or what was throwing it?
Tap!
Lily slowly stood, stumbling groggily to the window, opening it up and leaning out, over the windowsill. Just as she stuck her head out, one of those mysterious something's flew up and hit her right in the forehead. She immediately craddled it with her hands."Ow! What in Merlin's Beard is going on-?"
"Ooh, er, sorry, Lily love!"
Lily's hands left her now swollen forehead; she looked down. And down just next to her mother's tulips and the bench they (her and James) sat at the first day she woke up eighteen and James said Loved her, was James himself, mouth gapping up at her (or her forehead) in horror.
"Out to show me a romantic evening, James?" She asked rather dryly.
"Well, actually, sure, if that's what you want to call it." James replied, a smirk slowly spreading across his face.
"Your doing a rather bad job, aren't you? First you wake me up at 2:30 in the morning, then you promptly hit me in the head with a rock."
"The rock really wasn't planned." James replied doing his ever so annoying habit of messing his hair up. Lily couldn't help but smile softly at his stupid, irritating habit.
"Right." She replied.
"Can I apparate up there?"
Lily took a small step backwards, gulping. "Er, here?" She asked anxiously. She didn't want James in her bedroom! What would happen if her parents found him?
"Yeah, there." James answered with a laugh.
Lily crossed her arms and leaned on the windowsill, looking at James. Should she? Who knows what might happen-No, nothing would happen because she would be mature and make sure nothing happened. Right. Right, Lily.
Awwwwwwwwww, goooooooosh, Lily. Your just soooooooo matureeeee!
The bleeding wedding dress. Wonderful. Lily was wondering when it would show up.
"In here?" She squeaked again as she pointed over her shoulder, into the bedroom.
James tilted his head back some and peered at her with squinted eyes, a funny smile on his face,"Yeah, there. Got something to hide, Lily?" He asked jokily.
Lily gave a small nervous laugh, along with some giggling, since she was obviously nervous. "No." She answered quickly, for reasons she didn't know. She really didn't have anything to hide in her room. James opened his mouth to reply, but Lily suddenly cut him off,"Wait. Why didn't you just apparate here in the first place. You know, instead of throwing rocks at my window and head." She unconciously rubbed her forehead.
James shrugged,"Well, I am a gentleman,",she rolled her eyes," Besides, I didn't want to startle you." He finished. Lily had to agree. Waking up to see James Potter's face right next to hers' would be a bit startling.
Lily looked over at a bunch of rose bushes close by, thinking. What was she to do? Let him apparate up here? Not let him? He'd probably apparate up her anyways, if she said no, thinking something was wrong.
She giggled shakily and replied,". . .Okay. . ."
In a blink of an eye, James disappeared with a small crack. She peered around outside, taking deep breathes. Honestly, she wasn't cut out for this being engaged (especially to James Potter) stuff.
Lily felt a tug of her long hair and spun around to see James smiling teasingly at her,"Startled much?" She gave him a small push in the arm,"No. I was just. . ."
"Being startled?" James helped out.
She ignored his comment and changed the subject calmly, as if the two weren't standing in the middle of her bedroom at 2:30 in the morning,"So, what are you doing here, anyways? The engagement party isn't till noon, James. Is your clock wrong?"
"Yeah, it was very wrong. So wrong that I ended up coming about eleven hours early." He sighed deeply and shrugged again,"I guess I should just stay here till then." James turned his head and scanned around the room,"Your room's, er, nice."
Lily didn't know if he was making fun of her room by stumbling over his words or it was something else. Nervousness? Had he never been in her bedroom before? She had thought him visiting tonight was just a regular thing he did. Maybe not.
They stood for a few moments, Lily vaguely wondered at his words, questions swarming her head like a bunch of angry bees. The silence was agonizing. Should she say something? Should she not? Should she move away from him? Closer to him? Should she look into his eyes? Should she look over his shoulder? What was she suppose to do? It wasn't every night Lily had her fiance (not really, though, since she knew the wedding just wouldn't take place) in her bedroom alone, in the dark. Not that she wanted James to be there. She finally decided to gaze at James' forehead.
James stood in front of Lily in what seemed to her as an awkward way. She didn't know. . .He bit his lip, studying her face, hands fidgiting at his sides. Lily. . .
