"That was… surprisingly close to the book," Steve said, looking a little disturbed. "Except Dickens wasn't a rat."
"No, Gonzo is the rat," Tony corrected him, biting into his third popcorn ball of the evening. "Rizzo was playing himself."
"And you might want to check with Dickens's wife about him being a rat," Pepper said with a meaningful look.
"Wild guess? Traditional Victorian infidelity?" Natasha said, putting her empty bowl on an end table, traces of pink peppermint ice cream still clinging to her lips.
"Bingo," Pepper said. "With her sister."
"Rat," Natasha agreed, sucking the last of the ice cream off her spoon before putting it in the bowl.
"The Ghost of Christmas Past always kind of freaks me out," Clint said, shuddering before he swallowed another swig of eggnog, "or is that just me?"
"She was a little eerie," Natasha agreed.
"They filmed the puppet underwater," Tony said. "That's why she looks so floaty."
"You're a Muppet fan?" Bruce asked.
"More like I was intrigued with the technical tricks they were using," Tony said, "but yeah, anyone who hates the Muppets makes me seriously suspicious."
"What was the green thing?" Loki asked.
"You?" Clint said. "Or do you mean Bruce?"
"In the film," Loki said, giving a long-suffering sigh. "Bob Cratchit. What was that meant to be?"
"That's Kermit the Frog," Natasha said.
"He looks nothing like a frog," Loki said, frowning.
"I'm not overly fond of frogs myself," Thor said, giving Loki a glare that was met with a grin, "but I was quite taken with this tale! I am glad the miserly man has agreed not to starve his worker and that Tiny Tim shall live!"
"What about the old boss, Fozziwig?" Loki asked. "What was that?"
"That's Fozzie Bear," Tony said.
"Yeah, the original name of the character was Fezziwig," Steve said. "My mother used to read me this story every December when I was a kid. It's nice to see something familiar."
"A bear?" Loki said. "Again, I don't see a resemblance."
"Look, just don't ask what Animal is, okay?" Tony said. "Or Gonzo."
"The little rabbit looked like a rabbit," Loki said, tipping his head and considering. "The woman-pig thing, too. She was definitely porcine. Sort of."
"Miss Piggy," Bruce said.
"I do not understand the rules of this film's world," Loki said, nibbling a bit of peanut brittle
Tony shot him a nasty look.
"I'm not saying I don't like it," Loki added quickly, revealing a chunk of a nut stuck between his front teeth. "It's chaotic, and I can appreciate that. And the story was… acceptable."
"Acceptable?" Natasha said, raising an eyebrow with a twinkle in her eyes. "You actually liked this one?"
"It was engaging enough," Loki said, nodding. "The use of past, present, and future as ghosts to awaken Scrooge's conscience was very intriguing. The overall effect of one's life is difficult to gauge without getting an outside perspective. It would be unnerving to see one's own death, I suppose, and could easily produce a marked difference in motivation."
Everyone else in the room looked directly at the fourth wall for a moment, then went back to normal.
"We had this read to us when I was a kid, too," Natasha said. "It was given as an example of how Western culture is filled with badly treated workers and corrupt bosses."
"Well, they weren't not wrong," Tony said with a shrug.
"Says the billionaire," Clint said, taking another bite of fudge.
"I'm not Scrooge," Tony said defensively. "None of my workers is living in a slum."
"So if you're not a greedy, stingy, grasping, covetous old sinner, what would your Christmas Past dangle before you?" Clint asked.
"Probably my relationship with my old man," Tony said, shrugging. "A mile-long string of gorgeous one-night stands. Enough empty bottles of tequila to fill a tank at Sea World. That kind of thing. You?"
"I passed up a chance to be a Hollywood action double," Clint said.
"Ooo, very nice," Tony said, impressed. "What about you, Manwich? Any regrets?"
Thor looked around to be sure Tony was talking to him before sighing and saying, "One does not live a thousand years without accruing regrets. I still feel the sting of many battles that I nearly lost."
