"It was a dark and stormy night."

"And everyone was anxiously waiting for what might happen next."

"It was the most dastardly thing to ever befall the universe."

"A game show thriving with gay anime characters!"

"Yes, that's right, a yaoi game show with two narrators!"

"Two narrators who, by the way, were completely disgusted by it."

"One more than the other."

"The game shows host was none other than the deadliest sin herself!"

"No, not the palm tree, the other one."

"Lust!"

"Right! And only the sickest mo'fo's were chosen as contestants! (audience:...) ahem, anyways..."

"The first contestant is the cold hearted man who went psycho after being defeated by a 15 year old girl...yes, it is Nakago!"

"Our second contestant is also fated to be foiled by a fifteen year old girl, give it up for Naraku!"

"And our third and final contestant was also beaten by a 15 year old sexy alchemist named Edward Elric, yes give it up for the lovely palm tree, Envy!"

"Geez, why do all fifteen year olds but us end up going on cool adventures and killing stuff?"

"Because we waste our time writing fanfictions like this one."

"Well this sucks. I wanna kill stuff too!"

"Oh well. Deal with it!"

":sigh: Anyways, our contestants are competing today for the coveted spot on the king of evil's arm. That's right, these freaks wanna date Ganondorf! wow, there is no way we're getting reviews for this!"

"You never know, there could be sickos who'd enjoy this, Ganondorf seems to be."

"Hmm, you seem to have a point there. anyways, let's introduce the people who will endure witnessing this unholy event, the audience!"

"In the first row we have the poor souls who get a close up view, the cast of Fushigi Yugi!"

"In the second row, we have a couple of sages (including Zelda and the fat one) and Link!"

"And in the last row we have some talented alchemists...and some not-so-talented ones. Er...nobody's here for Naraku…"

"Oh, yeah, sorry. they called me about half an hour ago and said they'd rather not see him do this for fear of scarring themselves for life."

"Ah. That's understandable."

"Huh? we're just gonna let it slide? I wanted to tell them that was ok so we could teleport them here now and dash their hopes of getting out of this..."

"Well...this is only the first episode...how about we force them to endure the rest of the series."

"That means the current audience needs a consolation prize or something..."

"I could always give them a kiss...Er, well some of them."

"I said consolation prize. We'd owe everyone double if I let you do that."

"Hmph. I am insulted."

"Why am I arguing with you over this::uses random author powers to teleport the Inu Crew here: there now I don't have to dish out $20 gift certificates for everyone."
":Sigh: Sorry guys. I tried to help you."

"Uhm, who are you people?" Link asked.

":ignores Link: Can we PLEASE get on with the show?"

"Hey..." Link tried to protest.

"Boy you heard the woman, shut up!"

"Ahem. Anyway...wait...where the hell did Lust go?" there was no answer. "LUST?" still nothing. "Grrr..."

"Great if she doesn't come back we have to have a guest host from the audience..."

"I suppose so... (screams of sorrow come from the audience)"

":Laughs insanely: Well, we can either go find Lust and pretend we care nobody wants to be here, or we can just randomly pick someone."

"Bah. Too much work. Let's just pick someone."

"Now, who's will be the lucky victim...?"

"Hmmmm how about...

"No not Miaka! I shall sacrifice myself for you. Choose me." Tamahome randomly burst out.

"Nah, volunteers are no fun...hmm what about..." her eyes wandered to Roy mustang in the back row, who quickly noticed and glared back at her, rubbing his fingers together threateningly."...You're not thinking what I think you're thinking, I hope." Her co-narrator grinned evilly. She sighed."I'm sorry Roy my dear, she doesn't like you...and..."

"Colonel Mustang, get your ass down here!"

"Hell no!" Mustang shouted in response.

"Uh Roy I think she—"

"Come now, Colonel, don't be difficult..."

"Grr…" Roy rubbed his fingers together, making a spark. The Second Narrator acted quickly, and ran to the fire alarm, activating the fire sprinklers.

"Sorry Roy, I had to do it."

"Good little accomplice..." the Other Narrator cooed. She looked at Mustang. "Roy, c'mere, now."

"Get me outta here!" Roy shouted desperately. The Second Narrator ran to Roy and grabbed him.

"Please forgive me!" she said, before dragging him to the stage.

"BWAHAHAHAHA::notices odd stares: uh right so anyways, Let the games begin!"

"...Uh...You know how I really suck at planning? Well I...uh didn't want to plan and had Ganondorf come up with the first event..." the Other Narrator went wide-eyed.

"Oh no..." Other Narrator turned to Roy. "I didn't plan for this and it wasn't my fault." And with that, she ran behind a glass box thing that was randomly placed above the audience. "Holly, if anything blows up or is randomly shocked in the tongue by a cell phone, you have to give me all of your Fushigi Yugi books."