. . .He abruptly took Lily's face in his hands and kissed her quickly. Lily was suprised, to say the least. Her heart pounded at the suddenness. None the less, she replied back, feeling as though James would get suspicious if his fiancee just stopped kissing him. His hands left Lily's face, pulled her closer, encircling his arms around her waist; hands traveling up and down her back slowly.
Lily was trembling.
Whether it was from the suddeness, nervousness, or something else, she wasn't sure. Hesitantly, her hands eventually found James' shoulders, pulling him down closer to her level. Lily heard him groan and wondered in horror if she was a bad kisser (or now it be more appropriate to call her a "snogger", if that was actually a word), after all, it was her first, ahem, snogging session. She felt his mouth grin slightly against hers. There were two possible reasons for this. One: He was making fun of her bad kissing (or snogging) skills. Two: He was actually enjoying their kissing (or snogging).
She really didn't know what to do. About the kissing or the touching. Or James' kissing or his touching. Or the very distracting fact (to Lily) that they were getting closer and closer to her bed. Or the fact that she was panicking like crazy inwardly, panicking outwardly coming up soon. Or the fact that her head felt strangely dizzy and fuzzy. Or that Lily was feeling another full blown giggling session coming.
She felt so. . .bizarre. This feeling of kissing James made her feel so different; Lily had never felt this way. She'd never snogged before either, though, so maybe this was how you always felt when snogging with anyone.
"I love you-" James began softly kissing her neck,"-so much."
Now Lily thought her heart was going to just burst. This was too much. Why, oh why, did any of this have to happen to her? Was she just that lucky? Or maybe she should say unlucky. Lily couldn't decide.
She hadn't even imagined that James would kiss her neck-not that she imagined him kissing her in the first place. . .
Lily swore she felt James' hands brush lightly against her bum, but only found a few seconds later that it was actually the bed that was brushing against her bum. She was, er, happy that it wasn't, er, James that, er. . .brushed against her, er, bum. Yeah. Lily didn't think she could that; she was shaking even more.
She stopped and locked her legs stiffly, refusing to move closer to the bed, still kissing James. He noticed her reluctance to move and lightly brushed his lips on hers,"It's okay, Lily. It's okay. . ." He repeated over and over for a few seconds then trailed off slowly and-to Lily's astonishment, it seemed as though James sounded nervous. Shy. Awkward. It took alot to get James Potter shy. Lily felt a little better at this thought. Maybe she wasn't the only one nervous as everything right now. . .
They pulled apart, James' arms still around Lily, holding her tightly. Lily sighed in replief (hoping it didn't sound real relief-y to James). James leaned his head on her bruised forehead (she winced slightly) and sighed, looking into her eyes,"You know how I am around you, Lily. Your like firewhiskey. . ."
Lily was offended by this statement. She was nothing like firewhiskey, thank you very much. She smelt nothing like it, looked nothing like-
". . .Your intoxicating." His voice barely above a whisper.
Oh, well, er, maybe she misunderstood. She gulped at his words. They were so. . .real? Of course they were real! They had meaning. That's what she was looking for. Meaning.
Of course, just at that moment, she had reached her nervous breakdown level and began to giggling violently (trying not to make too much noise; her parents might hear).
James pulled back slightly, his eyes twinkling behind his glasses,"Do you think my poetic words are that funny? Or are you nervous?"
Lily couldn't stop giggling.
She pulled away from James, not answering, and sat down on the edge of the bed. Lily just couldn't believe or understand what had just happened. She couldn't believe or understand anything that had happened since the first moment she woke up eighteen in the first place!
Lily felt the mattress shift cautiously as James also sat down on her right. Close; not at all to Lily's surprise now a days. "My words really aren't that cheesy, Lily. . .are they?" James asked with a slight frown on his face.
She stopped giggling for a few seconds,"Oh, no. They're not cheesy, James!" And Lily meant that. They weren't. They had meaning. They were real. They were true. She felt guilt at the thought of not marrying him. "It's just, you, er, reminded me of a firewhiskey joke someone, er, told me-yes, told me along time ago." That was an incredibly quick lie. An incredibly quick, lame lie.The two sat for a few minutes looking about the room, occasionally looking over at each other.