"Nearly?" Pepper said.
"I have never actually been bested in combat," Thor said, "not since I was beyond childhood, at any rate, but there were a few times I could have brought the battle to a close more quickly or with better style."
Loki rolled his eyes and finished his entire mug of hot chocolate in one go. We ended up with a whipped cream mustache.
"Bruce? Any regrets?" Tony said, grinning. "Did you get question 4 wrong on an exam once or something?"
"I kind of wish I hadn't laughed at the phys ed requirement in college," he said. "I skipped every yoga class except the first and last. It turns out it really would have been useful."
"How do you live with yourself?" Tony said, shaking his head. "Steve?"
"Not catching Bucky," he said sadly.
Bucky, who was sitting next to him, punched him in the arm and muttered, "Let it go, Steve," before getting another handful of chips and dredging them through the sour cream and onion dip.
Natasha said nothing, and Tony quickly changed the subject.
"I'm just glad I've got the version with the original song in it for Belle and Ebenezer," Tony said. "They left it out of the later releases because it was supposedly too sad or something."
"They edited out a song for its melancholy subject matter but had no qualms about leaving in the dying child?" Thor said, looking confused. "Just how sad was this song?"
"I'd give it a 7 out of 10," Tony said.
"Humans confuse me," Thor said good naturedly. "By the way, I apologize that the shipment of snacks from Asgard is delayed. I assure you, the bilgesnipe will be adequately fattened and then slaughtered before our next viewing party."
"You're killing the fatted bilgesnipe for us?" Pepper said, fighting an amused smile. "That's… really sweet."
"Not if you've ever eaten bilgesnipe," Loki mumbled, taking a chip and looking at the dip before turning to Bucky and saying, "You weren't double dipping, were you?"
He shook his head, his mouth stuffed.
As Loki layered dip on his chips and took a bite, nodding in satisfaction, Clint stretched.
"I like this one. It's cheerful… in a death, poverty, and human suffering kind of way," he said. "It ain't Billy Murray and Carol Kane, but it's a classic. It's not Christmas without some version of A Christmas Carol."
"Speaking of, what's everyone's favorite carol?" Pepper asked. "Mine's 'Deck the Halls.'"
"'Rudolph,'" Clint said.
"'I'll Be Home for Christmas,'" Steve said whistfully.
"All I want for Christmas is you," Bucky muttered, looking over at Steve.
"'Santa Claus Is Coming to Town,'" Tony added.
"Snegurochka," Natasha said, earning confused looks. "I'm Russian, remember? It's the song of the Snow Maiden."
"I enjoy your 'Jingle Bells,'" Thor said enthusiastically.
"That's what she said," Clint whispered loudly, making Pepper nearly choke.
"'The Twelve Days of Christmas,'" Bruce said while thumping her on the back.
"Nothing," Loki said.
"Oh, come on," Clint said. "There's got to be one you don't hate."
"Fine. 'O Holy Night,'" he admitted. "It's… pretty."
"Here I'd pegged you as a 'Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer' fan," Clint said.
Loki shuddered and shoved another handful of chips in his mouth, chewing obnoxiously. It did nothing to dislodge the whipped cream still smeared under his nose.
"And now that Clint had lodged that monstrosity into my subconscious," Tony said, yawning, "I'm taking my leave."
The rest of them slowly got their feet, grabbing random plates, bags, bowls, mugs, and napkins and carting them off to the kitchen. Natasha, however, lingered a moment longer in the room, noticing Loki by the door.
"You didn't mention a past regret," she said quietly, and he turned to look at her, "or don't you have one?"
"I don't recall you mentioning one either," he said, raising an eyebrow. "I assume we have similar reasons."
She looked away, then turned back to find him still regarding her curiously.
"Maybe we do," she said, smiling slightly as she walked past him, carrying a tottering stack of mugs.