"Hey! I only shocked my tongue on a cell phone once okay!" the Second Narrator, aka Holly, glared at Ganondorf. "This competition better not be too nasty... "

"A swimsuit modeling contest!" Ganondorf announced brightly.

"Oh for the love of— I don't want to be here dammit!" Roy shouted. Holly rushed to his side.

"Please don't get angry…" Roy began screaming swears at the top of his lungs, which prompted Holly to kiss him passionately. Roy shut up and went wide-eyed.

"Oh great, now we have to pay him for being here...you're coming up with the money, Holly."

"Megan, you..." Holly stopped herself and rolled her eyes. "At least I got him to be quiet."

"Well, that's true...Alright, enough stalling! Are the contestants ready?" Some random announcer dude that had been standing behind the curtain poked his head out to answer the Other Narrator, who shall hereby be referred to as Megan. "Yep-o!" he said. Megan turned her attention to the audience.

"Is the audience prepared?"

"NO!" they shouted in unison.

"Close enough...Start the competition!"

"Something tells me we'll regret this...Alright Nakago, you're up first." Nakago came out and started doing disturbing modeling poses. Holly started to read from her cue-card. "Nakago is wearing an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot...WHO THE HELL WROTE THIS?"

"You hired writers?"

Holly sighed. "Next time I'll pay higher salaries. Okay, Naraku, you're next. Naraku ran out onto the stage and started spinning in circles. Holly referred back to her cards. "Naraku is wearing the latest in Yura's Half-Demon clothing line, a lime green two piece with hearts..." she gagged.

Megan shuddered. "Freakin' Yura with her stupid clothing line made of bandanas...Alright, Envy, you're up!" Envy strutted out onstage like an experienced super model, and Megan had the honor of reading Envy's card. "Okay, Envy is wearing a Mermaid Shimmer bikini—wait, what the hell? Envy pulled out scissors from some unknown area of his body and cut part of his top, turning it into a vest.

Holly's eye started twitching. "Oh well it could be worse he could- Oh GEEZ Envy!" Envy took off the little clothing he was wearing and ran around naked. "ENVY! I did NOT need to see THAT!"

"Uh hey as host what am I supposed to do?" Roy asked.

"Just...look like Lust okay?" Holly told him. Roy puffed out his chest, put his hands on his hips, and gave a seductive smile.
Megan stared at him, officially freaked out. "Holly, why did u have to go and tell him that? it reminds of a fanart I saw once..."

"I didn't...I mean I...oh whatever...Roy! Stop acting like a fag!"

"Yeah, don't take on your internet persona! its disturbing..." at this, Lust entered the room. "Aha, there it is." She picked up a half empty soda can from a stool. "Hey, what's goin— oh, hell!" she suddenly realized what she walked in on and tried to make a break for it. "ACK! HOLLY, SIC HER!" Megan shouted.
Holly jumped on Lust and put her in a headlock. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT HELL YOU PUT US THROUGH NOT BEING HERE?" she shouted.

"HA! YOU CAN'T ESCAPE US! now co-host with Roy!"Lust took note of Roy, whose chest was still puffed out and was smiling seductively. "Seriously, if you're going to try and look like me, at least learn how to give a seductive glare." She said indignantly.

"OOOOOkay that's a little too much information."

Megan sighed. "Geez people, you prolong the first episode so much...it's almost like you WANT to be here..."

"Look let's just decide who wins this competition and end the friggin' episode!"

"Exactly! Ganondorf, your verdict, please?"

"I did enjoy Envy's performance, however, you cannot deny Nakago has never looked sexier." Ganondorf said, in a rather school-girl like voice. Holly barfed.

"Ew...man, even watching a snake eat a live mouse wasn't that sick...So, the winner is...wait, I'm confused. Who's the winner?"

"MEEEE!" Nakago shouted, smiling triumphantly.

"Yick...alright, Nakago is the winner! now we can all go to the hotel I booked and barf until tomorrow, when we all have to be here for Episode ! Holly, think of the event yourself this time. I'd rather not live out another of Ganondorf's fantasies."

"Yes well you COULD help out a little for once...Good bye all!"

"Me? help? yeah right, how much you gonna pay me?"

Holly sighed. "Just wave to all the readers."

"PEOPLE ACTUALLY READ THIS CRAP!" Megan went into shock and had a heart attack.

"Well sure, our friends will read it...I mean come on, they're just as bizzarre as us..."

Megan recovered suddenly. "Oh yeah huh...so, Kitzy, Yavi, what'dya think?"

"Megan...we hafta stop talking so they can review."

Megan sighed again. "Fine, I'll shut up. Oh, and by the way, you have to post it."

"Fine. End of Episode one!"

A/N from Night Genie: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Okay that was lame….well, if someone (ANYONE AT ALL) reads this, review. You don't even have to say anything encouraging…….or relevant. You can just be like o0 and that'd be good enough! PLEASE!