Lily yawned. James yawned seconds after her,"You made me yawn." He stated looking down her tiredly.
"So sorry." Lily mumbled yawning again.
James yawned again. "You did it again!"
"Well, James, if you think about it, I do have a reason for yawning. It's 2:45 in the morning. And really it's your own fault your yawning because you woke me me." Lily explained.
James yawned. "Right. Sorry."
Lily's eyes drooped slowly, her head falling onto James' shoulder. James looked down at her and smiled sleepily, eyes also drooping,"Say you love me."
The girls' eyes barely opened at this statement. Actually, Lily hardly heard it. Yet, she still hesitated a moment or two. If she wasn't so tired right then, Lily could have come up with some excuse to get out of saying the L word to James, but right. . .she was tired. She had to say it; it was the only option. She gulped slowly and parted her lips,"I. . .love you, James." There. She'd said it. It seemed so. . .so strange saying those words. . .
. . .But not revolting or disgusting. It didn't make her choke to death saying the words. The words flowed smoothly through her lip; not bitterly. Lily didn't struggle to get the words out. Was this the same way with everyone? Was it that easy to say you loved someone, yet not really love them? Or was there something more that she couldn't understand?
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Lily woke to the sound of her mother bustling downstairs, cooking breakfast she guessed. She felt James' arms around her, holding her.
She felt. . .nice. Lily didn't like feeling nice. Well, if James Potter was the reason for feeling nice, then she didn't want to.
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"Banana."
"Ew."
"What's wrong with banana ice cream?" James asked, an eyebrow raised as Lily swallowed her chocolate ice cream.
"It's banana, James. That's all there is to it!" She replied as though the answer was soobvious.
It was around three-ish and the engagement party had ended an hour ago. Lily would rather have called it a guilt party consider it was a party celebrating an engagement that wasn't real. And the wedding dress wasn't helping at all.
I helpppppeeddd quittte a bit thaaaaaank youuuuu very much!
Lily rolled her eyes as James was going on about the wonders of banana ice cream. The two had ended up at Florean Fortescue's Ice-Cream Parlor at Diagon Alley, after the party, talking about nonsense. Lily was actually glad they were talking about nothing since all she wanted to do now is forget about the whole guilt party.
"When will we be seeing the grandchildren, Lily? I want grandchildren!"
"You two haven't been enjoying each other too much yet, have you?"
"So. . .where's the honeymoon?"
It was awful. And embarrassing. Those were only a few comments.
"-and what's your deal with chocolate and licorice wand ice cream?" James asked, taking a huge bite of banana ice cream.
Her lips pursed,"Chocolate and licorice wand ice cream very nice."
"Uh, huh." James said in a non-believing face. Lily gave a short nod and took another bite of ice cream. James smirked, taking a scoop of ice cream in his spoon and flicking it at an unknowing Lily.
She froze in mid-bite.
Lily's head slowly came up, glaring at James. She snatched up a napkin wiping up her face. "Did you just flick ice cream at me?"
"I think I just did."
Lily nodded, a tight smile on her face. She slowly, but confidently lifting her ice cream cone (she had a cone, James had a bowl) to James face, rubbing it right in the middle of his bemused face.
She smirked.
"You just-"
"Returned the favor." Lily cut him off, still smirking proudly at James.
James slowly took off his now ice cream covered glasses, grabbed a napkin, then wiped them off. "This is cold." He said, an amused look on his face, now wiping up his ice cream covered face.
"Well, if I'm correct, ice cream's suppose to be cold. If you want, I'll go ask-" Lily said, starting to get up. James reached over and grabbed her arm, "That's okay. I'm good."
"Are you sure-?"
"Oh, yeah, yeah." James assured her, a smirk on his face.
Lily shrugged, sitting down again, a cheeky smirk on her face. She laughed for a moment before turning her attention to a little boy sitting at a table with his parents (she supposed), licking ice cream. He bursted out giggling as his fathers ice cream (vanilla and chocolate frogs) fell out of his cone and to the floor below. The mother shook her head while sending her husband a disapproving look. The husband shrugged sheepishly while magically banishing the ice cream and sharing a laugh with his son while the mother wasn't looking. The child giggled harder. Lily saw the mother look over at the two sharing the laughter without them noticing, the mother smiled affectionately. Soon, the father got up to get another ice cream cone. Would that been her and James if she actually went through with this engagement? She didn't know. . .
