AN: It's a short fic that I felt like writing. Which really isn't anything new.
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.
His Phantasm
In retrospect, when Sesshoumaru swiped Tenseiga through Rin's body, he never expected her to grow up, grow old, and eventually, create a home in the ground. She was always the small child who left behind a smile on every road. There would always be flowers in her arms and her hair. He didn't miss her, for he held a sense of pride. To miss a human would be his downfall. Just like his father.
And "Good riddance" he would say when the mere memory of his father was brought up. In his eyes, he was a nobody who did something that shouldn't have happened.
--
"Sesshoumaru-sama, what will happen in the future?"
Sesshoumaru prefers not to answer, though he doesn't know why. It wouldn't kill him to say that she will someday die, for she is a human and he is a demon. Then again, if he didn't tell her now, he may as well have been cheating her out of something.
So with heavy arms, he tells her.
And just maybe, he cares a little.
--
Rin doesn't enjoy talking as much as she used to. Those days have been gone, and sometimes, she feels they have been so for far too long. She realizes there is nothing to say to someone who has too much to say. Something desperately pulls at her, but she can only fight it off for so long. In the end, she knows that'll be the death of her.
"Can't you move any faster, girl!" Jaken cries, beckoning her out of a land where ponies, butterflies, and flowers cease to exist. There is only realization, irony, and death in her eyes.
She's beginning to understand just how selfish Sesshoumaru is.
--
Sesshoumaru has noticed she dropped the "-sama" to his name.
--
Night is catching up, but Rin doesn't count the minutes, the hours, or the days anymore. Time has gone by far too quickly, while for Sesshoumaru, it's gone by far too slowly.
He wants to speed things up and Rin just wants things speeded down. But wants are never satisfied.
Rin decides that maybe, just for tonight, she could talk to him. Ask him anything, tell him anything, let him know that time doesn't wait, let him know that one day, she will be gone.
"Sesshoumaru," she hesitates, though there is no reason to. "Would you ever miss me?" She wants the truth.
Sesshoumaru never glances at her. He only looks to the moon and is reminded that he will be seeing many more nights, many more days, and many more roads to take. Sometimes, he wants to just stop breathing for one moment and see how it feels, the idea of not feeling. Because really, he does feel. He just doesn't show, and that is a huge difference.
"I will not miss you. I will keep seeing you over and over. You'll never truly die."
Rin let out a mirthless laugh.
"Funny. I feel like I've died a long time ago…"
--
"Sometimes things happen that don't go as planned, and sometimes we just have to smile and bear it with open arms."
Rin remembered hating her mother when she felt the wolf's fang bite her skin and break her life.
--
Sesshoumaru noticed that Rin couldn't quite keep up anymore. She had to slow down, take a break, and start all over.
Rin felt that ironically enough, she was getting the slow-paced life she wanted. Had it been under better circumstances, she would've appreciated it more.
However, Sesshoumaru does look at her, speak to her, or acknowledge her. But she knows well enough not to question it. He is an intellectual person who calculates everything.
And maybe that was her mistake, because Sesshoumaru pays attention to all the details that he forgets to look at the big picture.
His Rin died a long time ago.
--
She's tired of walking, tired of looking at every bend in the road, just tired of waiting for the inevitable to come.
But he is selfish, and wouldn't want her to go. Sesshoumaru hates change, and Rin leaving would result in that. It was enough for him to bring her under his wing, but to let her part was a completely different manner. He liked to think that he didn't want her to go because all his time would've been wasted on doing so, but that was never truly the case.
"I'm dying all over again."
"And you'll be born once more."
Rin can only do as her mother once told her: Smile and bear it with open arms.
And perhaps, she was being selfish too. Maybe, just maybe, there was a tiny part of her who wanted to stay with him.
But once time starts turning, you can never spin it back.
--
Sesshoumaru has been alone. Jaken has long been gone, and now Rin has been claimed. He would've used Tenseiga, but something in his gut told him to hold back. She would've preferred it anyway. Besides, he had stated many times before, he would see her again.
He has lifetimes to live after all.
--
He has found her and lost her. The real Rin died when she was of seven or eight years. Tenseiga never truly brought her back. He never truly knew Rin.
In reality, his Rin ceased to exist.