Next to that table was couple that look about sixteen, smiling shyly at each other while eating their ice cream. They reminded her of herself at fifteen-wait! She was fifteen!. . .Just eighteen. . .at the same time. Whatever. She remembered going on a few dates the past year. They were filled with sweaty hands, shy looks, and awkward silence.
A few tables away, by the window, was an elderly man sitting alone, peacefully reading a book, no ice cream in sight. He smiled softly at whatever he was reading, chuckling at some points. Lily wished she could read right now.
She turned to James. He was talking about something. Lily couldn't hear him. She couldn't hear anything. All sound was blocked out. He had a dimple when he smiled. Of course he did, though. James Potter was always laughing and smiling (and smirking). His hair was as messy as ever. He liked it that way. He was smiling at her, laughing. What was he saying?
Lily looked back over at the family, father still waiting in line to get another ice cream cone. He looked over his shoulder back at his wife. He smiled at her as he caught her eye. She smiled softly back. Their son tugged at his mothers sleeve, breaking their smile. The mother gave one last smile before turning to her son. She tilted her head, listening to him, she laughed as he pointed at his ice cream. They were happy.
The sixteen year old's hesitantly edged their hands across their small round table. They were happy.
The elderly man was chuckling again as he turned a page in his book. He was happy.
She turned back to James. He was still smiling at her, like he did almost all the time (including at Hogwarts). He was happy.
She smiled hestitantly back. Lily was-she was. . .content.
"Just can't get enough of my good looks, can you, Lily?" James asked teasingly, unconsciously running a hand through his hair.
Lily gave a laugh and rolled her eyes. "Yes, James. I just can't get enough."
He leaned back in his chair arrogantly, smirking. "Knew it."
"Your so conceited, James Potter." Lily commented, licking her ice cream.
"I was thinking more along the lines of wonderful, but whatever levitates your feather, love." Lily forgot James made up stupid sayings like that. He did it all the time at Hogwarts.
As Lily opened her mouth to reply, a chilling phrase rang through the air.
"Avada Kedavra!"
Lily's head swerved in the direction of the deadly curse, James standing already, wand at the ready. There was silence for a few seconds, the crowd letting what was had just happened settle in their minds. She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. Standing by the window of the elderly man was at least ten cloaked figures, masks covering their faces. Then she shifted her gaze to the floor.
The elderly man.
Tears blurred Lily's vision as everything clicked in her mind.
He was dead. The mysterious figures had killed them.
She put a hand to her mouth, choking back a sob as there was a scream in horror. It was like the domino effect. One scream, making another scream, and another and another till all Lily could hear was screams. People were everywhere. Running, screaming, crying. Being tortured by the horrible masked figures, begging for mercy. . .dying.
Lily couldn't move. She couldn't breathe. She didn't know what to do as tears poured down her face from the shock, fear and sadness of the old man's death.
"James?"
The words were soft unexpected. Yet, they were the first to come out her mouth. Lily stumbled from her chair shakingly pulling out her wand, her knuckles going white on the wand grip. She looked around frantically, not seeing James. There was too much chaos. She had lost him. Where was he? Was he alright?
She spoke louder this time,"James! James, where are you?. . .James!"
Her eyes drifted from the father struggling to get through the crowd to his family, still at their table. Her eyes watched as a masked figure got there first. The mysterious figure's wand rose slowly, as if in slow motion, to the mother and little boy, who was being held behind his mother's back, crying. Tears streamed down the mothers face as well.
Or was that her own tears?
Lily couldn't hear again. She could see the words form on the horrible figure's lips form.
Avada Kedavra. . .
The mother fell to the floor with a dull thump, eyes blank and lifeless. The boy sat on the floor shaking next his lifeless mother. Lily had to move. She had to save him. But she couldn't.
Again. . .
. . .Avada Kedavra. . .
Lily let out a sob.
How could so much happiness be shattered so quickly?
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A/N: I felt horrible writing the last part here. Just awful. I'll do the REVIEW RESPONSES in the morning before I go to school, so expect them pretty early (on LIVEJOURNAL).
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